I landed in a closed psychiatric ward

[Psychonaut]

Hello guys, 

I landed in a closed psychiatric ward. My girlfriend drove me there, she is an anaesthetist. I am just a highly creative human though and I still am in the ward at this stage. Somehow she thought that was a good idea...

Just a quick note to anyone here: Try to avoid going to a psychiatric clinic as a patient at all costs. They will help you, but not in the way that you wish them to. They tortured me for 5 days in a cell for heavy drug users. I just don't take drugs like that. I have a complete blackout, I just remember the state of the room and that my dad came to visit me and I told him that I loved him. Everything else is a blur.

I still managed to learn a lot about the lower levels of spiral dynamics thinking.

• Doctors and staff are stage BLUE
• They fear stage RED, even just knowledge about how the system works, abilities to get stuff like cigarettes is power here.
• Stage purple is helpful for bonding with other "inmates". A closed ward is basically a prison, you have to build trust with the staff and inmates first.
• They got me down to Stage BEIGE thinking in their shitty cell, but my instinct to survive was too strong.

Overall this was a very enlightening experience for me, mainly for the lower levels of spiral dynamics. Don't try it yourself though! 

 

[Jowblob]

Psychward tries to bring you back to the consciousness and stability of the materialistic dream. And usually drug users that go to these places want it themselves. 

In psychward they will teach you and tell you that it was all ' hallucinations ' from the drugs. But deep down you know better, that's how they try to lower your consciousness to stability and your waking dream. 

 

I also wanted to admit myself to psychward at one point because i regretted going to such a high state where i was witnessing that my waking dream is just my imagination/mind or atleast my mind had some control over it , i was like god.

Don't mess with psychedelics if you aren't in any danger and if you aren't ready to die.

For people that are in jail or other forms of limitation that they put themselves into, high dose of lsd/5 meo dmt and your true will, will make you escape any jail or other limited situation like it's nothing. But don't think that your new form of existence would imstantly be better then you being in the jail, it takes work to control/stabillize your mind

Edited March 11 by Jowblob

[OBEler]

4 hours ago, Psychonaut said:

Hello guys, 

I landed in a closed psychiatric ward. My girlfriend drove me there, she is an anaesthetist. I am just a highly creative human though and I still am in the ward at this stage. Somehow she thought that was a good idea...

Just a quick note to anyone here: Try to avoid going to a psychiatric clinic as a patient at all costs. They will help you, but not in the way that you wish them to. They tortured me for 5 days in a cell for heavy drug users. I just don't take drugs like that. I have a complete blackout, I just remember the state of the room and that my dad came to visit me and I told him that I loved him. Everything else is a blur.

I still managed to learn a lot about the lower levels of spiral dynamics thinking.

• Doctors and staff are stage BLUE
• They fear stage RED, even just knowledge about how the system works, abilities to get stuff like cigarettes is power here.
• Stage purple is helpful for bonding with other "inmates". A closed ward is basically a prison, you have to build trust with the staff and inmates first.
• They got me down to Stage BEIGE thinking in their shitty cell, but my instinct to survive was too strong.

Overall this was a very enlightening experience for me, mainly for the lower levels of spiral dynamics. Don't try it yourself though! 

 

What was the reason that your girlfriend thought it would be a good idea 

[Hojo]

@OBEler yea its kinda like your girlfriend sent you to jail. and She thinks she has authority cause she puts people to sleep with gas?

[UnbornTao]

Don't confuse a breakthrough with a breakdown.

Btw, moved to Mental Health section.

Edited March 11 by UnbornTao

[funkychunkymonkey]

those places suck..... 

[BipolarGrowth]

Doctors in psych wards have been some of the most “stage orange” people I’ve ever met. The medical model functions as anti-religious and anti-spiritual. In their eyes, any state of consciousness you’re experiencing cannot be due to spirituality or spiritual practice, it’s always due to mental illness

[thierry]

On 12/03/2024 at 10:33 PM, BipolarGrowth said:

Doctors in psych wards have been some of the most “stage orange” people I’ve ever met. The medical model functions as anti-religious and anti-spiritual. In their eyes, any state of consciousness you’re experiencing cannot be due to spirituality or spiritual practice, it’s always due to mental illness

Completely agreed, this experience is the best way to really see the limits of orange.

[Psychonaut]

 

On 12/03/2024 at 10:33 PM, BipolarGrowth said:

Doctors in psych wards have been some of the most “stage orange” people I’ve ever met. The medical model functions as anti-religious and anti-spiritual. In their eyes, any state of consciousness you’re experiencing cannot be due to spirituality or spiritual practice, it’s always due to mental illness

Yep. They actually ended up torturing me for 5 days in a closed cell from hell. Literally a room with a stainless steel toilet and a bed that was designed to pull heat from my body. They took everything from me, including my watch so I completely lost track of time, didn't eat anything and barely drank any water. It was quite the experience. To top it off I got a letter from the judge that I have "god complexes" and exhibit "religious compulsions". 

In my eyes they beat me down to stage BEIGE, but I didn't break and I never was openly aggressive to the staff, so their hands were tied. 2000 people died during 1933-1945 in this facility when the Nazis were doing tests on the patients. Nothing has changed since then, the room is the same...

Would not recommend anyone Stage YELLOW or above to go to a psych ward. We are far too kind and nice to these people that don't even understand their own system.

[Psychonaut]

On 11/03/2024 at 1:59 PM, Hojo said:

@OBEler yea its kinda like your girlfriend sent you to jail. and She thinks she has authority cause she puts people to sleep with gas?

She is now my ex girlfriend. She is moving out of my flat tomorrow and I will never see or talk to her again.

[Buck Edwards]

I was in a psych ward. Trust me it was the worst experience of my life hitherto. 

[OBEler]

Again what was the reason to go into psychward?were you psychotic?

[Yimpa]

4 hours ago, OBEler said:

Again what was the reason to go into psychward?were you psychotic?

I went when I was 15 years old. I was going so mad that at one point I tried throwing a pot at my mom’s head and it almost hit her.

12 years later and I’m in a much better place in my life. And my relationship with my mother is much healthier.

Edited March 21 by Yimpa

[Psychonaut]

On 11/03/2024 at 1:57 PM, OBEler said:

What was the reason that your girlfriend thought it would be a good idea 

I was somewhat psychotic, but instead of supporting me and maybe just asking some questions she just took me to the psych ward. 

[Thought Art]

What had happened? Why would you allow her to take you/ why did you choose to go?

[TheCloud]

On 3/11/2024 at 3:43 AM, Psychonaut said:

I landed in a closed psychiatric ward. My girlfriend drove me there, she is an anaesthetist. I am just a highly creative human though and I still am in the ward at this stage. Somehow she thought that was a good idea...

Your story is, essentially, one of a person experiencing psychosis ending up in a psychiatric ward.  Without mitigating details, that could very easily be mistaken for a good idea.  The story is very one-sided in its telling.

[Psychonaut]

On 24/03/2024 at 7:00 AM, Thought Art said:

What had happened? Why would you allow her to take you/ why did you choose to go?

It is a blur to me. I didn't want to go to a closed ward and I honestly thought that it would just be a visit and that they might be able to help me. I didn't know how different psychiatry is from psychotherapy. I went in there a bit naive and the entire setting made it much worse. 

I have finally been discharged, but I feel very empty at times, like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I have been deeply traumatised, especially as I was able to relate to the people in the ward and tried to help them. Now I am here and just wondering how I am supposed to rebuild myself. It is as if the energy has been sucked out of me.

[Yimpa]

9 minutes ago, Psychonaut said:

I have finally been discharged, but I feel very empty at times, like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I have been deeply traumatised, especially as I was able to relate to the people in the ward and tried to help them. Now I am here and just wondering how I am supposed to rebuild myself. It is as if the energy has been sucked out of me.

Do not give up. You still have the potential to get yourself out of a rut. Healing is an arduous journey, but it is one worth processing. Slowly, but surely.

[Psychonaut]

What is really evil, is that my business partner called my girlfriend and she told him that I was in psychiatry and a bunch of lies about me. Now he believes I am a risk to the startup we were building and he reduced my shares in the company.

[Buck Edwards]

28 minutes ago, Psychonaut said:

What is really evil, is that my business partner called my girlfriend and she told him that I was in psychiatry and a bunch of lies about me. Now he believes I am a risk to the startup we were building and he reduced my shares in the company.

I'm sorry this happened to you. You deserve much better. Don't be around reptiles. Surround yourself with people who trust you.