Reasons why men care about a woman's body count (And vice versa)

[krockerman]

Logical Negatives

1. Mental/Emotional Concerns: Men may worry about the emotional and mental impact of a woman's sexual or romantic past, including issues like difficulties in forming deep emotional connections, fidelity, satisfaction in relationships, and the potential for unfavorable comparisons with past partners.

2. Character Concerns: There's a perception that a history of numerous sexual partners may correlate with other behavioral patterns, including substance use or a tendency towards unstable relationships, which might reflect broader character traits.

3. Physical Concerns: Concerns about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the possibility of being responsible for a child from another relationship due to previous sexual activities are significant.

4. Toxic Ex-Partners Concern: The fear that former partners may cause problems in the current relationship is another concern.

5. Social Perception Concerns: There's a worry about how being with someone perceived as sexually active might affect one's social standing or reputation.

6. Cultural Concerns: In some cultures, having a high number of sexual partners is looked down upon, affecting how a relationship is viewed by the community.

7. Spiritual Concerns: For some, there are religious or spiritual beliefs that value sexual modesty, and a partner's sexual history can conflict with these beliefs.

Emotional Negatives:

1. Physical Repulsion/Disgust: Some men might find the idea of their partner having been sexually active with others repulsive.

2. Loss of Perceived Physical Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): The exclusivity of a sexual relationship can feel particularly special, and a partner's past can diminish this feeling.

3. Loss of Perceived Emotional Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): Similar to physical exclusivity, emotional exclusivity is also highly valued and can be impacted by a partner's past.

4. Insecurity: Concerns about not measuring up to a partner's past experiences can lead to feelings of insecurity.

5. Intimidation: The thought of being with someone more sexually experienced can be intimidating for some.

6. Envy of Emotional/Physical Experiences: There may be a desire for parity in sexual and emotional experiences within the relationship.

7. Emotional Response to Perceived Physical Concerns: Even if there's no logical basis for concern about STDs, pregnancy or other physical issues, the emotional response can still be strong.
 

Logical Positives

1. Experience: Enhanced sexual performance and understanding of safe sex practices, potentially leading to improved compatibility. Experience can facilitate a deeper learning about one's own desires and how to fulfill those of their partner.

2. Openness: Greater willingness to explore new experiences and sexual ventures. A history of diverse encounters suggests a comfort with various aspects of intimacy, enhancing the dynamic of the relationship.

3. Non-judgmental Attitude: A more accepting perspective towards a partner's kinks, sexual past, and preferences. This fosters an environment where individuals feel safe sharing and exploring their desires without fear of judgment.

4. Cognitive Outgrowth: Having navigated through various experiences, a partner may be more prepared for commitment, having already explored their desires and understood what they seek in a relationship.

5. Relatability: Shared experiences in past relationships can make it easier for partners to understand and empathize with each other, creating a foundation for a stronger emotional connection.

Emotional Positives

1. Physical Arousal: Knowledge of a partner’s sexual history can be a source of arousal, challenging the notion that past sexual experiences detract from the current relationship's intimacy.

2. Feeling of Relatability: The emotional resonance of knowing both partners have similar levels of experience fosters a deeper sense of connection and mutual understanding.

3. Acceptance: The openness that comes with sharing and accepting each other's past strengthens the trust and emotional bond between partners, promoting a culture of honesty and openness.

4. Emotional Turn-On: Confidence in expressing and embracing one's sexuality can be highly attractive, particularly to those who value sexual openness and expression as integral to a relationship's dynamism and intimacy.

There is alot of discussion if body count matter. Here is an comprehensive list of why men (and women care)

[Princess Arabia]

There's no way to tell a person's "body count" (gosh, I hate that term), other than what they tell you, so all the emotional baggage is futile. This is all just fantasy. Protect yourself, yes; everything else is just ideas about the person.

Edited April 6 by Princess Arabia

[TheGod]

I think it's a cultural thing. 

In my country body count matters for men. Guys like to show off with girls they slept with. It's believed that the more girls you fucked the more alpha male you are. Objectively I think it's pure nonsense, but this idea sits very deep in my psyche. 

Edited April 6 by TheGod

[krockerman]

50 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

There's no way to tell a person's "body count" (gosh, I hate that term), other than what they tell you, so all the emotional baggage is futile. This is all just fantasy. Protect yourself, yes; everything else is just ideas about the person.

It's just the reasons why men care. Both in a positive and a negative way

[Heaven]

Would you prefer a lock that can be opened by any key or a key that can open any lock?

Hopefully that simplify the debate.

[bebotalk]

17 hours ago, krockerman said:

Logical Negatives

1. Mental/Emotional Concerns: Men may worry about the emotional and mental impact of a woman's sexual or romantic past, including issues like difficulties in forming deep emotional connections, fidelity, satisfaction in relationships, and the potential for unfavorable comparisons with past partners.

2. Character Concerns: There's a perception that a history of numerous sexual partners may correlate with other behavioral patterns, including substance use or a tendency towards unstable relationships, which might reflect broader character traits.

3. Physical Concerns: Concerns about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the possibility of being responsible for a child from another relationship due to previous sexual activities are significant.

4. Toxic Ex-Partners Concern: The fear that former partners may cause problems in the current relationship is another concern.

5. Social Perception Concerns: There's a worry about how being with someone perceived as sexually active might affect one's social standing or reputation.

6. Cultural Concerns: In some cultures, having a high number of sexual partners is looked down upon, affecting how a relationship is viewed by the community.

7. Spiritual Concerns: For some, there are religious or spiritual beliefs that value sexual modesty, and a partner's sexual history can conflict with these beliefs.

Emotional Negatives:

1. Physical Repulsion/Disgust: Some men might find the idea of their partner having been sexually active with others repulsive.

2. Loss of Perceived Physical Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): The exclusivity of a sexual relationship can feel particularly special, and a partner's past can diminish this feeling.

3. Loss of Perceived Emotional Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): Similar to physical exclusivity, emotional exclusivity is also highly valued and can be impacted by a partner's past.

4. Insecurity: Concerns about not measuring up to a partner's past experiences can lead to feelings of insecurity.

5. Intimidation: The thought of being with someone more sexually experienced can be intimidating for some.

6. Envy of Emotional/Physical Experiences: There may be a desire for parity in sexual and emotional experiences within the relationship.

7. Emotional Response to Perceived Physical Concerns: Even if there's no logical basis for concern about STDs, pregnancy or other physical issues, the emotional response can still be strong.
 

Logical Positives

1. Experience: Enhanced sexual performance and understanding of safe sex practices, potentially leading to improved compatibility. Experience can facilitate a deeper learning about one's own desires and how to fulfill those of their partner.

2. Openness: Greater willingness to explore new experiences and sexual ventures. A history of diverse encounters suggests a comfort with various aspects of intimacy, enhancing the dynamic of the relationship.

3. Non-judgmental Attitude: A more accepting perspective towards a partner's kinks, sexual past, and preferences. This fosters an environment where individuals feel safe sharing and exploring their desires without fear of judgment.

4. Cognitive Outgrowth: Having navigated through various experiences, a partner may be more prepared for commitment, having already explored their desires and understood what they seek in a relationship.

5. Relatability: Shared experiences in past relationships can make it easier for partners to understand and empathize with each other, creating a foundation for a stronger emotional connection.

Emotional Positives

1. Physical Arousal: Knowledge of a partner’s sexual history can be a source of arousal, challenging the notion that past sexual experiences detract from the current relationship's intimacy.

2. Feeling of Relatability: The emotional resonance of knowing both partners have similar levels of experience fosters a deeper sense of connection and mutual understanding.

3. Acceptance: The openness that comes with sharing and accepting each other's past strengthens the trust and emotional bond between partners, promoting a culture of honesty and openness.

4. Emotional Turn-On: Confidence in expressing and embracing one's sexuality can be highly attractive, particularly to those who value sexual openness and expression as integral to a relationship's dynamism and intimacy.

There is alot of discussion if body count matter. Here is an comprehensive list of why men (and women care)

It's a stupid "debate".

People have legitimate reasons for caring about it. Or not, in whichever case. Chasity has been a value held in many cultures for centuries if not millennia. 

It should be perfectly legitimate to care about it or not. 

I'm surprised really that people haven't got that chastity has been a prized value in Western culture. Contemporary sex-positivity is really an aberration of the longstanding norm. 

[bebotalk]

Seems the detractors of this bodycount ideal are those whose feelings are hurt, especially if they get turned down for having a high bodycount. And? who really gives a fuck? not everybody has to value open sex. That is part of the sex positivity ideal - in that ALL forms of sexual expression are valued and celebrated, provided they are consensual. 

People need to be less sensitive and accepting of others' opinions and values. 

If some man or women who has fucked 100 people isn't suitable for another who desires chasteness, so be it. Don't get in a fret and find somebody of a suitable lifestyle or value system. 
 

[bebotalk]

Seriously, how did this even become a debate? It's been the norm for literally millennia to value sexual chastity or experience in partners. If people are offended that others will turn them down for having a high bodycount, then they need to toughen up a bit. They're lucky they live in a time where having a high bodycount isn't a widespread stigma. 

[coburn]

22 hours ago, Heaven said:

Would you prefer a lock that can be opened by any key or a key that can open any lock?

Hopefully that simplify the debate.

Simplify? It makes it even weirder by you comparing a woman to a lock.. 

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, coburn said:

Simplify? It makes it even weirder by you comparing a woman to a lock.. 

Lol. Beats comparing to a female dog.

[bebotalk]

On 06/04/2024 at 9:13 PM, krockerman said:

Logical Negatives

1. Mental/Emotional Concerns: Men may worry about the emotional and mental impact of a woman's sexual or romantic past, including issues like difficulties in forming deep emotional connections, fidelity, satisfaction in relationships, and the potential for unfavorable comparisons with past partners.

2. Character Concerns: There's a perception that a history of numerous sexual partners may correlate with other behavioral patterns, including substance use or a tendency towards unstable relationships, which might reflect broader character traits.

3. Physical Concerns: Concerns about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the possibility of being responsible for a child from another relationship due to previous sexual activities are significant.

4. Toxic Ex-Partners Concern: The fear that former partners may cause problems in the current relationship is another concern.

5. Social Perception Concerns: There's a worry about how being with someone perceived as sexually active might affect one's social standing or reputation.

6. Cultural Concerns: In some cultures, having a high number of sexual partners is looked down upon, affecting how a relationship is viewed by the community.

7. Spiritual Concerns: For some, there are religious or spiritual beliefs that value sexual modesty, and a partner's sexual history can conflict with these beliefs.

Emotional Negatives:

1. Physical Repulsion/Disgust: Some men might find the idea of their partner having been sexually active with others repulsive.

2. Loss of Perceived Physical Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): The exclusivity of a sexual relationship can feel particularly special, and a partner's past can diminish this feeling.

3. Loss of Perceived Emotional Exclusivity/Specialness (Jealousy): Similar to physical exclusivity, emotional exclusivity is also highly valued and can be impacted by a partner's past.

4. Insecurity: Concerns about not measuring up to a partner's past experiences can lead to feelings of insecurity.

5. Intimidation: The thought of being with someone more sexually experienced can be intimidating for some.

6. Envy of Emotional/Physical Experiences: There may be a desire for parity in sexual and emotional experiences within the relationship.

7. Emotional Response to Perceived Physical Concerns: Even if there's no logical basis for concern about STDs, pregnancy or other physical issues, the emotional response can still be strong.
 

Logical Positives

1. Experience: Enhanced sexual performance and understanding of safe sex practices, potentially leading to improved compatibility. Experience can facilitate a deeper learning about one's own desires and how to fulfill those of their partner.

2. Openness: Greater willingness to explore new experiences and sexual ventures. A history of diverse encounters suggests a comfort with various aspects of intimacy, enhancing the dynamic of the relationship.

3. Non-judgmental Attitude: A more accepting perspective towards a partner's kinks, sexual past, and preferences. This fosters an environment where individuals feel safe sharing and exploring their desires without fear of judgment.

4. Cognitive Outgrowth: Having navigated through various experiences, a partner may be more prepared for commitment, having already explored their desires and understood what they seek in a relationship.

5. Relatability: Shared experiences in past relationships can make it easier for partners to understand and empathize with each other, creating a foundation for a stronger emotional connection.

Emotional Positives

1. Physical Arousal: Knowledge of a partner’s sexual history can be a source of arousal, challenging the notion that past sexual experiences detract from the current relationship's intimacy.

2. Feeling of Relatability: The emotional resonance of knowing both partners have similar levels of experience fosters a deeper sense of connection and mutual understanding.

3. Acceptance: The openness that comes with sharing and accepting each other's past strengthens the trust and emotional bond between partners, promoting a culture of honesty and openness.

4. Emotional Turn-On: Confidence in expressing and embracing one's sexuality can be highly attractive, particularly to those who value sexual openness and expression as integral to a relationship's dynamism and intimacy.

There is alot of discussion if body count matter. Here is an comprehensive list of why men (and women care)

Most of these are common points, literally for centuries. 

I don't know how this even became a debate. 

It's as banal a debate as "do looks matter in dating" or "does money matter in dating". of course they do.