March | Pisces | 28 🌌♓

[Sabth]

Curse be upon

Curse be upon 

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon 

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

Curse be upon

[Sabth]

I shouldn't have asked my mom who took my diaries , because she could have been one of them . /The ones who took it. Silly me. Fuck. 

[Sabth]

I have wrote about some nasty things about how I don't wanna have anything to do with someone who is in contact with someone whom I don't wanna have anything to do with. Because you are who you spent your time with. You became them and they became you. This is the reason why I limit my contact back then. During COVID. I no longer wanna be in contact with them because they are in contact with someone whom I don't wanna have anything to do with. I see it how they turns to become each other. And I don't wanna be like the other person. So I keep myself furthest away. 

[Sabth]

On 11/17/2023 at 5:48 AM, Sabth said:

Social relationship influence . 

There was a time when I could see people changes with whom they spent their time with . And was repelled by that. If you are my friend then you can't meet my parents or it was a betrayal on your part. (Because they would start to act the same. Upon encounter. There is an integration, when I want you to be more original and authentic. )

Anyway I started to hate everyone who met my parents. Or there was such thing like i don't like my parents be with certain people. Because they would act the same /turns similar. You are whom you spend your time with/interact with.. so there are times when I hate my parents because they are with someone I hate. And I see them changes/influence each other or becoming each other. It was just a whole lot of a nightmare.. the way they speak and I see these. You just have to make a boundaries. This happened during the x

And I see their voices started to sound the same. 

Now, everything had died out. I will cut even my closest people if they have been infected with someone I hate. Influence with. There was such a time. It just repelled me. 

This^

Edited March 29 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I wonder if it was because of this that they steal from me. 

[Sabth]

Like 

I don't wanna be like you fuck no

But then they wanna integrate with me. 

No. 

[Sabth]

This is a private matter and I wouldn't have bring it up in real life. 

[Sabth]

My artworks, gold, diaries, academic certificate, phone . Books

[Sabth]

16 hours ago, Sabth said:

Good healthcare

Clean and safe housing
Healthy food
A job that pays a living wage. 

Dentist
A house
Food
A job

personal health (physical, mental, and spiritual), relationships, education status, work environment, social status, wealth, a sense of security and safety, freedom, autonomy in decision-making, social-belonging and their physical surroundings.

15 hours ago, Sabth said:

I shall look into this more. 

This, while waiting for the sun to set, I went out looking at the surrounding of the house. I think this house surrounding had becomes a hard forest. It's too hard to do anything about it anymore. It felt so concrete and wild. I don't know. There's definitely nothing that I could do with it. The state that it had becomes now, after almost two decades, this is what it has becomes. I don't know . (As I said before, my father had spoilt the house) . But back then, it was even more lively than now. Now I just saw sharp plants and greeneries. It was too wild and foresty. I can't do nothing about it. Definitely. (Back then I still think that I could make it good but now..  ) It was just too hard. 

[Sabth]

Well, I shall act like this house ain't mine. It was my father's . That's why it's not pretty. 

 

 

(What do you mean? I grow up here.  )

Edited March 29 by Sabth

[Sabth]

This block of concrete had been added to the side of the house

 . Otherwise there's a patio and a play area there. Which allows ventilation in the house. 

[Sabth]

We have been attacked. 

If you look at this : 

This is a three drawers/cupboards. All the four of us have it. But one is already missing. And two was already destroyed. As a person who takes care of her things well (me), only my cupboard was still good and is being used up until December 2022. The others they no longer use it or keep it inside the house or keep their things in it. But I have it. And I put my things in it. Even though I am no longer using the things in it, but it is a storage. Which I keep my things. Including two bibles. And many books and other things. 

Basically I still keep it tidy in my room while others had destroyed theirs. But in 2022, when they put me into the mental hospital , my mom said she transferred everythings in it in my brother's "plastic" drawers(/cupboard). This is wood. And we all have it. BUT, some things are missing.... Not everything but some things... My academic certificate and my self portrait (a painting) which I put in a drawing block inside the second drawer/cupboard. But only those are missing. And my bibles and my book. I don't know if there's anything else that I didn't notice. Which went missing. But these things, are gone. And look, my father (or whoever that is) put my good condition cupboard/drawers  together with the ones that had breaks and wears out.... 

look at this. It wasn't broken or ugly. Mine is still good. But my father put it outside in the ugly (zinc)store that he built (during the pandemic)

And put it together with those that are broken. Evil. 

 

Korea🍭

If I went to Korea, I want to do my nails and my hair. And then probably enjoy the weather. Apart from the food. 

(^This is something that I write yesterday. Korea) 

Edited March 29 by Sabth

[Sabth]

It wasn't too long ago that we move to this house. 14 years ago? Or thirteen.  

[Sabth]

59 minutes ago, Sabth said:

We have been attacked. 

If you look at this : 

This is a three drawers/cupboards. All the four of us have it. But one is already missing. And two was already destroyed. As a person who takes care of her things well (me), only my cupboard was still good and is being used up until December 2022. The others they no longer use it or keep it inside the house or keep their things in it. But I have it. And I put my things in it. Even though I am no longer using the things in it, but it is a storage. Which I keep my things. Including two bibles. And many books and other things. 

Basically I still keep it tidy in my room while others had destroyed theirs. But in 2022, when they put me into the mental hospital , my mom said she transferred everythings in it in my brother's "plastic" drawers(/cupboard). This is wood. And we all have it. BUT, some things are missing.... Not everything but some things... My academic certificate and my self portrait (a painting) which I put in a drawing block inside the second drawer/cupboard. But only those are missing. And my bibles and my book. I don't know if there's anything else that I didn't notice. Which went missing. But these things, are gone. And look, my father (or whoever that is) put my good condition cupboard/drawers  together with the ones that had breaks and wears out.... 

look at this. It wasn't broken or ugly. Mine is still good. But my father put it outside in the ugly (zinc)store that he built (during the pandemic)

And put it together with those that are broken. Evil. 

 

 

I went on to look for all the pictures that I had, of this cupboard from back then. 🤭

It is actually a desk. But I retained only a part of it and break the other half/part. 

This picture is taken in March 12 , 2011 when I do the makeover. I only keep the cupboards and discarded the desk and the other parts of it. 🔨

Edited March 29 by Sabth

[Sabth]

I really wish to be rich now. 

[Sabth]

My mom's phone is in a really bad condition. 

This is my phone :

I couldn't take any photo of it until I have an ipad.

I despise oppo, but this, I bought it. Because I was really weak when I get out of the hospital back then (2023 last year). 

[Sabth]

Somewhere in 2020? My mom wants to buy me a phone but she bought me an oppo. And I really hated it so I sold it and buy Samsung. I don't know. Because back then, it was candy like. (Colour) And I thought it was good. But interior, internally I like Samsung better. 

Now I'm just getting used to it. Oppo. I don't know. Cuz I really despise it back then. Then I bought a white Samsung. Which I think is a mistake. I should have bought black. Because white is like erasing your memories..everything. and black retaining everything... But this oppo, when I buy it black, I think I regret it. I should have buy some colours. But my life is gone/wasted anyway. So I no longer care. So I will use it until whenever. I bought it earlier last year. 

And it's still good like new. Except the cover. Which wears out. 

(I don't know why my older phones breaks). One I forgot the password and the other, I can still open it *and read my diaries* but other than that, it's full. So I can't do anything else in it. There are some few songs and recordings from back then. My first phone. And my other phone got stolen. The latest one before this. 

[Sabth]

This , 

I had this Samsung . 

And Huawei and Samsung (1st phone.)

Both of these phones can still be opened but one I forgot it's password.  

 

This is the phone that I use to take selfies (in videos form) for years , but when I get to the white Samsung, the apps that I had used for years , no longer make such video form. So I can no longer do it. Such a pity. Or maybe it is just my phone. I don't know. Cuz I can no longer do it. Maybe I should try do it on Samsung. Idk. As far as I remember, this feature no longer exist. 

And I lost a lot of my pic. Only those that I share remains. I wish I would hv shared more. My life should be an open book back then. Only then it will be retained. But it all was lost. Except the ones I shared. Silly. 

Edited March 29 by Sabth

[Sabth]

About not wanting to be like them , all of my family was using oppo back then. And I despise it. I dont know.. 

[Sabth]

I don't like to buy something until I wears out something. 

 

If my phone break down or if I ever be rich : 

One is expensive and the other , not so much. But I'll use my oppo until it can no longer be used.

Edited March 29 by Sabth