Search the Community

I believe it. Sky-high suicide rates for trans people is a statistic that speaks for itself. This is not the argument, it is the insanity of prioritising the 1% over the 99% then expecting to win elections (yes, the right does this to, but they at least pretend that their economic theories will benefit the whole). Issues like fair living wages, opposing corrupt lobbyist groups, safe working conditions, sustainable population growth (including immigration) and clean air affect the vast majority. A proper left-wing culture would place issues like these first. Yes, the far-right is uniquely militant. No effort is made to act in good faith, as the name of the game is winning at any cost. This is partly necessary as they do represent a minority who must compensate for their numbers with sheer aggression. They do, but in the process they form a very divided culture. For example, the feminist groups would want a woman as president regardless of policies on the myriad of complex issues. (All things being equal, I'd support this, but it does defy commonsense in practice.) Such voters would not want to support any male candidate. Again, we have a situation where the left has divorced itself from being sensible and reasonable, being too at war with itself to be compelling to an average person. Those who voted for Trump in the hope of bitch-slapping the left into being sane again have a valid grievance that sadly has still not been properly recognised by the mainstream.

In a single payer system, your out of pocket expenses will decrease. Even though taxes go up, there will be no copays or deductibles so you will be saving money. Why would you want to pay extra money to billionaire health insurance CEOs for substandard health care and to corrupt pharmaceuticals that put profits over people. The pharmaceutical-engineered opioid crises was a massive violence that caused immense suffering to millions of people. And pharmaceutical companies got away with it. There is massive waste in health care right now. The U.S. has one of the most wasteful health care systems in the world. Well, actually that “waste” is our money getting funneled to corrupt health insurance / pharmaceutical CEOs and lobbyists. And who are these “lazy” people you are referring to? Poor people that are unemployed? Even if we provide the poor with healthcare and they don’t pay into it, everyone’s cost goes down. What you are saying is that you would rather pay MORE money to corrupt billionaires for an inefficient shitty healthcare system, than pay LESS money for a superior health care system if that means “lazy” people get it for free. . . This is the classic culture war that republicans and corporate democrats use to distract us from seeing corrupt plutocrats are screwing us over. And Universal Healthcare will increase the health of the entire society. It is a far superior system, you will save money, your health care will not be owned by your employer and the health of society will increase. No developed country in the world would trade their M4A system for the U.S. system. The most conservative politicians in Canada would never run against M4A, it would be political suicide. I agree that some on the left can be dogmatic have have little tolerance for dissenting views. Yet I also think what the views are is important. If I disagree with someone on the left about the best strategy on how to get M4A. For example, some on the left have been annoyingly dogmatic about forcing an M4A vote. I would probably favor this strategy, yet their are also other strategies to consider and some on the left can get locked into one strategy and get so annoying. Yet this is very different than someone trying to undercut progress toward M4A.The U.S. is decades behind other countries on health care. There are a lot of people suffering and a lot of people on the left are fed up with factually incorrect arguments from the Republicans and corporate Dems like “M4A will cost us trillions more and we can’t afford it”. I would say educating people to overcome right wing and neoliberal propaganda is important, yet sometimes it gets frustrating for the left and they get tired of the bullshit and lose their patience. A good example would be Vaush. Imo, he is doing a good job overall educating the public and persuading people, yet sometimes he gets so frustrated he has emotional tantrums and unloads on people. Yet I would agree that there are some on the left that have a lot of energy. This energy is important for progress, yet it can also lead to confrontations.

Tuesday 29/12/2020 23:56 I've got my sleep regular and early, exceptionally rare for me, and have been working out. But nothing changes. Very few people are aware of what actual futility means, and of what it means to see that you're a false self. No matter what I do, no matter what ideology or hobby I pick up, the hidden motive to make these things fill some whole or define me fails. It's painful to see how you're a false character, and it's crazy when others don't see it in themselves.They are totally immersed in the dream, no doubt or suspicion, from the womb to the grave without a hitch. There are also those who explore the depths of their egos in wonderlands of mysticism and paint the spiritual path as one of infinite accumulation. This is false, the path is one of subtraction and self dissolution. I can now consciously admit to myself that a lot of my disturbances have been due to my old self dying. And that's unfortunate because, I don't think this is a good thing, so far it seems like only another hell awaits me from leaving this hell. -- I thought that I was willing to forfeit my life (not physical suicide) for the sake of whatever must manifest. But I see that such a commitment requires entering grief and a lot of suffering. And I don't know if I can ever muster the courage and strength of will for it. There is no point to life, and that's obvious to anyone. But nonetheless, the show goes on. Many a time I try to "stand tall" to the winds of negative emotion, but the oak tree only falls over. And I can feel that the wind will knock me over, again and again, untill I'm willing to simply let go. Let go, and let the feeling grind and rub against my core being. Still need the warrior mindset, just in a different form. Time to Captain Ahab and Eren Jeager this bitch up. The jihad on your life. ?La vida sola vi vivirás ?

My younger sister (19) is currently in a relationship with a guy who is 37. I am trying to be open minded and all but I am still a bit concerned about this, especially since I am the only one who knows about their relationship because she doesn't what to tell anyone else from our family (it would be a suicide if she did, lol). As far as a guy is concerned he seems to be nice. He is an english teacher and they share lots of common interests like meditation, yoga, chakras and stuff. I haven't met him in person, but I saw his pictures and he doesn't look like a sociopath serial killer, lol. The only shady thing that I've noticed is that they met on tinder and he lied about his age in his profile and didn't confess for like a month. His excuse was that he was afraid that my sister would leave him and he didn't want that to happen since he liked her so much. P.S. it's not like my opinion would change anything because I trust my sister with the responsibility to handle her relationships herself anyway.

Coming for a check in after some days lag. 1.What where you doing before the thread was opened? Anything important? Was tending my garden and looking after the Christmas decorations 2. How did you get to where you are now? Walked 3. Do you really know if you were doing anything before opening this thread? Yea. 4. If applicable, what did you block out to focus on the check in? I had such dark thoughts about suicide. I wanted Christmas to be a happy one. So I'm going to start a daily prayer service. 5. What is now, compared to before? Maybe and hopefully positive 6. Who am I? A character in a play. 5. Is this a dream? Maybe a nightmare ----------------------------- Further questions presented by @Preety_India 8. Am I more focused now than before? Sort of. I'm trying to increase my focus by doing the following daily checks and along with this awareness checks to feel alive and active during this winter. I need to do a regular temperature check on myself from today because I've been feeling sick. Next I want to do a Daily activity and Daily alertness test.. So these checks or tests Daily Awareness check Daily Alertness check Daily Temperature test Daily Emotional Test (since I feel suicidal almost every 3rd day of the week) Daily Activity check Daily Productivity Test 9. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the strongest) what is my focus level today or now? At most 3.

It depends. I agree with the stoic views on suicide. The best end to a good life is a good death. If I am ever at the point where I ACTUALLY have nobody who is dependent on me and most of my family is dead and i get something like cancer I beleive i would head down to a woods or something and just appreciate how great life has been and take myself out while I'm still in good mind. Ending life with no recolection of it and in intense pain is always another option. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://orb.binghamton.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi%3Farticle%3D1183%26context%3Dsagp&ved=2ahUKEwjzyIeuvuftAhWIq1kKHYljB9gQFjACegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw1hnOA9ZS8FrT9PEpC0xdeB

I think it's better to not bring more living beings to existence. Yes, logically, people should, but maybe not all people. That's my personal little opinion. Feel free to disagree. I hope I'm allowed to say this opinion. It's very politically incorrect to say it but.. it is what it is.. sorry. There are probably a few people who have a pleasant life which is worth living. The problem is that we are equipped with a integrated strong survival instinct. Which wins over pretty much anything, rationality, etc. So because of that you can get trapped in life, even if you don't want to live. It's like a prison. -------------------- "There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest — whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories — comes afterwards. These are games; one must first answer." - Albert Camus -------------------- "If I were to be totally sincere, I would say that I do not know why I live and why I do not stop living. The answer probably lies in the irrational character of life which maintains itself without reason." "Nothing is better proof of how far humanity has regressed than the impossibility of finding a single nation, a single tribe, among whom birth still provokes mourning and lamentations." "I long to be free—desperately free. Free as the stillborn are free." "Without the faculty of forgetting, our past would weigh so heavily on our present that we should not have the strength to confront another moment, still less to live through it. Life would be bearable only to frivolous natures, those in fact who do not remember." "Better to be an animal than a man, an insect than an animal, a plant than an insect, and so on." "Salvation? Whatever diminishes the kingdom of consciousness and compromises its supremacy." - Emil M. Cioran I think in most cases there is more suffering and struggle than joy.

Ofcourse. Usually is a shit choice tho. Too controlled by illusions most of the time when such a decision is taken. But if taken in wisdom, not so much a shit choice. Only wise suicide I can think of really is either Mahasamadhi or choosing to die before without suffering of a terminal illness (Like severe Radiation Poisoning, etc.)

I was contemplating and I got an insight... The question here is: Should suicide be facilitated and organized by government? And my answer is: If we were at that level of understanding, no one would want to commit suicide in the first place. The main reason why people would hate being alive is because of the abuse that others execute all the time. Suicide is basically a reaction to the limitations that are imposed on the ability to live a decent life. It is a reaction to the retarded & corrupt capitalist system that we currently have. Abusers at the top of the capitalist system would never want to facilitate such a thing because it goes against their agendas of greed and expansion. An image of slaves 2500 years B.C. jumping off of the Egyptian pyramids comes to mind.

Hey @PhilGR, If we are not talking about the 'good' and 'bad' aspects of it, and just are talking about their right to take away their lives - what do you have to say about these two examples - are both these situations the same? 1) A 17 year old jumping off the building after a heartbreak 2) A suicide bomber in a mall. They both wish to commit the same act - but should both have the same right? If you tell that the suicide bomber shouldn't be given the right because he will end up killing other people - you have already taken a moral position, and there is a presupposition of certain ethical standards - and hence, it becomes relative.

ofc not, all suicide committers should be thrown in jail, CRIMINAL SCUM

To assume that anyone is in the position to decide whether we are allowed to commit suicide or not is exactly the same as assuming to be in a position of deciding over someone else's life/death altogether. Are you allowed to live? Well, nobody is in the position to decide that for someone else, at least according to our common sense and law.* Are you allowed to die? Do you see how this is basically the same question? *I live in Europe; death penalty is not allowed, so my reasoning might vary to the laws of your particular country.

Unlike you LMFAO You didn't answer my question about free samples, why is that? Let's try again Have you ever seen free samples? How is giving away food supposed to make companies money? I guess we'd find out or Jeff and Amazon would take the let's say 10 million dollar loss, would likely be suicide inducing and devastating, but it is what it is. 10 million for 100billionaire is a lot or something, 10 million for a trillion dollar company is a ton or sumfin.

@Shyamal I'm with you and can feel your pain. I lost 2 of my only true friends both to suicide. I think for 80% of people they just need more opportunity, something to aim towards, a sense of hope and more social connections, more activity. ** Having said that though, one of the friends had plenty opportunity, I wonder if some people just get depression too bad, genetic susceptibility. I feel that mushrooms might have helped him.

Ive tried so many things this past ten years and nothing works, i am having suicidal thoughts on a regular bases, i think that i wont commit suicide because i want to solve this shit first..

Yea it's silly but it probably comes from the idea that you can't get hurt if you're perfect or something like that. Also comparing your insides (insecurities, feelings, tension etc) to other people outside appearance. But a lot of times people make a great appearance but it's the opposite on the inside as we for example see with suicide in hollywood stars, ceo's etc. Do you have any tips or techniques for embracing every part of your being?

Wed 12/16/2020 22:38 I am deeply, deeply unsatisfied with life. I'm not as neurotic about it, my mind feels relatively stable and calm strangely. But the depth to this sense is all-encompassing and existential. Feel good, feel bad, high, low, what's the point of that? " The meaning is to be happy " ? " I'll exist and then I'll die". The human condition feels shitty. I'll exist and then I'll die. I'll exist and then I'll die. "Who will die?" is the question I suppose -- Screw the people who challenge this nihilism with naivety and denial -- Have I created a circular loop here? I get this sense that perhaps I have, upon trying to investigate. I have to open to the fact I won't get an answer. But I guess I really am trying to look at what triggers it and..... Mind is going blank, just this entanglement of things There's something but it's so slippery ______________________________ Recently I was quite ecstatic and joyous ( not right now though) , I feel the return of myself after stopping SSRI's. A literal 6th or 7th sense to my perception and consciousness has returned more now. 23:00 I feel so incredibly tempted to drown out my awareness. My mind was calm but it's a slow crescendo of chaos. I'll go meditate, even though my mind is quite literally scared that such a thing would be suicide, but that's fear mongering. +1 ,00:32 I feel amazingly manic, overflowing with energy. I meditated, with no method, but with my entire being , all my heart and soul, I was intent on breaking through. Unexpected shifts happened as lots of energy and things just bubbling up, in a good and neutral way. The intense focus and drive to breakthrough, that's probably "masculine". And I feel overflowing with it. But near the end of the session, I noticed that I was tensed too much, and needed to relax this manic alpha-male drive. The image which came to my mind of this over tensing was a meshed grid made out of dirt. All that focusing and intensity, it now feels painful and draining. Yet, "surrendering" it also feels painful. There's this constant back and forth, oscillating, between ('two', as the categories are drawn) different approaches. My intense focus and drive was necessary. But now I have to surrender it, otherwise I shall burn out from all that forcing. But surrendering this, it feels so very difficult, because my energy is so overwhelmingly large. "ego inflation" perhaps. A much needed inflation. -- My underlying questions that I poured my entire being to meditate on, why I suffer, what's the meaning of life, they weren't answered. And I haven't forgot that. Mania and energy is cool but I'm not satisfied by theatrics. I will keep waging war, I will keep pouring my entire being, because there is literally nothing else. This is the one and only thing I care about, all else can burn to the ground. "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists."

@Enlightenment This is for MAJOR depression thou. That's the suicidal type where people unless sedated, can end up taking their life. For MDD antidepressants work well. The problem is that most people suffer from mild-to-moderate depression. Research shows that when compared with placebo even the most effective antidepressants like fluoxetine actually don't produce a lot of long term results. And when compared with herbs like St John's Wort, Saffron or 5-HTP there is actually very little difference (for mild or moderate). None of the herbs are effective for major depression thou. I think generally the drugs are used so that the doctors cover themselves in case the patient tries to kill themselves. If you, as a doctor, don't prescribe antidepressants and the patients commits suicide, you will lose license and can end up jailed if they prove that it was your fault. This is basically why all these toxic drugs are prescribed very often. Same for statins and diabetes drugs. Most of it is medical system covering itself and creating a sense that there is no other solution. A lot of people take these drugs for years and nobody ever investigated. It becomes part of their life, they learn to associate with the disease and they become the disease. I don't know if you ever knew a depressed person but they become The disease. The anxiety becomes the centre of their life and they will not let you help them even if you want to. This is partially why working with mental health is extremely difficult because most people don't believe it can be treated.

@No Self @kag101 @evgn I am sorry to all of you for ignoring your advice and not being willing and not checking afterward about the rest of the responses that appeared on this thread for life situation advice and answers for me. I am re-visiting this thread because I had a similar mind and emotional hit just now similarly when I wrote this thread when I was reading from and studying from a book for an English exam on 15th of November, this time I attempted to force myself to study and stay focused to read a more demanding and thicker book that I need to read as a part for an obligatory written paper I need to send for a crucial exam on 29th of December, under similarly felt crucial life obligation circumstances and challenges, when I wrote this thread the strong thought identification pattern with my mother and of me reliving a part her state of being right after she committed suicide 15 years ago exactly on 25th of December 2005. as my father told me on Saturday and he felt similarly strong emotional pressure and composure difficulties because of the nearing of that date that he justified as the reason why he mistreated and yelled out of panic and fear at my grandmother, which I now live with, for being suspicious she will leave a larger part of my passed grandfather's apartment to his sister than him and emerged used to justify the strongly felt victim mentality that I can't do this now for my life, challenge and mental growth sake and for the sake of other's, especially financially my father, who's consequences of me not being able to give enough exam's means that I will lose my mother's pension which helps me finance my studies in the first place and which my father relies on to cover the expenses of his apartment and which means I would lose the ability to finance my studies and would have to find and work a job with no qualifications and almost no work experience and skills. Sorry again for not responding to your comments and advice earlier and taking them heart during that time a month ago but I will re-read them and strive to take them to the heart during this very critical and hard time for me in order to achieve some of the necessary tasks I need to accomplish in order to be able to participate in exams that my main motives, thoughts, and feelings during the day now direct me and push me towards achieving them for financial as well as for above-mentioned reasons but also a part of me that I try to re-surface through short meditation routines during the day from time to time for needing to experience this as a challenge that will determine will I be able to do this for the sake of me being fulfilled, relatively secure of remaining a student for the next couple of months and not needing to leave faculty as a result immediately and look for a job and happy and other people that partly rely on me and the outcome of these exams obligations and upcoming exams that I need to register.

Every death is suicide, we poison our selves everyday. Alcohol, medication, sugar, fatty foods, etc. the only difference is same day death or 60 years later death, it's all suicide.

@DecemberFlower Two years of personal growth work is actually not a very long time. I've been working on myself since I was 16 (after my only suicide attempt) and I didn't really see the best results until maybe a few years ago (age 37). I'm 39 now. Don't worry -- I'm not saying it will take you 20+ years to see results; I also had some serious health problems to attend to. What I am saying is that you will be working on yourself the rest of your life (as we all should be) as there is always something to work on. That said, I think what you are getting at, that your girlfriend is no longer a good fit for you, is a sign of major progress. Your intuition is telling you to move on, which is very scary since this is your first relationship. However, it's very natural in the process of personal development for your life to turn upside down and look like you're going backward when what is actually happening is that you're making major progress. It just doesn't look like it right now as you don't have much in the physical world to show for it yet. If your intuition is telling you it's time to move on, I would do it before life forces you to have a painful breakup. Life has a way of moving you when you don't want to move. Someone asked me earlier today how to tell the difference between fear and intuition. It's a skill set that gets better over time, but my rule of thumb is if the voice in your head is making you upset (angry, nervous, etc.) it's fear/ego. If it is calming you down, even if it's bad news, it's intuition. You can always go back to college and finish if you like. You can learn a trade. You can start a YouTube channel. I think your intuition is on point like it is with your girlfriend -- you're 30 now and it's time to grow up and start doing the adulting thing. This is actually where I was 9 years ago, so congratulations. I'm not even saying it will take you 9 years, I can't guarantee a time frame. What I am saying is to follow your intuition. Your path will look weird and unpredictable to some, but your intuition will take you on the right path, and potentially the most direct one. Good luck with everything, and keep us updated on your progress.

@electroBeam I'm being honest with you cuz it might be helpful. But you are about as delusional as you can get in this thread. Just insane nihilism is all I'm hearing. stop spreading nonsense and encouraging suicide as the "point of life". "They don't resonate "because This forum is filled with intelligent people. You are not fooling anyone here. "the point of life" is clearly nothing but however you want. It's not an object that you discover. It's a subjective made up. The point of life is relative. It's a fabrication. So it might be the point of your life. But that doesn't mean it's the point of my life. Actually it's perfectly obvious that life is pointless. So even to say "happiness" "love" Yada Yada is still not correct. You talk about radical honesty and being a true seeker.. Well have the courage to admit that the actual point of life is ofcourse nothing but a subjective opinion. And that physical death might be just the point of YOUR perhaps "not smooth" life.

I'm very hesitant to talk about it TBH because its so radical and not many want to hear it. But yes you're correct. I have seen for myself that Full Awakening is not the highest, FULL AWAKENING is. You can be in a state where if you had a gun to your head, you'd 100% accept it. You'd still go through some negative emotions, yet you'll watch those emotions from a distance and let it flow through. And that's because there's no human you, and this entire life was just a way of setting yourself up to fall in love with yourself really hard (infinite love realization). That's the state I'm in now. Yet I am definitely not awake. No where close. But you're still hiding something even when you're in Full Awakening. You're playing the game. Playing the game is actually you hiding something if you look close enough(if you dare bahahahaha). You're hiding the fact that the whole point of life is mahasamadhi. Physical death. Suicide(actual 100% dementia, not some pseudo death where you still remember your name and who you are and the forum and your parents ). That's actually the point of it. Physical death isn't some cool phenomena that happens in the game. Its the point. The whole point is infinite dementia amnesia love. I heard from somewhere that Full Awakening is looking at the infinite from the finite mind. FULL AWAKENING is looking at the infinite from the infinite mind. IE dementia. You need to let go of everything to the point of dementia to be fully awake. Its not awakening if you still remember who you are and who others are and what the game is. The game needs to be totally eradicated for full awakening. I didn't realize that before the trip. I thought I was 100% awake, then that trip smashed me to pieces. I'm now just totally shocked, and I can see a trillion times more games being played on myself and others. And I can see that others are either at Full Awakening, or lower, and that's how I know on a relative level that people don't understand or get what I'm saying. The discussion between james and inenlightened is happening somewhere inbetween awakening and full awakening. Its very subtle. People are making that mistake about me on this thread. Their eyes aren't keen enough. They think I'm parroting what yogis have been saying for thousands of years, but I'm not. I'm saying something subtly different. Thoughts and the ego is amazingly sneaky. Within "who is the I that's saying that" lies a trillion opportunities for the ego to deceive. Context is important. Whose saying it is important. Just parroting "who is the I that's saying that" without acknowledgement of who and context allows the ego to be very very sneaky and clever. It allows the ego to make you think no self realization is the end of the road, when its actually mahasamadhi. People aren't taking in the context with what I'm saying. Mahasamadhi is not 0 thoughts. Mahasamadhi is a huge paradigm shift. No thoughts is 1 state of consciousness, not the highest. Definitely not the scariest, and definitely not the point. Yep sure there's no point to life and everything is just a dance, yet you will continue to seek, grow, integrate till mahasamadhi. Your desire is not to be in a state where you're playing the game. Your desire is to destroy the game forever, but you're too afraid to, so here you are. 0 thoughts is not destroying the game and getting amnesia. 0 thoughts is just a temporary state of consciousness that flees when you go back to looking at this forum for example lol. And even then, 0 thoughts is something that happens very early on in the path. As you advance you realize that thoughts occur, but not in your head, but in the universe. Its the universe thinking, not your skull. 0 thoughts is completely irrelevant to mahasamadhi. Even physical death doesn't describe mahasamadhi. Because if the average person dies, they'll just reincarnate. Mahasmadhi is knowing something that will change you so much that the dream gets destroyed. Its like once I know this I can't reincarnate ever again. I can't play the game ever again. I will never have parents ever again. I will never identify with blabla ever again. I will be infinite formlessness without a game for eternity. Physical death isn't knowing that, physical death is ignorance. Mahasamadhi is way more destructive and radical then physical death. I just use physical death as an example to illustrate the radicalness of what I'm talking about, because I know that enlightened beings still don't want physical death. But what I'm talking about is more getting an infinite nuclear bomb and ruining your chances of reincarnating into a form ever again.

"call off the search", "you woke from the dream to realise", "the waking dream was also dreamed" is definitely a very scary but important part of the path. You are this human in a 3D world, and your existence depends on the form of that human. The 3D world wont die, but your existence will. Fast forward to ego death and then you realize the 3D world doesn't exist, and you are not the human form but the present moment itself(no self realization). Then its all about living your life from that perspective for the next 60 years or so for most people. Been there. That's not what this post is about. As shockingly absurd as it would sound to you, you're not awake. All that stuff, is relative to the spiritual path. Machine elves don't have the same spiritual paths we do. Living your life from a state of no realization or even infinite love realization is all relative to the human form still. Doesn't matter that you're self realized, if you've got any honesty in you, you'd notice that if I put a gun to your head, especially if you're as young as 23, you'd still not be happy about it. You can still tell a difference between now and gun to your head and shot. See the woke people on here can talk all day about "whose the I thats saying all this" or "there is no death", yet there's a big difference between talking and doing, and I'd love to get a bunch of self realized beings, put a gun to their head, and demonstrate their reaction, to show that. Psychedelics are a great way of simulating that, and in my case I almost physically died. You can say that alan watts crap of "oh im afraid, but im not afraid of being afraid, and ill 100% accept the fear" crap all you like, but no matter whether you're state is constantly self realization or not, you will not be ok with gun to your head. Simple. No one on here is awake. I know that for a fact, because I created everyone. 100% awake is complete dementia. Not human level dementia, god level dementia(and isn't this God damn obvious? You, the self realized being, are still ensuring you don't get hit by a bus. What drive is causing that? Devilry, ignorance, not wanting the truth, not wanting mahasamadhi, because you aren't awake. Once you're truly awake, you will be so demented that you wont know what getting hit by a bus is). Its forgetting to such an extreme level that if I asked you what your name was you'd act like you have dementia. Its complete and utter amnesia. Amnesia to the point that you'd forget what amnesia is. On the relative plane, its leaving the body. If you're not demented, then you aren't awake. And you're not, because you're still talking to me. True awake is physical death, not ego death. Ego death is fooling around. You might be awake, yet you're still integrating, still growing. And you're still integrating and growing because you still aren't satisfied. You might think you're satisfied without an ego, but you aren't, you're just pseudo satisfied. Its quite obvious, if you were 100% satisfied you wouldnt be integrating or growing at all. And that's because the only thing that will 100% fulfill you is physical death. Gun to your head. I'm not advocating suicide. But what I am saying is "what happens now" is trying to commit suicide without doing it directly. That's your goal, and objective, and you don't realize it. Because you don't realize it, you create heaps of self deception and schemes and plans for ensuring you don't commit suicide. Yet suicide is exactly what you want. That's the game you're playing, trying to commit suicide without committing suicide, whether you think you're awake or not. Anyway, this post will get negative reactions by lots, because I've also seen how hard people hide from the truth. And I just don't want to deal with it. I've got my own issues to deal with after seeing the stuff I saw on that trip, and all I'm interested in doing in sharing other parts of the map as forestluv would describe it. I'm not interested in debating your map. If you're genuinely curious about seeing more then you think you know, I can help you there easily. But I'm not good at helping you debate your own map. Go to the enlightened beings on here for that. Meme at the very top of the original post

The stronger the ego the most dramatic it will be if it gets shuttered. For example a millionaire that loses all of his money is going to commit suicide. This is the best opportunity for him to transcend his ego without hurting the body. Suffering in whatever form is the thing that can push you to transcend the ego. If you are able to suffer your ego is already strong enough. It is not necessary but it will happen anyway in your life so if it happens use it. Find the good in a bad situation.