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So the dynamic journal is the way to go. Sounds like a good plan. Life is indeed like living on the seven seas like a pirate. Grab your eyepatch, pegleg, musket and cutlass, and loot and plunder your way up from deckswabber to captain. Ever hear about the Argo paradox? When Jason first set sail with his band of swashbucklers, he built the Argo from new materials but as he sailed from port to port part of the ship got old and was replaced until all parts were eventually replaced with new parts. So some peoples argue that the Argo at the end isn't the real Argo anymore but an entirely different ship altogether. If that's true, then when did the Argo become a different ship? Is it when the first piece is replaced or when the last piece is replaced, or some halfway point in the middle? Or is it possible that no matter how many pieces were replaced, the Argo is still the Argo? It's the same problem with life. We all know that we've transformed when we look back at our past lives, but we cannot define the precise moment in time when the transformation took place.

It is said again and again that being aware is enough for transformation. How does it work? It is a significant question, because if you are aware of your cancer, the cancer will not be cured by just being aware of it – that is true. But as far as psychological transformations are concerned, the moment you are aware of them they disappear – because they do not exist as realities, they exist only as illusions. You have seen a ghost standing in the dark: now you bring light, and you say there is nobody. Just the shape of the tree was giving you the false impression that somebody was standing there. The ghost has disappeared, because in the first place the ghost was not there. Awareness helps, brings transformation, because the illusions that you are suffering from are not realities. If you become aware of a rock, the rock is not going to disappear. But if you become aware of the ego, the ego is going to disappear, because the ego is not a reality. If you become aware, fear is going to disappear, because fear is not a reality. If you become aware, death is going to disappear, because death is a lie, it is not a reality. Awareness functions in two ways. One: if something is real and you become aware of it, it becomes tremendously beautiful, it becomes psychedelic, it becomes very colorful. If it is unreal, it disappears. If it is real, it becomes more real; if it is unreal, it becomes absolutely unreal. Awareness is a light. If you bring light into the dark room, darkness will disappear, but the paintings on the wall will appear. When the room was dark, the paintings were not there; although they were there, you could not have seen them – for you they were not there and darkness was there. When you bring light, darkness is there no more and the paintings have appeared. Something disappears when you become aware, and something appears. Death disappears, deathlessness appears. The ego disappears, egolessness appears. You disappear as a separate entity: God appears. God means, “I am no longer separate.” “Was you ever in love, Dusty?” asked Walker Long of old Dusty Rhodes one day as they were picking up and putting them down on a railroad right-of-way. “Yeah, once when I was a young squirt, I was in love,” answered old Dusty. “Well, you never did get married, did you?” pursued Walker Long. “Nope, I never did marry,” vouchsafed old Dusty. “How did that happen?” “Well, it was like this. The gal I was in love with wouldn’t marry me when I was drunk, and I wouldn’t marry her when I was sober.” Awareness has its own ways. If you are aware, you will not be able to do many things you have been doing up till now, and you will be able to do many things you have never thought of doing before. If you are aware, you cannot be angry, because anger can exist only in a state of unawareness: that is a prerequisite for anger to exist. If you are aware, anger is impossible and compassion becomes a natural outcome: the same energy that was becoming anger becomes compassion. If you are aware, sex disappears and love arises: the same energy that was becoming sexuality through unawareness takes on a new manifestation of love through awareness. As far as psychological transformation is concerned, awareness is enough, analysis is not needed. That is the difference between Eastern and Western psychology: Western psychology is too concerned with analysis. In the East, for five thousand years psychology has existed; it is the most ancient science in the East. But its concern is totally different; it is not at all interested in analyzing, the whole thing seems to be unnecessary. And now Western psychology is also becoming aware of the fact that analysis leads nowhere. Have you ever come across a person who is totally analyzed? Even Sigmund Freud was not. Nobody can be totally analyzed. You can analyze one dream, but another day another dream arises. You can go on analyzing – people go to the analyst for years, but dreams don’t disappear, they go on coming; analysis does not make them disappear. But in the East we know the art of making them disappear. So who bothers? It is as if you see a ghost in the dark – there is no ghost, just the form of the tree – and you start analyzing. You never come close to the tree, you never bring light; you start analyzing the form from far away. You can go on analyzing: nothing is going to happen out of that analysis. Eastern psychology says: Light a candle, bring the candle to the place, and first see whether the ghost exists at all. If the ghost does not exist, then why bother? Why many, many years of analysis? The analyzed goes on pouring out rubbish, and the analyst goes on dissecting, analyzing, labeling and categorizing the rubbish. Much work goes on, and all futile, much ado about nothing. Western psychology is based on analysis, Eastern psychology is based on awareness. Just watch. There is no need to analyze. Become more and more intensely alert. And if you are aware of a problem, half the problem is already solved just by becoming aware of it. Just a slight awareness of the problem, and half the problem is already solved, because you have taken some energy out of it: that energy has become awareness. Become more aware, and the problem becomes dissolved. Chunk by chunk, the problem disappears as you become aware, because you are pulling back energy which you had been pouring into the problem – that was creating the problem. You are taking your energy back, you are not cooperating any more. You were the creator of the problem: you have taken your energy back. -OSHO From Unio Mystica, V.2, chapter 15

"I just want money though, I really don't care about creating a network of contacts and starting a business, just so I can get money. To me that just seems like too much work for money. I don't know maybe I am just rationalizing not challenging my current identity, but I really would just like spending my time mediating and being a guy who doesn't have a job but can still have money when I want it." ^This is what I see when I read what you wrote. If you don't want sex, fine. Just admit you don't want it and you're not willing to do what it takes. But this idea that you shouldn't have to work, challenge your comfort zone or change yourself in order to get sex is ridiculous. And maybe you could argue that the raw pleasure you get from sex isn't worth all the struggle it would take to get there. But truthfully that's only a small benefit you can get from learning Game. When done right, the real benefit is the growth you get as a person. The fact that you will have to confront deep rooted fears night after night makes Game a healing process for guys who are growing up with this pain point. And that's really just the start. Does that mean you have to learn Game? Of course not, there's many ways to do what I just said. But if you want sex AND you want personal transformation, Game can be a powerful way to grow.

Inspired by Leo's latest video about art, I finally decided to make a video of myself dancing in martial arts type of style. I've been thinking about all the elements that could enhance the video like clothing, accessories, environment, music and of course most importantly dance moves. I know I can do some good moves when I get into the pumped up state but I've never tried recording them before so I'm not sure what it will look like. Though this doesn't matter that much, I truly enjoy practicing martial arts and dancing outdoors, so it's more about me enjoying the process of flowing with the music and feeling one with nature and all surrounding environment, I feel like I'm at a peak of my performance and feel very alive in those moments. This morning, I'm going to drive down Mission Beach, take a micro dose of mushrooms 0.2g, pick a gorgeous looking background and see what kind of video I can come up with, this is going to be just a trial run though, no music, since I'm still waiting for the outdoor speaker to come in. I'm going to be playing around with the wide angle lens and seeing what the best positioning would be for dance type of video and hopefully can get the lighting right. This morning, I was thinking about how I can incorporate symbols into my videos so that people would remember to actually take action on things I'm teaching them. I think what we're lacking these days is not information, but rather an efficient way of learning, organizing and storing that information inside of our minds. I think a "learning system upgrade" is necessary which should start with the foundation of how humans understand reality. At it's most basic are 5 senses, visual being the most important. Symbols, including shapes and colors is what makes up all our visual world, beyond that is the meaning we assign to these basics objects with language. Understanding what the basics symbols are like space, dot, circle, square, triangle, vertical line, horizontal line and learning what they have been associated with can give us a good understanding about the world around us. Since we're immersed in these symbols they can be like constant reminders on the important information we're learning so that we remember to take action. Square is a mental model of reality with limits and boundaries, circle is the source (the canvas), dot is the content within the source (paintings inside the canvas), triangle can be a symbol of body, mind and spirit and remind us to work on all three to have balance in our lives and make the three create a powerful synergistic effect which is what the triangle represents. Similarly colors - black is the color of mastery (martial arts belts), blue is the color of quality of consciousness, the heavens (people couldn't see the color blue until certain time in history, and now people are asleep, not realizing their are divine creators and how powerful their minds truly are). Yellow is the color of joy, happiness, willpower, personal power which we are all the positive feelings we can be reminded of when the sun is shining. White can be a color of purity and enlightment. Green is the color of nature - growth, renewal, transformation, change, creativity, variety, intelligence. Trees are constant reminders of not only the color green, but also "systems thinking" and how we are all connected with nature in a symbiotic relationship. Trees are also like vertical lines, reaching out to heavens which is a symbol for materialistic striving to reunite with the divine, and this is basically what Actualized.org work is all about - raising the quality of consciousness and getting closer to our divinity. So there is a lot of ideas to incorporate symbols, basic shapes and colors and I'm coming up with more and more ideas everyday, there is plenty of other more complex symbols that I'm learning about from the Signs and Symbols Source book and I'm beginning to feel like a mage who is starting to acquire ancient knowledge and power and then learning how to wield these spells and powers to create a new Universe.

very good. i like the approach that mentions suffering as the fuel for transformation. it's very realistic.

@Not a shaolin monk Sex is beautiful, sexuality ugly. And the difference has to be understood. Sex is a natural phenomenon; sexuality is unnatural, abnormal and pathological. When sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters into your head, it becomes sexuality. Now, the head is not the center for sex. That is getting into a confusion, it is getting upside-down, it is getting deranged. Sex is not the function of the head. But when sex enters in through the head it becomes sexuality. Then you THINK about sex, then you fantasize about sex. And the more you think, the more you fantasize about it, the more you will get into trouble. Then nothing real will ever satisfy you, because there is no limitation on fantasy, and reality IS limited. For example, if you start thinking too much about sex you can create beautiful women, women which exist only in your fantasy; you will never find them anywhere in the world. Or men: you will never come across them. No real woman or man will ever satisfy you, because of the fantasy. No real man or woman can fulfill your expectations of fantasy. Fantasy is fantasy; it is a dream. You can fantasize a woman who does not perspire, whose body has no body smell. You can fantasize a woman who is always sweet and never bitter. You can fantasize a woman who is always loving and warm and welcoming and never nags you and is never angry, never throws pillows at you. You can fantasize a woman who never ages, who remains always stuck at eighteen years of age — who is always fresh, always young, always beautiful, never falls ill, never makes any demands on you, never betrays you, never looks at any other man with longing, with desire. You can fantasize to no limit, but you will not find this woman anywhere. Now you have created a problem: you are no more naturally attuned to your sex. Nature is perfectly capable of being fulfilled, but fantasy cannot be fulfilled. You may find your woman in girly magazines, in pornographic books, but you will not find her in reality. And whosoever you do find in reality will fall short. That is the problem the West is facing; it has fantasized too much about sex. The West has become sexual through fantasy, the East has become sexual through repression. Both have become sexual and both have lost the natural capacities of enjoying sex. Both have become pathological, through different routes. The West has become pathological by fantasizing sex to be the ultimate goal of life, and the East has become pathological by thinking that sex is the ultimate barrier between God and man. Sex is neither. Neither is it the ultimate goal nor the ultimate barrier. Sex is a simple phenomenon like hunger or thirst; there is nothing more to it. It is not what the Eastern mind has been thinking about it. The Eastern mind is too afraid of sex. Out of fear, sex has moved into the head; through the door of fear it has entered into the head. So the Eastern so-called saints are simply fantasizing about sex, because they have repressed it. And that which you repress goes on coming up again and again. It cannot be destroyed; nothing can ever be destroyed by repression. Repression makes sex pathological sexuality. This is one extreme. The West has moved to another extreme. The other extreme is, fantasize about it. Sex is all, everything else is secondary, so have as much sex as you can. You cannot really have too much sex, there are limitations to the body. But you can fantasize as much as you want, there is no limitation to it. So pornography exists, blue films exist, girly magazines exist. And people are being fed on these illusory mirages. Then no real woman, no real man, will ever satisfy you. These are both pathological states. Sexuality is pathological, whether you come to it through fear or greed does not matter. The East has become ill through fear, the West has become ill through greed. Greed and fear are two aspects of the same coin. So on the surface it looks very different, as if the Eat and the West are poles apart. They are not. Those who know, those who can see, they can see that it is the same foolishness, the same stupidity. They have arrived at the same stupidity from different doors, that is true, but they have entered into the same place. And both have to be awakened, and both have to be made more enlightened about sex. Don’t make much fuss about sex EITHER way. That is the first fundamental. If you want sex to become love, the first fundamental is: accept sex as an absolutely natural phenomenon. Don’t bring your metaphysics to it, don’t bring your religion to it. It has nothing to do with religion or metaphysics, it is a simple fact of life. It is a way that life reproduces itself. It is as simple as the trees bringing flowers and fruits: you don’t condemn the flowers. Flowers are sex energy; it is through the flowers that the tree is sending its seeds, its potentiality, to reproduce other trees. When a peacock dances you don’t condemn it. But the dance is sex; it is to attract the female. When the cuckoo calls you don’t condemn it; it is sex. The cuckoo is simply declaring, “I am ready.” The cuckoo is simply calling forth the woman. The sound, the beautiful sound, is just a seduction; it is courtship. If you watch life you will be surprised. The whole of life is through sex. Life reproduces itself through sex, it is a natural phenomenon. Don’t drag unnecessary rationalizations into it. This is the first thing to be understood if you ever want any transformation of sex energy. The first thing is: don’t deny it, don’t reject it, don’t repress it. Don’t be too greedy about it, don’t think that this is all — this is not. There is much more to life. And sex is beautiful, yet there is still much more to life. Sex is only the foundation, it is not the whole temple. Repressed, it becomes sexuality. Fantasized, it becomes sexuality. One is an Eastern way of transforming sex into pathology, the other is a Western way. But nobody, either in the East or in the West, accepts that sex is a simple natural phenomenon. Neither the saints nor the sinners, nobody accepts sex to be a simple natural phenomenon. Both are obsessed with it, hence I say both are not different. Sex accepted, respected, lived, becomes love. Just as I was saying to you the other day, when sadness is there, accept it: it is you. Don’t say, “I am sad.” Say, “I am sadness.” Don’t say, “I have sadness” — it is as if you are separate and sadness is something that you have. Simply say, “I am sadness.” In that moment there is no division between you and what you call sadness. In that moment you ARE sadness. The next moment you may be peace, and still the next moment you may be joy. Life is change. Life knows only one thing as permanent, and that is change. Only change is unchanging; everything else changes except change. That means only change has eternity. It is a continuum; you are not a fixed thing. And it is good that you are not fixed, otherwise you would have been a thing, a commodity in the marketplace. You are a no-thing. You are not a fixed phenomenon; you are a constant opening, you are change. One moment there is sadness, and the river takes a turn. Another moment there is joy, and the river takes still another turn and there is peace. And it goes on and on. The moment has to be accepted in its totality: it is you. When there is sex, there is sex: it is you. Don’t say, “I have a sexual desire.” That is a way of dividing yourself, that is a way of creating a split. If you have a sexual desire then there are two possibilities. If you are against it repress it: that is the Eastern way of becoming mad, insane and pathological. The other way is, “I have the sex desire: how to enhance it? How to make it more intense? How to enjoy it to the optimum?” That is the way of greed, the Western way. But the end is the same, the end-product is the same: both become obsessed with it. Just let it be, whatsoever it is. It is you. You don’t have a sex desire; if you have a sex desire then something can be done to the sex desire. If you are it, nothing can be done about it, because there is nobody else to do anything: you ARE it. This has to become the meditation of all my sannyasins: you are it, there is no division. Just see the beauty of it. When there is no division there is no conflict. When there is no division there is no fear, no greed. It is division that brings fear and greed. Greed and fear are your interpretations of the division, but the division is first and then come your interpretations. The sex desire is there, you take it as something separate that is happening to you. It is like a thing in your hands: now you have to decide whether you want more or less of it, as if it is something of which you can have more or less. It is as it is; there is no more, no less. Simply live it, be it, love it. This is your moment, this is the truth of the moment. And never compare, because one moment ago it was not there. So don’t start comparing, because comparison again brings a split. Next moment it may be gone again. Don’t compare. Life is change. That’s what Buddha said: Life is change. That’s what Heraclitus said: You cannot step in the same river twice. Life, the river, is constantly moving. Deep down you want life to be static. Why? Because with a static and dormant life you will be more safe, more secure. But life is not dormant, only death is dormant. Life is dynamic, flowing — the more flowing it is, the more alive you are. Life is not a stagnant pool, it is a river. It is the Ganges, coming from the Himalayas, going to the ocean, coming from the heights, going to the depths. And again from the ocean the Ganges will evaporate from the depths to the heights, and again the clouds will gather on the Himalayas and again the river will be born. It is a beautiful perfect circle. That’s how you move. Each moment has to be accepted as it is, with no condemnation, with no evaluation. And when you can accept sex as natural, it stops being cerebral. It drops from the head, it goes to the sex center where it belongs. If sex remains in the sex center it is beautiful. If it goes to the head it is ugly. Eating is beautiful. You are hungry and you eat and it is needed; it is nourishment. But then there are two types of people. A few people eat too much: eating too much means the head has entered into it. When you are eating, the body is always sane. The body always says to you, “Stop now.” It immediately gives you an indication, a signal: “It is enough, now stop! No more is needed, my needs are fulfilled.” But the head says, “It is so tasty, it is so delicious — have one plate more.” It is the head, it is not the body. The body is recoiling, the body is saying, “No!” The body is always sane. And this is one of the fundamentals I would like to tell you about. Down the ages, your so-called saints have been telling you that the body is your enemy. It is not; the body is always your friend. If there is some enemy it is the head, never the body. The body is always sane. Watch it. I am not talking philosophy, I am simply stating a fact. See for yourself: if you are ill the body says, “Don’t eat.” But the head says, “If you don’t eat you will become weak. So many vitamins are absolutely needed; you will become pale, you will not be strong.” This is the head. The body is saying, “You are ill, and to eat will be unnecessarily burdening the system. The system needs rest; it is better not to eat.” And that’s what animals do. No animal will eat when he is ill; he simply stops eating. That’s what children do, no children will eat. But grown-ups will force them: they will say, “Eat, otherwise you will become ill, you will become more weak. You need it.” They force them. You can see small children crying and their mothers forcing them: “Eat a little more.” It is the head that creates the trouble. And then there are people who will fast when there is no need for fasting. The body is hungry, but if you ar a Jaina and the PARUSHANA, your religious days, have come, you have to fast. The body is hungry and the body wants food, but you cannot eat because unfortunately you are a Jaina and the religious days are there and if you eat you will be thrown into hellfire. It is the head interfering. The body says, “Eat,” but unfortunately you are a Mohammedan and it is the month of RAMADAN and you have to fast. Now this is the head interfering. The head interferes in two ways: either it makes you indulgent or it makes you repressive. Again, one is the Eastern way, another is the Western way. Eat more than is needed: this is indulgence. Don’t eat when the body needs food: this is fasting, this is repression. It is always the head that interferes. It interferes in your food, it interferes in your sex, it interferes in your sleep, it goes on interfering in everything! Remember the Zen master, the great Zen master, Bokuju. Somebody asked him, “What is your discipline?” He said, “No discipline at all. When I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel sleepy I sleep. And no other discipline.” The man said, “But this is what we all do.” And Bokuju said, “No. It is very rare to find a person who does it, because one who does it becomes a buddha. Only a buddha can do it truly.” You don’t eat according to the needs of the body, you don’t sleep according to the needs of the body. You go on imposing your head needs on the body. That interference makes everything pathological. That’s how sex is disturbed and becomes sexuality. If sex is accepted, respected, lived, it becomes love. The way is: first sexuality has to come back to sex. Directly, there is no way, no route; from sexuality to love there is no route. There is simply no route, nothing can be done about it. From sexuality to love there is no route, because sexuality is in the head, and love is a heart phenomenon. From sexuality come back to the sex center. From sex to love there is a direct route; they are bridged. In fact nothing needs to be done. Just live your sex moments with utter joy, silence, peacefulness, with celebration. Live your sex moments meditatively, and meditation transforms sex into love. Not only does sex become love: one day it becomes prayer, worship. It goes higher and higher. The highest form is prayer, the lowest form is sex. Between the two is love, love is the bridge. And sexuality is abnormal, it is pathological, it is ill. So whether you have chosen a path of being pathological like the Eastern people or like the Western people, it doesn’t matter. Accept your life a sit is, and let the acceptance be as total as possible. When you don’t fight with yourself your energy starts falling into a subtle harmony. And that harmony brings you t love. And when the harmony becomes more and more refined, it brings you to prayer. And unless sex has become prayer, remember, the goal has not been achieved. Source – Osho Book “Unio Mystica, Vol 1″

Blissfulness is ecstasy without excitement , it is not not happiness. If you are not blissful, then you need spiritual transformation.

If you are intrinsically spiritual then you don't need to do special exercises, but if you are miserable than you need transformation. You can start with the body, if you find it difficult to start with the mind. Everybody can't start transformation by doing nothing, philosophizing, contemplation.

@Shanmugam 29 If any one should wish to get the kingdom for himself, and to effect this by what he does, I see that he will not succeed. The kingdom is a spirit-like thing, and cannot be got by active doing. He who would so win it destroys it; he who would hold it in his grasp loses it. The course and nature of things is such that What was in front is now behind; What warmed anon we freezing find. Strength is of weakness oft the spoil; The store in ruins mocks our toil. Hence the sage puts away excessive effort, extravagance, and easy indulgence. 37 The Tao in its regular course does nothing (for the sake of doing it), and so there is nothing which it does not do. If princes and kings were able to maintain it, all things would of themselves be transformed by them. If this transformation became to me an object of desire, I would express the desire by the nameless simplicity. Simplicity without a name Is free from all external aim. With no desire, at rest and still, All things go right as of their will. 56 He who knows (the Tao) does not (care to) speak (about it); he who is (ever ready to) speak about it does not know it. He (who knows it) will keep his mouth shut and close the portals (of his nostrils). He will blunt his sharp points and unravel the complications of things; he will attemper his brightness, and bring himself into agreement with the obscurity (of others). This is called 'the Mysterious Agreement.' (Such an one) cannot be treated familiarly or distantly; he is beyond all consideration of profit or injury; of nobility or meanness:--he is the noblest man under heaven.

@Ilya You can go into meditation just by sitting, but then be just sitting; do not do anything else. If you can be just sitting, it becomes meditation. Be completely in the sitting; nonmovement should be your only movement. In fact, the word Zen comes from the word zazen, which means, just sitting, doing nothing. If you can just sit, doing nothing with your body and nothing with your mind, it becomes meditation; but it is difficult. You can sit very easily when you are doing something else but the moment you are just sitting and doing nothing, it becomes a problem. Every fiber of the body begins to move inside; every vein, every muscle, begins to move. You will begin to feel a subtle trembling; you will be aware of many points in the body of which you have never been aware before. And the more you try to just sit, the more movement you will feel inside you. So sitting can be used only if you have done other things first. You can just walk, that is easier. You can just dance, that is even easier. And after you have been doing other things that are easier, then you can sit. Sitting in a buddha posture is the last thing to do really; it should never be done in the beginning. Only after you have begun to feel identified totally with movement can you begin to feel totally identified with nonmovement. So I never tell people to begin with just sitting. Begin from where beginning is easy, otherwise you will begin to feel many things unnecessarily ¯ things that are not there. If you begin with sitting, you will feel much disturbance inside. The more you try to just sit, the more disturbance will be felt; you will become aware only of your insane mind and nothing else. It will create depression, you will feel frustrated. You will not feel blissful; rather, you will begin to feel that you are insane. And sometimes you may really go insane. If you make a sincere effort to 'just sit,' you may really go insane. Only because people do not really try sincerely does insanity not happen more often. With a sitting posture you begin to know so much madness inside you that if you are sincere and continue it, you may really go insane. It has happened before, so many times; so I never suggest anything that can create frustration, depression, sadness ¯ anything that will allow you to be too aware of your insanity. You may not be ready to be aware of all the insanity that is inside you; you must be allowed to get to know certain things gradually. Knowledge is not always good; it must unfold itself slowly as your capacity to absorb it grows. I begin with your insanity, not with a sitting posture; I allow your insanity. If you dance madly, the opposite happens within you. With a mad dance, you begin to be aware of a silent point within you; with sitting silently, you begin to be aware of madness. The opposite is always the point of awareness. With your dancing madly, chaotically, with crying, with chaotic breathing, I allow your madness. Then you begin to be aware of a subtle point, a deep point inside you that is silent and still, in contrast to the madness on the periphery. You will feel very blissful; at your center there is an inner silence. But if you are just sitting, then the inner one is the mad one; you are silent on the outside, but inside you are mad. If you begin with something active ¯ something positive, alive, moving ¯ it will be better; then you will begin to feel an inner stillness growing. The more it grows, the more it will be possible for you to use a sitting posture or a lying posture ¯ the more silent meditation will be possible. But by then things will be different, totally different. A meditation technique that begins with movement, action, helps you in other ways, also. It becomes a catharsis. When you are just sitting, you are frustrated; your mind wants to move and you are just sitting. Every muscle turns, every nerve turns. You are trying to force something upon yourself that is not natural for you; then you have divided yourself into the one who is forcing and the one who is being forced. And really, the part that is being forced and suppressed is the more authentic part; it is a more major part of your mind than the part that is suppressing, and the major part is bound to win. That which you are suppressing is really to be thrown, not suppressed. It has become an accumulation within you because you have been constantly suppressing it. The whole upbringing, the civilization, the education, is suppressive. You have been suppressing much that could have been thrown very easily with a different education, with a more conscious education, with a more aware parenthood. With a better awareness of the inner mechanism of the mind, the culture could have allowed you to throw many things. For example, when a child is angry we tell him, 'Do not be angry.' He begins to suppress anger. By and by, what was a momentary happening becomes permanent. Now he will not act angry, but he will remain angry. We have accumulated so much anger from what were just momentary things; no one can be angry continuously unless anger has been suppressed. Anger is a momentary thing that comes and goes: if it is expressed, then you are no longer angry. So with me, I would allow the child to be angry more authentically. Be angry, but be deep in it; do not suppress it. Of course, there will be problems. If we say, 'Be angry,' then you are going to be angry with someone. But a child can be molded; he can be given a pillow and told, 'Be angry with the pillow. Be violent with the pillow.' From the very beginning, a child can be brought up in a way in which the anger is just deviated. Some object can be given to him: he can go on throwing the object until his anger goes. Within minutes, within seconds, he will have dissipated his anger and there will be no accumulation of it. You have accumulated anger, sex, violence, greed, everything! Now this accumulation is a madness within you. It is there, inside you. If you begin with any suppressive meditation ¯ for example, with just sitting ¯ you are suppressing all of this, you are not allowing it to be released. So I begin with a catharsis. First, let the suppressions be thrown into the air; and when you can throw your anger into the air, you have become mature. If I cannot be loving alone, if I can be loving only with someone I love, then, really, I am not mature yet. Then I am depending on someone even to be loving; someone must be there, then I can be loving. Then that loving can only be a very superficial thing; it is not my nature. If I am alone in the room I am not loving at all, so the loving quality has not gone deep; it has not become a part of my being. You become more and more mature when you are less and less dependent. If you can be angry alone, you are more mature. You do not need any object to be angry. So I make a catharsis in the beginning a must. You must throw everything into the sky, into the open space, without being conscious of any object. Be angry without the person with whom you would like to be angry. Weep without finding any cause; laugh, just laugh, without anything to laugh at. Then you can just throw the whole accumulated thing ¯ you can just throw it. And once you know the way, you are unburdened of the whole past. Within moments you can be unburdened of the whole life ¯ of lives even. If you are ready to throw everything, if you can allow your madness to come out, within moments there is a deep cleansing. Now you are cleansed: fresh, innocent ¯ you are a child again. Now, in your innocence, sitting meditation can be done ¯ just sitting, or just lying or anything ¯ because now there is no mad one inside to disturb the sitting. Cleansing must be the first thing ¯ a catharsis ¯ otherwise, with breathing exercises, with just sitting, with practicing asanas, yogic postures, you are just suppressing something. And a very strange thing happens: when you have allowed everything to be thrown out, sitting will just happen, asanas will just happen ¯ it will be spontaneous. You may not have known anything about yoga asanas but you begin to do them. Now these postures are authentic, real. They bring much transformation inside your body because now the body itself is doing them, you are not forcing them. For example, when someone has thrown many things out, he may begin to try to stand on his head. He may have never learned to do shirshasan, the headstand, but now his whole body is trying to do it. This is a very inner thing now; it comes from his inner body wisdom, not from his mind's intellectual, cerebral information. If his body insists, 'Go and stand on your head!' and he allows it, he will feel very refreshed, very changed by it. You may do any posture, but I allow these postures only when they come by themselves. Someone can sit down and be silent in siddhasan or in any other posture, but this siddhasan is something quite different; the quality differs. He is trying to be silent in sitting ¯ but this is a happening, there is no suppression, there is no effort; it is just how your body feels. Your total being feels to sit. In this sitting there is no divided mind, no suppression. This sitting becomes a flowering. You must have seen statues of Buddha sitting on a flower, a lotus flower. The lotus is just symbolic; it is symbolic of what is happening inside Buddha. When 'just sitting' happens from the inside, you feel just like the opening of a flower. Nothing is being suppressed from the outside; rather, there is a growth, an opening from the inside; something inside opens and flowers. You can imitate Buddha's posture, but you cannot imitate the flower. You can sit completely buddhalike ¯ even more buddhalike than Buddha ¯ but the inside flowering will not be there. It cannot be imitated. You can use tricks. You can use breathing rhythms that can force you to be still, to suppress your mind. Breath can be used very suppressively because with every rhythm of breath a particular mood arises in your mind. Not that other moods disappear; they just go into hiding. You can force anything on yourself. If you want to be angry, just breathe the rhythm that happens in anger. Actors do it, when they want to express anger they change their breathing rhythm; the breathing rhythm must become the same as when there is anger. By making the rhythm fast they begin to feel anger, the anger part of the mind comes up. So breathing rhythm can be used to suppress the mind, to suppress anything in the mind. But it is not good, it is not a flowering. The other way is better; when your mind changes and then, as a consequence, your breath changes; the change comes first from the mind. So I use breathing rhythm as a sign. A person who remains at ease with himself constantly remains in the same breathing rhythm; it never changes because of the mind. It will change because of the body ¯ if you are running it will change ¯ but it never changes because of the mind. So tantra has used many, many breathing rhythms as secret keys. They even allow sexual intercourse as a meditation, but they allow it only when your breathing rhythm remains constant in intercourse, otherwise not. If the mind is involved, then the breathing rhythm cannot remain the same, and if the breathing rhythm remains the same, the mind is not involved at all. If the mind is not involved even in such a deep biological thing as sexual intercourse, then the mind will not be involved in anything else. But you can force. You can sit and force a particular rhythm on your body, you can create a fallacious buddhalike posture, but you will just be dead. You will become dull, stupid. It has happened to so many monks, so many sadhus; they just become stupid. Their eyes have no light of intelligence; their faces are just idiotic, with no inner light, no inner flame. Because they are so afraid of any inner movement, they have suppressed everything ¯ including intelligence. Intelligence is a movement, one of the most subtle movements, so if all inner movement is suppressed, intelligence will be affected. Awareness is not a static thing. Awareness, too, is movement ¯ a dynamic flow. So if you start from the outside, if you force yourself to sit like a statue, you are killing much. First be concerned with catharsis, with cleaning out your mind, throwing everything out, so that you become empty and vacant ¯ just a passage for something from the beyond to enter. Then sitting becomes helpful, silence becomes helpful, but not before. To me, silence in itself is not something worthwhile. You can create a silence that is a dead silence. Silence must be alive, dynamic. If you 'create' silence, you will become more stupid, more dull, more dead; but this is easier in a way, and so many people are doing it now. The whole culture is so suppressive that it is easier to suppress yourself still more. Then you do not have to take any risks, then you do not have to take a jump. People come to me and say, 'Tell us a meditation technique that we can practice silently.' Why this fear? Everyone has a madhouse inside and still they say, 'Tell us a technique that we can do silently.' With a silent technique you can only become more and more mad ¯ silently ¯ and nothing else. The doors of your madhouse must be opened! Don't be afraid of what others will say. A person who is concerned about what others think can never go inward. He will be too busy worrying about what others are saying, what they are thinking. If you just sit silently, closing your eyes, everything will be okay; your wife or your husband will say that you have become a very good person. Everyone wants you to be dead; even mothers want their children to be dead ¯ obedient, silent. The whole society wants you to be dead. So-called good men are really dead men. So don't be concerned with what others think, don't be concerned about the image that others may have of you. Begin with catharsis and then something good can flower within you. It will have a different quality, a different beauty, altogether different; it will be authentic. When silence comes to you, when it descends on you, it is not a false thing. You have not been cultivating it; it comes to you; it happens to you. You begin to feel it growing inside you just like a mother begins to feel a child growing. A deep silence is growing inside you; you become pregnant with it. Only then is there transformation; otherwise it is just self-deception. And one can deceive oneself for lives and lives ¯ the capacity to do so is infinite. Osho, Meditation: The Art of Ecstasy , Talk #5

@Loreena Just like people, and as silly as it sounds stones/crystals can absorb energy/emotions/feelings and actually need a break. Everything is made of energy, and has a vibration, and so do stones and crystals. I've had experiences where I've bought brand new necklaces and they broke shortly after because I didn't cleanse and take care of them. Last year, I had a malachite pendant that fell off my necklace in my car. It was the craziest thing, I swear on my life, this stone every time I tried to grab it, it went even further under my car seat! For REAL!! The good news is malachite is great for safe traveling, so I had no problem keeping it there! lol I'm sure it was because I had over used the pendant without cleansing it. Just the day before, I was a passenger in my friends car and he wasn't looking where he was going and almost crashed into another car...inches away. I was wearing that pendant when it happened....we should have been in an accident...I firmly believe the necklace was a big contributing factor to my safety! There are different ways to cleanse stones/crystals and clear their vibrations. (ex: washing them with running water, placing them in the sun light/moon light for 24 hours, sound therapy, sending reiki, etc.) https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14887/how-to-clear-activate-store-your-crystals.html I'm no expert in crystals yet, but I have been told by a few crystal experts that you don't pick the crystals, they pick you. (A lot of people use crystal pendulums to choose their stones/crystals) But that wouldn't constitute a reason to have bad luck, or the drastic set of events that occurred for you. Crystals don't retaliate against people! I can tell you from personal experience and the Law of Attraction, that we can attract a cycle of bad luck to us by our feelings. I've had days where things go drastically wrong, with one turn of an event after another, and usually I'm in a really negative vibration (negative mood) the whole day, so I keep attracting more bad things. And the same has happened with good days...everything just goes right. I wish the Law of Attraction was a major topic on this forum. It sounds like I'll have to start a forum topic some time soon about Positive/Negative Energy and the Law of Attraction. The good thing about stones and crystals and their meanings is that it's so easy to look them up on the internet. I have a few books about crystals and their meanings but I haven't had the time to get reading all of them yet! I'm actually preparing to take another Reiki Certification class in early August, so I probably will be disappearing from this forum for the next few weeks very soon. So if you don't see me around replying, that's probably why. Here is a link here that shows a few crystals for good luck. I just typed into google "stones for good luck" and this was one of the sites that came up. http://www.energymuse.com/blog/crystals-for-good-luck/ This is one of the books I have at home that I need to read. There are so many stones, and they all have different abilities, and resonate with different chakras. I was told by my reiki instructor it takes quite some time to learn this stuff. Atleast for using "Crystal Reiki" it is an extensive set of courses. What's great is a lot of these books you can look up key phrases like "good luck", "wealth", "opening the third eye" etc. and they will point you to what stones to work with. http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/labradorite/ Labradorite (also called Spectrolite sometimes) is a considered by mystics to be a stone of transformation and magic. It is said to clear, balance and protect the aura, as well as being an excellent stone for general protection. It is purported to help provide clarity and insight into your destiny, as well as attract success. It is used in metaphysics for dream recall, and finding ways to use dreams in daily life. Mystically, energies of stress and anxiety are said to be reduced by labradorite, possibly due to is energy of self-confidence. Labradorite is said to increase intuition, psychic development, esoteric wisdom, help with subconscious issues, and provide mental illumination. In crystal healing and folklore, Labradorite is said to help with eyes, sight, diagnosis, brain, digestion, metabolism, warts. Note that healing crystal meanings are spiritual supports to healing and are not prescriptions or healthcare information. Labradorite is associated with the solar plexus and brow chakras.

Hey Leo, Im new here and i only go into spirituality recently through Julien Himself's Transformation Mastery. There seems like so many different types of meditation - subconcious releases, emptying mind, and now like this enlightenment excercise where you focus on "what am i". Whats the right one.. which do i invest my time into?

I used to be convinced that no-fap, (particularly the act of retaining sexual fluids) was a definite route of increasing energy, confidence, happiness, health, radiance, etc etc etc... I experimented a lot when I was a bit younger and had interesting results. Personally however I can no longer be sure that the connection is as direct as I had assumed because in my experience, it is possible to create this level of transformation and MORE simply through intent - that is the power of belief. It is possible to transform from depression, mental fog, insecurity and low level functioning into very high states that are sustainable for moderate periods of time simply through a correctly or conveniently placed intention or belief. This can carry profound physiological changes alongside it. Therefore, it is difficult to state just how much of a correlation there is between not masturbating and the array of profound effects that people claim. Happiness is an internal birthright and it's possible that people are temporarily taking claim to it through this 'permission slip'. I also have noticed that not many high masters have gone in depth about the connection between well-being, energy and masturbation. I have a theory that it may be because people would take it as pejorative and it may create sexual tension/shame in people - and suppressing the sexual drive can cause unforeseen consequences. Or perhaps the connection is overblown entirely.

Self-development is similar to experimenting with what we eat in life. Some only eat-out, some only cook their own, and most do both. Self-development often requires much transformation from the norm. Those that do so are alchemists, they do a fair bit of cooking. I was once invited to a foundation meeting for the Alternative Sciences and Technologies Research Organisation (ASTRO). While people were gathering for the meeting I was wondering around listening to people sprouting all sorts of read knowledge but without any practical experiences. It was sad to see that only one man showed any experimentation, even though he lacked practical know-how. He came to the meeting to find that know-how but found none from the others. They could not relate to him what he needed to know. @Shane597 If you can help others, through your own experience, to become more practical with their self-development, then that would be the greatest way to help others.

I'm trying to build a strong foundation for learning before I completely immerse myself in all the books I want to read on my list. The reason is inefficient reading, learning, memorizing, understanding, comprehending and even thinking and I'm frustrated by it, so like a good programmer, I want to master the mind and optimize these learning systems before I move forward with "writing code" or reading books and understanding reality. So the books I recently finished reading are Systems Thinking, Unlimited Memory and Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, I also started reading How to Read a Book and Signs and Symbols Sourcebook. The first, most fundamental system that I want to redesign and optimize is the Thinking System, so I'm trying to apply Systems Thinking to Thinking System of the mind. All information is the obvious inflow into the system, which can be either external (text, audio, visuals - environment (nature, people, movies, pictures, symbols, colors, shapes)), or internal - memories, thoughts. Some of the outflow that the Thinking System creates are behavior (movement, emotions, reactions, verbal communication), reality, paradigm, self-image, memories (short term and long term) and other thoughts. I think the stock in this Thinking System would be "active thoughts", in a similar way how the CPU is processing information. There is also another component to "active thoughts" - conscious and sub-conscious, and to continue using the computer analogy, conscious thoughts would be an open program like "Adobe Photoshop" and sub-conscious thoughts would be like programs running in the background. Since we're concentrating on Thinking at this time, I think it's also important to be aware of the "link" between active thoughts, both conscious and sub-conscious and how they create other thoughts. Installing meditation software. So from this break down of the Thought System, we can already make some useful conclusions, for example: the more I become aware of sub-conscious thoughts, the more freedom I will have to choose what thoughts I want to add, subtract and what kind of links I want to create between those thoughts. (eg: I became aware that I was blaming my parents for bringing me up in a way that created a lot of judgement, critisizm and limited beliefs in me), by becoming mindful of those sub-conscious thoughts, I realized it wasn't my parents creating these negativities in my life anymore, but rather myself (I am my worst enemy). Another example is choosing how to link thoughts to other thoughts that I want: a thought about my parents suffering because of their alcoholism and negative lifestyle triggered (link) thoughts (or rather emotionally charged thoughts) of pity, guilt, and sadness. As I became aware of these negative links, I could further analyze all the reasons behind these negative thoughts triggered by my parents and I can now create new, positive thoughts (new links): compassion, unconditional love, understanding, motivation (healing myself will heal and help them). These are just a couple of examples of intervening (taking advantage of leverage points) within this system's internal information flows. Similarly, we can intervene in the external information flows: 1) unplugging from all toxic sources of information 2) establishing quality information flows which are as closely related to helping the system achieve it's goal (Leo's videos, books) 3) create new links in everyday objects in the environment (tree is a system, green is a color of nature, nature is creative, intelligent, diverse, sun is a symbol for - Stage Yellow systems thinking, it's the source of power (solar plexus chakra), yellow is a color of joy, happiness etc.) there are countless ways of how we can integrate everyday objects and nature and making them reminders for triggering emotions and thoughts that we want to trigger, instead of allowing our minds to create random associations (links) even if they are negative and don't serve our system's purpose. This is the reason I want to study Symbols and bought a book called Signs and Symbols Sourcebook which is already giving me a ton of ideas for more associations within the environment and more effective thinking, eg: space is a symbol for absolute infinity/god, dot is the symbol for beginning and end (the content within the absolute), vertical line is a symbol for physical body reaching for the reunion with the divine (spiritual development), trees are vertical so it can now be a constant reminder for enlightment. From the Systems Thinking, the best place to intervene is in the System Paradigm, this is what happened to me when I took 5g powdered mushrooms, just about four months ago, which completely shifted my whole view of reality and myself and the reason why I'm on an unstoppable hero's journey of transformation and personal growth right now. By applying the concepts from Thinking in Systems, we can look not only at the world's problems, but ourselves, and our minds as the most complex biological machines and start applying the concepts from the book to all the leverage points, redesigning and optimizing our systems to become super computers, super humans, sages, saints, geniuses, demigods!

The idea is to get to really be honest with yourself to see how your ego plays a role in your life. Mainly that it always seeks validation, because it is not valid, but just a story the mind has created to make sense of itself. The more validation it can gather the more energy it has to exploit itself and others for more validation. This energy (validity) is what I refer to as ego-energy or self-esteem. Esteem means 'respect and admiration'. How to get around this is to truly know and accept yourself (good and bad). Be your own judge, but be okay with yourself too, since nobody is perfect. In this way, by being true to yourself, and accepting it, you'll know that you are still okay, even without external validation. You may see yourself lower than a worm, but you will also know that this worm is still capable of loving, caring and true. From this, is where your okayness is centered/located. This transformation from basing your life on your fearful deceptive self to basing it on your loving true Self, is like building up enough self-esteem to a point of no longer needing it. You'll know when this becomes you for all that matters in life is to be true, genuine and real. You will value this above anything else, even relationships, even all the money in China (so to speak), and it all comes from within you.

Here I am. It's infinite. Haha. Do you understand? It is infinite! It's fucking infinite! You are the only thing that ever existed. You are Hitler, you are Jesus, you are a child playing in the sand. The ego structure is all a big infinite matrix. The more you try to deconstruct it, the bigger it gets. What does really matter? No matter what you're doing, you're doing correctly. You are in the matrix! I am the matrix. I am you. I am infinite compassion, infinite guilt, infinite shame, infinite hatred, infinite lives, infinite language, infinite porn. It's all the same thing. If you study computers, you will understand that you are exactly it. What holds all this web? Nothing and everything. Life is a fucking paradox. Infinite compassion or infinite hatred? The idea I have about my life and all my petty problems are joke because I am you. I am my dog. I am the dust. I am the worst criminal. On a different time and space. IT IS ALL A FUCKING CYCLE! HAHAHA It is infinite! It never ends whether you want it or not. Consciousness is infinite. We are all made of the same fabric. The petty that I have, you have also. The self-censorship within myself is present in all human beings. I am just a fucking cell. The strangest thing is that you cannot grasp this. It is as if trying to stop time. I don't know, I am just confused here. It all starts with the first step. All huge successes started with a first step. Do it imperfectly but start. This realization of our true nature requires tons of responsibility and at the same time zero responsibility. In a way, I am just a tiny cell of the Manifestation of consciousness. I don't have any fucking responsibility, and at the same time I know that the animals that are getting slaughtered are ME! All the children that ever felt hurt, abandoned, or rejected are actually myself. As I mention, it is infinite. I am you, remember? Haha. All this idea of "my" life seemed like a joke. Of course I will born again. I am infinite. INFINITE! HAHAHA. I am all that ever was. I am so grateful to Leo for all his hard work. I am so grateful for everybody who spend hours and hours on this forum and feel like you're destroying your life. All I can say is: it is infinite. Infinite births and deaths. Infinite situations. Infinite possibilities of the mind. Infinite lifetimes. You were Cleopatra. Haha. It is all one hahaha. Infinite judgements. Infinite shame. Infinite tension. Infinite relaxation. Infinite infinity. Hahaha! I feel so fucking inspired. I feel like I had a glimpse of who I really am. It's so crazy to see that this lifetime is just a cycle. YOU ARE AN ILLUSION. There is no one who is writing here. My cells are like cars on a busy avenue. There isn't much I can do except engage in consciousness. It fucking is infinte hahaha When you notice that, you will start laughing. This is all a fucking structure. The moment you brake it, a larger, harder structure emerges immediately. HAHAH it's infinite. All people you walked by today are actually you. You are your cat. You are me. I feel fucking amazing. A HUGE pressure was lifted off my shoulders. Sure, i will forget this insight infinite times, but it is there. No matter the situation, here you are. You are everything that ever existed. Just on a different space and time. You are literally your mom and dad. I am my ancestors. If we trace down to the start, there is only one. We are leaves of the same tree. Infinite leaves. You cannot die. What dies is the structure. BOOM! Gone. I keep repeating "it's infinite" as if my life depended on this. Ha. Having the insight of no-self, a natural feeling compassion arises. You simply get people. You are like, "oh, why i am going to judge this person if I am that?" I have been quite selfish lately, and that doesn't make much sense. To reach these higher stages, you have to face infinite fear. The bigger the fear, the bigger the expansion. We are composed of polarities. I had a very beautiful image in my mind in which i recalled a conversation i had with a close friend this week. i could see from his point of view. and i could also feel that he had the insight of interbeing. it was as if he was seeing and sensing everything that i was feeling because he is extremely developed and has gone through infinite hells haha. It is so fucking obvious haha. I am beginning to lose it. But... did I ever had it? Gone. "Make me one with everything." HAHA, i remembered that joke during the trip. haha. life IS a trip. infinite trips. haha. infinite hatred. infinite egos. infinite fear. infinite courage. infinite repetition because it is right under your nose and you don't see it haha. "You keep wanting wanting so much, why not want EVERYTHING?" Jack Kornfield it doesn't make much sense writing this name since he is me. HAHAHA. I can't stop laughing. It is all a fucking matrix, infinite structure. My mind simply cannot graps what I have experienced. I felt for all the highly schizophrenic folks out there (actually, in here (:P). Language is infinite. I have been a pretty lazy-ass guy, but to Existence this doesn't fucking matter. It is a never ending process. You = Buddha = Hitler = Leo = Donald Trump Can you see that these are only names? Do you grasp how shallow "names" and "dates" are? It is a joke to plan because all we have is the now. hHAaha. if you still have checkboxes to check before remembering who you TRULY are, well, the checkboxes are infinite. Haha. It is a dark hole. I am Christopher Hitchens HAHAHA. It is so hilarious. For most part I think, "dude, I am going crazy." Good. Awareness is beyond everything. Because it is fucking infinite. I want to program that into your mind. It is all infinite. Anyway, thanks to all the Buddhas, thanks to all my reflections I come across. Pure joy awaits you. And pure pain awaits you. Pure monkey mind. Everything I wrote is monkey mind. It is pointing to something greater. It is possible to escape the matrix? No, you're part of it. It is like a cell trying to rebel against all the trillion cells haha. haha. it is so beyond you. I want you to experience this. We are very priviliged to get the ultimate knowledge from all these amazing people out there - matt kahn, infinite waters, leo. People waste so much time with traditional dual ways of worshipping a God as if there were gonna be a "reward". It is like this, a drop of water remember that it is water. it's infinite, remember? i warn you: once you get this experience, your ego will quickly get bored. It will come up with infinite thoughts, judgements, projections. It's ok but realize all this monkey mind is like a never-ending hole. The more you engage in thinking, the more content is generated. simple as that. so what activities can you do that will bring you back into harmony? actually. everything is in harmony. The thing is, "other thoughts cannot deeply change other thoughts." The key is expand your awareness. And psychedelics are a HUGE time-saver (haha, time is an illusion). life is a trip. that's all I can say. hahah At some point I wanted to take more ayahuasca, but then I thought, "shit! i want take more of myself." it is as if i was in lack, lacking the proper clothes, lacking... always lacking... dude, remember to fry the big fish. things take care of themselves. it's hard to trust, but that's it. you have no control. but You have all control. i feel very humble. i feel like listening to people. it is all so beautiful. even lower conscious behaviors. they all stem from the desire to be happy. yet we don't pay attention to the results we're getting. anyway, that's it dude or girl. I feel in a way like just a matter of recognizing who you are. it's infinite fun. it's infinite seriousness. poles. positivity or negativity. We are included in everything. I feel like I am a cell telling to other cells that there is a bigger body we're part of. And this body is part of the cells of the world. And the world is a cell. Micro and macro. You are your heart!! Even though you don't pay attention to it, it is working 24/7. can you imagine that? it never fucking stops till you're gone. Haha. you'll be gone soon hahahha. me too i am the youngest, i am the oldest, i am the billionaire, i am the poorest, i am the saint, i am everything in between also. including yourself. hah. it is funny to send messages to your other selves. people, if you feel stuck, please consider trying psychedelics. i can understand why I have been going through hell. It is not possible to expand your awareness otherwise. haha. because it includes everything. well, as you can read, it is a real mind boggler haha. if you can let yourself go for a moment, it happens. you'll go, "OH MY GOD! that's fucking obvious." my desire is to be ok with being part of this matrix. and really, no matter what I do is absolutely correct. it never ends. you don't have to throw away anything. you don't need to get rid of your overthinking, your bad habits. haha. the idea that you have any control at all is an illusion. let us remember lavoisier (a.k.a., yourself), "nothing can be created. nothing can be destroyed. everything is transformed." transformation. you are a metamorphosis of your dad and mom ahaha. i am laughing so hard at myself right now because "i exist as i am. that is enough." you don't to change the world. when you change yourself, the world *which is you* transforms. there are the individual level and the collective level of awakening. I love this word. Awakening. You are the Buddha. Dude, how did we stayed for 42 days meditating under that Boddhi tree? to me, the message is clear: you have no control over anything. have you seen what happens when a person drops a bad habit? a brand-new arises. in most cases, it is even a worse one. we are so stuck in this vortex of endless information that we forget what is beyond all this. The Silent Observer. actually, there is no observer. got it? probably not because it is ungraspabble. everything i wrote here is being repeated over and over. maybe it is time to take a deep breath. and learn how to surf. i feel like the more I write, the farther the Truth goes. Words are endless. Unfortunately it is not possible to feel it through words -- but only through direct experience. So I applaud you for being on this forum, watching Leo's content, and really educating yourself what is possible. Haha, there's nothing left to say. I feel like everything else is secondary. i'm curious to see my upcoming days. haha. that's a lie. haha. correct less, do more. dude, i feel so stuck right now. again, i am lost in this maze. i feel like i am slowly conquering my insanity. i am first accepting the truth that there is nothing wrong with me. i am perfectly fine. trust

Some symbolism: The frog goes from a swimming sperm cell to a frog in a few months, representing rapid transformation Also, the toad goes into hibernation (representing going inwards) (And when Bashar was asked about Arizona as to what that place represents he said spiritual growth)

@Leo Gura I can see how it can take some time to get used to it and to explore it. It's a radically different way of looking at and living in reality. It's like being reborn as the watcher. Maybe it's a re-incarnation. Who's to say that enlightenment is not a death and re-birth. It's definitely a transformation. How that transformation is conceptualized versus how it happened in reality are two different things. I get the feeling that most of you believe what happened is that beliefs were changed. Thoughts were simply held differently. The ego was forced to eat itself. It could no longer stand on a rational foundation, it's own standard, so it gave up the ghost! When you live by the sword you may die by the sword too.

Osho was not against yoga, he only warned about stupidities people are doing on the path of yoga. Osho has explained sutras of Patanjali in his discourses "Yoga, the alpha and the omega". https://www.google.co.in/search?q=yoga+alpha+and+omega+osho&rlz=1C1DFOC_enIN675IN675&oq=yoga+alpha&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.10829j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 Osho lived in India, he was well aware of the fact that people are doing yoga to make their body strong and healthy, instead for spiritual transformation. He never said breathing exercises in yoga will necessarily damage your brain and makes you stupid, guidance and preparation is necessary for doing breathing exercises in yoga. Hatha Yoga Pradipika, says "As lions, elephants and tigers are tamed slowly & systematically. So must be the case with prana, otherwise the practitioner is destroyed. http://www.yogaxtc.com/pranayama.html If you tell me the exact words of Osho about breathing exercises, I can explain it in right context.

@Prabhaker you know what. I thank you so much. I think I'm going through a spiritual transformation. Not sure. just feel energy up the front of me and down my spine. Guilt is coming up and I am finding every excuse to feel guilty. And trying to figure out if it's rational or not. This came up recently and has had me stuck. Seriously, I was under a different name before and you guided me. So thank you again for such a quick and eloquent response.

@Joseph Maynor Your thoughts have no roots, they have no home; they wander just like clouds. So you need not fight them, you need not be against them, you need not even try to stop thoughts. This should become a deep understanding in you, because whenever a person becomes interested in meditation he starts trying to stop thinking. And if you try to stop thoughts they will never be stopped, because the very effort to stop is a thought, the very effort to meditate is a thought, the very effort to attain buddhahood is a thought. And how can you stop a thought by another thought? How can you stop mind by creating another mind? Then you will be clinging to the other. And this will go on and on, ad nauseam; then there is no end to it. Don´t fight – because who will fight? Who are you? Just a thought, so don´t make yourself a battleground of one thought fighting another. Rather, be a witness, you just watch thoughts floating. They stop, but not by your stopping. They stop by your becoming more aware, not by any effort on your part to stop them. Osho, Tantra: the Supreme Understanding, Talk #2 THINKING cannot be stopped. Not that it does not stop, but it cannot be stopped. It stops of its own accord. This distinction has to be understood, otherwise you can go mad chasing your mind. No-mind does not arise by stopping thinking. When the thinking is no more, no-mind is. The very effort to stop will create more anxiety, it will create conflict, it will make you split. You will be in a constant turmoil within. This is not going to help. And even if you succeed in stopping it forcibly for a few moments, it is not an achievement at all -- because those few moments will be almost dead, they will not be alive. You may feel a sort of stillness, but not silence, because a forced stillness is not silence. Underneath it, deep in the unconscious, the repressed mind goes on working. So, there is no way to stop the mind. But the mind stops -- that is certain. It stops of its own accord. So what to do? -- your question is relevant. Watch -- don't try to stop. There is no need to do any action against the mind. In the first place, who will do it? It will be mind fighting mind itself. You will divide your mind into two; one that is trying to boss over -- the top-dog -- trying to kill the other part of itself, which is absurd. It is a foolish game. It can drive you crazy. Don't try to stop the mind or the thinking -- just watch it, allow it. Allow it total freedom. Let it run as fast as it wants. You don't try in any way to control it. You just be a witness. It is beautiful! Mind is one of the most beautiful mechanisms. Science has not yet been able to create anything parallel to mind. Mind still remains the masterpiece -- so complicated, so tremendously powerful, with so many potentialities. Watch it! Enjoy it! And don't watch like an enemy, because if you look at the mind like an enemy, you cannot watch. You are already prejudiced; you are already against. You have already decided that something is wrong with the mind -- you have already concluded. And whenever you look at somebody as an enemy you never look deep, you never look into the eyes. You avoid! Watching the mind means: look at it with deep love, with deep respect, reverence -- it is God's gift to you! Nothing is wrong in mind itself. Nothing is wrong in thinking itself. It is a beautiful process as other processes are. Clouds moving in the sky are beautiful -- why not thoughts moving into the inner sky? Flowers coming to the trees are beautiful -- why not thoughts flowering into your being. The river running to the ocean is beautiful -- why not this stream of thoughts running somewhere to an unknown destiny? is it not beautiful? Look with deep reverence. Don't be a fighter -- be a lover. Watch! -- the subtle nuances of the mind; the sudden turns, the beautiful turns; the sudden jumps and leaps; the games that mind goes on playing; the dreams that it weaves -- the imagination, the memory; the thousand and one projections that it creates. Watch! Standing there, aloof, distant, not involved, by and by you will start feeling... The deeper your watchfulness becomes, the deeper your awareness becomes, and gaps start arising, intervals. One thought goes and another has not come, and there is a gap. One cloud has passed, another is coming and there is a gap. In those gaps, for the first time you will have glimpses of no-mind, you will have the taste of no-mind. Call it taste of Zen, or Tao, or Yoga. In those small intervals, suddenly the sky is clear and the sun is shining. Suddenly the world is full of mystery because all barriers are dropped. The screen on your eyes is no more there. You see clearly, you see penetratingly. The whole existence becomes transparent. In the beginning, these will be just rare moments, few and far in between. But they will give you glimpses of what samadhi is. Small pools of silence -- they will come and they will disappear. But now you know that you are on the right track -- you start watching again. When a thought passes, you watch it; when an interval passes, you watch it. Clouds are also beautiful; sunshine also is beautiful. Now you are not a chooser. Now you don't have a fixed mind: you don't say, "I would like only the intervals." That is stupid -- because once you become attached to wanting only the intervals, you have decided again against thinking. And then those intervals will disappear. They happen only when you are very distant, aloof. They happen, they cannot be brought. They happen, you cannot force them to happen. They are spontaneous happenings. Go on watching. Let thoughts come and go -- wherever they want to go. Nothing is wrong! Don't try to manipulate and don't try to direct. Let thoughts move in total freedom. And then bigger intervals will be coming. You will be blessed with small satoris.Sometimes minutes will pass and no thought will be there; there will be no traffic -- a total silence, undisturbed. When the bigger gaps come, you will not only have clarity to see into the world -- with the bigger gaps you will have a new clarity arising -- you will be able to see into the inner world. With the first gaps you will see into the world: trees will be more green than they look right now. You will be surrounded by an infinite music -- the music of the spheres. You will be suddenly in the presence of God -- ineffable, mysterious. Touching you although you can not grasp it. Within your reach and yet beyond. With the bigger gaps, the same will happen inside. God will not only be outside, you will be suddenly surprised -- He is inside also. He is not only in the seen; He is in the seer also -- within and without. By and by... But don't get attached to that either. Attachment is the food for the mind to continue. Non-attached witnessing is the way to stop it without any effort to stop it. And when you start enjoying those blissful moments, your capacity to retain them for longer periods arises. Finally, eventually, one day, you become master. Then when you want to think, you think; if thought is needed, you use it; if thought is not needed, you allow it to rest. Not that mind is simply no more there: mind is there, but you can use it or not use it. Now it is your decision. Just like legs: if you want to run you use them; if you don't want to run you simply rest -- legs are there. In the same way, mind is always there. When I am talking to you I am using the mind -- there is no other way to talk. When I am answering your question I am using the mind -- there is no other way. I have to respond and relate, and mind is a beautiful mechanism. When I am not talking to you and I am alone, there is no mind -- because it is a medium to relate through. Sitting alone it is not needed. You have not given it a rest; hence, the mind becomes mediocre. Continuously used, tired, it goes on and on and on. Day it works; night it works. In the day you think; in the night you dream. Day in, day out, it goes on working. If you live for seventy or eighty years it will be continuously working. Look at the delicacy and the endurability of the mind -- so delicate! In a small head all the libraries of the world can be contained; all that has ever been written can be contained in one single mind. Tremendous is the capacity of the mind -- and in such a small space! and not making much noise. If scientists some day become capable of creating a parallel computer to mind... computers are there, but they are not yet minds. They are still mechanisms, they have no organic unity; they don't have any center yet. If some day it becomes possible... and it is possible that scientists may some day be able to create minds -- then you will know how much space that computer will take, and how much noise it will make. Mind is making almost no noise; goes on working silently. And such a servant! -- for seventy, eighty years. And then, too, when you are dying your body may be old but your mind remains young. Its capacity remains yet the same. Sometimes, if you have used it rightly, it even increases with your age! -- because the more you know, the more you understand, the more you have experienced and lived, the more capable your mind becomes. When you die, everything in your body is ready to die -- except the mind. That's why in the East we say mind leaves the body and enters another womb, because it is not yet ready to die. The rebirth is of the mind. Once you have attained the state of samadhi, no-mind, then there will be no rebirth. Then you will simply die. And with your dying, everything will be dissolved -- your body, your mind... only your witnessing soul will remain. That is beyond time and space. Then you become one with existence; then you are no more separate from it. The separation comes from the mind. But there is no way to stop it forcibly -- don't be violent. Move lovingly, with a deep reverence -- and it will start happening of its own accord. You just watch. And don't be in a hurry. The modern mind is in much hurry. It wants instant methods for stopping the mind. Hence, drugs have appeal. Mm? -- you can force the mind to stop by using chemicals, drugs, but again you are being violent with the mechanism. It is not good. It is destructive. In this way you are not going to become a master. You may be able to stop the mind through the drugs, but then drugs will become your master -- you are not going to become the master. You have simply changed your bosses, and you have changed for the worse. Now the drugs will hold power over you, they will possess you; without them you will be nowhere. Meditation is not an effort against the mind. It is a way of understanding the mind. It is a very loving way of witnessing the mind -- but, of course, one has to be very patient. This mind that you are carrying in your head has arisen over centuries, millennia. Your small mind carries the whole experience of humanity -- and not only of humanity: of animals, of birds, of plants, of rocks. You have passed through all those experiences. All that has happened up to now has happened in you also. In a very small nutshell, you carry the whole experience of existence. That's what your mind is. In fact, to say it is yours is not right: it is collective; it belongs to us all. Modern psychology has been approaching it, particularly Jungian analysis has been approaching it, and they have started feeling something like a collective unconscious. Your mind is not yours -- it belongs to us all. Our bodies are very separate; our minds are not so separate. Our bodies are clear-cutly separate; our minds overlap -- and our souls are one. Bodies separate, minds overlapping, and souls are one. I don't have a different soul and you don't have a different soul. At the very center of existence we meet and are one. That's what God is: the meeting-point of all. Between the God and the world -- 'the world' means the bodies -- is mind. Mind is a bridge: a bridge between the body and the soul, between the world and God. Don't try to destroy it! Many have tried to destroy it through Yoga. That is a misuse of Yoga. Many have tried to destroy it through body posture, breathing -- that too brings subtle chemical changes inside. For example: if you stand on your head in shirshasan -- in the headstand -- you can destroy the mind very easily. Because when the blood rushes too much, like a flood, into the head -- when you stand on your head that's what you are trying to do.... The mind mechanism is very delicate; you are flooding it with blood. The delicate tissues will die. That's why you never come across a very intelligent yogi -- no. Yogis are, more or less, stupid. Their bodies are healthy -- that's true -- strong, but their minds are just dead. You will not see the glimmer of intelligence. You will see a very robust body, animallike, but somehow the human has disappeared. Standing on your head, you are forcing your blood into the head through gravitation. The head needs blood, but in a very, very small quantity; and very slowly, not floodlike. Against gravitation, very little blood reaches to the head. And that, too, in a very silent way. If too much blood is reaching into the head it is destructive. Yoga has been used to kill the mind; breathing can be used to kill the mind. There are rhythms of breath, subtle vibrations of breath, which can be very, very drastic to the delicate mind. The mind can be destroyed through them. These are old tricks. Now the latest tricks are supplied by science: LSD, marijuana, and others. More and more sophisticated drugs will be available sooner or later. I am not in favour of stopping the mind. I am in favour of watching it. It stops of its own accord -- and then it is beautiful When something happens without any violence it has a beauty of its own, it has a natural growth. You can force a flower and open it by force; you can pull the petals of a bud and open it by force -- but you have destroyed the beauty of the flower. Now it is almost dead. It cannot stand your violence. The petals will be hanging loose, limp, dying. When the bud opens by its own energy, when it opens of its own accord, then those petals are alive. The mind is your flowering -- don't force it in any way. I am against all force and against all violence, and particularly violence that is directed towards yourself. Just watch -- in deep prayer, love, reverence. And see what happens! Miracles happen of their own accord. There is no need to pull and push. You ask: How to stop thinking? I say: Just watch, be alert. And drop this idea of stopping, otherwise it will stop the natural transformation of the mind. Drop this idea of stopping! Who are you to stop? At the most, enjoy. And nothing is wrong -- even if immoral thoughts, so-called immoral thoughts, pass through your mind, let them pass; nothing is wrong. You remain detached. No harm is being done. It is just fiction; you are seeing an inner movie. Allow it its own way and it will lead you, by and by, to the state of no-mind. Watching ultimately culminates in no-mind. No-mind is not against mind: no-mind is beyond mind. No-mind does not come by killing and destroying the mind: no-mind comes when you have understood the mind so totally that thinking is no longer needed -- your understanding has replaced it. ~ OSHO~A Sudden Clash of Thunder

Think of happiness as being + values in action. Do not expect yourself to literally embody values perfectly, as values themselves are concepts. But do make the attempt. It's the trying that counts. Don't know your values? Figure them out. Once you nail down your personal values, you can eliminate all the distractions that keep you from living out those values. Embodying your values is hard enough. Embodying values without knowing them yet is a recipe for disaster. - When you practice your values in actions enough, you'll get to a point where you don't even think about it that much. - Add unconditional happiness to your list of values . That said, don't get upset with yourself for getting upset and not 100% living up to the value of unconditional happiness. Keep asking yourself "am I setting up conditions for my happiness? Oh yes! I am!" and then finding a proper solution to that condition or letting go of the condition completely. Over time, you will come closer to truly unconditional happiness as you get better at facing and removing your happiness-conditions. - We all have a list of human needs. These needs may cloud our awareness such that we become desperate to fulfill them, in order. - in desperation, we may go against our values or make rash actions that make the world worse for everyone and everything in it. So the game is to figure out how, when, and why your needs are clouding your awareness. - The wholehearted do value play and joy. This is part of their secret. - The problem is that people go overboard with it and knock themselves out of balance. Life is not all about fun. - The opposite of play is not work. It's depression. So if you find that you're not doing anything fun while on your quest, then know that you're fucking yourself over. - The Specific answer to that question depends on the person, but basically the overall structure will be: having complete experiences of life, especially by opening up to new ones growing in the ability to handle more complex problems (on your own and with other people) practicing authenticity - being able to speak your mind and heart as necessary connecting the Truth that you literally are God in God hanging out with other versions of God helping others do everything listed above in a direct, appreciable way Do that and you're bound to have a great life. Enlightenment? Enlightenment does not equal personal transformation. You can access the Truth but still go back to do thing the same 'ol things. Then again, the Truth can be used for a) mental clarity so that you can get shit done b) a reminder that you don't actually have to do anything, so you don't have to become neurotic about getting shit done and c) simple amazement at the fact that you are aware of everything at all - if you understand what to look for, then the world becomes this goddamn amazing wonder of stuff to discover. (HINT: you are awareness in the never ending process of not knowing and figuring itself out. Or better yet, you are how the universe feels itself and contemplates about itself.) Example: Peter Ralston wrote a whole book about the fact that enlightenment does not equal personal transformation and yet his enlightenments (note: plural! there's a lot to become enlightened about!) allowed him to not give a f*ck about pain while winning world martial Arts Championships. Being As a synonym for being use "complete experience" or "stopping to smell the roses" or "really feeling what it is like to be you in the moment of being you as you do the things you do, whatever they may be" Overall, enlightenment and being are themselves part of fulfillment, as I hinted at earlier with the list of things that generally comprise a fulfilling life.

I am just playing, it's not like I am looking to gain something from that discussion. How am I wasting my time? I don't care about opinions, opinions are irrelevant to me. I want to see where this thought takes me while I am in this eternal presence of no-mind. I am like riding a wave. I am the DJ of my own creation, shifting trought realities. My point was that you do your own research if your interested in this subject, this is very deep. The first post was just a starting point for you guys to go do your own research if you want to experiment with the way I became enlightened fast. If you fully researched the stuff I have mentioned in the first post and tried everything, you would see it first hand. If you are fast jumping to conclusions than your stuck in mind. Just prove it to yourself. Your doing it all the time. You have a lifetime to try new things. I have done it and words cannot even desribe the true transformation that took place. And I am pretty sure nobody has researched this stuff deep enought because every body that commented is so fast jumping to conclusions without putting in hours to do the work. I have posted this topic today, and It's not possible to study everything I'm talking about in this topic so fast. If you would study all of it, by putting it a whole week at least of solid research and than experimentation the following weeks and months you would came to different conclusions. You would find how this ways are indeed fast ways of accelerationg the awareness evolution of an individual.

I can appreciate this. You seem like you've made some huge progress. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater regarding thought though. Now that you see thought for what it is, you don't have to be scared that it will mislead you anymore. You can play with thought like an architect plays with building materials. And then you can revel in your cathedrals without believing that they are living beings. I see a lot of fear of thought on this forum. The truly enlightened person should be able to do philosophy mindful of its purpose and limitations. This is where Stage Blue (or Green) becomes Stage Turquoise. Turquoise is not dogmatic nor scared of thought. Blue is scared of thought and tries to banish it from discourse. Green has a tendency to be dogmatic too, stuck on relativism, which is a paradigm in itself. They will deny this, but they tend to practice it and gravitate towards it. Thought is not evil, it just needs to be caveated properly. Just like lions are not evil, they just need to be caveated properly. So, watch out for your own paradigms. I notice that a lot of Advaita/ Zen folks have a bad paradigm regarding thought. Awareness and contemplation over this issue would serve some of you more "religious" folks. Religious thinking has no place in Turquoise consciousness. Be mindful of your own substandard paradigms too. You can always improve something. Just when you think you got it all figured out, think again. Reality speaks in shades of grey. Being against thought is just as bad as being an armchair-philosopher. And any of these "views" always sits at cross-purposes to reality anyway. Reality includes thought. Let's acknowledge that fully and not bury our heads in the sand like blind religious folks over this issue. Thought is not bad. It's our interpretation of thought that is bad. There's a key difference there! Being a thinker, even a theorist, or a philosopher, is necessary if you really want to have the highest awareness possible. But there are a lot of over-thinkers that never become enlightened, so I get that, and that justifies your fear against thought. However, I think a lot of people miss the issue I am trying to communicate here, and I'm going out of my way to spell it out carefully here, and here it is: Don't get paradigm-locked against thinking, theorizing, or philosophizing. Learn how to use these items in your own life when they are appropriate. That's the wiser paradigm. I humbly speak from my own perspective and from what resonates with me only. I'm not putting this out there like it's an objective truth for everybody. But I felt like this perspective needs to be communicated to expose a very nasty trap. It's a common trap, but a lot of folks appear to be blind to it. Blindness to the trap itself is the worst kind of trap. It's like walking blind without a cane; and additionally, not even being aware of one's own blindness! // I like this part of your post. I took the liberty of re-organizing it below. Print it out folks. I didn't tweak your language (but you should always double space after periods, it will improve your writing dramatically): How to become enlightened FAST Your(ego), your sense of self will not survive this process. You are reality. Don't seek too much information, seek massive transformation. To destroy the ego you have to be in the being state, and if you want results with enlightenment fast, you have to have a serious intent to raise your consciousness. You have to be this awareness continuously to get rid of all thoughts. This means that it's harder to become enlightened by being aware just when you’re doing your traditional meditation practice for up to 60 minutes or 3 hours or even 5 hours. Reality is so fucking simple you will NEVER understand it with thought. Understanding awareness with the mind is like lighting up the sun with a cigarette lighter. After I got enlightened I became aware how the body just moves automatically without me thinking anything (hearing mental sounds). I was like shit, I have a lot of work to do to undo all of that programming. So I was starting to do more and more personal development and consciousness work simultaneously. Enlightenment changed nothing. Enlightenment just made me more aware of the functioning of existence, how everything is happening without effort inside me. At that point your mind and ego die, because you surrender to effortlessness and ego and mind is all about effort. So after you become enlightened everything you could accomplish is effortless. You really don't need any thought anymore to function and succeed in life. So... that means you don't have to go to meditate in a cave for 30 years. You can do your life purpose and enlightenment simultaneously. Yes it's hard but if you apply everything I am talking about here you will be enlightened extremely fast. You have to become increasingly aware moment to moment and maintain that intention for a few months. To not pay attention to the content of awareness but to awareness. And after that you will arrive in utopia, you will want to go back but you'll recognize that you can't. You have embodied that which is permanent. The mind surrendered to consciousness. Ask yourself how conductive you are. If you want to be enlightened fast, you need to drop all resistance and drop arising resistances for extended periods of time with awareness, by observation, without being judgmental, attached, not building any meaning when thoughts arise, not labeling anything as good or bad for your own gain (because when you do you start constructing meaning and that is illusion), not gossiping not comparing yourself with others, not creating a sense of linearity, being aware that your're not what you sense as yourself, existence cannot be perceived with senses it's only through consciousness. Have a serious intent at the start, like your life depends on it. As you become more and more conscious this seriousness will vanish and all that will be left is playfulness. You will start playing with all of the content of awareness and not seriously indulge in it by assigning it meaning, thinking of it good or bad. You will be detached, and after a while that detachment will become automatic, a part of you. This intent must be present for long periods of time, uninterruptedly.