Good video about Hypergamy by Owen Cook

[Consept]

Good vid for all you guys complaining about hypergamy 

 

 

 

[Phil King]

Yes this was a great video. People need to stop complaining and just always look to add value/become valuable in any situation.

[Jason Actualization]

1 hour ago, Phil King said:

Yes this was a great video. People need to stop complaining and just always look to add value/become valuable in any situation.

Bingo. See reality as it is, and not through the illusion you wish it were, while moreover embracing a proper understanding of social dynamics without becoming cynical.

[mr_engineer]

What he means by 'frame', is actually ideology. You have to have a self-serving ideology in which 'you're a 10'. Some will call this grandiose narcissism. I think it's fine to think that you're the shit as long as your rationale is grounded in reality. Cuz there is a danger of buying your own BS with this frame-stuff (or at least, the way they're defining 'frame'). 

Now, about the RAS-flip - this will happen with 'good girls', or girls who could earn the approval of their fathers. Is this a problem? Yes, it is irrational and biased to only pay attention to the 3% where someone messes up and not to the 97% where they do well. We can all agree on that. The question is - why do they do this? 

Before I give my answer, I will talk about Owen's rationalization for it. He's saying that 'it's a defense-mechanism to stop them from getting impregnated by a 'beta-male''. The question, though, is - what is a 'beta-male'?! If you can just decide to be an 'alpha', in your mind, you're the 'alpha'. But then, why is she deciding that you're the 'beta' and why is she flipping on you the moment you lose frame? 

This is not something that should obviously happen with all women. Because, some women are smart! Some women are rational, they can weigh the facts and make a rational decision and give some margin for error. So, what kind of woman will this happen with? And why? 

This will happen with 'good girls'. Their father 'held frame' in a certain way for them. So, now, when you 'hold frame' like that for them, they will be attracted to that. Now, here's the thing - the way they related to their fathers, is that they earned his approval and he gave it to them. And, in the process of earning his approval, they gave up certain aspects of themselves, that would have been disapproved of! They hold this resentment towards their fathers, it's a daddy-issue. But, they can't confront their fathers on this, because the father is going to tell them how many sacrifices he made to raise them and how his morality is actually a 'hard-learned lesson of his life', they can't win this argument with their fathers. Now, in the situation with you, when you 'break frame', they're going to perceive it as you not making those sacrifices that their father made to keep frame! So, their resentment towards their father will show up in that moment and will make them rationalize it as 'If he isn't making this sacrifice for me, why should I make these sacrifices?! Let's bias ourselves against him and rebel against him and do the RAS-flip!!' That's why they do the RAS-flip in that specific situation. 

Edited March 25 by mr_engineer

[Consept]

@mr_engineer so you're saying you shouldn't follow his advice? Or that it rarely works, im not getting your overall point

[mr_engineer]

6 hours ago, Consept said:

@mr_engineer so you're saying you shouldn't follow his advice? Or that it rarely works, im not getting your overall point

I'm saying that there can be better definitions for 'frame' than what he's describing and that if we hold onto this definition of 'frame', we can only get a 'good girl', who is essentially a 'yes-man'. Feminists will say that you're 'toxically masculine' and 'good girls' will think that you have 'strong frame', until the day you make a mistake. Then the RAS-flip will happen and all bets are off when it comes to the future of the relationship. 

In order to come up with a better definition of 'frame', first, you have to figure out what you have to offer to women. Meaning, which love-language can you speak! Then, you can hold 'frame' in that love-language. And secondly, you have to understand why women are looking for a man with 'strong frame'. The reason for that is that they feel unsafe in the world and they need a man to protect them. Now that you know this, you can come up with a definition of 'frame' that falls within your love-language! So, if it's words of affirmation, then it makes sense to be ideological in your 'frame'. If it's quality-time, then the way you hold frame, is by giving her focused presence. If it's physical-touch, then maybe the way you hold frame is by giving a hug or cuddling. If it's gifts, then the way you hold frame is by having shared experiences and then gifting her a memento of that experience. If it's acts of service, then the way you hold frame is by working on something together and leading that team-project. 

[Leo Gura]

Yeah, this is Owen at his best. Owen is great at reframing things.

Edited March 26 by Leo Gura

[Consept]

24 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I'm saying that there can be better definitions for 'frame' than what he's describing and that if we hold onto this definition of 'frame', we can only get a 'good girl', who is essentially a 'yes-man'. Feminists will say that you're 'toxically masculine' and 'good girls' will think that you have 'strong frame', until the day you make a mistake. Then the RAS-flip will happen and all bets are off when it comes to the future of the relationship. 

I think you missed the point of the video, but I'm not interested in a back and forth. I think his definition of frame can be exceptionally helpful for those that are complaining about frame. Obviously if it doesn't work for you and yours does then go with that. 

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yeah, this Owen at his best. Owen is great at reframing things.

Autism at its best 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Autism at its best 

I would not chalk that up to autism.

[k-ahmadzadeh]

22 hours ago, Consept said:

Good vid for all you guys complaining about hypergamy 

 

 

 

By listening to the whole dating advice staff, I only get the sense that the situation is hopeless for me and everything is out of my control except gym staff. He talks like as if everything is under the our control so that we can push a button and the thing we want will immediately happen. I would say that those dating advices can work for people who have right genes. Listening to this staff reminds me how I am unable to do these magical shits. 

Edited March 26 by k-ahmadzadeh

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, k-ahmadzadeh said:

By listening to the whole dating advice staff, I only get the sense that the situation is hopeless for me and everything is out of my control except gym staff. He talks like as if everything is under the our control so that we can push a button and the thing we want will immediately happen. I would say that those dating advices can work for people who have right genes. Listening to this staff reminds me how I am unable to do these magical shits. 

The beauitful thing about Owen is how hard he had to work to reach his level of mastery. The reason Owen is so appealing is because he's not good-looking and he was a depressed hardcase newbie. He acheived a lot through sheer effort. Owen doesn't teach that you will push a button and get success with girls. He tells you to work hard for it.

There is nothing magical about going out consistently every weekend. It's a grind.

A lot is out of your control but you can move to a big city and start going out every weekend and talking to girls.

Edited March 26 by Leo Gura

[StarStruck]

Social skill is like a training a muscle. It is not about hard work alone. You have to be smart about it in the same way a good body builder is. I have an ok physique but I didn’t even have to work hard for it. Just do minimal amount of compound exercises and over time it will pay off. Compound effect is king. 

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

It is not about hard work alone.

Hard work does not mean stupid work. It means both smart and hard.

You will not get good with girls by some lazy half-asssed means. Not unless you are already good with girls.

Edited March 26 by Leo Gura

[OBEler]

I watched it. I thought Owen Cook is just ranting again and screaming around. Are there other good per

Owen cook videos out there? I just watched randomly and rarely his videos touched my interest but this one is gold.

[Leo Gura]

Owen has many good videos. Especially the old ones which he deleted.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Hard work does not mean stupid work. It means both smart and hard.

You will not get good with girls by some lazy half-asssed means. Not unless you are already good with girls.

Ok, different strokes for different folks. For me going out for a social night like it is a battle just doesn´t work. They can sense I´m overcompensating or something. Greatest pitfall for me is to shut my logical brain off. Sometimes I´m seeing girls talkign about random stuff and I´m thinking like wtf. I wish I could just shut my logical brain off like her.

Edited March 26 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

For me going out for a social night like it is a battle just doesn´t work.

Of course. You gotta make it enjoyable for yourself.

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura yeah too bad...why in the hell he deleted them..to talk about these topics again for the new generation?

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, OBEler said:

why in the hell he deleted them

He was forced to. YouTube would have banned him.

He lost his whole company from JulienGate.

You guys don't understand how badly that hurt him. It's like he lost his baby.

Edited March 26 by Leo Gura