In Search Of Greatness!!

[Will]

OK, I have never done anything like keep a journal for anyone elses benefit before. I hope it helps someone to see me and where i cam,e from and whats is working for me.. Good luck everyone!!

Enjoy..

 

[Ayla]

@Will

[Will]

Today i think I just want to Blog a bit about how i feel today.. I am obviously ne to this sort of thing I have very little experience in Self development, I have done some in the past but its pretty fruitless and has not really shown any benefit. in some cases it has put me back and made me feel really bad in myself for not having achieved more in my life..

 

right now, it valentines day and this morning I was feeling somewhat glum. I allowed it to wash over me . I knew it would not last and waitied until I would know when to get out of bed.. so I started the day and did all the usual things poeple do . eat shower clean organise procratinate.. My one thing thats keeps me going and on track I think is my desire to be where i want to be.. I have a real deep down desire to be what I want.. I have this belief that I can become anything i like.. Effort required is a totally other issue.. so I have that battle day in day out.. 

Is it all worth it..

Most day s I can say yes, but some days like this morning I could not.. 

But i have these habits that keep me focused and honest..

I write down as much as i can.

I have to-do list everywhere..

I review them all dally.

what I find by reviewing them I find things that I dont agree with today that i did yesterday. it reall helps for me to realise that I am not this static thing. I am forever evolving and I am such a function of my environment...

anyway. today was a great day of lazing about the house tidying up attending to plants, getting organised and pouring over my thoughts and sorting them out in there myriad of electronic systems I have .. 

ever note is your friend people!

so today was a great day , ;probably a 6 or 7 .. but it was a day of forward momentum even though it started of shakilly

Mind you allot of the successs of the day came down to the self pride of doing so much work while I had the time.. I really took advantage of the spare time I had today to get ahaed..

I am keenly aware of the fact that the next moment may not come for me so Id better be ok with whatvere id do in that moment..

Be lazy or work hard it my choice but I d better be fine what ever i choose.. i think thats keeps me honest..

 

Thankls for reading..!! 

 

 

 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Will

[Will]

OK.

Today was another day..

Got up the usual way. 5.20, i actually got up this time.. smiled and had a cuppa, No sleep in this morning..

For some reason I believe that sleep ins feel great but are evil , I cant go into it here..

Went through the day with the usual flood of audible in my drive around work. This would probably have to be one of the most life changing things I do.. I constantly stay aware of what I am trying to achieve by constantly listening to people and learning about this bottomless topic of developing.

When i find my confidence weaning or I get disillusioned by something,  things keep me focused are.. listening to those who get it done and learning something from new perspective, hearing others stories. When I get home, writing about any issues I have and updating and consolidating all my lists. 

I have developed a system of lists. 

no real rhyme or reason. whatever comes up in my thoughts I just capture it..

try to systematically, brainstorm around it to try and form a picture of all the biases I have about that topic.

I.e. all the traits of the top performing

[Will]

Hi there all,

Reporting in today.

Had a weekend of just doing weekend kind of activities.

Feel kind of out of flow with the weeks focus on personal development.

it is interesting to note how conscious I am becoming of the differnt task and activites I do and how I feel about them..

I did the usuall house tidying duties, looking after my daughter taking her around toher different events.

meeting up with a girlfriend and her child. Did some of my hobbies. Hung out with some friends.

Before you know it. the weekend is over and I have not really given any focuis to personal development..

I would say my mood is ok, and i dont feel guilty for not making progress on my self actualization but , its ok..

 

Biggest learning from the week is  around the new idea of treating any desire or habbitual craving..

New method called willingness..

Very similar to what I am already doing.

• trying to be more aware of what I am doing thinking saying
• allowing m,yself to feel and trying to allow feelings to be
• resigning to those feelings.. Not sure how to do this yet..

 

Looking forward to work as I get great opportunities to complete some of my daily habbits . My dayly habbits do help me to focus and stay in track with my development..

 

Signing off!!

[Will]

Just wanted to put a link in for two stand outs from this week that where relevant to me..

 

 

 

[Will]

Today after some more self Inquiry. definately feeling like head is spinning somewhat.. Went over a couple of my comments from yesterday even and it seems to be a very fluid flux. I am somewhat confused about what I am trying to do here now. I thought it was to be the best I can be and live a life with more purpose and passion. 

However

[Will]

Last week I had really hit some content hard and spent another two nights really working hard to get a hold of my life purpose..

I did not get very far with the self purpose but something got me really pumped..

I somehow stumbled onto an idea that there is only change in the experience. even if we stand still there is change. IOt may be inperceptible but it is always there and it is always going.. this followed onto the realisation that there is no such things as up down positive or negative forwards or backwards. there is only change.. 

The epiphany was that we had the power to be conscious of this change and  to work with it or fight it.. tyo work with it all we had to do was to keep doing things differently and really appreciate that any slight change  can reveal great fullness to life..

I became very grateful of the change that happens all the time all around us.. its kinda like the universe is always feeding us with continual opportunities for improving or not.. 

Nothing was right.. nothing was wrong and I could go anywhere I liked..

this flowed over into my weekend and peak one night when I was expressing this to a friend I learn this stuff with..

I was so pumped and rattled for ages to him and he got fairly pumped to.. I felt like energy was flowing out of me at one stage there..

it was pretty energetic..

 

After that peak It made me feel pretty comfortable with who I was and I was pretty keen to show the world that I was happy with who I was ..

a couple of days after that I have fallen somewhat asleep again and feel that some of those around me have been commenting on my actions and saying that it was pretty weird..

 

So I have been working hard trying to understand how to best the best me without involving anyone else.. I dont want to tell the world so much.. I would just rather be the best me I can be and fuck everybody else.. But I want to do it in a respectful and graceful way.. I dont want to feel like I have learnt something everyone should learn.. i think on some level it sort of sprouts that I am better than them.. And I know I am not..

So my goal for the next week is to  work out how to take the experiences I am having and to let them enrich my life without it disrespecting people who choose to live there lives in a particular way..

i.e. some people just dont want help from me.. they dont want to be happy they also may not want to see me be happy as it makes them feel shit about them,selves..

 

 

[Will]

Progress Update

So have not checked in here for about 10 days. Ive been reading and still watching a tonne of content

What I am liking so far..

Sadhguru,, Really cool badass yogi!!

Obvious Leos videos.. 

Heap of inspirational videos from team fearless

Plus all my favourite hobby / interest videos like TED or Mighty car mods

 

What I am noticing is that I am not taking them all in verbatim though.. I listen to them and as soon as I find something I dont like or dont feel good about I either elaborate on it or discount it.. I have also been taking one or two things and actually trying them out.

The experiment mindset really kills allot of negative doubt or restrictive beliefs.. I always finding myself saying hey try it out you dont know unless you give it a go..!! It is so true that you always think things are worse than they actually are..

I have started to notice that when I think about girls and business some of those fears that where holding me back are now starting to evaporate..

I still have a few more excuses going on like I dont have enough time or I am tired ect but slowly and surely I can feel the tide turning..

I am trying to be conscious to not compare myself or feel like i have arrived or that I am getting better.. I prefer to be in the mindset that I am in charge and that I really respect people for the places they chose to be in.. That is there business.. I only want to help people who want to be helped.. That would mean they have to at least ask me how to get better before i would bother reaching out.. Its not for me to go out there and help the world.. Because the world is perfect..

I think daily about ideas (write them down and record them) and what i want to create in the world and i dont feel guilty for it either..

I can do have create anything i like...

 

I go out with my mates and find now that when I approach girls I am starting to experiment allot more to..

Pulling them in 

signalling them to come over and generally doing as I please..

I love hanging out with these guys that do the same thing and there are guys at different stages which is really helpfull... 

So all in all going really well, enjoying each day, obviously some days I feel crap and bummed out but I try and see if I can turn those around when they happen as an experiment.. sometimes I can but days when i am tired I find it a bit harder..

 

Still going hard with my notes . I have about 10 whiteboards with the whiteboard markers scattered around with different things on them.. Idea. todo lists, lists of values, list of things that I want in the future, what is important to me.. All on whiteboards so I can update regularly and add or edit as I go.. helps allot to keep me focused on what is important..

 

I am being the best I can be but even better than that I am improving a bit each day.. which is a great feeling..

Even if yesterday i did not get as much done or felt crap I still feel i came away from the day growing a bit...

 

chat next time..

 

 

[Will]

Hi there!!

Soo, I have changed my approach to things a bit since last time..

I still write ideas and thoughts in note form and put into my evernote, I have started logging my thoughts on audio whilst driving around. Kinda like a blog.

I have been noticving that the blogs seem to be mostly while listening to audio that I dont quite believe or i think needs tweaking somehow.. Which is kinda nice as now I am starting to see my flavour come out..

Every now and then I will scroll through and find some p[ost in the forum here to comment on. I am gravitating to relationship ones.. I guess that is because I still really want a hot GF..

I suppose that is good. because it keeps me motivated to learn about body language , and just getting in touch with being awsome.. I am learning lots about

boundaries

self belief

What I like

How Iam being needy

how to communicate

lots of really interesting stuff..

 

When I first started this is was all about  getting my ex back..

That is now fading  and I can see that just being awesome is becoming really important..

looking forward to getting hot chicks..

have not had sex in a while its getting a lil annoying as I would love to have some , but I am trying to use it as fuel to keep going..

been wakeboarding heaps and hanging out with friends heaps.

things that I am starting to work on are my bussiness sense and how I am going to contribute. trying to develop my passion and interests and find out what I am suppose to play with in regards to bussiness..

My mate wants me to get into catering and I am like nahhh.

I think at this stage I want to keep focusing on people like me who want answers on how to be better and then work on making bussiness contacts and getting some mentors.. develop some relationships in bussiness and like minded people..

time and priority are still issues..

I look at my whiteboards most days and most days I try to meditate for about 10-15 min..

working hard to distill my thoughts and emotions down and start finding patternes.. but yeah time and knowing what to prioritise is still an issue.

procrastination is still an issue too..

I am probably not taking enough risks either. just coasting and justifying it by saying I am studying lots..

 

Im done!!

 

 

[Will]

A bit stuck in this challenge at the moment.. Not really sure what to do . I guess i just have trust in myself and keep plugging away. I am happy to have patience, but I am conscious of that just being an excuse not to take massive action..

Things that keep me going forward..

• reading , learning watching
• actually observing what I learnt
• Practising it and experimenting it

Things that are holding me back

• fear
• procrastination
• focussing on outcome ( I TEND TO PROCRASTINATE MORE IF i DONT ACHIEVE)

However I do have a hightened sense of labels and judgments here, i think i still do it allot in operation of life..

I definitely feel i have allot more control , but I also have way more responsibility and I tend to beat myself up  a bit..

Another powerfull thing is that now when I see challenges i dont take them so personally but i still find them challenging and can tend to shy away from them still..

consciousness is still pretty low.. cant really hold conciousness in the moment. tend to get swept up in what i am doing or trying to achieve. get really focused..

I noticing when i am talking to girls, I can get some attention and I can control the interaction some what but I dont push it far enough to get a result. i figure it will be there later.. I guess I am hiding behind non attachment to outcome..

 

Going for coffee.

OUT!