HELP! I have urges to cheat.

[Davino]

4 hours ago, Ampresus said:

I keep getting urges to text, snapchat and flirt with other girls. It started with going on dating apps and getting matches that way, but now even in real life I've gotten numbers from girls through regular flirting. My girlfriend and I have traveled together, live together in my mom's house and both go to school/work/gym. We have so much in common, we've been together for so long, yet I keep getting these urges to see other people and I don't know why.

@Ampresus Yeah, I get what you are saying, I'm also struggling throught it myself. I'm happily in a fulfilled relationship but when I see a hit chick walking in the street I get horny. I feel bad in a way because I see that is corruption in myself but I can't help it. So I tried to repress it and change it and that creates inner conflict in myself. There is a drive in the body feeling body for very primal reasons in man. It's a dilemma learning to navigate and get the right balance to have a last fulling relationship with a woman, your long life travel partner. It's mudy terrain my friend!

4 hours ago, Ampresus said:

Obviously I know that whatever I'm doing so far is bad, but I don't want it to get worse. I still care for her and wished I felt the same way about her as I did just a couple months ago. But we have argued a lot about various things and my resentment for her has grown. The thing is though: she does nothing inherently wrong. She's no abuser or straight up mess. It's just that her small behaviors annoy me and I know if I confront her about it we'll be fighting again. I guess I feel like she doesn't validate my feelings. Things like cutting me off while I'm talking, purposefully leaving a mess on my side of the bed or table, being ungrateful when I pick her up from work but at the same time expecting me to always be grateful for her. Her impatience and complaints, just in general not necessarily towards me, make me resent her. These small things make her less desirable to me sexually and as a result we don't have nearly as much sex as we used to. I feel like I'm heading towards a train-wreck.

That's a lack of maturity but it's hard to make it mature. I have a very open and communicative relathionship with her. However, talking about this topic makes her extremely emotional, insecure and defensive, it is also the case with most women. This just adds another layer of complexity to the issue. So after reading Leo's commentary I maybe consider porn to also handle that as I hardly watch it or do my own. Still some portion of just mere femenine to masculine interaction in wordly interaction. There is just something beautiful and fascinating about watching a beautiful woman. In the deep sense but also in the wide sense.

5 hours ago, Ampresus said:

Yes I could just break up with her, but she is truly a one of a kind girl. I do love her. I don't want a relationship this strong to end. I helped her lose weight and got her into the gym. We have been overseas together. Her family loves me, mine loves her. Besides, I'd have to live with her for the foreseeable future since she can't just move out tomorrow. Her family doesn't live in this country, so she'll have to find a new place to rent all by herself.

It seems you are on moments in life that require you to take a decision. There is a calling, a challenge that requires commitment with her, you have doubts about that? Investigate them and resolve them by yourself and decide where your life is gonna go. There are two majero activities in most humans lifes, job and wife. Get it right!

In my case, I know she is the love of my life. If anything makes it work is love, because I know you do love her brother. You have a mega side bonus here, your both familities are friends and love each other. I haven't had that luck in my relationship and makes a lot of a difference, feel lucky about that, you can choose your partner not your family, but you can make your own family in your own terms, have children, pets and home. When you start living with her it will be a challenge but you know what, it is worth to make such an investment if you feel the hunch and decide to i.

A virtual hug brother!

Davino