Do I have a damaged central nervous system?

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, ZenAlex said:

These were taken end of january 2024.

 

 

 

These were done in november 2023

FSH is strangely low, how are your ejaculations?
When I was exhausted from insomnia, my testosterone was still high and my LH normal, but my teticles were smaller and my ejaculations were quite low.
I suppose that in cases of chronic exhaustion, the body preserves steroidogenesis but greatly reduces spermatogenesis.

[ZenAlex]

57 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

FSH is strangely low, how are your ejaculations?
When I was exhausted from insomnia, my testosterone was still high and my LH normal, but my teticles were smaller and my ejaculations were quite low.
I suppose that in cases of chronic exhaustion, the body preserves steroidogenesis but greatly reduces spermatogenesis.

I don't really jerk off much anymore as I am on nofap.

The last time I had a serious jerk off was before christmas, I experienced a hefty ejaculaton, probably because I hadn't jerked off in about 4-5 months before then.

That's another thing - Looking at porn and jerking off makes me feel really irritable and depressed afterwards. It makes the symptoms worse. It was the first thing I did to battle depression back in 2015. I noticed an improvement in anxiety and depression about 2 weeks after nofap started.

I noticed since then when I would sit down to jerk off or look at porn, experience any sexual excitement was coupled with a weird shaking of my entire body, as detailed in my OP.

It's like something has been fundamentally wrong with my body since a young age. I've never experienced strong sexual attraction to anyone, and have never really had strong, lasting erections.

I left behind my friends in school at 17 and have never had friends since because I simply never felt the need to bond.

Something is very wrong with my brain but I've just try to manage and live around the symptoms. 

[Michael569]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I remember that they injected him with iodine intravenously to improve the results.

Yeah there are ways to trace certain metabolites through injectible isotopes that can then be even coloured and traced, but honestly this way exceeds my scope of knowledge about the subject But yes there are (invasive) methods to monitor this

1 hour ago, ZenAlex said:

The thing I've been pursuing really for years is zen/peace and beauty. I want to be able to master my internal state and enjoy the beautiful music and nature I was able to enjoy at one point.

It felt meaningful to be in nature, although I cannot really much now because of my issues.

At times during my issues I was able to get myself into some pretty peaceful places, although I had to have very strict routines to get such an end result.

So kind of, although at times I feel like just ending my existence because my symptoms for once haven't improved in several months and I struggle to get peace beyond just calming everything down. It's difficult to be hopeful when you don't know exactly what's wrong.

(I am just speculating) But maybe that meaning is too internal and too self-focused, and extending your calling to others would give you a more profound sense of purpose. What I mean, is there any way you could extend that journey to other people? 

Don't underestimate how much life purpose and contribution is tied to your mental health and how lack thereof can negatively affect it. 

Sometimes a long term apathy can be an indication that something deeper is being ignored which might have nothing to do with your biochemical profile (e.g. B12, androgens etc) and everything to do with a more spiritual starvation (as I write this, I acknowledge that it all sounds a bit 'out there' so ignore if this doesn't resonate). 

Perhaps you need to take a step back from all of that. Do you hike? Could you do some local solo travel for a few days? Hike/camp type of thing 

Edited March 21 by Michael569

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I had a schizophrenic friend

Like attracts like? 😜😜😜

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Like attracts like? 😜😜😜

False, i'm a nice, innocent, perfectly normal little boy.

Yes. 

Edited March 21 by Schizophonia

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

False, i'm a nice, innocent, perfectly normal little boy.

Yes. 

Those are the schizos.

[Schizophonia]

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Those are the schizos.

[sholomar]

On 3/20/2024 at 9:10 AM, ZenAlex said:

One thing I've noticed is that throughout my life my lobido has always been quite low, and I've experienced very little sexual attraction to others and no real romantic interest in people.

I've had dulled emotions for about 10 years or so. 

 

Going by polyvegal theory I'd say we both have an underactivated ventral vagal response. Like it or not the best way to cultivate that part of the nervous system is through playful socialization. It's why people who don't have a lot of friends will often get a pet. If a person is lacking the ability be playfully social with others, they will tend to always be at a disadvantage in this regard.   This is a skill that you can develop, which I'm trying to do by watching content like "chrisma on command" on youtube.  It's just important given our biology so I'm forcing the issue.  That back and forth banter that Schizophonia and Arabia did as an example... good for the nervous system. That's how normies act, and a lot of Autists and introverts and people with anxiety disorders are not good at it. A lot of men who have problems keeping women are too serious, not playful, they lack a personality.

Other then that I'd say keep a fixed healthy sleep schedule and unwind when you are not working, meaning don't spend every waking moment in front of a screen when you are off work. Avoid any content that is negative in nature, anger provoking such as world news/ world events or anything "black pill" related. Practice sitting in a room doing nothing. It's a great nervous system release. If you actually do this you may notice intense feelings come to the surface, like Leo says in his video on "meditation technique do nothing" ... need to be able to let the feelings out without resistance... be the "emotional superconductor" ...  You need proper mindset. Thoughts ultimately create feelings over time.  A negative mindset will lead to no progress. It just won't.

I'm curious what your cholesterol level is... I have a theory that a lot of people in this state have cholesterol that is too low, simply because being stressed out all the time depletes the body's hormones which are made from cholesterol like cortisol. Low cholesterol is often seen in disease states. If you are skinny, vegan, and anxious/depressed, a low cholestrol is likely the result. I eat meat and eggs to try to keep it above 150ish, as it's tested as low as 115 mg/dl ... that low and your body can't produce steroid hormones optimally especially under stress.

This webpage is one of the most comprehensive I've come across describing what you mention.

http://www.holistichelp.net/dysautonomia-autonomic-nervous-system-dysfunction.html

You should also get your testosterone levels tested. If you do, I'd love to hear the results. Low testosterone levels in men might be an issue.  I've fixed my nervous system to the point where I can exercise and weight train to failure again. Weight training, especially to failure, used to quickly bring up nervous system fatigue in me. It's a gradual process to fix chronic stress states.

 

Edited March 24 by sholomar

[ZenAlex]

15 hours ago, sholomar said:

Going by polyvegal theory I'd say we both have an underactivated ventral vagal response. Like it or not the best way to cultivate that part of the nervous system is through playful socialization. It's why people who don't have a lot of friends will often get a pet. If a person is lacking the ability be playfully social with others, they will tend to always be at a disadvantage in this regard.   This is a skill that you can develop, which I'm trying to do by watching content like "chrisma on command" on youtube.  It's just important given our biology so I'm forcing the issue.  That back and forth banter that Schizophonia and Arabia did as an example... good for the nervous system. That's how normies act, and a lot of Autists and introverts and people with anxiety disorders are not good at it. A lot of men who have problems keeping women are too serious, not playful, they lack a personality.

Other then that I'd say keep a fixed healthy sleep schedule and unwind when you are not working, meaning don't spend every waking moment in front of a screen when you are off work. Avoid any content that is negative in nature, anger provoking such as world news/ world events or anything "black pill" related. Practice sitting in a room doing nothing. It's a great nervous system release. If you actually do this you may notice intense feelings come to the surface, like Leo says in his video on "meditation technique do nothing" ... need to be able to let the feelings out without resistance... be the "emotional superconductor" ...  You need proper mindset. Thoughts ultimately create feelings over time.  A negative mindset will lead to no progress. It just won't.

I'm curious what your cholesterol level is... I have a theory that a lot of people in this state have cholesterol that is too low, simply because being stressed out all the time depletes the body's hormones which are made from cholesterol like cortisol. Low cholesterol is often seen in disease states. If you are skinny, vegan, and anxious/depressed, a low cholestrol is likely the result. I eat meat and eggs to try to keep it above 150ish, as it's tested as low as 115 mg/dl ... that low and your body can't produce steroid hormones optimally especially under stress.

This webpage is one of the most comprehensive I've come across describing what you mention.

http://www.holistichelp.net/dysautonomia-autonomic-nervous-system-dysfunction.html

You should also get your testosterone levels tested. If you do, I'd love to hear the results. Low testosterone levels in men might be an issue.  I've fixed my nervous system to the point where I can exercise and weight train to failure again. Weight training, especially to failure, used to quickly bring up nervous system fatigue in me. It's a gradual process to fix chronic stress states.

 

All do meditation/do nothing.

I understand what you're saying about socialisation though.

I hate that all of this is so fucking complicated to figure out.

[ZenAlex]

https://www.holistichelp.net/blog/autonomic-nervous-system-dysfunction/

 

Also the issue with this is that so many of these conditions have so many related symptoms that are associated with other conditions there's just no way to know or test that you have this. 

There are literally thousands of conditions that have the same symptoms.