She met someone else when I was away, smh

[Value]

Just looking for some support fellas 

We went on one date, had a good time. Went back to her place and were very close to having sex but she was adamant about waiting (we teased each other though etc). Next day great vibes, she sent pics to me she took on our hang. The following days we chatted, she used my tune in her social media post and we had an overall "connection-type" communication going. She went away on a work trip, I went away to my home country for a week (she said she wished I could bring her). But after these three weeks when I'm back in town she says she recently met another guy, must have been literally during the week I was away. And she wants to see where things go with him instead. 

Dafuq. Not heartbroken but guessing what should I learn from this? 

Edited March 18 by Value

[Leo Gura]

36 minutes ago, Value said:

guessing what should I learn from this? 

The lesson is: girls have zero loyalty or care for you until sex, regardless of what they say.

Edited March 18 by Leo Gura

[Value]

@Leo Gura  haha we were gonna meet once more before I left and I swear to god we would have had sex that time🤦‍♂️ But I needed to get a costume for a party so couldn't make it. No regrets though I pushed it as far as I possibly could when we did hang. That said, upcoming dates I will try to be savvy about actually getting to the point of having sex and know that this can otherwise happen. I swear I thought this one was in the bag before she ditched me.

Edited March 18 by Value

[Value]

@Leo Gura Hell we even briefly used our hands on each other the first time we did hang, but she was adamant.

[Thought Art]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The lesson is: girls have zero loyalty or care for you until sex, regardless of what they say.

Though, in my experience even if they have sex with you doesn’t mean there is loyalty either. 
 

It’s common for relationships to not work out, especially in the beginning. 
 

Girl doesn’t like you? Good.

Next!

[thierry]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The lesson is: girls have zero loyalty or care for you until sex, regardless of what they say.

Then what’s wrong against the Andrew tate’s attitude when a Man goes about dating. Seems only fair to me. 
There has to be a balance, other wise the game is not fair for Men, especially men with strong principles.

[Thought Art]

@thierry What do you mean?

[thierry]

14 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@thierry What do you mean?

What’s wrong gaming several girls at the same time ?

what’s wrong not giving your heart to anyone ? 
 

What’s wrong with the « immature way of dating » (I would see the mature way of dating for a man with showing emotions, doing lots of learning to learn each other and maybe falling a little bit in Love even before sex)

What’s wrong having sex with lots of girls and then choosing one eventhough you might break some hearts doing that ? 
 

if the loyalty and love of a girl is so fragile that if you don’t fuck her there is none, what’s wrong with the asshole attitude ? Seems to me that that’s the most appropriate attitude with the Truth.

[Dauntment]

23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The lesson is: girls have zero loyalty or care for you until sex, regardless of what they say.

May the young guys understand this rather than have a brick wall fall on top of them

[Dauntment]

7 hours ago, thierry said:

What’s wrong gaming several girls at the same time ?

what’s wrong not giving your heart to anyone ? 
 

What’s wrong with the « immature way of dating » (I would see the mature way of dating for a man with showing emotions, doing lots of learning to learn each other and maybe falling a little bit in Love even before sex)

What’s wrong having sex with lots of girls and then choosing one eventhough you might break some hearts doing that ? 
 

if the loyalty and love of a girl is so fragile that if you don’t fuck her there is none, what’s wrong with the asshole attitude ? Seems to me that that’s the most appropriate attitude with the Truth.

Bro, Leo literally made a f**king 3 and a half hour video SPECIFICALLY on Andrew Tate & corresponding philosophy

[thierry]

24 minutes ago, Dauntment said:

Bro, Leo literally made a f**king 3 and a half hour video SPECIFICALLY on Andrew Tate & corresponding philosophy

Yes sorry I was really triggered seeing this post. This Truth just kills me and makes me very cynical. 
« girls have zero loyalty and care for you until there is sex » that just hits like a rotating samurai sword inside of me.

and the fact that Leo says it makes it even more painful cause I’m thinking, if Leo says it, that’s true. 
 

All I want is to still live in my fantasy world where I can date 6month a girl taking my time, and we can fall in Love and connect prior to having sex just like in the movies I watched as a teenage.

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, thierry said:

and the fact that Leo says it makes it even more painful cause I’m thinking, if Leo says it, that’s true. 

Be careful with that kind of atitude. You should verify these things for yourself.

Edited March 19 by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, thierry said:

All I want is to still live in my fantasy world where I can date 6month a girl taking my time, and we can fall in Love and connect prior to having sex just like in the movies I watched as a teenage.

That's definitely an absurd fantasy.

You don't need that. A girl will want to have sex with you by the 3rd date at the latest. And not just want, but need. She doesn't want you to court her for a month. As a man you should be assertive about what you know you want. She wants you to want her and to be confident in it, not wishy-washy. She is testing you to see how bad you want her.

Love is a thing that comes long after sex.

Edited March 19 by Leo Gura

[Mannyb]

Love

[Applegarden8]

You can underestand that you need an alternative to waiting on her, which is to focus on your life in action and self-reflection. Yeah, I would also be fine with meeting just one which i really have some spark and mating only with her, but in today's age I don't see this happen, people have exes that try to come back into their life and sometimes even married people are married only on paper, but they had to get married for some reason I don't underestand.

I think after few years if you work on yourself and your problems, you will be able to provide a more quality relationship to a person that will come eventually and your standards will probably increase as well since you will be looking for signs of emotional maturity that would lower the risk of divorce. I Don't want to marry a lazy, projective victim kind of person who cares what others have. I want somebody who will listen to herself and will listen to me, then  so much is possible.

If you truly want to have a partner, wish for 15-20 minutes a day for a partner (not for any particular person) and prioritize some skills that are handy for dealing with a partner like communication, negotiation, chores and the fact that your own personal decisions become limited as you are willing to sacrifice a part of your self.

[meta_male]

On 18.3.2024 at 0:59 AM, Value said:

(she said she wished I could bring her)

What a woman says means absolutely nothing as you just saw. It only ever applies to the present moment. Don't look at what a woman says, look at her actions.

[ExplorerMystic]

On 18/3/2024 at 5:29 AM, Value said:

Just looking for some support fellas 

We went on one date, had a good time. Went back to her place and were very close to having sex but she was adamant about waiting (we teased each other though etc). Next day great vibes, she sent pics to me she took on our hang. The following days we chatted, she used my tune in her social media post and we had an overall "connection-type" communication going. She went away on a work trip, I went away to my home country for a week (she said she wished I could bring her). But after these three weeks when I'm back in town she says she recently met another guy, must have been literally during the week I was away. And she wants to see where things go with him instead. 

Dafuq. Not heartbroken but guessing what should I learn from this? 

Stop creating fantasies around female about what she is thinking ? , How madly she is in love with me ?. They have their perception of seeing & feeling things including needs. What this fantasies do on the top of sexual drive . It drives men crazy. Action what describe what they want (this is applicable irrespective of gender).

If you were thinking some kind of long term relationship in this. Remember her action even if she come back to you in future.

 

Edited March 20 by ExplorerMystic

[Value]

@ExplorerMystic I didn't create any fantasies, brother. But yes even if she comes back she's done in my mind:)

[Value]

@meta_male Yeah that's a fair point that they often speak with what they feel in the moment, which can shift.

[Value]

@Applegarden8 Thanks for the tips, luckily I'm meeting others as well. Was just surprised that she ditched me so quickly