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I can’t remember exactly or which inspiration came first or in what order but I do know that ironically, one of the reasons I got into it was for purely egoic purposes. Like I thought how cool it would be if I got good at sitting like a statue for multiple hours on end. So I started doing that and it worked. Just by sitting perfectly still and keeping your attention on the breath everything slows way way down and it gets easier the more you practice like with anything. I got into yoga for similar reasons. On a side note, doing asanas regularly is super helpful if you want to get good at strong determination sitting. I also found out it can remove a great deal of suffering and get you super high if you practice enough so after learning that I was pretty much sold. After my first ten day vipassana, I felt like I was fifty pounds lighter and my raging mind was a whopping 50-60% quieter for weeks after, no exaggeration. And the peace kept on growing the more I maintained the practice. The bliss grew so strong I almost didn’t know how to handle it all. Easily the closest I’ve ever been to full enlightenment. The danger with me saying all this, however, is that the recipient will hear it and say hell yes, sign me up! The natural tendency is to expect to feel blissed out from all the meditation but that expectation actually blocks you from making progress because spirituality doesn’t like greed. So you have to be very patient. You can avoid that trap by finding the right technique. Vipassana has stood the test of time but it can be ridiculously difficult to get into. After my second retreat, I didn’t get anywhere close to the same result like I was expecting to. So it goes to show just how deep this work actually is.

@BenG these are great questions , happy to help through sharing my subjective experience (p.s. I don’t claim to be a guru nor do I want to be) There was certainly doubt at the beginning. But the key is not halting your inquiry after your mind comes up with doubts for the sake of protecting your worldview. A key here is being skeptical of your skepticism. Ask yourself this question: “If me (and by me, I mean your human name, body and history) never existed, how many problems would I have in life?” What you’ll realize is that most, if not all, of your suffering comes from your identification as the human you think you are. Ridding of this suffering, which created by your Mind, happens when you are able to let go of your human construction. What is left is what I would call bliss…you don’t take life personally, which means you get to play. God realization is the key to getting to this mind-space The sheer fact that no one in society, including people and institutions, is spreading this to the masses. The realization itself would fix 99.999% of the issues we see in the world today. Even further, it is surprising when one expressing Truth, how they are aggressively demonized…as you can see throughout this thread. Something so beautiful to God is very threatening to human Egos. This is the great challenge that all sages and mystics have faced throughout time. We should be very thankful to Leo and Actualized.org for literally putting their life and reputation on the line for teaching these things. Hope that helps.

Ya, I suppoze it's possible. It's interesting since I find, in these moments, I often get more "aroused" when just staying in the subtle realm and "staying with" the awareness or practice or sensations etc. Rather than start physically touching myself, deliberately creating sexual thoughts, etc., which tend to bring me away from the bliss or arousal you speak of. Not always perhaps. But it seems similar to what you describe.

Transmutation of Sex, Eating and Sleeping. Its Not What You Think When we are experiencing or dreaming that we are having sex, either with ourselves or "others" which is still ourselves, we can closely and consciously observe whatever is happening, and especially how we feel and what we are seeing, emphasis on what we are >Seeing< and Seeing with. Now lets investigate the Seer and what the Seer is Seeing with. The Imaginary Eye. Examining The Eye, without being scientific about it, just from direct experience and and personal observations. How does The Eye actually work? What is its purpose? and can we for the sake of self-recognition, and self-understanding, investigate The Eye? When you Love someone, or look in the eyes of someone you love, they say that the pupil gets diluted, and the iris becomes thinner. What is the pupils function and what is the iris's function really? (in the dream) In the movie Samadhi (See Link 31:56 to 35:12), they use the Eye as a metaphor for Somethingness and Nothingness. And compare it to a Black Hole. The content around a Black Hole could be seen as the content around the pupil, which is in these two metaphors, the iris and the content/matter revolving around a Black Hole. What is that center (Pupil / Black Hole) ? It is the center of Everything. A singularity holding all content around it. So in your life, your eyes, the pupil is the nothingness of you, and the iris is "your" life or what you think is "you". And the center is everything and nothing at the same time, because its holding the content (your life) together. As a living organism in this dream that you/we have dreamed up, you want to experience Infinite aspects of yourself. We go through different characters that we define ourselves with. And when we define ourselves with our bodies, we forget that we are Infinite Nothingness appearing as a self. And from that duality/split we get the need for Sex, or shall I say reaching the state of Orgasm (Unity), which is a remembrance and a reminder of who we truly are, as Infinite Nothingness appearing as a finite self, experiencing Itself. To understand where I am going with this, I am going to explain and remind you of the different stages of definition of yourself experiencing the Orgasmic State and what you associated with Sex. (mind you that this is within one or many lifetimes) but what I am referring to is the expereince itself.) 1: You are deeply asleep and define yourself as the character in the dream, your awareness and experience with sex/orgasm, is a pleasurable experience and you see this like and equal to anything else in your life (eating, sleeping, socializing with friends and so on.) (reality will loop back here later on, but from a higher level, 3D Spiral Example) (Stage Beige) 1.5: You play a game with yourself, and get lost in the pleasures of the action and you still dont grasp the potential and understanding what this might entail. A part of you wants to understand why you are lost in the pleasures and why you are doing it in the manner that you are. But for the sake of exploration and experience, you sleep around and explore what pleasure is. (Status Quo) 2: You choose a new path where you are in lack of the pleasure. You experience grief as you define yourself with character and get lost in self-limiting beliefs, where you judge yourself: of not being worthy, not having the appearance you want. And you experience that manifesting in your reality, because that is what you are defining yourself with. (A bit of a victim mentality is associated with this stage) (Stage Blue) 2.5: You start to notice that this gift of sex/orgasm that you have been given is not only for pleasure, but to reproduce yourself with, and continue your bloodline and pass on your genes. (Stage Purple) 3: You use this pleasure to be "better" than others and to build a stronger identity and even to dominate "others". Here is also the trap of abusing sex and using it as exploitation of others (yourself). Here is also where comparing yourself with others in terms of appearance and power happens. (Stage Red) & (Stage Orange) 4: You choose a life within the dream where you aren't going to reproduce, and you choose to explore what it is to not reproduce and start seeking and start questioning your previous beliefs and the norm of reproduction within in society and the world. (Stage Green) 4.5: You live a life where you are "done" with the pleasure aspects and want to start questioning what Sex and Orgasm is. This is the lifetime where you also adopt spiritual habits, with this comes restrictions in the form of beliefs and dogmas, where you are still lost in definitions and labels. You continue living on, you might still want to fall back asleep and go back to the "lower" stages. Here you might get stuck a few lifetimes. (Stage Green) 5: You start questioning what Sex and Orgasm is. You consciously go back to re-experience the pleasure of Sex and Orgasm, Consciously. Here is where you start shedding your previous beliefs about Sex and Orgasm being a bad thing, because when you consciously experience it, you start noticing that it is not what you thought it was. It never will be. You realize that: You thought you knew something about reality. And it just happened to be the complete opposite of what you thought you knew about it, and all the hard feelings and anxiety that you brought on yourself by adopting that thought as a belief, Now changes your approach to everything in reality and life, and you start seeing it for what it is without labeling or defining it. (Stage Yellow and Up) (Here is also where you must be very cautious not to fall back in to beliefs and also not to abuse this to fall back in to the first stages) Its like a 3D spiral, everytime it takes a new lap around itself, it still passes the previous starting point, but from a higher level. The trap and the hard thing is to not fall back, but to transform and to keep building ontop of the previous levels.) (There are many many more stages and iterations to this, because its something beyond the human experience, its just one facet of how Infinity is experiencing Itself. Its the creative force using its manifesting powers to express itself and to experience itself.) Back to the Eye, Sex, Orgasm and the Insights I have been given. Most human beings including myself, have been using Sex and Orgasm unconsciously. (Likewise with eating food, we are not consciously eating, we are mostly eating and doing other stuff like watching tv, youtube or whatever. So we are not paying attention to how much and what we are eating. We end up eating to much or to little, because we are so busy with other stuff.) And when you are having Sex you are to busy with your emotions and thoughts. You are not paying attention to what is happening. You are not in the moment. You are caught up with how beautiful he or she is, or what you are getting out of this, i.e the pleasure. Ofcourse its beautiful, but do you really understand and observe what is happening? Are you seeing how creation is gently sharings its Consciousness with you? Are you being conscious in those moments, that your ego is slowly being stripped away? Are you conscious that this is the death of whatever you think yourself to be? And before you know it, you reach your climax and you just take it as a pleasurable experience: Oh that was nice, you tell yourself and you go on your merry way. But if you consciously observed everything up to the point of your climax, the moment of Orgasm, you would be completely stripped of whatever you thought yourself to be. In those seconds, as it is happening to you, you are dying to Love, you are dying to Infinity. But you are not paying attention, you are looking at the bodies and your definitions, labels and distinctions. You are seeing it from a dualistic point of view. You are not paying attention to him or her nor the process. What I am saying is, look in her or his eyes, look at the pupils, look at the color of their eyes, look and see how that person is a part of you by the color and shape of their Iris. Look around the edges of where the the Iris's circle is meeting their pupils. See how the Pupil of Nothingness is breathing in between the edges of the Iris, see how you are exchanging and Unifying aspects of yourselves, to eachother. Realise you are seing your own Infinite Nothingness getting expanded/diluted in to yourself. Realise that you can see another part of Yourself and Infinity in that being. How they are, how they carry themselves, how they are living their life, how they are seeing and being a part of Reality through You. Be observant of the merging of both of your fractals, realise that you are loosing the sense of who you are, dont resist it, you and her/him are no longer (in that moment) yourselves. You are creating something new for Eachother, as One Unity. And pay attention to the moment you and her/him are reaching The Orgasmic State, or preferably when both of you are. And if you dare, continue looking in the other persons eyes, as you are dying, if you dare. You will be shocked and shattered to pieces. And your being will be completely reawakened to itself. If you dont have a significant other, that is not a problem. If you can drop all your beliefs and self-judgments, fear of being judged and your own imagined self worth. You go infront of the mirror, and you do it to yourself (no matter male or female). Look yourself in the eyes while doing it, and realise that you have always been doing it with yourself, even when you "imagined" that there was an "other". Allow yourself to completely loose yourself, to Yourself. Infinately in that moment. And dont you dare looking the other way in shame. Because You are Looking at God. It brings you to tears, because you realize that you are seeing yourself for the first time. And you will be amazed at the fact that it is possible for you to see your own face. And that it is so beautiful that you can be able to Love Yourself. (for a full experience of this, try it on a Psychedelic, LSD/5MEO. Does wonders) When we are doing things consciously, we are given so much more than when we are doing out of a need or a necessity. And just like when we are eating, we can be in the moment, observe, savor and understand what it is we are doing. So we end up being full and feeling satisfied with less and seeing how less Is actually more. We see and understand the reason we are given the ability to eat. (Not just to fill our stomachs in a dissrespectful way. And go lay on the couch with a stomachache). We see and understand why we are given the ability to have Sex/Orgasm. (not to use and abuse eachother for our selfish gains and expanding our body-counts) We see and understand why we are given the ability to sleep and know what resting is. (not just to go to sleep because we are bored or have nothing else to do) When you do this in every aspect of your life, Especially with Sex/Orgasm, Eating and Sleeping. Our lives become transformed and the depth of our Consciousness expands. We grow in to a new and activated state of One-ness with ourselves (God). Remove the Mundane aspect to reality from your Mind. That is the cause of your need for things to be different. Whenever you are outside, standing somewhere and you look up at the night sky and bask in the beauty of space. You need a ground to stand on. Because without it, you would be falling and having no possibility of seeing or watching anything. Likewise your life is the ground you stand on, to be able to experience and explore Yourself. Reality is groundless. So you as God created a ground for yourself to Experience and Explore Yourself. But your ground needs good foundation to be able to hold What You Are. (Your ego must be worked on, for it to be a stable ground for your union with God.) Its all just a prep-work for the big party ahead. The Orgasmic state is when you are One with Everything, it is everything you Ever longed for, it is when You are complete. So build on top of whatever you have in the Now, transmute it and use it to expand yourself. Transform yourself. Transmuting what you have been given is a complete state of Bliss. You Thank Yourself, and that Thankfulness Grows. You say I Love you, and the Lovelyness Grows. Its not about living a life where you are "done" with sex and you feel like its wrong, or you are living a "spiritual" life with spiritual standards. What do you think Living Life Consciously is? But an unfolding in to what you Truly are. Where do you think you are going to go? Out there? What is out there but here where you exactly are? Wherever you go, it will always be experienced right where you are. When you are living in the future, you are trying to escape yourself. You are seperating yourself. You are forming an identity. And once again, you are lost... For the past 9 months as I have been going through the process of awakening, been blasted with insights and understandings from my own experience regarding this topic. I know words are symbols and pointings, and they cant really express what direct experience feels like, but I can feel and intuit that for those of you who relate and understand what im trying to point to, there wont be the need for words, because I am you, and you are me, like lovely Leo says in his videos Also I would Love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding this. I am open to expand my view with the rest of you (myself) (Also pardon my grammar or spelling mistakes, if there are any)

@Shin Unity or letting go of thoughts that seem to feed the illusory sense of separation from complete and utter okayness or bliss. Sex, drugs and rock and roll are just good excuses to be what you already are. Then after the experience more thoughts can come in that say "that felt amazing and now it's gone" which strengthen more thoughts that say you're not ok, and you NEED such and such, which feels awful because that's not true. Then addiction is thought to be a problem had by a separate someone, when in reality, it's all a huge misunderstanding.

We often associate bliss with sex. The body often isn't used to interpreting bliss, passion, arousal as being uncaused.

It can go a million ways but here's how it can go, and it's perhaps not very likely that it will be this way for any particular individual. The stages are largely concurrent but the order is somewhat meaningful. 1. Mystical experiences -- transcend ego to a small degree. Insights such as "through me, reality imagines it is judging itself." 2. Bliss on demand -- relax clinging 3. Relax awareness of any particular object; totally detach from objects -- panoramic figure ground reversal -- Witnessing 4. No separation; field syncs up with itself and there is no hidden sensation appropriating itself as a knower -- there's only wholeness and nothing can be done to get closer or further away from that. 5. Entire field is a philosophical zombie in a sense -- nothing is needed for the empty appearance to be what it already is. No more mystical experiences.

@Bazooka Jesus lol, you mean to day that you feel at bliss at times and then your mood drastically shifts?

I think your mind is using this to trick yourself out of going for what you want. In actuality, being famous has nothing to do with pursuing your passion / art. It's complete irrelevant, you could become famous or you may have very little following, the important part is following your bliss and ignoring any negative self-talk. There is no guarantee that you'll be well known. There are many artist who are underground, the creativity itself is what matters, not the number of fans.

When you shift your identity from the puppet or human avatar to the empty space (puppet master) that everything appears in you'll have more realizations and bliss continues and constantly. Practice by seeing your human body as an it and as a hollow thing that is extremely loyal and does whatever you direct it to. Out of body experience will be a normal state of being because your the entire experience of whatever is happening and that's fact.

Excellent question. I would say there are many factors that contribute to this, being on your purpose, lucky circumstances, love, (gratefulness-)meditation or psychedelics. What this really boils down to for me though is Emotional Mastery. Because when you do Emotional Mastery work, that means investigating(changing) your beliefs, healing and releasing emotional wounds/pain-bodies and practicing acceptance, your emotional state will rise naturally. Emotional highs are always fleeting, that is why they are highs. But because you will have less shit that is dragging you down you will be able to enjoy these grateful moments for much longer. Then just be open to whatever comes and set the intention to experience bliss. ❤️

The Path to Mastery: Energy Efficiency and Effortless Ease If you want to get anywhere on the spiritual path , understanding energy efficieny and effortless ease are absolutely fundamental. Let’s call this dysfuntion of physical and mental tension that pervades each moment as ‘The Spiritual Block’ – TSB. There are highly unconscious aspects of TSB which is manifested as mental effort without awareness and physical tension. In simple terms, this is why you feel chronic fatigue. Especially the deep sort where no amount of ‘detox’ protocols or diet changes have any perceptible effect. This is why you can’t look people in the eye. Your shoulders and body tense up and feel this anxiety that appears to have invaded your DNA. This is why just the act of going to the fridge and getting a soda is such a tiring and ‘high effort-no reward’ activity filled with aversion, boredom and lack of motivation. So how do we deal with it? TSB is a form of complex suffering that certain forms of art has tried to address in order to optimize performance. Martial arts is a very clear and masterful sport that incorporates deep spiritual systems in its core operating system. You use the momentum of the opponent to conserve as much energy as possible while only utilizing muscles that needs to be contracted for the completion of the movement and completely relaxing all the other muscle groups that is not necessary for the task at hand. Which in turn conserves more energy and increases efficiency. When you look at any master at any field, you see that they have this inspiring energy efficiency. Not loose relaxation but the perfect levels of tension and relaxation dancing within. Relaxed Alertness is a requirement to the path to mastery. So here is a very tangible practice regimen to practice relaxed alertness. 1- When you are doing any form of passive acitivity (watching TV, Youtube sitting down, laying down etc), make sure that your entire body, especially shoulders, arms and torso are completely relaxed and restful. Not even a little bit of tension should be allowed. Drop them down if you tighten up. 2- When you are doing any form of active movement-related activity (having converstion with someone, playing video games, typing on keyboard etc.) make sure that only the muscle groups that is required for the activity is used and all the other muscle groups are fully relaxed and restful. Not even a little bit of tension should be allowed. If you can drop it, then practice dropping it. In active movements, energy efficiency and tension becomes a deeper issue that requires careful investigation. Here is an example: When you are typing on a keyboard, you don’t want to unnecessarily spend energy with shoulder tension, legs, stomach convulsing as you are thinking about a complex topic. The only muscle group that needs to be used is fingers, hand and elbow. Even then, you should make sure you are not tightening the shoulders to hold the weight of your hands. This is an example when even when you are using the required muscle groups, you need to utilize as much efficiency as possible. Efficiency is defined as the least amount of effort and energy needed to complete any given task. When you see the ‘efficiency’ switch in your nervous system, integration of this efficiency to all life activities will get easier. To see this switch, you need to practice much more physical relaxation. You need to see tension in each movement. And you need to see that 'you' are generating it. Not the external circumstances and people. If you think ‘Oh yeah! I’ve heard of this a million times. I’m doing it but it is not working so well’, just accept that you aren’t practicing any of this to the level that you need to experience any of the benefits that this practice offers. You need to develop this continuous introspective awareness of tension and relaxation and that will lead to positive feedback loop. Let the masters of their respective fields provide you with inspiration. Always attend to how such a high level they’ve mastered energy efficiency and relaxed alertness. Meditation is actually the deepest form of mastery where you can bring this relaxed alertness axiom of mastery to all activities of life. To all young people, ask yourself the question: Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could play Red Dead Redemption 2 like Mozart playing the piano? To all adults, ask yourself this question: Wouldn't it be amazing to attend that social event your boss forces you to in a state of bliss and joy? Not dreading what you are going to say if you see this or that person. Well, you can do that with spiritual training. Do the process I’ve described for all passive and active states in daily life for as much as you can do, slowly your conscious power and awareness will heighten to extremely impressive levels. To such a level that your aura in life will tranform and people's perception of you will dramatically change. Take this very seriously and practice it with resolve. Much love, Arda

I knew a man at an ayahuasca ceremony, he was taking MDMA, and he couldn’t get into the aya trip, no matter what the shaman did. He told me not to take it because you crash the next day. The bliss seems to come with a price.

Yes. People get so wrapped up in turning the work into this super serious, no fun attitude and it makes no sense to me. It's almost a paradox. Spiritual work is serious, but if you take it too seriously you essentially defeat the point. If you're not feeling good about life on a routine basis then you need to re-evaluate what you're doing. Something isn't right. I bliss the fuck out every time I do MDMA. There is no anxious come up or come down, nothing but pure acceptance of existence in the moment. Love for everything that is. But this is unlikely to happen if you continue to hold on to beliefs about your sense of self. That's fine it's normal. That's what the substances do, help you to work through your personal shit. But once you've worked through all of that you should be able to bask in the bliss of the moment only.

@BipolarGrowth Thanks so much for sharing this! Was really helpful to read. I skimmed chapters A&P through Conformity, and I sense that the stage I'm at is Equanimity, though I would need to read the book in more detail to know for sure. That said, the bliss/rapture/ecstasy states in A&P certainly have a lot of overlap with my psychedelic experiences. I pretty consistently have ego death experiences these days, even on relatively small doses, and often dissolve into what I can only describe as Infinite Mind where insights about Truth create a cosmic orgasm-like experience. Except it's not happening to Tucker and to a physical body (as those no longer exist in these states), it's just this abstract bliss that feels like God endlessly ejaculating (in a cosmic not physical sense lol). This last for hours until Consciousness slowly recreates a physical body and ego mind in which I as Tucker come back into form. Often the bliss remains for hours after I'm back in my body, and intense surges of energy course through my body as if Spirit is dancing me. Everything is in perfect harmony and flow, even my ego thoughts which can be witnessed and unconditionally loved. I mention all this to say that I suspect the "Dark Night" feelings are from going from Nonduality to Duality again, and from experiencing Bliss to Equanimity again. Put more bluntly, going from God to Tucker is a bit of a letdown hahaha, although within a day usually a sense of Equanimity returns. Perhaps this is the "Dark Night of Equanimity" that the writer briefly alludes to. My sense is that all these maps and models for meditation and awakening need to be researched and reevaluated through the lensing of psychedelics, as I suspect (though am no expert) that the the progression of insights and embodiment happen in unique ways that may not fully align with traditional awakening models. Let me know your thoughts, brother, and appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom!

In the short drive back from the cinema (Bond was fun), something come together that had been sitting around aimlessly in the background of my thoughts for a while. That was the idea that there are five perspectives to my thoughts/being. I wanted to be neat and have four cardinal directions, but five doesn't fit this nice scheme (but maybe it does). Anyway here they are: Introspective This is the sensation that I'm me experiencing this internal world that is off limits to others and to the world. It seems like my thoughts and ideas are private and unless I make them public they stay that way. It seems like there's a whole internal (private) world that I inhabit and I'm both its master and its slave. This is the world I go to to ruminate and instrospect, and is the container for the ego and sense of a self doing stuff. Behind it all there's a sense of observation and ownership. Extrospective It's possible to flip out of the introspective direction and be in the world instead. You are party to everything that's going on around you and you belong to it. This is where your physical body is and all it's pains and disease and pleasures. In this perspective people are important and the laws of physics hold, the law of money and survival also impose themselves. When in a flow state, there's little introspective or self-awareness and it's all focused out there and externally. At moments of high emotion or drama, the blood pumps and the adrenaline runs, you are there and very present. This is where you are in moments of bliss and having fun at a party or doing your favourite activity. Retrospective This is the strong sense that you have a history. This is the world of memory and relationships and knowledge accumulated over years. Here is were yesterday happened and what you had for breakfast. Here is where you know how old you are and from where you can see the story arc of your life. You can corroborate your stories and flashbacks with others and build a sense of continuity and knowledge that you were born. Your body feels like it has taken on the pleasures and traumas of the past and that these things define who you are now - maybe it's even the perspective of identity itself. To delete or deny or rewrite the personal past feels wrong and against natural law, because without it how can you be you? Futurospective From here is the place of potential and hope. This is where self-improvement and goals and all that doing lives. It's the source of fantasy and what ifs and new ways of being and behaving; dreams. If retrospective tells you why you are you, then futurospective lets you expand outwards to be anyone you want to be. It's also the perspective of fear and anxiety, having that certainty that bad things will happen and that that inevitable day will come whether you like it or not. It is where your own death resides. But if things are bad now, the future always holds hope that the badness will be washed away to be replaced by goodness. It's the place where families are planned, new friends made, and that you will become what you've always wanted to be. Now-spective From this perspective you are content to sit and be one with all the other perspectives. It is the centre of the maelstrom of being alive itself. It's possible to live from this perspective constantly. It is a place of refuge from the other perspectives: the past cannot reach you any more, the future has yet to affect you, and both the internal and external worlds are one and the same. It's both a prison you cannot escape from (except to go into other perspectives), and yet is everything and delightful, if space is given over to this perspective. It is both the container and canvas for the other perspectives, and the place to realise the other perspectives are just tall tales. From here being a child feels like just now, and being old and grey haired will be just soon. Nothing happens here, time stands still, and you are everything at once, everytime at once. There is nothing to observe except observation itself. This is a place of rest.

That is sort of a testimony, no offense I hope, as to what I suggested. You’re already under an impression there is a second source (might seem tediously semantical, but it isn’t) and that one could understand nonduality. That’s a big one so to speak, a colossal misnomer. You don’t want conjecture like that creeping into your foundation when you’re just getting started (IMO). I wouldn’t frame it up as letting go of sources. There is one source, and it is impossible to let it go. That might seem like a small point but imo it’s not at all. “Resourcing” or “multi-sourcing” is undermining of oneself but doesn’t initially readily seem so and makes equanimity harder down the path. I also wouldn’t frame as ‘study’. If you want to read someone’s book about their existential experiences, that’s great… but you’re not ‘studying’ it… they’re sharing experiences… and you’re interested in experiencing that sharing. ‘Studying’ (imo) is applicable to memorizing information for an exam, or similar situations. And direct experience isn’t reliable or unreliable, it’s simply direct experience. That, I would explore until there is not a single question remaining. Until you are so satisfied you’re bliss napping face down on the floor as an orgasmic pile of your infinite self. There isn’t really that line. Any studying is ‘in’ direct experience, or, is direct experience. Direct experience is not found in studying. Given those distinctions… and a great understanding of the emotional scale… I don’t really think you need a trip guide & facility. Advice wise, yes, absolutely, of course you should be safe and as conservative as possible, take every precaution possible, and utilize every resource available to you. Personally, I prefer a long weekend in a cabin in the woods alone. But, so to speak, my understanding of emotion is astute and crystal clear. You could think of that (if you will) as the actuality for what the belief ‘mental stability’ points to. Or maybe we are actually saying the same thing in that regard, idk.

@Raptorsin7 oh no no no, do not misunderstand me, the whole thing is amazing! There is bliss in work and there is bliss in relaxation, in fact they cannot be separated.

If you made progress that quickly, you are probably quite naturally talented. Your description of God is good. We however can't know whether it was only conceptual (from listening to Leo's videos) or actual awakening. It seems like actual awakening though. Ask yourself whether you have any doubts about your awakening. like: "maybe it was just a hallucination/deception from neurons in my brain". If you actually reached God, there is no doubt. Though, if you didn't have a deep God awakening, there can still be doubt. That kind of doubt doesn't mean that the awakening wasn't legit, but that you didn't go deep enough. God is Love and Consciousness and Nothingness and Infinity.... But that doesn't mean you will be highly conscious of each of these facets during every awakening. When you are more experienced yes, but not at the beginning. IMO, the most effective way to increase your baseline consciousness is through transmissions . They are also pretty effective to experience more bliss and become happier. Buy the book "greater words of power" by Damon Brand and do the ritual "the Road Opener". It's worth a try.

I recently participated in a two day Ayahuasca ceremony, and like my previous experiences, during the actual journey I felt pretty much nothing but pure bliss, rapture, ecstasy. It feels like Spirit is dancing and moving my body and sending me off into cosmic orgasms. It's incredible, until the next morning, when I'm back as a regular human and met with feelings of sadness and disconnection. It's almost like the sensation of getting off a rollercoaster - it's so exhilarating during the ride but then when it ends life feels kind of blah again. The contrast is so intense that I think it magnifies the darker polarities. This usually last for 1-2 days, and then I catch up on sleep and spend some time alone, and I feel back to normal equilibrium again. I'm just wondering if others share this experience and if so what can help with this "post-trip blues"?

@DoTheWork try this: It’s insane, I’ve never experienced so much bliss. Jan Esmann & Gareth helped me make more progress (when it comes to Kundalini Awakening) in the past months than I‘ve done in the past years. Will share my experience in more detail soon.

Well said! I definitely had a low-key manic phase where I went around telling all my friends, family, etc about how they needed to meditate and directly perceive reality. I wanted them all to share in that bliss. A few awakening/insight/satori experiences later, I understood how futile and empty that compulsion it was. It was more of wanting to be viewed as some awakened being than actually having a genuine drive to teach. A few close friends still do consult with me about practices, but I never pressure, only reply to what they need at that moment. As you said, everyone has their own path

Anytime, my dude. I'll admit that I have been disheartened by the extreme solipsism vibes that some posters give off here. We can only retreat into DMT tunnels and infinite bliss voids for a certain amount of time before we come back to the basic ideas of Zen... All ideas are dualistic and wrong. If we think we have the full truth, we are just making up stories that sound true. Materialism does not have the "whole picture," but neither does Leo's model, nor does Buddhism, or Christianity, or any other philosophy in history. The thing I do like about this forum is that there are many who make an earnest attempt to understand reality using the tools we have. Anyway, to cut my ranting short, happy to talk about this stuff anytime—PM me if you get a little worn down by the absolutist talk and want to wax philosophy/existence Cheers.

I've had several sessions with @@Nahm here on the forum. There's definitely a huge energetic shift thing going on, but also just conversation and addressing stuff about life that seems to be a source of suffering. Lots of insights and understanding. My personal opinion is that presenting transmissions as a "thing" that one person gives to another person and comes from a specific direction is a bit counterproductive, and kind of takes away from the magic of what its really about. But it's definitely "real". Impossible to define or explain, so I guess any language you stick of it will inevitably sound misrepresented. Sometimes I come away with a energetic buzz, bliss, heightened synchronicity, other times lose my appetite for a week., and almost always have more clarity and direction. In the beginning with I let my idea of him and self concept block the seeing of the bullshit I was wanting to see through. I also had the benefit of experiencing from communication here that there was some sort of beyond logicall connection and knowledge going on before I ever talked with him "in person". There's a pattern of overlooking what's already here for something great out there. How fitting that here on the forum, we already got the best. And... ultimately it's already what you are. ❤ But yeah, over 20,000 posts here and who knows how many PM's helping people, hours and hours of his time given for free, helping people, awakening people. My advice, if you're wanting to spend money and check out what transmissions are about, try Phil.

All I can offer about this whole mahasamadi/void thing is that nothing bad can come of it. If it doesn't happen... voila, you're alive and back to normal human life. If it does happen and all of reality dissolves into infinite unity-bliss for the rest of eternity, well, shit, who are you to complain? No more need to pay taxes or get prostate checks