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@ZzzleepingBear When I said always that was an exaggeration. I have plenty of useful thoughts. However, Basic needs take up more of my mental activity than I would like and it causes suffering. What I would like is some kind of strategies for 'tapping into' this lucid way of seeing things. Because it's loving clarity and it feels like pure bliss.

@Nahm @Javfly33 yup...you are Infinite Bliss when the ilusion of thought is wiped away

Bliss.

Emotions Emotions are so little talked about, even on this forum which is surprising. The stage Green emotional component is often lacking in this place and lacking in Leo's videos. Very few of his videos talk about emotions, yet we live with them all the time. What is sadness? What is anger? What is embarrassment? What is compassion? What is joy? What is fear? What is anxiety? What is contentment? What is excitement? What is peace? What is bliss? What are all of these emotions? Why do they exist? What is their purpose? How do they work? Understanding all of this is very important for a fulfilling life.

@Giulio Bevilacqua I had pretty mild symptoms, the bliss was way better than any of the mild symptoms. Just don't drink too much coffeine or nicotine or anything that excites the nervous system. If you are on no-fap, you can try to release some energy. If you have physical symptoms, then go to a doctor. Kryias are not only a symptom from Kundalini, but also a sign of nervous system disease, so you should get that checked out. Relax, it will pass and enjoy the ride. I recommend the "Awakened kundalini support group" on facebook. They are truly gifted in telling you the right things you need to hear.

Hi guys, this is the first time I do 3g of mushroom,I'm here to share the experience that I had, It was deeply profound and recontextualized my whole paradigms Let's cut the story short Usually I only do 1-2g of shroom to explore myself, but this time I decide to go deeper, but unfortunately I didn't expect the trip goes so hard, barely can even handle, I tried to stand up but I just can't function properly, I decide to lay down and do conscious breathing hope that I'm able to get better, at the same time I'm monitoring my consciousness, and notice that kundalini thing are doing its work, clearly felt the energy flowing through my spine and forehead And next I was in the peak of my experience, all my emotion just happening at once, I feel happy, sad, angry, hopeless, love, I thought I was dying, the horror of death are approaching to me, I'm at the border of alive and death, I did not let go fully, I just let go 30%, and next was magical I enter into a very strange state of consciousness , the supriseness feeling that suddenly arise,i was genuinely suprise that I found myself "congratulation, look who you have you found, it's me, I am you" The trip goes full celebration mode, balloon and party visual appearing, I was in total bliss, its like the first time you find out who you truly are! And next was super mind blown, I was directly conscious about how I manifest my own reality, I am literally imaginating my own existence, i heard Leo said God is imaginating everything,I think a lot of time I just don't get it, but this time I verified the statement, witness the truth. I'm conscious about all these enlightenment guru, it's all me trying to make myself fully realize my true being, it was super weird. And the trip coming down I come back to my ordinary state, felt a little bit different, I will take some time to digest the experience, hopefully the next time I'm able to get full insight Thanks for reading and pardon my English

@TheSource It wasn’t my question, but it was a better question than what I originally asked. I did lose my mind. But I was feeling so much bliss and euphoria. But that could also be just mania. Now I doubt I had an awakening. I never felt like I was god. I did feel deeply interconnected to everyone and everything. Thank you for responding. @Seraphim lol thank you for confirming that I was indeed psychotic. @Nahm

Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here! Man, oh man, oh man... How do I even fucking start this one... This was by far our most intense, magical, wild, euphoric and mind-blowing experience together. J and I went all the fucking way. Even though we've been having sex for a couple of weeks now. We definitely pierced through all the layers of reality. But in a way different than I initially thought we would... That's the whole sweetness of it. This... was a full-blown sex marathon. And more. Much, much more. Build - up As usual; J comes over late at night. Almost 1AM. She's been out with the girls. I could tell she was so happy she had no stupid boyfriend to nag her about who's she with, when is she coming home, what is she wearing, etc... She texted me she's going to be late and I responded with 'take your time'. She came earlier than I expected. Rocking one of her hot summer dresses. My dick instantly responds - as soon as our lips connect and our bodies melt into one another. We did not even enter my apartment, and I'm already hard as a rock. In the elevator; we jump on each-other, mercilessly. We could not resist any longer. We were both so hot for each-other. It's been nearly a week now since we last fucked. I'm kissing her gorgeous, tender neck and working those lovely C cups. Grabbing that round, juicy ass. We're making out. Passion is so thick you could cut it with a sword. My hand slips down and I starts playing with her pussy through her panties. God... There is nothing that can make me go this crazy. Only pussy. Especially if it's such a magnificent work of art - as J's lovely little purr is. It's just divine. We arrive to my place, and then take a step back and agree not to fuck each-other's brains out right away, but rather chill and talk a bit first. It was very hard. For both of us. We had to resist and tame the animal within. But.. we know our shit. We handled it well. So, there we are, sitting at the table, talking, smoking and listening to cool music. I believe I was spinnin' some nice psytrance at that point. I also got some bomb-ass-good weed from a guy I met that night, 'accidentally'. The high was just perfect. Not cloudy. Not distorted. Clear and uplifting. Great vibe. Our senses razor-sharp. I don't remember very well what was the content of our conversation. We spoke a little about everything. Again; words come out smooth as butter. Everything is heard, everything is said. We do not jump into each-other's sentences. Or if we do, we laugh and apologize lol. What I really like, is how I can practice true chivalry with her. She knows how to be around a gentleman. That's very rare. But she also know how to chillax. Perfect combo. She talks a bit more this time around. She even expresses a few of her own thoughts on spirituality, reality, God, etc... I liked that. I can tell she's extra - sensory. In tune. She picks up on a lot of stuff 'in the air'. And is kinda in touch with her intuition. She definitely carries the seeds for a fast and deep awakening. But... I kinda lose interest in that topic fast and we're back to fun. We start teasing each-other. Flirting, heavy. She slowly raises her leg up in the air and places it in my lap. I cannot resist her beautiful, silky skin. It's like the finest, gentlest material of the Universe. I immediately start kissing my way up and down her leg. She has such tiny feet. It's adorable. I suck on her fingertips. She giggles. I tickle her a bit, we laugh and then we stand up and start dancing. I insisted. She's not so familiar with 'freestyle dancing'. She's used to following steps. And I don't really roll that way. ...We make it work. And it's very hot. We're both dancing for ourselves and in our unique way, but the beat is holding us together and keeping us in sync. Every now and then our bodies collide in complete harmony and our lips touch. It feels like the essence of intimacy. At this point; an idea crosses my mind. CLIMAX I kinda got bored of psytrance. I wanted a bit slower and a bit darker vibe. A bit more erotic. A bit more slutty. A bit nastier. So I put this on: https://youtu.be/agQJx7qqMbw and tell J to sit in my chair. She's kinda confused for a second but she indeed sits down and remains still, and silent. My chair is a special chair. It has a special kind of vibe to it. Comes with a special view. Tells a special story. I take a few puffs, give J a nice, juicy kiss and hand her over the joint. And now I'm down on my knees, in front of her. The music in the background is giving me just the perfect vibe. I look up into J's eyes and say: ' You had a long day... Why don't you relax a bit?' Her eyes instantly switch from confusion to seduction. She smiles like a naughty little girl that she is, takes a puff and leans back. Time to do my magic. I'm kissing and squeezing her gorgeous, tender thighs. White like snow. Smooth as butter. Her skin smells like the forest, on a rainy, early morning. So fresh. So natural. So divine. I'm peaking up her dress. I can see her sexy, purple panties. They're kinda see-through. My dick wants to explode. I slide my head underneath her dress and start playing with her pussy, through her panties. I kiss, lick and bite the area around. I work her clit with my fingers a bit. I can tell she's getting all hot. I lose no more time. I reach behind her, grab on her panties and start pulling them down. Off they go. My head back under her dress. My fucking God... Words fail me here, completely. Sorry about that. It's one of the - if not The Most Beautiful pussy I've ever seen. So tiny, and feminine, and delicate, and tender and somehow perfectly symmetrical yet abstract... God... I already said too much. It's just divine. My tongue covers her whole pussy. I'm licking slowly but applying a lot of pressure. Long and passion-filled licks. All the way up. All the way down. I'm licking like an obedient dog. Like a loyal servant. J is half sitting, half laying in my chair, her legs wide open, eyes closed and with a joint between her two fingers. Her other hand is pulling on my hair. She's moaning in pure ecstasy. Occasionally bursting into laughter out of sheer joy and pleasure. She is being treated as a true Queen. I eat her out like this a bit more. I give it my all. And that's a lot. Especially for a girl like J, who's not used to high quality sex. A man who knows what he's doing down there. She's already opening up for me - big time. I slide my one finger inside of her, but the second one quickly joins the play. I massage the insides of her divine temple. I twist and turn all around her sugar-walls. Soon after I lock down on her G spot; J cums. Hard. All over my fingers and tongue. Shaking. Smiling. Catching her breath. She's so surrendered. So satisfied. She does not care about a single thing right now. A single thought does not enter her mind. It's all just ecstasy - throughout her whole being. And that... that is exactly what I wanted. That is exactly what I am all about. I want the women I have sex with to have an unforgettable experience with me. To reach heights they never even knew existed. To feel things they never even dreamed were possible. That's my 'mission' - if you will. Pretty much all the time I'm sleeping with a girl. Especially if I'm really into her. If she reaches Heaven - so do I. I simply aim to please. And so does J. It's a mind-blowing combo. I slide my shorts down - still on my knees. I knew J wanted to suck me, hard. She always wants to return me the favour immediately... But I was cool with skipping BJ, for now. I wanted to thrust myself into her. To be inside of her, whole. I wanted to merge with her. She lays even lower down on my chair and spreads her legs even more. She can't wait for it. She wants me inside of her just as much. She is craving my dick, bad. Her peachy, round butt is now half in the air. My hands reach out and grab those gorgeous butt-cheeks on first impulse. Fuck. There is just something ineffable about entering her. Every fucking time. It always feels like it's for the very first time - for both of us. It's just otherworldly. So intense. So dreamy. So hot. I tease her for a few more moments - giving it my last remaining strength to hold back and resist the urge. I play with her pussy a bit. Spit on it. I slide my tip up and down. But I do not enter. It's driving her crazy. I place the tip on her clit and start shaking my dick like mad, with my hand. Causing a massive vibration. She goes nuts. Loses it completely. It's time. I'm going in, now! I'm in fast and I'm in hard. A few very loud moans, almost screams escape her lovely little mouth. This position is perfect. It gives me full access. I can hit all the angles flawlessly. I'm fucking her like a wild beast. I feel like a lion feasting on its pray. But somehow, in this case, the pray is actually enjoying it. It's so primal. So natural. So real. Nothing mechanic or calculated about it. It's all free-flowing, natural, spontaneous, weightless. It's all just NOW. We fuck for some time like this. We make out passionately. I grab on her gorgeous titties and suck on her nipples. It's so good it feels totally unreal. Then, I stand up. My dick is looking directly into her eyes. She knows what I want. She hands me over the joint, grabs on my dick and starts twisting and stroking. The way none before her had the skills to do. What a boss this girl is... Good for her. Really. And good for me, too. She's jerking me off and sucking on the tip of my dick. Creating a vacuum with her mouth. Circling around the tip with her tongue. I mean... You really must be a ninja not to cum right away into her mouth. Especially if you also play with her tits and her long-ass ponytail, at the same time. Thankfully; I am a ninja. I am a ninja that thought the first ninja how to be a ninja. I can handle a little twist and pull. A little tongue action and some vacuum. I'm good. I take a few puffs. She works her magic. And up into the Heavens I ascend. Some time passes, in my 'absence' - if you will, and then I snap back. I stop her and practically force my dick out of her mouth and hands. She was so deeply into it. So completely mesmerized. Taken over. Almost possessed lol. She would've just kept sucking forever - had I not stopped her. I take her hand and pull her up; turning her around right away. Her back pressing hard against my chest. Her butt against my dick. I'm grabbing on her boobs and playing with her clit. We're making out. I lift up her dress, spread her butt-cheeks and thrust my dick into her from behind. She coughs a bit again. But is loving it too, clearly. I fuck her real good. The sound of her juicy little butt slamming against my thighs is just too good. We're locked into a steady tempo. A nice rhythm. We're both sweating quite a bit. It's a very hot, summer night. I lift her one leg and put it on the chair. That gives me nice access. I'm hitting it from an angle. My fingers circling her clit. I slap and squeeze her bubble-but. Perfection. Soon we were both out of breath and out of energy. You must understand that this is some serious business. Hardcore cardio workout. We are fucking like pros here lol. It takes a lot to create this kind of an experience. And this level of hype. We stand by the window to cool down a bit and catch our breath. The night is just beautiful. Everyone is sleeping. All is silent. The moon and the stars look absolutely dreamy. We laugh and talk a bit. We agree to keep having sex the whole night, and take a few breaks in-between each round. Can a man ask for more? We're both in a bubble of complete and total ecstasy, obviously. We're like little children on Christmas morning. About to go crazy all over those presents. It's amazing. I put on this album; https://youtu.be/AyORieDhpkg , and here we go. Round 2. We're on my bed, in missionary. Fuck, man. I'm really running out of words here. I cannot describe you how in-sync we were. How well she follows my lead. How tightly she holds on to me when we're shooting off to the stars. She's totally immersed. We're both having the same experience - in that sense. She's not elsewhere or detached or numbed out. She's 100% in it, with me. We're in the same spaceship coupe. And there's only room for two. It truly feels like a galactic journey. At some point; I'm fucking her in this lower doggy style position, her arms behind her back, face down on the bed. I pull out the handcuffs and lock them around her tender wrists. I start being more aggressive and pull on the handcuffs. I slap her ass harder a few times. But... I quickly notice the vibe is getting a bit off. She tells me I locked the handcuffs too tightly and her wrists are hurting. She kinda gets a bit uncomfortable and awkward. I quickly calm her, apologise to her and unlock the handcuffs. I throw them on the night shelf. I just did not want to ruin the magic of the night with that shit. Clearly; this girl is not into BDSM, or anything like that. She does not seek pleasure in pain lol. So it would be kinda lame to force anything on her... Plenty of little sluts out there who love that kind of shit. I'll save that side of me for them. For now; I'm way more than satisfied with what I've got going on with J. I miss no handcuffs, ropes, tapes or whips, one bit. It feels perfect the way it is. Clean and absolutely mind-blowingly magical. So... long story short... We fuck hard. She cums many times. I stopped counting at 6 or 7. We ended up doing all kinds of weird-ass positions. Most of which I really do not know how to accurately describe. One position stood out for both of us though. We repeated it many times that night. And the next day, too. It's basically missionary, but her knees are touching and are all the way up and against her boobs. I'm leaning on her legs, grabbing her hips and ass, and hitting it hard. It's such a clear-cut access point. The angle is just perfect. I noticed she cums extra hard if I grab her tight around her hips, just before she cums. I came to know her quirks and features quite well 'till now. She knows how to push my buttons pretty good, too. It's great. I realized she, and probably every other woman too, cums much easier and much harder if I do not participate in her game of chasing the orgasm. I do not adjust to her when I notice she's trying to cum. I simply keep doing my thing. Holding a steady and on-point tempo. Not deviating. And if I do accelerate; I do it kinda in a way like I don't care about what's going on with her. I'm the captain of my ship. I let her steer her ship. She got all excited about how effortlessly she can cum now. Maybe even a bit too excited. She wanted to cum every 5 minutes lol. I, however, was holding back the whole night. On purpose. I did not want to cum 'till the end. Right before we collapse and fall asleep. She was kinda mad about it haha. In a very cute way. She's just the most adorable, innocent little thing. But she sucks and fucks like a wild hyena. I knew if I came two or three times, my orgasms would not be so intense. But if I let that one orgasm build up for a few hours... I will explode like a fucking volcano. Giving birth to an entire new planet. An ecosystem. A civilization. That's how hard I can cum. So basically... that's what has been going on the whole night... We fuck. We go on an epic, galactic journey, we land, take a break, smoke, talk, laugh, listen to awesome music and then repeat. A very cool thing that stood out though, was during one of those breaks. I came up with the idea to play chess, and was surprised when she said she loved to play. I was pretty ok with getting my ass kicked by her. I know she excels in logic, strategy, etc. She was very excited, too. I decided to just roll with it. To feel into the play. I did not want to strategize too much. But I did not want to just let her win, either. Obviously. It was an epic battle, but I checkmated the crap out of her. It was a beautiful, clean checkmate. But it was not that easy. She definitely put up a good fight. We both enjoyed the fuck out of it. We only played one round. I'm sure it lasted well over 30 minutes. We agreed to definitely play some more in the future. Just. Epic. Soon enough we're fucking again to God-knows what music. She loves when I sync in with the tempo of the song. I adjust my thrusts and moves to the dynamic of the music. She's literally being fucked by music. She loves when I'm on top of her and I move my ass round and round. Nice, circular motions. She's grabbing my ass. Then plays with her pussy hard and nasty, and cums all over my dick. I do not stop. I stick to the rhythm. I'm locked into a groove and it feels like eternity. Just fucking unbelievable. She shakes uncontrollably. She expected me to stop, I know. But I would not. Nothing can stop me now. Only a mind-blowing, godlike, never-before-felt orgasm. And indeed I cum. Like a fucking volcano. Like a fucking God. It felt like The Big Bang - I kid you not. I was smart enough to know beforehand not to cum in her throat this time. I'd definitely kill the poor thing. She'd choke to death. It was a massive load. Very, very heavy. Releasing that into her mouth would be a bit over the line. Even for a nasty dude like me. Anyhow; I came like a boss and all over her ass and pussy - while she was riding me, in that special position I mentioned in earlier posts. We cuddled a bit and then passed out. She slept on my chest. It was way past 8AM when I last looked at the clock. We pretty much fucked for 6+ hours! Say what now?! We totally lost track of time. My room was completely dark. Led lights under my bed, and the TV. That's all. No other source of light. And most importantly; no sunrise to ruin the party lol. Time was out the door the moment we met that night. And it remained out. We slept for a few hours. 5 or 6 I think. We woke up with a big smile on our faces. All happy and bubbly and shit. It was awesome. Not an ounce of weirdness in the air. This whole time. We fucked again, then took a shower and ordered in some yummy food. I suggested we should watch Pixar's 'Soul'. I heard good things about it, mainly here on the forum. It was a very good choice. It's a beautiful animation. Our hearts melted, obviously. We were both open, vulnerable, intimate. We were deeply connected. Our hearts pouring out with love. You could see the spark in our eyes. So... is this love? Are we in love with each-other here? Well, of course we are. But does that mean we must be in a relationship? Well, of course it does not. We are simply two very loving and very lovable beings. Of course we love. We love ourselves and how we feel in our skins. We love how we can make each-other feel. We love all that deep pleasure, excitment, ecstasy, euphoria, bliss... All that jazz. We love how hot the other one is and how good we can fuck. We love how good we can talk and laugh and hang out. So yeah. This is love. And a very, very pure and high form of it - I'd say. There is little to no ego involved in here. We are both very, very selfless in our acts. We aim to please the other, primarily. But... does that mean we should get married and have kids together? Absolutely not. Of course not. We have an agreement. That's it. Sex and hanging out, only. Period. Thankfully; we are both mature and intelligent enough to respect that agreement. We both have access to common sense lol. Healthy and reasonable thinking. We know how to handle this stuff and not get burned. Or so it seems - so far. Long story short; we pretty much repeated the whole night, right after watching 'Soul'. You bet your ass we did. We were still way too hot for each-other. And we were both having a day off. No responsibilities whatsoever. A Sunday well spent - I'd say. We fucked, we chilled, we laughed. It was amazing. The only downside being that my dick started getting real sore towards the end. No wonder... We fucked like animals for God-knows how many hours. And her pussy is as tight as ever. So yeah - I definitely crossed the line a bit. To my surprise though; she was not hurting. Not even the slightest. Hm... Weird. I thought her pussy would be burning like hell by now. Maybe that's just the echoes of my past. We cuddle some more, she gives me a nice little massage, then we clean up and she finally leaves my apartment around 9PM. I immediately collapse back onto my bed and sleep 'till next morning. Like a baby. If that's not a fucking marathon, then I don't know what the fuck is. Final Thoughts: I knew things were only going to become better and better, and still, I was blown the fuck away by the experience. It completely swept me off my feet. I loved noticing how for a certain period in the beginning of the night I tried to plan my next move, in my mind. But soon enough there was no more time for that BS, and I just improvised everything, beautifully. I surrendered fully to the NOW. I followed the trail of excitement. It was indeed magical. Regarding me and J - things seem perfect. No one is stepping over the line. No one is expressing any form of neediness or unhealthy attachment. The air is clear. We communicate minimally over text. Mainly setting up our next date and getting each-other hot. Pretty much nothing outside of that. I like it, very much. No complaints. Overall; one of the best - if not the best night (and day) of epic sex in my life. Hardly anything can top this. It all comes down to flavour at these heights. It's like... what colour would you like your dream car to be? That's what I mean. You're already getting the best of what you want. It's just about preferences and style now. ...In any case; I hope to see J sticking around for quite a bit longer. She's definitely some top notch fuck buddy material. I'm sure she's great wifey material too. But I'm not interested in that. I just want to keep fucking her brains out for some time. However; my dick needs to rest now. It already feels much better today, but I'm not fully healed yet. I need at least two or three days of rest now. We do not have another date set yet.

This all took place yesterday on Sunday. I had been feeling more depressed/unmotivated than usual and was sitting in my living room listening to music with a good friend and having a few beers. My roommate ended up organizing a party with some girls and other friends that we know and invited us. We debated on going because we both felt down but decided to go open ourselves to the experience and party with our friends. We get there and everyone is drinking and having a good time. I know most people there with only a couple of girls that I've never seen before. The host randomly pulls out a bag of shrooms and starts offering some to everyone. I have done plenty of psychedelics in the past(shrooms, acid, DMT) but I had been taking a break for the last few months and didn't think doing them at a party after having drank a few beers was a particularly great idea. A girl sitting next to me told me she'd never done them before but she's down to try and asks me to take some with her. I let the thought sit in my head and for some reason, my intuition tells me it's actually a good idea so I end up agreeing. We end up taking only half a gram each although I get the heads and she gets the stem part. The trip ended up being really intense and ridiculously deep for only having taken half a gram. I've taken around 3-4g before and it felt relatively close in intensity, not sure if it was because of the alcohol or just my state of mind but it hit strong. The first little while was relatively mild, just tripping and vibing to the music. Then the shrooms really started talking to me. I started to notice the social nuances at play in the room, like a guy hitting on some girls and them not being into it and their body language was really easy for me to read while tripping. This is where I start to mentally talk to the shrooms or my ego, hard to tell which. I feel like the world is melting together and individual human beings are merged into just visual and audio output basically. The music starts speaking to me and everything starts getting very synchronized. I start thinking about my bad habits(drinking and vaping) and then the song Toxic by Britney Spears comes on. Then I go back and forth between feeling like the shrooms are judging me for my toxic behaviors and being really happy and feeling like I'm making progress in life and the universe is with me. It feels like the people around me are responding to the thoughts I'm having. As I start to wonder if I look normal, people make eye contact with me and ask me how I'm doing. As I'm thinking about a girl and how nice she looks, she walks over and stands right in front of me. As I'm hesitating to talk to her it feels like the shrooms are pushing me to do it but I'm overwhelmed and decided mentally not to and she immediately walks away and starts talking to another guy. A bit later in the night, a girl starts to look a bit distraught, she's part of the ones that took shrooms. The voice in my head tells me to go over and take care of her. Immediately as I walk up to her she asks me if I can help her get an uber home and find her friend. That seems like a lot of responsibility at the time(still high as balls) but the voice in my head tells me to reassure and tell her that her friend's fine. I start overthinking and wondering how I could possibly know where and if her friend was fine and what to do about this situation. Literally, two seconds after her friend comes back walking through the front door but a random guy started talking to the original girl but I could tell that she really just wanted to find her friend and go home so I tap her on the shoulder, say "hey I found your friend!", bring her away from the guy and to her friend and just as I do she starts kinda freaking out and being overwhelmed so it was the perfect timing. I'm really curious if you guys have also experienced something similar while on psychedelics or if I'm tripping out. It literally feels like my thoughts and the world become one and the world can read my thoughts and responds to them. Both really comforting and really creepy. I have to stop myself from fully believing it and kinda fact-checking it because it's very overwhelming and feels like a psychotic break almost; like everything is a pattern that speaks to me. The messages are usually really profound but perhaps sometimes corrupted by my ego and that's where it leads to strange conclusions. What do you guys make of this and have you guys had similar experiences? Also am I the only one that feels like shrooms are both really good but aggressive, almost like they tease you? Anyway, weird but really amazing experience. Glad I ended up taking them, just was really confused and overwhelmed afterward and still processing it but nothing to complain about and I definitely had blasts of bliss that felt shockingly beautiful but also confusing and overwhelming haha

GODDESS BHAVANI: In Hindu mythology, Goddess Bhavani is considered to be the violent incarnation of Goddess Shakti or Devi. Notwithstanding she is also Karunaswaropini and ‘karunai’means mercy. As such she is one filled with mercy in the shades of Durga and Kali’s sentiments over Her devotees. Adi Shankara’s says it all in his Bhavani Ashtakam in pure and simple words. Bhavani’s other names bring various meanings. Bhavani Devi also personifies Aadi Parashakti. The bhava of Bhavani is the internal power of Lord Shiva. In that sense Bhavani is Mother Parvathi. Bhavani is also the source of creative energy. She is also known as Tulaja, Turaja, Tvarita and Amba. In Gujarat she takes the form of Keshar Bhavani. Goddess Bhavani is also considered as swayambhu or self-born when venerated as Lord Siva’s consort. According to Adi Shankaracharya, devotees who recite Bhavani’s name everyday with true devotion, will not acquire sorrow, illness, unexpected death. Bhavani is the goddess invoked by women in labor. The ritual was to burn perfume in her honor. As Mother, Bhavani overseas the welfare of women and her children. DEVI BHAGAVATAM states that Bhavani Devi is the original form of Aadhi Parashakti. She is sister to Sri Krishna. Maha Vishnu does penance to seek Devi’s aid for to Krishna avatar. As a result, Devi is born to Yasodha as Krishna’s sister. In the Tamil tradition Bhavani Devi in her personification is known as Magamaaye. 'Maga' is the corruption 'Maha' meaning great. 'Ayi' means mother or grandmother. Thus she is the Great Mother. Goddess Bhavani symbolises her links with Vishnu and Krishna by holding a Sanghu – conch and Chakra. In all the implications are a brother-sister relationship with Sri Vishnu's avatars Sri Krishna. LALITHA SAHASRANAMAM: Also known as Rahsya Nama Sahasra, purports that Bhavani is the Deity that always helps devotees and gives Mukti.. Lalitha Sahasranamam Stotram appears in Brahmanda Purana in the chapter of discussion between Sage Agasthya and Hayagriva, the incarnation of Lord Vishnu with the horse head. At his request of sage Agastya, Hayagreeva taught him Lalita Sahasranamam Stotram or the most holy 1000 names of Goddess Lalitha, the Goddess of bliss. DEPICTION: The Goddess Bhavani has eight arms in which she holding weapons, bearing the head of the slain. The lowermost right hand holds a trident, the next one holds a dagger, above this an arrow and the uppermost right hand wields the chakra. The uppermost left hand holds a shankh, next one a bow, the third one carries a bowl and the lower most left band holds the granny knot of bare on the head of the asur. The right leg of Goddess Bhavani is planted firmly on the body of Mahishasur and left one is on the ground. Between these two legs, the head of the asur is gripped by lower left arm. The Vahana of Goddess Bhavani is a Lion and on the backrest carved the sun and the moon on left and right sides of the Devi. BHAVANI TEMPLE IN TULJAPUR: This is the second among the 'Shaktipeeths'. The Tulja Bhavani of Tuljapur contains the family deity of the Bhosale kings. Shivaji always visited the temple to seek her blessings. It is believed that the Goddess gifted him a sword - 'the Bhawani sword' - for success in his expeditions. Maurya warriors are from the Suryavansha or solar clan. Goddess Bhavani is their Kuadaivat or clan deity. The temple origins are traced back from mythology. The demon Matanga wreaked havoc upon devas and humans. They approach Brahma for relieving from this predicament. Brahma in turn approached Mother Goddess Shakti. As Bhavani, Mother takes the form of Destroyer. Together with the Sapta Maataas, Varahi, Brahmi, Vaishnavi, Kaumari, Indrani and Saambhavi, Mother vanquished the demon. Bhavani also vanquished Mahishasura who took the form of a wild buffalo. Thereafter she took abode on the Yamunachala hill. SKANDA PURANA: History of the Tuljapur Temple is mentioned in the Skanda Purana. There was a sage known as "Kardam" After his death his wife "Anubuti" had performed a penance at the banks of river "mandakini " for Bhavani mata to look after her infant child. While performing the penance the demon known "Kukur" tried to disturb her penance during which Mata Bhavani came to the aid of "Anubuti" and killed the demon "Kukur". From that day onwards the Goddess Bhavani came to be known as Tulja Bhavani. The Tuljapur Temple is on the slopes of the Sahadri range in Maharashtra near Sholapur. The temple has a history since the 12th century. Here Goddess Bhavani is depicted uniquely with a beautiful smiling face. It is said that the face of Sati had fallen in Tuljapur because of which the goddess is decorated in such a way that only her face is visible after covering her with sarees and ornaments. She has no clothes carved on her upper body. The goddess is asta-bhuja in the styles of Durga with eight hands. As Parvati, she has a self-manifested swayambhu Shiv-lingam in her crown with flowing from it. She has an arrow holder on her back. Her victory over Mahishasur represented by the sun and moon. The lion vahana stands near her. The idol is self manifested and movable. It is moved three times a year from its place to the bedroom of Maa Bhavani. Below the lion, sage Markandeya is chanting the durga-saptashati shlokas. NAVARATHRI: Goddess Shakti is worshipped in her nine forms. These Goddesses are also revered independently but Mother worship has its essence in Mother Shakti or Mother Aadhi Parashakti. Navarathri Goddesses: (1) Goddess Durga – Also known as Maa Durga is an embodiment of creative feminine force and is regarded as "the invincible" one. (2) Goddess Bhadrakali – Goddess Bhadra Kali is one of the most popular forms of the Goddess Shakti as mentioned in Devi Mahatmyam. (3) Goddess Amba - Also known as Jagadamba is another form of Goddess Shakti and is regarded as the Mother of the universe (4) Goddess Annapurna – Also known as Annapoorna is an avatar of the Divine Mother and is the Goddess of Harvests. Anna literally means food and grains and “Purna” means complete or full. Hence Goddess Annapurna is the one who bestows food in plenty. (5) Goddess Sarvamangala – Another form of Goddess Shakthi. As Sarvamangala, Devi bestows joy (mangal) to everything (sarva). (6) Goddess Bhairavi – Bhairavi is a fierce form of the Goddess. Devi took this avatar when she became the consort of the Bhairava.(7) Goddess Chandika – Also known as Chandi or Durga Sapthashati Chandika is the supreme Goddess of Devi Mahatmya. Goddess Chandi is described as the Supreme reality, who is a combination of Maha Lakshmi, Mahakali, and Maha Saraswati. (8) Goddess Lalita – Also known as Shodashi, Rajarajeshvari, or Tripura Sundari, Goddess Lalitha is one of the group of Ten Goddesses of Hindu belief, collectively called mahavidyas. (9) Goddess Bhavani - Bhavani literally means "giver of life" is a ferocious form of the Goddess Parvati Devi. (10) Goddess Mookambika - On the 10th day of Navarathri festival, Goddess Shakti is worshipped as Mookambika Devi, the manifestation of Goddess Shakti, Saraswathi and Mahalakshmi. BHAVANI BHUJANGAM: ‘Bujangam’ means body. Bhavani Bujangam is composed by Adi Shankaracharya praising the glorious beauty of Goddess Bhavani from ‘head to toe’. Shankara also stated that by repeating the holy names of Bhavani with pure devotion, one would attain salvation and get rid of sorrow, passion, sin and fear. BHAVANI ASHTAKAM composed by Adi Shakraracharya: Neither the mother nor the father, Neither the relation nor the friend, Neither the son nor the daughter, Neither the servant nor the husband, Neither the wife nor the knowledge, And neither my sole occupation, Are my refuges that I can depend, Oh, Bhavani, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani. I am in this ocean of birth and death, I am a coward, who dare not face sorrow, I am filled with lust and sin, I am filled with greed and desire, And tied I am, by the this useless life that I lead, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani. Neither do I know how to give, Nor do I know how to meditate, Neither do I know Thanthra, Nor do I know stanzas of prayer, Neither do I know how to worship, Nor do I know the art of yoga, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani Know I not how to be righteous, Know I not the way to the places sacred, Know I not methods of salvation, Know I not how to merge my mind with God, Know I not the art of devotion, Know I not how to practice austerities, Oh, mother, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani Perform I bad actions, Keep I company of bad ones, Think I bad and sinful thoughts, Serve I Bad masters, Belong I to a bad family, Immersed I am in sinful acts, See I with bad intentions, Write I collection of bad words, Always and always, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani. Neither Do I know the creator, Nor the Lord of Lakshmi, Neither do I know the lord of all, Nor do I know the lord of devas, Neither do I know the God who makes the day, Nor the God who rules at night, Neither do I know any other Gods, Oh, Goddess to whom I bow always, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani While I am in a heated argument, While I am immersed in sorrow, While I am suffering an accident, While I am travelling far off, While I am in water or fire, While I am on the top of a mountain, While I am surrounded by enemies, And while I am in a deep forest, Oh Goddess, I always bow before thee, So you are my refuge and my only refuge, Bhavani While being an orphan, While being extremely poor, While affected by disease of old age, While I am terribly tired, While I am in a pitiable state, While I am being swallowed by problems, And While I suffer serious dangers, I always bow before thee, So you are my refuge and only refuge, Bhavani Jai Maa Bhavani

I decided to give the Osho Dynamic Meditation a try today, it's been on my list for quite some time. While I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with that, I want to address a specific feeling which came up during the meditation: For those who don't know, you go absolutely crazy in different ways for 30 minutes before you completely freeze for 15 minutes. The onset feeling reminded me a lot of the Kriya Yoga experiences I made a while ago (not practicing at the moment). The immense stillness and clarity that radiates to infinity, the silence.... powerful stuff. After about 10 minutes though, I felt a pain arising in my chest, where usually I only know the perfect bliss of love. My mind started to enter because I first thought it to be a physical pain - either my lung (still a bit ailing) or my heart. It got ever more intense and a terror started to build up. My mind came up with thoughts of maybe getting a heart attack any second. But why would that happen? I could allow this feeling to a good extend because of my hyper aware state and my willingness to allow everything to be. But this pain... I remembered that this is the pain I know from 5-MeO, from DMT, and even from weed when the fear of death would come up. This pain and the accompanying fear became so intense that I got nauseaus and eventually laid down before the time of this phase was over. I'm still not sure about the nature of this pain, but it brought up such existential terror that I can only imagine it to be a deeply seated pain at the heart of separation. Very interesting. In the next phase, where you dance, sing, talk to yourself with love, I recognized that not only the pain and fear were present, but also intense feelings of guilt and abandonment. I attended to these feelings with love and curiosity - this was very healing, but it feels like the wound has just opened. This stuff is so fascinating to me - that a few minutes of this work can get one to such a point, without even a psychedelic. Looking forward to keep exploring. I feel many will know this specific pain in the heart area, since even for me it was not new, just suppressed for a while. What are your experiences with it, your insights and healing journeys?

So yesterday i absolutely awoken myself as God, the Creator of all of my dream. I become conscious there wasnt any other than me ever. It was shocking because i actually remembered that i had awoken when i was 19-20 years old when i took lsd some times for the first time, withouth knowing at all What was God/non duality etc, But i was in such a Bliss for almost over a year. The Avatar was just not conscious of What that state meant. But as Consciousness i was awake i let go of the identity of for over a year . It was so funny because after awakening and being in that no ego state for almost a year, the ego formed again and It started to create an ideology of "non duality", and of course as God i started to create Actualized, Mooji, The concept of "awareness", and of course i thought the absolute/God was something outside me that i had to "get". I also imagined 5-meo-dmt as breadcrump to remember again What i had forgotten. The astonishment when i realized that i created every detail of the dream is truly jawdropping. And What NOW?? Remember that i am always Now, Able to Create whatever i want! Whenever i start to fall away into the belief i am a thought, i just touch my hands, i say out loud I AM HERE I AM HERE, AWAKE! THIS is what's real, Truth! What do i create? I choose Love, Power and Joy, this is my dream ??️?

What’s really nice about my path now is that even though I come from my heart chakra I’m very grounded and have a constant flow of energy from the lower chakras + my heart chakra. It’s not just my heart chakra taking control, throwing me ungrounded into the beauty of reality. I’ve experienced that, it’s nice but has no substance for me. Doesn’t guide, just insights someone. The first post of mine wasn’t grounded any bit whatsoever, how I needed that release of everything I’ve been holding in. It’s funny how we just keep growing. Sometimes the suffering is the greatest teacher. We may hate, we may love, it really doesn’t matter. As long as you experienced what you were meant to and understand that “now” can be anything, pain, bliss, and it’s all perfect. Neither is better than the other. My path wasn’t easy but I’d never want it to be. There is a love in the pain. A sorrow in the love. A craving, an insight.

@NoSelfSelf Thank you, so by a game you mean we are in charge of the importance we give to things, and thus also in control of the amount of suffering or bliss we experience, is that the extent of our freedom in this life ?

@Leo Gura @7thLetter Hey, don't be discriminating against extraverts guys, just because ya'll feel drained being in social situations. but honestly that's true, when I'm alone I feel insane and depressed, but when I find someone to talk to you, I get all jazzed up and my self-esteem starts flying with the roof when I'm with my friends, it's because extraverts get eachother siked up, and it gives us this high sort of bliss and can accomplish amazing things that just one lone introvert couldn't. But being an introvert is great, because you can think clearly by yourself without having to manage all the ideas flying around. But, don't ever ponder the idea for one second that extraverts can't self-actualize. We just love People, that's the bottom line.

There's really different aspects to what you are speaking of. First we have something of a desire that isn't satisfied with the physical, it's the spiritual churning one might call it. Once we have found contentment in just being present we experience no lacking and realize we are complete so the churning ceases. In this we are fulfilled with as it is and experience transcendent well being. Which brings me to the activities of life, if we approach them already fulfilled and all the joy of being that is expressed through us then we bring joy to the activity not seek joy from the activity. Our joy isn't dependent on the activity and it's acumen or accomplishment. This sort of orientation allows one to recognize which of the activities in life we do that actually resonates with our joy so it reflects it back. It feels as if joy is amplified by things that resonate with our transcending joy even though in liberation we experience a complete sense of well being and bliss once the spiritual churning ceases so it is already maxed out in us. This doesn't mean we stop doing the things we love, we actually have a complete joy we bring to them so can elevate the activity. Of course since that joy isn't dependent on them the struggles and challenges to refine them are steeped in the genuine joy of liberation not conditional appeasement of the self. I know the intuitive perspective would be to say that the spiritual path would also require alot of effort but the reality of it can be quite counter intuitive. Just being doesn't require any work at all, realizing that transcendent fulfillment in being present is the absence of attainment, it's recognizing already complete. So working hard to refine skill will allow one to achieve each next level but doing it while being present in realized completeness and fulfillment is an experience of joy that cannot be described though once one does experience it then it is understood.

Leo always says that God can dream all sorts of things. an infinite number of possibilities. But I think God is also limited. I mean God is still infinite but its other features limit its infinity. Like Love and intelligence limit the possibilities that God can imagine. Here is a quote from Leo's episode " why God forgives devilry"\ "infinite consciousness can can construct its own physical material hell if it wants to because it's infinite creative potential infinite creative potential means that you can imagine atoms molecules cells creatures aliens angels devils it can dream all sorts of nightmares it can dream bliss realms of beautiful sex and food and whatever other material pleasures you desire money vacations anything the universe can literally imagine anything because it is pure infinite imagination" @Leo Gura what do you mean by if it wants to? Does God dream all these things? or it is not possible as God is limited by its own self?

Well its interesting...your not wrong in the sense that imagination literally is reality. Which is precisely what a dream is. Inside the dream you cannot tell the difference between real and imaginary because there is nothing to contrast it with. However if your state of consciousness changed in which you stepped outside that entire reality, only then would it be seen as imaginary. And then you might wonder - well can you then step to another level of consciousness and step outside of that? And the answer there is no because that is Infinity. You can perhaps reach infinitely higher infinite states but at this point you are God Consciousness or Absolute Consciousness. This is what all the sages discuss- Absolute Divinity- Absolute Love - Divine Bliss- Nirvana - Death, Oneness, Truth, etc... That is not imagination - that is the thing (actually nothing) that imagines!. Now note here I am just pointing to it. The Tao is not the Tao, or something like that. Now, Maybe I'm full of shit and imagining ALL Of THAT!! but hey maybe I'm not? So of course Mario inside the dream can be told by someone that hey this is all a video game, and if he is open enough he can say yeah sure - so if it is but I am imagining its real then what's the difference? It IS real isn't it? And of course he would be right

I've actually made a lot of progress by switching my mindset in meditation towards accepting and loving everything that arises. But I still haven't managed to fully accept and experience the bliss and awesomeness from my peak psych trips. Like last night i managed to accept myself to the point where feelings of disgust came up, and based on my past trips if I can go into the sensation of disgust there is a great relief and release that comes from going deeper and transcending disgust, but I ended up avoiding the sensation and just patting myself on the back for going so deep. It just seems so simple, so when I can't do it i get frustrated. Like accept what is=happiness. But I still find myself here suffering and not enjoying what is.

I was just thinking, that ny country´s name means also "border". What a bliss it is to feel so connected to the place of birth. We will be fine - me and my country.

@erik8lrl Not cried, but there are certain movie scenes or songs that touch me deeply and it feels close to bliss. I've had incredible blissful experiences on psychidelics and it seemed to come from a deep acceptance of reality and dropping judgment, but I can't do this stuff at will. I have a tendency to suppress any crying that comes up. There have been more and more moments at work where I think of something and I get a bit teary eyed, but my immediate response is to cover it up and hide it.

@RendHeaven I mean that I don't feel a deep joy, bliss, etc about my life. Like I want to love my life, and experience it as amazing but I currently don't. If I am a loving person right now, then I want something better than love haha

Relative vs. Absolute Truth I’m watching Leo’s latest video Relative vs. Absolute truth. I always like to see if Leo’s Teaching meshes with that of The Diamond Approach. It usually does. Quite often they mesh pretty well. Because Absolute Truth has a listing of excerpts in the glossary, this would be a good time to see if there are any discrepancies. I haven’t found any. If anyone does find discrepancies, let us know. Arising of Relative Truth is Dependent Upon and in Response to One’s Personal History and the Present Situation The kind of objective truth that I have just described is not what is usually called ultimate truth in most spiritual traditions. But in our approach, when we talk about finding the truth, we include this kind of truth. I call it relative truth. By relative I don’t mean that different people will experience the same phenomenon differently. For example, what I feel as sadness, another person will not feel as hatred; if another person feels what I’m feeling, he or she will feel sad. It is relative truth because its arising is dependent upon and in response to one’s personal history and the present situation. It is the truth we find in the conventional dimension of experience. So, in the previous example, the sadness is an objective phenomenon, but it is dependent on my present experience, in the sense that it arises in response to specific conditions of this time and place. As those conditions change, the truth will change, which makes it relative. Furthermore, another person will likely have another phenomenon or feeling under similar circumstances, because each person’s experience is dependent on personal predispositions and history. It is easy to see this when we look at percepts such as sadness, anger, or love. These simple percepts always arise embedded in specific circumstances, and they are easy to agree upon as being objective truth. The same is true of actions, reactions, and behaviors; it’s easy to see what an angry reaction or a loving response is, for example. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 345 At the Beginning of Inquiry, what You are Exploring is Relative Truth The exact nature of basic knowledge can be understood more precisely when we consider essential experience. At the beginning of inquiry, what you are exploring is relative truth, the truth of conventional experience. In the territory of relative truth, the fact that whatever you are experiencing is basic knowledge is not strikingly obvious yet. You do experience sadness and sensations, but you are still not recognizing those perceptions as knowledge, or knowingness, because of the dichotomy of observer and observed. Knowledge is still seen as the meaning or insight that you discern from your immediate perceptions. You believe that it is something added to the simple perception. Thus in conventional experience, when you see some relative truth, you end up with insights, and the content of those insights is considered to be knowledge. At some point, however, you come to the recognition of what we call “essential truth.” Essential truth is not an insight about something but the apprehending of the immediate reality of the moment. This immediate reality is presence—the quality of beingness—as when one is experiencing an essential aspect, such as Compassion or Strength. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 80 The Fact of What is Happening The first type or level of truth that we encounter is what we call relative truth. Relative truth is the fact of what is happening, and we call it “relative” because it is specific to the person, the situation, and the time in which the experience is taking place; this means it is constantly changing. For example, the relative truth right now is that you are sitting reading this book, and a while ago the truth was that you were doing something else. The relative truth depends on the situation, and tells us the facts of what is happening now. These truths are the most obvious ones, and are the points of departure for contacting a deeper level of truth. If you inquire more deeply into the relative truth of a situation, you will find that the psychodynamic and existential bases of it begin to reveal themselves. Then, at some point, you might start to experience what we call the essential truth, which is the presence of Essence itself. Facets of Unity, pg. 75 Quotes about Absolute Truth Absolute Truth is Non-Spatial We need to remember that the absolute truth is non-spatial, and hence its inseparability from manifestation inevitably means coemergence. It is inseparable from any of its manifestations and therefore absolutely coemergent with all the manifest dimensions. It pervades everything so completely that there is no region, horizontal or vertical, where it does not reach. In fact, it is this understanding that led us to recognize, in chapter 21, that there is only the absolute. For if it pervades everything absolutely, then there is no region where it does not exist. If anything is not it, then it does not reach there, does not pervade it yet. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 438 Every Aspect, Even those of the Nonconceptual Reality and the Absolute Truth is Integrated Through Successive Steps The perspective we follow in this book is that the human being is born with many and various potentials. The more he actualizes these potentials the more he develops and matures. This process of maturation is the realization of his potentials. Most important of these potentials is Being, with all its aspects and dimensions. Each aspect, even those of the Nonconceptual Reality and the Absolute Truth, is integrated through successive steps: the discovery of the aspect of Being, the permanent realization of this aspect, and the actualization of the aspect, meaning the complete integration of it in one’s human life. Any of these steps can be termed enlightenment. However, each one of them involves the working through of some segment of ego, i.e., complete metabolism of it. This working through can appear as a process or as a sudden realization. Furthermore, the human potential cannot be encompassed by the imagination, for it is ultimately beyond conceptualization. Hence it is not possible to imagine something like the realization and actualization of all human potentials. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 184 Self-realization of the Absolute Truth of Being The student may also come to understand that the love might be passionate and consuming, sweet and heavenly, but even that will tend to separate her somewhat from her beloved, for it relates her to it instead of totally disappearing into it. This only deepens her love to the point of totally annihilating all self-recognition. This precipitates the self-realization of the absolute truth of Being, where she becomes one with this dazzling mystery, totally identified with this luminous, crystal black vastness. The student realizes at this point that she is infinite and boundless, a vastness that has no end. It is as if she becomes the vastness of intergalactic space, seeing that this absolute blackness has a crystalline purity and clarity which make the blackness shimmer and glitter with indescribable brilliance. Her mind explodes into absolute clarity and brilliance, her heart a vastness of annihilating intimacy and bliss, and her body a shimmering which is the appearance of the totality of the universe. The Point of Existence, pg. 423 The Absolute is the Absolute and Final Truth of the Soul and Everything Else The aspect of Truth, for example, functions in helping the soul to discriminate between truth and falsehood, and hence guides her in her life and development towards greater and deeper truth. The deepening experience of Truth opens the soul to the ultimate truth, which is revealed to be the Absolute. In other words, the aspect of Truth reveals itself ultimately to be simply the manifestation of an implicit perfection inherent in the Absolute: The Absolute is absolute Truth. It is the absolute and final truth of the soul and everything else. Therefore, the aspect of Truth functions to provide the soul with the capacity of discrimination necessary for her life and development in the world, but also, and at the same time as it does that, it connects her with the Absolute, revealing it as her ultimate truth. The Point of Existence, pg. 441 The Absolute Truth of Being is Absolute Existence which is, at the Same Time, Absolute Absence of Any Weight or Substance She recognizes that it feels mysterious because she cannot determine its nature, which is absolutely indeterminable. She feels total solidity, a crystalline diamond solidity, but at the same time recognizes that she is absolutely nothing, that she is absence itself. The absolute truth of Being is absolute existence which is at the same time absolute absence. It is the source and essence of everything, but at the same time it is total openness, an absolute absence of any weight or substance. The fact that it is absolute nonexistence gives it its annihilating power. The self feels annihilated because it discovers that its absolute essence is total absence. There is actually no annihilation, only the realization of the selflessness of Being, whose absolute essence is totally ungraspable, completely beyond definition. This indeterminacy is experienced as a paradox of being and nonbeing, existence and nonexistence, neither and not neither. The Point of Existence, pg. 423 The Transition From Pure Consciousness to Absolute Truth is a Spontaneous Process. You Just let Yourself Be We each require different lengths of time to dissolve the habit of assumption and the belief in concepts. Some concepts are easier to abandon than others. But the fundamental idea we have to see through is the concept of being a separate entity. Once that goes, everything else becomes easier. You realize little by little that you don’t experience yourself as a separate person. Although you behave as a person and you do things as a person, you don’t feel that way. The transition from pure consciousness to the absolute truth is a spontaneous process. You just let yourself be. Then the darkness encroaches upon you little by little and you get eaten up. That’s probably why people have so many fears about being eaten up and swallowed whole. Ultimately, we will be consumed. From this perspective, the many things that people say about giving, loving, serving, and sacrificing mean seeing through the entity and all of its attachments. What you surrender is your mind. Being a giving person means not holding on to an entity. Surrender means losing the belief that you are an entity. Service means that being an entity is not the end. All of these are conceptual ways to approach the reality. But, in a sense, the reality cannot be approached, because the moment you approach it, you are already dealing in concepts. You are already taking yourself to be something approaching something else. Reality doesn’t really work that way. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 178 When You Realize the Absolute Truth You Realize that Everything is the Truth When I say that our orientation is to follow truth all the way to the Ultimate Truth, I mean that the inner journey transcends life and death. When we talk about the ultimate or absolute truth, we don’t mean some kind of mysterious thing someplace. In the beginning it might appear that the truth is some kind of distant, mysterious, unknowable thing, maybe at the depth of your heart or at the center of the universe. But the truth is everywhere and is everything. When you realize the absolute truth, you realize everything is the truth. You cannot see that until you realize the Absolute, its reality and its purity. Then you realize there is nothing else. You forget about spiritual experience. You are not spiritual anymore. You become this-worldly instead of otherworldly. You realize that the world is the Absolute. Everything you see is the spirit, the Absolute. There is nothing else. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 150

I get this... But, if I am imagining others and the entire universe this seems like a useless arbitrary limitation. I can't reconcile this idea of me imagining a physical reality and other beings simply to ground myself in reality and then being told some of these things. I have to mature and experience more insights as I do the work. The entire thing seems like an ego. I don't necessarily want infinite power. But, I do want to sing to massive crowds and experience the unity of love with others. That just seems to far away. I know my ego is going nuts tonight. Surrender, liberation and selflessness are likely the only reasonable path. That seems true to me. I know this from 5meodmt experience my state right now is based in ego, limitation and falsehood. But, I also must escape wage slavery because that is worse than death. I also don't agree that power= consciousness. Many leaders like trump have lots of relative power, but low awareness. Perhaps my current interpretation of power is very limited and selfish. I theoretically could have finite power but still be in a reality where I am 'Arcadefire'. I guess, it is really up to me to create it. They are limited just like me, but have a different life. But that is wishful thinking and not reality or actual. I have to mature and face the fucking brutal reality that I am here and no one is going to save my sorry ass. God isn't gonna come from the clouds and make everything okay. It's my own interpretations anyway that make reality what it is. I just... I want infinite love and bliss and heaven. I don't want it to stop. I want to shake the world and DO something. But, I am so limited, selfish, biased, scared, short sighted, distractible etc.. How do I reconcile ambition and surrender? How do I reconcile getting old, going bald etc... But, I also sense as I let go of needing to be successful my drive lowers and I relax more. I don't drive and practice as hard... I have much maturing to do. I still think a lot of your teachings are far too conceptual and I need more reference experiences. TLDR: Overall, my current state is one of egoic attachment and immaturity. I know from my 5meodmt experiences what you are saying is true.

Yeah bro, the bliss is the full acceptance of what is. It's the underlying recognition that it's all well. ❤