Why is the act of surrendering so challenging for me now?

[Fountainbleu]

I used to be really good at it. I was really good at surrendering. However, years later, now that I've done all this work, have grown so much, find myself doing so much more, i find the act of surrendering challenging. I used to be so good at it. 

Is this 'normal'? I put up 'protection' now. Maybe by energetically protecting myself it in a ways also makes me block myself. I also feel more blocked. Less intuitive. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Edited April 25 by Fountainbleu

[Sempiternity]

"Only thing you have to fear, is fear itself". My guess is that your block is fear related. Leo has some wonderful suggestions in this video on how to get past your fear blocks. 
 

 

[Princess Arabia]

Spirituality is an endless cycle. You will run into blockages and loopholes, trying to do things. You're better off learning how to undo, unless you're trying to reach a materialistic goal and need to learn things in order to accomplish them and to better yourself as a human, or watch videos like the one suggested here, because that pertains to being human in the "real" world. There will always be a point that cannot be overcome on a Spiritual level if you're operating as an individual just like the one you're saying because there's really nothing to surrender to. You will appear to hit a hurdle you can't get over at a certain point and start to get confused and start to wonder about things and ask questions like these and the answer will just lead to more questions.

[Fountainbleu]

10 hours ago, Sempiternity said:

"Only thing you have to fear, is fear itself". My guess is that your block is fear related. Leo has some wonderful suggestions in this video on how to get past your fear blocks. 
 

 

10 hours ago, Sempiternity said:

"Only thing you have to fear, is fear itself". My guess is that your block is fear related. Leo has some wonderful suggestions in this video on how to get past your fear blocks. 
 

 

 

Thank you! I will be sure to watch! And thanks leo, for making the video!

Yeah, i hear you. I recently had a talk with a new friend and she said have you been hurt recently by someone? I reflected on her comment a bit and i was inferring she said that because my heart was a bit closed. I'd been getting comments like that recently. After reflecting a bit I was like yeah, i have been hurt, would make sense why my heart may have closed up a bit. It feels that way. So been working on forgiving and opening my heart back up, and I'm feeling less blocked and my heart more opened.

[Yimpa]

What specifically are you trying to surrender? 

[ryoko]

There's 0 need to surrender to anything or anyone 😂. What are you so concerned about? If it's about new learning. You can become nothing. 

[Yimpa]

48 minutes ago, ryoko said:

There's 0 need to surrender to anything or anyone 😂. What are you so concerned about? If it's about new learning. You can become nothing. 

This is silly. Surrender old ideas of yourself and replacing them with higher quality ones is better than becoming nothing.

[ici]

Surrender to what?

[Princess Arabia]

33 minutes ago, ici said:

Surrender to what?

Surrender to what someone told him to surrender to but forgot to tell him that there's no surrendering to wholeness. Impossible. Surrender is also wholeness. 

Edited April 25 by Princess Arabia

[Fountainbleu]

16 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Spirituality is an endless cycle. You will run into blockages and loopholes, trying to do things. You're better off learning how to undo, unless you're trying to reach a materialistic goal and need to learn things in order to accomplish them and to better yourself as a human, or watch videos like the one suggested here, because that pertains to being human in the "real" world. There will always be a point that cannot be overcome on a Spiritual level if you're operating as an individual just like the one you're saying because there's really nothing to surrender to. You will appear to hit a hurdle you can't get over at a certain point and start to get confused and start to wonder about things and ask questions like these and the answer will just lead to more questions.

Wow, thank you. This is deep! I feel like your just me talking to me. I mean i know you are, but you know what I mean;

When I started on this journey some years back, after a couple of years i was like, wooh, i need some more healing/growth to do before i continue. I was in a state of so much silence, it was even hard for me to write/express myself, i was like if i want to function in the real world i have some growth to do. 

Looking back I wonder how much spiritual bypassing was I doing? I was literally between getting a job in the real world or hermiting somewhere out in nature. I was seriously debating buying a tent and living out in the wilderness, meditating all day. 

But now that I've done all this growth, i find myself 'doing' so much more. Since a year I've been having non dual experiences. The outside feels like the inside. I can be meditating with eyes open, closed, or just walking, it all feels the same. I guess this is non dual experiences? That's why it makes me wonder people on here, that have been on the journey for such a long time, didn't they also reach a state of non duality where the intense spiritual journey basically stops or the desire to does? It all feels the same. I have no more desire for this intensity, at least atm. 

But yes i definitely still have some human desires and to become a 'better' person. Still wanna make money and still have a desire for some other things. 

The one thing I struggle with the most, but getting better, is self discipline! If i don't feel like doing something it's challenging for me to do it. I remember back in the day the people in these forums telling me it's 'ok' to be 'lazy'. So maybe I've transcended it (hard work)? Does that mean i need to make money by manifesting it if I have such a challenging time with discipline?

Sorry for the long winded answer, i had the response clear in my mind but coming out with a little bit of resistance ; P Thank you! 

 

 

[Fountainbleu]

6 hours ago, Yimpa said:

What specifically are you trying to surrender? 

Good question, thanks for asking. 

I have a challenging time surrendering to uncomfortable emotions like fear, or resistance to doing, when i have to do something i might not want to do. Where I'll feel fear come up, try to surrender, but literally feel a block in my body. It's like a part of me is surrendering but the other part is feeling blocked. 

Why do I want to surrender some people ask? To make life easier. To flow. Where I can be surrendering, i find myself resisting, essentially causing suffering. That's why i want to surrender. 

[Fountainbleu]

4 hours ago, ryoko said:

There's 0 need to surrender to anything or anyone 😂. What are you so concerned about? If it's about new learning. You can become nothing. 

I want to surrender to make life easier. To flow. Where I can be surrendering i find myself resisting, essentially causing suffering. That's why i want to surrender. 

[Fountainbleu]

2 hours ago, ici said:

Surrender to what?

Surrendering to uncomfortable emotions like fear, or resistance to doing when i have to do something i might not want to do. Where I'll feel fear come up, try to surrender, but literally feel a block in my body. It's like a part of me is surrendering but the other part is feeling blocked. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Fountainbleu said:

Surrendering to uncomfortable emotions like fear, or resistance to doing when i have to do something i might not want to do. Where I'll feel fear come up, try to surrender, but literally feel a block in my body. It's like a part of me is surrendering but the other part is feeling blocked. 

 

Go and listen to Jim Newman on YT and you will probably gain more clarity on why this doesn't work. There's nothing to surrender to. Those emotions that are coming up are responses that the body does. There's nothing the individual can do because it is nothing the individual is doing. It's just happening, but not to you but it's felt because you've identified with the body which is ok, but It'll pass on it's own. No surrender needed, as there's no one to surrender to what's currently arising. Even the thought of surrendering is just energetic and only a response. These will fade away once the contraction loosens up a bit until there will be no response to try and surrender.

Edited April 25 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

34 minutes ago, Fountainbleu said:

Wow, thank you. This is deep! I feel like your just me talking to me. I mean i know you are, but you know what I mean;

When I started on this journey some years back, after a couple of years i was like, wooh, i need some more healing/growth to do before i continue. I was in a state of so much silence, it was even hard for me to write/express myself, i was like if i want to function in the real world i have some growth to do. 

Looking back I wonder how much spiritual bypassing was I doing? I was literally between getting a job in the real world or hermiting somewhere out in nature. I was seriously debating buying a tent and living out in the wilderness, meditating all day. 

But now that I've done all this growth, i find myself 'doing' so much more. Since a year I've been having non dual experiences. The outside feels like the inside. I can be meditating with eyes open, closed, or just walking, it all feels the same. I guess this is non dual experiences? That's why it makes me wonder people on here, that have been on the journey for such a long time, didn't they also reach a state of non duality where the intense spiritual journey basically stops or the desire to does? It all feels the same. I have no more desire for this intensity, at least atm. 

But yes i definitely still have some human desires and to become a 'better' person. Still wanna make money and still have a desire for some other things. 

The one thing I struggle with the most, but getting better, is self discipline! If i don't feel like doing something it's challenging for me to do it. I remember back in the day the people in these forums telling me it's 'ok' to be 'lazy'. So maybe I've transcended it (hard work)? Does that mean i need to make money by manifesting it if I have such a challenging time with discipline?

Sorry for the long winded answer, i had the response clear in my mind but coming out with a little bit of resistance ; P Thank you! 

 

 

You're welcome. These things will happen and there's no need to try and resist anything as it's just happening on it's own. Jim Newman's messages are very clear and may or may not resonate but look him up, if you haven't already and see if anything resonates with you and maybe brings more clarity on your situation.

[Jodistrict]

Maharishikaa is a spiritual teacher who focuses on surrender as her main spiritual practice.

 

[Loving Radiance]

18 hours ago, Fountainbleu said:

Good question, thanks for asking. 

I have a challenging time surrendering to uncomfortable emotions like fear, or resistance to doing, when i have to do something i might not want to do. Where I'll feel fear come up, try to surrender, but literally feel a block in my body. It's like a part of me is surrendering but the other part is feeling blocked. 

Why do I want to surrender some people ask? To make life easier. To flow. Where I can be surrendering, i find myself resisting, essentially causing suffering. That's why i want to surrender. 

There seems to be a dynamic at play in your psyche between you - self (being in flow with life) - and more subconscious protective psyche parts which use fear and energetic/bodily blocks to shield trauma-/wound-carrying parts. Then there is suffering because you are in resistance to the protective parts in your subconscious, and those parts won't go away because they are integral to your psychological structure.

In order to gain more clarity and resolve this:

1. Get to know your protective parts and their needs. It's likely that they have taken the assignment to protect the child parts in you (which carry wounds and traumatic memory/energy) very seriously. To do this, feel into those blockages/fears and, if you are more of a mental cerebral person, talk to them in an open manner because they are the gateway to your protective parts. Ask what they protect you from. Then ask what need they try to fulfill with this protection.
2. Think how you, as self, can protect yourself and fulfill that need consciously. Envision how much more free you can live in those situations and how much more sustainable you can take care of and fulfill your needs. 
3. Tell this vision or share this image with the protective parts, how they would be having an easier time when you take charge from time to time in taking care of those needs.
4. Only if those protective parts agree, move on to to feeling the needs.
5. Imagine that the needs are your children. Imagine walking to those children deep into your subconscious. Connect to them and ask how you can care for them. It seems that they feel activated/triggered in their trauma-wound in situations in which, as you said "when i have to do something i might not want to do" because it feels to them like an overwhelming past experience with which they couldn't deal with at that time. This trigger then calls in a protection. Ask how you can care for them when you feel pressure and have to do something that you don't want to do. Ask for permission to take care of them in that way. Choose to feel inside of you the will(power) to sustainably take care of them.
6. Feel the radiating love in yourself shining onto the children, how you love and take care of them as a parent figure. Let them be seen and healed in that light as much as they want.
7. Move back to your conscious self. With your rational mind then think what kind of presence/consciousness you need in the future to take care of your needs.
8. Go enjoy the sun

[Fountainbleu]

28 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

There seems to be a dynamic at play in your psyche between you - self (being in flow with life) - and more subconscious protective psyche parts which use fear and energetic/bodily blocks to shield trauma-/wound-carrying parts. Then there is suffering because you are in resistance to the protective parts in your subconscious, and those parts won't go away because they are integral to your psychological structure.

In order to gain more clarity and resolve this:

1. Get to know your protective parts and their needs. It's likely that they have taken the assignment to protect the child parts in you (which carry wounds and traumatic memory/energy) very seriously. To do this, feel into those blockages/fears and, if you are more of a mental cerebral person, talk to them in an open manner because they are the gateway to your protective parts. Ask what they protect you from. Then ask what need they try to fulfill with this protection.
2. Think how you, as self, can protect yourself and fulfill that need consciously. Envision how much more free you can live in those situations and how much more sustainable you can take care of and fulfill your needs. 
3. Tell this vision or share this image with the protective parts, how they would be having an easier time when you take charge from time to time in taking care of those needs.
4. Only if those protective parts agree, move on to to feeling the needs.
5. Imagine that the needs are your children. Imagine walking to those children deep into your subconscious. Connect to them and ask how you can care for them. It seems that they feel activated/triggered in their trauma-wound in situations in which, as you said "when i have to do something i might not want to do" because it feels to them like an overwhelming past experience with which they couldn't deal with at that time. This trigger then calls in a protection. Ask how you can care for them when you feel pressure and have to do something that you don't want to do. Ask for permission to take care of them in that way. Choose to feel inside of you the will(power) to sustainably take care of them.
6. Feel the radiating love in yourself shining onto the children, how you love and take care of them as a parent figure. Let them be seen and healed in that light as much as they want.
7. Move back to your conscious self. With your rational mind then think what kind of presence/consciousness you need in the future to take care of your needs.
8. Go enjoy the sun

Beautiful, thank you!

[Fountainbleu]

19 hours ago, Jodistrict said:

Maharishikaa is a spiritual teacher who focuses on surrender as her main spiritual practice.

 

I will be sure to watch, thanks! 

[Fountainbleu]

57 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

There seems to be a dynamic at play in your psyche between you - self (being in flow with life) - and more subconscious protective psyche parts which use fear and energetic/bodily blocks to shield trauma-/wound-carrying parts. Then there is suffering because you are in resistance to the protective parts in your subconscious, and those parts won't go away because they are integral to your psychological structure.

In order to gain more clarity and resolve this:

1. Get to know your protective parts and their needs. It's likely that they have taken the assignment to protect the child parts in you (which carry wounds and traumatic memory/energy) very seriously. To do this, feel into those blockages/fears and, if you are more of a mental cerebral person, talk to them in an open manner because they are the gateway to your protective parts. Ask what they protect you from. Then ask what need they try to fulfill with this protection.
2. Think how you, as self, can protect yourself and fulfill that need consciously. Envision how much more free you can live in those situations and how much more sustainable you can take care of and fulfill your needs. 
3. Tell this vision or share this image with the protective parts, how they would be having an easier time when you take charge from time to time in taking care of those needs.
4. Only if those protective parts agree, move on to to feeling the needs.
5. Imagine that the needs are your children. Imagine walking to those children deep into your subconscious. Connect to them and ask how you can care for them. It seems that they feel activated/triggered in their trauma-wound in situations in which, as you said "when i have to do something i might not want to do" because it feels to them like an overwhelming past experience with which they couldn't deal with at that time. This trigger then calls in a protection. Ask how you can care for them when you feel pressure and have to do something that you don't want to do. Ask for permission to take care of them in that way. Choose to feel inside of you the will(power) to sustainably take care of them.
6. Feel the radiating love in yourself shining onto the children, how you love and take care of them as a parent figure. Let them be seen and healed in that light as much as they want.
7. Move back to your conscious self. With your rational mind then think what kind of presence/consciousness you need in the future to take care of your needs.
8. Go enjoy the sun

@Loving RadianceRadianceRadianceRadRadiance:

 

@Loving Radiance Couple of questions please.. If I'm more of a feeling type than cerebral as you mentioned, would i just feel into those blocks, talk to them through feelings, like ask them what they need me to protect them from through feelings rather than through a thought, vision or talking to them? Or is verbally communicating to them and sharing a vision with them part of the process?

Also could you please share an example with me of how I could protect myself and fulfil those needs consciously mentioned in number 2? Thanks!! 💜

Edited April 26 by Fountainbleu