Does rejection and heartbreak counts as experience?

[Rishabh R]

I have been talking to girls since my 9th standard to know in college. I have experienced rejections and a lot of heartbreak. Does that count as experience? Will they be valuable for me in the future ?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IqVDvnDEJU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3TD6dYMoSM

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-make-rejections-girls-work-your-favor

https://www.girlschase.com/article/you-cant-beat-fear-rejection-more-rejections

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMDNm91MCJQ

 

Edited April 10 by Raze

[NoSelfSelf]

Its crucial in the game to fall down come back and not being defined by reactions of others and endresaults of situations.

[Miguel1]

Yes, of course.

Learning how to handle rejections properly is one of the most important things in dating.

One of those things that can make it or break it for you.

[Princess Arabia]

Would you know what happiness felt like if you didn't know what sadness felt like. Answer that, and you've answered your own question. Usually, the questions are the answers.

[Felliks]

Yes

[Tenebroso]

I have experienced the same. What if you never get a yes?

[Jehovah increases]

Yes, Direct experience of any kind is KING—or even indirect experience.

Edited April 11 by Jehovah increases

[Yimpa]

On 4/10/2024 at 8:38 PM, Tenebroso said:

What if you never get a yes?

What if you never get a no? Getting things too easy sucks 

[ExplorerMystic]

On 10/4/2024 at 1:07 PM, Rishabh R said:

I have been talking to girls since my 9th standard to know in college. I have experienced rejections and a lot of heartbreak. Does that count as experience? Will they be valuable for me in the future ?

You mentioned the word "count". It only count if in future you didn't make the same mistake again. Not talking about going in to relationship again but the "red flag" in your previous relationship which act as experience for future relationships.

[Rishabh R]

So, guys are these experiences valuable ? Will they contribute to something good in the future like finding a good  relationship / girl who doesn't treat me badly and loves me for who I am ?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Rishabh R You are hoping and pitying yourself+ cant listen to the words someone tell you that its necessary so you stop giving a f.So answer is no if you stay like this.

[Rishabh R]

@NoSelfSelf the solution is to stop caring and move forward. You could also talk about that in a respectful manner and also hope to find a better person is one of the key aspects of inner game. So don't demotivate me.

[Thought Art]

It’s often very good experience if you use it to free yourself and learn how your mind works. It’s often best experience in that way. Though, it’s hard.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Rishabh R No because you want me to tell you everything is going to be alright,well it wont you failed the test you care more about how i make you feel than what message im telling you beneath that.Why you think it will be okay? You can accept being what you are. Not everyone is going to make it but it could be you if you stop pity yourself and seek some serious help aka investment of money,sweat,pain...otherwise im lying to you like all the fake feel good type of self help advice.

Poor me i cant get a girlfriend nobody cares you either go become a man or stay who you are not this ohh ill take a moment to understand you make you feel better does nothing time passes and you end up just in same place as you were.

Edited April 15 by NoSelfSelf

[Rishabh R]

@NoSelfSelf hope is the key which inspires action.

Edited April 16 by Rishabh R

[mr_engineer]

On 4/10/2024 at 1:07 PM, Rishabh R said:

I have been talking to girls since my 9th standard to know in college. I have experienced rejections and a lot of heartbreak. Does that count as experience? Will they be valuable for me in the future ?

No, it does not count as experience and it won't be valuable in the future. Negative experiences don't have value.

Hindi movies romanticize heartbreak and 'one-sided love' too much. It's total nonsense. 

You should focus on rising out of negativity and moving towards positivity. You're in college right now, you're very young, so you have very little opportunity to meet girls. Once you start working, though, you will have your own money and you'll be able to travel and meet a lot more people. 

P.S. To everyone else reading, we Indians have a  cultural pattern in which we glorify negativity and crappy circumstances and pain and suffering, because it 'makes us grounded/realistic' (cynical). If we tell him that 'negative experiences are valuable', he'll deliberately go out and seek out negative experiences, instead of doing something that'll improve his life! 

Edited April 16 by mr_engineer

[Rishabh R]

@mr_engineer I am already working to improve my life by studying for exams, reading philosophy or self help books,doing therapy etc.

[Yimpa]

Facing heartbreak head-on and openly has lead to immense growth soon after. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

Yes! I've gained so much growth from rejection and heartbreak. It was extremely painful, but I've been learning to become more comfortable with the pain, I almost enjoy it now, its like working out, I know that my psyche is growing.