5MEO DMT Trip- Going all the way

[tlowedajuicemayne]

My facilitator told me to take three deep breaths, in out, in out, in out, focusing on the exhale. When I exhaled the third breath, he put the vape to my lips and I inhaled. This time, I told myself that I would inhale until he pulled the vape away. I told myself that I wouldn’t stop, no matter how scarred I was, I would just keep on inhaling.

The inhale was warm and tasted like plastic. It was sharp on my lungs but not so much that I couldn’t handle it. I laid back on the matt, closed my eyes and waited for the come up to happen.

It came on almost instantly, the deepest wave I’d ever felt came over me. I clenched my hands to the floor to try and hold on, but something called me to go deeper. I knew that it was pointless to struggle so I relaxed as the experienced took me away. I listened to the music as I went deeper and deeper.

I recall thinking ‘he really dosed me this time.’

It felt a lot like being pulled into a deep underwater place. I could hear the music around me and that kept me feeling alright for a second or two but I began to lose sight of that as the current pulled me deeper. Before long I couldn’t feel my body, I couldn’t hear thoughts anymore, and I was just shooting far away into this place.

My attention moved to this peace that I was feeling which outlasted the passing away of everything. I kept my attention on this peace as I fell apart. I repeated to myself as a part would fall away “I’m okay”, while I kept my attention on this peace that was making itself more and more visible. Another part of me would fall away and I would have a small freakout but then I would put my attention on this pervasive peace and it wouldn’t matter anymore. This place I was going into felt ancient, but alive. I recall a point where the experience felt tribal and it freaked me out a little. I was also freaked out by the fact that absolute reality was happening and that I was being, but then I was pulled away from all that too. Before I knew it, I was gone. I was completely and totally gone.

It was then that I realized this peace was none other than myself.

“I’m okay” I said softly as I became one with this peace.

I don't know how long I was like this. It felt like forever. 

I then began to come back out of the experience. It felt like I was being birthed through a birth canal of some sort. As I came back into my body my first thought was ‘how the hell am I going to live after all this?’ but I remembered my shaman telling me that thinking during this experience isn’t necessary, that it just complicates things. That I had my whole life to contemplate what to do with this experience, that I should simply let it be while it was happening.

I moved my arms and wiggled my toes. I began to laugh the hardest laugh I  ever laughed as I realized that I was truly okay. Not ‘me’ as a personal self but ‘Me’ as Reality, God, whatever you want to call it. I am okay. I laughed so hard! Then, I cried with my whole soul.

30 years I’ve wandered in existence feeling like something was wrong with me. I felt as though I had to become wise, become successful, be better, make money, have sex, etc. to fill this hole within me. My whole life up to this point was built on an insecurity that I didn’t even know I had. I mourned for all the years I’d wandered in darkness. I cried for all the years that I had forgotten I was Absolute Infinity. I then laughed as it was the most brilliant realization I’d ever had. I laughed for how fooled I was, how far I’d come despite being fooled, and I even laughed for no reason at all.

I processed a lot of feelings on the mat. I left a lot behind. I left the most fundamental insecurity I had on the mat and walked away from it forever. Now I see a clear distinction between my authentic self and my domesticated self. I want to live in alignment with my authentic self and I know that the next move to make is to start to take my life apart, piece by piece and rebuild it from this new place.

For the last 8 years or so I’ve been in countless meditation retreats, I’ve sat thousands of hours, all the time wondering what all this is for, what reality is. So here’s the quick version for any of you who are also wondering- It doesn’t matter what it is, it doesn’t matter what purpose you give it, it doesn’t matter what you do within it, none of it matters. You are okay, You are worth it, you are whole and complete, you are perfect and amazing.

That amazing place within me, where my absolute true nature is visible, is also within you. Should you take 5MEO DMT yourself and go all the way or sit on a cushion for 30 years, you will see this same Truth for yourself. You don’t need to go sit for 30 years at a monastery, you don’t need to be nice, or good, or anything. You are always right here, as yourself. There is nothing to attain, nothing to get, nothing to want, nothing to do.  

You are worthy of it all. You are beyond it all.

With love.

[Thought Art]

Namaste 

[Leo Gura]

Sweet!

[Davino]

8 hours ago, tlowedajuicemayne said:

30 years I’ve wandered in existence feeling like something was wrong with me. I felt as though I had to become wise, become successful, be better, make money, have sex, etc. to fill this hole within me. My whole life up to this point was built on an insecurity that I didn’t even know I had. I mourned for all the years I’d wandered in darkness. I cried for all the years that I had forgotten I was Absolute Infinity. I then laughed as it was the most brilliant realization I’d ever had. I laughed for how fooled I was, how far I’d come despite being fooled, and I even laughed for no reason at all.

Beautiful

[Grateful Dead]

Amen brother 🙏

That's wonderful, thanks for sharing!

[abrakamowse]

Thanks for sharing. Awesome experience :-)

[Soul Flight]

Thanks for the post.

I've also felt that "tribal feeling" on shrooms and it kinda grosses me out or something. It feels seductive maybe.

[ZenSwift]

Looking forward to experiencing this.