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Last night I became aware of another aspect of myself. "The Infinite". I get what your saying and even the whatever at the end. It's like somtimes you just gotta focus on your own bliss of knowing.

Ignorance is bliss.

@Zeroguy I'm not a fan of either of those. Make a channel talking about what it's like to experience tears of bliss/joy and how to open your heart and experience love. If you are an effective teacher people will watch. Who doesn't want love and bliss?

@preventingdiabetes yes it's the same for financial needs up to a point. But after that point it just feeds an addiction. Survival and enlightenment are not completely opposed to one another. From one perspective enlightenment is perfect happiness. It's unhealthy to think that enlightenment is the only meaningful thing in life. What makes enlightenment desirable is the same thing that made those burritos that i just ate desirable. It's both happiness. So instead of seeing burritos as opposed to enlightenment it should be seen as a window to enlightenment. Finding gratitude and pleasure in the simple things in life is a spiritual practice. There are however two legitimate reason why eating burritos could be unhealthy: 1. If you have cheese on them. Make simple healthy vegan ones instead, they are still delicious i promise. 2. If we eat burritos to distract us from an emotional wound, such as scarcity trauma. Then we become distracted from facing and healing that wound at it's core. There is still no shame in eating burritos to cope just know that the happiness you seek in burritos can be found in abundance in emotional healing. And emotional healing takes us closer to enlightenment. The road to God is paved with bliss. Same goes for finances. It's all good to fix your finances up to a point but if wealth becomes a crutch to not face a deeper emotional trauma. Then it's better to face the trauma. Transcending can happen in two ways: transcend and include or transcend and repress. Transcending and including means eating healthy, delicious food, having stable finances and doing chakra meditation/kundalini yoga/kriya yoga to melt you ego in comfort, pleasure, joy, love and bliss. Transcending and repressing means selling all your stuff, starve under a tree, dominate all your desires as you sit in meditation 20 hours a day as your body is falling apart. If you do option one with rigor I think it will actually get you to a lasting enlightenment faster than option 2. Buddhists have a hard time embodying and getting their enlightenment to stick. I think Leo teaches the latter option, which is too bad. Focus on emotional healing. The ego is made out of suffering. Lastly what I want to say is this: I became hungry from writing about the burritos I'm gonna go and devour another one have a nice day

I definitely understand not wanting to sell out to make money and get a bunch of delusional seekers to worship you lol. But don't you think if you could be a good/effective teacher then it would be worth it? Imagine... You could be such a good teacher that it would be like "Hey Rap snap your finger 4 times and breath in and out and boom you're enlightened and full of bliss"

Be free to move this to self actualization or even serious emotional problems, but I would really like an advice from an spirituality-enlightment work perspective, more than from a mental illness perspective. This morning I woke up with "terrible feeling thoughts". And for the 999th time, I believed them/thought I was them. But a big question out of desperation came up "What the fuuuuuck am going to do with this mind?". Kind of Eckhart Tolle sort of way before his Enlightment, Yup. But here it hasn't happened yet. And life it's just this weird theatre between bad feeling thoughts most of the time and little short "teases" of realizing my suffering is completely imaginary and created by thoughts. But those instances are like 0.01% of time. Meditation works but it lasts sooo little. I basically have to be doing it constantly to feel at peace from the mind. So I do know it's just the mind. I do know what causes me suffering it's just thoughts. I do know I am not my thoughts. I do know the thoughts are NOT the truth! Love is the truth. The present moment. Everything else it's just relative biased thoughts conditioned by my specific ego life and survival strategies. Totally relative. However I also must confess, I am not sure if due to late stress, I stumble In between ideas of being super motivated to accomplish everything I wanted in life (stage orange stuff + being optimistic about healing my mental illness) in between fantasizing about leaving everything and bliss myself the fuck out in a cave with no food until I completely heal myself in a hardcore way (Sadghuru type of awakening). Not to say that I am saying I would be able to do it. Just because ...hey, I would prefer doing that that killing myself. Just to give you context ,even though I feel I did tremendous progress in my last psychedelic trip, it's also true than the following day after tripping, I went to the kitchen and put a knife in my neck and tried to cut me in front of two people (a girl I shared flat with and I liked, and his boyfriend which came by the previous night) It was a theatre, ( because I deliveretely chose a knife that I knew didn't cut almost nothing when I could have taken the one who does cut well ) that I did to be "saved" by them because I felt hated/not loved by them (my best bet of what social anxiety/feelings of unworthiness are) and by doing that they would help me, because I knew if I did that in front of them suddenly the conversation would switch (they were talking in the kitchen) to Me and my Pain (not my neck pain Lol, but the pain of being feeling bad because of this unworthiness/self hate energy, which got intensely triggered when I heard them having sex for an hour last night when I was still under the lsd effects. So doing that "theatre" was a way of releasing it ). Yeah...That's probably insane but I must confess I did felt very fucking good about that situation weeks later. I felt kind of guilt for putting them in that uncomfotarble situation, but my My ego did felt the love it was craving by doing that dumb theatre. I just think that that's how nasty, unconventional and uncomfotarble some roads to healing get. Or at least that's what I want to believe. That I am going fine and I'm going "up" in life. But the boyfriend of this girl also adviced me that I should go back to my parents and start over. They didn't know the knife thing was a threate. I don't agree with him, that would be like starting again from scratch, that doesn't win me anything. Staying here though being independent almost guarantees me growth. Yet life seems so highly unstable at times. Yesterday I almost crushed my car. I got distracted because of being in this mental space of stress and kind of angry. So that's not good. Mmm don't know I'm honestly not sure where this is going. But I also can't quit right? ???‍♂️ I must keep playing the game..I just can't go back to my parents house and lock myself in the basement.to go play videogames. I just thought life was going to be.... A little.bit easier... when I got out of that "basement"some years ago wanting to become a full healed man. And of course...that's all a story because life is ain't that hard it's just my mind that keep creating imaginations and Fantasies with thoughts, and I keep believing myself to be them. Mind...could you step up to one side, and let me live for once? ?

Aloneness/Oneness is both beautiful, perfect, and also terrifying. Because God is all things. God is terror, shock, surprise, wonder, perfection...etc..it's EVERYTHING. It is also the ego!! Surprise!!.. it's OK for God to feel terrified the first time it realizes there is nothing outside of it! It IS it's own mother! And it IS it's own son! It IS everyone in this forum, and the forum itself!! And It IS evil! It IS torture, rape, war...to discover there is absolutely no separation between anything and itself, that it is One. Is shocking. But it's ALSO Absolute Bliss, Goodness and Love simultaneously!!!! Because it's EVERYTHING. This isn't ego or delusion. Notice it is YOUR bias that excludes terror about Oneness/Aloneness (notice alone = Al-One) that is actually ego not the other way around! The realization of Oneness is extremely profound and radical and if you haven't hit the floor in both Love/Bliss and terror, shock and awe than you probably ain't awake!

You said it yourself: cos We are Infinite. Ta-daaaa. If it was NOT possible to <'fuck up, feel pain, be bad, be selfish, be evil, suffer'> then, oh dear God, We wouldn't be Infinite & Eternal -- but We ARE! The lesson in this life is for you/me/us to fucking understand that We do NOT want all this unconscious, ignorant, selfish, evil devilry (being asleep) anymore because IT FUCKING HURTS in the end <3 I don't want to suffer anymore. I want peace, goodness, happiness, love, contentment and joy for every sentient being that I am in the whole universe. Consciousness. Being awake. Knowledge. Selflessness. Cosmic Consciousness. Oneness. Love. But it takes a lot of ignorant devilry, pain, fear, anger, shame, suffering ... and conscious effort to get there, because ignorant, unconscious, selfish devilry is also kind of exciting, right (?), and it seems like the essence of 'fun' to Us. But I'm fucking tired of it now. Seems like many children on the planet are starting to grow tired of egoistical behaviour. But you cannot fuck around with survival. You gotta satisfy the bottom 4 levels of Maslow's Pyramid of Needs before even being able to start acknowleding that you were programmed to survive and that you have followed this social conditioning your whole life, more or less. The most 'sneaky and intelligent way' for the 'ego' to perform devilry is to perform it without acknowleding it. We are all often acting primarily from a place of ego in so many small and big ways while simultaneously believing we are acting from a place of charity and integrity. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". “Kindly let me help you or you will drown, said the monkey, putting the fish safely up a tree." The thing is though, try to imagine what it would be like if all that existed was 'obvious Heaven' -- omniscient, unselfish, blissfull beings just flying around in Paradise. No pain, no suffering, no devilry. Just pure Love, Joy, Happiness, Goodness, Contentment for You and Everyone. After an eternity of this, don't you think you would start to be fucking bored? Maybe You would want to imagine a chaotic dream where You *forgot* You were God, and where you didn't know shit about what would happen, since the world inside that dream would be filled with chaos, evil and death. Wouldn't that be exciting? I mean it's just a dream right; only it gets more exciting: because you willingly forgot it was just a dream! Wouldn't it be a fantastic dream if it was possible for You -- as 'an imaginary, internal, separate self' stuck in 'a chaotic, physical, external world' -- to get all this "anxious chaos & ignorant, selfish devilry" 'straightened out' to "calm order & conscious, selfless goodness & love" ? ... Just like when you take a deck of cards and shuffle them into disorder and chaos, and then shall try to bring them back into order and harmony. That's fun, that's exciting... Will the (imaginary) evil win? Or will Love win? Let's see! Let's play! Lila - Divine Play. It's all just God/Love though, remember? ;-) <3 Most people don't, which is exactly the point! Awakening/Spiritual Enlightenment is God allowing Himself to "wake up" through a small amount of dream-characthers inside His Dream. Hehe :-) <3 ;-) Love is Awareness is Boring is Ignorance is Exciting is Bliss is Fear is Suffering is Healing is Awareness is Love An infinite strange loop. The serpent eating its own tail. Meet Me "in the middle" of all these seemingly polar opposites: good - bad ... selfless - selfish ... love - hate ... excitement - boredom ... being - non-being ... peace - fear ... happiness - misery ... expression - depression ... harmony - chaos ... infinite - finite ... eternity - transient ... light - darkness ... consciousness - ignorance ... freedom - captivity ... invulnerability - helplessness ... perfection - imperfection ... control - impotence ... truth - falsehood ... courage - fear ... innonence - lust ... non-attachment - attachment ... humility - pride ... serenity - anger ... authenticity -- deceit ... play - seriousness ... life - death ... dream - real ... emptiness - form ... nothingness - nouns ... movement - stagnation ... one - many ... contentment - dissatisfaction ... enough - lacking ... heaven - hell ... profound - mundane ... music - silence ... beauty - ugliness ... now - past ... now - future ... equality - difference ... unique - common .... soul - ego ... awake - asleep ... forgiveness - judgment ... letting go - holding on ... encouragement - blame ... trust - reject ... absolute - limited .... imagination - dullness ... mystical - understandable ... mind - matter ... mental - physical ... thought - material ... idealism - materialism ... non-duality - duality ... spirituality - earthly ... magical - typical ... god - devil ... fate - coincidence ... free will - determined ... actual - theoretical ... experience - conceptual ... inner - outer ... groundless - grounded ... unlimited - limited ... unbounded - bounded ... freshness - old ... self-evident - paradoxical ... unity - opposites ... inexplicable - explainable ... purpose - accident ... meaning - nihilism ... growth - mistakes ... whole - deficient ... interconnected - disconnected ... gifted - cursed ... blessed - mortal ... creative - useless ... intelligent - simple-minded ... illusion - human ... transcendental - egoic finite mind ... nirvana - samsara ... play - survival ... balance - battle ... sincerity - game ... symmetry - confusion ... natural - artifical ... unforced - enforced ... liberated - ruled ... emancipated - dominated ... responsible - victim ... reflection - put-down ... self-governed - enslaved ... listening - disregarding ... open - closed ... redemption - being lost ... tolerated - blocked ... giving - losing ... ineffable - logical ... surrendering - resisting ... supportive - careless ... mutualism - antagonism ... reciprocity - hostility ... conciliation - alienation ... synergism - noncooperation ... warm - cold ... symbiosis - conflict ... tranquility - agitation ... neutrality - egoism ... magnanimity - vengeance ... self-sacrifice - egomania ... soft - hard ... sacrificing - self-indulgence ... charity - exploitation ... compassion - heartlessness ... artlessness - pretentiousness ... light - heavy ... candidness - deception ... divinity - atrociousness ... unwearied - tired ... overflowing - lifeless ... lively - inanimate ... vibrating - motionless ... energetic - stagnant ... wavy - straight ... concurrence - asynchrony ... linked - fragmented ... reciprocal - separate ... unified - divided ... whimsical - fixed ... alterable - established ... healing - suffering ... transformative - destructive ... laid-back .. expressive - depressive ... bold - shy ... calm - traumatized ... sobriety - addiction ... adventurous - scared ... audacious - fearful ... bravery - cowardice ... acceptance - denial ... innocent - ashamed ... forbearance - anger ... acknowledgement - contemptuous ... fertile - infertile ... admiration - condemnation ... significance - worthlessness ... gracefulness - crudeness ... fondness - loathing ... approve - blame ... respect - scorn ... integrity - hypocrisy ... appreciation - envy ... self-esteem - self-loathe ... humbleness - hubris ... mercy - coldheartedness ... kindliness - enmity ... let go - cling ... affinity - aversion ... passion - abomination ... concurrency - resistance ... concordance - discordance ... virtue - atrocity ... clarity - murkiness ... tenderness - harsh ... keenness - nonchalance ... awareness - apathy engaged - inert ... wide-awake - absent ... lucid - distracted ... mindful - abstracted ... meditative - overlooking ... focused - scattered ... contemplative - unreflective ... bright - dim ... pure - impure ... mesmerized - inattentive ... renew - remain ... embrace - bypass ... cheerful - melancholic ... optimistic - pessimistic ... celebrate - mourn... attend to - neglect ... deliverance - deadlock ... fulfill - fail ... fruitful - barren ... attainment - defeat ... wonder - expect ... question - answer ... curiosity - conformity ... amity - bitterness ... unassuming - arrogant ... observant - oblivious ... synchronicity - chance ... entanglement - loneliness ... indefinite - confined ... exploration - conclusion ... honesty - biased ... content - greedy ... silent - noisy ... Lila (Divine Play) - one-upmanship When the finite, egoic mind is fully dropped there is just seen to be: Goodness, Selflessness, Love, Excitement, Being, Peace, Happiness, Expression, Harmony, Infinity, Eternity, Light, Consciousness, Freedom, Perfection, Control, Truth, Courage, Innonence, Non-Attachment, Humility, Serenity, Authenticity, Play, Life, Dream, Emptiness, Nothingness, Movement, Oneness, Contentment, Enough, Heaven, Profound, Music, Beauty, Now, Equality, Uniqueness, Soul, Awake, Enlightened, Forgiveness, Letting Go, Faith, Encouragement, Trust, Absolute, Imagination, Mystery, Mind, Mental, Thought, Idealism, Non-Duality, Spirituality, Magic, God, Fate, Free Will, Actuality, Experience, Inner, Groundlessness, Unlimited, Unbounded, Freshness, Self-Evident, Unity, Inexplicability, Divine Purpose, Meaningful Growth, Whole, Interconnected, Gifted, Blessed, Creativity, Intelligence, Illusion, Transcendence, Nirvana, Play, Balance, Sincerity, Symmetry, Natural, Unforced, Liberated, Emancipated, Self-Responsible, Self-Love, Listening, Open, Universal Redemption, Divine Tolerance, Ever-Giving, Ineffable, Divine Surrender, Nurturing, Universal Support, Unleashed, Mutual, Reciprocal, Conciliation, Synergy, Warmth, Symbiosis, Tranquility, Neutrality, Magnanimity, Self-Sacrifice, Softness, Charity, Compassion, Artlessness, Light, Candid, Divinity, Unweariedness, Overflow, Aliveness, Vibrations, Energy, Waves, Concurrence, Linked, Unified, Whimsical, Alterable, Healed, Transformed, Laid-Back, Expressive, Boldness, Calmness, Sobriety, Adventure, Audacity, Bravery, Acceptance, Patience, Forbearance, Acknowledgement, Fertility, Admiration, Significance, Gracefulness, Fondness, Approval, Respect, Integrity, Appreciation, Self-Esteem, Humbleness, Mercy, Kindliness, Let-Go, Affinity, Passion, Universal Familiy, Divine Concurrency, Concordance, Virtue, Clarity, Tenderness, Keenness, Awareness, Engagement, Wide-Awake, Lucid, Mindful, Meditative, Focused, Contemplative, Bright, Pure, Mesmerizing, Renewal, Embracing, Cheerfully, Optimism, Celebration, Attending, Deliverance, Fulfilled, Fruitful, Divine Attainment, Wonder, Questioning, Curiosity, Amity, Unassuming Observant, Synchronicity, Universal Entaglement, Indefinite Exploration, Honesty, Content Silence, Lila (Divine Play). See: Love ya all.

Damn that was good bro! Well said! Being fully awake is truly beyond words. There are levels to awakening to God realization but once fully awake,one sees how they really are Everything. The walls and floors and streets become your skin just like the body and everyone is you,all the people and creatures and plants and air and water. Beyond words,the bliss of it all. You'll be smiling and crying at the same time it's so magnificent,so beautiful,so perfect ❤️

"Wonder is the beginning of wisdom - The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing - Death may be the greatest of all human blessings." - Socrates There seems to be only one truth we can all agree on: death. But what is death? "meow" says the cat. "death is the Day of Judgment" says the Abrahamic religions. "death is non-existence" says the atheist. "death is rebirth" says Buddhism. "death is unknowable" says the agnostic. "I don't know what death is" said Socrates. "I have never personally, directly experienced this 'death'-thing, so if I'm being totally honest with myself, I don't even know if death is real, just like I don't know if there are monsters under my bed while I'm sleeping. Heck, I can't even remember getting born, so maybe even believing that I was born on xx.yy.zzzz is equivalent to believing that the tree - that allegedly fell in the forest - made a sound of its own" says the open mind. "death is an illusion" said/says the mystics. Human life might just be God's way of trying to convince Himself that being awake (aware) is better than being asleep (ignorant)... Human life might just be The Universe's way of trying to convince Itself that non-existence is better than existence... But perhaps She should seek out a way to "merge the two"; as in to exist but in a dream. Lucidly dreaming, it still all feels real even though I am perfectly aware I am just dreaming. They say ignorance is bliss, yet ignorance leads to fear (of death) which leads to suffering (hurting the self through hurting the other). Wisdom lies in becoming acquainted with death. Thus, fear is transformed to calmness. But to become acquainted with death - die without dying - one first has to let go of all fear. How does one let go? Well, before one can exhale, one first has to inhale, right? Thus, carelessly - and without any conscious effort - your body makes a deep inhalation for you; and slowly, but surely you start suckling, contracting more and more; then holding on tensely while desperately trying to empty the wine bottle of life as you silently run away from the truth (yourself, death). Eventually, all this just leads to more and more fear and tension. As your ego grows and builds, the more the truth will haunt you in the back of your mind, slowly but steadily getting closer and closer: as if you were in the foreground of a silent film running away in agony from a gigantic tidal wave in the background. In the end, you will burst, explode and dive straight down to hell, where your soul will burn, kick and scream while it is getting purified, healed and cleansed in the purgatory. You are finally letting go. Dying. Exhaling all the fear, anger and shame; saying no to your ego (selfishness), saying yes to your soul (selflessness). Complete ego death. Transcendence By the end of this terrifying exhalation, you now hold your breath very cautiously, before deciding what to do next. After a brief moment of eternity, you decide you have no choice but to inhale again, this time, hopefully having learned the lesson, deciding to breathe with conscious effort, deliberate care and intentional soul-love (instead of repeating the wandering around drunk and asleep in ego) - - dreaming once again, but now lucidly, acknowledging your potential for devilry (ego), and seeing that what you once thought was hell (death) is actually Heaven (Life with big L). And instead of letting your soul adulterate by becoming drunk on the never-satiating pleasures of life, you helplessly choose to become drunk on the mind-bending, magical nature of reality: an eternal, unbounded, enigmatic dream emanating from the Fountain of Infinity, formlessly ever-changing shape while constantly spattering fathomless drops of dreamed-up worlds into a bottomless ocean of Cosmic Consciousness. When you become so empty on the inside that everything around 'you' becomes fuller than full; when you let go trying to force things and needing to change every moment, having your will all the time; when you stop getting in your own way and let your deep, mystical, wise intuition guide you with ungrounded faith, always being in a state of flow; when you start listening, seeing, and feeling, holding space instead of taking space; when you look a stranger deeply in the eyes without any judgment, just smiling and communicating to him that he's accepted as he is, forgiven, understood and not alone; -- that is Love, that is God seeing Herself, looking at Himself... through you. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243017/

You never cease to exist. Once you awaken you understand that nirvana is always the case. That is the nature of reality. Bliss, absolute. The incarnation in which you realize this fully is called The Ascending Lifetime. In such a lifetime, you gain lordship over all systems of existence and express free will with accordance to The Divine Law. Once there, you decide how long you'd like to live with the physical body which is in your possession at that moment. Over 120 years is a possibility. Great wisdom is within your grasp and higher states and levels of consciousness become open to you. You may enter an initiation of a certain lineage, guide others to nirvana, study with ascended masters or walk the earth and simply bask in bliss. You may do this as long as you wish. When an intent is set to continue on The Path, the universe contrives to bring you the people and experiences you desire most in order for you to experience The Self further. Greg

You're only saying that because you're afraid it would end at some point. If it will, keep training your mind and elevating your quality of consciousness until it happens again, now for an extended period. Keep walking the path until you merge with this bliss and be in constant communion with it. The intensity will be lesser but continuous. Good luck Greg

I promise you, there is a new start for you. Your life could be a mess atm, but you get over that, you fix those issues with yourself, you conquer, that's what we do, when we're challenged by life! We don't give up, we prevail! Sometimes stuff feels so personal and it hurts so much that it feels like there is no joy anymore, that the current cloud of shit has filled the sky for good. But that's not the case, there is always a new peak of joy, happiness, bliss and love in front of us, and those things are waiting for you, until you fix the mess. Life has so much more for you. Suicide doesn't fix anything. That's good. Keep talking to your therapist and he will guide you through. You clearly have work to do, but man the feeling after you've conquered those deficiencies and start seeing light, it feels AWESOME!

@kinesin You would be very much surprised how hard is to heal and to do shadow work, it does not matter where u are at, because it is something that bypasses all that and triggers your core being. It is said that one master meditated alone in the Himalayas for decades, mastering all paths of yoga, tantra and meditation. In perfect bliss, he returned to the world and did the full circle as it is said. He went for dinner to his home, while eating his dad said something which triggered him, he then inmediately answered roughly, when the last word came out of his mouth, he attained supreme enlightenment.

@Swarnim Nice, good work. Try not to get (too much) hung up on bliss. Its a great thing and shows that you're doing the right work, but it can lead you to believe that "bliss" is the goal. And that ordinary everyday life is somehow "inferior" to this blissful state of consciousness. In Zen they warn about this and say: "The monk who has attained Satori goes to hell as straight as a flying arrow." So when you think you have "attained" the goal/enlightenment/bliss or whatever - therein lies the trap. Because it sets up a duality. So, you let the bliss come - and then you let it go.

If you are constantly trying to be in the bliss or trying to get back into bliss then that's a trap because it's the ego chasing feeling good. The way out of it is seeing it for what it is and let it go. I wouldn't worry about it though.

Why in the world feeling bliss would be a bad thing? THAT IS THE BIGGEST TRAP! How happines, joy and celebrating your life is trap? It is in fact the very essence of life. Get fucking lost in that bliss, get absorted, get lost, get so drunk u die in that bliss, feel so much ecstasy that u literraly explote in infinite orgasms which are increasing infinitely infinite in intensity and pleasure.

So I decided to finally meditate seriously on the deepest I could go. I got intoxicated by bliss seeing that there is no substance, nothing is happening to no one. I have no idea why but this is so.... fucking blissful. I am still feeling it. It started in the forehead, spread to whole head. Then I focused how the different feelings of my body were not happening to anyone as well and were made of nothing, and then my whole body felt that bliss. I feel so relaxed. Like damn. I sat for a good while. Then I focussed on how this bliss itself is happening to no one, and that intensified it 5X. What do you guys have to say on this? Like could I be falling in some sort of trap? The bliss feels like the universe is(I am) in a constant state of blooming outwards as a flower. It's better than an orgasm.

Haven't visited here in a while but felt the urge to. Feeling extremely rejuvenated, like there's just pixie dust all around me and I'm playing in it like how a kid plays in a sandpit. There's a very strong energetic pathway from the root chakra to close to my eyes and forehead, and the energy pathway is causing tears to swell up my eyes as I write this. I'm listening to a song that at this moment is reminding me of a breakup I had, all of the memories of what my life was like, what my worldview was, etc which is creating a huge flow of nostalgia. It represents to me a closing of a chapter, and an opening of another, which is what I'm going through right now. I've just, without a doubt, just fully realized a life purpose for myself which will provide me with the grounding needed to keep focused on maintaining and generating more bliss in my life moving forward. Its a gateway to insanely deep clarity, and the collapse of huge fragments of confusion, confusion which is the substrate for mental masturbation, more seeking, more ego, more dogma and more confusion. It took a while to find it, 6-7 years of very intense searching, yet its finally come to fruition now. The life purpose revolves around a deep satisfaction with progressing through life without the need to achieve anything. Achievement misdirects your karma to point towards focusing on illusory thoughts about things you have no evidence or idea about, like what will happen in the future, how you will feel in the future, etc, rather than the bliss in the now. And with fully letting go of the need to achieve or fully realize goals, allows you to work on things which have no benefit (or at least immediate benefit) in the future, yet a things which have deep resonance with the bliss of the now. For me this will be embarking on a journey of learning about, embodying energy work, trauma work and psychedelics with the core focus of healing as deeply as possible. Traversing so deeply that the point will not be healing others, or making the world a better place, but to simply explore, learning and travel as deeply as possible into the foundations, mechanics and techniques of energetic healing modalities simply for the sake of a love of mastering techniques and exploring the depths of consciousness, and sharing my perspective of view of those depths for those interested simply through the eminence of my character. Along with energetic healing modalities, traversing as deeply as possible in the area of mathematics, artificial intelligence, and any engineering disciplines very related to mathematics such as computer kernels will happen at the same time in parallel with the learning of energetic healing modalities, with the intention of merging them together, like yin and yang. Not strictly career related, but my life will also involve exposure to as many different diverse, strange, interesting, fascinating, amazing, challenging, amazing experiences as possible. With this purpose, I now have a grounded and stable goal and focus to achieve that I know for sure will make me blissful 24/7. @flume missed this message, thanks for the compliment, loved it!

@Leo Gura You definitely seem like an abnormality and outlier Leo - 5-6 times throughout the course of a day (3 times tops in one sitting) as a teenager was my max. It actually starts hurting physically (especially in the balls because they've been so thoroughly drained out). Not to mention psychologically the desire usually wears off substantially after the first release & very strongly after the 2nd/3rd. The rates you're talking about are patently absurd and I hate to say it, borderline sad & concerning (no hate to teenage leo :P) Also if you haven't tested out nofap / semen retention properly, you simply cannot judge it. Don't give me a personal excuse/reason and try to pass it off as if it universally applies to all people... 'but it's unhealthy...' 'but it's a waste of my time...' 'i've got bigger fish to fry...' 'you think I'd sexually repress myself in that way...' Personal excuses and/or reasons that relate to you may not apply to everyone else - that's my point. I will say this, a proper test is not going to kill you and semen retention itself has been widely practiced outside of NoFap circles for thousands of years - and I am assuming you of course know this. And thus, I assume you also know of many purported physical, emotional, & spiritual benefits that at least SOME people positively attest to who practice it, however long and however sporadically. I have done multiple such streaks and noticed an almost superhuman energy / electricity / masculinity / drive begin building up within & surging out of me. It feels so incredible, almost like you are coasting off an artificial high. The energy literally feels so charged up within you, it feels like it's bursting and radiating out of every cell of your body - making you feel full of unstoppable life force energy and almost uncontrollably elevating you into states of unity consciousness/bliss/love. Often on those peak days, I think to myself how I would trade in regular daily faps/orgasms to experience this. It's that powerful and incredible for me. And I won't even bore you with all the other so-called semen retention superpowers people report, but I've experienced them all too - especially the female attention ;P I'd genuinely be fascinated to see you go on a decent streak semen retention streak for 30-60 days and I think you will be pleasantly surprised by just how positive/powerful its affects can be. I think it will have some extraordinary positive affects on you - as you have accessed superhuman states of consciousness and are generally more sensitive to most substances than most average humans (be it 5-meo or maca). Of course, I understand your POV and could see how disruptive it could be as well to your work and life in general - thus making it not worth it. Anyway, I can also attest the my sex drive is much lower than yours & I am a healthy, vital, muscular, attractive male in his mid 20s. I don't feel a daily desire to release - it comes in waves every 3-4 days and I know plenty of guys who this is also the case for. I do indeed know men who's sexual drive manifests in a daily release, but anywhere in this ballpark I feel is normal. So once again, consider you are may be more of the outlier here.

As per Hindu wisdom they say this: Self-Control (Shamam), Self-Investigation (vichara), happiness/joy/Bliss (Shanta) and company of liberated beings (Satsanga). Shanta is the supreme fullfilment all beings desire, satsanga the best fellow travelers, vichara the best tool and Shamam the biggest source of happiness. I find it to be a very accurate description, it's the summary of hundred of thousands of people searching for Supreme Liberation, this is what they found most useful in their journey.

Isn't fear a basic human/animal emotion? It seems like a great incentive to take action. The ego would be the resistance to or grasp of feelings. It grasps that which feels good and resists that which feel bad. Resisting/avoiding fear and grasping/seeking bliss as an example.

I'm sure there are people who get absolute bliss from doing their chosen career every day. But don't worry about hypothetical situations or other people. Examine if that's something you think you can experience, and why you're asking this question in the first place. Without more context I don't know where this question is coming from. It almost sounds like you're trying to rationalize giving up a relationship for your career to yourself.

logically speaking, this doesn't make sense to me because wouldn't happiness/joy/bliss also just be an illusion then? why couldn't it be that bad is the only thing that exists, and happiness is the illusion? speaking from the very little experience i have on this, it makes sense. often when i take walks alone i just walk around and observe the world. and when i do that, it's like the observable present is the only thing that exists and everything is just so goddamn beautiful that i shiver over and over again, and nothing is of more or less value, everything is just so outstandingly perfect and amazing. like, i could see an old dirty shoe on the side of the road and literally cry because it's so beautiful. i realize now that people who see me on those walks probably think i'm totally insane lol this is the closest i have come to experiencing something similar to what you said, if i'm understanding you correctly. and based in that little experience, it makes total sense. that said, i think (based on your videos) most of your insights are way over my head, and i would like to ask you if it's really wise to pursue this kind of truth-happiness-oneness-god thing directly? i know that people easily misunderstand things that are not yet possible for them to grasp. depending of how developed people are, it seems like their self-development goals should be different. so is this a goal everyone can work towards, or are there other ways of looking at happines/truth that i would benefit from working on first? (would estimate that i'm at spiral dynamics green/yellow and i relate heavliy to the first postconventional stage in cook-greuters ego development paper (not done reading the paper yet though), if this might help answer my question)

@tatsumaru Also don't narrow down Love/Bliss/Ecstacy to human emotion sense categories. This would be a mistake so to say