Why Men Are Attracted To Hot Women

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia True but there are many factors where it can be louder but 9/10 its just silent happening

@Sugarcoat I cant speak for a woman but its more mental than physical with a woman, so you imagining things is creating more pleasure,you being more comfortable,more open,more mentaly stimulated, so if you nervous,worried,cant let go, then it wont be intense as it should be, again its job of a man to make you feel comfortable mentally..

[BlueOak]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

I went a little beyond biological.

We can talk about energetic, psychological, or cultural triggers as well.

I do feel energetic connections matter perhaps the most to me, but I am not sure everyone is that way. If someone has a good energy about them, that draws me in.

That in no small part comes from the design of earth, and the cosmos. We are often attracted to the pieces of ourselves that we want to experience in our life, or sex in this instance. It's the same universally, two things are drawn together, connecting with something in the other.

[Sugarcoat]

11 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

This makes a lot of sense. You just explained why certain porn gets me more excited than others. I always wondered why but never delved deep - who does that when they're doing whatever they're doing, right. By the time it's over, who cares. Lol. I didn't even realize I was doing that until you said this. Looking back, and remembering what was exciting about it was the fact that he was so excited and that is a turn-on.

Yes 

 

I have wondered about this. 
 

I started watching porn at a very young age and very quickly started to imagine it from male perspective and no matter how hard I tried I could never feel the same horniness by focusing on the females pov.  It is literally like you are stepping into the man’s shoes , and that is weird because im not a man so I can’t know how excited he feels but it’s almost like I could genuinely know. 
 

I wondered to myself , maybe it’s because the porn is made in such a way that it’s always filmed from the males pov. So it’s conditioning my mind 

 

I used to think this. But the thing is that I haven’t watched porn for several years so it’s long gone from my mind I’m not really affected by much outside myself at all

 

but still to this day, when I have wet dreams at night for example  and it happens occasionally, it is ALWAYS from the male pov. And it’s a bit mystery to me

 

thats why I thogit maybe men genuinely have the capacity to experience more intense degrees of horny and here I mean the horniness itself the excitement not the psychical sensation. And I somehow sense this idk . So I asked maybe Leo had down research and would know 

Edited March 31 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

7 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Princess Arabia True but there are many factors where it can be louder but 9/10 its just silent happening

@Sugarcoat I cant speak for a woman but its more mental than physical with a woman, so you imagining things is creating more pleasure,you being more comfortable,more open,more mentaly stimulated, so if you nervous,worried,cant let go, then it wont be intense as it should be, again its job of a man to make you feel comfortable mentally..

I can see

[Lucasxp64]

Princess Arabia, I agree with you from a spiritual point of view. Not just woman, but any other object of desire.

Each individual can produce their own internal sets of desires, that might be complementary or conflicting.

But specifically when it comes to this chase towards hotter and hotter woman, for me personally, at this stage in life, I'm looking to merely get out of my cave and get experience towards at least approaching gorgeous woman that I thought were out of my league, or girls that are at my "level", which I kinda struggle to differentiate...

This idea of hotter and hotter is very specific to each individual. If I found now a girl with a nice face that I can just stare at her all day long and not ever get tired of it, and she lives at walking distance and would let me join her place, that would be amazing for love-making, which, let's be frank, it requires a place to happen. It requires logistics, actually meting our bodies.

So, when it comes to all of this struggle of acquiring mates, and how much effort and energy goes it into... Aiming for the best out of the best we would find personally acceptable is reasonable.

But personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to break up with a 7/10 for an 8/10, I like the feeling of a committed relationship, emotionally. I'd feel bad letting her down, telling her I love her, to dump such a reasonably good girl that easily for no reason.

But I was burned before with this. I know what happens. So, I have to always have an edge and consider the practicality, the reality,  the messiness of dealing with fallible people. And, if I happen to have a higher value in society, her position with me might feel much less solid. Just like if a model-looking guy did hit on her, I know she would be considering as well.

And I don't mean just physical. Like I said, after a certain point, for me differences a blurry in attractiveness because I tend to be very emotional about woman.

That also means, I could find girls that are an even greater match with me if I feel like she lacks something.

---

What I just said sounds much more what a woman would say, they tend to be more emotional.

But I'd say some woman would say stuff like: "I care more about our connection" that's because, she has abundance with 7+/10s guys that are way above average. And she will say "oh, but looks don't matter as much".

Like I said, for me there is a certain level, that above that I START TO QUESTION the validity of going for hotter and hotter.

But I won't lie, if I could, I'd have 10s lined up for me, that are both emotionally and sexually compatible with me and I would have like a whole polygamous family with many girls, and we would love each other deeply, and we could have adventures bringing girls in and having orgies together with them.

This is the same, as women wanting a billionaire that has a private Boing 747, but never quite reaching it, so they go lower.

Edited March 31 by Lucasxp64

[Schizophonia]

41 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yes 

 

I have wondered about this. 
 

I started watching porn at a very young age and very quickly started to imagine it from male perspective and no matter how hard I tried I could never feel the same horniness by focusing on the females pov.  It is literally like you are stepping into the man’s shoes , and that is weird because im not a man so I can’t know how excited he feels but it’s almost like I could genuinely know. 
 

I wondered to myself , maybe it’s because the porn is made in such a way that it’s always filmed from the males pov. So it’s conditioning my mind 

 

I used to think this. But the thing is that I haven’t watched porn for several years so it’s long gone from my mind I’m not really affected by much outside myself at all

 

but still to this day, when I have wet dreams at night for example  and it happens occasionally, it is ALWAYS from the male pov. And it’s a bit mystery to me

 

thats why I thogit maybe men genuinely have the capacity to experience more intense degrees of horny and here I mean the horniness itself the excitement not the psychical sensation. And I somehow sense this idk . So I asked maybe Leo had down research and would know 

What does the energy look like?

 

Edited March 31 by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

What does the energy look like?

 

What do you mean?

[Schizophonia]

13 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

What do you mean?

There are several types of sexual arousal, which vary from person to person.
If I take magic mushrooms or DMT, I start writing like you (a little dry, very measured) and my sexual excitement is more tender/sensual/round/green/endogamic.
@Asia P also has the same writing style, and the vibe of opulence with its hippie libertine thing.

But if I'm chronically stressed/angry, or take a highly dopaminergic drug (LSD, cathione), my sexual energy is much more aggressive/electric/magenta/taboo/dirty/magenta/copper/bzzzzz and generally I become (in everyday life) more hypomanic, aggressive, workaholic...
I don't have fantasies where I imagine myself being a woman lol, but in this situation I sometimes have fantasies where I'm the one who serves, like allowing a child or something like that, sometimes racist fantasies in any logic...
Otherwise I'm a bit in between.

Edited March 31 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

This makes a lot of sense. You just explained why certain porn gets me more excited than others. I always wondered why but never delved deep - who does that when they're doing whatever they're doing, right. By the time it's over, who cares. Lol. I didn't even realize I was doing that until you said this. Looking back, and remembering what was exciting about it was the fact that he was so excited and that is a turn-on.

"Black dominatrix pov"

[Princess Arabia]

48 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

"Black dominatrix pov"

Nah, I'm not into dominatrix stuff. I like kissing, massages, playing with each other manually or otherwise. Normal stuff but in a fun flirty way. I kinda like a little tying up with the right partner, though, but only as a once in awhile thing just to do something different. You seem to think I'm a dominatrix. It's actually not a turn on for me.

 

 

[mmKay]

We already dissected the topic to death, not to toot my own horn here. I challenge you to find a perspective it doesn't cover on the topic 

 

Edited March 31 by mmKay

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, mmKay said:

We already dissected the topic to death, not to toot my own horn here

 

That one sentence right there in the middle sums it all up🤣 

case closed 👍🏻

 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

Princess Arabia, I agree with you from a spiritual point of view. Not just woman, but any other object of desire.

When I was about to make this thread, I was thinking it would go well both here and in the Spiritual section, but I decided to put it here because of the title. I agree, this is more on a Spiritual level. I got the insight from listening to Barry Long talking about love and attraction even though he wasn't referring to my specific post but the logistics of sex and how it works on a Spiritual level. What I wrote is just from my own intuition and backed by what I know about who or what we are Reality and the nature of the illusion - so to speak.

 

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

Each individual can produce their own internal sets of desires, that might be complementary or conflicting.

The individual isn't really choosing or producing their desires, it's just what seems to occur and they tend to own it and try to act on it thinking it's them that are doing this. This is just occurring from a need to fulfill something they think is lacking in the form of a desired hot girl, in this case.

 

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

But specifically when it comes to this chase towards hotter and hotter woman, for me personally, at this stage in life, I'm looking to merely get out of my cave and get experience towards at least approaching gorgeous woman that I thought were out of my league, or girls that are at my "level", which I kinda struggle to differentiate..

The out-of-league thing is you seeing yourself a certain way that has to do with how well you think you can satisfy her and a need in you to fulfill that. Nothing to do with her value. All about you and your perception of yourself.

 

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

This idea of hotter and hotter is very specific to each individual. If I found now a girl with a nice face that I can just stare at her all day long and not ever get tired of it, and she lives at walking distance and would let me join her place, that would be amazing for love-making, which, let's be frank, it requires a place to happen. It requires logistics, actually meting our bodies.

I was not surprised when you mentioned nice face and love-making in the same sentence. Why? Because staring at her beautiful face you see the beauty that you are and that will make you want to "make love" instead of just having sex and fucking. A nice body is good but a guy that sees a pretty girl will more likely want to cherish her and not bang her up like a meat mallet pounding a piece if meat. (Nothing wrong with that, just saying).

This is why I can do what I do without having sex because the guys that approach me sees my face first and always say I have a pretty face and don't really care to have that kind of sex as much as maybe another girl whose body is screaming c'mon fuck me. I also have a nice body, but it's not screaming come fuck me, it's saying come make love to it because of my proportions. No big huge tits nor huge ass, just all aligned. This may sound a bit weird but you'll be surprised how this works. I've seen it and witnessed how guys treat certain girls over certain ones. I don't attract the "I wanna fuck you" guys, but the sensual ones who are more into pleasing women which can entail just talking and staring at me at first then doing whatever I like to do. Not saying either way, but more so. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Lucasxp64 said:

This is the same, as women wanting a billionaire that has a private Boing 747, but never quite reaching it, so they go lower.

This is true. A guy chasing hot girls is pretty much equivalent to women chasing status. But of course, the guys will criticize the woman for that; and that's ok because he's just being biased and ignorant to his own biases. He thinks a woman should just want him for being him but he won't want an ugly girl for being her. It's all good. Name of the game.

[Princess Arabia]

30 minutes ago, mmKay said:

We already dissected the topic to death, not to toot my own horn here. I challenge you to find a perspective it doesn't cover on the topic 

 

I remember this lovely thread. Very good points and findings but like I said I wasn't really coming from a biological or evolutionary stand point, but more from a Spiritual view. Even using the word Spiritual isn't even so, but close enough. Maybe existential or metaphysical. 

[Javfly33]

12 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

No. Sorry to break it to you. You think it's you and your tilly willy, but that's not what's happening. Women don't go around saying, "ooh, I'd love to fuck him". Even if she does, it's a different meaning than when men say it about women,

 

@Princess Arabia I find interesting what you are saying. What you mean with 'the need to fulfil that longing'?

11 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yeah, they do, but what they really mean is. I'd love for him to want to fuck me. 

interesting...

[BlueOak]

9 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

That one sentence right there in the middle sums it all up🤣 

case closed 👍🏻

You've never been attracted to someone in baggy clothes? Where their figure is hidden?

I've found myself staring without thinking many times that's biological, so i'm not disagreeing with what you are saying, but i've fallen in love with minds/creativity, and energy before as well where their body was not visible. 

I mean how many people here have fallen for a girl at work who was dressed in the ugliest uniform imaginable?

Edited April 1 by BlueOak

[Nemra]

@Princess Arabia

When looking at a man or an image of and imagining the things you are attracted to by men (to be wanted, etc.), wouldn't that make you horny? It's all about how strong your imagination is, imo.

[TheAlchemist]

@Princess Arabia very interesting perspective there. So the mans sexual attraction is based on a more direct desire for the woman, whereas the womans sexual attraction is based on the mans desire for her, the tension that exists between the man and herself? The desiring itself being a kind of intangible, ethereal "object"

So the man is "turned on" by the beauty and existence of the woman and is identified fully as his body. The woman is turned on by the man being "turned on due to her. So she is in some sense looking at the whole interaction from a kind of meta perspective, and experiencing the excitement from the tension between the man and the woman, perhaps not totally identifying with the woman part, but seeing the interaction between the two as a whole, and then channeling/experiencing that excitment through her body.

Lmk if I'm interpreting your point here correctly, there's some interesting parallels in psychoanalytic theory to support these views too..

Also, clearly it's the case that not every man that is turned on by the woman will sexually excite the woman. So there needs to be some level of pre-existing attraction towards the man so that this sexual attraction can be unleashed. Is this what you would call attraction as opposed to sexual excitement? If there exist a certain level of attraction (non-sexual) towards the man, then the mans expression/display of excitement toward the woman can unleash the womans excitement too? 

 

 

Edited April 1 by TheAlchemist

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, BlueOak said:

You've never been attracted to someone in baggy clothes? Where their figure is hidden?

I've found myself staring without thinking many times that's biological, so i'm not disagreeing with what you are saying, but i've fallen in love with minds/creativity, and energy before as well where their body was not visible. 

I mean how many people here have fallen for a girl at work who was dressed in the ugliest uniform imaginable?

I was joking