Game equivalent for women. How to make a guy stay?

[Twentyfirst]

18 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Only if you're looking for someone to build your ego or looking to get something from her. If you just want to love her, no incentives needed.

This would only work for 0.01 percent of the population 

[Dauntment]

These super broad questions are always icky to answer in a 1-directional sense but here goes:......

I don't know what horsesh*t some people in this thread on here might say but (What I would put forth) Top Qualities that would most likely "make him want to "stay" with you" (I would like to believe that I know what the f*** I am talking about):

• Beauty/Attractiveness/Sex Appeal/Aesthetics - Tho this is blatant, I'd like to highlight the paths of beauty outside of societal norms and appreciate the subjectivity of it. Also not just to your physical appearance but exert it all around you (i.e. Home design)
• Nuturing/Supportive energy (Ride or fu**ing die)
• Loyalty (again, emphasizing the "ride or die" theme)
• *cough* "Keep his balls empty" (seriously though lol)
• "Serve" HIM (this is where conventions such as cooking & cleaning come around, but especially the more nuanced and subtle things, some examples may be: playing with his hair as he's driving & moving his hand onto your thigh, marveling at him while he is working..or if he is just BEING)
• "Be the Trinity to his Neo" Bring the God out of him. Use your feminine discernment to keep him on his feet and always growing.
• Maintain your composure and know your self-worth. (Presuming your anything close to these pointers, it would be "his loss";' a good man can INSTANTLY determine a good woman

 

I could keep going but a "Wife" will look for a husband and a Husband will look for a wife

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Twentyfirst said:

This would only work for 0.01 percent of the population 

I will not go back and forth with you on this. Men indirectly taught me how they are, not by what they said but by how I felt about what they said. Maybe you should do the same.

[Twentyfirst]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

I will not go back and forth with you on this. Men indirectly taught me how they are, not by what they said but by how I felt about what they said. Maybe you should do the same.

If I meet a woman I know if I want her or not. If I do want her then I will go after her without fear. We can have sex and babies but eventually SHE will want to get married. But at that point the man is already getting everything he needs out of the situation (sex and babies) so why would he agree to marriage?

Edited April 3 by Twentyfirst

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Dauntment said:

These super broad questions are always icky to answer in a 1-directional sense but here goes:......

I don't know what horsesh*t some people in this thread on here might say but (What I would put forth) Top Qualities that would most likely "make him want to "stay" with you" (I would like to believe that I know what the f*** I am talking about):

• Beauty/Attractiveness/Sex Appeal/Aesthetics - Tho this is blatant, I'd like to highlight the paths of beauty outside of societal norms and appreciate the subjectivity of it. Also not just to your physical appearance but exert it all around you (i.e. Home design)
• Nuturing/Supportive energy (Ride or fu**ing die)
• Loyalty (again, emphasizing the "ride or die" theme)
• *cough* "Keep his balls empty" (seriously though lol)
• "Serve" HIM (this is where conventions such as cooking & cleaning come around, but especially the more nuanced and subtle things, some examples may be: playing with his hair as he's driving & moving his hand onto your thigh, marveling at him while he is working..or if he is just BEING)
• "Be the Trinity to his Neo" Bring the God out of him. Use your feminine discernment to keep him on his feet and always growing.
• Maintain your composure and know your self-worth. (Presuming your anything close to these pointers, it would be "his loss";' a good man can INSTANTLY determine a good woman

 

I could keep going but a "Wife" will look for a husband and a Husband will look for a wife

I hesitated by asking this, but I will ask anyway. This question only has to do with the things you mentioned and nothing to do with you as a person. What is your race? You don't have to answer nor do you have to say what sex. I'm just curious as to whether my thinking is right and i will say if and after you answer. It's more of a playful thing, so don't take it out of context.

[Princess Arabia]

5 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

If I meet a woman I know if I want her or not. If I do want her then I will go after her without fear.

This is pretty much what @Emeraldwas trying to say. Nothing different with what you're saying here. She wasn't talking about marriage, per se, so the rest of your statement doesn't really apply to what we're talking about. People don't have to marry to be together forever or for a long time. 

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I think your talk here, and no disrespect to men, just keeping it real, only pertains to "real" masculine men. I noticed nothing I did or said would deter them away if they really wanted to be there, as you said and these types of men WILL NOT fall for the wrong type of woman. Bottomline. The incentive is already in her being, not something she has to do or prove. He feels he has to prove to her not the other way around. I stress, not every woman he will be like this with, only the one he TRULY wants and it doesn't take for her to do anything in particular. Maybe, not do, and he already deciphered that in his logical mind from the jump. These types of men know what they want from the beginning and it doesn't take any doing on the woman's part.

They are not players, simps, aggressive, timid not submissive, they are just men.

I'm not sure I would characterize the men I'm referring to as specifically being Masculine. Nor is it really about them rejecting a type of woman... as every woman (regardless of who it is) will have some percentage of men who feel this way for her.

I tend to be attracted to and attract men who are a mixture of Masculine and Feminine and are integrated between both poles... though leaning more towards the Masculine. Sort of an inverted mirror to myself who is mostly Feminine but somewhat Masculine too.

It's more like a sense of a man being the type of guy who's looking for a long-term relationship and wants to live his life through with a partner (who isn't that interested in hooking up with lots of women and getting validation from women)... and that this specific type of guy happens to also value me and my personality/beauty in particular. 

There are also other elements like integrity, chemistry, and compatibility that come into play.

And it's sorting out the guys who don't fit the bill to make space for the guy who does fit the bill.

And I find that there's a vibe when I can tell a guy is a match to that... which has been helpful for finding men who really value me and stick around. Out of all my past long-term relationships, I've only been broken up with once. And even with him, I know he really valued me and loved me... but the dynamic between us triggered some things in him that were emotionally untenable for him.

[actuallyenlightened]

For a girl to keep me around she'd need to:

- Be psychologically healthy
- Give me enough alone time (I'm an introvert)
- Have similar enough beliefs /  things in common
- Not do anything stupid that would make me wary of being around her

Otherwise I'll tell her we lack 'chemistry' and aren't compatible. Feels like basically the same reason why women keep men around

Edited April 3 by actuallyenlightened

[Emerald]

39 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

It seems like you think that men are like women. Everything you described applies to women not men

Incentives are crazy important. Idk how you don't see that. Laws, marriage, divorce, finance, access to sex all needs to be controlled and regulated by society. A "free for all" will end in absolute disaster and possible extinction of a species (look at declining birth rates in countries that abandoned the traditional path"

It's a woman that will crawl through the mud to be with the man. Why would the man do it for her? He can get 10 of you. Women are more replaceable than men are because men care about their mission more than their relationship. Women are concerned about the relationship. 

None of what I said is man trapping. Men WANT to stay with you but if you don't INCENTIVIZE them they will leave even if they want to stay

I promise you none of this stuff that sounds good will actually work. Women will get rekt listening to this. Single and childless and resentful. 

 

I don't think you really get what I'm saying here. I'm 35 years old, and I've been around long enough to understand. And I've never had any trouble finding men who love me and value me. And I've tried it your way when I was much younger, and it was a bad strategy.

If a man loves you... he will want to be with you. 

And no extra incentive is necessary because you will be the incentive. If a man has his heart set on you, he will crawl through the mud to help you if he absolutely has to. And he will hate the idea of you crawling the mud for him because he loves you and wants what's best for you.

And any man who wants you to crawl through the mud for him is a huge red flag that is wise to sort from consideration immediately. 

If a man doesn't love you... he will never want to be with you. And if a man sees you as just another disposable woman... he will never be happy with you and will never be the right guy. And it doesn't matter if you crawl through the mud for him... or hold your breath and jump on one leg. A man who doesn't value you that way will never value you that way. And if you crawl through the mud for him, it won't mean a thing to him.

And there is no extra incentive necessary or needed. And to try to incentivize things strategically just puts a woman in her Masculine energy trying to attract the wrong men for her.

Like if I tried to create incentives for a guy to stay with me who sees me (and women in general) as disposable and fungible and who expects me to crawl through the mud to incentivize him to stay with me... think about the terrible and unstable relationships that I would get into by attracting that sort of guy.

It's best to use the strategy of select and reject and sort someone out who is going to think like that... because he would be a low quality partner.

Instead, it's a far better strategy to recognize my value and only form a deeper romantic bond with a man who really loves and values me. That's the only necessary strategy because the wrong man will never become the right man.

[Princess Arabia]

25 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm not sure I would characterize the men I'm referring to as specifically being Masculine. Nor is it really about them rejecting a type of woman... as every woman (regardless of who it is) will have some percentage of men who feel this way for her

Yeah, I agree. While writing that, I wasn't sure that masculine was the word because they do have some feminine qualities but I just stuck with masculine to be on the safe side. The ones that came to mind, now that you're saying this I did notice them being comfortable in their feminine side. 

I didn't mean they reject a certain type of woman, they just aren't attracted from the jump. Not that every woman won't have a particular guy that will like her for her, but that each respectively will know which one that is. 

Edited April 3 by Princess Arabia

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yeah, I agree. While writing that, I wasn't sure that masculine was the word because they do have done feminine qualities but I just stuck with masculine to be on the safe side. The ones that came to mind, now that you're saying this I did notice them being comfortable in their feminine side. 

I didn't mean they reject a certain type of woman, they just aren't attracted from the jump. Not that every woman won't have a particular guy that will like her for her, but that each respectively will know which one that is. 

That makes sense. I do think there are signals that we all unconsciously send out that tend to be more or less magnetic to people with certain orientations to things like commitment. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Twentyfirst said:

It seems like you think that men are like women. Everything you described applies to women not men

This is not true. So not true. It may be believed to be so but when put to the test will fail. I'm not saying you don't believe what you're saying in your entire statement, but the relationship will not last nor will it be a healthy one. All you're saying is how you'd like for it to be but not what actually works. The only reason you'd like it to be how you're saying is because of past hurt or mistakes or for another reason but not because you have tested it to be the best type of relationship dynamic that you know to be healthy and long-lasting.

I'm referring to your entire statements from this quote and not just this quote.

[Princess Arabia]

21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It's a woman that will crawl through the mud to be with the man. Why would the man do it for her? He can get 10 of you. Women are more replaceable than men are because men care about their mission more than their relationship. Women are concerned about the relationship. 

This just sounds like something I heard that man that's popular with guys who watch dating channels, I forgot his name, he's a doctor or phychologist. Sounds like his kind of rhetoric.

What's ironic is the amount of guys on here who can't get enough of pick-up, cold-approaching talk, how to attract women, constantly asking for advice on dating and those that aren't have either given up or are working on themselves. Some even talk about moving to another city. Doesn't sound too much like replaceable and can get 10 more of the same and that you're the prize from what I gather that you're saying here.

Edited April 3 by Princess Arabia

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This just sounds like something I heard that man that's popular with guys who watch dating channels, I forgot his name, he's a doctor or phychologist. Sounds like his kind of rhetoric.

It's probably Psychhacks. It reminded me a bit of his schtick, which is all about spinning a narrative that frames men as the ones that are ACTUALLY holding all the cards in dating/relationships. And it gives men with insecurities about dating/relationships/sex/women the comforting illusion that they out-gun women in every significant way in the romantic sector. But it really just gives novocaine to a deeper feeling of shame and insecurity.

At any rate, real life doesn't actually work that way. And functional relationships don't work that way.

[Princess Arabia]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It's probably Psychhacks.

I just checked. It's him. Lol. Funny how us women can sense where a particular dating rhetoric comes from. We can tell because it doesn't sound true to the one saying it. Just like how a preacher has to shout at his congregation because he doesn't truly believe what he's preaching.

You can tell the ones who listen to dating coaches and are just parroting them, not the true coaches but the ones coming from a place of hurt and revenge.

Edited April 3 by Princess Arabia

[Bobby_2021]

If a women wants to maximize the chances of retaining a man, then be less of a hassle as you can in his life.

Make his life as peaceful as possible. Don't nag him or pester him. Dealing with many women has become insufferable. If that's the case, he will definitely leave even before you know it.

In short reduce the hassle. Increase what he likes: Be sexually available, be feminine etc.

This is the game of retention for women. But just like game for men, no game is perfect. It's just maximises your chances.

This game for women is made under the assumption that you have selected the right man for you in the first place. You don't want to retain the wrong man for sure. 

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Bobby_2021 said:

Be sexually available,

I stopped reading here. WOMEN ARE NOT SEX FUCKING SLAVES. No one has to be sexually available, man or woman. People should be having sex if and when they choose to, end of story.

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I just checked. It's him. Lol. Funny how us women can sense where a particular dating rhetoric comes from. We can tell because it doesn't sound true to the one saying it. Just like how a preacher has to shout at his congregation because he doesn't truly believe what he's preaching.

Definitely. You can tell when someone's just repeating what an influencer said.

And Psychhacks is always framing things in the way the guy writing above is talking around women having to make herself useful to the guy and how men have all the options.

I can see how that would be comforting for a man who feels disempowered in his dating life and feels like women hold all the cards as it presents a narrative that turns the tables and presents men as the selectors/rejectors and women as the ones that are contending for male approval.

The problem there is that flipping the Masculine/Feminine dynamic from male lover wooing a female beloved over to female lover wooing a male beloved creates structurally unsound relationships where the woman is trying to win over the wrong guy and the wrong guy is just receiving what she's giving (when men don't fall in love by being given to).

And this creates a particularly unstable kind of relationship where the woman is over-activated and feels unsafe and the man is detached and uninterested. It's a terrible environment to raise children in because it's an insecure dynamic.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

(when men don't fall in love by being given to).

Hit the nail on the head here. Most guys who don't understand this are the ones that are like the ones you described above. This is why women who do this end up being left for the woman he can work for and provide for. Men need this dynamic to feel masculine. 

[Bobby_2021]

What you guys don't get is that Love takes physical forms.

Love takes the form of sex, food, attention, emotional attachment etc. Men want love in the form of sex whilst women may want it in the form of money or attention.

For a broke women money is love for her. So it's okay for her to seek love in the form of money. Is it the husband's responsibility to provide? No, but your lady will perceive it as love, incase that's what she is looking for. 

Love for women comes in the form of attention, feeling of safety being etc. Does it always have to be the case for all women? No. Different people look for love in different ways.

If you can seperate sex from love, then don't blame men when goes looking for sex somewhere else. He is looking for love. If he can't get it from his woman, then some other women will give it to him. 

In this day and age, no one is forced or should be forced to give anything. None of which I said implies anything of that sort.

Anyways make up your own mind.