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For a large part of the path you will not be "done" or "there". Order, chaos, order, chaos. Breaking down, emerging, breaking down, emerging. Your peace and bliss will deepen, and so will your challenges. Sometimes you will feel like you are not going anywhere, like you should feel like you are always going up but in reality it feels like sideways and backwards. You may even think you're doing things wrong, especially compared to those around you. Hang in and return to your practice. Ground yourself in what deep down you know is going to pay off. It takes courage. Stay strong and remind yourself of what drew you here in the first place. Meditation can make some weird shit arise in your experience as you engage with supressed and deep parts of your pysche. Keep breathing brother, you are not alone.

Hey guysss and girlzz. I want to tell you a story here today on how Leo’s latest holism videos have helped me heal my mind. So first I want to say that I have a lot of aspirations for life and they have been growing by the day. The thing is I have had a lot of motivation, but I lack the self self-discipline. I can’t focus, I can’t concentrate on anything because I keep eating crappy food, bouncing around between YouTube and video games, and jerking off to pictures of hot girls. I remember I saw this picture of some cute attractive guy and I was like “What the fuck I am doing, turn that gay shit off.”(hint).I was struggling to focus on really anything at all, but I got it done through just forcing that crap out of myself to get it done, and was eating crappy food while always trying to do my work and drinking just to try to get some more power so it speak out of myself to do it. I was always angry, and I always was in a bad mood and I hated myself. I remember this one morning I was playing a video game cause I didn’t want to do the stuff that would better myself, it was last Friday. It was a game where you have to rank up and I had literally almost got to the last level where I stayed up till 3am to try to get there and didn’t manage to get it done. So I woke up the next morning at 7am to try to get to the max level so I could compete at the highest level with the big dogs you could. The game I was one of the most masculine games you could play, it was a racing game as almost no girls like car racing.(another hint) My laptop I was playing on froze and it stopped loading for about 30 minutes as I sat there with my anger building and building and building. I was screaming “Fuck the conservatives and their hatred they’ve had upon me. This computer is worthless”. I couldn’t calm my anger because I was at war with myself, I didn’t realize it at the time, but now I know. So I was so angry that I punched the shit out of my laptop and my mouse bounced off my desk and onto the floor. Then it shut off and went to the blue screen of death. My hard drive was dead and so was my computer, this caused me instant regret. So I went onto the forum just to browse and stumbled into the stage-blue mega thread and read an example that Leo put there saying “Gay Conversion Therapy”. This left me thinking “Why do people hate gay people so much, what it is up with that?” Then I went to YouTube to find out what gay conversion therapy was and they were pretty much tormenting young gay boys and young lesbian girls. I thought it was stupid as I went to search up gay guys kissing on YouTube to see how bad it was. Here I was a fool and to me what I saw was not disgusting as depicted but when I saw these gay guys making out I got this feeling of love and ecstasy. My heart just melted and it brought me into a flashback to when I was 16. (Brace yourself) In the locker room underneath of the school where I kissed this gay guy. Then somehow the word got out, you know how it is with those gossipy teenagers. Then the next day I remember I sitting at the table eating lunch and I’ll never forget this. Some imbeciles came up to me screamed at me “Bitch Boy!”, “fa*****!”, “Why you looking at my dick you scummy cocksucker!”, There were some 30 high school kids who starting laughing at me and I started to cry just sitting hold my sandwich in my hand, it felt like I was in hell. I felt ashamed, guilt, and just like shit. Then remember after listening to some rap music when I was 17 and thinking that’s how I’ll prove to them that I’m manly, I’ll become a rapper. So off I went like a complete fool conforming to rap culture and toxic bullshit just to prove to some people that I was “Manly”. I gained 50 pounds eating ice cream and all kinds of other shit and was too scared to be seen as feminine, as a matter of fact terrified to be. I was always not confident and had no real focus at all. I still kept rapping for these last two years trying to prove myself like a fool that I was manly posting rap songs on the net. I even posted some here on the forum, and I see what I fool I was stuck in hip hop conformity. It breaks my heart to see that I plagued you all with such toxicity. I recently stopped rapping just because of the homophobic culture and gay bashing that it does. I remember I won those people over by making rap songs about saying gay is bad, and say shit like “fuck those stupid faggots”. On the surface I thought oh its fixed. But deep down I was wounded and torn and hated myself for it. I started doing stupid crap like I picked up a vaping addiction from my conformity which I quit last Veteran’s day cause it was ruining my lungs. That was a big foolish maneuver there as I self-reflect on what a fool I’ve been. So anyways last weekend when I watching those gay guys kissing each other I felt an ecstasy and love for life. And like nothing my cravings for playing video games all day, eating junk food, and watching YouTube all day…. Just dissipated like nothing. I have been exercising, motivated, and stronger than I ever was. I got connected back with my feminine side, and it has made me stronger. I can focus now on my work literally all day now, life is magic. This is all great, but something I realized yesterday that the sort of anti-gay conservative mindset was wedged into my mind like a dogmatic mind-virus. So last night I decided I was going to do Leo’s Shamanic Breathing to relieve my mind of this anti-gay shadow. Okay now it’s about to get good. I scowered the internet for the most cutest gay guy I could find. I found this adorable 20 year old guy with butterfly hairpins in his hair. I was like,”If he just isn’t the most sexiest thing”. Then I put my phone away and turned on my shamanic drum music. I did Leo’s shamanic breathing for an hour and I a lot of shit from my past came up especially in the first half hour, but the last hour made me feel like I wasn’t there at all. I had the whole vibration sensation that it gives you and looked around the room feeling this euphoric almost psychedelic state. It was very trippy as I sat there in this heavenly bliss for a couple minutes. Then I picked up my phone and opened it up to see the same picture of that same gay guy. He just looked like the most adorable, cutest, gorgeous, sexiest human being that I had ever seen. Then I got an erection and then got an orgasm while I was in this blissful, heavenly state. Then I really lost control of myself and starting writhing around laughing in a pure joy and ecstasy for a solid 5 minutes. I just felt such an intense love for all LGBTQ people and everyone in the world and the universe, but of course that guy, it was very freeing of trauma for me, very therapeutic indeed. The thing was that I embraced my feminine side because I had been demonizing that part of me for years. I merged with my masculine and now I am more Whole. I woke up this morning feeling so happy, elated, and felt like I could do anything. I was so pumped up and got so much stuff done this morning, this whole experience of embracing my feminine side and becoming more merged with my mind and body is a life-changing moment. I no longer feel bad for being bisexual, and I have been liberated from many of my addictions and lack of passion. Thanks and love you so much to Leo for inspiring me to heal my mind, and I love all of you here on the forum. It’s a real big problem I see everywhere that if you act feminine at all, people act like your a weak little bitch. The fact is that that couldn’t be any further from the case as Leo says all the time in his videos and he is most certainly right. If you read this whole thing, I love you.

Thank you for replying back. It was actually after watching your "something instead of nothing" video that has thrown me a bit deeper in my covid lockdown existential crisis rabbit hole. I must admit, I do not understand what you mean by "there are no bad deeds and no evil, and only love exists". How has the pursuit of truth brought you to this conclusion? I can surely think of examples that are both evil (e.g. conscious acts of betrayal, intentionally inflicting pain) and love (selfless sacrifice). Do you clarify this in depth in one of your videos because I do not understand the logical path you are following to come to this conclusion. I do not "enjoy" suffering, but my mind leads me to both pain and bliss when I am in the heights of my mania. Perhaps if I understood your reasoning here, I could make more sense of this when I am lost. Essentially, why is good and love infinite and absolute, but hatred and evil not?

Hello all I do hope everyone is doing well given the current state of the world. I will not delve much into myself but rather will briefly ask a philosophical question that I am having difficulties reconciling. Some perspective would be much appreciated. If being and all of existence (in this universe and the next, and all that ever was) is a perfect balance between good and evil, bliss and suffering by its very nature (assuming it is the result of all possibility), what incentive is there to live a good life, if, by deterministic forces, good deeds will be counterbalanced by bad deeds? Why not live a reckless drug and sex filled life and drive a car off a cliff, if all of being and existence will balance this force out? Why strive to live a good life in this life (just for the sake, that it feels good and/or to counteract evil) if the nature of reality and existence is balance? Why love if love will be followed by hate - and vice versa? I apologies for this extreme case, but I am trying to reconcile this Buddhist notion of enlightenment and "breaking the cycle of rebirth" and that suffering can be overcome through reaching nirvana. Why overcome it through nirvana when it will inevitably balance itself out in one form or another? Is existence biased towards goodness? Is there a solid argument for this? I ask this as, I have in the past found solace and peace of mind in the idea that my life and aspirations were somehow in tune with some cosmic sense of justice. I am a naturally helpful and productive person, and although I do struggle with things such as sexual and material desire, I consider things like monogamy as meaningful sacrifices, in the pursuit of a meaningful and fulfilling life, and that through my actions I contribute to preserved peace and order. Any perspective on this would be much appreciated.

I remember that eternal bliss breaks because of boredom so it's not the ultimate. I wonder if there is such thing as the ultimate.

Thanks for the answers? Let me expand a lil.. When I’m by myself I experience huge amount of happiness, bliss and joy. The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment.. Maybe because I have to strengthen my ability to abide in I am.

TL;DR Had a second major awakening experience, and some time later learned to merge with the Ox and sustain this connection throughout daily activities. Present feeling The state is filled with equanimity, bliss, and peace. There are almost no random or emotionally charged thoughts - and they arise and pass away, like clouds in the sky. I realize that this is not the final destination, but for now this is a very peaceful and joyful way to be. Second Awakening Experience (some time ago) I have had a second major awakening experience. I have looked the Ox in the eye, and it was the most magnificent experience of my life. The intensity was overwhelming, but relaxing into the experience was the key to ascending. Now comes the part where I tame it - to follow me everywhere I go, and to purify me of selfishness. But this was a temporary experience, and the next day the Ox, although being much more tamed, was still hiding throughout engaging in daily activities. Merging with the Ox for the first time I have merged with the Ox - we became one. And this was fucking magnificent. Peace, wonder, shock and awe. This is so beyond words, much more than I've ever imagined it to be. When I try to become aware the Ox, I realize it's me, and the experience gets more intense. Sustaining the unity Today I've merged with the Ox, and been in that state since, throughout daily activities. The starting point is the Ox being separate. Then, I sustain awareness of the Ox, and this invokes a steady ascend towards higher state of consciousness. When it becomes so intense that it's almost unbearable, suddenly stillness occurs. After that, I look at the Ox, and I see myself. The state of being is now inconceivably more intense, pure and luminous than I could ever imagine. This is fucking unbelievable. Current practice Taming the Ox is now the main direction of practice. Another potential direction is Dzogchen. For now, the fruits of the Ox are more than enough, but later, another type of practice may be needed.

Hi! Tomorrow morning (12 hours left!) I will be given general anesthesia shot due to broken arm. Does anyone here experienced any mystical states during it’s duration? Is it worth to try not to fall asleep? Will it be spooky? Any suggestion for this type of experience? @Leo Gura Never tagged you before, but this time I will really appreciate your suggestions Sidestory: I was arm wrestling with my friend during 2cb trip feeling really powerful, giving everything to win, I was trying to become force itself. Then my arm just broke with LOUD excruciating sound. Firstly I didn’t know what the fuck just happened. Then I ran to the bathroom shocked, to put it into cold water. After that I was walking around with part of my arm just hanging in there detached, it was horrifying as hell, I remembered my breakthrough dmt trip instantly. I was loosing my physical shape, it felt like I was falling into void. I walked into my living room and tried to lay down slowly. In one single moment I realized that I broke my arm with my own force, I did my best and it was quite powerful, Carlos Castaneda like, moment for me. I was sweating horribly, feeling fear sometimes but generally I was at pure bliss, feeling happy and peaceful as I am not my body and there is nothing to worry about. Like I didn’t even feel pain at all. Everyone was trying to cheer me up, I was very grateful for that. Then ambulance team came and I switched back to normal state. I feel like to really work on my health after the surgery is done.

@Gesundheit Surprised that a human body died? In whatever form he did, does that even matter? Do u even read the reports of all what happened that night? Do u even studied it deeply and conciously or by previous believes u assumed things. Like he took no global anestesia in all the operations, in where it was compulsary to do so. During all the operations he was in absolute bliss. One of the doctors was interviewed and said that after that operation he realized that complete liberation was posible. When he was asked to cure himself by his devotees he answered: Well u can say he wasn't able to do so but anyway. Also at the exact time of his death a shooting star was seen and disappeared behind his holy mountain. If he was just the only one... There are thousands of great sages with stories like this, but maybe your believes of what can or not be is making u blind to what is obvious across al human history. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I answer u with your own words: An open mind is always required to go beyond your comfort zone.

@Gesundheit It is widely reported the extreme magnetism Ramana Maharshi had upon all animals, in fact he treated the same a cow or an squirrel than a human being. Do the research it will truly surprise u. And about the second message, I in fact just know a person that is buddhist and we have never talked about it. I am not buddhist (neither was Buddha), but he was a great sage and I really enjoy his teachings and his way. Never talked about anything of this, not because he did not know but just because he said it doesn't matter if u still suffer. I just enjoy his approuch and eternal state of bliss no matter what happens. Which is why I love him, because even though there is much more than what he ever said he was always in joy, peace and happiness; and, isn't that what we all want in our human existence? I just don't know why it triggers u this topic but is a thing u should definetely check, after u check how all animals went to Ramana

@Heart of SpaceYes, when you are enlightened you are naturally aware and relexed. But it is a big difference when you sit down and meditate. You can bliss out, go places... ? You can probably do that always, but im not there yet ?

I have the impression that If there is still suffering then it's not a full awakening. Fully awakened people who can meditate because they feel bliss when they do. There is no goal behind the meditation.

One of the things I realized is that no amount of money could make me happy. I've been imagining myself being a billionaire but not doing what I love... and finally understood that it wouldn't make me even 1% happier. I'd be still the same person, with the same fears, beliefs, and biases. Nothing would change in me. What makes me happy and fulfilled is doing my work, sharing my gifts with the world, and following my bliss. I wouldn't trade this for all the money in the world... I'm going to fucking die, some day, maybe tomorrow, who knows, life's unpredictable... I don't want to die with tons of regrets in my life... He'll no! And I'm not saying money is bad or is evil, in fact... I love money and one of my goals is to become a multi-millionaire, but... The key is to connect your life purpose, your life calling to your business so you can make money doing what you love. Your life might be different though, maybe you'll need to build a business that you don't enjoy doing it and make a couple bucks so you can have free time and money to invest into what you like doing, but... I decided not to go through that route... I enjoy doing what I'm doing and I'm learning so much about myself that I wouldn't trade it for anything. Plus, my life calling makes people's lives better, so... If by doing what I love, I can make money, I can grow as a person, and other people's lives can improve too... What else can I ask for? Like I said before, I still feel resistance like crazy, sometimes I don't feel like doing my work and cravings arise, but I'll keep pushing no matter what. Even if I don't achieve anything in my life I will die trying it. Don't sell yourself short! Don't let greed steal your happiness. "You have the right to work, but for the work's sake only. You have no right to the fruits of work. Desire for the fruits of work must never be your motive in working." - Bhagavad Gita

Nothing wrong with that. do as you wish. don't expect your bliss to open every door though so this advice is for guys who are wanting to improve with women. jinco jeans = pussy magnet

But L̶e̶o̶ Lyubov, what if my style + bliss is found in not worrying about appearence??

There are moments of oneness with the Beloved, absolutely ecstasy and bliss. That is nothingness. And this nothingness loves you, responds to you, fulfills you utterly and yet there is nothing there. You flow out like a river without diminishing. Irina Tweedie (Sufi Master)

Today has been a weird today. I'm feeling lazy so I'm just going to list what is going on. Feeling a little bit anxious so if you got any good thoughts/perspectives, thank you. I'm not on psychedelics, by the way. - "seeing" or "sensing" oneness/love/nothingess/Self through and within everything - constantly getting deeper and deeper insights & broader perspectives - short moments of absolute bliss & omniscience - feeling like I'm dying, or the reality is turning "inside out". This one is freaking me out. Subject/object is breaking down basically - energy "spikes" and other stuff in the body I've sensed this coming for a while now. But it seems you really can't prepare for it. It is way more radical than you can even imagine. Welp, whatever comes, comes, I guess. God help me.

All desires come from the ego-self, nothing wrong with that, it is just doing its thing. Trying to surive the things that are identified with. Your real Self is happy regardless of circumstance, real desirelessness is pure bliss. Here is the thing about those options, one could be see as trying to push something away & the other could be seen as trying to pull something towards you. I would actually do both at the same time, even though it might seem contradictory, it actaully isn't. By doing this you will begin to see the pushing & pulling you are constantly doing, the whole dynamic, & start to understand it for what it is. You can get the ego-self to desire to be in alinement with Being. It is a lot easier to do this when you see the whole dynamic of what the ego-self is doing.

Enlightenment I seem to be a feeling more than anything, a vibration maybe. Not thought, or a body, but a collection of systems within systems that give rise to this thing. But it seems to come together as a feeling imprint. And that feeling, vibration is constantly changing according to its environment. Changing growing, adapting. We could say that this thing is inside the infinite bubble of consciousness, like a bacteria inside the body's intestinals, they probably don't know what they are doing in there, but are affected by the body. Liver cells don't know probably either. Enlightenment seems to be a very honorable end. And that's the problem. Ending. Who wants to end? For example: Say, in this world we are like ice cubes. When we die after Enlightenment we liquify then diffuse. The body's atoms diffuse in the ground, our energy, etheric and consciousness diffuses and merge back into the All. You become nothing and everything. This ego thinks "you better think twice before you jump" ...is that what God is up too? I mean, if you think about it, it seems this has been going on for a long time. Ask the Enlightenment One what happens after they die. They don't have a clue. I suppose they are going to "sit" around radiating Love, then somehow start all over again, maybe create another big bang and another space/time event in some other dimension. It seems like getting this complex human together was no small feat, who wants to start all over? So Enlightenment appears to be very sacrificial because one is giving up their individuality altogether. At least for the reminder of their life they get to enjoy bliss. I know science can't ever understand the Absolute because science can only study the "dream" or the physical world. But God/Universe seems to be doing more. We have quantum computers coming online, gene editing, and space travel. Maybe the end of death itself. Maybe we could do a little 5 meo-DMT and see who we are then get on with creating a paradise on earth. Thank you

Because it's not direct and very badly fucks with your subconscious mind and memory! you gonna feel like you fucked your life FOREVER and damaged you psyche ,and you gonna be insane like this and psychologically damaged for fucking ever! and at the same time you absolutely know you are dying and time literally stops. I remember I was checking my phone every minute and time literally were stopped for me! one experienced the illusion of HELL in it's perfection! if you wanna try mushroom go for "Golden Teacher", never ever touch "Penis Envy Albino", this shit is literally pure poison! in my golden teacher trip "I" melted in love and bliss like something I've never ever could imagine! easily could surrender everything like how you surrender when you go to sleep, absolutely positive trip. but I don't call those "Penis Envy" trips bad trips because you can learn a lot from any experience really.

@deci belle Interesting take. I kind of agree, but it certainly is a very illuminating experience, ime. Shows the emptiness of the mind. And it is easily achievable by just noting over and over (viewing all experience as not-self) until there's less and less available to note until... GAP... then the bliss wave and insight. Of course, that is only the beginning, as I think you were getting at. Are you pointing to the fact that what arises dependent upon conditions does not actually arise? What is empty, is not empty? What is unfabricated, is not unfabricated?

Are you, are you Coming to the tree? Wear a necklace of hope Side by side with me Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree? Where I told you to run So we'd both be free Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree? They strung up a man They say who murdered three Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the hanging tree Are you, are you Coming to the tree? Where dead man called out for his love to flee Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the hanging tree "Red ball." I am now a representative for the human race to determine something cosmic, but I don't know much more beyond that. "Hunger games." "Harry Potter." "X-men school." mashup. I got my initiatory ticket. I had mentioned before, when posting in a thread about the Earth's representatives being butchered - the young autistic girl who's voice was drowned out - well, I was given a warning for being so forthcoming... and I ended up being correct - I am a representative of this planet. And my intent still stands that it does no one any good to damage those who are chosen for this task. If t doesn't go in the right direction - for all of humanity to wish for a greater outcome, at the end of the line - if you only wish for what is good for you - then those scales of judgement will not tip in our favour. It is imperative to have goodwill for all of mankind in your heart at all times. What is not delicious will be burned away until only love remains. If humanity goes past a certain point, nature has a mechanism in place to dissolve everything. You have that switch in you as an individual, and we have it collectively. As in: The dancing mania - a nam-shub - like as such: Flowbots - Handlebars "I put a spell on you. And now you're MINE." "Thank you Annie, for that marvelous introduction." "If you don't believe you better get superstitious." The anti-hero's journey is the journey of the ego, to try to fulfill itself on an ego level, and if we understand the journey - the anti-hero breaks the dharma to find a egoic love, a human love - that ultimately proves itself illusory and was willing to suffer death and eternal damnation all for the sake of love. A sattvic beauty to the determination to give up God for a phenomenal plain connection that one felt more of an emotional fulfillment from because one could no longer connect to God. That connection and the possibility of the real hero's journey had already been lost to the human consciousness. The sattvic version of it came down into a version of different kinds of quests that was on an ethical plane that often required a tragic sacrifice of one's life for a community - a giving of one's self for the sake of others. But then you get into the tomasic versions and it is all about the ego proving that might makes right and that it can overcome the system or it can overcome a counter-system - but it is part of an egoic collective system that it never separates from. So the postmodern ideological frame of reference in which people are born is that the ego is made into an artificial hero - a pseudo-hero - it's given it's golden spoon - it's grades - this allows the ego to go through a candy version of attaining some kind of status and prestige - but never goes through the rite of passage of ego death and tries to maintain a life as an ego, never separating from the biological family system or its role in that system and perpetrates it into adulthood that never reaches psychological adulthood. The ego, in its artistry of self-deception, splits and is able to fool itself until it gets into such deep water that it can no longer manage its fragmentation. And then the turning point is a karmic event in which its pseudo-heroism blows up and it collapses. And its that collapse that actually begins the journey. You have to hit rock bottom - a failure to use the "props to keep one's self up" - the addictions and so forth. Many people can ride high for a long time before that karmic event hits. Due to the pandemic, our entire society is going through a karmic event. (This is due to how we treat animals.) We are reaching the end of the era of ego itself. It is now the journey of a fragmented, scared, under developed ego that no longer has the support of all its previous illusions - an ego that never learned how to manage adversity - imperialism - always the Other who has to face the Nothing - and now it is Here. During these times, the ego sees the Nothing - nature in all of its wrathfulness, it is only when you have nothing that you have to rely on your own internal compass. Nature is warning mankind. Blue fires burning again, In my head, All the things we left unsaid, In my head And now a real hero's journey has begun - it is, you go on that journey or you die. If you don't, the lower death drive will take you. And you can't avoid it because each day the ego weakens, it gets more self hating, sociopathic - and so the ego today has to go through a real initiation that is motivated by fear. And in this context, the anti-hero has to go through a real initiation. Not of some heroic facade or pursuit that brings about achievement. When there is nothing left, when everything has broken you - you find that core within you or you die. This does not come from bliss, but through the dregs of the ego's subconscious horror and fight the real demons that have never been encountered fully before because you could pacify them with various addictive processes of shock absorbers that could keep you going. As it drops away and one fnds themselves having to face the horror of not having grown - we now return to the ancient levels of the hero's journey. The ancient future is forcing us to call up reserves of spiritual virtue.that we had not ha to call on that has atrophied and we have to call on powers within us that we always thought were Hollywood movie fake version that were just for play. And now we have to go all the way into ego death because nothing short of it will give us the strength we need. It's not in the ego.

Because there is still a subtle form of ego. Ego goes extremely deep. As long as you are physically alive there will be some ego. So yeah, utlimate heaven is only possible with mahasamadhi. But it gets already very heaven-like before that! Given that your awakening is balanced. I conceptualize the facets of awakening into these two categories: - Category A: no self Nothingness Imagination life is a dream ... - Category B: God Love Consciousness Infinity Bliss Peace ... If you have too much awakenings into category A without balancing it with category B you likely get depressed. But if you have a balanced awakening, a full complete awakenig, then that's no issue (once integrated).

Would constant awareness on the breathing work? I've tried a lot of times. And sometimes I get to that place of bliss. In that place, when thoughts arise, they can't touch me. Like...I see that they are just a thought. Not me. But then , maybe after an hour, I just give up: it comes a strong thought of identification ( they can be about whatever but they usually have a sort of an implicit negative aurea of "if you identify with this thought you will come back to the ego, don't do it". So fear arise in that fear I lose myself in the thought and I start to lose the bliss and awareness on the breath and so on. Do you think is there a point in doing this or I should just let it go and accept life it's not permanent. The ego state sucks so much compared to that present moment bliss ?. It's difficult to accept I have to live that state too. And most of the time btw.

%80 is the moment %20 is the thought process. Overthinking or repetitive thoughts doesn’t take place. Just decide and do it. Sometimes moment is too deep (if no thought process happens for long time) “you” disappear as sleep. And just “be”. Identification ends. Play the so called human character as in the game. Bliss, freedom and effortlessness which is the moment, which is you.