does pick up even work ?

[Majed]

everytime i do this i get rejected, it's always NO NO NO NO, or i have a boyfriend, i'm married... didn't thought it is so hard to get a girlfriend like jesus christ wtf is that, thousands of rejections, only rarely you have a yes, it's so hard and challenging, i've done thousands of approaches still didn't get laid once. 

maybe social circles is more effective of a strategy, or maybe will try dating apps.

Edited April 7, 2024 by Majed

[Valach]

It absolutely works. I've met my last girlfriend through it. Keep trying, change things up, find mentors, don't give up!

[Yimpa]

I would work on addressing the core issue of rejecting yourself first and foremost.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Majed said:

everytime i do this i get rejected, it's always NO NO NO NO, or i have a boyfriend, i'm married... didn't thought it is so hard to get a girlfriend like jesus christ wtf is that, thousands of rejections, only rarely you have a yes, it's so hard and challenging, i've done thousands of approaches still didn't get laid once. 

maybe social circles is more effective of a strategy, or maybe will try dating apps.

The main thing is to get more comfortable socializing with people in general. I feel like this will go a lot further towards finding a compatible relationship than learning game. 

And IMO, pickup feels pretty gimmicky and can be a real mixed bag when it comes to developing social skills.

On one hand, it can provide different strategies for picking up on signs of interest and how to create interest.

On the other hand, most guys that I've met who do pickup would benefit significantly more just by learning how to be social in general. And pickup can sometimes promote/exacerbate pretty antisocial vibes, behaviors, and mindsets. And women tend to pick up on that and may intuitively or consciously steer clear of men who give off these signals.

Like if I have men approach me in a public setting, I know that he's just crunching numbers and that he's probably doing pickup. And I'm sure most women recognize this at this point, given the popularity of pickup. And I/we are going to associate pick-up with a lot of anti-woman manosphere stuff... even if the guy is just trying to find a girlfriend. 

So, pickup will work eventually since it's a numbers game. But to be honest, I think that seeking to master community building and socialization in general (with all people) will go much further towards finding a relationship than cold approach and other pickup strategies.

[StarStruck]

Attracting a girl is like attracting a cat. If you run after it you will just chase it away.

With pickup more is less. If you are not attracting a girl you are just not hot enough and you need to work on your confidence, status, outfit, and vibe. 

If you are just a lustful person she will feel that. If you are a hot guy, the horn dog game will work for you. But if you are ugly, low status, you need to use love. If you are a loving person you will radiate that too. And she will be attracted to that. 

 

Edited April 7, 2024 by StarStruck

[Princess Arabia]

42 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Attracting a girl is like attracting a cat. If you run after it you will just chase it away.

With pickup more is less. If you are not attracting a girl you are just not hot enough and you need to work on your confidence, status, outfit, and vibe. 

If you are just a lustful person she will feel that. If you are a hot guy, the horn dog game will work for you. But if you are ugly, low status, you need to use love. If you are a loving person you will radiate that too. And she will be attracted to that. 

 

This comment is so demeaning. Saying "if you are not attracting a girl you are not hot enough", if you are ugly and low status, you need to use love". So demeaning. 

Saying if you are a loving person and she will be attracted to that is such hogwash. If that's the case, every man who attracts a woman is loving and there are nothing but loving relationships between a man and a woman and it's the woman's fault why it's not loving since the man is the one whose loving. Of course, that's just my interpretation of what's been said, so it means nothing.

Sometimes I even wonder if you really think through what it is that you're saying. Then again, this is the chaotic Universe at play. Can't argue with that.

Edited April 7, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[StarStruck]

@Princess Arabia I meant not valuable enough instead of hot enough. People look at things that are valuable to them and they want them. You basically want to be wanted. I don't see how that is demeaning. Perhaps I could have said it in a different way though. The video explains my position very well. You just have to "be" love, instead "doing" loving. And what is love? I don't love girls. I love the Self. Girls are not worth it imo. I just go straight to the point: loving God.

 

Edited April 7, 2024 by StarStruck

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

And what is love? I don't love girls. I love the Self. Girls are not worth it imo. I just go straight to the point: loving God

Delusion. The girls are God. "the girls are not worth it", doesn't care what you think. You're seeking worth, something to value. Everything is value and nothing is value. Your going straight to the point means nothing, because there is no point. Loving the girls is loving the self, if you want to go there. See my signature. Even you not loving the girls and saying girls aren't worth it, is also unconditional love. Unconditional love includes you not loving the girls. It is love without conditions. Doesn't matter what appears, it's still love. You will suffer in the dream of separation because you think you're choosing to love or not love. Of course, the suffering is an illusion but it will surely feel that way to the one who thinks it's separate. 

[Ulax]

Gotta do them field reports boio

[Felliks]

I met all girls through cold approach. Girlfriends were always random. ONS were more consistent.

[Schizophonia]

A man is supposed to be handsome, there are no beta men in nature.
There are beta men because of the modern lifestyle and cereal-based diet.
Large quantities of testosterone and/or growth homones as well as certain practices (mewing) will allow you to develop your face.
Otherwise cosmetic surgery.

pm for more informations 

Edited April 7, 2024 by Schizophonia

[StarStruck]

53 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Delusion. The girls are God. "the girls are not worth it", doesn't care what you think. You're seeking worth, something to value. Everything is value and nothing is value. Your going straight to the point means nothing, because there is no point. Loving the girls is loving the self, if you want to go there. See my signature. Even you not loving the girls and saying girls aren't worth it, is also unconditional love. Unconditional love includes you not loving the girls. It is love without conditions. Doesn't matter what appears, it's still love. You will suffer in the dream of separation because you think you're choosing to love or not love. Of course, the suffering is an illusion but it will surely feel that way to the one who thinks it's separate. 

I’m where I’m. And I gotta love that. 

[actuallyenlightened]

It completely depends on who you are and how you act. If she thinks that she won't meet a better guy anytime soon she'll definitely be interested. A successful approach really depends on you personality but in general these worked for me:

- Don't be nervous
- Be reasonable
- Be confident
- Smile genuinely
- Make an effort to connect
- Be sane 
- Be happy
- Don't try to impose your opinion on her
- Don't be desperate
- Have good things going on in your life
- Banter / have fun

These are things you just need to get an intuition for and can't fake for long. You could also go the bad guy approach but I can't say much given my lack of success there

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I’m where I’m. And I gotta love that. 

Ok, more power to you, wherever you are and whatever it is that you love.

[Leo Gura]

You need to make friends with guys who are good, follow them, and learn from them and watch their results.

Just doing it by yourself you will make too many mistakes that will tank your results and you won't know why.

Pickup works but it requires pretty specific rules.

Edited April 7, 2024 by Leo Gura

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIx-MfnA358

https://www.girlschase.com/content/im-doing-everything-succeed-women-its-still-not-working
 

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-when-your-approach-just-isnt-working

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGuAGRORK68

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hOwNudcVgI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

Edited April 7, 2024 by Raze

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ok, more power to you, wherever you are and whatever it is that you love.

I’m not a chaser. I like to attract.  I’m just back from a night out and attracted to the hottest girl in the night club but when she approached me to dance I was like wtf and I messed it up. It was all over my face how nervous and out of league I felt. I could hate myself right now but sometimes you just fuck up. Especially if a jaw dropping girl approaches me which doesn’t happen that often I just get dumb struck. 

Edited April 7, 2024 by StarStruck

[krockerman]

6 hours ago, Emerald said:

The main thing is to get more comfortable socializing with people in general. I feel like this will go a lot further towards finding a compatible relationship than learning game. 

And IMO, pickup feels pretty gimmicky and can be a real mixed bag when it comes to developing social skills.

On one hand, it can provide different strategies for picking up on signs of interest and how to create interest.

On the other hand, most guys that I've met who do pickup would benefit significantly more just by learning how to be social in general. And pickup can sometimes promote/exacerbate pretty antisocial vibes, behaviors, and mindsets. And women tend to pick up on that and may intuitively or consciously steer clear of men who give off these signals.

Like if I have men approach me in a public setting, I know that he's just crunching numbers and that he's probably doing pickup. And I'm sure most women recognize this at this point, given the popularity of pickup. And I/we are going to associate pick-up with a lot of anti-woman manosphere stuff... even if the guy is just trying to find a girlfriend. 

So, pickup will work eventually since it's a numbers game. But to be honest, I think that seeking to master community building and socialization in general (with all people) will go much further towards finding a relationship than cold approach and other pickup strategies.

https://youtu.be/Ov9r4gHfmvQ?si=PTQbFzmB8dyHrz4A

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I’m not a chaser. I like to attract.  I’m just back from a night out and attracted to the hottest girl in the night club but when she approached me to dance I was like wtf and I messed it up. It was all over my face how nervous and out of league I felt. I could hate myself right now but sometimes you just fuck up. Especially if a jaw dropping girl approaches me which doesn’t happen that often I just get dumb struck. 

Proved my point. You're not in control. If you were, she'd be in your bed right now. All you're talking about here are just stories about why you messed up. Keeping you in the dream.

Edited April 8, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Attracting a girl is like attracting a cat. If you run after it you will just chase it away.

With pickup more is less. If you are not attracting a girl you are just not hot enough and you need to work on your confidence, status, outfit, and vibe. 

If you are just a lustful person she will feel that. If you are a hot guy, the horn dog game will work for you. But if you are ugly, low status, you need to use love. If you are a loving person you will radiate that too. And she will be attracted to that. 

 

This seems to imply that you view a man who attracts women based on lust to be in a higher/better position with women compared to men who attract women based on love.

Almost like... if a man is hot he can have a woman lust after him... but if a man is ugly, he can't get a woman's lust so he has to settle for getting a woman to love him.

Setting aside that attractions don't really easily sort themselves neatly into the category of lust and love and that this is a false dichotomy...

This implies that you view a woman's lust as harder to get than her love or that a woman's love is a consolation prize that you get when you can't get her lust.

But honestly, lust is the easier of the two to get. And a man doesn't need to be conventionally attractive to get a woman's lust. 

Also, there seems to be some misunderstandings about male social status baked into this point of view...

Ultimately, the men who are the most mature, well-adjusted, and functional tend to have the highest status in society. And mainstream society tends to view this in relation to the community that surrounds that man... including having a wife and children that he loves. There are also other factors like having charisma and a good job and looks are somewhere in there too. 

Usually, a guy who is good at picking up women and triggering interest at a bar is either young and experimenting (under 25) or he's older and learning pick up and he's a bit of a late bloomer. Neither one of those scream male status.

My whole point in this is that you could benefit by getting a more accurate understanding of what actually makes a man highly valuable in the eyes of women and society at large. And his ability to have women lusting after him is not a great metric for it. A better metric is how capable he is of maintaining a longterm love relationship or how interconnected he is with his community.