I’m Done With This Dating Game

[Princess Arabia]

Let me explain something to you why most women don't normally approach men. Several reasons and I'll name a few.

Most women are feminine (or to a certain degree), and the same way you expressed how you feel as a feminine man why you don't like to approach women is the same way they feel. Women like to feel desired and wanted and it is doesn't feel good to most feminine women and women in general to approach men because they feel it lowers their value. Do you like telemarketers ringing up your phone to try to sell you things you don't want? No. Most times you hang up the phone, even if you do it politely it's still kind of annoying because you don't want to be forced into purchasing something you don't want. 

Most men know what they want in a woman. They have a certain type and women would be getting turned down left and right by very secure and confident men who knows they can get have their pick if the norm was for women to approach. Men would also be fucking women they weren't attracted to just because she approached and it was an easy lay. So this dynamic is mostly a lose-lose situation. 

Men don't like to feel rejected but they also wouldn't want to be constantly approached by women they're not attracted to. It would only boost their ego but that wouldn't be a healthy situation either. Women's egos aren't being boosted in an unhealthy way by men constantly approaching them, men only think that. Women are feeling more desired by this which makes for a better dynamic for an intimate relationship with a man and she will become more receptive to him as a result of feeling desired which in turn makes for a more rewarding sexual encounter with her,

I understand how you feel; but you have to understand that you will feel desired, needed and wanted after the initial stage of her accepting your offer for a date if she really likes you. A woman can like you and not approach you for fear of coming off too aggressive which turns off a lot of men. You say you are a feminine man and like the feeling of being approached, but you are complaining about the process. Do you complain about the processes you go through to get whatever else you want out of life? Like muscles in the gym? Do you wine and bitch to the weights and say can't you just give me muscles with one lift? No. You go out and lift your ass off, same thing with other aspects of your life. Why with women you feel it's a drag. A man WILL go after something if he wants it badly enough and he will get it. Maybe you just don't want it badly enough. 

[StarStruck]

For most women, especially feminine women, the most important thing is how she feels. So if you can make her feel ok you are already 80% of the way. And if you have everything set and you don’t make her feel ok you are back 80%. So to answer the question of the thread, you have to feel ok in your own skin. I have noticed that if a feminine girl likes you she will just mirror your psycho emotional state. And if you think you are the shit she will think you are the shit and if you think you are a piece of shit she will think you are a piece of shit. A relationship is like a salsa dance. You lead and she follows. But there can’t be two leads or two follows in the same dance. 

[StarStruck]

It is ironic that OP talks shit about Andrew Tate when he is exactly the person who needs his advice. 😭

Anyway, Teal Swan has also some good advice. Says the same thing but in a different way:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZIJnxw26d/

[Past-Philosopher-562]

@Leo Gura What do you think of the dark triad ? Are their traits really dark ? Women seem to respond and crave such men if we judge what they do rather than what they say , this men have strong frame and some charismatic . 

I mean I get the psychopathy , narcissism , and psychopathy is truely toxic but if we consider them spectrums and going too far using them is bad so is their opposite ? --

 

[StarStruck]

@Past-Philosopher-562 Teal Swan gives the answer in that TikTok video

[Thought Art]

Y’a gotta just get more direct experience. It’s uncomfortable, but the more you do it the more comfortable it becomes 

[Past-Philosopher-562]

24 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@Past-Philosopher-562 Teal Swan gives the answer in that TikTok video

Good video . One thing clarified about nice guys . 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, Past-Philosopher-562 said:

Women seem to respond and crave such men

Just seems that way because you aren't dating women.

[Past-Philosopher-562]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Just seems that way because you aren't dating women.

They literally do . How is that something that seems to be when there is statistics behind it and women writing about the bad boy they still miss from their former years ? . 

You spoke about this in your videos two , How what you discovered in the field is that players get the girl , nice guys behaviors don't .

[Yousif]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

 

Most women are feminine (or to a certain degree), and the same way you expressed how you feel as a feminine man why you don't like to approach women is the same way they feel. Women like to feel desired and wanted and it is doesn't feel good to most feminine women and women in general to approach men because they feel it lowers their value. Do you like telemarketers ringing up your phone to try to sell you things you don't want? No.

men feel the same way when approaching women though, this doesn’t say that men SHOULD be the one’s initiating, they also don’t want to ring up the girls phone to try and sell her things she don’t want.
 

Isn’t funny how men and women are basically the same and feel the same way about things and yet struggle to approach each other without one feeling like their value is being diminished,

this tells me that people really don’t know themselves, if they did, they would be able to relate to others in an authentic and comfortable way.

 

I’ve had many girls and women approach me instead of me approaching them, this doesn’t make me feel feminine or that they’re lowering their value, it doesn’t matter who approaches who, but if you want more sex and more relationships, then you better go after it, although there are people that master the art of having girls approach them, by social status, money,fame, looks, and things of that sort.

Edited March 17 by Yousif

[NoSelfSelf]

Everything you listed from athletic,musician,empathic etc. Doesnt hit on deeper level, game is on a deeper level than external thing.Its all in your mind,the way you talk it will either hit the deeper level or wont,but when you on superficial level like looking what you are doing and how you are looking you will only hit her eyes that doesnt penetrate the emotion.You dont know how to express that deeper level of yourself to her, so she can see you, since you think you are athletic,musician or whatever you listed game comes from I AM not I DO level.

Also if you only see her as a body and calling it beautiful,sexy etc. And you dont dig to see her on a deeper level she wont see you either.But you cant see her if you dont see yourself on deeper level.

But when one looks at beauty he cant see or penetrate deeper than level 1.Also for the guys who wants just sex you cant get to the deeper parts.

 

If you dont hit deeper even if she becomes your gf she will dictate how things will be and when relationship ends.

Edited March 17 by NoSelfSelf

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Past-Philosopher-562 said:

women writing about the bad boy they still miss from their former years ? . 

If by badboy you just mean a guy who isn't gay, then yes.

You guys invent way too many stupid theories about girls. Just go flirt with them. All your theories are irrelevant and hinder your progress.

The more you get in your head about girls, the worse your results will be. The proper method is: You don't build any grand theories, you go out consistently every week and talk to girls, and you go about your life. Without any stupid theories. Your thinking is killing you. Stop it!

Edited March 17 by Leo Gura

[Past-Philosopher-562]

@Leo Gura lol fair . thank you . that was cool . It's true my thinking is definetly killing me . 

[Kid A]

10 hours ago, eos_nyxia said:

You're looking at neurotypical/ mainstream dating places. You're not neurotypical. The odds are extremely stacked against you in your environment.

The girls I’ve gone out with who seemed least attracted to me, have actually been the most autistic girls, most similar to myself. I have on the other hand had great suceess with some very extroverted and social girls. The two girls I’ve been most serious with have both been like this. For me it seems like girls really want someone who complements them.

Edited March 17 by Kid A

[Hello from Russia]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Look, you will be incompatible with most girls. It's not personal. She wanted kids and you didn't so it is a bad fit. Love is never enough to bridge such big gaps.

What you're learning is the importance of screening out incompatible girls early. A key part of dating. If you want to build serious long-term relationships you gotta ask early what her goals for life are and see if they align with yours.

What if she refuses to communicate with you about her goals? Says that it "doesn't matter"

Though relationship itself is kinda good and there is love and everything

Edited March 17 by Hello from Russia

[Miguel1]

11 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

After thinking about it, me being able to approach without resistance would be a great confidence and social skill. I am open to learning how to do this more and more effectively. However, it still helps if women at least help make themselves more approachable.

Analyze this thread for starters. There's a lot of valuable insight from multiple angles. Not only is it a LIVE action experience from the perspective of a person who had it rough at the beginning of the night but was able to turn it around to a fun, good night - but also me and others gave practical advice there:
 

 

Edited March 17 by Miguel1

[r0ckyreed]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Look, you will be incompatible with most girls. It's not personal. She wanted kids and you didn't so it is a bad fit. Love is never enough to bridge such big gaps.

What you're learning is the importance of screening out incompatible girls early. A key part of dating. If you want to build serious long-term relationships you gotta ask early what her goals for life are and see if they align with yours.

Thanks. The part that frustrates me is I have spent hours contemplating if I want kids or not, and right now, the answer is Hell No! But I am not sure if kids is something I will want in the future. My ex-girlfriend and I both agreed that we didn't want kids now, but in her later 30s. I am not sure if I will grow into wanting kids someday or if my attitudes right now will be the same. 10 years ago, I wanted to have kids, but now at 27, I want to do everything I can to avoid having kids. My ex-girlfriend said that was the reason why she didn't have sex with me was because of me not wanting kids.

But you are right. She is incompatible to me and my goals. And it was the right thing for us to break up. I just feel defeated because I have not met many women that don't want children.

The main reason why I don't want children right now is all of the responsibility and sacrifice. Freedom/Adventure is one of my highest values in life, and I don't see having kids right now as helping to fulfill that value.

[r0ckyreed]

11 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Neither one of you compromised; rightly so in this case because love of self is more important and in the long run would have jeopardized the relationship if one of you eased up and caved in for the other. 

So it is very one-sided of you to make the comment that her love for you wasn't as strong because neither was yours.

Think about what I'm saying here before you come to your defense because it isn't easy to recognize this when you're in the trap.

You got a good point. That's what we were saying as we were breaking up. My love was strong for her, but not enough to compromise my values. And she was the same. 

11 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I understand how you feel; but you have to understand that you will feel desired, needed and wanted after the initial stage of her accepting your offer for a date if she really likes you. A woman can like you and not approach you for fear of coming off too aggressive which turns off a lot of men. You say you are a feminine man and like the feeling of being approached, but you are complaining about the process.

Thanks for your wisdom. It sounds to me then that women actually want to be approached by me but they are more nervous as I am. So what I will try to do then is go up to one and say "Hey I am Rocky. How is your night so far? I am doing well as well! I absolutely love philosophy and questioning reality. What about you? What do you find most amazing about reality?" I will try something like that. Thanks.

[r0ckyreed]

47 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Analyze this thread for starters. There's a lot of valuable insight from multiple angles. Not only is it a LIVE action experience from the perspective of a person who had it rough at the beginning of the night but was able to turn it around to a fun, good night - but also me and others gave practical advice there:
 

 

Thanks. I have been reading that.

Sometimes, it just feels weird going out by myself. Not sure how I can go around about this. I guess just brute force?

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, r0ckyreed said:

Thanks. I have been reading that.

Sometimes, it just feels weird going out by myself. Not sure how I can go around about this. I guess just brute force?

I have been out solo probably 300 nights at least. There's nothing weird about it. If someone asks, own it.

''Who are you here with?''

''Im here alone. I love meeting new people and my friends didn't wanna come out tonight. So I thought I'd rather come out to socialize than cry myself to sleep ''

Other than that, start just chatting people, small-talk with people, you don't have to keep the conversations very long. You can keep them brief. Then wish them a fun night and you'll see them around. And move on to the next people. As you gain more social momentum and feel more comfortable in the venue, you can do more bold stuff like flirting and approaching hotter girls.

Key is not judging who you approach. At least not in the beginning of the night when you are getting yourself into the mood of the night.