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Don't you think that full enlightenment is possible? Like you become so aware of the dream that you consciously envision the dream? Without the forgetting part. Before my ego death, I dreamed that some beings said Happy birthday to me. Now it makes sense why, omg.

@Persipnei But i feel like full enlightenment means physical death automatically. Is that the actual point of this? To prepare you for the death? Oh boy

Hey all, two days ago I had a spectacular awakening experience on 300 mcg of LSD which made all of my previous ego death trips look like mere foreplay in comparison. At its peak, it really did feel like full "Enlightenment", like a complete falling away of the veil --- like I just solved the riddle of existence and there's nothing left to do or achieve after this! Now, the thing is that I have been feeling pretty low and agitated lately; just two weeks ago, the person who I used to regard as my very best friend and - to use a somewhat sappy expression - spiritual companion in this current phase of my life told me in no uncertain terms that he doesn't want anything to do with me from now on. Needless to say, this left me feeling crushed. However, I feel like this "unfortunate" event and the resulting inner turmoil has been the very thing that gave my LSD trip such an intensely transcendent quality; it truly made me aware of the powerful emotional undercurrents that run my entire life and keep me perpetually stuck in ego mode -- and it also showed me that all of this personal pain and turmoil is just a stream of karma that's running along like a river through eternity and will eventually flow back into the sea of infinite consciousness; there is really nothing else to do but to let it run its course! To be clear, I would advise everyone who is starting out with psychedelics to only trip whenever they're feeling halfway secure and good about themselves; "better safe than sorry" is certainly a good guide line if you're a psychedelic newbie. But now that I do have a couple of acid trips under my belt, it seems to me that tripping when you're in a comparatively "bad state" can actually have the potential to supercharge your trip and give it that certain edge that might be necessary for you to truly transcend the ego. What do others think about this? Are there any fellow psychonauts here who have made similar experiences?

Hes not asking if you should speculate if someone is enlightened or not. He probably knows that already its silly to care. If someone is claiming full blow enlightenment nothing wrong with speculating. @sausagehead I like this guy a lot he seems like a good hearted dude and me and him have some very similar personality traits and both make wacky videos about counciness. However he is making some bold claims, that he is fully enlightened in a very short amount of time. I think he def has had some kind of awakening but I don't think he's even close to fully enlightened but then again my bench mark for full enlightenment is very high. As shinzen young said 3 months of none stop torture without one moment of suffering. I don't think frank would last a day. But I could very well be wrong and I hope for his sake I am. Much love and respect to him tho he is doing some great things and is highly creative

Hello actualized forum! Its been a little while since being semi active here, but I'm happy to be back with something to share. I remember seeing many wonderful meditation, retreat, and trip reports here that offered me some valuable help and encouragement at times and would be delighted if I am able to offer some encouragement, aid, or at the very least provide some momentary entertainment : ) I will be trying to relate the trip as it was experienced and in the context that I understood it, because of this there will be decent amount of reference to a work known as the Law of One; for no other reason then it was the context from which much of my experience was interpreted. Ive read many spiritual works but for whatever reason my brain chose this one to give context to my experiences, it is very true that I have frequently found its framework applicable and useful for understanding reality around me so that definitely played a role in why my brain picked that context. The terminology borrowed from it should be self explanatory enough for a reader to understand without being familiar with the work if they are somewhat familiar with other metaphysical jargon. But for those interested I'll leave a few links here. For a fairly succinct yet comprehensive overview and introduction I'd recommend Aaron Abke's series about the law of one on Youtube, heres a link to first episode of that series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seaJcY0kXjk&t=2s. And for those who wish to engage more fully with the material the entire work is available for free online, link: https://www.lawofone.info/ Before getting started I would like to ask that readers first read this quote that sums up well my concerns with posting this report and agree before diving in "we would ask that each of you that listens to or reads these words use your discrimination and your powers of discernment to decide that which is helpful to you and that which is not interesting. Let those words of ours which do not rouse your interest slide by without a second thought. Focus on those concepts you feel may be helpful. If you will take the responsibility of using that discrimination we shall relax and not be concerned with the possibility of infringing upon your free will or interrupting the rhythm of your spiritual walk. We thank you for this consideration." Trip report: I had been in the months previous feeling a strong urge to trip again. It had been about a year since my last big trip, which is usually about how long is required for me to digest and attempt to embody or ground the ethereal themes and lessons of a intense trip using the medium of everyday life and various spiritual practices . By now I had new questions and new roadblocks I was struggling with, as well as feeling a strong need for a renewal of inspiration, and found my self praying often for insight, clarity, and aid reorganizing my perceptions and beliefs, I was feeling a bit lost. I was still full of faith I was on the path that was right for me but I was becoming somewhat discouraged and frustrated with my progress, ignorance, and the stubbornness of many challenges. I had obtained the LSD totally unexpectedly and spontaneously earlier that day and was trying to figure out how I wanted proceed. I had 10 tabs of 150 ug, roughly, with lsd its always ballpark range and the source wasn't even confident with that figure to begin with, but basically it was strong stuff, I wouldn't be surprised if they were actually 200ug tabs. Logically the timing wasn't right, for one my room was somewhat messy, and I prefer to intentionally prepare for at least a week or so before trips. I had been in a pretty challenging headspace for awhile, and setting wasn't ideal, just at my apartment with a roommate due to come home from work later. None of the conditions made sense for the trip to happen that night but i had this really intense internal push and this feeling of rightness, I couldn't shake it. I went back and forth for a few hours and by now it was getting really late into the evening, which was just another reason not to go for it tonight even though I'm typically a late night owl, but the internal push and feeling of rightness was getting more intense and before I knew it I had pinched off 2 tabs and they where in under the tongue, no turning back now, this was roughly around 10:30 pm. My room was still messy so I decided to go into a quick cleaning frenzy while I awaited take off, to some good tunes of course. I'm rather experienced with this chemical and can gauge the intensity of a trip by the speed of the come up, It was 20 min in when my visuals were slightly misbehaving and my body felt interesting to the degree that I could tell it was going to be a intense trip, in the neighborhood of ego death but I didn't feel like it was going to cross that line, I really needed to cross that line however so I debated eating 1 more tab as I continued to clean. My emotions where still in the challenging headspace they had been in for the past while but the feelings I was struggling with were getting thicker, intense boredom and disinterest, a screeching apathy, frustration with my consuming desire to find the divine in tandem with my perceived lack of agency to effect that outcome and ability to find it. Quick sidenote for any inexperienced psychonauts reading, it is highly recommended to not trip with a heavily challenging internal setting until you are very comfortable in your ability to surrender, whatever your holding inside is amplified by psychedelics, you become hyper conscious of it, which can be a fantastic way to get to the root of difficult issues quickly but if the negative intensity isn't surrendered to and is instead resisted things go south very quickly and sometimes in dramatic fashion. Basically I could tell this was going to be a challenging trip, but that feeling of rightness was still present. About 40-50 min in my room was about clean to my satisfaction and the visuals and body load was steadily increasing, It was time for a nice long walk, I popped a third tab and was on my way outside. I took a familiar trail through the back of a nice neighborhood until reaching my secret path through the bushes and out to the train tracks where I could get some space, privacy, and view a landscape with less development and more nature. As I walked the internal pressure and challenging emotions just kept build and building. I was wearing headphones playing some vibey music which was progressively sounding more intricate and beautiful and the visuals were becoming fairly fantastic, but that all seemed far far away and somewhat mundane, I didn't care, my sense of boredom with reality was amplified to a titanic almost cartoonish degree, pffht pretty lights huh.. whatever, who cares. It will be relevant for later, near the end, to note now that the sky was smoked over from all the wildfires and only the moon was partly visible. I had reached the train tracks and walked down them for a ways, but the body load was getting pretty intense and I could tell walking just wasnt really gonna work well for much longer so I found a nice sitting rock and plopped down facing a open field with one building under development in view but it was a fairly scenic view regardless. At this point the visuals were becoming very intense, it was becoming difficult to understand what I was looking at, about as intense I can ever remember having them but surprisingly I could care less, I was utterly uninterested in them. The internal pressure had become immense. I still had enough sense composed to remember to set my intentions for the trip at this point, what would I like to explore, what do I need? I had a strong intellectual grasp of oneness, but where was it? I wanted to experience oneness like I experience sight or sound, I wanted to know it in my bones. Next was a opposite problem, I had a few peak experiences of unconditional love but i didn't understand it at all. What were the mechanics, how can I do it? I understand relative love but how does one just open the faucet, how can someone like Jesus just love every single stranger or how do you love perceived evil? Just intellectually understanding that you should because of oneness and understanding that it ultimately is for the evolution towards perfection isn't enough to actually do it. And lastly I wanted to be free from deeply embedded conditioning that just wouldn't go away, particularly shame and judgement. They were so deeply and heavily instilled in me as a child raised in a religious upbringing, and even though I understood the mechanics in and out, could clearly see their folly and unreality, even could trace it to particular instances of their relative traumatic instillation in childhood, they still stubbornly would persist and rear their head again and again every time I was sure I had them conquered. Luckily setting these intentions was effective even without my usual week of preparation because this stuff was so intensely heavy on my mind throughout the year enough that I was primed to explore that direction without the extra preparation. Without realizing or barely noticing I had turned off my music and set my headphones aside. The internal pressure was extraordinary now, at a exploding point. I could feel my ego being pulverized into oblivion, extreme hopelessness, tangible feeling of dying, but there was still some recognition that it was a ego that was being pulverized not me so there was also a calm resignation, I had been here before enough to know there was no point resisting, time to just lie back and die. It continued like that for awhile until the pressure couldn't get anymore intense and then finally the pop. I could hear a sound, first just bubbling up then slowly it broke into wild fits, Its laughter, Im laughing, It's all just a big joke. It's so blindingly obvious now, there is no person here but yet there I am, everywhere. The feeling of "me" stops ending at the edge of my skin and now spills over into everything( or everything into me?). I become the god mind and through those eyes see everything crystal clear. Visuals are going absolutely wild, flashing, swirling, whirling. I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed, I cant tell if I even have eyes, and I don't care even a lick, open or shut, eyes or no eyes, I can see, I can finally see. I AM, I just AM, and the concept of anything else is impossible. Infinity unending, One giant eternal being. Thoughts race by, if you can call them thoughts anymore, you can't, but its the best word I have. Im flying through my library of intellectual learnings about reality, only now it wasn't just stuff in my head from a book etc, I could actually see it, I was it. Particularly what I learned from study of the Law of One was illuminating. The 7 densities of consciousness? That and so much more beyond, infinitely more. Yes I immaculately planned out each and every step, for myself. I became aware of my old ego as a small fraction of myself interacting with my bigger self all for the experience of knowing itself. Wild laughter now. Bliss Oh beautiful wonderful bliss. I had created reality for myself, buy why? FOR LOVE!!! Love was the most (more?) true expression of what I was (easier to explain towards the end). I am wonderful, Perfect in all imperfections, imperfections were obvious illusions only serving to point to greater perfection. Just as a devotee offers up their very being in love of god, god creates all of reality in love for them. Still my sense of being had no boundary, my eyes still closed, I could see( sense?) a bug crawling next to my body, It was me, It too was infinitely loved and it had a reality crafted just for it, purely out of love. My laughter grew more ecstatic. It wasn't just love, No one emotion is big enough for what we are, and we are capable of feeling a infinite amount of emotions at once, each at full intensity without diminishing other emotions. A wild bliss, a giggling mischievous playfulness. This was fun!! Oh we are so huge, so infinite. It was a unending ever shifting delight finding new ways to experience ourselves, new ways to become ourselves, but first, infinite ways to trick ourselves. To throw up shifting shadows upon the wall, pretending to be separate, to really believe in all that toil and trouble all that fear and sorrow, for a brief moment. And then to a playful melody, bit by bit, let pieces of truth arrange the shadows in a infinite miraculous ways that reveal the hand casting them, your own hand, and to wake back up in the most fresh and brilliant ways. Having really fallen for our own trick of separateness we get have a ever renewing and infinite variety of discovering and experiencing ourselves and myriad of ever deepening ways. There was a deep sense that everything was indescribably perfect and designed with endless compassion, that the pain and fear experienced in the game of seperatness was always just what it needed to be in order to experience a totality of perfection in a greater bigger picture, and what in the smaller picture looks like gods cruelty and neglect is in the greater more true picture vast loving compassion, no shortcuts no cutting corners, only the best will do for you, you want it this way. It is similar to a parent and a child going through potty training. To the child it may seem like great cruelty went the parent stops cleaning the mess and makes the child struggle and suffer to obtain sovereign independence over the process to the point where there is no mess made for the child suffer from, in the greater picture if the parent never let the child become independent that would be a true cruelty. There was awareness that separateness was just one of many stages or games we played with ourselves. It was the hide and seek stage, everyone understands in a almost primal way the great fun of a good game of hide and seek as a child, so to of course does god. Here my attention changed focus and just as I had seen the bug in my minds eye I could also see all the human other selves, lost, fearing themselves, fearing the shadows on the wall. They too were just "me"& I loved them so dearly. I could see how the bigger self was always trying to comfort and caress them but they slapped the attempts away in wild fear, and the bigger self respecting his own free will waited patiently. I just wanted to comfort them and sing "All is well". But I could also see that all is indeed well and that they were perfectly placed in a perfect plan and that even then everything was molded into reality specifically just for them in just the right way for their own infinitely expanding and ultimately joyous journey. They were me after all and nothing but the best would do, even if it was very challenging. I had a distinct feeling, like a message for the old ego I used to be and would return too, that I was not to try to forcefully let anyone in on the secret, on the unity, unless they asked of course, with words or with the wordless desire that shines from a genuine seeker, that it would be rather bad sport to try and rush their game, it was already perfectly tuned and not to spoil any grand finales and glorious peaks of clear sighted ecstacsy before their time. For little self to stay out of big self's way as to say, I also got the sense that it wouldn't work anyway if i tried but that it certainly would play out less then harmoniously. I Could understand that loving wisdom was to know but to not let anybody else know that you know, Just play your cards correctly with a wink and playful grin. Maybe a assurance that everything will be okay, if needed. Next my attention moved to understanding the service to self vs service to others polarity and as a unintended consequence I also got resolution on understanding the odd and seemingly negatively polarized connections and undercurrents behind the mundane world's happens that I had been becoming increasingly aware of in those times hitherto that I turned my attention to the world stage. Which was more often then usual of late in the interesting year that 2020 has been. Ok, brief interlude here before continuing, I hesitated on wither or not to include this part in the trip report, as the exciting but ultimately less important elements of it may likely be weighted with a improper emphasis compared to more important understandings about the self that can be gleaned from it, but their are valuable understanding about polarity ahead as well so I have decided to share. Although before we proceed Id like to emphasis the quote from the beginning asking that you take only what is helpful to you, using discernment, and leave the rest. I will not be trying to convince anyone and will be staying vague about some details to honor free will, so dont try to start arguments over this please, if you get that urge just leave that part behind and only carry what feels useful. Ok moving on with the trip now. Beyond the vast multitudes of other self I saw trapped in fear there was a great and majestic being. My sense of them seemed to shimmer and dance, they were intoxicating, glimmering and dazzling, and beckoning as if they had something I didn't, a secret that maybe they would let me in on. My clarity however was no longer perfect I couldn't perceive what that secret could be, gods eyes had withdrawn slightly from me although i was still perceiving vastly more then my normal perception, In hindsight I realize my ego needed to be present for this part, although its brief return was stealthy and I didn't notice until after it faded again. The great majestic being continued to dance overwhelming me with magnificence, it clearly wanted to me to follow, the message was clear, do you behold my majesty? come closer, follow me and i can teach you how to shine like no other. Telling me that with them I could be greater, that none would compare to me, that I could blaze with majesty so as to be as hard to behold as the sun. I was momentarly very confused and, I must admit, quite tempted. Being fresh from experiencing reality from the eyes of the infinite creator I could not deny that this being exemplified much of those qualities. It was magnificent, yet playful, vast and glorious, but there was just something off, something I couldn't put my finger on. I could feel pressure to choose something, to follow, but as is my nature I began to obsess on the thing shrouded in ignorance, what was it that I couldn't put my finger on? I must know and I wasn't going to budge from that spot until I understood. Then realization hit me like lightning. Why this being felt different then the presence that was looking through my eyes earlier. What could it have for me that wasn't already there? We are literally the same eternal being how can I gain anything from it that wasn't already present? The difference in presence was this being was like a black hole, drawing all into itself with its magnificence, where the presence that I experienced earlier was radiant like the sun with its magnificence, freely giving, not some here and some there but just bathing all in unity with its love. After realizing this some portion of clarity returned but not as much as before, I could clearly see that this being had the same beingness or substratum as the rocks besides me or as the great many other selfs trapped in the thick cocoons of fear. Then I saw from the many selves trapped in fear was flowing a energy ( maybe attention I think), this energy flowed from the fear cocoons and was drawn in a great swirling vortex towards and adsorbed into the greater being that was tempting me. Then their was this knowing realization that this great being was ,to its own unawares, about to have a graduation of sorts. Then a realization that while this was a great cosmic event in some perspectives that in the biggest most zoomed out picture this great beings climatic drama was no less important then the journeys of all the many souls agonizing in their fear cocoons and being fed upon, I felt a deep saddness and desire to comfort them. The great being was beckoning still and offering to teach and I felt like I was at a cross roads. To make my own separateness sparkle or to help comfort those other selves lost amid the great play. I figured whatever that great being had I had to have it as well and didn't need him to find it, we were really the same eternal being ultimately after all, and that id rather seek the infinite creator in my own way while doing my best to help alleviate the vast suffering in whatever small measure I could. As soon as I made this choice a weight faded and full clarity returned again for a time, I could see from gods eyes more fully again. I saw clearly then some mechanics of the service to self and service to others selves polarities. Firstly they were both correct and true although I would say one has a trueness that is a order or magnitude higher then the other( ill try to explain this at the end) Wither one seeks the glory of the infinite creator in ones own self only or in other selves as well, they are correct, it is indeed glorious, infinite, and worthy of all praise and adoration. For a moment try and think of the path of evolution towards perfection of self as one mountain with many paths up to the summit. The main difference between service to self vs service to other selves is really only that of difficulty when all is ultimately said and done. Service to other selves involves freeing oneself from the darkness of separation and seeing all beings as their own beloved self, for where else can authentic service arise but out of a genuine perception that to aid another is to aid oneself, it is literal selfishness just seen with correct perception. For service to others is like climbing that mountain of growth with many paths in such a way that you seek to drop all weight (darkness ignorance, etc)and link arms with your fellows and bear each other up the road. Service to self however is similar but with a important distortion, a service to self entity is not ignorant per say of the underlying unity, they are not dumb and have full access to wisdom, but preferring to maintain that last thin strip of darkness they choose to see separation, having had full taste of both the light and the darkness, they prefer to walk in the dark. While maintaining this strip of darkness they authentically perceive that to serve ones self is to serve the creator, and they are not wrong per say. Theirs is to walk that mountain of growth with many paths in such a way that they decide to keep their weights thinking them to be useful and to set off on the path alone fighting off any who get near, of course the fighting off and carrying of all this extra weight is more difficult then it would otherwise be and their own energy is not sufficient to bear them to the summit. Becoming malnourished, they wait on the side of the road for another unsuspecting self to wander past, to which they then pounce upon and attempt to commandeer their resources for themselves and thereby continue on their journey to the summit. To say it another way I saw then when one dispels darkness completely and puts their attention steadfastly upon the unity of all things, they gain acess to a infinite supply of energy freely given from Self to self, because by perceiving yourself as one with that infinite energy it becomes yours because it truly is yours. While service to self entities do perceive their own unity with the infinite creator they maintain the strip of darkness not percieving the unity of other self with the infinite creator ( although they do understand it on a intellectual level) and thus they do not gain full access or identification with infinity, this leaves their own energy insufficient for infinite growth, they become like the parasite of nature, needing to siphon and commandeer the energy of others selves to continue forward. However in the case of that great being I witnessed feeding upon the beings of the earth, I interpreted the feeling of it being a graduation drama as that being having reached the pinnacle of growth possible without love, or the full unshrouded perception of other self as the self. And unawares to itself, it was about to shatter its own carefully maintained strip of darkness by merit of its own growth and progression. It fully believing it had been successful in its attempt to make the unreal real, believing that it really could be separate. Having sought to clothe its separateness in all the sparkling glory of infinite creation, that it could really become a second source, a second infinity. But it had a blind spot, it still had to suffer from fear, like the other selves upon which it fed it too had a fear cocoon, Its fear cocoon was thin and vast it was almost imperceptible but still it was a finite container, not infinity. It could not see its own cocoon because it did not want to see, this not wanting to see being a mechanic of all fear and its only means of survival for it can never survive the light of clarity. It still feared that the perception of other selfs as being its own very self would be necessary for further progression, which would make it impossible for it to fed off of them with untouchable callousness. Upon its graduation that fear would be realized. It having become too great to become any greater without bursting the finite edges of its carefully maintained darkness. After gaining the eyes of full clarity that being would no longer be able to continue the harvesting of others and would have to reverse polarity in order to continue its growth. Looking at it myself now from the eyes of infinity again, I felt many emotions at the same time all in fullness. Pride, I was proud of that being, they were a fool but a great fool, they had grown so much, through so much anguish and through such a difficult road, and it truly did sparkle with glory. Humor, it was a incredibly rich joke, god has a endless sense of humor, the Irony was exquisite, they thought they had won, and they really had, just not in the way they thought they would. At the pinnacle of its separateness and glory the next step towards growth would bring the whole illusion crumbling down as its prize was to see the throne of tortured souls upon which it sat as non other then itself, with no more option of darkness to cover it for it had become too great to fool even if it was trying to fool itself. And compassion and sorrow, eagerness to comfort the trapped souls and nudge them gently bit by bit into their own progress, and eagerness for that great being to also drop its immense suffering and come back into the fullness of light, God had not forgotten about any of them even for a second and was patiently waiting to sound the bell and again declare all is well. Before wrapping up I will try to explain what a meant by love and service to others having a greater "trueness". How can multiple things be true but one have a greater trueness then the other? If one thing is real yet if its realness depends upon something more fundamental in order to be and cant be without the more fundamental ascpect then it can be said the the more fundamental aspect is more true and that the other is a distortion of the light or a illusion of sorts. Another way to explain is by degenerating iterability, upon each cycle of iteration it degenerates or suffers entropy and eventually must reach a point where it can iterate no more revealing its illusionary nature. Anything of a illusionary nature must get its "realness" from something more fundamental, your beingness is the most fundamental thing possible so all illusions ultimately sustain themselves using your attention, you give them reality. So if one steadfastly puts their attention into their own nature they pass through and disillusion all the "shadows on the wall" cast by their own hand, finding only the eternal I AM. The feeling of this eternal I AM is bliss and love( unless their is some even more deep and more amazing expression yet unknown to me) That is the most fundamental reality. Fear, negativity, separateness will always just be temporary games played upon a more fundamental ground, they can not be other then illusion. In way of wrapping up ill share a beautiful universe wink that was gifted to me after returning back to my normal ego. About a week prior to this trip I had been walking the same path and standing upon the same train tracks listening to a wonderful Youtube channel by the name of Brain Scott doing a video on understanding the higher self from the changelings of Quo. The material was really resonating with me and at one point, someone had some question on direct communication with the higher self and the response what anything is possible its literally you from the future so to say, so they wont do anything that would infringe upon its own (your) free will as they of all people know how important that is to growth, but went on to say that within those bounds anything is possible they could even make the stars dance by way of communication if you believed it was truly possible for them to do so. I was in a very loose mood that night and in a embarrassing flight of fancy I asked exactly that to put the theory to the test. I liked the idea of a higher self but never had any interaction or reason to give the idea any substance. I meditated for a second to give my self a fair shot at believing it was possible and literally asked to see the stars dance and know it was from my higher self.... yea nothing. I was in truth a bit disappointed but seeing as the free will clause was included I consoled myself that it didn't necessary disprove it, resigned myself to ignorance on the topic and I went home. Fast forward a week back to my trip on that smoky night. The visions or eyes of clarity or however you call such a phenomena was dying down and I was coming down from that intense peak. It was probably around 2-3 am at that point. I found, had a normal enough sense of ego and having a body again to move, and so I walked up and down the tracks listening to music and trying to digest overwhelming experience I just had. I walked for about a hour until I felt like a could interact somewhat properly with my roommates should I have to upon returning home. Went home grabbed a new water bottle, wrote a poem, and read a few chapters of the book I was reading ' apprenticed to a Himalayan master, a yogi's autobiography' by Sri M while I waited for my phone to charge so I could have music when I went out for another walk ( I cant be kept indoors long while tripping). After all that I set out again, maybe roughly 4:30 am at this point. I felt much more put back together by this point although the visuals were still roaring and I was still drenched in bliss, now very appreciative of the vast splendor before me. I make it back to that same spot on the train track, the same spot I had the "vision" and the same spot I prayed to the higher self a week prior, without thinking to do it first, as I was absorbed in the landscape, I happened to finally look up. The smokey sky was now completely clear and pristine and before my eyes was a something truly spectacular that I will never forget as long as I live, a unending vast ocean of stars brilliant beyond words.... and they were dancing right before my eyes. I had not thought about my silly request once since making it but now it came rushing back to my mind and I wept tears of pure gratitude. As a parting farewell Id like to share the poem I wrote that night. I wish you all the very best and hope you enjoyed the trip report : ) Ever soaked with that precious feeling, the up welling ground of that all knowing & all being A beautiful pure tone over a eternal heart beat All is well All is well A up and down forever swell but All is well All is well Bonus material : When I returned from my second walk my PC was on Youtube, as I had watched a music video right before leaving. And a video titled: Full enlightenment happening live( 1st time in human history), was the first video suggested. The title tickled me so I gave it a watch. Great idea, great inspiration, I had been in a slump where where my personal practice had gotten a bit lazy due to feeling quite discouraged that it too difficult to walk this journey full force while fighting off all the heavy influences of society. But here was this frank guy who used to be a bodybuilder who pulled ridiculous stunts in public for attention, such as having sex in the street and arguing with a female monk about her repressed desires on a public transport in his underwear. As the video shows he had progressed incredibly far in 5 years of intense mindfulness practice, huge transformation. I found this incredibly inspiring and found my motivation to break through my own plateau in meditation rejuvenated. Here's a link to that video if anyone is interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t8KvdMtT4A Here's some vibey songs that played on my second walk that I found very delicious, for anyone randomly looking for some new tunes Love by andrew appelpie Good Swim by Thalab Forgiven by Jim-E Stack comatose by Low hum Air by s. lyre underwaterfall by bearcubs pale blue dot by big wild Tiferet by lsdream Those who are familiar with the law of one may get a kick out of this: the tabs I took had pictures of a radiant sun on them ; )

Exactly. So if you, as god, have decided to have this experience, is it not egoic to seek full enlightenment? not a way to try to escape from this experience? . you as god have created very firm barriers that create a separate identity. Why dissolve them permanently?

What he calls full enlightenment is very different from Leo's version of full enlightenment

Adyashanti had an emotional, passionate talk on racism and BLM just a couple weeks ago, you can find it on his Youtube. Plus again, deconstructed worldview is equivalent to or atleast part of high spiral development, so if what you were saying were true, this would be speaking for their spiral development. Again, you keep projecting and assuming all kinds of things about these teachers, placing them on the spiral according to the culture they came from and how lovey vs aggressive they teach. This is flawed. I’d argue many of the teachers you confidently placed on blue and green, ARE actually turquoise. IF they are really fully enlightened, to the standard I hold full enlightenment, which includes deconstructed worldview and transcendence of fabrication.

Here’s where I disagree with both of you. Remaining belief in mental programming = not full enlightenment, plain and simple. This whole discussion stems from a muddied, unnuanced and low standard for enlightenment. We need to agree on the terms and take multiple stages of enlightenment into account for this discussion to even make sense.

I agree it always seemed to me Leo had a hard on for anti materialism radical open-minded magicks and mysticism at that time and threw it into turquoise, when not particularly relevant to the actual essence of turquoise. I disagree with there being no correlation with awakening. You seem to be throwing all “enlightened” people into one pot. Let’s remember there’s multiple facets and multiple stages, and hold full enlightenment to a higher standard. Peak consciousness and unity experiences are filtered yes. Hence purple shamans and blue mystics. But full liberation involves seeing all standpoints, beliefs and mind content as fabricated and empty - the kind of deconstruction that doesn’t just happen and stick with a peak experience, imo this results in fundamental upwards movement on the spiral, quite fkin quickly too. I’m perplexed though, that you’ve been on this forum for so long, and accept and understand spiral dynamics well enough to make this post, but still evaluate yourself at blue. Can you elaborate?

You might not be aware of this... but everything you are going through is actually happening in reverse. Backwards. You are remembering everything into actuality. You are being retracted back into Absolute Zero. There's nothing you can do about it, really. It's all you are meant to do. The Shift happens when you let yourself become totally devoured by 'The Great Nothing'. He who cannot be named will then (not) step through and (not) come out the other side of... The Light - as Light. The Non-Nothing. The Non-NoSelf. The Realized. The fully initiated and activated. The Awake. The Enlightened. The Ascended. That's what 'Enlightenment' truly is. It's stepping through the Light. Quite Literally. If everything you can perceive - think, sense and breathe doesn't turn into infinite, pure white - it's not full Enlightenment. Just a glimpse perhaps. A breath of consciousness. Some might even be so unused to a quite mind and the effortlessness of being...that they assume the release of the stored junk in their fields is what enlightenment is. It is absolutely amazing and truly freeing, yes. Really beautiful. But not Enlightenment. Only Light is Enlightenment. You see 'Nothing' because you are approaching The Light. It is blinding your senses. Melting them down, even. As long as you can observe 'it' from a safe distance, or even observe at all... You are still walking backwards. Still going through the disintegration process. Remember now; if you do not not take this note that does not not exist seriously... Not Nothing will happen. Regardless. The Nothingness in me does not recognize The Non Nothingness in No You. ?

Thx for listening to it mate. Yeah there definetly is clear differences in the way they teach. Yeah the seeking energy stops when you awaken. There are still contractions of this separate self within the body after awakening and the practice then is not to seek for full enlightenment. That would be delusion. The practice is to relax these contractions as they come up. Thank man and good luck to you too.

I listened to the videos and I get exactly what part you're talkin about...❤ I don't think there is an answer to this.. that seeking energy either dies or it does not... either instantaneously or over time. Here it was like an initial energy collapsing upon the recognition that 'I' was the seeking energy and it wasn't a real entity.... then overtime it felt like more seeking energy fell away because there was no one holding it up any longer. One thing that was noticed is a lot of these teachers teach from the point of view that there is a separate individual that can find something in the future called enlightenment... Tony Parsons Jim Newman Andreas Muller and a few other non-duality teachers recognize that the sense of self is illusory from the beginning and the belief that there is a separate individual that can attain something called Full Enlightenment in the future is just perpetuating the belief in the separate 'self' and keeping the illusion alive. Wow it definitely is a pathless path right good luck to you my brother ❤

Can you with a few words explain what he is talking about? This death thing? I have watched enough of that A-guy, can't really learn anything more from I feel like, so cba to watch him. (may be wrong, but thats how I feel, got other things to do). "The I-thought might disappear when full enlightenment happens that I don't know." How does this align with "awakening has already happened" ?? To me awakening and full enlightenment is pretty much one and the same thing, ... but not to you, huh?

Do you actually know that though? Maybe you haven't reached full enlightenment? I know thoughts and emotions still come up. Here is a video about this that I'm refering to

@WaveInTheOcean I mean the identification with thoughts and emotions. Thoughts doesn't completely dissappear. The I-thought might disappear when full enlightenment happens that I don't know.

What's the point then, if when the body dies then you'll reach the full enlightenment totally?

Well, there is an important disctinction here, because although my Kundalini has risen to the top, it is not yet lodged in the Crown chakra. I can raise it with some effort and keep it there for a while, but then it descends again, usually after an hour. Full enlightenment would be the ability to keep the Kundalini lodged in the crown permanently, but very few people have achieved that. Such people are known as Jivanmukta, Boddhisattva or Saints. In art they are usually depicted with a halo around their head, to indicate their permanently illuminated state. According to Gopi Krishna, a person would need to keep their Kundalini raised and lodged in the Crown Chakra for three days and nights. I once got quite close during the summer solstice, but I'm not quite there yet. When my Kundalini is dormant and resting in the Muladhara, I am just like anybody else, a completely normal person. I do get some special abilities when I raise my Kundalini, but it takes some effort. In my case, I have some healing abilities and have spontaneously exhibited incidents of clairvoyance and precognition, as well as interaction and communication with higher beings. Now, it is important to note, that even when the Kundalini serpent itself is dormant and resting, there is in fact a stream of energy that is constantly moving from the genital area along the spine and into the brain. This phenomenon is known as Urdhvareta and is much sought after by Tantrikas. It has a physical aspect, because I produce no semen, it is sucked up into the spinal fluid and absorbed by the brain. In terms of my normal state of mind, it is not that different from everybody else's, I am perhaps calmer and more content than most people and my material wants and needs are much diminished. Still, I have to work and pay my bills, just like everybody else. I have developed my own method of meditation, after much experimentation and just stuck with what works best for me. There is nothing interesting or noteworthy about it, no special positions or mantras or anything like that. I simply practice letting go and allow Shakti to rise in me and work through my system, activating and clearing all the energy centres one by one. Depending on the kind of day I've had (stress is a serious hindrance to the activation of Shakti) it will usually take from a half hour to an hour to reach a state in which Shakti is fully flowing and infusing every cell of my body with light energy. The sensation when this is achieved in indescribable, but could perhaps best be compared to a constant, unceasing orgasm, interlaced with feelings of love, benevolence, compassion and an inflow of divine wisdom. It is usually at this point when I connect to heavenly beings and interact with them. The clearing process, before I can reach this Shakti-infused state is accompanied by periodic convulsions, as energetic muck, which accumulates during the stresses of the day is cleared. If I'm out in public, the convulsions are barely perceptible, but when at home alone, I allow them to be more intense, for a more thorough cleansing. During this process, my testicles and prostate are overactive and are constantly pumping nervous energy into my brain, via the spinal cord. It is a bit like being electrocuted, I suppose, except extremely pleasant and joyful. Only sexual metaphors can do it justice. I did practice some Hatha Yoga (as well as Kung Fu and Tai Chi) in my youth, but not on a very serious level. Probably, it was my lack of preparation and guidance from an experienced teacher or Guru that led to many problems down the road, as my Kundalini awakened. However, all these techniques, whether Tantric, Yogic or Breathwork, are all really just preparation. The real deal is working with the Goddess and allowing her to rise in you. I take a theistic approach to awakening / enlightenment and emphasize the importance of surrendering to a higher power.

The problem with questions like this -- although I like the question -- is that no matter what answer I give, it will not be the Absolute Truth and therefore it will not satistify you. Yes, you are the Self (/God/Consciousness/Etc.) imagning your own ego and all other egoes and the world. Not only are you imagning it, you are also the substance of that/your imagination. You are the creater, the knower, the substance of all experience. You are One as the Self. Nothing is outside You. Anyway. Yes, from the PoV of an ego other egoes have their own separate thought processes. From the PoV of the Self/God, it is all ONE though - no separation. See, I am back into WaveInTheOcean-consciousness-mode now. I am not bathing in God-consciousness as I were during the peak of my last 2C-B-trip. So naturally I cannot --- as God, cos I'm always God, even though my true God-Consciousness is currently slightly veiled because I'm alive and living as a human being/I'm in human form -- have access to other people's PoV in my current consciousness. It's possible that the more enligthened/selfless you become, the more you will in some limited form have access to so called super-natural abilities such as mind-reading etc. I'm not there yet, even though I would say I'm pretty good at reading people none-the-less=) There are some naive dudes who will claim that actual enligthenment is a permanent state of Absolute God-Consciousness. However it is retarded -- sorry to use that word, but it is -- to believe in this, because Absolute God-Consciousness is only possible through temporary peak mystical experiences or actual physical biological death (these two things are the same, experience-wise). It is retarded, namely, because if you were to find a person who's in Absolute God-Consciousness 24/7, that would then for example imply that - that person litterally could roll a dice and say what it would be, before you opened the cup, every single time - that person litterally could mind-read other people's minds to exact precision, every single time and many other things that are not fully possible within the dualistic laws of living human life. Laws that You created, of course. Make no mistake. Also make no mistake, I'm open to the possibility that some people are so enlightened -- Jesus, Buddha, Ramana Maharshi etc -- that they almost can do these things I just said are not _fully_ possible :-) Full enlightenment is the opposite of Life: Death. All living human people can "only" approach Full Enlightenment in human form. We can never get there 100%. Yet I'd still say I'm "fully" enlightened in the sense that I am now completely aware of the fact that I'm God in all my experiences, and that all I experience is me (God). I know that. I'm aware of that. But I'm not claiming I'm in God Consciousness 24/7. I am not. None are. Don't be fooled. People who believe enlightenment equals a state of Absolute God-Consciousness 24/7 are people who have not (yet) tried to actually bathe in Absolute God-Consciousness. Simple as that :-) ------------------------- Anyway. Yes there is only one Now. And it is Yours/God's/The Self's . Yes, indeed. Time is an illusion - but see, so is everything that is "distinct": anything you can find in maya/life/mind is an illusion. There exist no things. Only the Now/God's Happening is real. And see, within "The Infinite Happening of God"/"The Now" there exists illusions such as separate minds/egos, and time and trees and cars. There do. They are just not real in the Absolute Sense. Nothing is real in the Absolute Sense, except God of course! " Other POVs with other NOWs implies objective reality, since they exist outside of this present moment this ego (my ego) experiences but since everything exists as a probability how is it possible? " You are being confused. You are confusing things. And of course you are! How could you not confuse things? All non-enlightened beings will make confusions when discussing the Absolute/God. I did so too before my 2CB-trip two days ago. Contemplating/reading/listening to gurus can only take you so far. The limits of language. The laws of duality prevents you from getting it fully, until you let go and fully absorb God's gift (that is: your own gift) of removing the veiled glasses (= ego, mind) and thus DIRECTLY EXPERIENCE YourSelf/God. Objective reality / subjective reality is a dualism that ultimately must collapse like all other dualisms. To be arrogant, this is even an easy one;) Reality is subjective-objective There is only one Now. Nothing and everything exists outside your present moment. That is a paradox. But both perspectives are true. That nothing outside your present moment exists (the Now is the Truth) is true. That everything exists outside your present moment (reality is Absolute Infinite) is also true. HOW CAN THAT BE? Answer: God. God loves paradoxes. See: In order for you to not see your true nature, there has to paradox embedded into your existence/present experience. Your ego experiences nothing. Your ego doesn't exist, so it naturally cannot experience anything. There is only one thing in reality that can experience 'stuff'. That One Thing = Consciousness You = The Fabric And Structure of Reality Itself = The Self = God! End of discussion. ---------------------- I stumbled upon this: Leo's most profound talk in a way. Let's get that bread.

Soooo, did my three day retreat. Didn't go too bad. Little extra text here but not too long ♥️ Held the retreat in my bedroom, only left to shower and shit lol. Made food and juice for three days. Plan was to sit for 3 hours at a time, rotating through Kriya Yoga, self enquiry and do nothing. Did from Monday morning to Wednesday 9:30 pm. Quickly found out that my legs wernt the problem, my back was. I thought, "holy shit there's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to literally sit in the same position all day" so I alternated one hour meditation technique, one hour back stretches and sitting silently on a chair. And did that every hour, cycling through the techniques. At some point I decided to make my cycle Kriya yoga, Concentration, Self enquiry. Did a 20mg 5meo trip at 9pm first night, felt kinda weird...quite hard to say what happened, my bed sheets felt like they started crawling up on me haha. I did another 20mg hit soon after, not bad. Second day did the same meditation cycles smoked a big ass bowl of 3 generous servings of 10mg (30mg 5meo). Instantly started to see the barrier between reality and imagination fade but it was so fast. Id compare it to sticking your head out a car window at 200mph in a sandstorm for 5 minutes hahahah. I looked at my table and it was dancing about SOOOOO MAD lol. I was able to concentrate on it a bit. Then final day my back was quite sore, but stretches helped. Concentration was getting good, started feeling parts of my past heal. Messages coming from God to me and knowledge. I cried a bit here and there, I have a new found value for my family and friends ♥️ same meditation cycles, did 2, 20/25mg 5meo trips (smoked) something really weird happened here. It was nearly like I could control it. I smoked 20mg and felt absolutely nothing.......then another 20mg and boom super sensitivity. Then I did another 25mg hit later the last day. All in all, I didn't meet God but I know I've grown. I don't know what it is, or how the fuck I'm gonna discover it...but I know for sure I've grown. I feel...good. I feel matured. I am kinda upset about the fact that I cannot plug 5meo, I have a feeling that trip would be so beautiful man...damn. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't confused more but that doesn't matter, I'll keeping hitting it harder and harder until it breaks. The 5meo smoked is just so fast there was one point when I smoked 25mg and the sensitivity was amazing, I left my body. Really something. So a few points and questions. I started hearing the sound of a rattlesnake lots for the full three days nearly in fact. I heard it when I contemplated deeply and remember the coiled serpent in the spine holding me to this Earth and also the snake in garden of Eden. It felt, deeper, than just my imagination. Anyone have any similar experiences? At this point my main signs of progress are subtle. Like maturing in my character, strengthened will power and discipline/focus. I was very VERY focused when I was questioning the what it means for something to "be real" at the end. Other results. When I look at something now, it's like I can see more...like in a slightly higher definition. And I'm much more aware ?? I have this weird thing now where my presence disarms everyone. And I'm aware of it. Kinda sounds strange but...yeah. also starting to just barely grasp that, unless I hold something as a belief, is it not real. I have a question @Leo Gura do you alternate between meditation and not meditating? I couldn't do SDS's because of my back pain. (Conclusive summary: happy with my 3 day 5meo retreat. The 7 day one will be even better ♥️ gonna aim for 15 days. I'm also not discouraged about my confusion at all...I will never stop ever ever ever until I have made significant progress to full enlightenment.) The image of 5meo I've included was the one when I did 3 generous scoops of 10mg. That was powerful. Mad colours and things floating in the air. My table was dancing like mad

Q: Still I have to repeat my very simple question: who makes the distinction between sin and virtue? M: He who has a body, sins with the body, he who has a mind, sins with the mind. I don't know why I'm thinking back to my preteen years so much lately. I remember New Year's Eve on 1999. Wait. No I don't. It's a mix of jumbled memories. Maybe other New Year's Eves. Gel pens. Journaling. Deep depression. Wanting the journal to be pretty, acceptable for others to read and not wanting to write anything like I was thinking. I remember going to an outdoor sports meet for my sister. I was bored and had a beanie baby bear and I tossed it in the air and caught it. I tossed it up really high and it hit some man square in the head. I can't remember how he reacted but he did. I was so guilty and embarrassed for it that I felt awful the whole rest of the event and every time I thought of it feeling awful. Everything that happened like that felt to me like a guilt I'd never be able to shake off. Eventually hermitism became a coping strategy for this. Hating people yourself is the only way when you love them too much think for other people so much you can't be around them. Loving people is the only way when you hate them too much. Do I even remember that? Why recall it? It's not that I deny it, but that, there's nothing there to really remember. "3 types of enlightened ones Three types of enlightened ones: 1. Samma-sam-buddha = One who rediscovers the teachings and teaches the masses as the historical Buddha did (Siddhattha Gotama). 2. Paccekabuddha = A silent buddha. One who attains full enlightenment, but does not teach others. 3. Arahant = Fully enlightened person, who might teach others, but not as the one who rediscovered the teachings, just as one who learned it from a current dispensation." I AM SAM. I AM SAM. SAM I AM. THAT SAM-I-AM! THAT SAM-I-AM! I DO NOT LIKE THAT SAM-I-AM! DO WOULD YOU LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM? I DO NOT LIKE THEM,SAM-I-AM. I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM.

@Zanoni Interesting is this identification with the transcendence same as what is considered full enlightenment (or elimination of identiciation)? Or is it like a sort of pseudo enlightenment?

@Javfly33 Valid point, mostly for Pyschedelics though shaktipat is done consistently until the person reaches perceived full enlightenment. However, also for pyschedelics it seems that your baseline of consciousness rises from the one you had before the peak experience. I don't think that once you are already enlightened (or in general) you require practices to align yourself with truth, do you? I dont think that you even need them to embody enlightenment either. Also does one need to be in the action of doing practices (in raising of your consciousness) to "hold in place" a higher level of consciousness?

@Nak Khid That is fair So another reason why people don't pursue these options is because they think its bullshit Theres hundreds, thousands maybe tens or hundreds of thousands, etc that beg to differ. Also I won't miss this opportunity to ask you what someone asked me before. What do you think placebo is? @Nak Khid That's true your right I dont recall if Leo or other pyschedelic users have said that they are enlightened or just had awakening experiences. However, I believe Martin Ball claims to have full enlightenment.

@Inliytened1 WOW thanks for the info and for reading Interesting full enlightenment is dead, LOL. Good to know you can have some sober. I just have HORRIBLE concentration and focus. Ill switch like a couple techniques in just a 30 min meditation do nothing because my mind just can't focus on one technique, so i smoke weed or I'll really never make progress. It feels chemical (been diagnosed with severe ADD at 15yo). Even when I do a concentration practice, I can never do it or grow from it really. How focused are you before the sober nondual states emerge? How long have you been meditating? Concentration practice?