March | Pisces | 28 🌌♓

[Sabth]

I have gained a lot of weight since then. I was 45kg in the hospital. And last year I was 53. Now I'm 51. I'm losing my weight. And when I was younger, I was below that even. I lose weight a lot when I stayed home back then. 

[Sabth]

I got a really weird dream. A dream of unmatched torture... Idk

8:28AM could be that I brought this up back, the hospital... Someone was cooked alive , by one who have keep his rage for long. So it was like an immense torture. Since this guy never get the freedom to do what he wants. So when he get it, he became crazy/ unstoppable. Idk it's such a weird dream. I just thought that it was pure hell. Someone behind me. And I also went to this "Chinese village". In truth, it was that year, (last year) when I got to the hospital ,it was like a Chinese hospital. I was surrounded by Chinese. Doctors and patient alike. I became like Chinese. I think it was hell. Because I was taken away from my religious's system and brought into that. I feel like I wanna convert everyone. There is no such thing as mental illness in my religion. It's either I became like them or they became like me. I feel like I wanna convert everyone. My life was threatened. That thing shouldn't exist. (Hospital). I also find them to be very old , old school , traditional. Stuck maybe 50 years in the past. Everyone. For this work to still exist. It feels like I am being brought back to a really old era. Idk. Fucked up. You know I think a nurse job (or even a hospital) is a very old job. It shouldn't exist. It felt really outdated and very old fashioned. it felt like they are fucked up. 

[Sabth]

I regret having brought this up now my dreams appeared to be different . Yk The night before I got a dream of going up to a highland , there are friends and family (relatives ) in that dream , and many more. And the night before I got quite a good dream. I wish to maintain my flow. Nah. Let's get furthest away from this  . 

Edited April 2 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I would give them a piece of clothing each , and I would brought them to the holy mosques Mecca & Medina each.. that's what should be happening. It's the only way I could save myself (but it ain't happening). 

So I go through what I go through. 

[Sabth]

My only thought was that.  To save myself. It was the only right thing to do. What should be..

[Sabth]

The ideals~ but ain't happening ~ ~ 

Edited April 2 by Sabth

[Sabth]

This at least is modern. To the present moment. 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=RoKdznkZ92k&si=53xotc39YGDOOVvi&feature=xapp_share

 

Edited April 2 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I can't wait to work and get my own money ~> 

[Sabth]

You can get angpao's from banks and shopping mall, but I want something truly unique, so I bought papers to make one myself . I know it wouldn't be as good as the banks angpao's. But I still wanna try this regardless.

I bought various types of papers from China. 

 

[Sabth]

On 4/1/2024 at 2:15 PM, Sabth said:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSF4mrGGs/

These brands makes me want to make my own angpaos ~

[Sabth]

All the things that I wanna buy and do cost like this car. Can I do it? 

idk. 538k. Or $114k. This is a family car. I personally wouldn't buy it. But what I want costs like this car. Is it much ? Or not much?. 

[Sabth]

Now my old case can rest in peace : 

I've used it for a little over a year. 

Edited April 3 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I'm so tired today. 

3:10PM

[Sabth]

. 

 

 

 

Edited April 3 by Sabth

[Sabth]

.

 

Edited April 4 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Yesterday I thought of buying my sister gifts. And I ended up buying her this 

(Idk if this is okay or not , this gift) 

Things I wish to buy : 

Things I bought : 

Edited April 4 by Sabth

[Sabth]

All of my phone cases had arrived. 

[Sabth]

The only thing I found interesting just now :

(I looks better in real life than in pictures. )

 

[Sabth]

I really wish that I could continue my studies, rather than not doing anything. 

[Sabth]

1. Skincare ($106)
2. Album ($26)
3. Ring ($141)
4. Prayer mat ($20)
5. Bear bag ($40)
6. Burga ($85)
7. Sony ($2173)

Edited April 5 by Sabth