Social Anxiety and Unresolved Trauma

[shree]

I'm reaching out for some guidance or shared experiences regarding severe social anxiety that emerges each time my ego reasserts itself after a breakthrough on 5-MeO-DMT.

 

To give some context, I was born during a war, and the country I grew up in never truly recovered from the conflict.

My childhood was fraught with challenges, including a possible sexual trauma, an aggressive alcoholic father, and a super-religious Christian mother who attributed our difficulties to a lack of faith and insufficient church attendance.

 

This has deeply influenced my life, contributing to a complex mix of abnormal shame, massive social anxiety, depression, and dissociation throughout the first 25 years of my life.

In my journey with 5-MeO-DMT, I've learned to surrender to the intense social anxiety that follows the dissolution of my ego during breakthroughs. I try to open up and allow the feelings to pass through me, as Martin Ball suggested me.

 

Despite these challenges I had in the past I lead a functional life today, with my own family.

 

However, my relationships could be much healthier, I could be less introverted, and sometimes my anger issues are quite severe.

 

My experiences with psychedelics indicate that I still harbor unresolved trauma?

Any tips or personal insights would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for your support.