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Somebody on reddit posted some really good questions on Kundalini Awakening, which I took the time to answer. I think I should also post it here, in case anyone's interested. Enjoy. 1. What exactly is Kundalini and how is it experienced, day to day? Is it just something you "use" or does it change the way you exist? Some of the posts I have read here almost seem to suggest that this energy can be turned on and off, like flipping a switch to put it roughly. Many suggest that it helps you learn about yourself, but that's not all it does, is it not? Psychologising yourself is no substitute for Kundalini awakening. A Kundalini awakening, at least as far as I understand it, entails at the starting point an awakening to a previously unknown dimension of spiritual awareness and action and at the end point when Kundalini conquers the Sahasrara Chakra and is fully integrated into you, it entails total enlightenment along the lines of Nirvana. Is that not correct? So in other words, from the start a Kundalini awakening should open up a whole new, different, previously unknown spiritual mode of consciousness/awareness? Does that not entail a sudden and total shift in mode of existence and perception, even if it only becomes perfected at the final stage? - There is a difference between various stages of Kundalini awakening. Those that you may call “enlightened” are the ones in whom the condition of Kundalini Awakening is a permanent fixture. The actual term is Jivanmukta, Christians would call them saints, Buddhists would refer to them as Bodhisattvas, Jains as Tirtankharas, The point is, the serpent not only rose to the top and pierced the crown (Sahasrara), but is now permanently lodged there and doesn’t descend, ever. We know from Gopi Krishna’s writings that what is required to achieve this is to keep the serpent lodged in the crown for three days and nights. I once almost managed this, during a summer solstice, when I was particularly close to the goddess and the serpent was lodged in the crown for about three days and two nights. Ultimately, I feel short and it descended again, but during that time, it was like there was a sun next to me, I felt constant heat and light emanating, even during the night, when I was trying to sleep (but really couldn’t). 2. How do you distinguish Kundalini energy and its manifestations from a merely physical sensation of the body? Someone has suggested to me before that because of the Kundalini understanding of maya, no distinction is drawn because ultimately it doesn't matter. This seems to check out with my understanding of the tradition, but I still have the nagging feeling that a physical experience would not have the qualitative, spiritual character that I am hoping to obtain. - Kundalini has many aspects, they can’t be divided from each other. There is a physical level, where there is noticeable neuroelectrical activity that takes place in the nervous system and the brain. There is an energetic aspect, which is closely linked to it. Then there is a spiritual and emotional aspect and finally a divine one, which is union with Brahman. 3. When looking for a teacher, how is one supposed to find anything on Kundalini other than Kundalini Yoga? I am aware that the posters on this subreddit dislike Kundalini Yoga. Having seen the reasons why, this makes sense to me, although admittedly I have not spoken to any proponent of Kundalini Yoga that could offer a different perspective. Nevertheless, the real issue for me is that I have no ties to any "spiritual" circles and looking up "kundalini" on the internet will in 100% of the cases return results about Kundalini Yoga rather than non-Yogic version of the Kundalini tradition, because of the nature of modern search engines and the popularity of Kundalini Yoga. I am consequently at an impasse. - It’s tough, but Gopi Krishna’s writings remain the best source in my view. Arthur Avalon (Sir John Woodroffe) is also pretty good, if a bit sensationalist. Other than that, anything you can find on Tantra and Shaktism could be helpful. 4. When still looking for a teacher, are there any recommendations on what preparations to undertake in order to make the best, fastest progress in the shortest possible time once a teacher is found? What preliminary work can an aspiring practitioner undertake alone in order to ensure a smooth, fast and easy journey? - I never had a teacher (couldn’t find one where I lived), so I’ll pass on this one. But, you don’t actually need one, in my view. Sure, it would be much easier that way, but they’re hard to come by, especially if you live in a country with zero reputable teachers or absolutely no tradition in Kundalini or spiritual awakening, like I do. You’d probably have to move countries in most cases, if I’m honest. I once a found a suitable teacher in rural Rajasthan, but he would have required me to leave everything behind and move to the forest with him and his disciples, to devote the rest of my life to Yoga and meditation. I was 23, living half a world away and it was simply not practical for me to leave everything behind at that point. I also don’t know how you would handle the visa situation if you wanted to spend a couple of decades meditating under a tree. Normally you can only stay in India for 6 months as a tourist, and no, Indian immigration won’t care that you’re seeking enlightenment. 5. I have seen some posters here claim that they combine methods from multiple traditions for their own personal spiritual journey. I am drawn to this approach. I have marked out another method I wish to use later on, but it is hard to use without some sort of spiritual basis already achieved and it is difficult to reach that stage since today it's largely a "self-taught" method and it's very difficult to actually verify what consists in successful or unsuccessful practice. I have arrived at the conclusion that learning in the Kundalini tradition and then going with the flow of what I feel would be best, perhaps including the aforementioned method, should suffice to bring my spiritual journey to conclusion, but I am unsure if combining different methods is a good idea. - If you’re going your own way and forging your own path, which for most people outside South and Southeast Asia, will pretty much be a necessity, I don’t see how you could avoid doing that. You will just have to try what works for you as an individual and stick with it. 6. I initially did not plan to ask this question and the next one, but I feel like I should. I know that in these matters, time is not something that can be calculated, but does it sound plausible for someone with a good teacher to have Kundalini pierce the Sahasrara in three months of serious and fully dedicated practice with some reasonable chance of success? - Unless you almost got there in a previous life (there would be unmistakable signs of that) and are just completing the process now, that would have to be a no. Years to decades is more realistic if you’re just starting out. Age also matters, Kundalini Awakening usually takes place around age 33 , with a couple of years either side the norm. I simply don’t buy stories of 50-year olds starting from scratch, having never meditated before, achieving full Kundalini awakening in a matter of months. 7. If I recall correctly, I also saw a reputable poster on this subreddit suggest once that there are some techniques that exist which can instantly awaken the full extent of kundalini, presumably in a basically external manner, entirely administered through the teacher - although this second part is just my assumption. Is such a thing really possible? I suspect there would be some drawbacks to this, which I don't currently need to know - I just want to know if it's possible. Similarly, I believe that this is a separate matter from Shaktipaat, which as far as I understand it refers to awakening only the base or starting form of kundalini. I would welcome any corrections to possible misconceptions in that regard as well. - They can transfer their own Kundalini energy and cause an awakening yes, but it would be more like a glimpse of the real thing, to motivate their students. It would then be up to them to work on themselves to make their Kundalini awakening a self-sustaining process. Masters can also remove blockages that hinder the process. 8. I have seen some posters refer to what they have called "physical kriyas", meaning physical movements that occur without their control and that can even throw them around a couple of metres into this or that direction. This sounds concerning to me, since phenomena of this type seem to entirely contradict the entire purpose of Kundalini - namely, growing and developing ever more advanced forms of self-understanding and self-control. A desire for self-control is one of my reasons for aiming at spiritual enlightenment and the possible existence of phenomena like this has unsettled me. Can anyone please explain this apparent contradiction? - Kriyas shouldn’t be violent like that if the student is prepared. They are usually quite gentle, more like spasms and convulsions as the energy is trying to escape and overexcited neurons keep firing. Convulsions can get quite intense if a major blockage In a chakra is being cleared, but it will move into a state of bliss and utter relief after that, not unike what happens during and after a sexual orgasm, only this is spiritual in nature.

Awesome! @GreenWoods So to get started, I think we really need a clear understanding of this whole system before we are able to effectively manipulate it based on our final goal or desire. I'm doing my researches to understand the basis of this system, below is short explanation of the five koshas I've gathered from this website. images are from multiples sources in the web. The Five Koshas (Layers) of Existence Each person has a physical body made of matter, an astral body containing prana and thoughts, and a causal body which contains the quality of spirit. The three bodies are made up of the five “koshas” or sheaths. Below is a breakdown of the three bodies and their corresponding koshas: Physical Body – The Vehicle for the Soul: Annamaya Kosha – The Food Illusion Sheath Made of food Composed of the five elements: earth, water, fire, air, and ether. Astral Body – A Subtle Body that the Eyes Cannot See: Pranamaya Kosha – The Energy Body Made of prana or vital life force Physical body is able to live and act because of prana Manomaya Kosha – The Mind Contains your mind/emotions/thoughts Thoughts and emotions move the prana Vijnanamaya Kosha – The Intellect Contains intellect and discrimination This is the power to know and discern Causal Body – The Core from Which Your Karma Originates: Anandamaya Kosha – The Bliss Sheath A thin veil of ignorance Subtle identification with separateness Here you experience your true blissful nature

Yes, pursuing enlightenment or happiness is not the same as enlightenment or happiness. The first one assumes you don't "have it". All enlightenment is is the present moment, right now. It is not a super power the ego receives which let's it write the future. If you happen to shift your focus away from the present moment into what isn't, it will feel bad, no matter "when" that happens. Understanding is your natural state, enlightenment is no longer thinking there is or creating the duality of a you that do not understand. Notice how "not getting it" is like something you "do". "I don't get it" is often a thought that is repeated and self defining. All thought is capable to do is not get it, as understanding is not a function of thought. When you get it though, there's no need to repeat to yourself "I get it!" because it no longer is an identity. Not getting it feels bad because it's literally not true. Your true self actually gets it, all the time. Enlightenment shouldn't be seen as some kind of fix that finally puts an end to the never ending problem of happiness. Enlightenment is just to stop looking for a solution and realizing there was no problem in the first place. If you see enlightenment as some thing that will fix your happiness, you will be surprised to see that there is no such thing and you don't need anything to be happy. There's no problematic ego that "gets too involved". This ego you cannot feel it, touch it, see it, hear it or taste it. It's literally non existent, only imagined. If you think it exists, you'll act like it exists and it will rule your life. Enlightenment is not some kind of reward you get from following some kind of abstinent lifestyle for a couple of years. Enlightenment is what you really are. Enlightenment is not gathering knowledge or understanding more about how things in reality work but rather what reality is in itself, which is not only extremely simple but your true self and heart already knows the answer. It may not appear as so because an imaginary ego that do not understand reality is being identified with. If you no longer imagine this ego, reality will be as clear as it can be. Enlightenment doesn't mean you don't pursuethings you want. Judgements you have against some forms of pleasures are not relevant, the only thing that matters is how you feel in the moment. If that pleasure doesn't end up feeling good it's ok, you can move on. This idea that there is an ego with egoic desire that is driving you in a direction you don't want is also untrue. You may have desires you judge as "un spiritual" or "unawake" and there might be insecurity about having those desires and what it means about who you are. (Does it mean I'm not awake if I want to have sex?) None of this insecurity is justified, you don't have to hide your desires. Some "desires of your ego" may also just be straight up not desires but ideas of a desire you happen to think you have, fear of missing out. The only way to tell if you actually want something or not is to feel. If you focus right now on yourself and ask "what do I really want right now?" that's all that really matters. All fears about not having done everything you wanted in time is ridiculous. Those fears feel bad, make sure not to misinterpret that bad feeling. Nothing (no fix, no quick pill, no pleasure) will let that bad feeling go like feeling it. The more one think he knows the less open he is to new ideas. The lack of information isn't bliss in itself but the lack of assumptions about a self that already understands reality is.

Ignorance is bliss

After talking to a good friend and describing my situation and past to them yesterday, I had a breakthrough of sorts. I have depersonalisation, lapses in my perception and sense of identity related to various parts of myself and my past. But I felt surges of emotion came back, lots of repressed grief came up but it felt nice. For the first time in a long time I felt a certain flavour of positive feeling and love/bliss. But I woke up today and, I feel a lot of strain in my head. I feel more like my old, familiar self, in a positive way perhaps. Ofc I'm still dissociated, but I'm still in the afterglow of a psychological breakthrough recently. But despite that breakthrough, I don't feel pleasant. My old self My head feels strained, and although in some sense my emotions and sense of vitality is much stronger, I feel more cold. I feel some sense of liberation, but I also feel quite mechanical and strained in my head. Strained mind which automatically calculates too much. Part of it though is the coming back of old parts of me. I feel like I have a certain clarity for action, deconstruction and authenticity. I feel less bothered by certain fears and worries which were bothering me ( although it's still ultimately here, and very strongly). But I also feel like I lack a certain type of empathy and connection to the world. Perhaps I'm not feeling any of those things and that's just my thought story and interpretation. Can anyone else here relate to that feeling of a strained mind/thinking, and not being very connected to other people? I'm just gonna try to let go and be okay with the strain, journalling and writing. Be with the strain and fear, see what happens... For the past several weeks, I've been dealing with and uncovering pretty deep fears which bother me 24/7 Edit: I'm able to relax my mind and thinking just a little by listening to signals of strain, which feels peaceful and soothing. Now I can delve into things

@Someone here Was just reading and I was feeling a state of Bliss.... felt Like my thoughts stopped for a moment..... Thank You

Suffering is bliss.

It seemed to say that the Devil had fetched her, but to be accurate, the dream said it was the wild huntsman, the gundholt, or wearer of the green hat, who hunted with his wolves that night. It was the season of Fohn storms in January. It was Wotan, the God of my Alemannic ancestors who had gathered my mother to her ancestors. Negatively, to the wild horde, but positively to the blessed folk. It was the Christian Missionaries who turned Wotan into a Devil. He is an important God, a Mercury or Hermes as the Romans correctly realized. A nature spirit who returned to life again in the Merlin of the grail legend and became as the spiritus mercurialis. The sought-after arcanum of the alchemists. Thus the dream says that the soul of his mother was taken into that greater territory of the Self, which lies beyond the segment of Christian morality. Taken into that wholeness of nature, and spirit. In which conflicts and contradictions are resolved. He went home and while riding the night train he had a feeling of great grief, but in his heart of hearts he could not be mournful. And this for a strange reason - during the entire journey, he continually heard dance music. Laughter. And jollity. As though a wedding were being celebrated. This contrasted violently with the devastating impression the dream had made on him. One the one hand, music and laughter and it was impossible to yield entirely to his sorrow. Again and again it was on the point of overwhelming him. But the next moment he would find himself once more engulfed by the cheerful melodies. One side was warm and joyful and the other of terror and grief. He was thrown back and forth between these contrasting emotions. This paradox can be explained if we suppose that at one moment death was being represented from the point of view of the ego. And at the next, from that of the psyche. In the first case, it appeared as a catastrophe that is how it so often strikes us. As if wicked and pettiless powers had put an end to human life. And so it is death is indeed a fearful piece of brutality. There is no sense pretending otherwise. It is brutal not only as a physical event, but far more so psychically. A human being is torn away from us, and what remains is the icy stillness of death. There no longer exists any hope of a relationship. For all the bridges have been smashed in one blow. Those who deserve a long life are cut off in the prime of their years, and good for nothings live to a ripe old age. This is a cruel reality which we have no right to sidestep. The actual experience of the cruelty and wantonness of death can so embitter us that we conclude there is no merciful God. No justice and no kindness. From another point of view, however, death appears as a joyful event. In the light of eternity, it is a wedding. The soul attains as it were, its missing half. It achieves wholeness. Many cultures view death as a celebration of this return to wholeness. He had a dream of his father who looked refreshed, they went into Jung's library and spoke to one another and to show off his home and family, his books that he had written - but he saw that his father was preoccupied. His father wanted something from him. His father asked him about marital psychology, but then he awoke - and realized later that it might have had to do with his mother's death. The marriage was not happy and they made typical mistakes couples make. The dream was a forecast of his mother's death. He would have to resume the relationship again but had no better understanding in this timeless state, and needed to speak to someone among the living who would have a fresh approach. Since the unconscious, as the result of it's spatio-temporal relativity possesses better sources of information than the conscious mind, which has only sense perceptions available to it - we are dependent for our myth of life after death upon the meager hints of dreams and similar spontaneous revelations from the unconscious. We cannot attribute to these illusions the value of knowledge let alone prove - they can, however, serve as suitable bases for mythic amplifications. They give the intellect the raw material which is indispensable for its vitality. Cut off the intermediary world of mythic imagination and the mind falls prey to doctrinaire rigities. On the other hand, too much traffic with these germs of myth is dangerous for weak and suggestible minds, for they're lead to mistake vague intimations for substantial knowledge. One widespread myth of the hereafter is formed by the ideas and images centering on reincarnation. India has a highly complex intellectual culture and is much older than the West - the idea of reincarnation is as much taken for granted as among us the idea that God created the world. In keeping with the spirit of the East, the succession of birth and death is viewed as an endless continuity. As an eternal wheel rolling on forever without a goal - man lives and attains knowledges and dies and begins again from the beginning, only with the Buddha does the idea of a goal emerge. Namely the overcoming of earthly existence. The mythic needs of the Occidental call for an evolutionary cosmogony with a beginning and a goal. The Occidental rebels against a cosmogony with a beginning and mere end. Just as he cannot accept that the idea of a static self contained eternal cycle of events. The Oriental on the other hand seems to be able to come to terms with this idea. Apparently there is no unanimous feeling about the nature of the world anymore than there is general agreement among contemporary astronomers on this question. To Western man, the meaninglessness of a merely static universe is unbearable. He must assume that it has meaning. The Oriental does not need to make this assumption, rather he embodies it, whereas the Occidental feels the need to complete the meaning of the world - and strives for the fulfillment of meaning in man, where the Oriental strives for the fulfillment of meaning in man stripping the world and existence from himself. Both are right. Western man seems predominantly extroverted, Eastern man predominantly introverted. The former projects the meaning and considers that it exists in objects. The later feels the meaning in himself, but the meaning is both without and within. The idea of rebirth is inseparable from that of karma - the crucial question is whether a man's karma is personal or not. If it is - then the preordained destiny with which a man enters life represents an achievement from previous lives and a personal continuity therefore exists. If however, this is not so - and an impersonal karma is seized upon in the act of birth, then that karma is incarnated again without there being any personal continuity. Buddha was twice asked by his disciples whether man's karma is personal or not - each time he fended off the question and did not go into the matter. "To know this would not contribute to liberating one's self from the illusion of existence." Buddha considered it far more useful for his students to meditate upon the Nidana chain that is upon birth, life, old age and death - and upon the cause and effect of suffering. I know no answer to the question of whether the karma which I lived is the outcome of my past lives or whether it is not rather the achievement of my ancestors whose heritage comes together in me. Am I a combination of the lives of these ancestors, and do I embody these lives again? Have I lived before in the past as a specific personality and did I progress so far in that life that I am now able to seek a solution? I do not know... Buddha left the question open - he himself did not know with certainty. I could well imagine that I might have lived in former centuries, and therefore encountered questions I was not yet able to answer. That I had to be born again because I had not fulfilled the task that was given to me. When I die, my deeds will follow along with me - that is how I imagine it. I will bring with me what I have done. In the meantime it is important to ensure that I do not stand at the end with empty hands. Buddha had this thought when he tried to keep his students from wasting time on useless speculation. The meaning of my existence is that life has addressed a question to me. Or conversely, I myself am a question, which is addressed to the world and I must communicate my answer - for otherwise I am dependent upon the world's answer. That is a supra personal life task, which I accomplish only by effort and with great difficulty. Perhaps it is a question which preoccupied by ancestors. And which they could not answer. (As I sit here, writing this - this Being speaks. I don't know who it is - the artwork comes from a song called "Stuck in a Timeloop". The Gods must have a slow, drawn, deliberate way of using words - that carry - like playing something of intellectual/metaphyisical substance at .25 and fully understanding what is said, words become LUSTROUS; golden, liquid and FELT - and I will bet the words circle around like that, too - in waves of information, sound, and whathaveyou. I've gotten about ten other signs from the other side, but they come in so fast and there is too much information within them to be able to write it out - which is as it usually goes. There are major things happening across the planet that will change things in one way or another, for better or worse, I don't know - and all the intelligences collected over billions of years culminating into this One Singular moment, and the energy, life, karma, nature, consciousness, awareness... I could make a long list... the witnesses for this event are leviathans. This really is, if there is ever a time - it would be happening Now. It seems odd to say this, because i know that a lot of people have said so in the past - but I can SEE it and FEEL it and KNOW it. And with how the world is changing the way that it is - and the cosmologies that we have... I can't explain it, but the tipping point for everyone is sneaking up and no one can really see it, and I don't know what it is other than an inner knowing, and a process much like Jung's - but at the end of the day you can never fully be sure up until the end. I feel like I am starting to get a good grasp on this, though - but it is not translatable into language. As above, so below. This is especially pertinent to witches/shamans/moons/sorcerers because we have access to some sort of thing that reaches out from the other side. I wonder how they will appear for different people? And I don't much care if people believe me or not, and I don't want anyone to follow me because I am just learning and exploring. I feel that makes me authentic, for those reasons - this morning, a shift in energy - there aren't signs anymore so much as rapid succession of the environment giving me clues about how this reality works - mythology is personal.) The dionysians' side of life to with the Christian seems to have lost the way. Or is the the restless Wotan Hermes of my ancestors who poses challenging riddles? Would I feel to be the resultant of my ancestors lives? Or a karma acquired in a previous personal life might perhaps equally be an impersonal archetype which today presses hard on everyone and has taken a particular hold upon me. An archetype such as, for example, the development over the centuries of the divine triad and its confrontation with the feminine principle? Or the still pending answer to the gnostic question, as to the origin of evil, or to put it another way - the incompleteness of the Christian God image. Through the achievement of an individual, a question enters the world - to which he must provide some kind of answer. For example - my way of posing the question as well as my answer may be unsatisfactory - that being so - someone who has my karma or I myself would have to be reborn in order to give a more complete answer. It might have been that I would not be reborn again so long as the world needed no such answer. And that I would be entitled to several hundred years of peace until someone was once more needed who took an interest in these matters and could profitably tackle the task aknew. For a while a period of rest could ensue until the stint done in the previous lifetime needed to be taken up again. The question of karma is obscured to me. As is also the problem of personal rebirth, or of the transmigration of souls. With a free and open mind, I listen attentively to the Indian doctrine of rebirth and look around at the world of my own experience to see whether somewhere and somehow there is some authentic signs pointing toward reincarnation. A belief is only the phenomenon of belief, not the content of the belief. Jung had a series of dreams that gave him insight into reincarnation but did not find proof in the outer world, but after the experience viewed reincarnation with a new lense - thought without being in a position to assert a definitive opinion. If we assume life continues there we cannot conceive of any other form of existence except a psychic one. For the life of the psyche requires no space - and no time. Psychic existence and above all the inner images with which we are here concerned - supply the material for all the mythic speculations about a life in the here after. He imagines that life as a continuance in the world of images - thus the psyche might be that existence in which the hereafter, with a land of the dead, is located. From this psychological point of view, life in the here after would seem to be a logical continuation of the psychic life of old age. With increasing age, contemplation and reflection, the inner images naturally play an ever greater part in man's life. Your old men shall dream dreams that to be sure presupposes that the psyches of the old man have not become wooden, or entirely petrified. In old age, one begins to let memories unroll before the mind's eye, and musings to recognize one's self in the inner and outer images of the past. This is like a preparation for an existence in the hereafter - just as in Plato's view philosophy is a preparation for death. The inner images keep me from getting lost in personal retrospection. Many old people become too involved in their reconstruction of past events. They remain imprisoned in these memories. But if it is reflective and is translated into images, this is beneficial. Try to see the line that leads through your life into the world and out of the world again. In general, the conception people form of the hereafter is largely made up of wishful thinking and prejudices. Thus in most conceptions, the hereafter is pictured as a pleasant place that does not seem so obvious to me, I hardly think that after death - we shall be sprinted to some lovely flowering meadow - if everything were pleasant and good in the hereafter, truly there would be some friendly communication between us and the blessed spirits. And an outpouring upon us of goodness and beauty from the prenatal state - but there is nothing of the sort. Why is there this insurmountable barrier between the departed and the living? At least half the reports of encounters with the dead tell of terrifying experiences with dark spirits, and it is the rule that the land of the dead observes icy silence, unperturbed by the grief of the bereaved. The world is far too unitary for there to be a hereafter in which the rule of opposites is completely absent. There too is nature, which after its fashion is also God's. The world into which we enter after death will be grand and terrible - like God and like all of nature that we know. Suffering does not entirely cease, granted that what I experienced in my 1944 visions, liberation from the burden of the body, and perception of meaning - gave me the deepest bliss. Nevertheless, there was darkness, too. And strange cessation of human warmth, If there were no imperfections, no primordial defect in the ground of creation - why should there be any urge to create? Any longing for what must be yet fulfilled? Why should the Gods be the least bit concerned about man and creation, about the continuation of the Nidara chain to infinity? After all, the Buddha opposes to the painful illusion of existence, as quote none - and the Christian hopes for the swift coming of this world's end. It seems probable that in the hereafter too, there exists certain limitations, but that the souls of the dead only gradually find out where the limits of the liberated state lie. Somewhere out there, there must be a determinant. A necessity conditioning of the world which seeks to put an end to the after death state. This creative determinant - so I imagine it, must decide what souls will plunge again into birth. Certain souls, I imagine, feel the state of three dimensional existence to be more blissful than that of eternity. But perhaps that depends on how much of completeness or incompleteness they have taken across with them from their human existence. It is possible that any further spell of three dimensional life would have no more meaning, once the soul had reached a certain stage of understanding. It would then no longer have to return, fuller understanding having put to route the desire for re-embodiment. Then the soul would vanish from the three dimensional world and attain what the Buddhists call Nirvana. But if a karma still remains to be disposed of, then the soul relapses again into desires and returns to life once more. Perhaps even doing so, out of the realization that something remains to be completed. It must have been primarily a passionate urge toward understanding, which brought about my birth. For that is the strongest element in my nature. This insatiable drive toward understanding has, as it were, created a consciousness in order to know what is and what happens, and in order to piece together mythic conceptions from the slender hands of the unknowable. We lack concrete proof that anything of us is preserved for eternity, at most we can say that there is some probability that something out of our psyche continues beyond physical death. Whether what continues to exist is conscious of itself, we do not know either. We feel the need to form some opinion on this question, we might possibly consider what has been learned from the phenomena of psychic dissociation. In most cases, where a split off complex manifests itself it does so in the form of a personality. As if the complex had a consciousness of itself. Thus the voices is heard by the insane are personified. I dealt with this phenomenon of personified complexes in my doctoral dissertation. We might, if we wish, adduce these complexes as evidence for a continuity of consciousness. Likewise, in favour of such an assumption are certain astonishing observations in cases of profound syncope after acute injuries to the brain and in severe states of collapse. In both situations, total loss of consciousness can be accompanied by perceptions of the outside world, and vivid dream experiences. Since the cerebral cortex, the seat of consciousness is not functioning at these times, there is as yet, no explanation for such phenomena. They may be evidence for at least a subjective persistence of the capacity for consciousness. Even in a state of apparent unconsciousness, the problem of the relationship between eternal man, the self and earthly man - in time and space, was illuminated by two dreams of mind. In one dream, which I had in October - 1958, I caught sight from my house of two lense shaped metallic gleaming discs which hurtled in a narrow arch of the house and down to the lake. They were two UFOs. Then another body came flying directly toward me. It was a perfectly circular lense, like the objective of a telescope. At a distance of four or five hundred yards it stood still for a moment and then flew off. Immediately afterward, another came speeding through the air, a lense with a metallic extension which lead to a box. A magic lantern. At a distance of 60 or 70 yards, it stood still in the air, pointing straight at me. I awoke with a feeling of astonishment. Still, half in the dream, the thought passed through my head. We always think that the UFOs are projections of ours. Now it turns out that we are their projections. I am projected by the magic lantern as C.J. Jung, but who manipulates the apparatus? I had dreamed once before of the problem of the self and the ego. In that earlier dream, I was on a hiking trip. I was walking along a little road through a hilly landscape. The sun was shining, and I had a wide view in all directions. Then I came to a small wayside chapel. The door was ajar and I went in. To my surprise, there was no image of the virgin on the altar and no crucifix either, but only a wonderful flower arrangement. But then I saw that on the floor in front of the altar facing me sat a yogi in lotus posture in deep meditation. When I looked at him more closely, I realized that he had my face. I startled in profound fright and awoke with the thought - "Aha!" - so he is the one who is meditating me. He has a dream. And I am it. I knew then, when he awakened I would no longer be. I had this dream after my illness in 1944. It is a parable. My self retires into meditation and medites my earthly form. To put it another way, it assumes human shape in order to enter three dimensional existence. As if someone were putting on a diver's suit in order to dive into the sea. When it renounces existence in the hereafter, the self assumes a religious posture as the chapel in the dream shows. In earthly form, it can pass through the experiences of the three dimensional world. And by greater awareness, take a further step toward realization. The figure of the yogi then, would more or less represent my unconscious prenatal wholeness and the far East, as is often the case in dreams a psychic state, alien, and opposed to our own. Like the magic lantern, the yogi's meditation projects my empirical reality. As a rule, we see this causal relationship in reverse. In the products of the unconscious we discover mandala symbols, which express wholeness and whenever we wish to express wholeness, we employ just such figures. Our basis is ego consciousness. Our world, the field of light centered upon the focal point of the ego - from that point, we look out upon an enigmatic world of obscurity. Never knowing to what extent the shadow we form we see are caused by our consciousness. Or possess a reality of their own. The superficial observer is content with the first assumption, but closer studies show that as a rule - the images of the unconscious are not produced by the consciousness. But have a reality and spontaneity of their own. Nevertheless, we regard them as mere marginal phenomena. The aim of both these dreams is to affect a reversal of the relationship between ego consciousness and the unconscious. And to represent the unconscious as the generator of the empirical personality. This reversal suggests that in the opinion of the other side, our unconscious existence is the real one. And out conscious world, a kind of illusion. An apparent reality constructed for a specific purpose. Like a dream which seems a reality as long as we are in it. It is clear that this state of affairs resembled very closely to the Oriental conception of Maya. Unconscious wholeness therefore seems the true spirit of all biological and psychic events and strives for total realization, which in man's case, signifies the attainment of total consciousness. Attainment of consciousness is culture in the broadest sense, and self knowledge is therefore the heart and essence of this process. The Oriental attributes unquestionably divine significance to the self and according to the ancient Christian view, self knowledge is the road to knowledge of God. The decisive question for man is, is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite, can we avoid fixing our interest upon futilities. And upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal possessions. Our talent or our beauty. The more man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims. And the result is envy and jealousy. If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change. In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody. And if we do not embody that, life is wasted. In our relationships to other men, too, the crucial question is whether an element of boundlessness is expressed in the relationship - the feeling for the infinite, however, can be attained only if we are bounded to the utmost. The greatest limitation for man is the self. It is manifested in the experience "I Am" only that. Only consciousness of our narrow confinement in the self forms the link to the limitlessness of the unconscious. In such awareness, we experience ourselves concurrently as limited and eternal. As both the one and the other. In knowing ourselves to be unique in our personal combination, that is ultimately limited, we possess also the capacity for becoming conscious of the infinite. But only then in in an era which has concentrated exclusively upon extension of living space and increase of rational knowledge at all costs, it is a supreme challenge to ask man to become conscious of his uniqueness and his limitation. Uniqueness and limitation are synonymous. Without them, no perception of the unlimited is possible and consequently, no coming to consciousness either. Merely a delusory identity with it which takes the form of intoxication. Our age has shifted all emphasis to the here and now, and thus brought about a demonization of man and his world. The phenomenon of dictators and all the misery they have wrought springs from the fact that man has been robbed of transcendence by the short sightedness of the super intellectuals. Like them, he has fallen a victim to unconsciousness, but man's task is the exact opposite. To become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious. Neither should he persist in his unconsciousness. Nor remain identical with the unconscious elements of his being. thus evading his destiny. Which is to create more and more consciousness. As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affects us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious.

Find Christians with true devotion and love for God and Christ. You can connect with them on the level of appreciation for the Divine. Of course they will try to indoctrinate you. Your direct experience should already inoculate you against that if you’ve been doing significant consciousness work. Some well-developed Christians have access to a source of spiritual love and bliss most here on this forum have likely never experienced. That is what they call the Holy Spirit. This is not monopolized to Christianity or their dogma, but their love and devotion to Christ gives many of them a direct experience with this. An experience of the Holy Spirit is likely the best thing you’ll find in interactions with Christians. You can find it in many other places and with other methods, but being with Christians who are truly filled with love for God and Christ might be one of the most likely sources. I’ve spent the past few months in regular/weekly meetings with Mormon missionaries. It’s been a beautiful experience which has shown me that if you cannot connect spiritually with genuine religious seekers (this certainly isn’t many of them) then there is a problem of judgment and over-attachment within you too. Best of luck. Try interacting with multiple denominations of Christians if the first does not resonate.

DPT is a mellower brother of DMT. More focused on the outside and physicality, while DMT is internal, eternal bliss. I am not so sure of that description, as I still explore both substances, but this is my first impression. Edit: I have got a better example to illustrate them. DPT turns you into a powerful werewolf that can shoot lightings from hands, DMT turns you into a very wise immortal stone that falls to the floor, haha. That's the difference in vibe.

Yes in the same way as psychedelics it does happen. it happens through Kundalini rising. They rise their Kundalini energy and massive amount of energy rushes into your brain and fucks with every cell in your brain. That's how they enter Samadhi. In a mushroom trip it literally happened to me. Tremendous amount of energy did enter my spine and moved to my brain, movement of it in the spine caused experiencing immense love and bliss. I can work with this energy but still I'm unable to stimulate it the way mushroom does for me. And I know I just need more practice to achieve mastery with it.

Imo it's much more than that. And idk how your definations go but i think it's weird to put nirvana before self realization. Here's how I'd define it in simple terms. 1. Searching For The Ox - You searching for ultimate contentment in daily life without actually realizing it so you go after money, sex, power, fame, etc. Or you hearing about enlightenment and going for it loosely which is direct pursuit of the ox. 2. Seeing The Footsteps - Getting glimpses of something but not quite sure. Being very interested in philosophy because you see some value in it that you cant really pinpoint. (Your philosophy really being spirituality, but you do not call it spirituality because you dont like that .) Or maybe you do consider yourself spiritual and you are some buddhist monk who has been going at with meditation and have started to see something you are not quite sure. Tons of nuances. 3. Seeing The Ox - A mystical experience of any of the facets of awaking. Or multiple experiences. See how in this picture, there is only tail or a part of the ox shown? Because you rarely see it in full the first time. 4. Catching The Ox - Trying to be able to embody whatever you have realized fully. Like tryna embody self-realization/god-realization after initial seeing. 5. Taming The Ox - After you have embodied it, you keep going deeper and deeper into your understanding and awakening, 6. Riding The Ox Home - You embody even the deepest parts of those realizations. You know you do not exist, there's only God, but also are in a state of no mind. You let life truly unfold on it's own without any interference because you cannot interfere in the first place, This is state of pure bliss. As stated in the poem. End of suffering. Your biggest obstacle to knowing the full truth is bliss now, the opposite of suffering. 7. The Ox Transcended - True end of seeking. 8. The Ox & Self Transcended - Despite all your realizations and embodiments, there was still some percentage of self/ego left, maybe 0.0000000001% but it was there. Now it has gone completely. Even without you seeking, because once you have embodied those realizations, those realizations act as a flame that slowly melt away your delusions even without you trying. As stated in the poem "Could a snowflake survive inside a burning flame?". You understand God even deeper, passed the hurdle of bliss. Emptiness, nothingness. You probably cannot say anything about this emptiness at all. 9. Return To The Source - Grounding yourself back to earth. Coming back into the world. 10. Re Entering The Market Place - You do not preach, do not teach. You are so fucking enlightened that you can hand people realizations without any effort. In my definition of Nirvana, it is merging back into the source. So that'd be the death of your body. You cant have Nirvana or Mahasamadhi until your body is alive and kicking. Atleast that's my defination. Keep in mind my accuracy goes down from Taming the ox onwards. As taming the ox is as far as I can see lol. Also this is all mental masturbation without the work. We tend to project our journey and understanding of spiritualty onto the meaning of these stages, why? Because we want to be as high as we can in this 'model of enlightenment' to feel good about ourselves and then declare that to the world. Imo these stages have a fuck ton of nuances and go much deeper than what I said in this reply.

@RedLine Jesus this turned into a monster if a text hehe. Pain is really negative emotion that you are not cognizing as emotion. It's good that you are cognizant of this pain and have some insight to it's nature, most people are too numb to even notice. All emotions exist in the body. The placement of these emotion are mapped out by the chakra model. The way to resolve all this is to fully go into the pain, get to know it and then transform it into the positive expression that it seeks to become. It's clogged up energy but it's still energy and thus has tremendous potential. It is seeking to go from its current solid form to a more moving and transforming form which is liquid form, and then to a blissful, spacious, liberated gas form. This pain will not disappear into nothing but rather unfold into something positive, something you have been seeking for a long time, like grounding, power, self-assertion and self-expression. This is an intuitive, gentle and intimate process. Using hard shit for this kind of healing is the wrong paradigm. Psychedelics could aid this intimate process, a low dose of something like lsd that doesn't give you hallucinations could be a good aid, but any crazy psychedelics seem unfit for you right now. You can fix all of this sober. With the right understanding, wisdom and techniques you have that power. If the pain in your chest comes from fear then I would guess that its strongest in your solar plexus and emanates from there. This is a minor chakra that's between the naval and the heart chakra and can negativity impact both when closed. In its open state it's tranquil and serene, in its closed state it's anxious. This functionality is closely related to the root chakra which is in your perineum, near your anus. In its closed state it's fearful and uncomfortable and in it's open state it's grounded, secure and comfortable. For this I recommend the protective bubble technique, it will sooth both chakras. Protective bubble technique Imagine that you are inside a bubble with the diameter of roughly your length. The ball is about 4 inches thick and made out of a transparant material that is glowing with beautiful light. The bubble should be felt as an intelligent energy, rather than dead materia. Inside this bubble you feel completely safe, embraced, tranquil, joyful and loved. Both feel these qualities emanate from within you and feel like you are receiving this from the bubble. The walls of the bubble are semi permeable, good energy such as love and joy flow freely through the walls. But negative energy such as domination, suppression, unloving expectations or anything that is less than completely loving and accepting, is kept out by the walls. I’m talking about negative energy both from people and our thoughts, perhaps the idea of our mother or father. This bubble subconsciously symbolizes your boundaries. If negative energy gets through the walls against you will, it might be a sign that you need to set and articulate boundaries in relation to the negative entity. This is a function of the throat chakra. In your head, talk to the intruding entity, be intuitive. Ask it what it wants and establish boundaries with it. Listen to what the entity wants but don't comprise with it. Try to articulate why it's wrong. Let love be the mediator here. If the bubble feels limiting in any way that means that you are not letting good energy flow through it. Let go of the limiting feeling but keep the healthy boundaries. The visualization itself is only a tool to get in touch with the subtle sense of how your boundaries should be. Keep the subtle sense and the attitude throughout the day. The point of this is to cultivate healthy boundaries and the attitude that we won’t tolerate negative energy, boundary violations or threats from the outside. There is absolutely no good reason to ever be affected by other people’s unloving, negative energy. There is no good reason to not be fully happy right now! It’s about allowing yourself a level of happiness that is unwisely seen as unacceptable by others and our culture. When you have established a health bubble, just sit and bask is self-love, self-acceptance and happiness, while protected by the bubble. You can stay an bask in this wellbeing or you can continue into the other techniques. The contracting of the throat is the throat chakra. As you know, it's repressed stuff. You have things that you want to say and it remedy is to say it. Self-expression technique - can be done after establishing the protective bubble or by itself. In your head, say the things that you hold back or anything that pop into your mind. Some key words here are "I feel ...", "I want ..." And "I like ...". Example: "When this person did that I felt unloved and betrayed. I want him to apologize and I feel resentful that he hasn't." Like this you articulate in your mind clearly whatever you are thinking. Let it be a stream. Really get into it. As you keep going you might want say things aloud. Let the process evolve naturally. Whatever works for you is the right way to do it. When you really get into it you might want to scream and shake and go crazy as your energy gets unstuck. That is progress you don't have to verbalize your screaming but definitely flow with the energy and don't suppress it energetically. When you have purified your emotions you will eventually find that these emotions have clouded a profound gratitude that will reveal itself. Don't force it. Express good things if it comes naturally. Pay extra attention to your throat while doing this. You can try to incorporate the breath into this by breathing deeply and relaxing your throat and do the self expression on the out-breath. Start with this exercise as it will begin to purify your other stuck energy, not only your throat chakra. I'm guessing the reason you have become accustomed to suppressing yourself is because your parents suppressed your will and your expression of that will as a child. A suppressed will is an angry will. So some of your anger might be directly liked to this suppression and might be remedied by the self-expression technique. The bubble and the expression technique should dissolve some of your blockages but probably not all of it. For that you should get into the chakra and open it to it's happy state. Overview of chakra system, find more precise placement of chakras on google: Chakra name Solid, closed, repressed state, passive Liquid, closed but active and transforming state, has a will to seek catharsis in gas state Gas, open, happy, blissful, cathartic Element(the solid, liquid, gas form of energy is only metaphorical and not related to element which is a deep aspect of our psyche and cognition) Root Ungrounded Fearful Grounded, secure Earth/physicality Sacral Alienated, lonely Horny, approval seeking Embracing, passionate, lively, connected, orgasm Water/movement Navel Submissive, victim complex Angry Joyful, benevolent power Sun/warmth, change, vitality Solar plexus(minor chakra) Withdrawn Anxiety Tranquility, serenity None Wish tree (minor chakra, located right under heart chakra and is connected to it and it's love. Many think these are one and the same chakra and they almost are, so you can see this as an aspect of love) Nihilistic Longing Fulfilled, purposeful None Heart Apathic Hatred Loving, healing Air/spaciousness, sky Throat - doesn't have an emotion in itself but is rather a conduit for previous chakras Suppressing Expressing discontent Expressing content, gratitude Ether - irrelevant Head - also doesn't have an emotion in itself. Is the ego itself, the master chakra. All other chakras are mirrored here as thoughts and are controlled from here. Unconscious Dualistic, ego awareness, closed-mindedness, dissociation Non-dual, boundless awareness, happiness, open-mindedness None Crown - melting together with the cosmos - irrelevant in this context All chakras influence the others and all are effected by physical conditions like lack of sleep or poor nutrition. So your healing won't take as long for every chakra as when you open one you positively impact the others. The heart chakra has the biggest impact on the overall system as it's the healing chakra. So you want to fist focus on the heart chakra to then use its love in healing the other chakras. You wrote that the chest pain also is anger which I would guess is actually felt strongest lower down around your navel area and parallel vertebrae. You wrote that you also experience anger in your head. This is a missing of the anger in your navel chakra. All lower chakras are mirrored in our head as thoughts. If the energy is stuck in our head tho I would think it means the anger is combined with dissociation from the anger. This is healed by going into the anger and resolving it instead of avoiding it. Own up to the anger instead of casting it to the shadow. Use this technique to open the remaining chakras (although use the previous technique for the throat chakra): Chakra catharsis release technique - can be done after establishing protective bubble or by itself Choose a chakra to work on, this can be changed after a while i you like. Find where in this area you feel the most energy, either in solid, painful form or in liquid form. Take a deep breath. On the in-breath, bring up the liquid form of the chakra you are working on the most energy-dense point. Feel the energy radiate outwards from this point and don't restrict the energy to this point at all. Make it as intense as possible, the intenser the liquid form, the more solid energy is transformed to liquid, and the stronger the eventual catharsis. On the out-breath transform the liquid form into its cathartic gas form. The liquid form has a seed of the gas form in it. Find that positive crenel in the liquid form and go into it while letting go of the negative aspects of the liquid form. There are two additions to add to the out-breath step that you can add when you got the hang of the basic technique: Combine the positive expression of the chakra with love. This turns root chakra comfort and security to flourishing, sacral chakra pleasure into loving embrace, naval chakra joy into generous nourishing, and head chakra awareness into loving surrender. On the out-breath also tune in to the chakras element. Root chakra: tune in to the physicality of earth, the space you are in and your body sitting on earth, feel grounded. Sacral chakra: tune in to the water element, it's a warm and embracing water, feel it all around. Feel the density of the water. The world is in constant cyclical movement like ebb and flow. Flow with the world, breath with that flow and feel your stomach and chest expand and contract. The water element is what connects us with the world. Feel that connection with nature as you breath with the world. Just like nature ebbs, flows, turns from night to day your body ebbs and flows with the breath. Like Bruce Lee said: Be like water my friend. Naval chakra: feel a sun in your belly, radiating your powerful love outwards, warming and nourishing the entire world with it's blindingly bright light. Heart chakra: tune in to spaciousness. The spaciousness of the room you are in, of your body and lungs. Imagine your body being hollow. Breath the spaciousness, breath love and feel how spacious love is. Feel how still and how peaceful it is. Breath deeply. Feel that spaciousness expand infinitely. It's soothing. It's indestructible. Let's use the navel chakra as an example, on the in-breath feel a powerful anger radiating from your gut. On the out-breath find the kernel of joy and benevolent power in the anger and go into the happiness of that while letting go of the painful negative aspects of the anger. As you breath out you radiate that cathartic, powerful joy. Hold the out-breath for as long as comfortable and just bask in the bliss of the positive expression(gas form) of the chakra. Once you have gotten in to the positive open gas form of the energy, stay with that on the in-breath too and forget about the liquid form if it feels right. It can be a bit tricky to get this technique right, there are many subtle distinctions to make and you have to experiment a bit to get this all right. Take this process in your own hands and follow your intuition. Whatever feels right to you is what you should do. Be a little careful with going into the power of the navel chakra as it can increase your overall prana and make the painful chakras even more painful. If you feel this happening, then focus more on the blissful joy side of the chakra and less so on the power side of the chakra. Or switch your focus entirely to dissolve other pain or focus more on the heart chakra. For more information on these techniques and more complementary techniques, I highly recommend 5-Minute Miracle by Tara Springett. Pro tip: make the last meal before doing these exercises only fruit, preferably water rich fruit. Fruits are the most prana rich foods on the planet and will get your energies moving. I myself am enjoying good vibes and high energy on an entirely fruitarian diet. I'm glad you reached out with this because everything is healable and everyone deserves healing. Hope all this is insightful and helps. Let me know how these techniques work for you or if they don't, or if you have any questions. Lastly here is a great song about life and healing: https://youtu.be/sg209CadVQM

@mandyjw You and your dad are honestly quite lucky to have experienced this. I don’t want to sound pushy, but I really think this is an incredibly important ability to develop if you have been able to experience it already. Generating it 100% on your own for the first time through a conscious effort seems very unlikely to me, so please appreciate the opportunity you seem to have been given with this. It’s a source of innocent bliss that is life enriching, but possibly the most important thing is that you are sharing this bliss with another being. A lot of the time, this being could simply be your higher self from what I’ve been able to conclude. Other times it’s a family member or stranger or anyone else who might also benefit from this shared gift of spiritual bliss. There was a time when I felt compelled to go to a small cemetery at night with a friend who has some psychic talents. When I was there, I kneeled and prayed that any souls there that may still be attached to this plane may be given the opportunity to progress. As soon as I got back in the car with my friend, she started feeling this Holy Spirit/clairsentience sensation I’ve been talking about here, and I felt it at the same time as well. I’m quite certain a soul there had been released and was showing its gratitude to both of us for being there to assist in that process. It seems that I likely experienced a very similar thing to what you and your dad did less than 15 minutes after my girlfriend’s uncle passed away just a month or so ago. It actually was the event that rekindled this connective ability in me. It had been somewhat dormant for a while. When someone passes, it seems that they are at least in some cases in a state where they have the ability to reach out to those who they knew well. With this Holy Spirit/clairsentience type connection, it usually is triggered by a thought for me. The more positively and emotionally charged this thought is, the more likely I’ve been able to experience this connection. I sincerely hope you get to experience the development of this further. I’d bet it’ll happen at some point if that’s what’s right even if you don’t try to consciously work on it. Any spiritual work you do will ultimately bring you more in alignment with this possibility. The more people who tap into this, the better humanity will come to understand it and how it functions. Just imagine if we could all consciously transfer this innocent divine bliss to each other. It would be a great advancement in the quality of life and spiritual connectedness of humanity as well as any other beings we’d wish to transfer this experience to.

Read the text after the first paragraph below this to hear about a significant shift I had yesterday. I already made a thread of this, but it seems relevant to your question. I mean each awakening experience is a drastic shift. They all over time lead to a new understanding about what life is. It takes a number of these to really change how you see things. One of the most valuable insights for me has been that the Self designed absolutely everything about your experience of life in an absolutely Perfect way. Awakening experiences (bliss) are kind of like the cherry on top of the sundae (normal life/suffering). If all you had was a giant cherry, you’d probably start seeking the ice cream and other ingredients after a while. The troubles you have are there only to make things even more outstanding. Happiness is great, but I think contentment is a better goal. Suffering isn’t your enemy. It’s your greatest ally. Rest confidently in that realization, and you will be rather rock solid in your overall acceptance of existence. Here’s what I experienced yesterday: Tl;dr - Experiencing pain and physical stress, especially as someone with a history of spiritual practice, can serve as a potent catalyst for awakening. Pain and suffering are just as much divine blessings and Love as bliss and “positive” experiences. Today has been the most painful day of my life, but it has also spawned one of my deepest awakenings in an effortless albeit extreme way. I was having a follow-up appointment today for my broken toes and foot lacerations from a lawnmower accident last week. It was incredibly painful. I vaped some delta-10 & delta-8 THC on my way to the appointment. THC for me has been just as powerful if not more powerful than any psychedelic I’ve ever taken. One big hit off of my fully legal (federal & state in U.S.) vape pen is enough to surpass or rival 10 tab LSD or 6 gram mushroom trips. I’ve also been pursuing Liberation for about seven years very diligently. With that context out of the way, I’ll get into my story. This is the first time I’ve ever used delta-10 THC. I usually always get tired from delta-8 and delta-9 (main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis). It’s supposed to be very energetic and support a more active lifestyle while also being more psychoactive than similar doses of delta-8 which I usually use. I started to experience a rise in consciousness rather quickly after trying the delta-10/8 combination. Within 10 minutes, I was closing my eyes and pleasantly surprised with a really deep spiritual connection. As I went to my appointment, this feeling increased at times. During the most painful parts of the appointment when my exposed nail beds were having dried bandages and dressings ripped off of them on my broken toes and I was experiencing a strong reaction to the numbing agent they gave me which felt like my foot was dipped in acid that was simultaneously on fire, I experienced Cosmic Consciousness for the first time. I’ve experienced God Consciousness and many other spiritual states over the past few years, but this was a new facet to me. Rather than the God Consciousness or realization that I was literally the Creator of all existence, I became consciously connected to literally everything there is. It was a truly remarkable and breathtaking experience. I’ve had many experiences with Infinity, but this was very similar to my Infinite Freedom experience described in the video in my signature. Quite soon after the Cosmic Consciousness experience, which was actually quite brief, I began to think of other awakenings I’ve had. I was able to recall much of those states I had experienced previously with levels of intense imagination connecting me to the energies felt in the past. This activated a sort of spiritual telepathy/higher chakra connection that I’ve been experiencing and developing for the past several months. At this time, one of the ancient mystics who I’ve found a deep personal connection with and appreciation for, the Sufi Mansur Al-Hallaj, came to my mind. I connected to him through this spiritual telepathy in possibly the most intense instance of this type of experience that I’ve had thus far. This all occurred precisely as I was experiencing really severe physical pain. This gave me an insight into how grounding and physical survival has the potential to serve as an incredibly intense spiritual catalyst. There is incredible intelligence in the design of us experiencing what feels like a physical existence. The grounding aspect comes into play when severe pain and physical distress is experienced. It’s one thing to experience a mystical state through psychedelics or meditation in a controlled and comfortable setting, but this is ultimately a one-dimensional experience in many aspects in that the physical world and mode of existence has become somewhat secondary or even irrelevant in many of these experiences. When this type of “higher chakra” experience happens, it’s common to become disconnected from some of the lower chakras or more basic aspects of physical survival. To experience an intense physical distress connecting you to lower chakras/base survival while also having large spiritual and higher chakra awakenings acts in a way in which the awakening experience becomes exponentially enhanced. It became clear to me that Jesus, the Buddha, and many other ancient spiritual adepts, if the stories are true, actually had incredibly deep awakenings due to the way the human body can support higher consciousness states during periods of extreme stress to the physical body/system. The pain experienced during something like Jesus’ crucifixion, Mansur Al-Hallaj’s hanging/execution, and periods of intense and prolonged fasting or other ascetic practices challenged the individuals involved to face some of the absolute deepest survival-based attachments and ultimately experience a letting go and immense catharsis brought about by awakening. Later in the day, I took a nap. When I woke up, the numbing agent had worn off completely, and I discovered that the nurse at my appointment had tightened my protective boot to the point that it had severely cut off circulation to my foot. I experienced the same acidic burning pain throughout my entire foot for several hours. It was far more painful than when my foot was actually cut and broken by the lawnmower blade and lasted far longer. I called the hospital which recommend that I immediately go to the emergency room. I called my mom to take me there, but when she arrived the pain had become so intense that I refused to move. I realized that if I moved my foot or took it out of its elevated position that it would be absolutely unbearable. After the first hour of this intense pain, my body began to essentially turn off the pain response/signal. It’s as if my body realized that the pain signal was no longer helping and had become worse than any of my various physical issues and symptoms. At this point I experienced an intense euphoria and sense of peace. I began to look toward death in the most positive and accepting way. I realized that if I died right there on my couch I would likely be sent to levels of bliss that would be unimaginable even compared to previous awakenings I’ve had. Part of the reason they wanted me to go to the ER immediately is because I’ve been having chest pains, significantly lower blood pressure, light headedness, and other symptoms. The nurse who I spoke to on the phone was worried about the possibility of heart failure or other serious outcomes. Luckily, the situation mostly resolved itself although I’m still experiencing some pain which comes and goes. Life always has the potential to astound you at any moment without warning. The unpredictability of this life should never be underestimated. Although less likely for some compared to others, you could go from having a boring day to having a sudden awakening to the deepest aspects of reality while even taking a piss or standing in line for coffee. The most abundant source of this comes for most people through the experience of physical death. Even the spiritually uninterested atheist can potentially become directly conscious of their own Infinite nature as the Totality of Existence without any effort in some cases. Existence is pure magic and Love. What was supposed to be a routine appointment and relatively uneventful day turned into one of the most intense and significant days of my life which has contributed to my spirituality immensely.

@mandyjw Hey, I just checked out your YT channel for the first time today. You’ve got a lot of good content on there. Let me know if you wanna collab lol. Love and connection is essentially a requirement for it from what I’ve seen. There are different levels or aspects of this. There is a sense that is gained which is quite close to what I’ve heard Christians describe the Holy Spirit to be which is a very specific type of bliss that is shared. Some use the word clairsentience to describe this as well. This is most commonly experienced when connecting with spiritual entities, entities adept in telepathy, and deceased people, but it is also shared with certain living people who have a strong spiritual side. This is still a bit different than the emotional connection which can either be the healing of emotions or the sharing of a specific emotional experience exactly as it occurred. The first type of this connection always feels relatively the same no matter who or what it is with although it can vary greatly in intensity. Another level exists in which you can experience all sorts of sensations during this connection/communication. These have occurred mainly in the brain region for me. Pressure in certain areas or even the sensation of significant movement within your brain have been the most common forms of this I’ve experienced. I wouldn’t expect a living human, regardless of their level of development, to be able to trigger this type of sensation in you. I’ve not experienced this with deceased humans either. It’s quite amazing how diverse these types of spiritual/emotional telepathy can be. I’m sure many other forms have been experienced by others than just what I’ve described here. I would definitely try to develop what you experienced with your grandmother if I were you. For me the connection was cultivated with a specific being/group of beings before it became more generally accessible to me. Your connection with your grandmother is certainly very special if this is the only case it has occurred in for you. Focusing on thoughts of appreciation and love for her would be the best shot for you to tap into this more in the future I would imagine. If it ends up the same for you as it has for me, this would be the first step toward being able to connect in this manner with a variety of spiritual guides, mystics, or beings you have a unique relationship with beyond any limitations of space or time.

Tl;dr - Experiencing pain and physical stress, especially as someone with a history of spiritual practice, can serve as a potent catalyst for awakening. Pain and suffering are just as much divine blessings and Love as bliss and “positive” experiences. Today has been the most painful day of my life, but it has also spawned one of my deepest awakenings in an effortless albeit extreme way. I was having a follow-up appointment today for my broken toes and foot lacerations from a lawnmower accident last week. It was incredibly painful. I vaped some delta-10 & delta-8 THC on my way to the appointment. THC for me has been just as powerful if not more powerful than any psychedelic I’ve ever taken. One big hit off of my fully legal (federal & state in U.S.) vape pen is enough to surpass or rival 10 tab LSD or 6 gram mushroom trips. I’ve also been pursuing Liberation for about seven years very diligently. With that context out of the way, I’ll get into my story. This is the first time I’ve ever used delta-10 THC. I usually always get tired from delta-8 and delta-9 (main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis). It’s supposed to be very energetic and support a more active lifestyle while also being more psychoactive than similar doses of delta-8 which I usually use. I started to experience a rise in consciousness rather quickly after trying the delta-10/8 combination. Within 10 minutes, I was closing my eyes and pleasantly surprised with a really deep spiritual connection. As I went to my appointment, this feeling increased at times. During the most painful parts of the appointment when my exposed nail beds were having dried bandages and dressings ripped off of them on my broken toes and I was experiencing a strong reaction to the numbing agent they gave me which felt like my foot was dipped in acid that was simultaneously on fire, I experienced Cosmic Consciousness for the first time. I’ve experienced God Consciousness and many other spiritual states over the past few years, but this was a new facet to me. Rather than the God Consciousness or realization that I was literally the Creator of all existence, I became consciously connected to literally everything there is. It was a truly remarkable and breathtaking experience. I’ve had many experiences with Infinity, but this was very similar to my Infinite Freedom experience described in the video in my signature. Quite soon after the Cosmic Consciousness experience, which was actually quite brief, I began to think of other awakenings I’ve had. I was able to recall much of those states I had experienced previously with levels of intense imagination connecting me to the energies felt in the past. This activated a sort of spiritual telepathy/higher chakra connection that I’ve been experiencing and developing for the past several months. At this time, one of the ancient mystics who I’ve found a deep personal connection with and appreciation for, the Sufi Mansur Al-Hallaj, came to my mind. I connected to him through this spiritual telepathy in possibly the most intense instance of this type of experience that I’ve had thus far. This all occurred precisely as I was experiencing really severe physical pain. This gave me an insight into how grounding and physical survival has the potential to serve as an incredibly intense spiritual catalyst. There is incredible intelligence in the design of us experiencing what feels like a physical existence. The grounding aspect comes into play when severe pain and physical distress is experienced. It’s one thing to experience a mystical state through psychedelics or meditation in a controlled and comfortable setting, but this is ultimately a one-dimensional experience in many aspects in that the physical world and mode of existence has become somewhat secondary or even irrelevant in many of these experiences. When this type of “higher chakra” experience happens, it’s common to become disconnected from some of the lower chakras or more basic aspects of physical survival. To experience an intense physical distress connecting you to lower chakras/base survival while also having large spiritual and higher chakra awakenings acts in a way in which the awakening experience becomes exponentially enhanced. It became clear to me that Jesus, the Buddha, and many other ancient spiritual adepts, if the stories are true, actually had incredibly deep awakenings due to the way the human body can support higher consciousness states during periods of extreme stress to the physical body/system. The pain experienced during something like Jesus’ crucifixion, Mansur Al-Hallaj’s hanging/execution, and periods of intense and prolonged fasting or other ascetic practices challenged the individuals involved to face some of the absolute deepest survival-based attachments and ultimately experience a letting go and immense catharsis brought about by awakening. Later in the day, I took a nap. When I woke up, the numbing agent had worn off completely, and I discovered that the nurse at my appointment had tightened my protective boot to the point that it had severely cut off circulation to my foot. I experienced the same acidic burning pain throughout my entire foot for several hours. It was far more painful than when my foot was actually cut and broken by the lawnmower blade and lasted far longer. I called the hospital which recommend that I immediately go to the emergency room. I called my mom to take me there, but when she arrived the pain had become so intense that I refused to move. I realized that if I moved my foot or took it out of its elevated position that it would be absolutely unbearable. After the first hour of this intense pain, my body began to essentially turn off the pain response/signal. It’s as if my body realized that the pain signal was no longer helping and had become worse than any of my various physical issues and symptoms. At this point I experienced an intense euphoria and sense of peace. I began to look toward death in the most positive and accepting way. I realized that if I died right there on my couch I would likely be sent to levels of bliss that would be unimaginable even compared to previous awakenings I’ve had. Part of the reason they wanted me to go to the ER immediately is because I’ve been having chest pains, significantly lower blood pressure, light headedness, and other symptoms. The nurse who I spoke to on the phone was worried about the possibility of heart failure or other serious outcomes. Luckily, the situation mostly resolved itself although I’m still experiencing some pain which comes and goes. Life always has the potential to astound you at any moment without warning. The unpredictability of this life should never be underestimated. Although less likely for some compared to others, you could go from having a boring day to having a sudden awakening to the deepest aspects of reality while even taking a piss or standing in line for coffee. The most abundant source of this comes for most people through the experience of physical death. Even the spiritually uninterested atheist can potentially become directly conscious of their own Infinite nature as the Totality of Existence without any effort in some cases. Existence is pure magic and Love. What was supposed to be a routine appointment and relatively uneventful day turned into one of the most intense and significant days of my life which has contributed to my spirituality immensely.

@Striving for more If you remove attachment and just begin acting, then there you go. Just follow your bliss

Follow your bliss.

Holism & Holistic thinking part 1 The two formulas: holism = wholeness = health = healing = unity = oneness = the infinite = harmony and balance = goodness = love = God = selflessness = wisdom = beauty = holy = heaven = bliss a lack of holism = division = fragmentation = partiality = brokenness = a lack of harmony and balance = limitation = the finite = selfishness = the ugly = evil = hell = suffering

Ignorance is bliss -- in the short term. But also, don't underestimate how bad your friends' lives are. Your friends are miserable deep down and their lives are a house of cards which can easily get knocked over. They have been practicing mindlessness. That's why. When you don't contemplate life, life is easier. You just live like animal. Takes years and decades to develop that. It is a mistake to compare yourself to others, compare yourself to your old self. No! They are morons. Which, oddly, makes them happier. Living a contemplative life is hard. Which is why your friends aren't doing it. The reality is that you have hardly even begun to do consciousness work. You think you're doing it, but you've only dipped your toe in the water, hence you don't have much results. If you are going to pursue a conscious life, you have to hold yourself to very different standards than average people. You take on WAY more responsibility. But also: Don't forget to have fun too! Don't be too serious about life.

Thanks veganawake. I know i'm this, but i want to know when this is going to start being felt as bliss and peace. @allislove Yeah makes sense. I have had many sessions recently where I feel myself on the verge of a deep surrender to the now but then i just get up and pat myself on the back haha. I'm trying to be more diligent and get myself on the cushion more i think it's only a matter of time now.

It's about how deep you can accept the present moment. The acceptance should be so deep, even the "my" label should drop from "my experience". Then, there is only experience, that is bliss.

@allislove This doesn't feel like bliss and peace though. I am aware, or awareness is aware, but it doesn't lead to any meaningful change in my experience. If this is it, and it's always just this, what does it take for the bliss to come from that pointer? @The Buddha Rupert calls the nature of the self peace/happiness. I think if a person were in pure bliss they would count themselves as pretty happy and satisfied.

The Self Isn't Happiness, that is true. Because happines is refined pleasure. The Self is pure Bliss. So u will not find happiness in The Self, u will find no pleasure at all. Because those concepts do not exist in a full completition state of being. When u are full, complete and perfect: u don't feel just pleasure or mere happines: u feel fucking ecstatic and if u fully let go u are pure bliss.