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Why are you in bliss now?

I was wondering whether anyone else had experienced Kundalini as a Goddess. During the initial stages of my awakening, during 2011-2012, I experienced Kundalini as a serpentine energy, as descibed by most people and classical works on the subject. During the latter stages, the sensation became physical and whenever Kundalini was active inside me, I experienced a black serpent wriggling around in my body, along the spine, gradually rising ever further upwards and bumping its head against energetic blocks in my body in a rhythmic fashion. When the serpent got stuck, just above the heart chakra and couldn’t push its head through the knot found there, I experienced intense chronic chest pain, heart palpitations, neurological symptoms, such as memory loss and slowness of movement. I then prayed for divine intervention and the Goddess appeared to me in person, performed shaktipat on me, then united with me energetically and allowed me to experience enlightenment, a breakthrough at the final knot at the top back part of the head (I believe this is called Brahmarendra, the cavity of God), which broke with an audible cracking noise. Then, liquid light came roaring in, I expanded in all directions in an ecstatic bliss and became boundless and all-knowing, at least for a short while. In that state, I felt universal and understood everything about reality, universe, life, or whatever else you can think of. When i eventually returned to my body, I only retained a tiny portion of the knowledge I had access to in the universal state. I also felt constrained and suffocated by my own body, but I gradually returned to normal consciousness. The Goddess aspect of Kundalini is rarely emphasised, or if so, usually only in abstract terms, but I wonder how many people have been visited by her as a living Goddess and how common this is? I found a reference in the book of essays, Kundalini Rising, by Lawrence Edwards, whose experience closely mirrors my own. I’m not sure how much I can quote from his work, before triggering the copyright bots, so I’ll try to quote only the most succinct sections, that are most relevant to this point. Chapter: Kundalini Her Symbols of Transformation and Freedom LAWRENCE EDWARDS, PHD THE GIFTS OF MAHA KALI “ Once a renowned author who had written about Kundalini came to meet my guru, Swami Muktananda. Baba, as my guru was known, was revered for his exalted visions of the Kun- dalini and his rare ability to give shaktipat. The author, too, had visions of Kundalini, but to him she appeared quite unimpressive, looking like an ordinary woman, not like a God- dess at all. As he waited outside the room where Baba was receiving visitors, he was astonished to have a vision of the Goddess Kundalini herself entering the room where Baba was—only this time she appeared in her most regal and resplendent form, magnif- icent and awe inspiring … Baba, he asked why it was that she appeared so ordinary to him, while for Baba she came as the Goddess of the Universe. Baba replied simply, “Because I worship her.” … The intense practices I began doing culminated in a series of meditation experiences in Baba’s ashram meditation hall during a weekend retreat in 1982. Various forms of the Goddess began appearing fully and spontaneously in meditation, as real as any person standing in front of me. I worshipped each in turn, trembling and awestruck as I did and only able to do so because of the strength the Shakti gave me in the moment to withstand Her Divine presence. Goddess after Goddess appeared until finally Maha Kali was present there before me. I prayed with all my heart to be able to stay conscious. Her skin was blacker than black, like deep black velvet in a darkened room. Yet in some miraculous way Her form was radiant, revealing Her own richly magnificent blackness. A thought ap- peared in my mind: “My God, this is Kali! She’s the Great Mother, Goddess of the Uni- verse, creator and destroyer of all that is!” But She was in the most exquisite, beautiful, loving form, not the fearsome presence She is usually depicted as having. This was Her hidden form. I did the only thing I knew to do: I did puja to Her, an ancient Indian form of worship, while shaking with a mixture of fear, awe, and overwhelming love. Tears flowed down my cheeks. Then the Goddess came forward and embraced me, wrapping Herself around me. Everything slowed down. I could feel myself gradually merging into Her, and I could hear Her laughing the wildest, most ecstatic laugh! We disappeared from the ordinary world. My awareness shifted, and I could see the whole solar system with all its planets, and then stars and galaxies being withdrawn into Her. The entire universe was merging into Her, and all the while it was merging, the infinitude of the cosmos rever- berated with Her ecstatic laughter. Finally, I disappeared into Her as I dissolved into infi- nite Light and Love, and then into a nothingness beyond even that, beyond the mind, be- yond any duality of experience. There simply was no “me” left; I was gone, gone, gone be- yond. … The experience ended; feeling profoundly grateful, I bowed to my inner guru, my Goddess Kundalini. This had all unfolded as a re- sult of shaktipat from my Siddha master, Muktananda Baba, years earlier, and my prayer to know the highest form of worship of Kundalini. Complete worship merges you with the one you worship. Through worship and prayer, the Goddess reveals the mysteries of Her creation to Her creature: the seeker—you! … No words can describe how overwhelmed and truly awestruck I was by the appearance of the Goddesses classically depicted in the chakras, followed by Maha Kali Herself. These were the Goddesses that Kundalini manifests, as well as Her primal form as Maha Shakti, the great power, that takes the form of Maha Kali, the Black Goddess. It is this highest power that dissolves the universe as She merges into the sahasrara, creating it once again as She descends from that transcendent realm. … Just as the aspects of Divine Consciousness were being presented to my awareness sym- bolically in the forms of the Goddesses, in the same way the union with those Divine forms was symbolized by sexual union. Readers familiar with the experiences of mystics of many spiritual traditions will recognize that this is a common way for union with the Di- vine to express itself. Very often the Tantric traditions, both yogic and Buddhist, that deal with the Divine Feminine depict union in this way. Carnal symbolism and the experience of that form of symbolic merger in meditation are often confusing for people, especially Westerners, who take it literally. From: Kundalini Rising: Exploring the Energy of Awakening. Sounds True Inc. Short Excerpts from pages 294-298 “ So, this is really interesting to me, as it is so close to my own experience of Union with the Goddess and her many visits to me. Maybe it is a bit esoteric (on in other words, Tantric), but I would really like to hear from others who may have experienced this.

I ended in a crisis unit when I realized my true nature. It wasn't easy for me at all. I had a complete and utter meltdown. But now I am in bliss.

Thanks to you guys,I managed to go through the nauseous cloudy feeling in my Body! Awakening? Okay, so I mentioned that sometimes when I am close to awakening this rotten feeling of discomfort comes through my Body, and I always used to stop when it occured and then felt bad about it. Today I went through with it. I just let it expand and noticed the fear and feeling of unease expecting an awakening or some kind of mystical experience, my heart started pounding and then: nothing happened. I expected some fireworks at the end of going through that thing I struggled with for months, but nothing at all, my heart calmed down and I just continued meditating. Then after my meditation app stopped I sat there for a while, eyes closed, and I don't entirely remember what happened (even though it was 10 minutes ago). But the darkness in front of my eyes became white and I was kind of absorbed into that "loud silence" After a few minutes I opened my eyes and was really confused looking around the room, I got a little bit nervous and then my normal sense of self returned. No bliss, no dream-awakening, no pleasure, no pain, no nothingness. What is that "experience" I went through? I did self-inquiry followed by 20 minutes breath-concentration practice. How am I supposed to classify it, if I cannot remember it correctly? Is that cessation? A jhana? A seizure (I hope not lol)?

Main objection/frustration: If Enlightment depends on your brain state of consciousness, what is the point on meditating or doing mindful practices through the day? 1). I have come to the conclusion I can't raise my baseline state meditating through the whole fucking day (been doing Isha Kriya meditation this last days FOR HOURS through the day trying to completely eliminate the ego in my life = trying to achieve a light state of non duality sober). Can't do it. I always fall back. I achieve some seconds of bliss/heaven for some seconds and then the rest is kind of yes/no ego. I am not really deep suffering but there is still ego. I am not really joyful. But I keep doing it because I believe it will come a point where the ego will let go completely. But maybe I should just stop Lol. Why? Because the 2). Point below 2.) The thing is when I am doing this mindfulness I am not in this neurotic state of achieving stuff of spiral dynamics stage orange. Which is precisely which makes me suffer and Actually is counterproductive to achieve it (being neurotic). BUT, you guys say that one should first achieve this stuff (self growth of the minor s, sex, money, success of the ego) and then go for Enlightment. So the ego gets neurotic to get it done. But then I see the ego is ruining my life and I start meditating. But meditating makes me not being so serious about achieving it!! And then I'm at this stage of not achieving shit but neither being Enlightened! Wtf! Lol Then what do I do??? See if I choose one thing I'm damned and if I choose the other I'm damned too. 3). Yesterday night I was feeling sick and couldn't sleep and I took a drug that I know is good when you feel sick and makes you fall asleep. I had no tolerance for this drug because I quit a time ago, but I still wasn't expecting the strong effects it gave me. It triggered me a realization of the Self (it's not a psychedelic at all but when you have had awakenings and meditate, a lot of drugs can put you into spiritual states that for normies wouldn't). I was Consciousness and I was aware of the "I" thoughts. It's great that I got into this state but it's also very sad that still brain chemistry dictates everything. Why the fuck I can't get here by meditating? The drugs are just some neurochemistry imaginary keys.

I also think that gathering tools that help limit the amount of choices you have in creation are useful. I like the book the addiction formula for that. Sometimes we also need to take an inner look at ourselves. A great book for doing a deeper reflection of our selves as artists is The Artists Way. I go through ups and downs of writers block. I have found that there is not really writers block though. What you need to do is just create everyday without too much focus on the outcome. Get it to the point where the 15 minutes is simply enjoyable and you are flowing in the creativity and joy of the music. From there you naturally want to get better and improve. Follow your bliss and build structure around the bliss to flesh it out!

Then what makes you anything but a reincarnation of Shiva? Your belief surrounding it. I had to accept that I was an incarnation of this being and then surrender my entire Being to the guidance of this being while encompassed in crown chakra bliss (I prefer Holy Spirit as a term for this, but it’s not very active here) to experience my deepest awakening. I gave the most intense form of Bhakti in that moment.

Does your life suck? Or can you recognize the divine bliss of heaven by sitting down and breathing? If you knew such bliss, even hardships, illnesses, and struggles will be contextualized and recognized as primordially perfect. Speaking from someone who has a very difficult to manage illness that’s being exploited as a cash cow by the US pharmaceutical industry. Heaven is still available. As the suffering increases, the harder such a view becomes, obviously. Stop focusing on the immensity of the suffering imo. You can’t change that. But you can change your own. This is, counterintuitively, the work needed to help alleviate the suffering of the world.

This is ridiculous. Nobody here in this forum has the balls to perform mahasamadhi, so you are safe. If they would they would have 'gone' already. Also, imo mahasamadhi is just getting to samadhi in such a potent and constant way that you abide in such a bliss and infinite love consciousness that you obviously forget about taking care of the body and it's needs, so you just die there after X days or weeks of not eating and not drinking water. Simple.

@Terell Kirby Why would you want to escape? It's bliss ?

After a week of intense meditation, I’ve finally grasps what it truly means to be immortal. Through direct consciousness, I realized that the “I” deemed as Self is not located anywhere in my present experience. Therefore, whatever happens to the body that appears in my consciousness is a happening that applies to the body, and not the “I” that is my True Self. That includes death and injury. This not only applies to physical phenomenon but also mental and emotional...the thoughts and feelings are just appearances in consciousness and not personal to the “I” that is True Self. Everything is simply being witnessed by a Being that can’t be pointed to...that being is us! Not being located in time and space truly feels like bliss/heaven! This is a fresh insight that I will have to deepen..but had to get the excitement out in some kind of way. We cannot lose our existence...because existence is infinite. We are existence...we are immortal.

i'm writing this partly because i'm bored, but also to jot down my motivation for self realization. * once i attain liberation from fears and suffering, i'll go to my nearest starbucks and start chatting up girls and making friends with them. *i'll go outside and meditate in public in very crowded areas (usually i'm extremely embarressed to do that). then others who also meditate will join me as well and i'll make some good friends that way. *i'll start dancing with pure bliss and fearlessness in public and make good friends that way. *i'll sing in public (not in a annoying way though lol). *i'll be extremely confident and be completely free in my social relationships. *i'll be an extrovert

Yeah this is how I feel now. It’s like I blew myself out with such a strong No-Self on that live awakening a couple weeks ago or w/e. Since then, my ego and “Self” are in so much harmony because I know the unreality of any substance or truth beyond the appearances. People act like they understand this shit all the time, but without some quite deep awakenings along a lot of different lines and angles and states of viewing all this, it’s not likely you really can appreciate the Truth in the wisdom you’re still mostly parroting out of a thin layer of remaining faith and also skepticism of the most radical teachings. You can bust the ground out from under yourSelf though too. That’s what full, waking state and vibrant cessation is. I’d wager to say my NS cessations were probably more impactful than most because it was like God Consciousness & beyond awakening for 30 mins - 1 hr > NS cessation > God Consciousness awakening for two minutes > NS cessation > God Consciousness tapers down rather quickly and is replaced by the most serene peace imaginable. If all deities and such powerful beings existed in a single physical marketplace, I’d become the richest of them all if I could manage to bottle up the post NS & God-Realization multiple existential orgasms into a consumable product. It’s like smoking a cigarette after sex, but you didn’t have a single flimsy human physical orgasm. You became both the Dao and God and had sex with these different realities and immutable energies and had that kind of an Orgasm. Then you had that kind of satisfied equanimity and bliss to a corresponding degree. All of Existence and Nonexistence rest in the true primary and eternal reality which can be spoken of and perceived that is your awareness. It’s all You baby.

@Aaron p Bliss 1997 about sexual energy https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118742/

"bliss"

@actualizing25 it's ok to pursue peace. Even understanding God and reality can help with that. You may find there is more to life than not suffering. When you do have moments of bliss, think to yourself: "ok, what's next?"

It sounds like you’re kinda shitting on your own parade man. The relativity of meaning is only a downside if you’re being shortsighted. There are ultimately no limits that have to contain you. You can develop in many different directions. There are levels of meaning you can create for yourself which would make you explode with joy and bliss. It’s a really underexposed idea in spirituality. Everyone is focused on deconstruction and getting rid of attachments and such that they miss the bigger picture. This is your creative roadshow. Stop trying to escape it. You can create the most amazing experience for yourself and in some cases others thanks only to accurate Self knowledge. P.S. - You’re not necessarily wrong with anything you say. From an absolute level, things do not have prescribed meaning. The issue is this realization gives you the freedom to create a very positive or negative outlook. What’s the advantage in choosing a negative perspective for yourself when both are equally valid?

All polar opposites balance each-other out perfectly. Bliss and suffering. Heaven and Hell. God and The Devil. All of those are perceived dualities. Only Oneness is Absolute. In that sense; I'd say you're wrong. But I get what you mean. The bad screams in your face. While the good might be difficult to notice sometimes. But it's always there.

Acting like you know the specific content of what comes after death is an epistemic error in likely all cases. The fact is that this is an imagined moment which we project our various conceptual maps onto. Nothing is likely to get it 100% right, and maybe it’s different for everyone. I tend to think that Existence is far more individualized. The lesson is for you, generated by you in real time. So yes, I agree that DMT bliss states are a horrible measure to use for explaining all of Reality or future events. Why is there a bias toward one chemical group or one virtue? It’s all valid. The future will likely be something you can neither predict or accept using your current paradigm. This is a pattern I’ve noticed in my own life and pretty much everyone else’s life.

Good day, genuine truth seekers, who thirst for knowledge, like a man stranded on desert thirsts for water. Epistemology, ie. one`s theory of knowledge and is always worth to be in check of, its ones best tool to differentiate truth from delusions. Some people have the conviction that Direct Experience = Truth, some say it is the Mind, others say its all the same, i.e. Mind = Direct experience. However, I see that almost all people have bias, even if they try very hard to be objective, disregarding the obivious fact that, solely due to the fact that they are reasoning from a human POV, full objectivity is not possible, at least until one un-learns to think like a human, with what human finds attractive etc. For example, someone does DMT and has a beautiful experience, then, same person does Salvia and has scary experience. Then, afterwards, the person shares the message that afterlife is more like a DMT bliss, but, what if afterlife is like Salvia? BUT? What if none of this models are necessary because whatever one I call "reality" is just my own imagination, i other words, I am not bound by "reality". Because : Think about it, one experiences both a DMT Bliss and Salvia Scariness, which shows the person that Consciousness can be many things. But due to bias, the person believes that after death he will go to DMT bliss, sounds bias isnt it? Then how does one confirm to oneself, what afterlife is more like? And who gets to decide for the person? If the person decides - why cant the same person dictate over their current earth-reality? What/Who stops them from this?

please read the whole trip report. i dont understand why just 100ug LSD took me soo far and just this is my 1st Actual trip. so two days ago i had done 100ug and the trip lasted 14 hours. I have reached God level and realised I am the creator and I created this so called universe for me to realise and come to back to Me. i divide the this trip into 3 parts 1. My intentions for the trip 2. The trip 3. Post Trip 1. I was building up the dose so previously had done 25ug and now built to 100ug and then then take 200ug based on this trip experience. As i read the reports i came to know that 100ug is a mild dose and is bets for contemplation and cannot experience ego death and any mystical exp. and my intentions for the trip to contemplate on my life purpose and how to avoid distraction and why im getting distracted. and also regarding my spiritual path and awakening. And I decided to surrender whatever happens in this trip. very simple 2. As the trip began I was in a normal state and couldn't contemplate just waiting for the peak. At this point the visuals becoming intense and then I just layed and started to feel heavy in my limbs and felt like I dont have any of them. I just surrendered and then i started to feel the interconnectedness with everything. I got up and i feel i lost complete identity of my self. I am speaking to myself as a 3rd person. at this point there were so many questions i am asking and the the state i am there is giving answer to everything. wherever i see there are infinite fractals open and close eye. Now i ahd reached a place which is absolute infinity and i got merged into it. i felt like everything is me and this the pure infitie consciousness which leo speaks. I GOT ENLIGHTENED. I realised i am everthing, i touched my mother brothers and crying saying that this is the ultimate place everyone should reach, all this reality is created for us to awaken and reached your true place. the place was infite having infinite colours, infinite shapes, i felt everyhting is possible here and this created my world. I realised that I am in a game and i used a cheatcode (LSD) just to ask about my purpose and and this code took me out of the game and said GAME OVER and made me realise that this is a game and your true place is absolute infinity. this gave a huge responsibility that this illusion is totally for my self and i can do anything to grow my self here and nothing can stop me. I was trying to remember all of this cos I knew i would forget all of this makes no sense. I became God I had so many Qs and all the answers. suffering is just an illusion when you know everything is pure love and all is one. I had asked the question about rape and got this beautiful insight that, I the victim, i am the accused, i am the one who murdered, and i am the one mourning, and i am the one reporting. this made so much sense that there's no point in suffering when all this is an illusion and god doesn't want you to suffer. At this point I have no emotions and couldnt distinguish between anger, sadness, hatred etc. I realised i am no longer this physical body and no longer Vignan hence theres no place for emotions. Then I reached to a place which I called the infinite mind. Frankly speaking here I see no love or anything. Its an infite sphere enclosed in an infite wave like thing. There is no such thing as time, intelligence, its just being. I saw it and understood this is god and here theres no bliss as such how people mention. It is a place of no human intelect. From this arose infite Love when i realised the struggle humanity which is me strugglein to get enlighten but running away from it at the same time. I realised my trure purpose is to bring everyone into the infinite conscious which I felt the highest purpose of an enlighten being. 3. Now after the trip I am in a state of crisis. i read the book TOE and bagavad gita and realised that I have reached the true, pure absolute infinity. But as i am back to my ego self i longer can understand what happened to me and i am in a state of confusion what happened to me is real or not. Leos recent God video makes absolute sense and now I don know how do I carry it with me in sobriety. How do I keep the learning? Now I have no thoughts whatsoever my mind is so calm that im unable to do anything. i became like a dead person yet many things running inside me. I realised my life purpose and dont no now how do i proceed. I need give my love and good to this humaninity. I want to make everyone happy and help them reach their true self. Leo I need you to help me regarding the post trip integration I couldnt even comprehend the magnite of states that I reached. I understood the base level consciousness cannot comprehend what is at higher lever and higher level of conscious cannot do the base level task. How do I find the balance cos most of the time I will be living in this dream state only. How do I maintain that level of consciousness while im not tripping?

Thanks Shin- Yes. This I get. Many years ago based on research and experimentation, I reached the conclusion that matter and energy are illusory. They are only ideas around which the experience of physical reality is formed. I think of it as the scaffolding on which our experiences can occur. It gives us a stage on which we can play our our individual dramas. Here's the question I am trying to get at: If those who physically die, immediately reach a state of non-dual existence, then what are they doing having a dualistic experience? There seems to be an objective experience happening following death since there are cases where it can objectively be shown to have occurred. It seems as though many or most experiencers seem to simply move to a non-physical state of non-dual existence where a life-like story continues. Feels to me like this dual to non-dual transition is not a binary thing that happens spontaneously at death, but rather a thing that we need to work on, perhaps over many iterations of birth-death. ? Also the question still remains for me: if/when we reach this state of non-dual existence, especially considering its unsurpassable bliss, why would we even consider acting in a non-dual way again? Why would we be put that garment back on? Of course the "we" is no longer in existence, but it seems like some intention toward more dualism cycles is still in play. Would this cycle between convergence and divergence just represent the "design of the system" and not intention? And finally: where is the history of all that has occurred stored? We can't deny that experiences have occurred, right? Physicality aside: things have happened. Love has been exchanged, emotions have been felt. There are many examples where one incarnate can recall the experiences of another. This implies that this information doesn't vanish when someone has becomes "realized".

I was taken into the light of Source itself. It started within like 15 seconds of the meditation beginning. It was quite unexpected. Meditation had been quite weak for me. But I fully committed myself to learning more from a spiritual guide yesterday, and today I had a breakthrough. It was such a healing space to be in. Truly remarkable.

Culadasa the author of The mind illuminated is dying of cancer. It's interesting to hear the experience of a master meditator (first part of the video) It's interesting that he says that he can't repress the feeling of panic when he can't breath, and being master meditator doesn't help in that regard. I remember dying of suffocation, if one stays aware during the breath arrest comes a point where the panic turns into bliss when you realize that the suffering of suffocation was self created and you're now effectively free of the breath you go into the deepest meditative state without psychedelics.

Also, don't forget to take good care of yourself and start treating yourself. Show yourself plenty of love & start celebrating life. Prepare yourself some tea, make some healthy cream soup, avocado toast, smoothie, fruit salad, something you like which makes you feel nourished & cozy. Enjoy it slowly while you listen to some good music and savour it slowly. Create a sacred space at home. It can be a whole room or just a corner, a peaceful area in the garden or even your balcony. Decorate it with lots of beautiful plants, natural minerals, crystals, floral arrangements, huge cushions, get a comfortable sofa, a cozy lounge chair etc Get yourself some hi-fi audio system and play some good music when you wake up in the morning. I suggest making an account on Spotify and creating themed playlists. For example, you can create one called 'Morning playlist' and take some time in the morning just to chill out, enjoy & savour life. Keep in mind that what you do in the morning can set the tone for the entire day. Do some active meditation, dance, sing, do some karaoke, do some yoga, breathwork, journaling, audio-journaling, paint some visionary art etc Enjoy yourself Do what gives you a feeling of expansiveness & joy. God's love can express itself in many ways. Just follow your bliss. In a holistic way. Take care, Best wishes ❤