Should I Go To A Meditation Retreat? (scared)

[onacloudynight]

I really want to go on a meditation retreat! I am just afraid that all the kundalini phenomenon that has been happening to me will disrupt other meditators, as I am sure screaming at the top of your lungs would be unacceptable in a retreat environment lol. Should I just do a retreat at home? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am currently HIGHLY motivated to deepen my meditation practice

[Prabhaker]

4 minutes ago, onacloudynight said:

I am just afraid that all the kundalini phenomenon that has been happening to me will disrupt other meditators

It can happen to other meditators too, don't resist , every meditator has to pass through catharsis. Many emotions are suppressed: they are uncoiling, they are coming up, bubbling up. And after the screaming you feel relieved, as if a burden has disappeared. You feel weightless; you feel more at ease, calmed down, slowed down. 

If you don't want to disturb others , you can do it at home, or at an isolated place. Learn catharsis. 

Watch this video at 2.30

 

[onacloudynight]

@Prabhaker Lol love the video. Sounds like the perfect environment for me.

[egoeimai]

No,let me tell you YOU SHOULD GO. face that fear! Face it! Im about to spend some time the next 2-3 days with some people who are very judgemental and I wake up this morning having undecisive thoughts. You should go you must do the thing that scares you. Otherwise,you wont be able to be at peace with your emotions! Im going to face some super awkward situations and Im scared too,but that doesnt say anything..its only in your mind. You might go and have a great time! It is always a great time! That is the way to go! 

Edited April 15, 2017 by egoeimai

[onacloudynight]

@egoeimai Well it's more like I don't know if it's allowed. I don't want to be asked to leave. I would be going to a Goenka vipassana retreat, so I don't know if this behavior is common or not. I got kicked out of college for acting like that lol. I am just a little hesitant.

[onacloudynight]

6 minutes ago, Outer said:

Yes, screaming on top of your lunges in a Vipassana retreat is not normal, if you have problems with impulses and unable to control yourself then it will be very useful for you to learn and practice meditation, like vipassana or anapana (which you do on the first 3 days), the changes in brain structure is useful in this regard. You are not the only consciousness on this planet.

 

I have currently practiced both of those techniques for a year and a half now. It seems that either I am insane or I am having intense kundalini experiences because there are times when I am unable to behave appropriately. I feel like another entity is controlling my behavior. I wish I knew if I had a psychological disorder or not, I would rather it be the latter though.

[SOUL]

When drumming at a drum circle I have found a well timed howl kicks up the intensity a notch and can set off e frenzy that creates a literal buzz in the air.

[onacloudynight]

This shit is so crazy lol. I have these urges to go into the forest and run on all fours and scream. It's like I am a tiger and it pleases my mind when I speak about these urges. It feels like it is the most "authentic" way to act in that moment. It produces a ton of euphoria. I also have been having fantasies of ravaging other people. I feel like a psychotic psychopath haha. Typing that sentence I noticed pleasure arising in my abdomen. Maybe I am a genuinely fucked up human being. I oddly don't feel concerned about any of this.

[Toby]

When you are on kundalini symptoms it is not the right time to do a retreat.