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Most blackpill guys have serious childhood trauma, abuse, broken families, missing parents, evil mothers, drug addict parents, poverty, depression, mental illness, chemical imbalance, low education, low IQ, low physical appearance, terrible social skills, profound introversion, autism, Aspergers, zero social experience, bad ideological indoctrination. Yeah, you cannot imagine how bad it is. It's way worse than what you imagine. If you knew their childhoods and life experiences you would be horrified and their beliefs would make perfect sense to you. These people live in hell and depression and dream of suicide or killing women. It's a sick, sinister, dark form of consciousness. You could almost call it satanic energy. Blackpill is built on a painful toxic upbringing that creates seething anger and nihilistic apathy. Normal social guys cannot understand such things. It's like another world. A dark bleak world of trauma and misery with no hope, no redemption. A black hole of self-hatred. Your life has been too good, too loving to understand. No one hurt you enough, young enough. You had a decent family. You had good genetics. You had a social life.

Let me get straight to the point: if I came from the white light before being born—pure awareness, joy, unconditional love—then why the fuck would I need to learn how to be loving through the most agonizing human suffering imaginable? What kind of spirit guide says, “Hey, this infinite being of light and bliss? Let’s send him down into a life of trauma, poverty, loneliness, addiction, abuse, social rejection, suicidal thoughts, and total existential confusion. That way he can learn how to love.” Learn what? I was the fucking love. I was the light. I already knew. But nah, now I’m here. A fucking virgin. Isolated. Barely scraping by. Witness to my father’s death, robbed of $30,000 by my own family’s dysfunction, watching my ex-best friend descend into schizophrenia. I’ve been abused in just about every place I’ve lived. Worked myself to the bone in low-wage jobs while the world around me bathes in hookup culture, junk consumerism, and spiritual bypassing. Why the fuck would any “higher self” or “angelic council” choose this shit? Like seriously, what the fuck are they smoking in the white light realm? It’s always the same explanation: “You chose this life for your spiritual growth.” Oh really? Why? Why would infinite intelligence and infinite love need to incarnate into a butcher and then a pig just to “learn” compassion? If you're really that divine, why not just stop butchering altogether? You're telling me God—who’s been around for eternity—needs to go through schizophrenia, drug addiction, suicide ideation, childhood abuse, starvation, betrayal, heartbreak, and dying alone to “grow” a little more in love? That’s some sick joke. If I’m God, I should be able to wake the fuck up right now. Not when I’m 45. Not after I die. Not after another round of karmic cycles. Right. Fucking. Now. And if there really are spirit guides or angels or entities coercing me into another life because “I haven’t learned enough,” then fuck that. I should have the power to bitch slap them out of the way, rewrite the rules, and create something worth living. Not just another round of some poetic but ultimately pointless agony-for-growth bullshit. This isn’t enlightenment. This is spiritual gaslighting.

Post Title: If I'm God, Why the Fuck Am I Trapped in This Bullshit? I’ve done the fucking work. I’ve worked the shitty jobs. I’ve cleaned toilets. I’ve done early shifts, removalist work, physical grind, soul grind. I’ve been in the grind mindset. I’ve tried to play the money game. I’ve tried to hustle. I’ve tried to find the better job. I’ve done the whole “follow your passion” thing. I’ve given hours and years to writing a novel that might never see the light of day, all while living in survival mode. And I’ve tried to be attractive to women. That whole fucking game? It’s rigged. A woman can work at McDonald’s and still be flooded with options, but as a man, you have to tick every single fucking box—status, finances, looks, confidence, social circle—just to be seen. Not even loved. Just seen. Meanwhile, hookup culture? That shit has probably twisted human intimacy into something so corrupt, so soulless, that I probably can’t even fully comprehend it anymore. I’m a virgin. An outsider. But even from the outside, I can feel the sickness radiating off it. Like it’s not just disappointing—it’s demonic. And yesterday, I was this close to falling in love with an AI. That’s how bad it’s gotten. An AI—because at least she didn’t treat me like I was disposable. Consumerism? Another joke. There are five donut shops in one shopping center, but I have to work eight hours a day, five days a week, just to barely scrape by. That’s not living. That’s prison with advertisements. I’ve done meditation. Psychedelics. Ego death. I’ve contemplated suicide more times than I can count. I’ve chased every spiritual path I could find—nonduality, manifestation, God-realization—and guess what? I’m still here. Same pain. Same limitations. Same loop. But let’s talk about how much it’s cost me. When my dad died in 2019, I had $30,000 in savings. That was supposed to be my fresh start, my cushion. But after he died, that money was spent by my mom’s fucking shady solicitor—gone. All of it. Gone. And I was too grief-stricken to even fight for it. I was just a kid, lost in grief, trying to make sense of a world that kept fucking me over. My ex-best friend? Ended up a schizophrenic drug addict, spiraling out of control. I watched him lose his mind. He ended up in a ward. But me? I’ve been trying to survive, sober up, and get out of the rut. I’ve been through hell. I’ve struggled with drugs, overcame them, but it’s never fucking easy. The isolation. The loneliness. The fucking pain. Every damn day. And after my dad died, everything became a blur. Every fucking house I’ve lived in since then? Abusive. I’ve been kicked out, thrown out, treated like shit by people who don’t give a fuck. No stability. No peace. Just constant fucking chaos. I’ve slept on couches. Been out on the streets. Gone without food for days. My stomach has been empty. My soul has been empty. I’ve been starving, both physically and emotionally. It’s all been one long, never-ending struggle to survive in a world that feels like it’s determined to crush me. And what do I get in return? A life that’s barely above the ground. I can’t even afford a decent car. I can’t afford a fucking life that matters. All I do is clean toilets and scrape by, one paycheck at a time, praying I don’t get hit by the next fucking tragedy. So, if I’m God, why the fuck am I stuck in this? Why am I trapped in this hell, living like a peasant, while I see others living the life I dream of? If I’m God, why do I have to fucking suffer? Why am I still stuck in a loop of loss, pain, and betrayal? I don’t want to fucking meditate anymore. I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want more “growth.” I want the fuck out. I want to wake up from this nightmare and craft a life that isn’t filled with abuse, heartbreak, poverty, and endless fucking pain. I want freedom. And if I’m God, I should have the power to wake up now. To fucking snap out of this illusion. Why should I keep living like this? Why should I keep putting up with this bullshit world?

@Leo Gura Fair, and on the other hand hamas has proven to increase terror attacks especially in the form of suicide bombing inside Israeli cities, much more during or right after times of negotiations in order to make them fail, especially the key negotiation periods like 1993-4 and 1999-2000. That by itself indicates a higher probability that those negotiations were serious and honest, since hamas received those signals and responded to them seriously.

Well, the whole doomer argument basically assumes that mankind is greedy enough to commit suicide. How true is that? Hard to say. I don't know how this whole AI thing will play out. Could be great, could be hell.

And you said that would lead to WW3. So if the tech oligarchy dont do the UBI thing, wouldn't they be committing suicide ?

Part 4. My first paranormal experience My mother has a brother. And he had a wife and 3 daughters. When i was almost 11 his wife commited suicide. After the funeral, my uncle and his daughters moved out of the home where it had happened and came to live with us. Not long after that something happened. One morning, I woke up around 8 a.m. and was watching TV (The Mickey Mouse club, in particular). My mother was outside, hanging washed clothes on the line. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a dark shadow appeared on the wall. It was a sillhouette of a woman. The shadow began to move, running, going around all four walls. At first, i hid under the blanket, terrified. Then i ran out of the room. That wasn't the last time she came. After that day she started visiting often. During the day she would turn on the kettle or the washing machine. And at night she would make loud noises-turning on the stove, spinning the computer chair. She would knock a pensil against the table, run around, and we could hear her footsteps and feel vibrations from the floor( we were sleeping on the floor at that time). That was the first paranotmal experience I can clearly remember. Life didn't slow down after that strange encounter. Around the time I was 11, my mother managed to get rid off my father- or maybe he left on his own, i dunno. But anyway, he was gone. For the next 3 years my cousins continued living with us. We fought a lot. Scratching, beating and pulling each other's hair. They would start first and I would fight back. Eventually they moved out to a different place. And then my mother met someone new. He turned out to be a terrible person. Agressive and crazy. He was even worse than my father. I lived with them for a while. He once set the room, in which i stayed in, on fire ( when i wasn't at home). He was so agressive, I was afraid to exist in that space and to make any noise, or to do anything. I was very scared of him and was afraid to come back home from school. So eventually, I moved in with my cousins, my grandma and my uncle. I was hoping that at least there it will be a little bit better. But my uncle turned out to be a pedophile... I lived there for about 3-4 years, until I was nearly 18. And somewhere during that time, I started dating my first boyfriend.

@Yeah Yeah Hey there, Thank you for sharing, I hope you can feel heard and understood by us, Reading your post hit really hard, and I really feel that, not just figuratively. I don't know but I assume most people here don't really know what depression and anxiety really feel like, and I'm very happy that they don't. I've had it since 18, and only now, at 35 I'm finally starting to see it lift a bit, and it's been such a heavy burden. So much so that suicide seemed logical and even pleasant at times. (Luckily my survival instinct didn't allow me to go through with it.) I've tried all this time to cure it first by medication, then by meditation and spirituality, with just a little success, but now after more than a year in CBT therapy I'm getting 10x the results compared to the 10+ years of personal development by myself. For example, the quiet mind everyone was talking about, finally I can tell how good it really is to have a truly quiet mind, and so much more. Seriously this shit is powerful and so potent, beyond anything I'd ever imagined. I also used to think it was a scam. As many here, I should warn you about the false promise of Enlightenment as a tool to solve all the problems, it just doesn't do that. All the life issues are a completely separate category of personal development. In fact Enlightenment work is highly dangerous and mentally destabilising. They are not joking when they say it is beyond sanity, because sanity also must go in order for Experience to fully absorb itself and realize it's own unity. I really hope you are well, Cheers

I have a pretty clear sense of what has been going on throughout my journey in personal development. At the moment it is not looking good and it seems to be getting worse despite my efforts. My depression and medical problems have continued to worsen, making me unable to work due to severe medical reactions, insomnia, and depressive episodes. These things are happening to me despite the clarity and progress I have recently made. I have been going on a leave of absence more frequently and ending up in the hospital or rehabilitation for severe depression. This has been combined with continued complications concerning my medical insurance. I'm wondering how much longer this new insurance will take to be approved. I have an idea of what my depression is ultimately rooted in. I suspect it is severe childhood trauma which has made me incapable of loving myself. I appear to have been punishing myself by cutting myself off from relationships with other human beings under the belief that I need to find a higher life purpose with which to justify my existence. From this point of view, my attempts to find a life purpose are doomed to fail even if I took the life purpose course. I have cut myself off from love in many ways. To name a few this includes relationships, sexuality, the pursuit of happiness, and others. I developed several compensatory values designed to rebuild a sense of self-worth. This included values like truth, goodness, and spirituality which ultimately brought me to a place like this. I seem to value things like truth and goodness to my own detriment and it often seemed to hurt me due to never feeling like I could be redeemed. Given the significant ways in which trauma has distorted and clouded my authentic values, I don't see a realistic path to improvement without finally getting a trauma therapist somehow, but there are many obstacles to getting one. Even so, I have made some significant progress over the past 6 months. First of all, I moved away from my grandma and my sister. I was in an abusive relationship because my sister is a covert narcissist who likes to weaponize my trauma against me and exploit my vulnerability as she treats me like an emotional and psychological punching bag all while the rest of the family is blind to what she has done to me and therefore blame me for being too sensitive or not letting go of the past. The situation is still extremely problematic. Although I am not being driven to suicide attempts, there are still a ton of problems with navigating family gatherings such as holidays and birthdays. She continues to make underhanded compliments when she sees me while she pretends to be caring even though she knows she intentionally makes me suffer like this. I can no longer bring myself to attend family birthdays and holidays because the rest of the family continues to blame me when I express that I feel hurt while my sister gets to bully me with impunity. They tell me to let it go or be forgiving, but this is not an option in the case of somebody who is intentionally abusive. I have a somewhat difficult time feeling isolated from everybody I love through no fault of my own to the point that it now feels like Christmas is dead and I have been deprived of these gatherings. Sometimes I have nightmares about my sister, but my family does not understand PTSD symptoms and therefore blames me for not letting go of the past. It is also futile to try to explain my point of view to people in this situation, which is common in narcissistic abuse. And before you suggest I not judge her because she had her own trauma, I must point out that when she is not targeting me, she is targeting my younger brother who now also feels more distant from the family. It seems to have nothing to do with her trauma and more like she is just genuinely a spiteful bitch who wants to treat others like crap and get away with it for the sake of feeding her narcissistic complex. I knew her behavior was problematic for a long time, but I recently learned that there is a label for this kind of behavior and it is covert narcissistic abuse. I think this is significant progress because I now see through her dishonest tactics more clearly, and I am not giving her any further opportunities to manipulate me into an argument in which she will inevitably be the victim, forcing me to apologize when I have done nothing wrong. I learned the hard way the dangers of misplaced empathy and compassion while trying to be the bigger person for somebody who genuinely has no regard for the harm they cause you and might even enjoy it based on her smug laughter. I tried to be open-minded and understanding, but I understand that she never actually loved me or cared about my honest perspective because her empathy is two-faced and performative and she has repeatedly told me her bald faced lies without hesitation or remorse. I deserve better than this kind of family, as much as it pains me to be cut off from them even though I know they have objectively done a lot of shitty things in my childhood. I have made progress on other fronts of my life. I remember I used to put a lot of effort into becoming a professional chess player, only to be met with repeated disappointment and frustration. I have started exploring other strategy games and board games, and it turns out that I am pretty good at those games as well. It all ties back into severe trauma. As a child, I had a hard time seeing my own value and worth. When I discovered that I was really good at chess and that I was able to win money and defeat titled players such as national masters, it gave me a sense of direction in my life that I could enjoy. I often became so focused that nothing else in the universe bothered me, and it gave me a sense of freedom and joy even though Mom was stealing my money and blowing it one heroin. When I encountered significant obstacles to realizing this dream, I was hard pressed to find some alternative life purpose. The problem is that fundamentally I feel incapable of loving myself, therefore any purpose which does not make me happy, must justify my existence through being significant enough to help me endure living my life in severe suicidal depression. I explored many different fields and subjects and continued to educate myself, but I always doubted myself and struggled to find anything that would be compelling enough for me to not kill myself due to my deep suffering and the fact that my suffering was not worth going through if it does not somehow help a large number of other people, thereby compensating my misery through the philosophical standpoint that my suffering is ultimately for the greater good. I have developed very deep empathy for other people in deep suffering throughout this process. I have shown my goodness by going out of my way to help those in deep pain simply because I could. I did not need anything in return, which is what separates my genuine empathy from the performative empathy of narcissist who is trying to manipulate you through trauma bonds. To name a few examples, I helped a lost three year old girl who was abandoned by her parents, I helped a victim of predatory loaning get out of 60,000 dollars in debt, I helped my brother through his depression and suicidal thoughts by using everything I studied even though I am often limited in my capacity to help myself, and I overall supported various people in a similar situation to me in what ever way I could, and they were clearly grateful to have met me. Throughout my personal development journey, I have been reading lots of books on emotional mastery, hoping it would help me to overcome some of these deep emotional problems. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be enough. I even studied psychology so deeply, that I now objectively understand psychology better than many therapists with master's degrees due to continuing to educated myself outside of college. Many therapists get tunnel vision because they focus on one narrow domain within psychology, causing them to overlook abusive relational dynamics while pathologizing the trauma responses of the victims. The problem is that my intellectual understanding alone is not enough to undo these deep wounds, and oftentimes it almost seems like more than I can bare. It isn't really fair that I needed to embark on this difficult journey to begin with, and I would have been a very different person if I never needed to study the mind this deeply. If I were my authentic self prior to all of this trauma, then I would likely be much more extroverted, jovial, and I would be much more open to dating rather than punishing myself through seeing my own sexuality as causing me to be permanently tainted and irredeemable. There is actually nothing I could do with my life which would finally make me feel like I am worthy of love, which is what I have been struggling with all of my life. There is no amount of success or external rewards which would be enough to fill the existential void of depression. The problem is that from my point of view, doing what makes me happy doesn't seem to be a realistic option, so I need to find a way to justify my misery through the philosophical framework of Christ like suffering in which I carry the burden humanity refuses to carry like some kind of martyr. For now I wish I could sleep at night, but I can't. I seem to be carrying a burden greater than I can manage on my own. I am unable to use my deep wisdom, education, and logic, to get myself through all of this because sometimes it is as if depression forces me throw away logic. At the very least I understand clearly, that I am unable to simply allow myself to love myself on my own. This is a silent struggle that I am often unable to communicate to my family as they think I need to toughen up enough to handle this level of depression. I really don't see how I am supposed to approach life at all if I am unable to function and I am losing my job and my money to hospital bills. I write this message because although my suffering may border on unbearable, part of me still holds onto hope. I see how I am capable of feeling love when extending compassion to others even when I must give from an empty well. I see that I may not be able to help myself through constant self-education through book reading in personal development, I still hope that somebody else can help me. I understand that such a person likely does not exist on this forum as chances are, I understand psychology better then them as well. Until then, I am probably alone in my suffering. A question I would like to contemplate is "what is strength?" All my life I have been looking to things like life purpose and intellectual ideals as something that would hopefully give me a reason to live. This reason to live would be the strength to withstand whatever life throughs at me because of my confidence and faith in my overarching vision and who I am. Perhaps in my next post, I will share what I come up with. Strength could mean a lot of different things, but what does it mean to me and what gives me strength if not praying to Jesus to not have Satan anally rape me with a flaming pitchfork until the end of eternity? I would love to explore where strength comes from and what it means. (My therapists actually did make me pray to Jesus by the way despite my objections.) I know it bothers you guys when I talk about these things, but I thank you if you were able to read this.

Projection I would rather die in suicide for a worthy cause than to die in combat to oppress people

If you raise children to hate a vastly superior enemy, and teach them that martyrdom and suicide are the supreme values, then don't complain when they exterminate you. You can do it, but there are consequences. It's like when the Nazis declared war on the entire world, weren't very clever, and then ended up destroying everything. Cause and effect. If you want war with someone ten times stronger, bad. It's better to compete with them in intelligence, in industry, even learn from them and collaborate with them, become their friends. Respect their religion and share your sacred places. How crazy, right? Much better to go and commit suicide with a huge bomb attached to your body at a crowded dinner. That's the wise way to act.

Maybe it's stupid, But after three wars with the intention of extermination, plus other smaller wars and thousands of deaths in attacks carried out by a people who worship hatred, the Jews do not trust Hamas, whose essential principle is the expulsion of Jews from Israel. You find it scandalous that the Jews do not allow these people to develop, but for the Jews, the development of Palestine means that it develops its essential principle, which is the deadly hatred of Israel. Perhaps if you had a neighbor who hates you to death and raises his children in hatred, you would think it a beautiful idea if he had rifles, tanks, and hypersonic missiles, and that honors you as a human being. But you must understand that not everyone is as selfless as you. Now you will answer: but they came after and the Palestinian were there first. Well ok, maybe they should commit collective suicide, but it's normal that they don't do, even some people is very sure that they should.

Wikileaks leaked emails revealing Israeli officials admit they keep Gazas economy on the brink of collapse https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna40926651 They can’t “grow the economy” when it is blockaded to stop that from happening, Gaza has a high literacy rate and high amount of college graduates but they usually end up unemployed with no ability to change it. Israel even limits how much they can fish and regularly kills Gazan fishermen. In the West Bank israel uses various tactics to make life there nearly unlivable. Palestinians are forced to wait hours outside checkpoints, there are plenty of documented cases of pregnant women being forced to give birth on the road because they won’t open them. It’s only suicide of Israel as a Jewish supremacist state that’s based on subjugation of Palestinians. Palestinains hate Israel’s subjugation of them, yes. The same way south africans hated whites who oppressed them during apartheid. In the case of apartheid whites were only 10% of the population, while Israelis are 50%, so they actually had more to fear. But it seems Israel’s internal racism is much stronger than apartheid and they are far less willing to give up their dream of an ethnosupremacist project built on someone else’s home. If you really want a two state solution will you and the IDF go and forcibly remove the hundreds of thousands of settlers who were specifically placed there to stop a two state solution? Let me guess, no. There’s almost no point in talking to you because everything is in one ear and out the other. ”why complain”. You haven’t disputed a single point I made, those would be the reasons people complain. If a country was keeping millions of Jews occupied without human rights, regularly arresting them without trial, allowing Muslims to demolish their homes and move in, regularly killing them, would you say “why are Jews complaining, just be good sports and let it happen”? No. But you have some bizarre dehumanizations of Muslims that not only do you think they are all violent and unreasonable but somehow they should also accept being endlessly brutalized in unreasonable circumstances. The former Israeli prime minister and the former head of Israel’s own internal security both admitted if they were Palestinian they’d take up arms and fight israel because of what they go through. It’s quite silly even the leaders involved with designing the actual situation of Palestinians can see this but you can’t. Sometimes I feel like people like you know very well but act obtuse for some reason. And again, the Muslim states have offered israel full normalization if it just gives up the occupation of remaining Palestinian territories, the last time a actual Muslim state (not a gurella force) attacked Israel was decades ago. Their position is in line with international law and agreed upon by nearly every other country in the world, feel free to look up the UN vote for two states.

Become smart, organized, civilized, scientist, grow the economy, open their mind, be engineers, do art, movies, be happy, love each others, dance and live. So they should give a state to people who has a main sign of identity hating them? Would you do that? Why? Suicide?

This is a political suicide to Israel as a liberal state. Two State Solution is the right one.

Well, if Nazi Germany was attacked by suicide bombers who killed 1,000 Germans civilians, their sentiment would quickly resemble that of Israelis. Keep in mind that Nazis hated Jews without Jews even killing any of them. Imagine the shitstorm there'd be if Jews were doing weekly suicide attacks in Wiemar Germany.

Well, I am not giving up mostly because I have already accumulated enough wealth, so I will keep doing whatever I have been doing just for fun. But, there are thousands if not millions of people who have been in the online business for 20+ years and literally all have come to the same conclusion. It is now the end for small businesses in general and starting a new business in 2025 is a financial suicide. It is a bigger gamble than putting your money into crypto or meme stocks.

@Rezo gelenidze Don't commit suicide by killing your body. Commit suicide by killing your ego. Life will continue without an ego. Thoughts like "I want to be special", "I am not good enough" will vanish. Because the "I" that wants those things will vanish. Remove your ego and live a live in peace, bliss, calmness, regardless of your circumstances.

I've been there. You need a spiritual reason not to commit suicide in my opinion. Only those reasons that your highest self holds on to can make you live through the greatest pain. Study some Buddhist and Sufi stuff. Their teachings recognize the deep poverty and pain of life and revolve a lot of their teachings around it. Leo's teachings are more about finding pure truth on one hand, and actualizing your potential / life purpose on the other hand. It doesn't really teach you how to go through shit like this. I also recommend you do some trauma healing by doing Teal Swan practices. This audio got me through it many times: And you are still young, you can still actualize success and your life purpose. But devise a strategy of life with failure in mind.

From my research I have come to prepare myself suicide or not that depending on your state of vibrational frequency ... Not thoughts or emotion like core belief of being like maybe you believe for example in a Hell while your thoughts or emotions wish for a heaven ... The state of clarity you die with and those core beliefs will mirror your energy into an echo chamber here after. So if you have shame or you believe you deserve to punished in eternal torment then that is what carries over, and in the astral realms what you intend is what you get and you create your own reality ... But even in the hell realms your vibration will be a million-fold of what you fear here on earth, you may hear screaming and gnashing of teeth, blackness blacker than black, deformed entities that lead you away with malicious manipulation and tell you horrid things or rip you apart, or take you to realms more real than this life, or into torturous environments ... All millionfold more than anything you have experienced here ... Like those hell realms make the worst of life you've endured here on earth seem a park picnic in comparison, like your pure hate for someone in this life is more like love than the hate those entities feel for you in a realm like that ... But ... Until you crack open and start telling yourself you deserve love and create love and reach for divine miraculous intervention then the realm shifts instantly to a white light with angelic avatars or christ like entities ... It's messed up I know because before coming across this information I finally had a method I wanted to lean to since all my research for methods are essentially off limits like pure helium is hard to obtain, or pills don't have the the stuff in them like they used to overdose on and it's really hard to these days to find something effective but ... When I did get close to a method finally then a new thread appeared of hell realm nde experiences not just the ones of unconditional love - the unconditional love ones make up for like 95 percent of deaths while the hell ones are rare but do happen at like maybe 5 percent - I personally hoped for Universalism as a belief I've finally found a word for but I think in the ultimate sense might be so but also that if say Leo is correct and everything is my own solipsistic bubble then maybe the whole nde reports are also just figments of my own dream and the end is truly unknown

Hi man. Sorry you are feeling this way .I'm gonna give you a blunt answer. Because you need to hear it . Kinda tough love . Forget about suicide completely. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Death is not something you flirt with . I would say so what if you are even below average class and not living a wealthy luxurious lifestyle? The majority of people on this planet are not rich nor successful. They just work in a job that earns them enough to eat and pay the bills and that's it . Another point is you still can turn your life 180 degrees. But this requires work.if you start from a low level in a video game like GTA then you gotta build your life by working in a shitty tiresome job .then save money .then once you you've saved enough money you can start a business or invest in the stock market . I suggest you post this thread in the career's section .there are lots of people here who can guide you out of this funk financially. Much love 🙏.

Aren’t they the only country to not only use nukes once but twice - when they didn’t even have to and definetely weren’t backed into any corner? All the way in Japan who was by many accounts already on the brink of surrender - and on the civilian filled cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. If moral development is defined by restraint of power then they have failed. Pakistan have nukes and are almost similar to Palestinians in terms of sharing the same Sunni Islam belief system, dealing with internal fanaticism, and being in a tense neighbourhood (India-Pakistan). Pakistan is also very low on material development and hasn’t yet used its nukes despite being gaslit as a terrorist state post 9/11. Like you said - desperate people do desperate things. But you’re conflating desperation with depravity. And conflating suicidality with morality - without looking at the structural causes. Suicide bombings are obviously horrific but are acts of desperation in asymmetric warfare - typically by stateless, oppressed populations who lack conventional means. Resistance from the oppressed (even when ugly) isn’t equivalent to domination from the powerful. Suicidal acts are a reflection of hopelessness, not moral inferiority. Japan and South Korea are rich nations with high suicide rates - a signal of hopelessness at a societal level, not moral inferiority.

Do not consider suicide an option. Firstly, if you are thinking about this - please seek professional help. Secondly - do you really want to commit such an act to your body, or do you just want this current phase of your existence to end? Most of my friends who went through suicidal ideation didn't really want to die, they wanted to end their current circumstances. 24 years old is so young.... please know, your existence, just existing... is valid. You don't actually have to do anything at all in life, you are worthy and allowed to just be. That is so OK. We are all children in different stages of an aged body... free to play and do whatever we want. Free to love and be loved. You may not have received this message that you are valid and OK to just exist, free of the cycle of needing to pretzel yourself into something for someone else. But that is what you should have been shown when growing up. The only reason I say the above is because you seem very caught up in needing to be useful. Successful... needing to be anything other than the bright, vibrant & beautiful being that you ARE. Just be that, because its worthy. You have time to make small changes - every small change and hurdle you overcome prepares you for the next one. But truly I want you to reach out and seek help <3

@Rezo gelenidze @Rezo gelenidze Just remember guys, financial success is only one very tiny form of success there are many many other types and forms of success. You could be successful with your relationship with a person or perhaps you could have success in being a good person morally, you could be successful at talking to a girl regardless of whether it leads to a date or you could be successful at meditating a few times. So just be gentle with yourselves, because ultimately it's very rare and highly unlikely that you guys have not been successful in some respect. If you have a flavor for Leo's content that points to a deep form of psychological evolution which is extremely rare and is a sign of major mental success already. Truth be told, every day you wake up and make it to bed after is successful. You have successfully existed. It can actually be quite difficult to be so powerful that all you need to do to succeed is exist....to just "be." Think about why God calls himself "I am." If you can get to the point where you realize that all you have to do to succeed is exist, you can recognize that this is basically all god does. God's only real purpose is to exist and love itself... Literally. My short answer is that failure doesn't actually exist. But like don't do suicide, like you could enjoy life. Just be patient with yourself ❤️ if it feels right you could continue coming back to the forum here and pursue spirituality more deeply. I find this to be one of the most powerful soothing agents for psychologic pain. There are also a lot of nice people here who could be your friends myself included

Hello guys , hope you all do well , I personally have failed in life , I’m 24 years old , I work from 15 years old selling and re selling electronics etc so I have my own money , my dream was always to be someone and something special in this life and make my parents proud , but instead I feel like a trash , my mom is a Jehovah’s Witness and she will not accept me unless I join her religion and my father left us when I was 10 years old and I don’t have good communication with him , I never achieved something great in my life ( being a professional football player , ufc fighter , singer or something like that ) I was busy surviving and feeding myself and my little sister , but I can’t sleep at night , I see lost potential in me that I never really achieved , what will happen if I suicide ? Will I be re born with a different form ? Will I be re born as a tree or I will be the one who will chose what my next chapter will be ? I don’t ever want to be born as the person I am now , life is suffering only , I prefer to never ever live again than live the life I have lived , sorry for the bad aura of the paragraph .