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Relative vs. Absolute Truth I’m watching Leo’s latest video Relative vs. Absolute truth. I always like to see if Leo’s Teaching meshes with that of The Diamond Approach. It usually does. Quite often they mesh pretty well. Because Absolute Truth has a listing of excerpts in the glossary, this would be a good time to see if there are any discrepancies. I haven’t found any. If anyone does find discrepancies, let us know. Arising of Relative Truth is Dependent Upon and in Response to One’s Personal History and the Present Situation The kind of objective truth that I have just described is not what is usually called ultimate truth in most spiritual traditions. But in our approach, when we talk about finding the truth, we include this kind of truth. I call it relative truth. By relative I don’t mean that different people will experience the same phenomenon differently. For example, what I feel as sadness, another person will not feel as hatred; if another person feels what I’m feeling, he or she will feel sad. It is relative truth because its arising is dependent upon and in response to one’s personal history and the present situation. It is the truth we find in the conventional dimension of experience. So, in the previous example, the sadness is an objective phenomenon, but it is dependent on my present experience, in the sense that it arises in response to specific conditions of this time and place. As those conditions change, the truth will change, which makes it relative. Furthermore, another person will likely have another phenomenon or feeling under similar circumstances, because each person’s experience is dependent on personal predispositions and history. It is easy to see this when we look at percepts such as sadness, anger, or love. These simple percepts always arise embedded in specific circumstances, and they are easy to agree upon as being objective truth. The same is true of actions, reactions, and behaviors; it’s easy to see what an angry reaction or a loving response is, for example. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 345 At the Beginning of Inquiry, what You are Exploring is Relative Truth The exact nature of basic knowledge can be understood more precisely when we consider essential experience. At the beginning of inquiry, what you are exploring is relative truth, the truth of conventional experience. In the territory of relative truth, the fact that whatever you are experiencing is basic knowledge is not strikingly obvious yet. You do experience sadness and sensations, but you are still not recognizing those perceptions as knowledge, or knowingness, because of the dichotomy of observer and observed. Knowledge is still seen as the meaning or insight that you discern from your immediate perceptions. You believe that it is something added to the simple perception. Thus in conventional experience, when you see some relative truth, you end up with insights, and the content of those insights is considered to be knowledge. At some point, however, you come to the recognition of what we call “essential truth.” Essential truth is not an insight about something but the apprehending of the immediate reality of the moment. This immediate reality is presence—the quality of beingness—as when one is experiencing an essential aspect, such as Compassion or Strength. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 80 The Fact of What is Happening The first type or level of truth that we encounter is what we call relative truth. Relative truth is the fact of what is happening, and we call it “relative” because it is specific to the person, the situation, and the time in which the experience is taking place; this means it is constantly changing. For example, the relative truth right now is that you are sitting reading this book, and a while ago the truth was that you were doing something else. The relative truth depends on the situation, and tells us the facts of what is happening now. These truths are the most obvious ones, and are the points of departure for contacting a deeper level of truth. If you inquire more deeply into the relative truth of a situation, you will find that the psychodynamic and existential bases of it begin to reveal themselves. Then, at some point, you might start to experience what we call the essential truth, which is the presence of Essence itself. Facets of Unity, pg. 75 Quotes about Absolute Truth Absolute Truth is Non-Spatial We need to remember that the absolute truth is non-spatial, and hence its inseparability from manifestation inevitably means coemergence. It is inseparable from any of its manifestations and therefore absolutely coemergent with all the manifest dimensions. It pervades everything so completely that there is no region, horizontal or vertical, where it does not reach. In fact, it is this understanding that led us to recognize, in chapter 21, that there is only the absolute. For if it pervades everything absolutely, then there is no region where it does not exist. If anything is not it, then it does not reach there, does not pervade it yet. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 438 Every Aspect, Even those of the Nonconceptual Reality and the Absolute Truth is Integrated Through Successive Steps The perspective we follow in this book is that the human being is born with many and various potentials. The more he actualizes these potentials the more he develops and matures. This process of maturation is the realization of his potentials. Most important of these potentials is Being, with all its aspects and dimensions. Each aspect, even those of the Nonconceptual Reality and the Absolute Truth, is integrated through successive steps: the discovery of the aspect of Being, the permanent realization of this aspect, and the actualization of the aspect, meaning the complete integration of it in one’s human life. Any of these steps can be termed enlightenment. However, each one of them involves the working through of some segment of ego, i.e., complete metabolism of it. This working through can appear as a process or as a sudden realization. Furthermore, the human potential cannot be encompassed by the imagination, for it is ultimately beyond conceptualization. Hence it is not possible to imagine something like the realization and actualization of all human potentials. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 184 Self-realization of the Absolute Truth of Being The student may also come to understand that the love might be passionate and consuming, sweet and heavenly, but even that will tend to separate her somewhat from her beloved, for it relates her to it instead of totally disappearing into it. This only deepens her love to the point of totally annihilating all self-recognition. This precipitates the self-realization of the absolute truth of Being, where she becomes one with this dazzling mystery, totally identified with this luminous, crystal black vastness. The student realizes at this point that she is infinite and boundless, a vastness that has no end. It is as if she becomes the vastness of intergalactic space, seeing that this absolute blackness has a crystalline purity and clarity which make the blackness shimmer and glitter with indescribable brilliance. Her mind explodes into absolute clarity and brilliance, her heart a vastness of annihilating intimacy and bliss, and her body a shimmering which is the appearance of the totality of the universe. The Point of Existence, pg. 423 The Absolute is the Absolute and Final Truth of the Soul and Everything Else The aspect of Truth, for example, functions in helping the soul to discriminate between truth and falsehood, and hence guides her in her life and development towards greater and deeper truth. The deepening experience of Truth opens the soul to the ultimate truth, which is revealed to be the Absolute. In other words, the aspect of Truth reveals itself ultimately to be simply the manifestation of an implicit perfection inherent in the Absolute: The Absolute is absolute Truth. It is the absolute and final truth of the soul and everything else. Therefore, the aspect of Truth functions to provide the soul with the capacity of discrimination necessary for her life and development in the world, but also, and at the same time as it does that, it connects her with the Absolute, revealing it as her ultimate truth. The Point of Existence, pg. 441 The Absolute Truth of Being is Absolute Existence which is, at the Same Time, Absolute Absence of Any Weight or Substance She recognizes that it feels mysterious because she cannot determine its nature, which is absolutely indeterminable. She feels total solidity, a crystalline diamond solidity, but at the same time recognizes that she is absolutely nothing, that she is absence itself. The absolute truth of Being is absolute existence which is at the same time absolute absence. It is the source and essence of everything, but at the same time it is total openness, an absolute absence of any weight or substance. The fact that it is absolute nonexistence gives it its annihilating power. The self feels annihilated because it discovers that its absolute essence is total absence. There is actually no annihilation, only the realization of the selflessness of Being, whose absolute essence is totally ungraspable, completely beyond definition. This indeterminacy is experienced as a paradox of being and nonbeing, existence and nonexistence, neither and not neither. The Point of Existence, pg. 423 The Transition From Pure Consciousness to Absolute Truth is a Spontaneous Process. You Just let Yourself Be We each require different lengths of time to dissolve the habit of assumption and the belief in concepts. Some concepts are easier to abandon than others. But the fundamental idea we have to see through is the concept of being a separate entity. Once that goes, everything else becomes easier. You realize little by little that you don’t experience yourself as a separate person. Although you behave as a person and you do things as a person, you don’t feel that way. The transition from pure consciousness to the absolute truth is a spontaneous process. You just let yourself be. Then the darkness encroaches upon you little by little and you get eaten up. That’s probably why people have so many fears about being eaten up and swallowed whole. Ultimately, we will be consumed. From this perspective, the many things that people say about giving, loving, serving, and sacrificing mean seeing through the entity and all of its attachments. What you surrender is your mind. Being a giving person means not holding on to an entity. Surrender means losing the belief that you are an entity. Service means that being an entity is not the end. All of these are conceptual ways to approach the reality. But, in a sense, the reality cannot be approached, because the moment you approach it, you are already dealing in concepts. You are already taking yourself to be something approaching something else. Reality doesn’t really work that way. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 178 When You Realize the Absolute Truth You Realize that Everything is the Truth When I say that our orientation is to follow truth all the way to the Ultimate Truth, I mean that the inner journey transcends life and death. When we talk about the ultimate or absolute truth, we don’t mean some kind of mysterious thing someplace. In the beginning it might appear that the truth is some kind of distant, mysterious, unknowable thing, maybe at the depth of your heart or at the center of the universe. But the truth is everywhere and is everything. When you realize the absolute truth, you realize everything is the truth. You cannot see that until you realize the Absolute, its reality and its purity. Then you realize there is nothing else. You forget about spiritual experience. You are not spiritual anymore. You become this-worldly instead of otherworldly. You realize that the world is the Absolute. Everything you see is the spirit, the Absolute. There is nothing else. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 150

I get this... But, if I am imagining others and the entire universe this seems like a useless arbitrary limitation. I can't reconcile this idea of me imagining a physical reality and other beings simply to ground myself in reality and then being told some of these things. I have to mature and experience more insights as I do the work. The entire thing seems like an ego. I don't necessarily want infinite power. But, I do want to sing to massive crowds and experience the unity of love with others. That just seems to far away. I know my ego is going nuts tonight. Surrender, liberation and selflessness are likely the only reasonable path. That seems true to me. I know this from 5meodmt experience my state right now is based in ego, limitation and falsehood. But, I also must escape wage slavery because that is worse than death. I also don't agree that power= consciousness. Many leaders like trump have lots of relative power, but low awareness. Perhaps my current interpretation of power is very limited and selfish. I theoretically could have finite power but still be in a reality where I am 'Arcadefire'. I guess, it is really up to me to create it. They are limited just like me, but have a different life. But that is wishful thinking and not reality or actual. I have to mature and face the fucking brutal reality that I am here and no one is going to save my sorry ass. God isn't gonna come from the clouds and make everything okay. It's my own interpretations anyway that make reality what it is. I just... I want infinite love and bliss and heaven. I don't want it to stop. I want to shake the world and DO something. But, I am so limited, selfish, biased, scared, short sighted, distractible etc.. How do I reconcile ambition and surrender? How do I reconcile getting old, going bald etc... But, I also sense as I let go of needing to be successful my drive lowers and I relax more. I don't drive and practice as hard... I have much maturing to do. I still think a lot of your teachings are far too conceptual and I need more reference experiences. TLDR: Overall, my current state is one of egoic attachment and immaturity. I know from my 5meodmt experiences what you are saying is true.

Yeah bro, the bliss is the full acceptance of what is. It's the underlying recognition that it's all well. ❤

Schrodinger's Fagg0t. Is that a dick or a dildo in my ass? I won't know untill someone tells me! That's my subjective experience! If I close my eyes, perhaps the shadow of nîgger can disappear and what can arise is the platonic ideal. I might get into journalling again, mostly on paper, just for the sake of reminding myself of tasks. Serious journalling and reflections is better done on paper, for I don't want the slightest degree of social perception and self-consciousness to taint what I write. Avocado, stretch, ACIM, tea, doesn't matter what order. Some sort of work out. I'll maybe do some my physics reading, "I'll punch that cu** Ta{beep} in the face". Woah, take a chill pill, M. Above all else, you can do this. Thy will be done on earth as it is on heaven. Okay. Edit: Honestly, I've had up to here with both myself, my family, and how I handle my family. Thoughts and feelings of vindictiveness, spite and withdrawal arise for me, but I must instead just listen to the signal of rage instead of being consumed by it. Listen to the signals. I dislike this part of me which does not want to forgive or reconcile. But I first must own it. No words no thoughts can save me or offer consolation. I'm pissed off and fed up. Something David Hawkins said. Every moment, one has to make a decisions/intention. You are never not making a decision. My decision to say nothing or do nothing is still an inner decision, compared to saying or doing X thing. _ _ _ __ _ _ Further edit: In the off chance I ever decide to end it all, know this. I didn't give rat's ass about spiritual this or spiritual that, weird belief this or weird belief that. I did it because I was tired, frustrated, and saw no reason to live I'm seriously trying to think, contemplate about this and reason it out, whether I should kill myself, but all I get from Google are helplines and empty platitudes. It doesn't help that I get a 403 error whenever I try to access that website which had people contemplating this topic honestly alongside methods. I don't know a contextualisation which makes any of this okay, no abstraction or myth or narrative could make the meaningless any better. My passions and joys are gone, and I find no ability to express myself. Two years ago, I was this close to ordering that substance. Nitrous something something, I can't remember the name. Why didn't I click order? Would it not have been better for me? At least that way my family would have a more convenient time to process my death. Now is a rather inconvenient time, and it would be a very asshole move. If I ever do go through with this, I have to leave some good notes or words at the very least, with whatever apology. I met a couple of more people in the last two years, and the ripple of my selfishness would unfortunately spread further. I'll do anything to escape this hell, that's the only conviction I can feel right now. Failing and failing, over and over again. I'm not even that energetic in this consideration of suicide inherently, but when I find myself slipping into my haze of sleepiness and dullness right now, I will myself to think and jolt awake. I refuse to just let the clock run out and have the same patterns repeat again and again. _ _ _ _ The people of my religion and others like david r hawkins said that the date of your death is pre-determined; but if I do a suicide attempt, and then if that is successful, I'd have proved them wrong. But if I fail, well then, I can only laugh, and the joke's on my ass. _ _ _ But the question still stands, how am I to reasonably contemplate and consider this decision? Google results of helplines and whatever other generic garbage, that's hardly a dialogue or consideration. I land at this point again and again, "should I kill myself?". I land at the reality and meaningless of my situation again and again. The same problems again and again. What is happiness and how is it formed for people? Loving companions and friends? Maybe a passionate life purpose? Or is it just the correct balance of neurotransmitters for a state of consciousness? Someone could want to drug me up with whatever SSRI'S, but I refuse that track. It solves nothing. You can gas me up with chemicals of bliss and euphoria and I'd still be miserable, for my depression and angst has psychological and spiritual roots. There's no rush, not right now anyway. I can always grab the rope a year later or at the end of this year. I feel better after typing this all out, and I need to give this all more time to swirl around in my consciousness and see what happens. I remember coming across a 22 year old fellow online who told me, that if he hadn't finished university, spent a year in the army and then got a job by the time he was 27, he'd kill himself. He said it so nonchalantly and casually. If he hadn't got his life together by 27 "(job, house, gf)", he'd grab the rope I found that very bizzare and couldn't understand. How could someone conditionally plan for their suicide in the far future?! That's far too abstract. If you're suicidal, you feel the emergency emotion to do it right away don't you?!! But now I understand that man a little more, and I finally understand what he meant. Very funny, and I now feel more connection to that random man then anyone in the world. But that's still too abstract and cerebral to me, for I prefer a blaze of glory and an emotional high before things end. All I'd need to do is play the right musical tracks before my send off.

So I just had a DMT trip where I experienced every human emotion possible. And it was overwhelmingly painful. The Universe raped me. It raped me by screaming to me: LET FULLY GO NOW! LET FULLY GO. And I realized that I had let go of everything -- was letting go of everything, could let go of everything -- except my breath. I answered to the Soul of The Universe: "I'm letting go, look, I'm one with You already, but I'm gonna keep breathing through all this pain" and The Universe replied (all my closest friends and familiy basically smiling and reaching their hands out to grab my soul out of my body (physically die, let go completely) and I answered that "I Love You, but I'm gonna keep breathing now, okay" .. and I kept breathing, and I didn't die. And now I'm here. Shaken as fuck, but with a smile on my face. This is peak "Faith/Meaningfullness" for me, right now, as I'm writing this. Life has infinite meaning. Death has infinite meaning. We will all die, so no rush, but I can say one thing with 100% confidence now: Dead, as in real physical dead, will be the most meaningful experience in your life. Or you could say: Your whole life will be the most meaningful experience you ever had, because you are going to die. Imagine a painted beautiful colourful canvas -- a piece of absolute art -- with foreground and background. It seems like -- to most people -- that LIFE 'is the foreground' and that DEATH 'is the background', but actually it's the other way around: LIFE is the background, DEATH is the foreground. Life IS suffering. Death is Bliss. They imply each other -- arise simultaneously -- THEY ARE ONE. Death = Life Life = Death Contrast you know. Fucking Contrast. God is a work of genius. Contrast. Play. Everything is frequency, Reality a symphony. We are all going to die, though, so no rush. And also, the secret is basically to die metaphysically before you die physically, so you can live the rest of your life fully and whole without doubt, but in faith. Have faith. <3 I am lucky to be born in Denmark, I'm eternally grateful 'my soul' chose to be born here. But even in arguably the best country in the world (from a ego-safety perspective) suffering is still widespread. Life is suffering. Your job doing life is to transcend it.

Plenty of things to do: True Growth You can outgrow your inability to be alone. This means changing yourself so much, that you won't even bother thinking about the whole issue anymore. It means letting go of the self that is attached to having these feelings. That thinks it needs others and that is identified with having this problem. It can also help to release the need for company. That means welcoming the feeling of loneliness and emptiness. And then letting that feeling go as well. You can do the 2 Steps I described in my post here. Aligning yourself with Truth Meditation, psychedelics... there are many ways to increase consciousness. As you ground yourself more and more in Truth you may find out that you were always alone your whole entire life... or that you where never alone, ever! It doesn't really matter. Because as you dive nose deep into consciousness you also dive deep into Love. And feelings of bliss, joy and gratitude will soon be sharing the space with the loneliness you feel right now. Fake Growth Aka the practical stuff. Meeting more people, changing your lifestyle in a way that you will have enough company to feel happy. You are already doing this right now with the martial arts class. I'd suggest activities that are more about getting to know other people, instead of getting to know a sport. For example you could join a community or club that aligns with your interests (personal development, spirituality, yoga, meditation, finances, toastmasters... whatever). Basically a group of people that are open and meet to talk about something. Or they do an acitvity and then later on stay to talk about it. Speaker events often are like this. You sit for a few hours and listen to a talk, then later you can discuss the topic with the group. Meetups or networking events just to name a few more. While Fake Growth is not the best way, it's definitely better than doing nothing. Just fake it 'til you make it

Who wants enlightenment? The mysterious ego. What you truly are -- Soul, God, Pure Eternal Consciousness, Love -- is already Enlightened. Of course. So what is 'spirituality' about? It's about 'unifying' your mind, heart, body with YOU (Ecstasy/Spirit/Soul/Love). Yoga. Self-exploration. Self-discovery. Meditation. Self-contemplation. Getting in touch with Ecstasy through various practices... -- Breathwork, meditation, sex, tantra, love, community, silence aka 'observing being instead of doing', life-purpose, dancing, music, embodiment exercises, drugs, cathartic art, nature, travelling, casting yourself into the unknown, challenging your comfort zones, psychedelics. ?⌛☯️??? There are infinite ways. What works for you? What haven't you tried? What are you afraid of? The unknown. The unknown is a symbol for death. ☠️?️??️?☠️?? The only truth, we humans can all agree on around the entire globe, is that we shall all die. Death. Our physical bodies and accompanying memories (ego) shall die. Sooner or later. The past & the future are composed of 'nows'. Do you realize the implications of this? You are already dead. Don't you see? There is only NOW. Time is an illusion. A social construction at best. Time is the ego's mode of functioning. Only the ego 'regrets & worries'. Only the ego is stuck in melancholic/fearful fantasies about the past/future. Only the ego is 'in a hurry'. It's all thoughts. Where do thoughts appear? Now. Now, now, now, now. Where do thoughts disappear? Now. You are Now. Thoughts appear 'in you'. As long as you are believing you are controlling your thoughts, as long will your thoughts (ego) control you. Only when 'the need-for-control' is fully 'let go of', shall you see that thoughts are insanely mystical and appearing out-of-nowhere IN YOU (= Pure Consciousness) without any of 'your doing'. And only then will you be free: You are NOW directly in touch with Divine Imagination: thinking without thinking, feeling without feeling, acting without acting. By letting go of & completely surrendering '(ego)control', you 'remember'/'get back': *true, divine control*. Liberation. The past is the future. The future is the past. You see how they imply each other? You can't talk about 'the future' without 'the past' to contrast it with. But... You are, in actuality, always *right in the middle* - always *NOW* - and the past only happens/appears-to-you as 'thoughts / stories / interpretations' *NOW*, and the future only happens/appears-to-you as 'worrying / expectations / planning / fantasy / predictions' ... NOW! It is always, always, always ... *now* ... - don't you see ? ? ? And thus you are already both alive AND dead, simultaneously! You just 'are'.... Being'ness. But by inwardly, intuitively knowing that you will eventually die, while outwardly, acting like you are eternal, there is a deep dissonance IN YOU. Disconnection. Disharmony. Suffering. *Ignorance leading to fear of death leading to ignorance leading to fear.* A strong, deeply programmed survival-loop-of-ego. How do you get out of it? By realizing you truly already ARE out of it, and haver never *really* been caught;... only 'in-mind' (imagination). To ever believe that you are caught is exactly that: a belief. Imagination. Stories. The ego LOVES stories, haha. How do you realize you are already God? By letting go of beliefs, by letting go of clinging... to thoughts & old ways of behaving. By being open-minded enough to follow your divine intuition instead of 'always doing what you know & what feels safe'. 'Psyche-delic practices' means 'soul-manifesting practices.' You can do Soul-manifesting practices sober by just having a really deep vulnerable talk with your best friend or a stranger. What works for you? It doesn't 'have' to be psychedelic substances; that's actually only for the really curious or really fucked-up (imaginary) ego-brain-minds ;-). It's about being open-minded, curious & courageous enough to surrender to faith, instead of clinging to old conditioned ways of being. It's about going through 'enough' suffering/devilry/selfishness to understand that you don't want to live in ego (disconnection, ignorance, slave-to-fear) anymore. Enough of all that endless self-inflicted mental pain (=suffering), ignorance (=slumber) and selfishness(=devilry). Enough of that. It's then about being humble, brave & curious enough to take a leap-of-faith and cast yourself head-on into 'the truth/unknown, whatever 'truth' might turn out to be. The truth is death itself. And that is the unknown. You see? ... You don't know what dead is. Zero fucking clue; 'no one' does. Only those "who have already died without physically dying" are, perhaps, lucidly aware of 'what's going on'. They have become 'no one' (once again). See, that's the fucking trick: to die (ego death) before dying, and realize that there is no death. That what 'death' is, is simply equal to what 'the background' is in relation to 'the foreground' in a painting. They imply each other. Arise together codependently, reciprocally, simultaneously, 'go-together' ... just like heads/tails, physical/mental, up/down, selling/buying, bad/good GO-*TOGETHER* !! And be open to the possibility that perhaps life itself is actually 'the background' to a much more blissful larger 'foreground' (death). (Death as in 'letting go' -- not physical death per se) Life IS death. Death IS life. All opposites are seen as UNITY. Oneness. One. You are One. Right in the middle of all imaginary opposites. And here, with Me, right in-the-middle, the golden mean, there is infinite nuances, infinite balance ⚖️ ☯️ ? . Here, the world is too full to talk about, just: silence, feeling, looking, eyes, accepting, forgiving, listening, loving. Here, there is no right or wrong, just being. Here, there is no self, just is'ness. Here, there is no bad or good, just wonder. Here there is no selfishness or selflessness, just Eternal Infinite Unconditional Love ('Neutrality'). No judgments, just openness. Here, everything is nothing, nothing, everything. Here, everything is mystery, incomprehensible for the mind/the thoughts to understand or know or speak about. 'Mind' expresses itself through thoughts. The social conditioned survivalistic ego 'hides in the mind' and controls the thoughts, as long as it is untranscended. In other words: you feel 'caught' in the meaningless chaos of life; like a 'conscious poor-little-me', seemingly 'stuck inside a human brain' on 'probation' in a seemingly: physical, robotic, random, nihilistic, chaotic, outside world. Right? But be happy, cos if you're a good well-behaved conforming rabbit that blindly chases the carrots of life (authority, religion, science, looks, success, career, money, power, sex, alcohol, new iPhones and cars, achievements of all kinds, then, well, then you're supposed to be HAPPY! ? Death is simply liveliness. Destruction, annihilation, letting go of the old, dying ... IS: ... transformation, change, growth, novelty, LIFE. ????? Life (mind, thoughts, fear, ego, physical body, survival, safety, sex; judging, dividing the world into good'n'bad; chasing the next dopamine kick) is not your true self. It's a character (body) and a play (world). Death (letting go of all of the above) is not your true self either! It's a new character, a new play. Novelty! ? Eternity! ⏳ Impermanence! ?️ Infinity! ? ☯️♾️???????⚖️☠️❤️?️? So ... Why did you get disconnected from yourself in the first place? Survival: childhood trauma, of course (which you should work on in some form or the other). We must learn to love ourselves, before we can really love others. We cannot fix anyone -- only ourselves. When we have 'healed ourselves' through our 'inner teacher' (soul, intuition), we can 'help others' with finding their own inner teacher, so they, too, can become 'whole' ... again. .… Actual Enlightenment is basically when you integrate all polar opposites into your soul, cos you 'lucidly see' they are complementary (ONE). Many people seeking enlightenment on this forum are believing that if they became enlightened they could sit in a cave in the Himalayas and meditate for eternity in bliss; like that is the point of enlightenment; like you need to do 5-MeO-DMT 100 times or do 1000x 1 month silence retreats to 'achieve, attain' enlightenment…. BUT. GUYS. Let me be the first to tell you that while psychedelics, silence retreats and meditation/contemplation can be absolutely fantastic for some, if not for many, on the path, it is still just 'external, imaginary solutions' to an 'inner, imaginary problem'. The inner problem is let go of when you see that there (truly) is NO problem (only imagination). When you fully let go and see that death is life, life is death. This can happen during regular life, it can happen in a cave in the mountains, it can happen during meditation, it can happen on DMT, it can happen whenever. You have nothing to say in this matter. It is absolutely mystical and beyond your control, if, and when you awaken during this lifetime. God decides. The Universe decides. Not you, your cute little ego. You are just a small, perhaps big, wave skating on top of a bottomless, infinite, eternal ocean. The ocean is doing you, not the other way around;) If you can let go of identification with being a finite wave, you will start feeling and sensing the magic of the whole ocean more, which is liberation, which is enlightenment, which is awakening. After all, your true nature IS the ocean (Infinity, God, Consciousness, Love, Nothingness, w/e u wanna call that which can't be explained through language… *THIS* !). .… To live 'in the world' (the marketplace), or to live 'outside the world' (the mountains); now, that is the question! The hedonist or the ascetic? What to choose? I will say one should choose to land 'in the middle'. But before one can attain/remember the golden mean, one naturally need to have tried out 'the extremes' first. In the middle is where you simultaneously live life in the world (buy and sell at the market place, participate in society, enjoy the small pleasures) while also being lucid enough to see that it is all 'just': an inexplicable, incomprehensible, mystical, mind-boggling magical, infinite, eternal dance, where the best thing to do is to just 'keep dancing' -- always innovating, developing, transforming the dance, so that it never dies, but stays alive, in motion -- rather than to stop or hesitate and cling to one or two dance steps becoming scared, angry, annoyed or ashamed towards other, new or deceased or silly dance steps. Let the dance happen by itself as it unfolds rather than tripping yourself up all tight, alright? To 'strain, hold on, control' is a 'limiting contraction of Infinity' to ego. To 'relax, let go and let happen' is to become 'whole again with the Universe' - to melt back into the 'Now of Infinity'. Dance. Dance. Dance. Lifedance. Follow the Divine Intuition inside & outside 'your ego'. (It is all inside God's mind, anyway). Your ego is that inside you which is afraid, ashamed, angry, envious, etc. Act despite fear. That is being brave, that is following the intuition. Actually embody the sentence 'follow your intuition' by actually doing the things you are afraid of! Like ACTUALLY *DOING them*, I mean WITH YOUR BODY .. *not in your mind!* . (The classic trap on this forum: Replacing direct experience with concepts, trying to eat the menu, mistaken the finger for the moon, mistaken the map for the terrority, ENOUGH OF THAT! <3 <3) .… “Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.” “Dance is the hidden language of the soul”. "And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.” “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.” “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” “To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.” "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.” “Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.” “Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.” "Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.” “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.” “Sleep my little baby-oh Sleep until you waken When you wake you'll see the world If I'm not mistaken... Kiss a lover Dance a measure, Find your name And buried treasure... Face your life Its pain, Its pleasure, Leave no path untaken.” "Do a loony-goony dance 'Cross the kitchen floor, Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.” "Nobody cares if you can't dance well." “The job of feets is walking, but their hobby is dancing.” “Who're you going with, then?" said Ron. "Angelina," said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment. "What?" said Ron, taken aback. "You've already asked her?" "Good point," said Fred. He turned his head and called across the common room, "Oi! Angelina!" Angelina, who had been chatting with Alicia Spinnet near the fire, looked over at him. "What?" She called back. "Want to come to the ball with me?" Angelina gave Fred a sort of appraising look. "All right, then," she said, and she turned back to Alicia and carried on chatting with a bit of a grin on her face. "There you go," said Fred to Harry and Ron, "piece of cake.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

?????? Being asleep is fun but is suffering. Being awake is boring but is bliss. Pick your poison! Maybe you haven't suffered enough;) Maybe the devil wants a last dance with you. What do YOU want?

Yup, as the mystics before me pointed out: "Death is 'a stripping away' of 'all' that is 'not-you'. The secret of life is 'to die before you die' and realize there is no death". I already knew that before my last DMT trip -- and not 'knew' as 'in belief', but as in: I have directly died many times already, i.e. transitioned from 'selfish states of consciousness' to states of 'Eternal Love, Empty Consciousness, God, Infinite Imagination, Absolute Goodness, Pure Being.' There is no death for 'that which you truly are' (God, Consciousness, Love, The Now, Soul, Infinity, Eternity, w/e you wanna call The Self-Less Self), since it is already simultaneously both dead and alive; or even more accurate: it is neither of them, it simple is what is: THIS: *plays a note on the piano*, and we won't give it a name. The thing is, nothing we can say with words about 'Absolute Truth' ... 'is it.' Everytime we say a sentence, we are limiting Infinity to something finite our ego can grasp onto. So even saying 'death is imaginary, you are eternal' is a limitation. Everything is. Yet everything is also IT. 'Death is imaginary' is a fantastic pointer to towards Truth, though. Life is also imaginary. My life as Thomas, your life as Leo, is also imaginary. The essence of 'every experience' is that it is part of the Infinity of Imagination. Absolutely EVERYTHING is imaginary, which means that EVERYTHING is also real. The only 'thing' -- we could say -- that is 'not imaginary' is Infinity (God, Consciousness, Love), but again: all language is limiting. What I'm saying hardly makes any sense to those who have close to no experience with ego-death. To be able to communicate pointers of truth clearly and accurately even to those who are deeply asleep is an art form: a task of immense complexity. The Essence of Reality (Infinity) is so infinitely meaningless, that whatever is then 'imagined' must - per definition - be infinitely meaningful. From the perspective of me as a human being who "needs to": breathe, eat, love, have sex, sleep, pee, shit, drink water, feel that life is meaningful... - death is *not* imaginary. (Absolutely speaking it is, but follow me here, please). I can die any time. I could have stopped breathing during my DMT trip. I can get killed by a car on the road in 30 minutes. I will die. Waveintheocean/Thomas will die eventually. That is as true as Truth can get with words. Leo will die. Not ego-death -- not some kind of 'imaginary' 5-MeO-DMT-trip-ego-death -- but as in real physical death. Yet, what I *really am* can of course not die, cos it wasn't even born to begin with, I am Infinite & Eternal, as you say, sure, I know that, that's not at all what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about real physical death. Just forget all the fancy spiritual talk, I'm talking totally down to earth: I will die. That's as certain as the Sun will rise tomorrow. I will die. You will die. This is simply a fact we can ALL agree on. You can run away from 'yourself/truth/death' all life, but you will still die. Now, what is physical death, then? It's imaginary of course. But my whole life, your whole life, *IS* already *imaginary*... Death isn't different in that way. It's Infinite Imagination. And there is infinite meaning behind your life and behind your eventual physical death. What I got a taste of during my DMT-trip was just what awaited me after my imaginary physical death. It was bliss beyond all human imaginations of what bliss is. I can try to describe it, but words fail. ... Life, as in down to earth life here on Earth, is mystical, enigmatic and ineffable...just like death. But it's also rather obvious that it is filled with so so so much suffering. One thing is the suffering in my own 'egoic limited selfish life' 'as Thomas'... - Hah, that's only one drop in the ocean of the bottomless suffering human beings 'have and are and will' endur-ed/-ing/-e....... Life is painful as fuck. We can transcend our own suffering, and thus help others transcend theirs, yet it's still filled with suffering. You and I, Leo, are lucky, lucky souls who can smoke DMT in their apartment in a relatively safe country like USA/Denmark. But let's look around on the globe shall we: it's beyond belief, it's too much, it's literally painful and mesmerizing simultaneously to see how much suffering the average man & woman endures in their lives on Earth. I went through what felt like every single possible human emotion ever felt on Earth during my DMT-trip, from heavenly highs to contentment to the most terrifying painful lows down in the deepest parts of hell. It was clear to me, that relatively speaking, the sum of all these 'emotions' was (still): pain, suffering. That's just the nature of the human ego/condition: to be in pain, to suffer. And it was just lucidly clear to me that there was a deep, deep meaning & purpose behind all of it. And while you always have an invitation (here on Earth) to wake the fuck up and actually transcend all your own suffering (transcend ego), globally speaking it's just a tiny tiny drop of suffering that's being transcended in a vast ocean of suffering. Life IS suffering. Death IS bliss. Yet I'm not saying you should strive to die, i.e. begin getting suicidal ideations. Suicide is an imaginary external solution to an imaginary inner problem. Suicide literally will just make your soul reincarnate instantly back into Earth one way or the other (it's infinite, remember), because you haven't finished the lesson yet. What is life? It's a long, long, long, thorough lesson in accepting pain, transcending suffering, saying no to ego, saying no to devilry, no to cravings, no to being asleep, and instead: yes to liberation, yes to being awake, yes to selflessness, yes to Love. That's what it is. It's basically about becoming a professional at 'breathing through all the pain of life'. When you have become pro enough, you can consciously die - Mahasamadhi - and join the rest of the pro-breathers in the afterlife. Consciously dying = Afterlife = Bliss Unconsciously dying = reincarnation = still some suffering left to transcend:-).

I am better at not getting lost in the negative, fearful narrative of my mind than I was a few years ago, I now realize I am seperate from my thoughts and the master of my mind. BUT, one particular subject/situation that is current in my experience is very very touchy. Long story very short, abusive ex husband dissapeared for 3 years, came back out of the blue for a custody battle full of lies and everyone is believing him and turning things around on me and the entire thing is insane and infuriating. I can't think about it or deal with it without instant thoughts and feelings of rage, injustice, and fear. I'm desperately trying to soften my thoughts around it, not necessarily to positive thoughts because I'm way too far from there to make that jump. I'm going for neutral thoughts like "Things always work out" and "The worst is never as bad as my thoughts about the worst" but the subject is so charged, its electric. I avoid the subject entirely if I can. My 7 yr old has been with this man for 3 weeks now, after not even knowing who he was and I can't even allow myself to think about my daughter being with my ex abuser or the thoughts and feelings start. I can feel them in my body. Physically. If an email or text or call or court date comes up to deal with it, if someone asks me about it...instantly all the big feelings and negative thoughts flood my mind and body. Sometimes it literally makes me lose my breath. As if someone punched me in my gut. And things unrelated can trigger the crazy thought train to start barreling through my mind. I try to get ahead of it and journal, listing all the negative thoughts, questioning them, reframing them very neutrally... I use EFT/tapping, essential oils, positive affirmations... meditation feels like torture right now with all the racing thoughts. I'm also doing work on releasing anger and EMDR therapy for past trauma. How do I lessen the charge or soften the thoughts and feelings around a subject/situation that feels so scary and isolated? It feels like my voice on the subject doesn't matter and like I'm screaming into a void. I so badly want to see the love in everyone and everything and get to that place of forgiveness(myself and others), peace and bliss but the fear and anger from a lifetime of abuse and uncertainty is creating a fog in my experience where everyone and everything feels evil and scary and against me...at least things dealing with my ex or the legal stuff.

Your 'perception' of the other human along with everything you're experiencing (your direct experience -- perception = your conscious direct experience) is what Consciousness experiences in the Now. The emotions, feelings, sensations & experience you "vicariously' feel while interacting with the other human is Consciousness/God playing that character in the same 'eternal now' as what you call your inner individual experience. We are Here. NowHere. Don't you see? What you intuit/sense their experience is -> is precisely the experience Consciousness is having in the Now along with everything you're experiencing. You're feeling it, don't you? Infinitely close. Absolute. Total. Togetherness. Oneness. Love. One ecstatic playground. One Love. One heart but infinite ? Bliss, oh God ❤

Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here! Build up 'J' wanted to come over tonight, again. I had to say 'no'. She slept over last night already. Well... we barely slept, but yeah, she was here. I don't want this to start moving into a weird direction. A relationship - I mean. Am I worrying about nothing? Or is it for a good reason? You be the judge. On the second night she came over a bit later. It was almost 1AM. She worked late and she also promised a coworker to give her a ride home. I open the door for her and give her a hug and a kiss. We head up to my apartment. Again she's rocking a short dress. Looking all hot. We're both feeling good and excited about the date. Already talking about God knows what. The night is on fire. Both figuratively and literally. The passion in the air is undeniable. Summer is here. She already feels a bit more at home. A bit more comfortable and relaxed than last time. She moves around my place more freely. We talk and talk and it seems like we could go on forever. Again I must emphasize how good of a listener I think she is. I really feel heard when I speak. Not necessarily understood all the time, but heard for sure. She's present. Mindful. She's not elsewhere while she's with me. I really appreciate that. It's a breath of fresh air. Climax We skip the massage this time around. I have no idea what movie we started watching. A few minutes in and she's giving me this slow, super-sensual blowjob. She's got some serious skill. Definitely knows what she's doing. Meanwhile; I'm smoking a joint and playing with her gorgeous titties and her cute, little round butt. Need I say more? I felt like a fucking King. For a few moments; I kinda struggled to take in all that epicness. To receive all that goodness. It was so damn good it started being too good. To my fragile little ego - of course. A few more puffs and I lay my head down, melting through the bed and into the deep, endless nothingness. She keeps going and going. I feel like I'm falling forever. Never hitting the ground. It's beyond epic. Pure ecstasy. God knows how long it has been, but I finally open my eyes. She knows I'm back. She stops for a moment and smiles at me. 'Are you enjoying yourself?' - she asks. I smile back at her and put my dick back into her mouth. Sliding it slowly deep into her throat. She's gagging a bit but I keep holding her head down. I was so close to cumming into her throat right there, right then. But I resisted and released her. She liked that a lot. A few tears running down her cute, round cheeks. Her eyes half closed - so seductive. A naughty smile on her face. There was little to no space for a thought to occur in my mind... But I remember this thought crossing my mind at some point; 'Holy shit! I just got my dick sucked so good I reached infinite bliss. Enlightenment!' Haha! It was ridiculously good. One very important thing I did not mention 'till now... is her HAIR. Jesus Christ. It's so damn long and so damn thick. Beautiful, brown curls. All the way down to her butt. Great to play around with. I wanted to eat her out so bad. Her pussy is so lovely. It is the essence of femininity. It's so delicate. So delicious. A true work of art. My tongue works its wonders. I speak quite a few languages. I think it's an advantage. Her head is buried deep in the pillow. Her moaning is turning me on like crazy. It's so raw and unfiltered. So real. So primal. So hot. I slowly slide my finger into her. Her pussy is gripping me tight. Just unbelievable. How can a girl be this damn tight? I am losing my mind over it. It's incredibly hot to me. Soon there was room for another finger. I am digging in all directions. Shifting gears. Exploring her divine temple. Then I lock down on her G spot. 'Come, come' motion. My tongue circling her clit. I can hear her chasing the biggest orgasm of her life. Barely having any room left for breathing. Her body showered with adrenaline. She does not cum. I kinda knew she wouldn't. She was chasing too hard. Instead of letting it come to her. It's exactly the same as with Truth-realization. And it's also a pattern I'm used to seeing in girls. Some girls struggle to cum. At least in the very beginning of hooking up with you. No matter what you do, they're always going to be just an inch away from that mind-blowing orgasm. I also struggle with this, from time to time. While the majority of guys cum too fast... I sometimes take forever to cum. Anyways; despite her not cumming, she definitely enjoyed the fuck out of the ride. I give her a few seconds to catch her breath and then start pushing my dick into that tiny, little hole. We agreed to ditch the condoms. Not gonna lie, that entry hurt a bit. No matter how wet she was and how long I've been fingering her. My dick is just too big to enter her just like that. I definitely cannot just shove myself into her. It's a slow, delicate process. I keep pushing slowly, gripping her body tightly. Breathing into her neck. Pulling her hear. Softly whispering in her ear. She's opening up for me. I can feel her muscles relaxing, giving me space. For every centimeter I go deeper; she goes higher and higher. Her eyes roll back and I finally hit the wall. There is no more deeper than this. A few moments of stillness. Vibration. And the ride begins. We fall into a rhythm. Lock into a steady tempo. Breathing in and out of each-other. The sound of her juicy little pussy taking my fat dick is too damn hot. It's jerking my mind off. ASMR style. I turn her around. Her hair wrapped around my hand and I'm hitting it from behind. There is no way I can do it full force. I'd kill the poor little thing. But goddamnit the girl can take it good. She's a real champ. I pull on her hair harder and now she's up and against my body. I kiss her neck. Both of her titties in my one hand. My other hand playing with her clit. She completely loses it. So much so she starts taking control and pounding back real hard. She turns into a wild animal. Yup, you guessed it. She crossed the line and hurt herself a bit. But she shook it off quickly. Demanding me to fuck her more. I love fucking her in all positions. But there's something special about her riding me. Jesus fucking Christ. Serious cardio workout. I'm lowkey afraid of us getting a heart attack at times lol. It's just otherworldly. She's gripping my body tight with her thighs. Her boobs on my chest. She's moaning directly into my ear. Both of my hands on her gorgeous, round butt cheeks. Better yet; both of her butt cheeks in my hands. It just fits perfectly. I love being in charge in this position. It hits the perfect spot. For both of us. I came like fucking Godzilla. The build up was insane. I pulled out the last split-second and came all over her ass and back. ...And we're both shaking again. Laughing while trying to catch our breath. It was a laughter out of pure happiness. Pure joy. Pure satisfaction. She stays like this on top of me for some time. We kiss and cuddle for a while. And then... I look into her eyes and say: 'We must be careful not to fall in love with each-other...' She knew right away what I meant. I mean... This is waaay more than just some casual, empty, meaningless sex. This is hardcore love-making. It took us both by surprise. We took a shower, I walked her to her car and then went for a short walk. It was then that I decided to start this diary. Final thoughts: Yes. The third time, which was last night, was even better. True story. Spoiler alert: She came all over my face. And all over my dick, too. That's why I needed a break tonight. Funny because not that long ago I was bitching about how I feel like fucking all day, all night. And now I can't do three nights in a row lol. I guess even the good can get too much. Or worse; lose its magic. I don't want that to happen. Then there's also this whole 'falling in love' thingy. Which I'm not entirely sure what to think about. I don't want to panic. And I also don't want to cut this out. It's amazing. It should not be stopped. Just moderated. I sure as hell don't want a relationship. She says she doesn't either, but I'm not so sure about that. I think she's falling hard for me. I don't want to hurt her or break her heart. And I don't want to fall in love with her, either. It could happen so easily, unless I, or, we stop it from happening. I need some time and space now. I don't want to lose control over this situation... I ditched 'V' earlier today. - Another FWB I had from before. It did not make sense to keep her around now that I'm regularly hooking up with 'J'. Besides her, there's still 'K'. We rarely hang out, but whenever we do - it's always awesome. Nowhere near as awesome as it is with 'J', but still pretty damn good. More on all that later.

@kinesin That's interesting. I recognise a lot of what you said. I'm curious, how did you have visions? Did it also come in your sleep? How did it stop? What do you mean with already sensitive? I'm skeptical about other 'things'. From what I understand it's just lower and higher energies. And if you focus on these lower energies you feel fear, anxiety and the sorts, while focussing on higher energies you feel bliss etc. This is a good one. I noticed that I feel resistance of letting the Ra Material go. I think am more attached to this then I realised. Anyways, thanks for all the replys

Through the fields of scars and wounds, shining with dim light of non-existence. What tranquillity! What sweet peace! What inward serenity! What supreme felicity! An earnest of bliss! To reach beyond the web of spiritual deceit that mankind has been weaving for millennia and face the most horrible truth of all. Every single dream… shattered, trampled and lost. Every single word… silenced forever and evermore. Descent! Regress into prime, hideous, beautiful… Descent! Regress into prime, hideous, beautiful nothingness. Here, in fact, we may be in the presence of one of the most necessary of all Devils: the Ecumenical Unifier, champion of all efforts to remove invidious distinctions between nature and nurture, body and spirit, interdiction and impulse, time and eternity, individual and community, male and female, Hell and Heaven-and ultimately, of course, between man and God. While we may believe our world - our reality to be that is - is but one manifestation of the essence Other planes lie beyond the reach of normal sense and common roads But they are no less real than what we see or touch or feel Denied by the blind church 'cause these are not the words of God the same God that burnt the knowing I am nothing, I am no thing, I am not incessantly Not of the sun; nor the moon, nor of the stars... immesurably Not without me, nor within me, nothing sees... inwardly I will not sleep,I will not wake, I will not rest... impatiently Out of the many comes the One To lay waste the all and return to the None Without light The dark encloses all Our works would be but ash No knowledge of the time that crushes love to dust Or the life that's frozen deep within our veins Without dark The light burns out our eyes And turns each of us to ash Our hearts, too hard to ever learn to feel And mouths, laid open, deep in silent song Trapped within That which all collapses For fear of what may lay beyond When peace eludes And devastation happens A subtle glimpse of where we each belong

Sometimes knowledge can cause intellectual suffering. Moments of learning that caused me to feel the pain of my ignorance made me really feel this sentiment, “ignorance is bliss.” I wished I had never learned any of [this]. If I hadn’t learned [this], I might feel lost and confused at some points in my life—but I would avoid the intense intellectual pain of more acute identification with my thoughts. another aspect of knowledge is simplicity of life. Panic might motivate me to a greater or lesser degree, even if I learn more.

Ignorance is bliss.

Kundalini experience, yes on 2grams of lemon tek golden teacher, ended up experiencing so much love and bliss beyond words, the amount of joy I experienced on every part of my body was beyond my imagination, and the experience literally opened my heart chakra. But I've had a lot of meditation and Kriya Yoga experiences before that trip. if you know what you are doing with psychedelics, these substances are amazing tools for accelerating your spiritual growth really.

Right now I have tears in my eyes. I'm so overwhelmed with deep bliss and liberation. Islam feels like liberation

Be free to move this to self actualization or even serious emotional problems, but I would really like an advice from an spirituality-enlightment work perspective, more than from a mental illness perspective. This morning I woke up with "terrible feeling thoughts". And for the 999th time, I believed them/thought I was them. But a big question out of desperation came up "What the fuuuuuck am going to do with this mind?". Kind of Eckhart Tolle sort of way before his Enlightment, Yup. But here it hasn't happened yet. And life it's just this weird theatre between bad feeling thoughts most of the time and little short "teases" of realizing my suffering is completely imaginary and created by thoughts. But those instances are like 0.01% of time. Meditation works but it lasts sooo little. I basically have to be doing it constantly to feel at peace from the mind. So I do know it's just the mind. I do know what causes me suffering it's just thoughts. I do know I am not my thoughts. I do know the thoughts are NOT the truth! Love is the truth. The present moment. Everything else it's just relative biased thoughts conditioned by my specific ego life and survival strategies. Totally relative. However I also must confess, I am not sure if due to late stress, I stumble In between ideas of being super motivated to accomplish everything I wanted in life (stage orange stuff + being optimistic about healing my mental illness) in between fantasizing about leaving everything and bliss myself the fuck out in a cave with no food until I completely heal myself in a hardcore way (Sadghuru type of awakening). Not to say that I am saying I would be able to do it. Just because ...hey, I would prefer doing that that killing myself. Just to give you context ,even though I feel I did tremendous progress in my last psychedelic trip, it's also true than the following day after tripping, I went to the kitchen and put a knife in my neck and tried to cut me in front of two people (a girl I shared flat with and I liked, and his boyfriend which came by the previous night) It was a theatre, ( because I deliveretely chose a knife that I knew didn't cut almost nothing when I could have taken the one who does cut well ) that I did to be "saved" by them because I felt hated/not loved by them (my best bet of what social anxiety/feelings of unworthiness are) and by doing that they would help me, because I knew if I did that in front of them suddenly the conversation would switch (they were talking in the kitchen) to Me and my Pain (not my neck pain Lol, but the pain of being feeling bad because of this unworthiness/self hate energy, which got intensely triggered when I heard them having sex for an hour last night when I was still under the lsd effects. So doing that "theatre" was a way of releasing it ). Yeah...That's probably insane but I must confess I did felt very fucking good about that situation weeks later. I felt kind of guilt for putting them in that uncomfotarble situation, but my My ego did felt the love it was craving by doing that dumb theatre. I just think that that's how nasty, unconventional and uncomfotarble some roads to healing get. Or at least that's what I want to believe. That I am going fine and I'm going "up" in life. But the boyfriend of this girl also adviced me that I should go back to my parents and start over. They didn't know the knife thing was a threate. I don't agree with him, that would be like starting again from scratch, that doesn't win me anything. Staying here though being independent almost guarantees me growth. Yet life seems so highly unstable at times. Yesterday I almost crushed my car. I got distracted because of being in this mental space of stress and kind of angry. So that's not good. Mmm don't know I'm honestly not sure where this is going. But I also can't quit right? ???‍♂️ I must keep playing the game..I just can't go back to my parents house and lock myself in the basement.to go play videogames. I just thought life was going to be.... A little.bit easier... when I got out of that "basement"some years ago wanting to become a full healed man. And of course...that's all a story because life is ain't that hard it's just my mind that keep creating imaginations and Fantasies with thoughts, and I keep believing myself to be them. Mind...could you step up to one side, and let me live for once? ?

92. Why Am I Depressed? Bottom line: Because your psychology sucks. 1. Clinical depression. Legitimate physiological conditions. (Minority) 2. In a bad psychological state. Not taking responsibility for your personal development. (Majority) Your happiness level is only about 50% genetics. (Book: The How Of Happiness) Stop being a victim and take ownership of your own psychology. The software is more important than the hardware. You are too identified with yourself. Too self-absorbed. Too egotistical. Your depression is contributing to that false sense of who you are. Also, have a negative self-image. Like that something is inherently wrong with you. These are mostly operating on you on a subconscious level. Writing them out might help. Realizing that all this past history is bullshit. Let it go. Meditation will help. It'll get you in touch with genuine happiness. The natural state of a human being is bliss and happiness. Without external stimulation. This will prove to you that your depression is self-created. Other things feeding into your depression: - Not living in integrity with your values - Being inauthentic and fake with other people, and with yourself (not honoring what you're actually feeling) Solutions: - Introspection. Developing an understanding of you're creating your depression. - Meditation. At least 20 minutes. - Exercise. Studies show that it is equally effective as anti-depressants. - Do the little things you know you need to be doing. Eat healthily, wake up on time, get to work on time, etc. - Life purpose. You need a strong sense of purpose. To know what you're committed to creating in your life. When your life is about serving others and not just about you. - Serious meditation and contemplation work. Research the ideas of ego, subconscious mind, and enlightenment.

Holism & Holistic Thinking - Part 1 "When we try to pick out anything by itself we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe." --John Muir What is holism? "The theory that parts of a whole are in intimate interconnection, such that they cannot exist independently of the whole, or cannot be understood without reference to the whole, which is thus regarded as greater than the sum of its parts." --Oxford Dictionary Key: Irreducibility. What really matters is the relationships between the objects and not the objects themselves. Holism is the opposite of reductionism or atomism. (Treating nature as just a collection of discrete individual objects.) Reductionism is an implicit part of the materialistic paradigm. (The idea that the universe is real, material, objective, external, and doesn't depend upon the mind. Boiling everything down to something like atoms, so to understand a frog we take it out of its territory and study its blended-up parts under a microscope.) This is not how to understand reality, because so much is missed, this unholistic way of thinking leads to many dysfunctions and pathologies. If you believe you can, it's an implicit part of your epistemology and metaphysics you're sneaking in without validation or proof. Episode: Deconstructing The Myth Of Science - Part 1, 2, 3 The frog will behave differently in the lab than in its natural habitat. Scientists underestimate the entanglement problem between the scientist and what is being studied. Your understanding of what the frog is really is in your mind and not existing out there. There are different gradations of science. Lower and higher quality science. It's easier and cheaper to study a frog in a lab compared to going to its territory. School, academia, science, business, healthcare, government all have a bias towards analysis and division. Your mind can be very divisive or it can be used in a more unitive fashion, synthesizing and unifying things. This is deemphasized in our institutions. Often we're using analysis to achieve a certain survival result. This leads to a lot of narrow specialists in the world with lots of technical expertise. High technical expertise but very little wisdom. One of the features of wisdom is that it's holistic. Key lesson: Start to see how important holism is and how little it is stressed in most institutions and areas within society. Why is holism so important? Examples: Pharmaceutical companies thinking unholistically while trying to find medicines for curing one disease and not paying attention to all the possible side effects on the body and mind because the CEO says it's all about driving up the stock prices of the company and that it's not his concern but the therapists. Compartmentalizing the problem, treating it as though it's not your problem. Also, the way we market and push the drug so hard through TV ads so that people who don't even need the drug end up getting prescribed it, get addicted, depressed, and shoots up the school of the daughter of the CEO. In a sense, everything is your problem. Holistic thinking requires much more taking much more responsibility for all of your actions and all of the secondary and tertiary consequences. Disney buying Star Wars from Lukas just to make money from it and no nice overarching vision or conclusions. Why? Because they didn't have a holistic approach to this problem. The visionary brings to a project this overarching holistic sense of direction, of what they're doing, of vision. Notice how various forms of entertainment have fallen prey to this. The people who take over reducing the whole thing down by slapping some things together and hoping it will just work out. By reducing Star Wars like that you're reducing something that's greater than the sum of its parts. Chess. In a sense chess is a battle for the most holistic understanding and intuition. The most beautiful chess games are those where some great sacrifice is made to come back later for the win. People who are unholistic paint themselves into a corner easily. In chess it's called a fool's mate, you think you're going to win, but it was just a lure and you lacked the holistic understanding. Master equations that explain all of life: (34:55) Contemplate these two for years, it'll keep paying off. Holism = wholeness = health = healing = Unity = Oneness = infinity = harmony, balance = Goodness = Love = God = Selflessness = wisdom = Beauty = holy = heaven = bliss = peace = happiness Lack of holism = division = fragmentation = partiality = brokenness = lack of harmony, imbalance = limitation = finite = selfishness = ugly = evil = hell = suffering Consciousness can have various levels of holism to it. From infinitely unholistic, fragmented, and divided to infinitely unified and everything in between. And depending on where you are on this scale is going to be the quality of your life and how beautiful and holy life seems to you as an individual. Collectively, as a species, the more unified we are, the more holistic we are the more beautiful our societies will be. The more beautiful our cities will be, the less war we'll have, the more peace we'll have. Peace through unification. "Unification needs to happen at all holons, higher and higher, until we reach an infinite unity. This is what human history has been about for the last 10.000 years." First as tribes, then as city-states, then as nations, now we're starting to unify as the globe, which is meeting a lot of resistance. "The reality is that anything short of infinite unity is going to lead to suffering, ugliness, and limitation. The whole point of spiritual work is to let go of all your partialities, all of your divisions, which means becoming more selfless, the most difficult thing to do, and when you become completely selfless then you realize that you're God. (Infinitely selfless consciousness) And the reason you don't realize you're God right now is because you're in a divided, highly fragmented, highly partial sense of consciousness. You think you're a little human, that's separate from the universe, humans, animals, planets, and solar systems. ...This is how to heal the world and how to heal yourself." Your ego is not fully unified, it's fragmented. One day you're all gung ho about meditating, self-actualizing, eating healthy, and going to the gym. The next day you're lazy, you don't go to the gym, and eat a bucket of ice cream, and don't want to self-actualize. (Ego-backlash) "Harmonize the situation instead of shaming and guilting yourself, further fragmenting." How do you fix this? With love. Love is that which can understand, and recognize and accept, integrate through acceptance, through a higher understanding. How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You (56:20) The essence of shadow work: "Recognizing parts of reality that you've disowned by expanding your consciousness, a more holistic understanding of that situation, and then incorporating it, integrating it, loving it, accepting it, unifying it until there's no shadow." God is that which has no shadow because it's infinitely conscious of itself. No more warring with yourself and warring with others. You recognize it's the same thing. The higher your consciousness goes, the more unity you experience, the more blissful your life will be, the more loving you will be with others in your life and with yourself, the more you will accept yourself the happier you will be. And if you take this far enough your consciousness becomes infinitely unified you will experience heaven, paradise. What is hell? The absence of love. "Unholistic thinking creates duality and division, that's the problem." Examples: "Facts don't care about your feelings." -Ben Shapiro Your facts are very much influenced by your feelings. It's like severing your head from your heart. A lot of who you are is in your body, not just in your head. A lot of emotions and trauma are carried in the body. It's usually your emotions and wounds that drive you deeply subconsciously. And then you don't take care of those issues in your body, it creates pathology. It's part of the materialistic paradigm and our education system. Techniques: Yogic practices, Shamanic Breathing, Bioenergetics. Popular duality in politics is "the globalist elite vs the ordinary little people". There's not that much difference psychologically between elites and regular folk. Most elites are more educated, have more consciousness, and are more developed and loving people than regular folk. There are definitely deep corruptions within the elites themselves. But no matter how much corruption you see in the elites, the corruption in the lower classes is way worse than in the elites. That's the key mistake that many Trumpists, and supporters of Trump and right-wing populism make. This is analogous to the problem that happened with Hitler. His whole spiel was that we wanted to take over Germany from the globalist elites on behalf of the regular folk, that was his whole appeal. Trump is better than Hitler, but there are deep analogies. And there's a lot of foolishness to go around on both sides the right-wing and the left-wing. Criminals vs the good guys, the upstanding. Demonizing and hating criminals and not treating them humanely creates a shadow. This increases recidivism rates and makes them become more criminal, especially in the US- In Scandinavian Nordic countries they get much better results. Much more humane prison systems. Rehabilitation rather than punishment. To want to rehabilitate them you have to see the criminal as not separate from you. If we're holistic and even-minded in the way we see things most of us are criminals in one way or another. The criminal elements of society are literally just parts of your own psyche as God. Duality between science and spirituality. In our universities, anything spiritual is seen as anti-scientific and it's really not allowed within them. Treated as a joke, unscientific, lack of rigor, lack of truthfulness. And conversely, in many spiritual circles rationality, thinking, and testing own theories is ignored. Both camps suffer for that. For science to fully flourish and to really understand reality at the deepest level it needs spiritual insight, from meditation, yoga, etc. It needs to consider deep metaphysical issues which are at the heart of science, which spirituality can shed a powerful light on. The mind-body problem can be resolved through spirituality but cannot be resolved through materialistic science. And spirituality needs a lot more science behind it. Through rigorous research into psychedelics, yoga, and meditation techniques. "Unholistic thinking creates conflict, fights, violence, war, racism, genocide, slavery, exploitation and even civilizational collapse can occur from this. Whereas holism interconnects everything and tells you what is important and what is meaningful in life." "One of the consequences of this materialistic, reductionistic attitude or paradigm that has been adopted by our culture in the West over the last hundred years especially, through the 20th century and still through today, is that it has tried to demystify nature too much. And in so doing it has stripped life of its meaning or its spirit." This makes you lose sight of the highest most important thing which is holism, unity, and love. Your spiritual connection to life, not just through your head, but also through your body, and through your emotional system, intuition, and your feminine side. We've had this schism between the masculine and the feminine. You're not a whole person this way." The essence of wisdom is that keen discernment and prioritizing the higher over the lower. The foolishness of our current society is that we've actually prioritized the lower over the higher. Technology, materialism, money, and pleasure and hedonism and raw data, and facts, and information above everything else. Example: You'll get dismissed going into a university saying that love is the most important thing to study. To do good science you actually have to be able to feel into reality with great sensitivity and mindfulness. The solution is not to go back to religion but to find the next level of synthesis and holism which start to integrate the best from religion and the best from science, a higher synthesis of those two. Without holism your life becomes petty, mechanical, utilitarian, demystified, and dysfunctional, you lose your connection to life, hence the epidemics of depression, suicide, and opioid addiction. When you rob people of their spiritual connection they just become zombies and robots and then they kill themselves if they're not able to get the sort of success they see people getting on TV. You literally feel disconnected and alienated from people, society, nature, animals, Spirit, Goodness, the Self, Love, and God. What you want most of all is you want to feel infinitely connected to everything. That's Love. "Everything we seek in any domain of life is wholeness and unity." In religion, we'll have to do the counterintuitive of being selfless and surrendering our attachments and beliefs in for example Christ as being the one true savior or Mohammed being the last prophet. To then create the true religion that loves all the other religions. That would heal the world at the plain of religion. In business, every business seeks to be a monopoly. To achieve a healthier unity within business we'd have to recognize that it's healthy for us to have business competition, and to have different sectors controlled by different companies and that we shouldn't be buying up and using various kinds of anti-trust method to collude and then to squeeze our competitors out of the marketplace. We want a healthy economy which has many different companies of different sizes, that creates more innovation, that will actually help to create a better economy for more people, better wages, more inventions and it'll benefit everybody this way. To do that you'd have to think more holistically. Every family seeks wholeness and unity which requires more holism. Science is trying to achieve unity and wholeness. Science wants to understand everything, a theory of everything, but it thinks that it can do that through the methods of science without realizing that it can't because science is not everything. It's self-defeating. Similarly, in Mathematics, mathematicians want to try to understand reality only as numbers. Without realizing that they're just projecting numbers onto reality. You can understand a lot about nature through math, it's been very effective, but it only gets you so far. Science deeply suffers from this, because current science and academia don't consider a thing true unless it can be quantified and put into an equation which is called formalization. This is extremely unholistic, reductionistic, myopic, and leaves out the most important aspects of reality. For example, you can't quantify Love and Infinity, which is what reality is. You can only quantify the finite not the infinite. Infinity is not a math thing, it's all of reality, of which math is just one subset. In Geopolitics people seek wholeness and unity. Less healthy way: Seeking unity by dominating other countries or by exterminating other countries and races and people. Healthy Geopolitics: Unity through peace, alliances, and mutual agreements. By respecting each other's boundaries and differences and we don't try to dominate everybody else, trying to create a global empire, and trying to put our own country above all the other countries. This is part of the pathology of the Trump policy of America first. It ends up boomeranging and creating the opposite effect. Americans are only one-tenth of the whole planet. The other nine-tenths will just organize themselves into a more selfless alliance that will ultimately be stronger than America which will then wither away. That's what America first would get you effectively if it would have continued for 50 more years. This is the short-sightedness of selfishness. Unity is sought in relationships. As well as in health. Language seeks unity. There's a unification force within currency as well. This is evolution and life. Unity and division in an infinite fractal all the way up and down the different levels of the holoarchy. Episodes: Division vs Unity & Understanding Duality 1, 2 & especially 3 Reductionism is easily exploited by devils. It's very easy to be selfish by deliberately limiting the scope of your holistic understanding to something very small and narrow. A classic strategy. Using our minds to carve up reality into tiny parts makes it easy for nobody to take responsibility for all the parts. This leads to pathologies in science creating a fractured view of nature. Spirituality expands that little circle of concern until it becomes infinite and then everything is your problem and responsibility. Many people vote on a single issue that they're been fearmongered about. (abortion, guns, etc) To have a well-functioning democracy we need citizens that are so holistic that they care about the well-being and health of the entire country and even the entire world. Immune against manipulation by devils on single narrow issues. A single issue is not as important as all the issues. This requires more empathy, an expanding circle of concern as well as becoming more selfless. The devil, any deeply selfish organism, creates a very narrow circle of concern within infinite consciousness and then defends that to death. Most humans create these gross externalities without being conscious of, taking responsibility for, the collateral damage they cause creating a toxic commons for everybody to swim in. Leadership is nothing other than selflessness, it's one of the most important factors. Bad leadership is extreme selfishness and narcissism a la Hitler or Trump. Self-bias privileges one part of the universe at the expense of another. Episode: Self-bias "Recognize that your mind carves up reality not arbitrarily and not in accordance with the truth but in whichever way serves your ego best. This is the antithesis of holism. The reason most people aren't holistic is simply because they're too selfish." Understanding recontextualization Another problem with lack of holism is that narrow expertise is vulnerable to recontextualization. A set of facts without its context doesn't mean very much and when you have an unholistic perspective on the universe whatever facts you have are always vulnerable to a radical recontextualization. Science grossly underestimates this problem. A robust and solid science needs to be immune to radical recontextualization. And then the only way to be immune is by expanding your context until it's infinite. This means your field has to be the entirety of the universe as a whole. The more big picture you have the less detail you have and the more detail you have the less big picture understanding. Like zooming in or out of the Earth. Holism is zooming out. The power of the ultimate holism is that you zoom out so far that you grasp the whole thing even though you don't understand all the details. In a sense that's omniscience. There are two ways to use your thoughts: to divide reality or unity reality. We in our education and culture are biased towards divisive type of thinking. Which kind of thought do you use most of the time? Which type of thinking leads to more peace and which leads to more conflict and war? Which one do you want? All thought is fundamentally dualistic and incomplete, even unitive thinking. You can't use the part to grasp the whole and yet still there are degrees of quality to thought, not all thought is equally good. Incrementally increase the quality of your thinking, making it more holistic, integrative, and unitive, without surrendering your ability to do analysis. And then eventually your holism gets so high that you recognize that even thought itself is too limited and too unholistic to transcend thought itself. The highest holism doesn't occur within thought it occurs within consciousness. The highest holism is infinite consciousness which is beyond thinking. But thinking is still important! The more holistic your understanding the better you can manipulate systems towards health and the highest good without them boomeranging on you. We can't create a healthy society without thinking and holistic understanding of the systems we're dealing with. Holistic thinking can foresee the counter-intuitive twists and turns that reality takes. Libertarians don't understand that their cry for absolute freedom boomerangs on itself. Freedom, as humans desire it, has to be delicately balanced and harmonized with restrictions and regulations to ensure that your freedom doesn't turn into enslavement. Complex problems require holistic solutions. Holism generates more robust solutions than otherwise. Why is the highest intelligence holistic? Intelligence can be thought of as holistic pattern recognition leading to insight. It's intuition, the ability to interconnect dots and to see the whole picture of a situation. Inherent features of the highest intelligence: Ability to deeply see the context. Ability to go meta and to transcend. Ability to self-reflect. Ability to take on multiple perspectives and higher perspectives. Ability to be unbiased and selfless. Equal concern for all levels of the holarchy. As you contemplate for yourself what intelligence is and as you're experiencing higher levels of intelligence contemplate: "Why are these things the case & why are they important to the highest intelligence"? Psychedelics are awesome because they change the neurotransmitters, upgrade them, to ones that offer more interconnections. Interconnecting together more of your mind. To the point where ultimately the interconnections become infinitely dense. Every corner of the universe interconnects with itself infinitely such that this circle becomes a completely solid, glowing, white orb of pure interconnectedness. = God = Love = Intelligence = Beauty = Infinity = Eternity = the Self, your true highest Self. At this level of interconnectedness and holism the boundaries and physical divisions of everything in the universe collapse. All is equally you without any bias or partiality or favoritism. That's the godhead, infinite consciousness, complete awakening to yourself as God. And this complete interconnectedness goes on forever, it's an infinite well of Love that you keep falling deeper and deeper into and it becomes more and more interconnected forever. Why is holism so rare? Costs to holism: You can't break holism down into bite-sized chunks very easily, it requires putting a lot of pieces together and holding them in your mind at once. Actualized episodes are long because they're trying to bring them all together. This is mentally overwhelming. As a devil, you make life easier by not taking responsibility. It requires selflessness. As a selfish needy person, it's hard to be concerned about anything very far beyond yourself. Holism requires a transcendence of one's survival, one's biases. Because at the highest holism you are completely unbiased, consciousness is completely unbiased. No difference between you getting raped, tortured, or getting a birthday cake. Understandably very threatening to the ego. Holism requires surrendering yourself until ultimately you surrender yourself so deeply that there's nothing left to surrender. That would be going all the way. But even increasing your holism still requires surrendering something. This would be the selfless life, surrendering everything else important in your life, the money, sex, drugs, business, career, house, and children. The only thing that matters to you being to be completely unbiased in how you see yourself. That would be true selflessness and it would lead to the ultimate Love. The reason you can't love everybody and everything is that you're so partial, always judging everything good or bad because your self needs to survive as that little thing that it is. "And as you surrender more of yourself, the distortions that obscure your vision of yourself and reality, fall away, the fog clears, the clouds clear, and what you see is you approach closer and closer to Truth. And at that moment when you completely surrender every single bias you have and every single personal preference for good and evil, and you completely surrender yourself, at that moment you die, and you become the truth. And Truth is complete selflessness, Love, God. That's God-realization. The cost is all of your selfishness." You don't select to be selfless because it's going to do something good for you, you select to be selfless because you want to be selfless and that is its own reward. That is the highest wisdom, to see that. It's the most counter-intuitive thing about the universe, the decision to become selfless. Because everything in your body and mind is screaming for you to become more selfish.

"Ignorance is bliss, but only for the ignorant. For the rest of us it's a right pain in the arse." - Ricky Gervais

Last night I became aware of another aspect of myself. "The Infinite". I get what your saying and even the whatever at the end. It's like somtimes you just gotta focus on your own bliss of knowing.

Method I did a 1h 30min session of kriya supreme fire once on every chakra, and then I alternated between the 2nd, 4th, 6th and 7th. After every breath hold of kriya supreme fire, as I was waiting to recover my breath, I did a chakra opening exercise on the same chakra. Kriya Supreme Fire The general Idea for this exercise is to focus on a chakra while holding breath and doing the 3 main bandhas. The area of focus for the 2nd chakra is over the hip bone on the stomach, the heart space for 4th chakra, third eye for the 6th chakra and top of head for the 7th. This fills the chakra with energy. For instructions read Kundalini Exposed by SantataGamana. The energetic increase from this exercise can saturate dysfunctions of your chakras and manifest in various ways, it could be dangerous, especially for people new to energy work. Do at your own risk. I'm not trying to avoid spelling out the technique here it just takes too much explaining to go into in a forum post, better read it directly from the source. Chakra Opening On every out-breath you gently relax the chakra, fill it with bliss and tap into its positive expression. This synergizes with kriya supreme fire as it gives more energy to work with. The positive expression of the 2nd chakra is pleasure, 4th is love, 6th is presence, 7th is energetically melting together with the kosmos. There are many ways to do this. Here is an example for the 2nd chakra. I recommend Enlightenment through the Path of Kundalini by Tara Springett for more general instructions and Wheels of Life to better understand the chakra system. It was very energetically intense. When I had finished and opened my eyes I saw the word in a way I never had before. It was a way of perceiving, cognizing, behaving and experiencing myself, a totally new way of being that I realized was turquoise. The Anatomy of Turquoise The 2nd, 4th, 6th and 7th chakra make up the inner workings of turquoise. Everything I witnessed fell into an open heart(4th chakra). My open 6th chakra made the love indiscriminate, totally compassionate for even the darkest side of a being. That ability to see someone in their totality, without judging its ugly sides, is what gives turquoise it's famed holism. A 2nd chakra bond was then formed with being entered my awareness, could be a part of my subtle body, psyche or could be another living being. The indiscriminate love then worked through that bond to create the desire to heal the being. Healing means making happy, as happiness is the psyche's way of signaling health. It's then perceived that the being has bonds with other beings that in turn has more bonds. These bonds continue out to a whole network encompassing every being on this planet, aka, the web of life. The open 7th chakra made this cognition cosmic rather than personal, giving a 3rd person perspective required for the impersonal nature of the 2nd tier. Conclusions That state of mind requires a high degree of energy and purity. If I were to sustain that level, I would have to purify lower traumas and impurities that are keeping my energy down. Cleaning up is so important for vertical growth. I had never experienced yellow even close to this strongly before. It almost seemed like I had skipped that stage in many aspects. Just like rationality is the way of knowing for orange, intuition and empathy was a way of knowing for turquoise. Yellow systems thinking gave context for that intuition to give structure to the web of life. Turquoise is in essence a holistic healer. Leo has portrayed turquoise as spiritual in essence, which I now think is wrong. The ego transcendence achieved by spirituality is one aspect of turquoise, but turquoise is not complete without the involvement of the 2nd chakra in the way I described. I have ~2 years of energy work under my belt. I was meditating quite a lot around the time I had the experience. Normally I'm pretty orange but with a yellow worldview. But I also have a high amount of trauma and undeveloped sides of my psyche, so if my spiral development could skyrocket like that, then anyone could do it.

@Zeroguy I'm not a fan of either of those. Make a channel talking about what it's like to experience tears of bliss/joy and how to open your heart and experience love. If you are an effective teacher people will watch. Who doesn't want love and bliss?