How to stay loving while being strict

[Jannes]

So this is a big obstacle for me right now. I job as a substitute teacher and probably my biggest weakness is that I am too nice. I am gullible when students mention a concern, I have problems putting students in their place, I have problems punishing wrong behavior (today I wanted to subtract a note from a student who cheated instead of giving him a bad note). 

At an existential level somehow I connected niceness with survival I am pretty sure. And I feel like I am in the process of unwrapping it but it feels scary as hell. I am just scared that in this process I am going to flood away the loving part as well. Like when you do a colonic irrigation you dont just flood away the bad bacteria but also the good. 

In general if some of you went through the same I would be very thankful for responses. 

[Schizophonia]

Simply fire non-quiet/polite students.

 

[Davino]

 

 

[Davino]

@Michael569 That was insightful

Edited March 21, 2024 by Davino

[UnbornTao]

In short, be what's needed. A teacher is there primarily to facilitate learning. What works best for that purpose in any given situation?

In retrospect, we might find that the uncompromising teachers were the effective ones, the ones from whom we learned the most; their main service was to our learning rather than to our immediate desires and preferences.

Contemplate what makes an effective teacher and become that.

Edited March 21, 2024 by UnbornTao

[Jannes]

22 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Simply fire non-quiet/polite students.

Not enough lol

 

[Jannes]

@Michael569 thanks that was a lot of good stuff. 

Unfortunately I only have each class 1 hour a week, there is no way a deeper connection can be formed. And as it is it's too loud to teach. I have tons of good ideas but I cant really teach them. It's really bad. I feel like a looser. I started with no experience so it's not all my fault. I never acted authoritarian in my whole life probably. But much has to do with my insecurities as well. As it is I probably need to ask for support. 

The second option that you mentioned sounds dreamy. Something too look up to. 

[Jannes]

1 hour ago, UnbornTao said:

Be what's needed. A teacher is there primarily to facilitate learning. What works best for that purpose in any given time?

In retrospect, we might find that the uncompromising teachers were the effective ones, the ones from whom we learned the most; their main service was to our learning rather than to our immediate desires and preferences.

Contemplate what makes an effective teacher and become that.

True.