Losing My Faith in The Existence Of God

[SQAAD]

For five years, I've been on a journey exploring spirituality. I used to not believe in anything beyond what science could explain, but then I found Leo & he talked about some really interesting ideas, like how there is not a 'self' controlling everything inside us. He also talked about using psychedelics to explore the mind and Reality.

Trying mushrooms changed everything for me. It made me realize there's more to reality than just what materialism teaches..

I started meditating & tripping and having these amazing Enlightnment experiences, even connecting deeply with God a couple of times.

But when I'm not in a spiritual state, I'm not sure if what i experience is God. I believe it's God but i can't know for sure in this current state.

Lately, I've been through some really hellish, horrible & nonsensical experiences that have made me question whether God even exists. It feels like suffering has no reason at all & it's completely senseless & d*mb, and it's hard to see any purpose in it. Why would a wise, all-knowing God let that happen?

Why would God let people suffer enormously (rape, torture, crappy situations, health-problems, suicide) for no apparent reason at all?

It's not my problem that God allows suffering. My problem is that God allows senseless, Nonsensical suffering that seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. Sort of the suffering you would expect a d*mn mechanical Universe to generate. Suffering that doesn't stop & makes you wanna tear everything to pieces & end your life.

It also bothers me that most people (not to mention all the other animals) never get to experience or understand God. And it's not great at all that I only feel close to God when I'm on drugs &  i am always confined in this very limited, stupid state.

All this seems very depressing and has made feel disillusioned with Leo's work. Nothing makes sense anymore.

 

 

Edited March 23 by SQAAD

[nhoktinvt]

be on mushroom all the time or change your human bassline state of consciousness (working on your mindset)

 

[Breakingthewall]

@SQAAD  

Would you agree that reality exists, right? Well, this is what it is, forget about God and why things are the way they are, just delve into what exists. empty your mind completely and merge with reality, be one with it. open yourself to what is and see as deep as you can, there is not another possibility. 

[Thought Art]

Good. Lose all faith. 
 

Fuck faith in God!!!!!

[Vladimir]

@SQAAD There is a purpose in absolutely everything, including all suffering. All suffering is for the sake of Love. There are no mistakes in the Universe, the Universe is absolute flawless perfection. 

[Thought Art]

God is beyond Faith

[Thought Art]

Remember there are times of confusion and darkness and that it is okay to take breaks when you need to. 
 

Stay safe guys. We love you. 

[Ishanga]

@SQAAD The God as described in the Bible, does not exist, and if it does then I want nothing to do with it, as You said how could a "Loving" God allow all the suffering that is going on and has been for 1000's of years, and for what? 

The Suffering that is and has happened is a consequence, of a very high lack of Consciousness/Awareness of what Life is and the nature of it, its as simple as that.. Ppl do not see and perceive themselves in others, this is the fundamental of what Love is, and because of that, most everyone they see is like a piece of Meat, to be used and discarded.

When One has a basic level of Consciousness, they have natural Peace, and see how they are connected to most everything else, especially other Humans, there are no "Others" in a sense, other bodies and minds yes, but not Life itself! 

[UnbornTao]

Good. Set those beliefs aside, they're ultimately hearsay, pointers at best.

You seem to be pointing out a common dynamic with students – getting disappointed with the teachings after some time, based on the sense that it might all be "bullshit", that it might not be true. This sense is based on the recognition that what you had about the work was essentially conceptual and believed, therefore their reality hasn't been yet directly experienced and verified.

Now the real work of going after what's true can begin. Question, wonder, contemplate.

Edited March 23 by UnbornTao

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, SQAAD said:

Lately, I've been through some really hellish, horrible & nonsensical experiences that have made me question whether God even exists. It feels like suffering has no reason at all & it's completely senseless & d*mb, and it's hard to see any purpose in it. Why would a wise, all-knowing God let that happen?

1 hour ago, Vladimir said:

@SQAAD 

The spirituality, when they say you things like: god is good, god is imagining you, good is love, could be interesting to grasp your attention and make yourself immerse in spirituality, but when you already are in it, all of that is toxic. Any meaning is pure toxicity, you have to forget all of them, until your mind is totally clean, then you can start to perceive 

[Davino]

God is existence itself. God is this moment, this experience and everything that is going on.

But this isn't about God.

You are suffering and that changes your state. You have discovered God in a particular state and in a particular way. I don't know what you are going through but I'm sure it's no easy. Hopefully you can handle that and get back on track with your Awakenings and God Realizations. Take care, if you need help you can find advice and support in the forum as well as with your family and friends.

[Someone here]

4 hours ago, SQAAD said:

Lately, I've been through some really hellish, horrible & nonsensical experiences that have made me question whether God even exists. It feels like suffering has no reason at all & it's completely senseless & d*mb, and it's hard to see any purpose in it. Why would a wise, all-knowing God let that happen?

Why would God let people suffer enormously (rape, torture, crappy situations, health-problems, suicide) for no apparent reason at all?

When you see God ask him .

[Princess Arabia]

I want to cry reading this post. Hang in there. You will come out of this okay. You will. Strip yourself of all your beliefs now and just know you will be ok no matter what. Put your hand on your heart. Feel it beating. Know there's a life force powering through you. It is always with you no matter what. Forget about all teachings now. Move to that which is. The presence within you that never changes. Move to it. Acknowledge it with all your heart and it will acknowledge you back. Don't beg, don't plea, don't ask, just acknowledge it's presence. Surrender to it and know that you are ok no matter the outer circumstances.

You will see a shift. You will know eventually what I'm saying if you keep it there. No doubts from you because the mind will go there. If you find the mind doubting, let it be and don't acknowledge it. Go back to the heart, that's truth, the mind is all fabrications. Allow yourself the space between where you are now and where you will be. You are already there but you have to not acknowledge the fears and doubts and all the negative emotions that are arising. See them for what they are but don't identify with them. Don't try to push them away either. See them as a person at the door that you know is there but you refuse to open the door. They'll eventually go away to allow for presence to shine through. 

We all love you here and reach out to anyone if you feel the need to as how you made this post. This is the start. This post is the beginning of the shift and you will see and feel this shift soon. Just don't let the mind get a whole of you during this time. Allow it to rant and rave but don't energize it just let it be. 

 

[Jowblob]

Reading your post and your previous posts i can truely say that you lack consciousness and understanding about the nature of reality or yourself.

You're crying because you don't understand why you have awareness, and all suffering will be ever lasting no matter where you will be from that awareness. Learn to sleep properly, that's why you are here.

Edited March 24 by Jowblob

[abrakamowse]

@SQAAD  If you don't believe there's a god, then you don't believe that you exist.

God is not something separated, it is you.

"I and the father are one"

[Thought Art]

Simply look at your hands

[Leo Gura]

@SQAAD Why do you hold that suffering is senseless?

Obviously suffering is a mechanism that living beings need to stay alive. So it's full of sense. Just because you can get trapped into a horrific situation doesn't make the suffering senseless. Its point is to help you avoid those situations.

The reality is that survival is a brutal game and most organisms simply get crushed in the process. Human society has created an illusory bubble of safety within that larger dynamic. And that bubble can pop at any moment.

The truth is that your life has always hung by a thread. But humans have become so comfortable and complacent that they take it for granted how difficult survival has always been.

A meteor can crash into your house any day and wipe you out. That's the reality of life. God can't help you with that.

Edited March 24 by Leo Gura

[Thought Art]

As you awaken you may be able to extend your idea of self and expand your understanding of love, beauty, and variety of experience to embrace suffering. By embracing suffering you open the possibility for the deepest forms of love. 
 

Suffering has been instrumental in my life to become who I am now and who I may be. 
 

You exist unconditionally. You’ll have ups and downs. You’ll live and die. You’ve been doing this for eternity. But, you don’t remember. 
 

Relax, enjoy and forget the suffering. 
 

The deepest forms of love for a human is to love the suffering to death.

Lookout kid, trust your heart
You don't have to play the part they wrote for you
Just be true
There are things that you could do
That no one else on earth could ever do
But I can't teach you, I can't teach it to you

Lookout kid, trust your mind
But you can't trust it everytime
You know it plays tricks on you
And it don't give a damn if you are happy or you're sad
But if you've lost it, don't feel bad
'Cause it's alright to be sad

Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do

Lookout kid, trust your body
You can dance, and you can shake
Things will break, you make mistakes
You lose your friends, again and again
'Cause nothing is ever perfect
No one's perfect
Let me say it again, no one's perfect
Right

A lifetime of skinned knees
And heartbreak comes so easy
But a life without pain would be boring

And if you feel it, it's fine
I give you everything that's mine
I give you my heart and my precious time

Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do, do-do, do-do-do-do-do

Lookout kid, trust your soul
It ain't hard to rock n' roll
You know how to move your hips
And you know God is cool with it
But some people want the rock without the roll
But we all know, there's no God without soul
Right

A lifetime of skinned knees
And heartbreak comes so easily
But a life without you
Would be boring for someone like me

And if you feel it, it's fine
I give you everything that's mine
I give you my heart and my precious time
(Precious time)
(Give you everything)
I give you my heart and my precious time

Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do, do-do, do-do-do-do-do

Unconditional
It's unconditional
It's unconditional
No matter what you do
It's unconditional (unconditional)
It's unconditional (unconditional)
Unconditonal (no matter what you do)
It's unconditional (unconditional)

Edited March 24 by Thought Art

[SQAAD]

@Breakingthewall

12 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@SQAAD  

Would you agree that reality exists, right? Well, this is what it is, forget about God and why things are the way they are, just delve into what exists. empty your mind completely and merge with reality, be one with it. open yourself to what is and see as deep as you can, there is not another possibility. 

That's good advice. Thank you.

[SQAAD]

@Vladimir

12 hours ago, Vladimir said:

@SQAAD There is a purpose in absolutely everything, including all suffering. All suffering is for the sake of Love. There are no mistakes in the Universe, the Universe is absolute flawless perfection. 

There are times of my life where that was my direct experience & everything made sense. But always some sh*t would happen that would turn my life upside down and leave me totally confused and directionless.