Need guidance in what I'm experiencing.

[Swagala]

A couple hours ago, I decided to finally take some time and just sit with myself for a bit.

After a few minutes of just staring at a random charger block on my bed, I began to feel very isolated and almost like my whole body was floating. Then, I came to the realization that I am alone, as if I am the only thing that's experiencing the 'world'. I then started tearing up and eventually full on crying from the realization that I'm all that's ever here. Then, I started praying, hoping that there is some higher power out there to lead me because I don't actually know what any of this (life) is and how it all came to be and what I'm doing here.

I've had a similar experience before several years ago but I don't think I went deep into it. But ever since then, I've always had some sadness lingering inside of me that I didn't quite understand. Such as: there have been times where I'm laughing very hard at something or enjoying myself with family but then I would feel a deep sense of sadness. It wasn't until a couple hours ago that I came to the conclusion that the sadness may have been from knowing that there's really nothing here and that all of this is just a dream- including the joyful things in life that can cause me to laugh very hard.

 

After all that crying, I've been having these insights and most of them are about how life is all just a dream. There's nothing in this life you can actually attain. And because there's nothing to get, there's no reason to want to manipulate anything to be a certain way.

 

And now I'm here, sort of paranoid that I may be reverting back to insanity. For context, I used to be into spirituality up until a few years ago. I left it all behind because none of it had any practicality for what I wanted during that part of my life. And I'll admit, I was also afraid that I may have just been using spirituality as an escape from real life and that all the 'insights' I've ever had were all just fantasy and delusions. But now after experiencing more of life, I'm surprised that I'm still drawn to spirituality. So, yeah... now I'm here paranoid that I may be reverting back into fantasy and delusion; believing that life is just a dream. It feels insane to believe that life is just a dream and almost seems dangerous. Unfortunate things can still happen and it can affect others. If one believes everything is just a dream, there can be room for carelessness and disregard for everything and everyone else around.

 

I honestly just need some guidance from someone right now. Am I going insane? I have a job but I stay home most of the time so, I'm concerned that my isolation is what's causing me to go into this solipsistic way of thinking.

[Leo Gura]

Life is a dream and then your job is to figure out a way to enjoy it and make it meaningful for you.

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

Strange times we live in… On one hand we as human beings are more connected to one another more then perhaps any other time in history, but simultaneously, I think most people feel more isolated then ever before. I wish I had better advice for you, but hang in there… The one thing you can be certain of, is that things will change eventually.  

[Breakingthewall]

What is sought with spirituality is to realize what reality is, not to define it as a dream or anything else, but to open yourself to it and be it. Definitions like dreams are in the mental and only distance you from what reality is. forget them and pierce the psyche until only the unlimited remains

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

2 hours ago, Swagala said:

Then, I started praying, hoping that there is some higher power out there to lead me because I don't actually know what any of this (life) is and how it all came to be and what I'm doing here.

This is where good old fashioned faith comes into play... which is not to be confused with belief. True faith is letting go of the safety rail of belief, allowing yourself to fall into the unfathomable & infinite abyss of pure unknowingness and trusting God to catch you.

And as @Breakingthewall rightfully pointed out, "this is a dream and I am all alone" is still a belief aka. a mental story. What if you let go of all beliefs and just face raw reality without interpretation?

Godspeed, my friend!

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Cosmic-Resplendence said:

Strange times we live in… On one hand we as human beings are more connected to one another more then perhaps any other time in history, but simultaneously, I think most people feel more isolated then ever before. I wish I had better advice for you, but hang in there… The one thing you can be certain of, is that things will change eventually.  

You have to be connected to yourself to be able to connect to others. Consciousness is one. 

[Arthogaan]

Watch Leo's episode "How to fall in love with life"

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

Quote

You have to be connected to yourself to be able to connect to others. Consciousness is one. 

Truth!

[Quader]

If you didn't believe life is a dream, what makes you think you'd be more careful? If life was real, wouldn't you feel fear that some threat could pose a problem for you? Are you sure this grounding In reality would result in  more universally responsible behaviour? For me, I would be far more selfish, losing would no longer be a dream, it would be something to kill and commit evil to avoid. It would be difficult to do anything for anyone but to further your own "real" prerogative. 

 

 

 

[BipolarGrowth]

This is a dream. This is reality. This is illusion. This is truth. This is God. This is consciousness. This is life. This is hell. This is heaven. 
 

At the end of the day, this is simply this. Any further view layered upon this is something you are fabricating. When THIS has to be described or equated to a concept, folly has already occurred. When you add layers of meaning, it is like adding a condom between you and This/God/whatever other name you want. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with playing these mind games with yourself. 

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

10 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

This is a dream. This is reality. This is illusion. This is truth. This is God. This is consciousness. This is life. This is hell. This is heaven. 
 

At the end of the day, this is simply this. Any further view layered upon this is something you are fabricating. When THIS has to be described or equated to a concept, folly has already occurred. When you add layers of meaning, it is like adding a condom between you and This/God/whatever other name you want. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with playing these mind games with yourself. 

Right on the money... couldn't have said it better myself. 10/10

[Javfly33]

10 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

This is a dream. This is reality. This is illusion. This is truth. This is God. This is consciousness. This is life. This is hell. This is heaven. 
 

At the end of the day, this is simply this. Any further view layered upon this is something you are fabricating. When THIS has to be described or equated to a concept, folly has already occurred. When you add layers of meaning, it is like adding a condom between you and This/God/whatever other name you want. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with playing these mind games with yourself. 

Sure. But the dream has rules. Is innocent to think you are going to play the Game/dream/God in the best way without understanding the rules and the mechanics.

Rules in a Game are constructed precisely to Enjoy the Game. There is an intelligence there.

The layer of meaning that boiling water all over your skin hurts is useful for example, in order to you not burn your skin.

Thats a crude example of course. The point is IMO is that there is proundity of understanding. 

OP is completely Lost in their Mind and psychological Mess thought. So not defending OP post lol.

[Soul Flight]

@Swagala We've all been there. That creeping self doubt is always with me. I guess we need to live with it or commit to the spiritual path.

Get back to basics with your sanity. Go vegan, drink water, sleep more, have a sleep routine, socialize, make friends, date, visit friends and family, get sunshine, see nature, hear nature, see water, hear water, take a multivitamin, distract yourself with hobbies, get therapy, read self help books, stop all caffeine, sugar, and salt, exercise regularly, delete all social media, reduce screen time, read books, breathe deeply, etc etc. Back to basics baby.

Be well. Be safe.

[theleelajoker]

Soul Flight already made some good points.  If you cannot do any of those actions proposed  - accept it for now.

 

Been there. It will pass. Be well

Edited March 16 by theleelajoker

[MediumKahuna]

@Swagala I've been going through a similar experience lately. I've always had cycles of depression, but recently I had a realization of cosmic loneliness I guess you could call it and I'm not sure if I can ever go back.

These days I look forward to nothing and feel immense loneliness despite living with my girlfriend. It's a feeling of everything around me being just imaginary, total solitude with no one to even listen to the suffering. All I want to do is forget and go back to how it was. My mind tortures me daily reminding me that I'm alone, no one exists, and everything is my dream.

The best I can hope for is to forget this eventually, or somehow learn to live with it. I wish you the best of luck.

Edited March 17 by MediumKahuna

[Soul Flight]

@MediumKahuna Check out the 10 ox herding pictures or stories. It is helpful to know there is a path forward. It is a strange loop. Be well.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

15 hours ago, MediumKahuna said:

@Swagala I've been going through a similar experience lately. I've always had cycles of depression, but recently I had a realization of cosmic loneliness I guess you could call it and I'm not sure if I can ever go back.

These days I look forward to nothing and feel immense loneliness despite living with my girlfriend. It's a feeling of everything around me being just imaginary, total solitude with no one to even listen to the suffering. All I want to do is forget and go back to how it was. My mind tortures me daily reminding me that I'm alone, no one exists, and everything is my dream.

The best I can hope for is to forget this eventually, or somehow learn to live with it. I wish you the best of luck.

Loneliness is just a feeling that, like any other feeling, wants to be consciously felt and "exhausted" so that it can be released and transcended. In traditional spiritual terms, it's a part of your karma that needs to be burned in the fire of consciousness; it's like accumulated electrical energy that requires a conductor and a light bulb (=> conscious awareness) in order to be transmuted into light.

Does it feel pleasant getting roasted by the electric current of your karma? F*** no. But the way through the flames of purgatory eventually leads to freedom/liberation/bliss/whatever you want to call it.

Per aspera ad astra.

[MediumKahuna]

@Soul Flight@Bazooka Jesus Thank you both.