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I am going through the same thing. Transformation tends to be an ugly process, but it leads to something greater.

Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after . Legend goes Taurus wrote his first book on a Leo Comment section as his first post in the community. Since then everyone both loved and hated him for he was the Taurus. Reading is a function. You can call that function. Or you can choose to run another function. But stick all your attention in one function, like reading, because that's the only thing you're doing right now. Or breathing. I mean, right now you are breathing AND reading this. because if you weren't reading it, you wouldn't know I said it, and if you're reading it, you definitely must be breathing, otherwise you'd be dad. Let the body control the breath, because it is vital. Don't let your monkey mind close you your breath ever. You dont want to give the tail of the snake to the snake, because it will hurt the snake. Give out LOVE to receive LOVE. Love is the best story, love is the best life. Love is when your life works out perfectly, exactly how you want it, because in every moment you want exactly this. The thing that is happening to you. You want to be reading this and you are enjoying your body, as if you are consuming energy all the time and receiving the pure joy of having a position and the thought that you are something and that you matter to someone. Like getting reputation on Actualized.org or becoming a dragon with wings and burning the entire existence just for the LOLS, because you are a keyboard warrior and you can say what you wanna say and do what you wanna do, because life is too precious to waste it on typing slowly. Type as fast as you can, and you can never bee spoken down upon. Cause nobody's reading that far, who am I kidding [Reply by Anonymous Keyboard Warrior] lol that kid cares -Taurus [+1B reputation] because Yeah, I am a keyboard warrior, but there is a reason for it. And that reason is South park. They make me into a keyboard warrior with the ideas that they allow my mind to think is possible. And that's fucking possible, because it's happening. I can say anything. It's art. It's drawing. Drawing something into nothing in a virtual space that will soon be gone and forgotten never seen by anyone, nobody noticing what is right infront of their face. The beauty of life itself, not finding a truth, because one has to see the truth is all around them and be satisfied with what they have and actually be truthful that everything around them is beautiful. It's like the prettiest girl being in-love with you, but you are too honourable to leave your station as keyboard warrior. That's how ready I am for this. My ships of freedom of speech are vast and of many varieties. The first variety I need to specify is the variety of chance. When I am not thinking, I am thinking that there's 0 chance of something happening. But then reality proves me wrong, by showing me, look, you were wrong. Now learn. You are an awesome machine. But you gotta stop trying to control it, because it has a momentum of it's own, we are the master of ourselves. We are the puppetmasters of our selves. We are high above, controlling ourselves from as high as we want. And if we're eccentric freaking maniacs we will go so deep, that we become the servant. The real master serves to the servant. Because it's a friendship - You do something for me, I have to do something for you. Certainly that's how Thesis: Nobody will read this, even though reading is the most amazing activity. By itself in itself, you become the page. The empty space... Because when you write something that you wrote you create the 3d space in which intelligence to shine. Nobody can move your muscles but yourself. Feeling relaxed is better than feeling good. You can be in grave danger, and still be calm, because if you show fear, the enemy will know. You gotta be fearless. Like a cat that has to be a Lion to protect it's kittens. So I can say anything I want..! Oh My. I decided to edit and made this post into a ritual, so I strongly urge people not to read this, because it's my own secret private place that I don't want anyone to see. And you are going to see it - reading is the best thing you could be doing at this moment. Not even that, reading this will be the most enjoyable thing to you, because it is so unlikely to be happening, that it is a universal experience, one of a kind, one that cannot be replicated and yet it has been replicated, and we are the ssame, but freekidi doo dah. +....@ <-We all got issues like this guy, but that doesn't mean we can't let them go. Letting go. Reading on like a feather being pushed slightly in a single direction and then the other. You are surfing on my words. Please pop on. You are reading only the tops of each letter and you know the letters in 3d form. You are the most amazing code. Too bad it can't run the function. A prayer and a meditation are functions. Everything else is brushing with white. The only important thing is hidden in the junk. Sometimes you have to really deep dig in the dirt to find the gold. We can fail. But we do it anyway, because who cares, we are still reading and we are training the mini intelligence within. Actually fuck that scratch that I can give less fucks? Nobody's reading this junk, someone might even think it's spam, cause they will be freaked by the amount of letters coming their way. But if I say Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after. I am saying secrets that can bring joy and beauty to this word through complete transformation of your thought to be just light, screen. The empty page in front of you, which you want to fill with the present moment and the filling of the empty space. While only thinking about the empty space, you are going to be able to say or do anything you want, because you are free to do so. This is a state of thought so amazing, because every single little decision seems like is coming from you, while in fact it is coming from the mother god who is the motherboard to existence, a mountain so huge and beautiful, it has cast us away for being too simple. Until we jump forth and do what we had forgotten we can do. This is filling the nothingness with something. You are doing that just by being and this is your golden form, just being yourself, relaxing and letting your body take care of the work, while you are drifting off into fairytail land where you meet god and all his angels and you go into all that deep stuff you know. The deep shit. But the SIMPLE reality is that you change conciousness all the time. Conciousness is just your state of mind, state of conciousness is state of mind looked through the prism of the mind. the mind is like a snake chasing it''s tail cause it has nothiing else to left. It's playing cat and mouse, so it spun and spun, faster and faster until one day she realized she was alone, the black colour alone. The feeling of intense joy and aliveness that I feel when I am in front of the blank page. It gives me all the freedom in the world to type big scripts and incredible stories, if only I switch the music on. I'm gonna do Yoga and return. I am the only one in the room. I am typing these words. At this moment this is what I want to say the most. It's me again'ts nothing. There's no thing on the page. It's just me and the page. Ok. We have established connection to headquarters. We are here and now, ready to type away. We are incredible machines of vast superpowers to use the keyboard of a device that can grant wishes. You can play with it, it's just another wave. Ok. Too Deep. Let's bring it back to the beginning. In the beginning there was time? Wait, what time is it? 23:57. I must be in another state of consciousness because of my meditation sessions earlier. Either my mind is playing tricks on me, or you're still reading it at this point. What I am about to say, you are not going to skip. And even if you skip them, I wouldn't mind, because if you skipped these words, then I know you did not even read them, so I am safe to write, because it is illogical for anyone to ever be watching what I am saying at this moment. It's about waves really. ~What is a wave? A structure perhaps, but listen. This is my presentation. I put forth to you the power of the waves. It's not me tho,, I am learning too The hands are doing all the work, ALL I have to do was sit myself in front of the blank screen and allays look at the blank. We don't even need to think about how we write because we are doing it automatically. I can safely say that if you are reading at this point, you are really loving this because otherwise you wouldn't even be doing it. My mind does this by itself, and it does it because it doesn't matter if anyone else experiences this text, the speed with which I am typing it and the very concentration I have over this activity is taking me out of my usual state of nothingness and puts me in the field of large texts and big numbers. The numbers make no difference, because there is infinity between 0 and 1 and they are not even that big of numbers, in FACT they are the primal numbers, the white and the black were their ancestor. The computer is humanity's child yet to be born. It's our canvas. Our art is waiting to be born in it's amazing saving and sharing potential. Man, the internet is awesome. For expression. But I am straying away from what is primary. The primary thing is that we are both experiencing this text in a certain way. And we can only experience it in the human way, the real human way, is to be in front of the screen, completely encapsulated by what you are doing in the online world, defeating dragon code at work. Now comes my choice. I am literally doing training for my hands. My hands are teaching my body. They are dancing on the keyboard my typing is really sexy Any girl will fall for a keyboard warrior like me because I am not going to let her attention go. I will alllways add another line and be the perfect human being for her, because that's what she wants. She wants me to be a real human. Not some superhuman freak with 100 abilities like reading minds or astral projecting into other realms. Other realms can fucking wait, because my conciousness is completely absorbed with the screen, and the virtual reality of the empty space that I am filling with my black ink of art. On a FREAKING AWESOME Friday night. A night so memorable I can already see. Behind me as the story of being a human body. And boy, I love water so much, because it gives me pure white energy from the source and is giving me gold on the inside that is pouring over my internal and exteral reality. It can do things on it's own better than if I control it I understood, that when nobody has the ultimate rules, you can be anything, because you set the rules. Being an atheist is the best blessing, because they are not expecting anything from anyone, and therefore taking things into their own hands. And use the power of the present moment... Fuck that. It's not even the present moment. I just am myself. And when someone is themselves they have impecable word and what they say is what it is. It's solidified, so nobody will tell me that I can't say this or this or this. Well. I need to relax. I am still the master owner of this white little space of nothingness. Nobody else can reach the fast speed that I am achieving at this moment as two spiders jumping on top of a laptop. This is my reality at this moment. I had forgotten nay, I have forgotten. Why Am I doing this? I am going to do Yoga. Look at the top. It's like you've travelled through time, look at the start of this. You used to be a peasant to the nothingness, but now you are filling it with something. That's the power. We are making something new here. Those pixels in infinity wouldn't have existed in this order unless I put them there at this exact same order. This feels fantastic and I am not one to lie about this. We have to admit our body knows more than us and we are the body. Lol that kid thinks he's enlightened? No. He is exercising his finger muscles to move around the keyboard in a sense of I don't even care. Just don't even care about what you have to write and see how smart your body is ;o.

@Bebop jup, the Point is that we don`t know how far away this Realisation is for us. We might hallucinate about just being one tick away and being in fact the farest possible distance away. but at some Point a Quantum leap into that or Transformation should happen. For sure we cannot force that ourselves. It is also some kind of grace that is always there but we are not yet receptive for it to happen.

a lot has been written here about the spiritual process and descriptions what it is and what it is not. you get soaked in for the wrong reason, you as an entity want some Kind of Liberation for yourself. either to be free from suffering or to experience something that is told to be sooo incredibly big brings blissfulness, peace and joy. In a way what you know right now seems to be not enough you don`t want to settle for it or you are just curious what that Thing is. then you learn about it intellectually and absorb an amount of descriptions & Information that is processed within your mind. You also learn that it includes you being not what you thought you are. You are creating an alternative model of how that could replace the old identity. But this is just hallucination even if you try to see everything as yourself and reflect that intellectually. You can be stuck in this state probably forever as it is very entertaining. next step is that you have an experience glimpse of that you are not what you thought you are. You find out that there is no person that could get enlightened or otherwise stay in the dark. The mind cannot grasp that and holds onto his picture and even fights against it. Or it hallucinates about being God and how good this "God mode" might feel and what it brings along for you. The mind is proven wrong again and again by experience and contemplation. A distance is establishing between you and your mind, you take it only seriously when it is inline with your experience or awareness and let it think what it wants otherwise. the Body/mind is understood as something that is like an awareness control Center and "seat or perspective of experience" but that is as "outside" or "inside" yourself as everything else that you can become Aware of. As the outer world comes closer, the inner world gets more distance and they are moving towards a merger. then there is no inside and outside, there is just "you". This seems to be the magical path as it can be somehow described also there might be a lack of logic. I understand that when I am not recognizing everything as myself from experience that I am not yet enlightened or awakened. It`s not something that can be missed. You can surely hallucinate about being enlightened but being far away from it, but you cannot be enlightened and not know it. It leaves you completely transformed whereas everything else are just some changes of identification. At the end stands your honest recognition of your true self through experience and releasing all fascinating hallucinations about it once and for all. so what or who is triggering the final Switch that cannot be reversed? What prevents us from pushing the button? Why can`t we let go what we created in an instant? It seems like we don`t want to take the toys of the Little kid that we are. OK we are spiritual, we take some toys but we hesitate to take all. Why? Probably because we are not conscious about the enormity of what we started just playing around with this enlightenment stuff? like playing with fire. It makes fun only as Long as you have the fire under Control even if it is a big fire. Letting everything burn happens either as an accident, as an act of Desperation or out of tremendous curiosity that makes you forget about all kind of consequences. That`s what we are aiming at right? as always, everything posted can just be words, even not my mother tongue, just thoughts, just concept. But questions are helpful as even experience can come out of posing it. (otherwise this talking is all nonsense and in fact it is in a way...) universal regards, Wendelin

I actually read up about this and followed the four steps. The transformation I experienced is surreal, I think it's really like a spiritual transformation. For example, I used to have confidence and self-esteem issues, and now they're just all gone because I know they are not logical and since logic is my core value I just let go of them immediately. I also feel super clear-headed, present in the moment, and have total peace of mind all day long since I followed these steps earlier this day. Ego has vanished completely, I have no sense of identity any longer, I just am. However, I'm still a bit skeptical because maybe this is just a placebo and I will stop being in this state of absolute peace and joy tomorrow or sometime soon. I will do some more research into this and report back to you guys in a few days. @nolenjoney Logic is not cold. Think about it, if it wasn't for logic – the mathematical patterns that govern our universe – you would not be able to experience anything that you experience. Since the laws of nature are what bring about everything that we can perceive we have them to thank for things such as pleasent emotions, etc. Also, I think that logic can be used to solve humanity's suffering, and there are two reasons why I think so: i) Every major advancement in human history has been made thanks to our ability to understand logic and apply it to reality (e.g. medical system, houses, the Internet, computers, and so on); ii) Since I change my core value to logic (or at least I think I did, but we'll have to see) all my problems vanished from one second to another as it was just not logical to have them (e.g. low self-esteem, lack of confidence, procrastination). PS: Sorry for the messy post, I am in a really excited and tired state while writing this. (Excited because of the effects of following the steps that were outlined in the documentary.)

Modern folks tend to re-invent the wheel a lot in ignorance when it comes to psychology or spirituality. It's ironic because psychology and spirituality have been fully understood by humans since over 5000 years ago. It's very simple and it's virtually unanimous. The core problem is simple: ego The core solution is also simple: realize that ego is an illusion God is what remains when ego is realized to be an illusion. There cannot be true freedom until this is realized. God is not a set of patterns or universal laws. God is not logic. God is indiscriminate and unbounded, whereas patterns and laws and logic are limitations, facets of Absolute Infinity. This technique they share may be helpful on a practical level, but remember, there are much deeper and more profound things to discover. If we're gonna boil down reality to one thing, it should be CONSCIOUSNESS, not logic. What this video is doing is sorta making a weak version of spirituality palatable to rational-minded people who normally dismiss spirituality and religion because of its packaging. But actually these people do not understand the deep core of all religious and mystical traditions and how practical and therapeutic it is. Modern culture needs things packaged in "logic" in order for people to swallow it. Which is actually a big part of the problem because logic is a tool of the ego. The problem with trying to rationalize nonduality/reality is that it will always ultimately fail, because rationalization is conceptual in nature, and reality is beyond concepts. What would really help people watching this video is to let go of their need for logic, concepts, thinking, rationality, science, and evolution. Now that would be a really counter-intuitive move, and lead to an amazing transformation!

@ChimpBrain You're on the right track, but your thinking it still too small, and you lack deep research. Study the hell out of this field. There's so much potential here. But you're gonna have to do research. And remember to think BIG. Ask big questions like, "What does humanity need in this field?" Worm gardening? Is that really important? Or maybe humanity needs environmental education and awareness? Or an organization that promotes these concepts? Etc. Don't think of this issue as, "How can I make a living doing something Earth-friendly?" No! That's too selfish and small. Instead think of the issue as, "How can I transform how humanity relates to the Earth?" Now that would be you thinking in terms of providing VALUE to the world. And then it would only be a matter of research to discover what that WAY should be. Do research by reading dozens of books, studies, and magazines on this topic. Go to some seminars/conferences/expos. Go meet people who work in this industry. Find out where the opportunities are and why people are so unconscious when it comes the environment. Then you'll have tons of ideas for how to solve these real-world problems. A life purpose must be grounded in helping people overcome real-world challenges. That's what generates both IMPACT and MONEY. To create a career, you need to find a way to meaningfully impact others in practical ways. Then they will gladly pay you for it. What transformation do you want to see in terms of humans and environment? What change would be immensely valuable? Maybe it's saving the polar bears. Maybe it's getting people to stop littering. Maybe it's raising awareness about the threat of global warming. Maybe it's planting new rainforests. Maybe it's developing a new type of solar panel. Etc. Now find YOUR thing! The thing YOU'D really be passionate about.

Documenting more insights... I've come to sort of an understanding as far as why enlightened people describe this world as a "dream". There's really no way of distinguishing it from one and if we compare it to actual dreaming, there are striking similarities. I know that wherever it is I came from was some sort of void. I've known for some time that I more or less "faded" into existence. Sometimes when I sleep, I go periods of time without even dreaming of anything. I imagine this is the same phenomenon as the life-death cycle. What's really quite frightening is that if this is a dream world then that means "I" could very well end up anywhere else in the universe randomly upon my "death". The possibilites are limitless. I suspect that this is why Jed McKenna describes leaving the dreamscape as a foolish idea similar to exiting a submarine or spaceship. How I ended up in this realm, I don't know. Where I'll end up next is beyond me. Over the past months, I've been haunted by intense suicidal urges. Part of me still kind of wants to die but now I see that that might be pretty dumb. I started thinking more about how Japanese people have certain emotions that they can only feel when they think in that language which leads me to believe that maybe I've been tricking myself into thinking that I'm depressed. Maybe anytime I feel emotions for an extended period of time, I'm playing a trick on myself. If the language we use determines how we perceive and interpret reality that maybe emotions are as fictional as the concepts we use to identify them. Yesterday I thought I was done. Enlightened but it seems like theres still further to go. On the other hand, I've also suspected for some time that I have been enlightened since high school since thats when I gained self-awareness, shed most of my ego, began looking at life as a "movie", viewing most people as "characters" or "actors", and I also underwent a noticeable transformation. I just didn't have the knowledge with which to interpret and integrate those experiences before. Maybe that was the beginning of the death of my ego and now I'm finishing the job. The way all the gurus describe enlightenement, they say that it's completely obvious and there will be no doubt when it happens. Lots of people seem to also describe it as the dissolution of the barrier between you and the environment. I don't know if I should follow that especially since killing all Buddhas is part of the process, allegedly.

<11-21-2016> Inventions Begin With A Blueprint I've re-stumbled upon Leo's Personal Development Blueprint. It's basically Personal Development For Dummies. I don't know why Leo hasn't been promoting it more recently. Anyway, I've decided to read each entry one-by-one in order and actually learn and take action on the blueprint. I've gotten to the part about resistance and also connected it with the entries about mastery and life purpose and it really helped me to stay focused today. I'm not sure if it will last in the long term but I have to make sure that it does. Consistency and Discipline are very important for life transformation. However, it was not easy. I kept having urges to stop working and go do something easy and fun. In the end, I got a lot of creative work done and I hope to keep increasing my level of productivity throughout the week if not at least consistent. After reading what I've read so far, I think it's also best I make a Mission Statement as soon as possible. I don't know yet when I'm going to do it because I want to read more on the blueprint first before writing such an important document. When it's done, I am to read it every morning after waking up, no exceptions. That's all for today. Man, today was rough. Emotionally rough. But I did what I wanted to do today. Yippee.

The concepts in this journal are taken from the book; the Four Agreement by DON MIGUEL RUIZ. It is a such an effective book of life transformation if taken seriously. I read the book one year ago. I did practice some of its cencept, but I need to get to the next level. Domestication and the Dream of the Planet WHAT YOU ARE SEEING AND HEARING RIGHT NOW IS nothing but a dream. You are dreaming right now in this moment. You are dreaming with the brain awake. Dreaming is the main function of the mind, and the mind dreams twenty-four hours a day. It dreams when the brain is awake, and it also dreams when the brain is asleep. The difference is that when the brain is awake, there is a material frame that makes us perceive things in a linear way. When we go to sleep we do not have the frame, and the dream has the tendency to change constantly...... PRELUDE TO A NEW DREAM There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with other people, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children. But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality. In these agreements you say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; this is possible, that is impossible.” Each time you break an agreement, all the power you used to create it returns to you. If you adopt these four new agreements, they will create enough personal power for you to change the entire system of your old agreements. You need a very strong will in order to adopt The Four Agreements — but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing. You will see the drama of hell disappear right before your very eyes. Instead of living in a dream of hell, you will be creating a new dream — your personal dream of heaven. The Four Agreements, which should be installed are the followoing: 1) Be impeccable with your word. THE FIRST AGREEMENT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth..... Just imagine what you can create with impeccability of the word. With the impeccability of the word you can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life. You can live in heaven in the middle of thousands of people living in hell because you are immune to that hell. You can attain the kingdom of heaven from this one agreement: Be impeccable with your word. How To Apply The Agreement: Not using the word "I will " I should try to say only positive words about myself and other people. Reality is just as it is. I have ZERO control over it. All I do is turning within and cleaning myself up. 2) Don't Take Anything Personally The deep I could meditate so far is 4 hours. I ( will) make it a habit from now on. So, four hours of SDS everyday. this wil help to expand my awareness. I believe it will help me not taking things personally and making assumption about others. THE NEXT THREE AGREEMENTS ARE REALLY BORN from the first agreement. The second agreement is don’t take anything personally. Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Using an earlier example, if I see you on the street and I say, “Hey, you are so stupid,” without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, “How does he know? Is he clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?” You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell. What causes you to be trapped is what we call personal importance. Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me.” During the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me! 3) Don't Make Assumption There is just "seeing". I experienced seeing after a 3 hours od meditation. I know how it feels. So, that " state" should be permanant, all the time. Well, hopefully.. There is only "here" "now" what time is it? Now!! THE THIRD AGREEMENT IS DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking — we take it personally — then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment to consider the truth of this statement. The whole war of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally. Our whole dream of hell is based on that. 4) Always Do Your Best Do my best in the gym to get the body I want. Do my best in my social interaction. I am giong to do my best in my online marketing. I am an ABNORMALLY passionate beginner on this field. So, It is mastered for sure . Reading and updating this journal everyday. THERE IS JUST ONE MORE AGREEMENT, BUT IT’S THE one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best. Do your best to follow those four agreement. Know that your best change from time to time. You are not going to be" your best all the time, but it is ok. Breaking Old Agreements Awareness is always the first step because if you are not aware, there is nothing you can change. If you are not aware that your mind is full of wounds and emotional poison, you cannot begin to clean and heal the wounds and you will continue to suffer. There is no reason to suffer. With awareness you can rebel and say, “This is enough!” You can look for a way to heal and transform your personal dream. The dream of the planet is just a dream. It is not even real. If you go into the dream and start challenging your beliefs, you will find that most of the beliefs that guided you into the wounded mind are not even true. You will find that you suffered all those years of drama for nothing. Why? Because the belief system that was put inside your mind is based on lies. THE ART OF TRANSFORMATION: THE DREAM OF THE SECOND ATTENTION One way to change your beliefs is to focus your attention on all those agreements and beliefs, and change the agreements with yourself. In doing this you are using your attention for the second time, thus creating the dream of the second attention or the new dream. The difference is that you are no longer innocent. When you were a child this was not true; you didn’t have a choice. But you are no longer a child. Now it’s up to you to choose what to believe and what not to believe. You can choose to believe in anything, and that includes believing in yourself. The first step is to become aware of the fog that is in your mind. You must become aware that you are dreaming all the time. Only with awareness do you have the possibility of transforming your dream. If you have the awareness that the whole drama of your life is the result of what you believe, and what you believe is not real, then you can begin to change it. However, to really change your beliefs you need to focus your attention on what it is that you want to change. You have to know which agreements you want to change before you can change them. So the next step is to develop awareness of all the self-limiting, fear-based beliefs that make you unhappy. You take an inventory of all that you believe, all your agreements, and through this process you begin the transformation. The Toltecs called this the Art of Transformation, and it’s a whole mastery. You achieve the Mastery of Transformation by changing the fear-based agreements that make you suffer, and reprogramming your own mind, in your own way. One of the ways to do this is to explore and adopt alternative beliefs such as the Four Agreements. Heaven on Earth I WANT YOU TO FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE learned in your whole life. This is the beginning of a new understanding, a new dream. The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time. You have the power to create hell, and you have the power to create heaven. Why not dream a different dream? Why not use your mind, your imagination, and your emotions to dream heaven? PRAYER FOR FREEDOM Today, Creator of the Universe, we ask that you come to us and share with us a strong communion of love. We know that your real name is Love, that to have a communion with you means to share the same vibration, the same frequency that you are, because you are the only thing that exists in the universe. Today, help us to be like you are, to love life, to be life, to be love. Help us to love the way you love, with no conditions, no expectations, no obligations, without any judgment. Help us to love and accept ourselves without any judgment, because when we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty and we need to be punished. Help us to love everything you create unconditionally, especially other human beings, especially those who live around us — all our relatives and people whom we try so hard to love. Because when we reject them, we reject ourselves, and when we reject ourselves, we reject You. Help us to love others just the way they are with no conditions. Help us to accept them the way they are, without judgment, because if we judge them, we find them guilty, we blame them, and we have the need to punish them. Today, clean our hearts of any emotional poison that we have, free our minds from any judgment so that we can live in complete peace and complete love. Today is a very special day. Today we open our hearts to love again so that we can tell each other “I love you,” without any fear, and really mean it. Today, we offer ourselves to you. Come to us, use our voices, use our eyes, use our hands, and use our hearts to share ourselves in a communion of love with everyone. Today, Creator, help us to be just like you are. Thank you for everything that we receive this day, especially for the freedom to be who we really are. Amen. PRAYER FOR LOVE We are going to share a beautiful dream together — a dream that you will love to have all of the time. In this dream you are in the middle of a beautiful, warm sunny day. You hear the birds, the wind, and a little river. You walk toward the river. At the edge of the river is an old man in meditation, and you see that out of his head comes a beautiful light of different colors. You try not to bother him, but he notices your presence and opens his eyes. He has the kind of eyes that are full of love and a big smile. You ask him how he is able to radiate all that beautiful light. You ask him if he can teach you to do what he is doing. He replies that many, many, years ago he asked the same question of his teacher. The old man begins to tell you his story: “My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love. “That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire — a fire that doesn’t burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally. “But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, and the trees loved me back, and I became one with the trees, but my love did not stop, it grew more. I put a piece of love in every flower, in the grass, in the earth and they loved me back, and we became one. And my love grew more and more to love every animal in the world. They responded to my love and they loved me back, and we became one. But my love kept growing and growing. “I put a piece of my love in every crystal, in every stone in the ground, in the dirt, in the metals, and they loved me back, and I became one with the earth. And then I decided to put my love in the water, in the oceans, in the rivers, in the rain, in the snow. And they loved me back and we became one. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air, to the wind. I felt a strong communion with the earth, with the wind, with the oceans, with nature, and my love grew and grew. “I turned my head to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and put a little piece of my love in every star, in the moon, in the sun, and they loved me back. And I became one with the moon and the sun and the stars, and my love kept growing and growing. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love.” And then the old man opens his own chest, takes out his heart with that beautiful flame inside, and he puts that flame in your heart. And now that love is growing inside of you. Now you are one with the wind, with the water, with the stars, with all of nature, with all animals, and with all humans. You feel the heat and the light emanating from the flame in your heart. Out of your head shines a beautiful light of different colors. You are radiant with the glow of love and you pray: Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light. Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in love the rest of my life. Amen Who am I? I don't know who am I, and I have no problems saying so I don't have a biography whatever I thought my biography was is utturly meaningless, a waste of joy In what date I was born, in what country, I was born in what religion, I belong does not matter, a waste of time I do not follow the Quran, the bible... I do not follow any prophet or guru, again, a waste of time what matters is what I am here now..

Celibacy is not a discipline, it is a consequence. If your whole energy is needed, sex disappears automatically because you don’t have energy to waste. You put your total energy so you don’t have any energy... and it happens in ordinary life also. You can see a great painter: he forgets women completely. When he is painting there is no sex in his mind,because the whole energy is moving. You don’t have any extra energy. A great poet, a great singer, a dancer who is moving totally in his commitment, automatically becomes celibate. He has no discipline for it. Sex is superfluous energy; sex is a safety valve. When you have too much in you and you cannot do anything with it, the nature has made a safety valve; you can throw it out. You can release it, otherwise you will go mad or burst – explode. And if you try to suppress it, then too you will go mad, because suppressing it won’t help. It needs a transformation, and that transformation comes from total commitment. A warrior, if he is really a warrior – an impeccable warrior, will be beyond sex. His whole energy is moving.

@Alex K So, the qualifications: Discrimination ( which is covered above) Dispassion for objects (happens naturally once student can discriminate ) A shubda pramana (means of knowledge - Vedanta) A qualified teacher who can wield the knowledge. Self acceptance (warts and all) Devotion ( bhakti - devotion for the self's reflection (Isvara, the cosmos) Foreberance Single pointedness of mind (a mind capable of contemplation on the teaching and being able to stay on course. A mind easily distracted won't assimilate knowledge of the self.) Faith in the teachings pending the results of your inquiry. Curiosity and open mindedness transforms into knowledge upon seeing the truths revealed from the scriptures. The point is not to change onselsef as a person, just to gain qualities of mind capable of assimilating the knowledge. The end result is that the person and the world is all perfect as is. No need to change it because there is no desire to change it . Freedom is the goal. Now the saintliness of the person will depend on what his or her role is here, not their choice. Because once you know you are not the doer, the doer can't be changed, it is left to get on with its purpose here. Vedanta teachings are free of charge, they belong to humanity, not to a person. Of course, the modern self help guys want you to think it's about personal transformation because it keeps them in business.

Habits: I think I will not continue this "Habits-Transformation"-thing. I found out that the key to all these habits is consciousness. Consciousness alone. Bad habits are an indicator for low quality consciousness and the only solution is raising your consciousness. I found that visualizing the consequences and listening to this quiet voice inside is helpful. http://www.osho.com/read/featured-articles/body-dharma/the-art-of-eating This will basically be the solution to my overeating. The solution to my excessive internet time is sitting on my couch, meditating and doing exercises from the books.

@Schulzy @Gavalanche do what you love and what your passionate about is what I have learnt from this course so that would be true learning of self actualization wich means mastery which means practice... I don't know about helping others, now its all about just learning all this material seriously, but no idea yet of transformation of this into business. Detachment from outcome needs to be practiced lets see now I will not go to the part of making it real (I've just now got this idea) like right now that I'll just apply one by one all these core concepts to self actulization carring out my normal job and usings leos strategic motherfucker fucker video and many other such vedios..I sence that my life is going to transform radically I have many interesting ideas. Tomorrow morning I've decided to break free from homeostasis and go all in. this thought also just arose now.

<11-10-2016> Emotional Crutches and How Things Have To Get Worse Before They get Better This idea of things getting worse before they get better still hurts my ego a lot. I a struggle with a personal development obstacle that I'm sure a majority of other people with personal development habits also do, which are emotional crutches. For me, I commonly use various forms of entertainment as a means to hide from my problems of fear and anxiety. I really want to put in the effort to remove all carnal cravings and aim straight for my life purpose and enlightenment but the difficulty is just far too strong. I surely hope that awareness really is curative because that's all I've got right now. Be fucking patient, I tell myself everyday. You can see how my daily life has been affected by Leo's content. As I continually work on my consciousness and emotional crutches, I begin to get a sense of what true misery really is and why so many people in the world are not happy. Simply because life transformation takes time and most people are not willing to actively enter long periods of high difficulty to achieve growth. On a positive note, I'm working on another comic strip. It's been a while since I've made one and I've been itching for a while to get back to it. Probably should focus more on them because they are really fun to make. On a negative note, I noticed that I've accidentally been placing 10 instead of 11 on the month section of the dates on my past few journal entries. Not a big deal but kind of lame, really.

Habit-Transformation - Day 16: visualization internet usage - Streak 3 Mindfulness: I had only 6 hours of sleep. I tried to meditate in the morning but quited after half an hour because I was so tired. I almost fell back to sleep. My maths teacher borrowed me an old book of her for first semester maths. I could try to understand the book sometimes in the normal classes because its too easy for me. I just tried to understand the first pages. I did it for about 1 hour and got to the third page... I am doing this to look if I really want to study maths. My tics are coming back again... One of my book orders will arrive tomorrow (Neti Neti Meditation by Andre Doshim Halaw).

Habit-Transformation - Day 15: visualizing internet usage - Streak 2 works out well. I intended to use the internet after waking up but I didn't

Habit-Transformation - Day 14: visualizing internet usage worked out well, just 2 minutes seem like a lot of time Mindfulness: Meditated for 2 hours in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon, including 70 and 48 minutes of sds. Already a long time ago I have recognized that I have this limiting belief that I am unable to meditate much longer than 60 minutes or 90 minutes. There have only been a few instances where I did one session longer than 90 minutes and only one session longer of them has been sds. I think that I don't have the willpower/mindfulness/equanimity to deal with this pain. 60 and 90 minutes are these magical borders where it becomes emotionally more challenging just because of this belief. So what should I do about this? Maybe being mindful about this limiting belief and watching what the ego is doing with this belief. Sitting and watching. Nice Routine: I love Sundays. On Sundays I have the most free time and the new video comes out. Today I had a really nice routine, just with a bit too much internet. I think this would be a good routine for the time after school or in the holidays. waking up at 5am meditating for about 3 hours studying / working working out / moving outside eating meditation inner work Quick calculations: I just had a thought. There are 177 books in Leo's booklist. I am 17, Leo is 31 years old. There is a difference of 14 years. If I want to read all those books until I am as old as Leo now, I would have to read 12.6 books year, so about one book a month. 60 of those 177 books have a 5/5 rating. With this reading speed I would have read the most important books in about 5 years. But some of those books are uninteresting for me, like the categorys life coaching or sex. For me currently interesting are the categories... Emotional Mastery (14) Happiness (6) Life Purpose (7) Dealing with People (7) Consciousness & Enlightenment (34) Metaphysics & Epistemology (3) Paranormal (3) Psychedelics (5) Science & Life (14) Biographies (17) Physiology (1) Philosophy (4) That are 115 books. I could read them all in 9 to 10 years. But Leo has read much more books than those on the list... In 10 years I will already be enlightened

Habits-Transformation - Day 13: visualizing internet usage - Streak 0 slow mindful eating - Streak 0 Why am I lying to myself? I said that I would visualize my internet usage for 2 minutes every time that I intent to use the internet. I never did that, I just thought about it quickly. Therefore it had no real effect except from yesterday. If I continue being so sloppy with transforming my habits, I will have no results / very few like in the last years. I know how to change habits, but I don't apply my knowledge. I know that one should only change one habit at a time -> I will only focus on the internet habit I know that it is effective to use 100% commitment -> "I commit on visualizing the internet usage everytime before I intent to use the internet for 2 minutes. REALLY!" I know that every addiction is the avoidance of emotional labor. The ego is trying to avoid the purifying fire of my existential emptiness -> while visualizing I will get clear about this fact I know how effective positive and negative visualization is -> I will firstly negatively visualize what will happen if I avoid emotional labor. I will have no results. Then I will positively visualize how my life will look like when I have no internet addiction whatsoever I have read "The Power of Habit" and know that there is a guide to change habits -> I will apply this guide in the next post in a few minutes Mindfulness: In the morning I meditated a lot. Firstly 90 minutes of sds and afterwards about 60 minutes of self inquiry and do nothing standing and sitting. Now in the afternoon/evening I did another 58 minutes of sds and 50 minutes of self inquiry and do nothing standing and sitting. That are more than 4 hours, jey! In the self inquiry session I got a little little sense that I am more than this body-mind-identification-thing. For the rest of the day I again was pretty unconscious, but I will not go into details here. Why should I talk about all the negative stuff? But what was positive that I again was working in the garden for 1.5 hours. And I found it enjoyable again and was a little bit more conscious.

@Jonson Affirmations are still good, especially for basic success/achievement related goals. Just don't let them be your only tool. And realize that there are more powerful tools available, especially if your objective is very deep personal transformation. The nice thing about affirmations is that they're so easy and simple. You don't have to spend 100s of hours racking your mind the way you do with something like contemplation.

Habits-Transformation - Day 12: visualizing internet usage - Streak 2 it starts working. I didn't was on the internet after school although I firstly wanted to. Then I just did my homework without distraction. slow mindful eating - Streak 0 ate only lunch slow and mindful Mindfulness: 52 minutes of do nothing in the morning. Unconsciousness in school because I had to write an English exam. I liked writing the exam, I liked the text, I liked my summary, analysis, mediation and comment, a good exam. Did my homework unconsciously, ate relatively mindfully, was doing research unconsciously, was biking sometimes mindfully, worked in the garden sometimes more mindfully, ate unconsciously, was on the internet unconsciously. Somehow I am such a hurry and hectic. Why? I am acting so fast. Why? Slow down! When my mother told me that I should do all the work in the garden I got upset. I had planed to do something different today. The ego had different expectations. But then when I actually did the gardening work it was quite enjoyable. I often just had to laugh. I was thinking about reality. I am the only one in this consciousness. I don't even know whether other people exist or not. Why should I care about them? Absurdity. Just happiness, while my father was in rage.

Habits-Transformation - Day 11: visualizing internet usage - Streak 1 slow mindful eating - Streak 0 After 10 hours of school I completely forgot this Mindfulness: 81 minutes of sds in the morning. In school I was completely unconscious and still am now. I ate nothing until 6pm, so I ate very fast and unconscious. I am still very hectic now. I bought the booklist with the help of my best friend. I am too excited. I have to read sooo much. I also had to learn for the English exam tomorrow. Now I will slow down. Become mindful again.

Habits-Transformation - Day 10: I've changed my mind. Yesterday evening my subconscious came up with the idea that strictly limiting internet time isn't the best way to approach this problem but a neurotic one. Let's rather take the 'Awareness is curative'-approach. It's rather about being mindful what I am actually doing on the internet. So now I want to implement the habit of firstly visualizing what I am going to do on the internet. Thinking about the long term consequences (distraction, lack of focus) and in which way I can use the internet usefully. Let's say I will use a timer and set it on 2 minutes. In these 2 minutes I will do this visualization and afterwards I will be allowed to use the internet. I am happy with this conclusion Mindfulness: After waking up at 5:30 I did 90 minutes of sds! This was a goal of mine for quite a while. Now I think I will increase the time in 5 minutes steps if possible. I remember than about one year ago I did a 2h sds session. Today after the sds I did self-inquiry for about another 40 minutes. It is hard to really question my existence when all the time the monkey mind is present. In school I was very unconscious. In the lunch break I did another sds session for about 50 minutes and without real focus. All of the food of today I ate relatively fast and unconscious. And therefore I ate very much. I think I will implement a slow and mindful eating habit as well. I hope this will not the too much.

Drugs are as old as humanity itself, and they certainly fulfill something of immense value. The drugs are capable to give you a hallucinatory experience beyond the mundane world. Meditation brings you to the real experience. To meditate is difficult. The drug is cheap. But the attraction for drugs is spiritual. And now we have more advanced drugs, synthetically made, and we are capable to purify them more. We can make drugs which have no bad effects at all. We can make drugs which are not addictive. And we can teach people how to move from drug to meditation. Just to talk about meditation remains simply verbal. There is no way through the words to give you any experience. But drugs are immensely useful. The words can explain to you what meditation is, the drug can give you an hallucinatory experience of it. And then you can be initiated into a method. And now you will not be moving in darkness. Now you know that something… if an ordinary drug can do so much, then there must be some way to find an authentic transformation, to experience it without any dependence on anything. Under proper guidance drugs can be of immense help. I am against drugs because if they become addictive then they will be the most destructive for your journey towards the self.

Habits-Transformation - Day 9: little internet time - Streak 0 well this seems harder than I thought. When I have no school there are so many times when i am attempted to use the internet. Tomorrow is school again, so it will be easier. Maybe I will make myself question what I want to do on the internet and why before using it and visualize the long term consequences. Mindfulness: After waking up I did sds for one hour. Later in the morning I went for a one hour bike ride. At one place I became conscious very frequently but just for a very short time (roughly 10-30 seconds). This happened very often because I observed the trees and nature around me. A few times I was conscious for about one or two minutes. After the bike ride I did another sds but only for 31 minutes. I spontaneously stopped and started preparing lunch very consciously. While preparing and eating the lunch I tried to to self inquiry. I recognized that very slow action is necessary for this. Otherwise I get lost in the action very easily. In the afternoon I had a lot of free time. So I let my intuition guide me. The intuition wanted to crack walnuts very consciously. I enjoyed that. Then the intuition wanted to puzzle. In the past I really enjoyed that too. But the ego interrupted. The ego rather wanted to learn history or stretch because that would be more productive. But I had the 'magnetic pull' towards puzzling. The ego just wanted to study or stretch because of my identification of being a good student and healthy. So I puzzled. Meanwhile I wanted to stay mindful and listened to Shinzen Young (Organizing Your Practice). Later I went to the graveyard with the family. I thought about the absurdity of the anthropological Christian picture of god and how much suffering the people create for themselves. - Mindfulness is key