By Buck Edwards
in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God,
I don't know what made me write this. But I write it with a heavy heart. Like any other thing that comes with it's own set of pros and cons, spiritual communities aren't exempt from drawbacks either. I'm not specifically talking about forums although forums are a fraction of it. I'm just saying communities in general. I have reached a point where I'm seriously contemplating whether being a part of a larger community is really worth it if the results aren't really there and if things are just getting worse with the illusion that you're on a spiritual path and you are achieving something when in reality millions of people with mental and physical problems turn to spirituality only for bypassing their real issues, are barely able to cope through life and end up being and doing worse when they get on the spiritual path. They start to rot and lose interest in life and daily activities once they begin to live in a solipsistic bubble. Instead of thriving, they start rapidly degrading. The consequences can be anywhere from suicide to mental illness to death or just living like a zombie. I'm sure people in the past have also expressed such a sentiment on this forum before. It's a routine thing, not to mention the problem of false teachings. Things that degrade your mental well being or just take you on a path of disillusionment. You gotta do the math yourself. Are you in this for the better or are things genuinely not turning out to be the way they should.
I was barely 9 years old when I first started with spirituality. I haven't come very far because life came in between. I devoted a significant portion of my life in chasing delusions (let's put it that way). I suffered autism at a young age and in my teens I was obsessed with spirituality and religion. I always thought I was looking for something, searching for something, there was this existential crisis like thing going on with me. I was often at my wits end. Don't get me wrong. I derived a lot of benefit from this forum itself. Leo's teachings, his videos on personal development were a great starting point. But there's a problem. Everything is not so hunky dory. I still think that I suffered a bit in the process and not in a good way. It's like "invited" suffering. I don't know if this is the inherent nature of spiritual work. But I went through phases of insanity. I didn't do psychedelics (God only knows what suffering might have resulted from that). But so far not so stellar results. I have significant mental illness. I don't know if that's interfering with my spiritual stuff.
One thing I casually noticed in spiritual communities is the huge problem of spiritual ego. People fight a lot over what's right or wrong. There's a certain dogmatism that accompanies it. This downgrades the whole spiritual process significantly. This is not alien to any community, it's to be found in every spiritual community.
Be careful with what you decide to put your energy into. I have suffered significantly.