Lost And Don't Know Where To Start

[Smiler]

Hi, I know that it is important to have a purpose in life but I don't and I don't where to start looking. I have been reading books, and watching videos while trying to learn about myself, but I still often have very low points when I realize I have no idea what I want to, or should be doing with my life. I was quite upset today when i saw some questions that are supposed to help to keep people on track, one of them was "What does the best day ever look like to you?" I don't know what it looks like anymore! I think that is partly because I have had a couple of new starts in the past year and they came with a lot of problems that I didn't expect. I know it is going to take some time to figure it out, but any advice you can give me would be great.

Thanks

[Guest]

I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do in your life. I am too young to say something helpful but one thing I can tell you that anything you start doing in your life will come with problems. What I suggest you is don't think about the future and listen to your heart, do what you like. Because nothing will happen as it is supposed to. And life is all about struggling.

[cly]

Work, make money, it may not be your perfect job right away but that is basic survival as you then move onto the path toward your life purpose. Remember this, as you do begin to widdle down to what you truely want: live a life that is true to yourself, not what others expect of you or what others want you to do!

[Rito]

1 hour ago, Smiler said:

Hi, I know that it is important to have a purpose in life but I don't and I don't where to start looking. I have been reading books, and watching videos while trying to learn about myself, but I still often have very low points when I realize I have no idea what I want to, or should be doing with my life. I was quite upset today when i saw some questions that are supposed to help to keep people on track, one of them was "What does the best day ever look like to you?" I don't know what it looks like anymore! I think that is partly because I have had a couple of new starts in the past year and they came with a lot of problems that I didn't expect. I know it is going to take some time to figure it out, but any advice you can give me would be great.

Thanks

Its perfectly okay to not have a well defined  life purpose .It is not something unique and rigid that you need to worship throughout your life.As you progress through life you will gain maturity and slowly you will understand things and see them for what they are.In the light of new perspective it will be much easier.

Your time here is limited and you have in-front of you an unending buffet of dishes in front of you. Would you fill your stomach up with only one item and miss out on all the other cool dishes entirely?Or rather will you keep on sampling small helpings of each and find out yourself what is the best dish of all times.

It all boils down to what I would like to call the two E's of life Purpose.Experimentation and Elimination.First experiment.Then give it some time and patiently observe whether it brings you in a state of flow.If not eliminate it entirely.Like I am not good in music,so I cancel out music and all its allied fields.A time will come when nothing will remain except your life purpose.And after that if you still don't have a well-defined purpose you can resort to the broader ones like ,saving the planet,helping the poor,spreading education etc etc. 

[DanoDMano]

On ‎2‎/‎14‎/‎2016 at 9:33 AM, Rito said:

Its perfectly okay to not have a well defined  life purpose .It is not something unique and rigid that you need to worship throughout your life.As you progress through life you will gain maturity and slowly you will understand things and see them for what they are.In the light of new perspective it will be much easier.

Your time here is limited and you have in-front of you an unending buffet of dishes in front of you. Would you fill your stomach up with only one item and miss out on all the other cool dishes entirely?Or rather will you keep on sampling small helpings of each and find out yourself what is the best dish of all times.

It all boils down to what I would like to call the two E's of life Purpose.Experimentation and Elimination.First experiment.Then give it some time and patiently observe whether it brings you in a state of flow.If not eliminate it entirely.Like I am not good in music,so I cancel out music and all its allied fields.A time will come when nothing will remain except your life purpose.And after that if you still don't have a well-defined purpose you can resort to the broader ones like ,saving the planet,helping the poor,spreading education etc etc. 

@Rito Great answer brother. You seem wiser beyond your years (unless you've had plastic surgery). Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Zane]

It's perfectly normal to begin feeling lost and uncertain! I recommend spending some time journaling on your deepest passions and your vision for your future and ask yourself "how can I create my own life?" I recommend watching Leo's videos and using other personal development resources or talk to people who are living a passionate lifestyle. You're starting out and you have plenty of time left and you have infinite potential within you. How can I help you with discovering your passion? 

[QandC]

On 2016-02-14 at 2:20 PM, Smiler said:

Hi, I know that it is important to have a purpose in life but I don't and I don't where to start looking. I have been reading books, and watching videos while trying to learn about myself, but I still often have very low points when I realize I have no idea what I want to, or should be doing with my life. I was quite upset today when i saw some questions that are supposed to help to keep people on track, one of them was "What does the best day ever look like to you?" I don't know what it looks like anymore! I think that is partly because I have had a couple of new starts in the past year and they came with a lot of problems that I didn't expect. I know it is going to take some time to figure it out, but any advice you can give me would be great.

Thanks

First of all, when you feel lost and everything blablabla: CLEAN YOUR HOUSE. Just do it. Everything around you, aka. your surroundings or whatever needs to be perfect. You can start from there.

Then, stop masturbating and watching porn. Stop watching TV and doing other things that doesn't benefit you. Meditate 2-3 times a day.

Do that for like a month, and then you can build on it.

This is the way I see personal development, you gotta take care of some basic things before moving on

Those are like the primary things to take care of first of all, if you don't have the basics above under control, then I feel sorry for you man... 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Quizzer
no reason

[Bombardini]

@Quizzer This is my experience as well.

Unhooking from external stimulation is also recommended. I've never tried it myself but I guess it's suppose to give the mind a chance to really think about your life, I mean really think. Instead of stimulating your mind as soon as you're feeling bored or restless. 

Isolate yourself (perhaps in nature, if possible) and just sit and be. No phone,tv or any kind of external stimulation. Doing this for a week or so is supposeddly going to give you deep insights. 

Im going to try it myself during a 10-day vipassana retreat.

[Cabot]

14 hours ago, Quizzer said:

First of all, when you feel lost and everything blablabla: CLEAN YOUR HOUSE. 

He's right though, it does help a lot. You also clean your mind and calm yourself  while doing it. Start small, have faith in yourself. Enjoy the journey. 

Reflecting is key. We tend to have these big realizations, then panic, try to figure out what to do... We make grand, life changing decisions.

By the time we wake up next morning it's usually all gone, and we're back to our default dream like state.

This is why meditation and isolation is important. It'll give you honest one on one time with yourself. You are the only person that can figure out what's best for you, purpose wise. Make a habit out of meditating. 20 minutes every day will do wonders, but it must be consistent. It's a good place to start. 

Long term, Rito is on spot. You got to try out new stuff, all the time... It's the only way to know what works for you. This should never end. 

 

[SaynotoKlaus]

To be honest i think all the questions you ask yourself and all the logical thinking about what you should be doing  won't help you , it will only make you frustrated because you can't find the answer. I know because i tried this myself

The thing that worked best for me was experimentation. Keep trying all sorts of hobbies and activities. If you see something that's even a bit interesting just try it for the sake of experimenting. You will find many things that you don't enjoy as much as you thought you would , and with other things you will be pleasantly surprised. Don't analyze too much , if it feels good keep it , if not stop , regardless of how cool it seems on the surface.

As you keep trying new stuff you will filter them and keep only the activities you like the most , until you will find yourself something you enjoy doing all day and you don't give a shit about anything else.

Be open minded and adventurous , happiness can come even from the most simple and silly things. For example my favorite thing ever is to draw with graphite pencils. It won't bring me any money , fame or vaginas (maybe a bit) and i won't help anyone with this , but it makes me really happy so i don't care.

Don't be afraid to spend time learning something because you might waste your time , in the quest for your life purpose that's time well spent. 

 

[Cookiesliyr]

@Smiler you got yourself a lot of good advises actually, it is good to have a place like this i guess ...

i can't add anything more useful than all of those wonderful suggestions, but the guys\girls are right, your brain isn't designed for spiral thinking, because unlike computers, that builds stress up, when that happen you need sometimes some distractions, the sad thing is if you are under heavy stimulation life style that would be the main reason of the problem, you taking life of superficial happiness as granted, and it is quite hard to hook off from it.

but that's not the only case, if you are not one of those and you just depressed (which is quite hard to come out from it alone, if not impossible when it hit certain levels) and feel like a loser, and worthless and always rejected, in that case my friend you need help from outside, yes, you need a specialist or very good friends, i prefer the former because they are the experts and they would be honest with you, they won't play along and be subjective about the subjects. The specialists (genuine ones), on the other hand, won't say stupid stuff or give stupid advises, they would guide you correctly, but remember those doctors and medications are not the mean end of the cure, you need to support yourself to get out, if you just blame the doctor or medication didn't get you out of your situation, and solved your problem like magic, and stay depressed about it, no one can help you in that one, you need to work on yourself buddy.

so yes, based on your case, on your problems, life style and believes, different solutions can be found for your case, which is why you need to know yourself more, and be honest about what is going on in your life, which meditation can help you in this case, and the console of people that your truly trust, your parents, your brothers or sisters or your mentor, whoever you trust the most, seek their help, and they would give you a hand.

Edited February 23, 2016 by Cookiesliyr