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@Nature Transcript I am reminded of the fateful day of twenty-first March, 1953. For many lives I had been working—working upon myself, struggling, doing whatsoever can be done—and nothing was happening. Now I understand why nothing was happening. The very effort was the barrier, the very ladder was preventing, the very urge to seek was the obstacle. Not that one can reach without seeking. Seeking is needed, but then comes a point when seeking has to be dropped. The boat is needed to cross the river but then comes a moment when you have to get out of the boat and forget all about it and leave it behind. Effort is needed, without effort nothing is possible. And also only with effort, nothing is possible. Just before twenty-first March, 1953, seven days before, I stopped working on myself. A moment comes when you see the whole futility of effort. You have done all that you can do and nothing is happening. You have done all that is humanly possible. Then what else can you do? In sheer helplessness one drops all search. And the day the search stopped, the day I was not seeking for something, the day I was not expecting something to happen, it started happening. A new energy arose—out of nowhere. It was not coming from any source. It was coming from nowhere and everywhere. It was in the trees and in the rocks and the sky and the sun and the air—it was everywhere. And I was seeking so hard, and I was thinking it is very far away. And it was so near and so close. Just because I was seeking I had become incapable of seeing the near. Seeking is always for the far, seeking is always for the distant—and it was not distant. I had become far-sighted, I had lost the near-sightedness. The eyes had become focussed on the far away, the horizon, and they had lost the quality to see that which is just close, surrounding you. The day effort ceased, I also ceased. Because you cannot exist without effort, and you cannot exist without desire, and you cannot exist without striving. The phenomenon of the ego, of the self, is not a thing, it is a process. It is not a substance sitting there inside you; you have to create it each moment. It is like pedalling bicycle. If you pedal it goes on and on, if you don't pedal it stops. It may go a little because of the past momentum, but the moment you stop pedalling, in fact the bicycle starts stopping. It has no more energy, no more power to go anywhere. It is going to fall and collapse. The ego exists because we go on pedalling desire, because we go on striving to get something, because we go on jumping ahead of ourselves. That is the very phenomenon of the ego—the jump ahead of yourself, the jump in the future, the jump in the tomorrow. The jump in the non-existential creates the ego. Because it comes out of the non-existential it is like a mirage. It consists only of desire and nothing else. It consists only of thirst and nothing else. The ego is not in the present, it is in the future. If you are in the future, then ego seems to be very substantial. If you are in the present the ego is a mirage, it starts disappearing. The day I stopped seeking…and it is not right to say that I stopped seeking, better will be to say the day seeking stopped. Let me repeat it: the better way to say it is the day the seeking stopped. Because if I stop it then I am there again. Now stopping becomes my effort, now stopping becomes my desire, and desire goes on existing in a very subtle way. You cannot stop desire; you can only understand it. In the very understanding is the stopping of it. Remember, nobody can stop desiring, and the reality happens only when desire stops. So this is the dilemma. What to do? Desire is there and Buddhas go on saying desire has to be stopped, and they go on saying in the next breath that you cannot stop desire. So what to do? You put people in a dilemma. They are in desire, certainly. You say it has to be stopped—okay. And then you say it cannot be stopped. Then what is to be done? The desire has to be understood. You can understand it, you can just see the futility of it. A direct perception is needed, an immediate penetration is needed. Look into desire, just see what it is, and you will see the falsity of it, and you will see it is non-existential. And desire drops and something drops simultaneously within you. Desire and the ego exist in cooperation, they coordinate. The ego cannot exist without desire, the desire cannot exist without the ego. Desire is projected ego, ego is introjected desire. They are together, two aspects of one phenomenon. The day desiring stopped, I felt very hopeless and helpless. No hope because no future. Nothing to hope because all hoping has proved futile, it leads nowhere. You go in rounds. It goes on dangling in front of you, it goes on creating new mirages, it goes on calling you, 'Come on, run fast, you will reach.' But howsoever fast you run you never reach. That's why Buddha calls it a mirage. It is like the horizon that you see around the earth. It appears but it is not there. If you go it goes on running from you. The faster you run, the faster it moves away. The slower you go, the slower it moves away. But one thing is certain—the distance between you and the horizon remains absolutely the same. Not even a single inch can you reduce the distance between you and the horizon. You cannot reduce the distance between you and your hope. Hope is horizon. You try to bridge yourself with the horizon, with the hope, with a projected desire. The desire is a bridge, a dream bridge—because the horizon exists not, so you cannot make a bridge towards it, you can only dream about the bridge. You cannot be joined with the non-existential. The day the desire stopped, the day I looked and realized into it, it simply was futile. I was helpless and hopeless. But that very moment something started happening. The same started happening for which for many lives I was working and it was not happening. In your hopelessness is the only hope, and in your desirelessness is your only fulfillment, and in your tremendous helplessness suddenly the whole existence starts helping you. It is waiting. When it sees that you are working on your own, it does not interfere. It waits. It can wait infinitely because there is no hurry for it. It is eternity. The moment you are not on your own, the moment you drop, the moment you disappear, the whole existence rushes towards you, enters you. And for the first time things start happening. Seven days I lived in a very hopeless and helpless state, but at the same time something was arising. When I say hopeless I don't mean what you mean by the word hopeless. I simply mean there was no hope in me. Hope was absent. I am not saying that I was hopeless and sad. I was happy in fact, I was very tranquil, calm and collected and centered. Hopeless, but in a totally new meaning. There was no hope, so how could there be hopelessness. Both had disappeared. The hopelessness was absolute and total. Hope had disappeared and with it its counterpart, hopelessness, had also disappeared. It was a totally new experience—of being without hope. It was not a negative state. I have to use words—but it was not a negative state. It was absolutely positive. It was not just absence, a presence was felt. Something was overflowing in me, overflooding me. And when I say I was helpless, I don't mean the word in the dictionary-sense. I simply say I was selfless. That's what I mean when I say helpless. I have recognized the fact that I am not, so I cannot depend on myself, so I cannot stand on my own ground—there was no ground underneath. I was in an abyss…bottomless abyss. But there was no fear because there was nothing to protect. There was no fear because there was nobody to be afraid. Those seven days were of tremendous transformation, total transformation. And the last day the presence of a totally new energy, a new light and new delight, became so intense that it was almost unbearable—as if I was exploding, as if I was going mad with blissfulness. The new generation in the West has the right word for it—I was blissed out, stoned. It was impossible to make any sense out of it, what was happening. It was a very non-sense world—difficult to figure it out, difficult to manage in categories, difficult to use words, languages, explanations. All scriptures appeared dead and all the words that have been used for this experience looked very pale, anaemic. This was so alive. It was like a tidal wave of bliss. The whole day was strange, stunning, and it was a shattering experience. The past was disappearing, as if it had never belonged to me, as if I had read about it somewhere, as if I had dreamed about it, as if it was somebody else's story I have heard and somebody told it to me. I was becoming loose from my past, I was being uprooted from my history, I was losing my autobiography. I was becoming a non-being, what Buddha calls anatta. Boundaries were disappearing, distinctions were disappearing. Mind was disappearing; it was millions of miles away. It was difficult to catch hold of it, it was rushing farther and farther away, and there was no urge to keep it close. I was simply indifferent about it all. It was okay. There was no urge to remain continuous with the past. By the evening it became so difficult to bear it—it was hurting, it was painful. It was like when a woman goes into labour when a child is to be born, and the woman suffers tremendous pain—the birth pangs. I used to go to sleep in those days near about twelve or one in the night, but that day it was impossible to remain awake. My eyes were closing, it was difficult to keep them open. Something was very imminent, something was going to happen. It was difficult to say what it was—maybe it is going to be my death—but there was no fear. I was ready for it. Those seven days had been so beautiful that I was ready to die, nothing more was needed. They had been so tremendously blissful, I was so contented, that if death was coming, it was welcome. But something was going to happen—something like death, something very drastic, something which will be either a death or a new birth, a crucifixion or a resurrection—but something of tremendous import was around just by the corner. And it was impossible to keep my eyes open. I was drugged. I went to sleep near about eight. It was not like sleep. Now I can understand what Patanjali means when he says that sleep and samadhi are similar. Only with one difference—that in samadhi you are fully awake and asleep also. Asleep and awake together, the whole body relaxed, every cell of the body totally relaxed, all functioning relaxed, and yet a light of awareness burns within you…clear, smokeless. You remain alert and yet relaxed, loose but fully awake. The body is in the deepest sleep possible and your consciousness is at its peak. The peak of consciousness and the valley of the body meet. I went to sleep. It was a very strange sleep. The body was asleep, I was awake. It was so strange—as if one was torn apart into two directions, two dimensions; as if the polarity has become completely focused, as if I was both the polarities together…the positive and negative were meeting, sleep and awareness were meeting, death and life were meeting. That is the moment when you can say 'the creator and the creation meet.' It was weird. For the first time it shocks you to the very roots, it shakes your foundations. You can never be the same after that experience; it brings a new vision to your life, a new quality. Near about twelve my eyes suddenly opened—I had not opened them. The sleep was broken by something else. I felt a great presence around me in the room. It was a very small room. I felt a throbbing life all around me, a great vibration—almost like a hurricane, a great storm of light, joy, ecstasy. I was drowning in it. It was so tremendously real that everything became unreal. The walls of the room became unreal, the house became unreal, my own body became unreal. Everything was unreal because now there was for the first time reality. That's why when Buddha and Shankara say the world is maya, a mirage, it is difficult for us to understand. Because we know only this world, we don't have any comparison. This is the only reality we know. What are these people talking about—this is maya, illusion? This is the only reality. Unless you come to know the really real, their words cannot be understood, their words remain theoretical. They look like hypotheses. Maybe this man is propounding a philosophy—'The world is unreal'. When Berkley in the West said that the world is unreal, he was walking with one of his friends, a very logical man; the friend was almost a skeptic. He took a stone from the road and hit Berkley's feet hard. Berkley screamed, blood rushed out, and the skeptic said, 'Now, the world is unreal? You say the world is unreal?—then why did you scream? This stone is unreal?—then why did you scream? Then why are you holding your leg and why are you showing so much pain and anguish on your face. Stop this? It is all unreal. Now this type of man cannot understand what Buddha means when he says the world is a mirage. He does not mean that you can pass through the wall. He is not saying this—that you can eat stones and it will make no difference whether you eat bread or stones. He is not saying that. He is saying that there is a reality. Once you come to know it, this so-called reality simply pales out, simply becomes unreal. With a higher reality in vision the comparison arises, not otherwise. In the dream; the dream is real. You dream every night. Dream is one of the greatest activities that you go on doing. If you live sixty years, twenty years you will sleep and almost ten years you will dream. Ten years in a life—nothing else do you do so much. Ten years of continuous dreaming—just think about it. And every night…. And every morning you say it was unreal, and again in the night when you dream, dream becomes real. In a dream it is so difficult to remember that this is a dream. But in the morning it is so easy. What happens? You are the same person. In the dream there is only one reality. How to compare? How to say it is unreal? Compared to what? It is the only reality. Everything is as unreal as everything else so there is no comparison. In the morning when you open your eyes another reality is there. Now you can say it was all unreal. Compared to this reality, dream becomes unreal. There is an awakening—compared to that reality of that awakening, this whole reality becomes unreal. That night for the first time I understood the meaning of the word maya. Not that I had not known the word before, not that I was not aware of the meaning of the word. As you are aware, I was also aware of the meaning—but I had never understood it before. How can you understand without experience? That night another reality opened its door, another dimension became available. Suddenly it was there, the other reality, the separate reality, the really real, or whatsoever you want to call it—call it god, call it truth, call it dhamma, call it tao, or whatsoever you will. It was nameless. But it was there—so opaque, so transparent, and yet so solid one could have touched it. It was almost suffocating me in that room. It was too much and I was not yet capable of absorbing it. A deep urge arose in me to rush out of the room, to go under the sky—it was suffocating me. It was too much! It will kill me! If I had remained a few moments more, it would have suffocated me—it looked like that. I rushed out of the room, came out in the street. A great urge was there just to be under the sky with the stars, with the trees, with the earth…to be with nature. And immediately as I came out, the feeling of being suffocated disappeared. It was too small a place for such a big phenomenon. Even the sky is a small place for that big phenomenon. It is bigger than the sky. Even the sky is not the limit for it. But then I felt more at ease. I walked towards the nearest garden. It was a totally new walk, as if gravitation had disappeared. I was walking, or I was running, or I was simply flying; it was difficult to decide. There was no gravitation, I was feeling weightless—as if some energy was taking me. I was in the hands of some other energy. For the first time I was not alone, for the first time I was no more an individual, for the first time the drop has come and fallen into the ocean. Now the whole ocean was mine, I was the ocean. There was no limitation. A tremendous power arose as if I could do anything whatsoever. I was not there, only the power was there. I reached to the garden where I used to go every day. The garden was closed, closed for the night. It was too late, it was almost one o'clock in the night. The gardeners were fast asleep. I had to enter the garden like a thief, I had to climb the gate. But something was pulling me towards the garden. It was not within my capacity to prevent myself. I was just floating. That's what I mean when I say again and again 'float with the river, don't push the river'. I was relaxed, I was in a let-go. I was not there. it was there, call it god—god was there. I would like to call it it, because god is too human a word, and has become too dirty by too much use, has become too polluted by so many people. Christians, Hindus, Mohammedans, priests and politicians—they all have corrupted the beauty of the word. So let me call it it. It was there and I was just carried away…carried by a tidal wave. The moment I entered the garden everything became luminous, it was all over the place—the benediction, the blessedness. I could see the trees for the first time—their green, their life, their very sap running. The whole garden was asleep, the trees were asleep. But I could see the whole garden alive, even the small grass leaves were so beautiful. I looked around. One tree was tremendously luminous—the maulshree tree. It attracted me, it pulled me towards itself. I had not chosen it, god himself has chosen it. I went to the tree, I sat under the tree. As I sat there things started settling. The whole universe became a benediction. It is difficult to say how long I was in that state. When I went back home it was four o'clock in the morning, so I must have been there by clock time at least three hours—but it was infinity. It had nothing to do with clock time. It was timeless. Those three hours became the whole eternity, endless eternity. There was no time, there was no passage of time; it was the virgin reality—uncorrupted, untouchable, unmeasurable. And that day something happened that has continued—not as a continuity—but it has still continued as an undercurrent. Not as a permanency—each moment it has been happening again and again. It has been a miracle each moment. That night…and since that night I have never been in the body. I am hovering around it. I became tremendously powerful and at the same time very fragile. I became very strong, but that strength is not the strength of a Mohammed Ali. That strength is not the strength of a rock, that strength is the strength of a rose flower—so fragile in his strength…so fragile, so sensitive, so delicate. The rock will be there, the flower can go any moment, but still the flower is stronger than the rock because it is more alive. Or, the strength of a dewdrop on a leaf of grass just shining; in the morning sun—so beautiful, so precious, and yet can slip any moment. So incomparable in its grace, but a small breeze can come and the dewdrop can slip and be lost forever. Buddhas have a strength which is not of this world. Their strength is totally of love…Like a rose flower or a dewdrop. Their strength is very fragile, vulnerable. Their strength is the strength of life not of death. Their power is not of that which kills; their power is of that which creates. Their power is not of violence, aggression; their power is that of compassion. But I have never been in the body again, I am just hovering around the body. And that's why I say it has been a tremendous miracle. Each moment I am surprised I am still here, I should not be. I should have left any moment, still I am here. Every morning I open my eyes and I say, 'So, again I am still here?' Because it seems almost impossible. The miracle has been a continuity. Just the other day somebody asked a question—'Osho, you are getting so fragile and delicate and so sensitive to the smells of hair oils and shampoos that it seems we will not be able to see you unless we all go bald.' By the way, nothing is wrong with being bald—bald is beautiful. Just as 'black is beautiful', so 'bald is beautiful'. But that is true and you have to be careful about it. I am fragile, delicate and sensitive. That is my strength. If you throw a rock at a flower nothing will happen to the rock, the flower will be gone. But still you cannot say that the rock is more powerful than the flower. The flower will be gone because the flower was alive. And the rock—nothing will happen to it because it is dead. The flower will be gone because the flower has no strength to destroy. The flower will simply disappear and give way to the rock. The rock has a power to destroy because the rock is dead. Remember, since that day I have never been in the body really; just a delicate thread joins me with the body. And I am continuously surprised that somehow the whole must be willing me to be here, because I am no more here with my own strength, I am no more here on my own. It must be the will of the whole to keep me here, to allow me to linger a little more on this shore. Maybe the whole wants to share something with you through me. Since that day the world is unreal. Another world has been revealed. When I say the world is unreal I don't mean that these trees are unreal. These trees are absolutely real—but the way you see these trees is unreal. These trees are not unreal in themselves—they exist in god, they exist in absolute reality—but the way you see them you never see them; you are seeing something else, a mirage. You create your own dream around you and unless you become awake you will continue to dream. The world is unreal because the world that you know is the world of your dreams. When dreams drop and you simply encounter the world that is there, then the real world. There are not two things, god and the world. God is the world if you have eyes, clear eyes, without any dreams, without any dust of the dreams, without any haze of sleep; if you have clear eyes, clarity, perceptiveness, there is only god. Then somewhere god is a green tree, and somewhere else god is a shining star, and somewhere else god is a cuckoo, and somewhere else god is a flower, and somewhere else a child and somewhere else a river—then only god is. The moment you start seeing, only god is. But right now whatsoever you see is not the truth, it is a projected lie. That is the meaning of a mirage. And once you see, even for a single split moment, if you can see, if you can allow yourself to see, you will find immense benediction present all over, everywhere—in the clouds, in the sun, on the earth. This is a beautiful world. But I am not talking about your world, I am talking about my world. Your world is very ugly, your world is your world created by a self, your world is a projected world. You are using the real world as a screen and projecting your own ideas on it. When I say the world is real, the world is tremendously beautiful, the world is luminous with infinity, the world is light and delight, it is a celebration, I mean my world—or your world if you drop your dreams. When you drop your dreams you see the same world as any Buddha has ever seen. When you dream you dream privately. Have you watched it?—that dreams are private. You cannot share them even with your beloved. You cannot invite your wife to your dream—or your husband, or your friend. You cannot say, 'Now, please come tonight in my dream. I would like to see the dream together.' It is not possible. Dream is a private thing, hence it is illusory, it has no objective reality. God is a universal thing. Once you come out of your private dreams, it is there. It has been always there. Once your eyes are clear, a sudden illumination—suddenly you are overflooded with beauty, grandeur and grace. That is the goal, that is the destiny. Let me repeat. Without effort you will never reach it, with effort nobody has ever reached it. You will need great effort, and only then there comes a moment when effort becomes futile. But it becomes futile only when you have come to the very peak of it, never before it. When you have come to the very pinnacle of your effort—all that you can do you have done—then suddenly there is no need to do anything any more. You drop the effort. But nobody can drop it in the middle, it can be dropped only at the extreme end. So go to the extreme end if you want to drop it. Hence I go on insisting: make as much effort as you can, put your whole energy and total heart in it, so that one day you can see—now effort is not going to lead me anywhere. And that day it will not be you who will drop the effort, it drops on its own accord. And when it drops on its own accord, meditation happens. Meditation is not a result of your efforts, meditation is a happening. When your efforts drop, suddenly meditation is there…the benediction of it, the blessedness of it, the glory of it. It is there like a presence…luminous, surrounding you and surrounding everything. It fills the whole earth and the whole sky. That meditation cannot be created by human effort. Human effort is too limited. That blessedness is so infinite. You cannot manipulate it. It can happen only when you are in a tremendous surrender. When you are not there only then it can happen. When you are a no-self—no desire, not going anywhere—when you are just herenow, not doing anything in particular, just being, it happens. And it comes in waves and the waves become tidal. It comes like a storm, and takes you away into a totally new reality. But first you have to do all that you can do, and then you have to learn non-doing. The doing of the non-doing is the greatest doing, and the effort of effortlessness is the greatest effort. Your meditation that you create by chanting a mantra or by sitting quiet and still and forcing yourself, is a very mediocre meditation. It is created by you, it cannot be bigger than you. It is homemade, and the maker is always bigger than the made. You have made it by sitting, forcing in a yoga posture, chanting 'rama, rama, rama' or anything—'blah, blah, blah'—anything. You have forced the mind to become still. It is a forced stillness. It is not that quiet that comes when you are not there. It is not that silence which comes when you are almost non-existential. It is not that beautitude which descends on you like a dove. It is said when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist in the Jordan River, god descended in him, or the holy ghost descended in him like a dove. Yes, that is exactly so. When you are not there peace descends in you…fluttering like a dove…reaches in your heart and abides there and abides there forever. You are your undoing, you are the barrier. Meditation is when the meditator is not. When the mind ceases with all its activities—seeing that they are futile—then the unknown penetrates you, overwhelms you. The mind must cease for god to be. Knowledge must cease for knowing to be. You must disappear, you must give way. You must become empty, then only you can be full. That night I became empty and became full. I became non-existential and became existence. That night I died and was reborn. But the one that was reborn has nothing to do with that which died, it is a discontinuous thing. On the surface it looks continuous but it is discontinuous. The one who died, died totally; nothing of him has remained. Believe me, nothing of him has remained, not even a shadow. It died totally, utterly. It is not that I am just a modified rup, transformed, modified form, transformed form of the old. No, there has been no continuity. That day of March twenty-first, the person who had lived for many many lives, for millennia, simply died. Another being, absolutely new, not connected at all with the old, started to exist. Religion just gives you a total death. Maybe that's why the whole day previous to that happening I was feeling some urgency like death, as if I am going to die—and I really died. I have known many other deaths but they were nothing compared to it, they were partial deaths. Sometimes the body died, sometimes a part of the mind died, sometimes a part of the ego died, but as far as the person was concerned, it remained. Renovated many times, decorated many times, changed a little bit here and there, but it remained, the continuity remained. That night the death was total. It was a date with death and god simultaneously.

The concepts in this journal are taken from the book; the Four Agreement by DON MIGUEL RUIZ. It is a such an effective book of life transformation if taken seriously. I read the book one year ago. I did practice some of its cencept, but I need to get to the next level. Domestication and the Dream of the Planet WHAT YOU ARE SEEING AND HEARING RIGHT NOW IS nothing but a dream. You are dreaming right now in this moment. You are dreaming with the brain awake. Dreaming is the main function of the mind, and the mind dreams twenty-four hours a day. It dreams when the brain is awake, and it also dreams when the brain is asleep. The difference is that when the brain is awake, there is a material frame that makes us perceive things in a linear way. When we go to sleep we do not have the frame, and the dream has the tendency to change constantly...... PRELUDE TO A NEW DREAM There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with other people, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children. But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality. In these agreements you say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; this is possible, that is impossible.” Each time you break an agreement, all the power you used to create it returns to you. If you adopt these four new agreements, they will create enough personal power for you to change the entire system of your old agreements. You need a very strong will in order to adopt The Four Agreements — but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing. You will see the drama of hell disappear right before your very eyes. Instead of living in a dream of hell, you will be creating a new dream — your personal dream of heaven. The Four Agreements, which should be installed are the followoing: 1) Be impeccable with your word. THE FIRST AGREEMENT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth..... Just imagine what you can create with impeccability of the word. With the impeccability of the word you can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life. You can live in heaven in the middle of thousands of people living in hell because you are immune to that hell. You can attain the kingdom of heaven from this one agreement: Be impeccable with your word. How To Apply The Agreement: Not using the word "I will " I should try to say only positive words about myself and other people. Reality is just as it is. I have ZERO control over it. All I do is turning within and cleaning myself up. 2) Don't Take Anything Personally The deep I could meditate so far is 4 hours. I ( will) make it a habit from now on. So, four hours of SDS everyday. this wil help to expand my awareness. I believe it will help me not taking things personally and making assumption about others. THE NEXT THREE AGREEMENTS ARE REALLY BORN from the first agreement. The second agreement is don’t take anything personally. Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Using an earlier example, if I see you on the street and I say, “Hey, you are so stupid,” without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, “How does he know? Is he clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?” You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell. What causes you to be trapped is what we call personal importance. Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me.” During the period of our education, or our domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me! 3) Don't Make Assumption There is just "seeing". I experienced seeing after a 3 hours od meditation. I know how it feels. So, that " state" should be permanant, all the time. Well, hopefully.. There is only "here" "now" what time is it? Now!! THE THIRD AGREEMENT IS DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking — we take it personally — then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment to consider the truth of this statement. The whole war of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally. Our whole dream of hell is based on that. 4) Always Do Your Best Do my best in the gym to get the body I want. Do my best in my social interaction. I am giong to do my best in my online marketing. I am an ABNORMALLY passionate beginner on this field. So, It is mastered for sure . Reading and updating this journal everyday. THERE IS JUST ONE MORE AGREEMENT, BUT IT’S THE one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best. Do your best to follow those four agreement. Know that your best change from time to time. You are not going to be" your best all the time, but it is ok. Breaking Old Agreements Awareness is always the first step because if you are not aware, there is nothing you can change. If you are not aware that your mind is full of wounds and emotional poison, you cannot begin to clean and heal the wounds and you will continue to suffer. There is no reason to suffer. With awareness you can rebel and say, “This is enough!” You can look for a way to heal and transform your personal dream. The dream of the planet is just a dream. It is not even real. If you go into the dream and start challenging your beliefs, you will find that most of the beliefs that guided you into the wounded mind are not even true. You will find that you suffered all those years of drama for nothing. Why? Because the belief system that was put inside your mind is based on lies. THE ART OF TRANSFORMATION: THE DREAM OF THE SECOND ATTENTION One way to change your beliefs is to focus your attention on all those agreements and beliefs, and change the agreements with yourself. In doing this you are using your attention for the second time, thus creating the dream of the second attention or the new dream. The difference is that you are no longer innocent. When you were a child this was not true; you didn’t have a choice. But you are no longer a child. Now it’s up to you to choose what to believe and what not to believe. You can choose to believe in anything, and that includes believing in yourself. The first step is to become aware of the fog that is in your mind. You must become aware that you are dreaming all the time. Only with awareness do you have the possibility of transforming your dream. If you have the awareness that the whole drama of your life is the result of what you believe, and what you believe is not real, then you can begin to change it. However, to really change your beliefs you need to focus your attention on what it is that you want to change. You have to know which agreements you want to change before you can change them. So the next step is to develop awareness of all the self-limiting, fear-based beliefs that make you unhappy. You take an inventory of all that you believe, all your agreements, and through this process you begin the transformation. The Toltecs called this the Art of Transformation, and it’s a whole mastery. You achieve the Mastery of Transformation by changing the fear-based agreements that make you suffer, and reprogramming your own mind, in your own way. One of the ways to do this is to explore and adopt alternative beliefs such as the Four Agreements. Heaven on Earth I WANT YOU TO FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE learned in your whole life. This is the beginning of a new understanding, a new dream. The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time. You have the power to create hell, and you have the power to create heaven. Why not dream a different dream? Why not use your mind, your imagination, and your emotions to dream heaven? PRAYER FOR FREEDOM Today, Creator of the Universe, we ask that you come to us and share with us a strong communion of love. We know that your real name is Love, that to have a communion with you means to share the same vibration, the same frequency that you are, because you are the only thing that exists in the universe. Today, help us to be like you are, to love life, to be life, to be love. Help us to love the way you love, with no conditions, no expectations, no obligations, without any judgment. Help us to love and accept ourselves without any judgment, because when we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty and we need to be punished. Help us to love everything you create unconditionally, especially other human beings, especially those who live around us — all our relatives and people whom we try so hard to love. Because when we reject them, we reject ourselves, and when we reject ourselves, we reject You. Help us to love others just the way they are with no conditions. Help us to accept them the way they are, without judgment, because if we judge them, we find them guilty, we blame them, and we have the need to punish them. Today, clean our hearts of any emotional poison that we have, free our minds from any judgment so that we can live in complete peace and complete love. Today is a very special day. Today we open our hearts to love again so that we can tell each other “I love you,” without any fear, and really mean it. Today, we offer ourselves to you. Come to us, use our voices, use our eyes, use our hands, and use our hearts to share ourselves in a communion of love with everyone. Today, Creator, help us to be just like you are. Thank you for everything that we receive this day, especially for the freedom to be who we really are. Amen. PRAYER FOR LOVE We are going to share a beautiful dream together — a dream that you will love to have all of the time. In this dream you are in the middle of a beautiful, warm sunny day. You hear the birds, the wind, and a little river. You walk toward the river. At the edge of the river is an old man in meditation, and you see that out of his head comes a beautiful light of different colors. You try not to bother him, but he notices your presence and opens his eyes. He has the kind of eyes that are full of love and a big smile. You ask him how he is able to radiate all that beautiful light. You ask him if he can teach you to do what he is doing. He replies that many, many, years ago he asked the same question of his teacher. The old man begins to tell you his story: “My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love. “That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire — a fire that doesn’t burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally. “But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, and the trees loved me back, and I became one with the trees, but my love did not stop, it grew more. I put a piece of love in every flower, in the grass, in the earth and they loved me back, and we became one. And my love grew more and more to love every animal in the world. They responded to my love and they loved me back, and we became one. But my love kept growing and growing. “I put a piece of my love in every crystal, in every stone in the ground, in the dirt, in the metals, and they loved me back, and I became one with the earth. And then I decided to put my love in the water, in the oceans, in the rivers, in the rain, in the snow. And they loved me back and we became one. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air, to the wind. I felt a strong communion with the earth, with the wind, with the oceans, with nature, and my love grew and grew. “I turned my head to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and put a little piece of my love in every star, in the moon, in the sun, and they loved me back. And I became one with the moon and the sun and the stars, and my love kept growing and growing. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love.” And then the old man opens his own chest, takes out his heart with that beautiful flame inside, and he puts that flame in your heart. And now that love is growing inside of you. Now you are one with the wind, with the water, with the stars, with all of nature, with all animals, and with all humans. You feel the heat and the light emanating from the flame in your heart. Out of your head shines a beautiful light of different colors. You are radiant with the glow of love and you pray: Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light. Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in love the rest of my life. Amen Who am I? I don't know who am I, and I have no problems saying so I don't have a biography whatever I thought my biography was is utturly meaningless, a waste of joy In what date I was born, in what country, I was born in what religion, I belong does not matter, a waste of time I do not follow the Quran, the bible... I do not follow any prophet or guru, again, a waste of time what matters is what I am here now..

Love is your natural expression, to fully embody it in the qualities you're seeking you have to neutralize the cacophony of unreleased emotional charges present within you that muddy your vibration and therefore your experience, both internally and externally in what you attract. By releasing emotional charges, you automatically align with the love that you are. In truth, all emotions and all experiences are love, but they are in a sense distorted into a wide array of emotional colours, some of which are abrasive and undesirable to the mind. Therefore seek to neutralize fear, anger, grief and other negative emotions. There are many methods of neutralizing these emotions. The primary tool is acceptance and unconditional presence with what arises. One must find a methodology, practice or principle that is sustainable. To make steady gains and great progress, it may not be enough to do an occasional shadow work sitting. Any effort is always good, but if you want to transform radically, you have to make the effort. When we only sometimes make effort to remove negative emotions, It can feel very overwhelming to dip into our large reserves or unintegrated charges because they feel like huge mountains in which we are only lifting a few pebbles. That is why it is important to engage in a practice or principle that is going to allow for regular sustainable release throughout your day to day life. Not just weekends or evenings. In order to make practice sustainable, it is useful to make a dedication to understanding emotions and how energy works. This will create more understanding so you won't get overwhelmed, confused or disheartened. By understanding the internal landscape, you have a map by which to navigate. Make a commitment to become aware of the negative emotions that arise in your experience, and make a commitment to allow them to be the catalyst to your highest expression by accepting them each time, which starts to release the pressure of them. This is one of the fastest routes to transformation of consciousness, which results in shifting of relationships, inner well-being, vocational goals, creativity, spiritual progress, happiness, etc. The best book I know on this subject is Letting Go - The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins.

@ajasatya I could not agree more with you. I need to do a lot of forgiveness work, which is what I've been putting my primary focus on. And it's great because I'm seeing a really fast transformation within myself. It's like I don't even recognize myself anymore. I've mentioned recently in another post that my dad passed away a few months ago, and how I had a lot of anger and frustration towards him because of how he treated me in my past. It is NOW my time to show compassion and send him love and let go. It is only my ego and my thoughts that think there is a problem. Parents play a huge part in how you view relationships and the type of relationships you attract. I've noticed the pattern that I have created in my life. I've been single for the last 8 going on 9 years and for a great reason. And I went on a wild journey where I got involved in adult entertainment for several years. I've learned so much from my mistakes. After walking away from the sex and becoming more celibate I've noticed a huge shift. Sex is indeed an addiction. And people...a lover can be an addiction if we are not careful if our thoughts are not in the right place. I've learned to give back to others and show compassion for other people while working with people using hypnosis, reiki and life coaching. I have found my life purpose. I just KNOW I need to create a Burning Self Love within myself. That is my next step. I've been seeking TRUTH since I was 16 years old so I know it is definitely my top value. And health has many aspects to it....spiritually, mentally, and physically. There is indeed a balance that needs to be kept so that we can thrive. I've taken it upon myself to drastically change my diet, which has in turn affected me mentally and spiritually. The food we eat effects the way we think. The thoughts and affirmations in our mind impact our actions, and that effects our SUCCESS! You are what you believe yourself to be! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experiences and advice. It really does help! I'm so happy for you that you have found someone that lives and shares this TRUTH and Love. I know I will find my soul mate with patience. But right now I have more important things to work on!

Everyone at some point in their practice, probably sooner than later, will get in touch with their deep suffering they have been carrying around, and which we generally have learned to let out but to stuff up: 'be happy, tough up, don't cry, be a man, don't be selfish, don't be a drama queen' etc. But crying is a big part of the path and it will happen, and if you block it you are bringing yourself to a halt if, if you honestly seek to feel it you will fasten the transformation, either way, the dam should break at one point or the other. And if there is one thing that feels good, lightens the burden and in so literally enlightens you, it's getting in touch with our emotions and crying, it brings you to yourself, you can feel it. And paradoxically, when you feel the sadness, you don't get more attached to the 'drama' but less, you get closer to the still self and actually become more detached and at peace. So it's important and it's beautiful, always. The despair drama that is often associated with sadness does not come from the sadness but from suppressing it and not letting it all out and thinking there is no way out , and also because the belief that death is the total end and thus bad, however I know from my experience it's not, and anyone can come to the same conclusion through direct experience and or research (www.evidenceforthesoul.weebly.com). - So aside from meditation, which is always the key and path to inner fruition, what helps me also is a lot consciously connecting with a passed loved one, feeling the beauty of their return to their true self and the presence of it (either in dreams, meditation and or in an attuned regular state of being), but also the sadness that you might not feel them completely and also the strong emotion that comes from realizing the pain you have been carrying around and the lack of knwoing and being your true self as pure clear consciousness without suppression and delusion of separation. And also, watching people cry and looking at the suffering of the world head on. I always avoided these things because I thought i could not bear, but I found out that truly getting to the depth of the pain and compassion you see actually is what makes it also profound and beautiful in it's own way, that one can go so so deep (but also knowing that all eventually know the light as well). So if you feel like it, I would recommend looking at the suffering head on, look up the crying people from Syria or even people putting out their true selves in singing contests and getting recognized for once in their life. Don't be afraid, what you get in touch with you integrate and it feels good, whole and safe, but what you resist persists and that actually feels uncomfortable. Thanks for listening I hope it helps. God bless.

I'll never forget the time I stuck a fork in a live 240v socket - my transformation & enlightenment was instantaneous.

Have you read Being Human? That's the one he wrote shortly after his awakening (I think). I thought that would be the one going most into detail about his transformation. I haven't read it.

I am going through the same thing. Transformation tends to be an ugly process, but it leads to something greater.

Hey, everyone. I've been neurotic pretty much my entire life, and I've accumulated a lot of anxious and fear-based thinking habits and irrational beliefs and fears. Pursuing enlightenment has just compounded it all and I feel like I'm stuck with nowhere to go, no way to move forward. I practice remaining as awareness as often as I can, but the conditioning is just so powerful. I've watched Leo's video on neuroticism and have learned a lot from other sources as well, but it just feels like my cup is just way too damn full. I think part of the problem is that I want answers to all of my questions, but I have absolutely no answers and it's hard to be comfortable with that. Maybe being comfortable with all of the unknowns is the answer and if it is I need to find a way to start practicing that. At this point I'm questioning everything. If enlightenment is real, if self-transformation is possible, etc. I am just so confused about what I want and how to go about achieving it. Side note: I've been doing a lot of work on the nature of the separate self for the last several months, and suffice it to say that the separate self does seem to be completely illusory. It seems like the more of the illusion I become aware of, the more fearful and anxious and depressed, etc. I become. I'm just sick of being stuck in limbo. I don't know how to progress forward, and it's laughable at this point to even consider the possibility of turning back and trying to pretend I can find peace, happiness, and all of the deep meaningful things that humans want out of life by getting a career, family, more money, etc. To sum it all up: I'm confused as shit, don't know how the fuck to progress on the path, and don't know how to deal with my neuroticism. I have a deep desire to start working on the neuroticism and would love to know if anyone knows of a framework I can use to go about doing it. Any other helpful suggestions are also welcome.

Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after . Legend goes Taurus wrote his first book on a Leo Comment section as his first post in the community. Since then everyone both loved and hated him for he was the Taurus. Reading is a function. You can call that function. Or you can choose to run another function. But stick all your attention in one function, like reading, because that's the only thing you're doing right now. Or breathing. I mean, right now you are breathing AND reading this. because if you weren't reading it, you wouldn't know I said it, and if you're reading it, you definitely must be breathing, otherwise you'd be dad. Let the body control the breath, because it is vital. Don't let your monkey mind close you your breath ever. You dont want to give the tail of the snake to the snake, because it will hurt the snake. Give out LOVE to receive LOVE. Love is the best story, love is the best life. Love is when your life works out perfectly, exactly how you want it, because in every moment you want exactly this. The thing that is happening to you. You want to be reading this and you are enjoying your body, as if you are consuming energy all the time and receiving the pure joy of having a position and the thought that you are something and that you matter to someone. Like getting reputation on Actualized.org or becoming a dragon with wings and burning the entire existence just for the LOLS, because you are a keyboard warrior and you can say what you wanna say and do what you wanna do, because life is too precious to waste it on typing slowly. Type as fast as you can, and you can never bee spoken down upon. Cause nobody's reading that far, who am I kidding [Reply by Anonymous Keyboard Warrior] lol that kid cares -Taurus [+1B reputation] because Yeah, I am a keyboard warrior, but there is a reason for it. And that reason is South park. They make me into a keyboard warrior with the ideas that they allow my mind to think is possible. And that's fucking possible, because it's happening. I can say anything. It's art. It's drawing. Drawing something into nothing in a virtual space that will soon be gone and forgotten never seen by anyone, nobody noticing what is right infront of their face. The beauty of life itself, not finding a truth, because one has to see the truth is all around them and be satisfied with what they have and actually be truthful that everything around them is beautiful. It's like the prettiest girl being in-love with you, but you are too honourable to leave your station as keyboard warrior. That's how ready I am for this. My ships of freedom of speech are vast and of many varieties. The first variety I need to specify is the variety of chance. When I am not thinking, I am thinking that there's 0 chance of something happening. But then reality proves me wrong, by showing me, look, you were wrong. Now learn. You are an awesome machine. But you gotta stop trying to control it, because it has a momentum of it's own, we are the master of ourselves. We are the puppetmasters of our selves. We are high above, controlling ourselves from as high as we want. And if we're eccentric freaking maniacs we will go so deep, that we become the servant. The real master serves to the servant. Because it's a friendship - You do something for me, I have to do something for you. Certainly that's how Thesis: Nobody will read this, even though reading is the most amazing activity. By itself in itself, you become the page. The empty space... Because when you write something that you wrote you create the 3d space in which intelligence to shine. Nobody can move your muscles but yourself. Feeling relaxed is better than feeling good. You can be in grave danger, and still be calm, because if you show fear, the enemy will know. You gotta be fearless. Like a cat that has to be a Lion to protect it's kittens. So I can say anything I want..! Oh My. I decided to edit and made this post into a ritual, so I strongly urge people not to read this, because it's my own secret private place that I don't want anyone to see. And you are going to see it - reading is the best thing you could be doing at this moment. Not even that, reading this will be the most enjoyable thing to you, because it is so unlikely to be happening, that it is a universal experience, one of a kind, one that cannot be replicated and yet it has been replicated, and we are the ssame, but freekidi doo dah. +....@ <-We all got issues like this guy, but that doesn't mean we can't let them go. Letting go. Reading on like a feather being pushed slightly in a single direction and then the other. You are surfing on my words. Please pop on. You are reading only the tops of each letter and you know the letters in 3d form. You are the most amazing code. Too bad it can't run the function. A prayer and a meditation are functions. Everything else is brushing with white. The only important thing is hidden in the junk. Sometimes you have to really deep dig in the dirt to find the gold. We can fail. But we do it anyway, because who cares, we are still reading and we are training the mini intelligence within. Actually fuck that scratch that I can give less fucks? Nobody's reading this junk, someone might even think it's spam, cause they will be freaked by the amount of letters coming their way. But if I say Sorry for the length of this post, I just had some stuff to get out of my chest, so I don't feel bad after. I am saying secrets that can bring joy and beauty to this word through complete transformation of your thought to be just light, screen. The empty page in front of you, which you want to fill with the present moment and the filling of the empty space. While only thinking about the empty space, you are going to be able to say or do anything you want, because you are free to do so. This is a state of thought so amazing, because every single little decision seems like is coming from you, while in fact it is coming from the mother god who is the motherboard to existence, a mountain so huge and beautiful, it has cast us away for being too simple. Until we jump forth and do what we had forgotten we can do. This is filling the nothingness with something. You are doing that just by being and this is your golden form, just being yourself, relaxing and letting your body take care of the work, while you are drifting off into fairytail land where you meet god and all his angels and you go into all that deep stuff you know. The deep shit. But the SIMPLE reality is that you change conciousness all the time. Conciousness is just your state of mind, state of conciousness is state of mind looked through the prism of the mind. the mind is like a snake chasing it''s tail cause it has nothiing else to left. It's playing cat and mouse, so it spun and spun, faster and faster until one day she realized she was alone, the black colour alone. The feeling of intense joy and aliveness that I feel when I am in front of the blank page. It gives me all the freedom in the world to type big scripts and incredible stories, if only I switch the music on. I'm gonna do Yoga and return. I am the only one in the room. I am typing these words. At this moment this is what I want to say the most. It's me again'ts nothing. There's no thing on the page. It's just me and the page. Ok. We have established connection to headquarters. We are here and now, ready to type away. We are incredible machines of vast superpowers to use the keyboard of a device that can grant wishes. You can play with it, it's just another wave. Ok. Too Deep. Let's bring it back to the beginning. In the beginning there was time? Wait, what time is it? 23:57. I must be in another state of consciousness because of my meditation sessions earlier. Either my mind is playing tricks on me, or you're still reading it at this point. What I am about to say, you are not going to skip. And even if you skip them, I wouldn't mind, because if you skipped these words, then I know you did not even read them, so I am safe to write, because it is illogical for anyone to ever be watching what I am saying at this moment. It's about waves really. ~What is a wave? A structure perhaps, but listen. This is my presentation. I put forth to you the power of the waves. It's not me tho,, I am learning too The hands are doing all the work, ALL I have to do was sit myself in front of the blank screen and allays look at the blank. We don't even need to think about how we write because we are doing it automatically. I can safely say that if you are reading at this point, you are really loving this because otherwise you wouldn't even be doing it. My mind does this by itself, and it does it because it doesn't matter if anyone else experiences this text, the speed with which I am typing it and the very concentration I have over this activity is taking me out of my usual state of nothingness and puts me in the field of large texts and big numbers. The numbers make no difference, because there is infinity between 0 and 1 and they are not even that big of numbers, in FACT they are the primal numbers, the white and the black were their ancestor. The computer is humanity's child yet to be born. It's our canvas. Our art is waiting to be born in it's amazing saving and sharing potential. Man, the internet is awesome. For expression. But I am straying away from what is primary. The primary thing is that we are both experiencing this text in a certain way. And we can only experience it in the human way, the real human way, is to be in front of the screen, completely encapsulated by what you are doing in the online world, defeating dragon code at work. Now comes my choice. I am literally doing training for my hands. My hands are teaching my body. They are dancing on the keyboard my typing is really sexy Any girl will fall for a keyboard warrior like me because I am not going to let her attention go. I will alllways add another line and be the perfect human being for her, because that's what she wants. She wants me to be a real human. Not some superhuman freak with 100 abilities like reading minds or astral projecting into other realms. Other realms can fucking wait, because my conciousness is completely absorbed with the screen, and the virtual reality of the empty space that I am filling with my black ink of art. On a FREAKING AWESOME Friday night. A night so memorable I can already see. Behind me as the story of being a human body. And boy, I love water so much, because it gives me pure white energy from the source and is giving me gold on the inside that is pouring over my internal and exteral reality. It can do things on it's own better than if I control it I understood, that when nobody has the ultimate rules, you can be anything, because you set the rules. Being an atheist is the best blessing, because they are not expecting anything from anyone, and therefore taking things into their own hands. And use the power of the present moment... Fuck that. It's not even the present moment. I just am myself. And when someone is themselves they have impecable word and what they say is what it is. It's solidified, so nobody will tell me that I can't say this or this or this. Well. I need to relax. I am still the master owner of this white little space of nothingness. Nobody else can reach the fast speed that I am achieving at this moment as two spiders jumping on top of a laptop. This is my reality at this moment. I had forgotten nay, I have forgotten. Why Am I doing this? I am going to do Yoga. Look at the top. It's like you've travelled through time, look at the start of this. You used to be a peasant to the nothingness, but now you are filling it with something. That's the power. We are making something new here. Those pixels in infinity wouldn't have existed in this order unless I put them there at this exact same order. This feels fantastic and I am not one to lie about this. We have to admit our body knows more than us and we are the body. Lol that kid thinks he's enlightened? No. He is exercising his finger muscles to move around the keyboard in a sense of I don't even care. Just don't even care about what you have to write and see how smart your body is ;o.

@Bebop jup, the Point is that we don`t know how far away this Realisation is for us. We might hallucinate about just being one tick away and being in fact the farest possible distance away. but at some Point a Quantum leap into that or Transformation should happen. For sure we cannot force that ourselves. It is also some kind of grace that is always there but we are not yet receptive for it to happen.

I actually read up about this and followed the four steps. The transformation I experienced is surreal, I think it's really like a spiritual transformation. For example, I used to have confidence and self-esteem issues, and now they're just all gone because I know they are not logical and since logic is my core value I just let go of them immediately. I also feel super clear-headed, present in the moment, and have total peace of mind all day long since I followed these steps earlier this day. Ego has vanished completely, I have no sense of identity any longer, I just am. However, I'm still a bit skeptical because maybe this is just a placebo and I will stop being in this state of absolute peace and joy tomorrow or sometime soon. I will do some more research into this and report back to you guys in a few days. @nolenjoney Logic is not cold. Think about it, if it wasn't for logic – the mathematical patterns that govern our universe – you would not be able to experience anything that you experience. Since the laws of nature are what bring about everything that we can perceive we have them to thank for things such as pleasent emotions, etc. Also, I think that logic can be used to solve humanity's suffering, and there are two reasons why I think so: i) Every major advancement in human history has been made thanks to our ability to understand logic and apply it to reality (e.g. medical system, houses, the Internet, computers, and so on); ii) Since I change my core value to logic (or at least I think I did, but we'll have to see) all my problems vanished from one second to another as it was just not logical to have them (e.g. low self-esteem, lack of confidence, procrastination). PS: Sorry for the messy post, I am in a really excited and tired state while writing this. (Excited because of the effects of following the steps that were outlined in the documentary.)

Modern folks tend to re-invent the wheel a lot in ignorance when it comes to psychology or spirituality. It's ironic because psychology and spirituality have been fully understood by humans since over 5000 years ago. It's very simple and it's virtually unanimous. The core problem is simple: ego The core solution is also simple: realize that ego is an illusion God is what remains when ego is realized to be an illusion. There cannot be true freedom until this is realized. God is not a set of patterns or universal laws. God is not logic. God is indiscriminate and unbounded, whereas patterns and laws and logic are limitations, facets of Absolute Infinity. This technique they share may be helpful on a practical level, but remember, there are much deeper and more profound things to discover. If we're gonna boil down reality to one thing, it should be CONSCIOUSNESS, not logic. What this video is doing is sorta making a weak version of spirituality palatable to rational-minded people who normally dismiss spirituality and religion because of its packaging. But actually these people do not understand the deep core of all religious and mystical traditions and how practical and therapeutic it is. Modern culture needs things packaged in "logic" in order for people to swallow it. Which is actually a big part of the problem because logic is a tool of the ego. The problem with trying to rationalize nonduality/reality is that it will always ultimately fail, because rationalization is conceptual in nature, and reality is beyond concepts. What would really help people watching this video is to let go of their need for logic, concepts, thinking, rationality, science, and evolution. Now that would be a really counter-intuitive move, and lead to an amazing transformation!

@ChimpBrain You're on the right track, but your thinking it still too small, and you lack deep research. Study the hell out of this field. There's so much potential here. But you're gonna have to do research. And remember to think BIG. Ask big questions like, "What does humanity need in this field?" Worm gardening? Is that really important? Or maybe humanity needs environmental education and awareness? Or an organization that promotes these concepts? Etc. Don't think of this issue as, "How can I make a living doing something Earth-friendly?" No! That's too selfish and small. Instead think of the issue as, "How can I transform how humanity relates to the Earth?" Now that would be you thinking in terms of providing VALUE to the world. And then it would only be a matter of research to discover what that WAY should be. Do research by reading dozens of books, studies, and magazines on this topic. Go to some seminars/conferences/expos. Go meet people who work in this industry. Find out where the opportunities are and why people are so unconscious when it comes the environment. Then you'll have tons of ideas for how to solve these real-world problems. A life purpose must be grounded in helping people overcome real-world challenges. That's what generates both IMPACT and MONEY. To create a career, you need to find a way to meaningfully impact others in practical ways. Then they will gladly pay you for it. What transformation do you want to see in terms of humans and environment? What change would be immensely valuable? Maybe it's saving the polar bears. Maybe it's getting people to stop littering. Maybe it's raising awareness about the threat of global warming. Maybe it's planting new rainforests. Maybe it's developing a new type of solar panel. Etc. Now find YOUR thing! The thing YOU'D really be passionate about.

Documenting more insights... I've come to sort of an understanding as far as why enlightened people describe this world as a "dream". There's really no way of distinguishing it from one and if we compare it to actual dreaming, there are striking similarities. I know that wherever it is I came from was some sort of void. I've known for some time that I more or less "faded" into existence. Sometimes when I sleep, I go periods of time without even dreaming of anything. I imagine this is the same phenomenon as the life-death cycle. What's really quite frightening is that if this is a dream world then that means "I" could very well end up anywhere else in the universe randomly upon my "death". The possibilites are limitless. I suspect that this is why Jed McKenna describes leaving the dreamscape as a foolish idea similar to exiting a submarine or spaceship. How I ended up in this realm, I don't know. Where I'll end up next is beyond me. Over the past months, I've been haunted by intense suicidal urges. Part of me still kind of wants to die but now I see that that might be pretty dumb. I started thinking more about how Japanese people have certain emotions that they can only feel when they think in that language which leads me to believe that maybe I've been tricking myself into thinking that I'm depressed. Maybe anytime I feel emotions for an extended period of time, I'm playing a trick on myself. If the language we use determines how we perceive and interpret reality that maybe emotions are as fictional as the concepts we use to identify them. Yesterday I thought I was done. Enlightened but it seems like theres still further to go. On the other hand, I've also suspected for some time that I have been enlightened since high school since thats when I gained self-awareness, shed most of my ego, began looking at life as a "movie", viewing most people as "characters" or "actors", and I also underwent a noticeable transformation. I just didn't have the knowledge with which to interpret and integrate those experiences before. Maybe that was the beginning of the death of my ego and now I'm finishing the job. The way all the gurus describe enlightenement, they say that it's completely obvious and there will be no doubt when it happens. Lots of people seem to also describe it as the dissolution of the barrier between you and the environment. I don't know if I should follow that especially since killing all Buddhas is part of the process, allegedly.

<11-21-2016> Inventions Begin With A Blueprint I've re-stumbled upon Leo's Personal Development Blueprint. It's basically Personal Development For Dummies. I don't know why Leo hasn't been promoting it more recently. Anyway, I've decided to read each entry one-by-one in order and actually learn and take action on the blueprint. I've gotten to the part about resistance and also connected it with the entries about mastery and life purpose and it really helped me to stay focused today. I'm not sure if it will last in the long term but I have to make sure that it does. Consistency and Discipline are very important for life transformation. However, it was not easy. I kept having urges to stop working and go do something easy and fun. In the end, I got a lot of creative work done and I hope to keep increasing my level of productivity throughout the week if not at least consistent. After reading what I've read so far, I think it's also best I make a Mission Statement as soon as possible. I don't know yet when I'm going to do it because I want to read more on the blueprint first before writing such an important document. When it's done, I am to read it every morning after waking up, no exceptions. That's all for today. Man, today was rough. Emotionally rough. But I did what I wanted to do today. Yippee.

Celibacy is not a discipline, it is a consequence. If your whole energy is needed, sex disappears automatically because you don’t have energy to waste. You put your total energy so you don’t have any energy... and it happens in ordinary life also. You can see a great painter: he forgets women completely. When he is painting there is no sex in his mind,because the whole energy is moving. You don’t have any extra energy. A great poet, a great singer, a dancer who is moving totally in his commitment, automatically becomes celibate. He has no discipline for it. Sex is superfluous energy; sex is a safety valve. When you have too much in you and you cannot do anything with it, the nature has made a safety valve; you can throw it out. You can release it, otherwise you will go mad or burst – explode. And if you try to suppress it, then too you will go mad, because suppressing it won’t help. It needs a transformation, and that transformation comes from total commitment. A warrior, if he is really a warrior – an impeccable warrior, will be beyond sex. His whole energy is moving.

@Alex K So, the qualifications: Discrimination ( which is covered above) Dispassion for objects (happens naturally once student can discriminate ) A shubda pramana (means of knowledge - Vedanta) A qualified teacher who can wield the knowledge. Self acceptance (warts and all) Devotion ( bhakti - devotion for the self's reflection (Isvara, the cosmos) Foreberance Single pointedness of mind (a mind capable of contemplation on the teaching and being able to stay on course. A mind easily distracted won't assimilate knowledge of the self.) Faith in the teachings pending the results of your inquiry. Curiosity and open mindedness transforms into knowledge upon seeing the truths revealed from the scriptures. The point is not to change onselsef as a person, just to gain qualities of mind capable of assimilating the knowledge. The end result is that the person and the world is all perfect as is. No need to change it because there is no desire to change it . Freedom is the goal. Now the saintliness of the person will depend on what his or her role is here, not their choice. Because once you know you are not the doer, the doer can't be changed, it is left to get on with its purpose here. Vedanta teachings are free of charge, they belong to humanity, not to a person. Of course, the modern self help guys want you to think it's about personal transformation because it keeps them in business.

Habits: I think I will not continue this "Habits-Transformation"-thing. I found out that the key to all these habits is consciousness. Consciousness alone. Bad habits are an indicator for low quality consciousness and the only solution is raising your consciousness. I found that visualizing the consequences and listening to this quiet voice inside is helpful. http://www.osho.com/read/featured-articles/body-dharma/the-art-of-eating This will basically be the solution to my overeating. The solution to my excessive internet time is sitting on my couch, meditating and doing exercises from the books.

@Schulzy @Gavalanche do what you love and what your passionate about is what I have learnt from this course so that would be true learning of self actualization wich means mastery which means practice... I don't know about helping others, now its all about just learning all this material seriously, but no idea yet of transformation of this into business. Detachment from outcome needs to be practiced lets see now I will not go to the part of making it real (I've just now got this idea) like right now that I'll just apply one by one all these core concepts to self actulization carring out my normal job and usings leos strategic motherfucker fucker video and many other such vedios..I sence that my life is going to transform radically I have many interesting ideas. Tomorrow morning I've decided to break free from homeostasis and go all in. this thought also just arose now.

<11-10-2016> Emotional Crutches and How Things Have To Get Worse Before They get Better This idea of things getting worse before they get better still hurts my ego a lot. I a struggle with a personal development obstacle that I'm sure a majority of other people with personal development habits also do, which are emotional crutches. For me, I commonly use various forms of entertainment as a means to hide from my problems of fear and anxiety. I really want to put in the effort to remove all carnal cravings and aim straight for my life purpose and enlightenment but the difficulty is just far too strong. I surely hope that awareness really is curative because that's all I've got right now. Be fucking patient, I tell myself everyday. You can see how my daily life has been affected by Leo's content. As I continually work on my consciousness and emotional crutches, I begin to get a sense of what true misery really is and why so many people in the world are not happy. Simply because life transformation takes time and most people are not willing to actively enter long periods of high difficulty to achieve growth. On a positive note, I'm working on another comic strip. It's been a while since I've made one and I've been itching for a while to get back to it. Probably should focus more on them because they are really fun to make. On a negative note, I noticed that I've accidentally been placing 10 instead of 11 on the month section of the dates on my past few journal entries. Not a big deal but kind of lame, really.

Habit-Transformation - Day 16: visualization internet usage - Streak 3 Mindfulness: I had only 6 hours of sleep. I tried to meditate in the morning but quited after half an hour because I was so tired. I almost fell back to sleep. My maths teacher borrowed me an old book of her for first semester maths. I could try to understand the book sometimes in the normal classes because its too easy for me. I just tried to understand the first pages. I did it for about 1 hour and got to the third page... I am doing this to look if I really want to study maths. My tics are coming back again... One of my book orders will arrive tomorrow (Neti Neti Meditation by Andre Doshim Halaw).

Habit-Transformation - Day 15: visualizing internet usage - Streak 2 works out well. I intended to use the internet after waking up but I didn't

Habit-Transformation - Day 14: visualizing internet usage worked out well, just 2 minutes seem like a lot of time Mindfulness: Meditated for 2 hours in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon, including 70 and 48 minutes of sds. Already a long time ago I have recognized that I have this limiting belief that I am unable to meditate much longer than 60 minutes or 90 minutes. There have only been a few instances where I did one session longer than 90 minutes and only one session longer of them has been sds. I think that I don't have the willpower/mindfulness/equanimity to deal with this pain. 60 and 90 minutes are these magical borders where it becomes emotionally more challenging just because of this belief. So what should I do about this? Maybe being mindful about this limiting belief and watching what the ego is doing with this belief. Sitting and watching. Nice Routine: I love Sundays. On Sundays I have the most free time and the new video comes out. Today I had a really nice routine, just with a bit too much internet. I think this would be a good routine for the time after school or in the holidays. waking up at 5am meditating for about 3 hours studying / working working out / moving outside eating meditation inner work Quick calculations: I just had a thought. There are 177 books in Leo's booklist. I am 17, Leo is 31 years old. There is a difference of 14 years. If I want to read all those books until I am as old as Leo now, I would have to read 12.6 books year, so about one book a month. 60 of those 177 books have a 5/5 rating. With this reading speed I would have read the most important books in about 5 years. But some of those books are uninteresting for me, like the categorys life coaching or sex. For me currently interesting are the categories... Emotional Mastery (14) Happiness (6) Life Purpose (7) Dealing with People (7) Consciousness & Enlightenment (34) Metaphysics & Epistemology (3) Paranormal (3) Psychedelics (5) Science & Life (14) Biographies (17) Physiology (1) Philosophy (4) That are 115 books. I could read them all in 9 to 10 years. But Leo has read much more books than those on the list... In 10 years I will already be enlightened

Habits-Transformation - Day 13: visualizing internet usage - Streak 0 slow mindful eating - Streak 0 Why am I lying to myself? I said that I would visualize my internet usage for 2 minutes every time that I intent to use the internet. I never did that, I just thought about it quickly. Therefore it had no real effect except from yesterday. If I continue being so sloppy with transforming my habits, I will have no results / very few like in the last years. I know how to change habits, but I don't apply my knowledge. I know that one should only change one habit at a time -> I will only focus on the internet habit I know that it is effective to use 100% commitment -> "I commit on visualizing the internet usage everytime before I intent to use the internet for 2 minutes. REALLY!" I know that every addiction is the avoidance of emotional labor. The ego is trying to avoid the purifying fire of my existential emptiness -> while visualizing I will get clear about this fact I know how effective positive and negative visualization is -> I will firstly negatively visualize what will happen if I avoid emotional labor. I will have no results. Then I will positively visualize how my life will look like when I have no internet addiction whatsoever I have read "The Power of Habit" and know that there is a guide to change habits -> I will apply this guide in the next post in a few minutes Mindfulness: In the morning I meditated a lot. Firstly 90 minutes of sds and afterwards about 60 minutes of self inquiry and do nothing standing and sitting. Now in the afternoon/evening I did another 58 minutes of sds and 50 minutes of self inquiry and do nothing standing and sitting. That are more than 4 hours, jey! In the self inquiry session I got a little little sense that I am more than this body-mind-identification-thing. For the rest of the day I again was pretty unconscious, but I will not go into details here. Why should I talk about all the negative stuff? But what was positive that I again was working in the garden for 1.5 hours. And I found it enjoyable again and was a little bit more conscious.