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Practice Teaching platform and back porch hangout for current Journalers. In the latest video Leo said a good way to become a better student is to try teaching. in the video he also mentioned the word 'should' several times stressing how it hems us in. In the past I've heard that the word should is a strong indication of the active intrusion of the superego. Earlier in life I wish I had had a better understanding of super ego. So I thought a worthwhile subject to teach would be about the Superego. We don't grow up and become fully responsible for our own actions until we stand up to the super ego that became fixed into our conditioning. Ive heard it defined as the inner coercive agency representing a child's early caregivers. This energy needs to be reclaimed for fueling Actualization or spiritual transformation. The first definition I encountered online this evening-- su·per·e·go /ˌso͞opərˈēɡō/ noun PSYCHOANALYSIS the part of a person's mind that acts as a self-critical conscience, reflecting social standards learned from parents and teachers. "the father is the model for the superego"

I don't think that emotions are something we do or something that is done to us by others. They are more like a by-product of a situation. People mix with each other and with circumstances and it results in various kinds of energies. These energies are then transformed and expressed through us as arousal or fear for example. When we let those feelings to get to the mind, we become reactive. I think that personality is what decides how energies are expressed. Frankly, the more I let myself be a vessel for transformation of energy, the more easily I get aroused if the opportunity presents itself .

@Joseph Maynor I am not sure anymore if I understand the stages correctly. There are state-stages which are stages of themselves and the growth stages of development which for me include the multiple intelligence(especially including the cognitive perspective-taking aspect) theory, including things like values which is mapped in spiral dynamics. So, I want to differentiate these two aspects. Or one could look at them as two separate structures of development. State stages are independent of structure stages, yet can be reached as a permanent, yet are interpreted through the lens of one's growth stage development. So, a blue experience of a non-dual experience would be most likely interpreted as mythic literal. God did do this to me. There is only one god he told me xyz. God gave me this book and told me to create this religion, all other religions are false, if they don't believe in one god. etc. I bet there are better examples. I can write down how it is mapped out, but the only reference point I have is the ones I chiseled for myself and the ones I am copying from the book now. Preface/Preliminary remark Vision-Logic (which includes teal and turquoise)" Not very important for those not familiar. Moral span is considered as what is deemed worthy of moral consideration. Above teal (turquoise) World view: cross-paradigmatic, developmentalism as a world process (integralism) Moral span: all humans without exception. Seeing not only hierarchies but healthy hierarchies and in total holarchies. Detects harmonics, mystical forces, pervasive flow states that permeate any organization. Unites feeling with knowledge. Universal order in a living conscious fashion instead of a blue or green external rule and group orientation. Holding up the mirror to society. Values: global order and renewal. Experiences the wholeness of experience through mind an spirit. Self-identity + What is important: Highly aware of the complexity of meaning-making, systemic interactions, and dynamic processes. Seeks personal and spiritual transformation and supports others in their life quests; creates events that become mythical and reframe the meaning of situations. may understand “ego” as a “central processing unit” that actively creates a sense of identity; increasingly sensitive to the continuous “re-storying” of who one is; may recognize ego as most serious threat to future growth; continually attend to interaction among thought, action, feeling, and perception as well as influences from and effects on individuals, institutions, history and culture; treat time and events as symbolic, analogical, metaphorical (not merely linear, digital, literal); may feel rarely understood in their complexity by others. Reframes turns inside out, upside-down, clowning, holding up a mirror to society. often works behind the scenes. Affect levels: world-centric altruism teal-centered (yellow) Integrates multiple contexts, paradigmatic. Moral span all humans without exception. (counts also for green in total, green, yellow, turquoise). Self-identity + what is important: Life is a kaleidoscope of natural hierarchies (holarchies which include heterarchies). Flexibility, spontaneity, and functionality have the highest priority. Differences and pluralities can be integrated into interdependent flows (integration and disintegration instead of association and dissociation IMO! see politics especially germans diversity of parties in context with the true "meaning" of pluralism and dissemination of power) Egalitarianism is complemented with natural degrees of excellence where appropriate. Knowledge and competence should supersede, rank, power, status or the group! (yes please). World order is a result of the existence of different levels of reality (memes) and the inevitable patterns of moving up and down the dynamic spiral. Good governance facilitates the emergence of entities through the levels of increasing complexity (nested hierarchy). Comprehends multiple interconnected systems of relationships and processes; able to deal with conflicting needs and duties in constantly shifting contexts; recognizes the need for autonomy while parts of a system are interdependent; recognizes higher principles, social construction of reality, complexity and interrelationships; problem finding not just creative problem solving; aware of paradox and contradiction in system and self; sensitive to unique market niches, historical moment, larger social movements; creates “positive-sum” games; aware of own power (and perhaps tempted by it); seeks feedback from others and environment as vital for growth and making sense of world. Affect levels: "compassion"(green), all-human love(green-yellow), world-centric altruism(yellow-tourquise) IMO or I am retarded reading the map. THIRD TIER! Psychic: (which is coral in my humble opinion and has been called indigo in the past) Characteristic: union with world process, nature mysticism, gross nature unity. Main focus: Being, non-controlling consciousness; witnessing flux of experience and states of mind. Emergence of a perspective that is ego-transcendent or universal; people holding this stage of consciousness seem to “…experience themselves and others as part of ongoing humanity, embedded in the creative ground, fulfilling the destiny of evolution” (Cook-Greuter, 2002); consciousness ceases to appear as a constraint but rather as one more phenomenon that can be foreground or background; an integration of feelings of belongingness and separateness occurs; multiple points of view can be taken effortlessly; the pattern of constant flux and change becomes the context for feeling at home; one is able to respect the essence in others, no matter how different they may be; one is in tune with their life’s work as “a simultaneous expression of their unique selves” and as part of their shared humanity. Affect levels: awe, rapture, all-species love, compassion Moral span: all earthly beings without exception Subtle: Characteristics: union with creatrix of the gross realm; deity mysticism, subtle realm unity. Moral span -> all sentient beings without exception in all realms without exception ( saintly) Affect levels: Ananda, ecstasy, love-bliss, saintly commitment. Casual: Characteristics: Union with source of manifest realms; formless mysticism Moral span -> all sentient beings without exception in all realms without exception ( saintly) including all manifest and unmanifest reality. (Self-liberation in primordial awareness). The habit of observing the self cease to observe imo. Affect levels: infinite freedom-release, boddhisattvic-compassion. Non-Dual: Characteristic: union of form and formless, Spirit and World Process, non-dual mysticism. Moral span -> all manifest and unmanifest reality. (Self-liberation in primordial awareness) Affect levels: one taste, compassion. I can or did not find more on the topic so far besides reading the traditions who actually practiced it to these levels. But, this even more complex IMO, since it then has to be abstracted towards the development of the most important lines. Cognitive, interpersonal, moral, self-identify, etc. Whatever is the most important. Hopefully, this is useful. Would love to read a summary from others. In case they found different information. Here is the link from the pdf, the rest is from the book integral psychology. https://integralwithoutborders.net/sites/default/files/resources/Overview of Developmental Levels.pdf

@Serotoninluv in integral transformation (audiobook) ken wilber mentions exercise opens up the emotional line. Incase this is not known.. For whatever biochemical reasons.

You wake up early to do the 2 hour SDS sit. And you continue the practice in daily life regardless of whether you have a job or not. You can do 5+ hours of practice in daily life if you are motivated enough. Time-wise, there are no problems. Even a 9-5 job can allow for this schedule. I personally have flexible hours because I have a business. But the issue is whether the skill and motivation is there to pull of such intensities of practice on a daily basis. Once you have the skills developed, managing time is easy. Meditation no longer occurs in life but life occurs in meditation in advanced stages. Also I suggest doing these SDS sits while watching videos and listening to audios at first. (The first 30-60 days) Otherwise, you might not have the motivation to go through so much pain everyday. First, go from 60 to 90 mins. Then go from 90 to 120 mins. If you can do more than 2 hours SDS in cross-legged posture, then all the power to you. Don't do longer SDS sits on a chair because the point is to observe pain with clarity and equanimity. Compared to cross-legged postures, doing a 2+hours of SDS sit on a chair is easier. I think someone can pull that off once or twice with A LOT OF suffering at the end of their first year. But reaching 2 hour SDS in cross-legged with little to no suffering CONSISTENTLY will require a lot of intense daily work for 2-5 years. (in my experience) And it will literally force you to have insight experiences at some point in the practice. Somewhere in that process, the insight into suffering/impermanence will be VERY pronounced. The transformation will occur fairly quickly afterwards if you keep up the practice.

I also think that stream entry is not to be taken lightly. It is definitely possible if you train systematically but this first awakening attainment means that suffering goes away radically AND permanently. So when you wake up in the morning at 6 a.m. and you have to go to work or school, if you think 'Oh I don't want to get up, it is so cold outside' and if you suffer as a result of that, then you are not a stream enterer. When you speak with your family and friends, if you default to relating with people with the self agenda in mind rather than seeing them as yourself, you are not a stream enterer. If sleepiness, pain and frustration breaks up your connection to your sense of no-boundry, then you are not a stream enterer. Awakening has high standards. But this radical change is possible with retreat level practice if you are consistent with it. Again, I'm not a stream enterer. But my experiences are heavily leaning towards this level of attainment. As a practice program, I've trained with Culadasa's breath work and Shinzen Young's noting and gone techniques in daily life. Also added self-enquiry once I've hit Stage 7 in Culadasa's model of samadhi stages. Do these systematically AND intensely. I don't personally see how anyone can get to stream entry with a beginner level practice like 60 mins formal sit with micro hits in daily life. (unless you have a spontaneous awakening out of nowhere without systematic training like Eckhart Tolle which has a very low probability in my opinion). At some point, I highly suggest going up to 90-120 mins SDS sits consistently. That is where my transformation had occurred. Also very deep relaxation and noting practice in daily life helped me continue the momentum of formal sessions. Hope these suggestions help

@Cosmo Don't try to force yourself to settle down. You are still seeking and it is okay. Even if you do settle down, don't expect your marriage to be happy. Expectations are a mistake. Think more in lines of a pressure cooker. Two ingredients meet and interact, bringing about transformation. Sometimes, you get a stew, and sometimes it explodes and you have to scrape it off walls. Unless you're willing to do both - you will always look for somebody else, a perfect ingredient. The only perfection there is, is the unknown outcome - always surprising you when you think you've got it. Being bored with a partner is absolutely normal. If you feel that way, just behave as if you're alone and see how she reacts. I bet it'll be exciting .

I watched Abraham Hicks' video today in which she explained what she meant by the vortex. I think that dreams when they are followed ignorantly are actually a kind of favor. I can see how they can be a force of transformation: We dream and desire We get what we wanted and much more We suffer and adapt to circumstances It's like the masculine is curiosity/survival and the feminine is memory/environment. It's difficult for humans to be the lower self because they have to learn to alternate between the two when following the Tao.

Yes, when I was in college I had to work really hard on health to lose 65 pounds. I was really fat my whole life. I still went to college, so it wasn't 100% of my time, but it took a lot of attention and willpower to acheive that transformation and make it stick. Starting my first business and quitting my job. It's basically impossible to become wealthy without learning business, sales, and marketing and being very serious about business. Business does not tolerate bullshit and wishful thinking. You must deliver hard results or you're dead. Most people cannot handle that. It's brutal. See my video: Small Business Advice.

From what I know, the "elephant in the room" that no one notices also relates to spirituality/non-duality. Those quotes are relative truths. The No-self (Nothingness) is without embodiment (no body), and no phenomenon (without an external environment), and when you become it, you're fully conscious of it. However, the "elephant in the room" is "empty space." It's "thin air." It has no embodiment, but it has a phenomenon. Enlightenment is the No-self, but it also involves transformation back into your ego. And yes, part of it, you become the "elephant in the room." Another name for it is the "observing self."

@now is forever I said it before in previous threads/posts. The best I could describe it is: You become nothingness / no-self. You don't have a body, no embodiment. There is no phenomenon, no external world or universe. And, all in all, you're aware of it, fully conscious of it. Then, you make a transformation into the entire universe, and you're aware if it. You are it--everything / everythingness. Then you transform back into your body (ego). You realize that the entire world is also you. When you make this transformation, it's called Riding the Ox Backwards. You're this massive black hole from an ego's perspective. See, if you want me to explain further, it'll be a booklet. I don't want to write a book here. In my explainations, I'll also have to include how I came to know about this--my detective work. I rather tell this in 3rd person.

I've really thought about this a lot when it comes to contemplating my Life Purpose and boy is this something that's going to be messy. Now that we're in a world that DEMANDS and integral approach to spirituality, psychology, philosophy, human transformation, science, politics, and planetary restoration and also now that 5-MeO-DMT and other psychedelics is becoming slowly but surely more talked about... I really can't help but contemplate how an integral spiritual infrastructure could really be built, particularly in Western, 1st world, secular countries. What excites me is that all the tools seem to be there. Granted, legality of psychedelics of course is still a big issue. However, as far as I'm concerned, I think even that obstacle could still be worked around. The practices are all out there, the psychedelics that help most for consciousness work are out there as far as what are the one's to use (again, acquisition of such substances is another matter right now). When I look at popular sages and spiritual leaders like Sadhguru (I'm going to use him & India as my example in this post because he's just such a good, yet rare, example) I see someone and something truly extraordinary. I see someone who clearly is a masterful 2nd tier systems thinker. He's able to influence and talk to an enlightened yogi whose been in a cave for 15 years (Blue/Purple), economic and political titans (Orange), rational left brained scientists (Orange/Yellow), rural masses (Blue), kids as far down as elementary school, urbanites in their 20s pursuing sex/materialism (Orange), and attract the liberal hippies from afar (Green). You can even see in his talks and discourses he talks to all of them differently. He's even able to lead his sannyasis and he's actually very integral and 2nd tier in his approach by creating a system within his ashram where he can bring in both men and women and have an environment that seems to unite them all and even lead conscious restoration projects. It's fucking incredible that one man can lead all that in yet still have 1 month out of the year to spend in the Himalayas each year (read that in his biography). At the same time though (not even getting into his good fortune of his full enlightenment at the age of 25 - past 3 lifetime of work... as far as I'm concerned I don't see why this can't be the case), look at how fucking rare a person like that is. Someone who can withstand that workload, has that strong interpersonal and 2nd tier leadership skills, is as masterful and downright talented he is in the domain of spirituality as he is (beyond his depth of psychic proficiency and so much more, which as far as my research goes, is fucking off the charts if it really is true), not having gotten power hungry, the degree to which he succeeded in terms of impact on the world, etc. Also consider that he's in a country that has over 5000 years of spiritual infrastructure/foundation! There's a spiritual science there for building fuckin' temples at how to utilize them as energy centers for human beings (Agamas Shastras). I personally agree with @Leo Gura (which I think he hammers home on better than even than Ken Wilber) on the point that spirituality and really, the world at large, must go integral and evolve and include and embrace technologies such as psychedelics and specifically 5-Meo-DMT, EEG technology, what's to come with AI, etc. and also embrace other personal development schools, schools of psychology, science, art, philosophical schools, etc. which A LOT of these teachers reject because their whole impact is based around creating a particular niche school which excludes other things! Can you imagine going into a Zen monastery in Japan and trying to convince a Zen master whose been in a certain school that 5-Meo-DMT can get you to realize Nothingness in 30 min or less and that it's a much faster and more efficient tool than grinding for decades (which is not to dismiss work ethic or portray 5-MeO-DMT as some quick fix) that, for most people who down that path, produces a semi deep awakening at best? He'd keisaku your ass out of there. Hell, I would imagine even Sadhguru would dismiss it as a perfectly legitimate path. Even Ralston, a deeply enlightened master here in the West that seems to have no real attachment any spiritual system or spiritual culture and grew up a lot here in the San Francisco where I live dismisses psychedelics! What happens when the human guru is replaced with a syringe and powder made in a chemistry lab? How likely is that guru to either accept that or end up abusing that? Not to mention, the more integral you get, the more you'll have to realize that each person is of course different in their unique set of problems, their strengths and talents, emotional blockages, personality types, interests, etc. which of course undermines a set and stone system/school/tradition because the whole point of tradition/school/system is that it's different from all the others, even just from a business standpoint. Not to mention, the larger the school and the more people you draw in, the more you'll have to dilute your teachings, practices, and the Greater Jihad to fit the masses. Granted, going back to Sadhguru, I think he's being smart by having his ashram where he leads sanyasins where he goes balls to the wall with them so that when he dies, he's planted seeds that will live on after him. Even with that though, look at how much corruption, dilution, shenanigans, and the collapse in the quality of the school after the main leader passes on. What happens when Sadhguru's vision just becomes some ideological moral objective for his followers in 100 years that blindly follow that rather than think for themselves? What happens when you're school falls behind in it's spiral stage and grows out of date and becomes obsolete and eventually becomes regressive relative to where the rest of the world is? This is not even mentioning the work that comes with transcending cultural paradigms. Lastly, how on earth does a spiritual infrastructure get built in a country like say in the USA where our culture is not one of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, but one of consumerism? We (I live in the USA so this is just an easier way for me to frame this) live in a country that as far as my (subpar) analysis and assessment goes seems to just be emulating the same pattern that lead to the fall of Ancient Greece. On the global macro scale, the USA is a baby country as far as it's age goes. If I were to equate this with a business example, we seem to be like just one giant MLM that's been parasitic on not just the earth but to other world cultures and countries. It's like a business who just aims for profits for the short and mid-term at all costs and get's wealthy in the beginning and stays there for awhile because its Orange, it's strategic enough to stay on top. In the end though the business falls apart because it wasn't based on those timeless principles longer lasting principles that undermine short-term growth. Not to mention, we don't even recognize our culture that much because consumerism is much harder to see relative to a lot of other world cultures. For better and worse, we have such a massive influence on the rest of the world. People in other countries (particularly in the 3rd world of course) still idolize America and wish to come over here for opportunity and a chance for them as an individual to thrive at Stage Orange and make something of themselves. We infect the world with our ideology and image of consumerism and Stage Orang mindset. Taking a step though, there are A LOT of pluses with that. So I'm not saying this to just bash Orange and the USA. Orange is multiplistic. It helped science and a lot of other fields and industries to really unfold which a lot of these countries really desperately need. It brought opportunity and set the stage for individuals to revolutionize and rebel against the excesses that came with Blue. At the same time though, we seem to be in a place without a strong nor up to date spiritual/metaphysical foundation/infrastructure which I think is really one of our primary achilles heels when it comes to the survival of this country and also the world since the United States is such an influential powerhouse. What happens to a family when the only breadwinner is dad and mom is a housewife and the kids follows dad no matter what because of the power disparity he has and dad is also a raging alcoholic that beats his wife and kids and gets away with it because he's the most powerful one in the house but eventually becomes so neurotic and dysfunctional because of his of his dysfunctional ego that he ends up in jail or dies in a drunk driving accident? Or if mom eventually decides to fight back and comes at him with a baseball bat? Is that really going to make the family any better? Or will that lead to the collapse of the family entirely? I don't know...

3-30-2019 28 The Preponderance of the Great line 5 32 Duration Line 5 councils me not to take on others Fate Some interesting commentary from hexagram 32 Duration: Unlike Cosmic Reality, the parallel reality created by the collective ego does not endure because it is based in the mistaken ideas and beliefs about the Cosmic Way. When a Person, through holding to such mistaken ideas and beliefs violates the Cosmic Harmony, the Cosmos responds with Fate. Fate is part of the law of physics, and has the purpose of restoring this Cosmic Harmony and of helping a person return to unity with the Cosmos. It does so by decreasing the ego in him, thus bringing him back to humility. The parallel reality is characterized by changes. These changes are brought about by the use of power on the part of humans and the Cosmic response to it in the form of Fate. Among the main mistaken ideas and beliefs that create the parallel reality are the presumptions that humans are at the center of the universe changes are the rule of life Nature operates through opposite forces to propel changes time is linear, having a beginning and an end the universe works on mechanical principles the Cosmos has a hierarchical order All of these ideas create discordant fields of consciousness which compete with the Cosmic Order and its Principles of Harmony. They separate humans from Cosmic Unity. When Fate is not recognized as help from the Cosmos to make a person aware of his mistaken ideas and beliefs, but is taken as Cosmic "punishment," the blame he puts on the Cosmos creates a new fate, thus perpetuating the misfortune. Note: The new I CHING; The Oracle of the Cosmic Way, shows how transformation, not change, is the true way of Nature, including human nature. This correlates with the Fourth Way philosophy that says in work on oneself, forced change doesn't endure in the way transformation does regarding ones being. Transformation of being instead of change of being.

I'm not questioning experienced depth, but how transforming and reverberating chemically induced trips are. What I can't rule off with psychedelics is that the euphoria, the experienced depth, the experienced infinite love are just chemically induced effects, not so different than alcohol making some people euphoric and all loving. The transformative effect that Leo is claiming may be caused by the lingering chemically induced euphoria. And it can last a long time, I did LSD quite a bit and I could still feel the emotional impact and instability it had for months after stoping taking it. I know he's going to say that his emotional state is not chemicaly induced but due to what he realized and witnessed in his trips but what I am saying is precisely that this emotional state is not due to that but to the chemical effect of 5meodmt just like alcohol can do that. Basically I'm going full circle because that's extactly how dogmatic people would dismiss psychedelic trips stating that's it's all "just a drug induced trip messing with brain chemistry". After LSD experiences I thought that the euphoria is caused by the truth of those experiences but after witnessing the lack of long lasting, pragmatic, transformation I went full circle hypothetizing that after all this euphoria is indeed chemically induced. Now at the end of the day whether we claim things or not we are still pursuing the same thing, it may be more clever for oneself to give in into the illusion that he's making progress along the path rather than favouring the witnessing of stagnation. Anyway the life is unfolding so better to see the upside rather than the downside but what we really want is truth. Sure it's nice having those trips, but are those trips contained in Leo's life or is Leo's life contained in the truth revealed by those trips ? During the trip it seems that Leo's life is contained in the infinite godhead but when coming out of the trip we wan't to survive to have more of those trips. So which perspective is right ? Keep oscillating between the two perspectives like the cosinus function and tell me if you get the truth of it.

That distinction is somewhat moot. A Zen student strives very hard before and even after awakening. According to your logic you would say that all Zen is artificial. And by that standard all spirituality and all growth is artificial. Which is not a good view. Seeking to embody and to be more fully conscious of God is not artificial, it is a natural part of this whole awakening and self-transformation process. How else could it be? When transformation happens in you, you feel it. I am not saying that I am 100% transformed. It's not different than after any meditation retreat. You would be back, you would be somewhat transformed, but you would also still mostly be the old you. And you will have to work to embody the stuff you learned and realized during your retreat. Radical transformation does not happen over night. Realigning the mind is like realigning teeth with braces. In practice, to become fully God-realized will require some force and some contrivance. It is not going to be an effortless, purely organic process.

@Leo Gura What I don't understand is how can you claim so quickly that those awakenings experiences transformed you ? Personaly when I was tripping I had few powerful experiences that I thought transformed me but after a few time I saw that I was always going back to baseline, so now I never claim that something transformed me, I would have to clearly see a change in my daily experience or behavior for an extended period of time -at least a year- for me to acknowledge a transformation and even then I would have to be honest on whether this change is really organic or artificially maintained through striving. This seems very basic to me, don't you see that ?

This is the Leo I have been waiting to see for a long time. Well done, you have done it Leo. I can feel by the smile on your face, the beaming energy you emit, the radiance of beauty, what a soul you have become. You look different. You sound different. You FEEL different. I just watched your YouTube video upload (white shirt) and am so impressed and INSPIRED. Leo, you have done it. All of that shadowy self has burned off. My goodness, seeing you has been the best part of my week. I can feel the energy just from here watching it. It is incredible. Solar plexus gut feels really alive and craves to listen to you. Leo, I am sorry for judgements I have made on you. I thought (secretly) for a long time there was a power trip cult thing going on......But through this video you have inspired me and made me believe in humanity again. I am ready. I am ready to take the meditation seriously. Yes, I have met Buddhists. I have met and am friends with a direct disciple of Osho. I am (was) part of a Jungian self development group for years and have met many people. But, I don't know why, your transformation has touched me the most. And I haven't even met you in person. I think it has affected me so much because I have seen the transformation over years take place. And your white shirt, yes Leo, it is a keeper in my opinion. You can wear black shirts, but they don't suit you. They never suited you. The white shirt, your Godliness, is unreal. What a fresh hit of oxygen to see you. I am looking forward, and am really 'ready' now to absorb the new Leo to help me on my path. Congratulations. You don't need me to tell you how much you have grown, you know it yourself. But it is incredible. Shocked, blown away, touched.

This is why focus is necessary. And separation is necessary. Bear with me here, because I know what I'm saying is blasphemous and taboo and oh so very PEDESTRIAN and low level. Ego death and actual physical death are the same thing. Thinking they aren't is creating yet another a duality. You exist as a limited form for a reason. That is the very thing that means you have the power to choose and make decisions and create things as an expression of life. That duality of life and death is exactly why you are alive. Getting rid of that duality means there is nothing. You have to choose, life or death. Light or dark. Pick one and love, appreciate and thank the other for it's existence because it is what allows you to be. Enlightenment is just a bounce back into going about your stupid life again, knowing that transcendence was ONLY an internal transformation and not an external one. Disappointing? Only to the ego. Still alive. Still an ego with likes and dislikes. Just a self realized one.

Welcome back. What has been your experience with Truth so far? For me, it's just "you." The "you" who is one with the no-self making a transformation into everythingness, and then back into the ego with love. That love is the indication that we are in the 'to love realm.' And, somehow, some way, we got to find a way to pass on this message through our actions. It's probably not as effective if you propose to speak. I'm busy throughout my day, but I'm always looking forward to working on my life purpose and making it action oriented. What you posted there reminds me of this saying from Buddha, "if you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?"

@Nahm If you had to name only 1 key quality that was vital in your transformation, what would it be?

@Shin This is the same hair transformation as Walt in Breaking Bad.

Rawjudah, Judas was the only son in his family that rose above a lineage of unfair power and spoiled chauvenisitc mind. Judas sleeps with Tamer, whom was actually a prostitute but lied to Judas. There is great significance in your user name. And the similarity of story of ancient Judah is the solution and narrative to your dilemma. Dear Rawjudah, after Judah had a child with Tamer, only afterwards did he reassess who he was and his Inner Essence. It is only then we see him do a heroic act of saving a brother of his in a sacrificial manner; the first good deed of his family to perform. So the transformation with you begins with the physical woman. You wish to Self actualise, but no you dont not really. It is an artifical longing you have; it is fashionable. Maybe you had strict parents that encouraged you to attain the best and now you are trying do that in self help. But deep down, you know this pursuit of yours for God is phony. You secretly desire power, material. Sex. You did not mention a girlfriend, you mentioned sex. And Judah was initiated into his Godliness BECAUSE of a sexual act. The sexual act led to a chain of events that brought him to his proper path. Once you are on your proper path, the journey to God might begin. For now, IT WILL NEVER BEGIN! You are disrespectful in your pursuit of God now, because you are not sincerely ready for it nor even want it. .....However, after the experience of sex and women, your journey definitly will begin. It is an inevitable destiny for you. Go for your desire. Attain sex in many ways. I will pray for you to have sex. Because in having sex, the sooner you will sober up and gain a new horniness, a horniness that a woman cannot relief you for; The horniness for God.

In my morning I CHING reading, I got hexagram 51 lines 1 and 5 which resulted in a second Hexagram 45. Sex energy In Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson, there are 3 categories of food for three brained beings. Ordinary food for the planetary body, air is the second being food, impressions (visual;sensory) are the third being food. Wrong use of sexual energy is articulated as expressing negative emotions as well as the habit of being fidgety. The necessity of Conscious suffering is buried under a mountain of words which many end up deciphering as Conscious intake of air and Conscious intake of impressions or in other words - being present. Transmutation of the sexual substance is also necessary but on the other hand, (no pun intended) complete abstinence is said to produce two distinct pathological side effects. Will Mesa using quotes from 'The Tales', elaborates on this- Transmutation of the sexual substance enables us to connect with other worlds, as well as allowing us to have direct connection with other people. This connectivity cannot and is not proper to the three lower three centers. We can see the world and other’s worlds directly, without the filters introduced by the functionality of the lower three centers. Hence the importance of transmutation of the sexual substance. For many centuries, monks of every age have engaged in the practice of sexual abstinence as way of transmutation of the sexual substance. However, as it is clearly stated in the book, abstinence does not work: “At the present time, very many of these ‘monasteries’ exist there, and these innumerable ‘monks’ who enter them do indeed strictly abstain from the ejection from themselves in the customary way of the being-Exioëhary or sperm formed in them; but of course, no sensible result at all is ever obtained from this abstinence of theirs, and it is not obtained, because the thought has ceased even to enter the heads of these unfortunate ‘contemporary’ monks that although it is indeed possible, by means of these substances Exioëry formed in them, to perfect themselves, yet this can proceed exclusively only if the second and third being-foods are intentionally absorbed and consciously digested in one’s presence, and this is possible exclusively only if all the parts of one’s presence have been accustomed beforehand consciously to fulfill both sacred being-Partkdolg-duties, that is to fulfill ‘conscious labors’ and ‘intentional sufferings.’” Two serious effects of this abstinence are also mentioned in the book: “The first kind of action of this definite substance consists in this, that it promotes the depositing of superfluous what is called ‘Karatsiag,’ or, as they call it there, ‘fat.’ And its second kind of action promotes the arising and the dispersing over the whole planetary body of what are called ‘Poisonioonoskirian-vibrations.’ “The consequence of all this is that in the first case these terrestrial abstaining monks become extraordinarily, as it is usually said there, fat, and sometimes one indeed meets among these fat monks specimens with such an abundant deposit of fat, that they could give many points to that form of being there which they expressly fatten in order to increase this same fat in their planetary bodies, and this form of being they call there ‘pig.’ “And in the second case, on the contrary, these abstaining monks become, as it is also usually said there, ‘meager-thin’; and the action of the ‘Poisonioonoskirian-vibrations’ which penetrate through them is chiefly evident in their general psyche which becomes sharply dual and the manifestations of which are divided into two diametrically opposite kinds – the outer, visible and for show, sensed by everyone around them, and the inner and hidden, which the ordinary beings there, especially the contemporary, are entirely incapable of ascertaining The or perceiving – namely, in their outer visible manifestations, these ‘Poisonioonoskirian-monks’ appear to be what your favorites would express as ‘bigots’ of a high degree; and in their hidden inner manifestations, not shown to others, what your favorites would call ‘expert cynics,’ also of a high degree.” I was able to verify these two facts during a four year stay at a Chan (Zen) meditation center. The fat monks all they cared about was to end the satsang so they could go to the basement to have a drink and a piece of cake. The thin monks were indeed expert cynics. Will Mesa also states- It is quite obvious from the quote above that transmutation of the sexual substance which is the result of the transformation of the first being-food, demands serious practice of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.” The only problem is that these two being-Partkdolg-duty are not specifically spelled out in the book, except only to say that the best form of “intentional suffering” is to bear the unpleasant manifestation of other beings during one’s shared existence with them.

Being a Human Being and Still Being the Absolute The development of consciousness has to do with living in this life from the perspective of the Absolute. The Personal Essence, the Pearl Beyond Price, has to do with being a human being and still being the Absolute. If you’re just the Absolute, you are not a human being. But you live in this world, you have a physical body and a mind, you have work and relationships. You need the Personal Essence in order to be able to live personally as a human being and still be the Absolute. So the development of the personal aspect has to do with integrating all of these things that are important for our life into the various levels of consciousness, and then into the Absolute. This is an actual process that has to do with the metabolism of the Absolute into the Personal Essence. Although it is rarely mentioned in spiritual literature, the integration of the person into the Absolute is vital because we live in the world and not in a monastery or cave. Integrating the person into the Absolute is more difficult than experiencing the Absolute. Integration requires that you deal with and metabolize your unconscious and your personal history. You have to really let all of the unconscious come out, to face all of your specific issues and areas of conflict and ignorance. Many traditions don’t care about integration but strive only to reach the Absolute. They don’t care about the personal life. The point for them is to know the Absolute and leave. In other traditions, and in our work, the point is to know the Absolute and live in the world as an expression of it. So how can you live a human life from the perspective of absence? That is the realm of development, change, and transformation within consciousness. Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 145 Development of Essence from Being Impersonal to Being Personal Unlike other aspects of Essence, this personal aspect (the pearl) goes through a process of development, growth, and expansion. Here the concepts of development and growth can be seen in their true and literal meaning. This true personality of the being is born, fed and nourished. It grows, expands, and develops in a very specific sense. It is really the development of Essence from being impersonal to being personal. Others might call it God becoming a human person, an individual. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 163 Experiencing the Pearl Beyond Price The pearl beyond price, the incomparable pearl, the personal aspect of Essence is central for many important reasons. It is actually the true essential personality. It is the person. It is experienced as oneself. When the individual finally perceives it, the contented expression often is "but this is me!" The sense is of oneself as a precious being. There is then a fullness, a completeness, and a contentment. It is as if the individual feels full and complete, realized. Nothing is lacking. No more search, no desire or wanting anything else. The person feels "now I have myself. I am a complete individual. I am full. I am fullness. I am complete. I want nothing else." Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 161 It is Possible to Experience Egoless Beingness Thus it is possible to experience egoless beingness, to be, as a substantial presence that is not a mental construct, and still live a human, personal life, in which love, work, knowledge, creativity and accomplishment make sense, a human sense. This true existence, this presence, this being beyond time that makes sense of human and personal life, is the Personal Essence. It is the reality of which ego is only a reflection. It is the truly integrated and developed human being. This is the beautiful presence that the traditional literature of work schools calls the “pearl beyond price.” The experience of universal impersonality of ultimate reality occurs when the separate individuality is transcended, when the separate individuality is seen not to be our true self. But this is the result of transcending the personality in its totality. Something different happens when we investigate the personality’s manifestations in more detail, exploring the hidden essential truth within it. The ego is a reflection of this true element of Being, the Personal Essence, and exploring the characteristics of the reflection can lead us to the reality being reflected. By isolating and understanding the elements of the false, we can begin to approach the elements of the real. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 32 Knowledge of the Incomparable Pearl is Rare The knowledge of the Incomparable Pearl and the process of its development is rare even in the most complete spiritual teachings, and the traditions that know it do not speak much about it. This is why the overwhelming impression one gets from most spiritual teachings is that the goal of spiritual work is the realization of impersonal Being or the realization of the Soul’s relationship to it (as in the Christian tradition.) The literature regarding the Pearl is sparse, and when it can be found, it is usually couched in metaphorical and symbolic language. Sometimes the language is more direct and descriptive, but it appears metaphorical to most people, because they lack the direct experience. The story, “The Hymn of the Soul,” in Chapter Eight, is an example. There are very few direct references to the Personal Essence in the literature, and these are found mainly in old books not in circulation. In this chapter we will describe some of those references; although they are rare, they tend to confirm and support our own understanding of the importance of the development of the Pearl. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 115 Relating Without Object Relations The Pearl beyond price can relate in a personal way without the need to activate past object relations. So its capacity is not only innate but also natural and spontaneous. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 172 Station of the Pearl The station of the pearl beyond price is so significant because it is not a matter of a state of consciousness or a state of being; it is rather the condition of the actualization of one's realization in one's life. Being becomes personal being, a complete human being living fully the life of objective truth. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 166 The Essential Structure that the Soul Develops as She Metabolizes and Transcends her Ego Structure The pearl can also be seen as the essential structure that the soul develops as she metabolizes and transcends her ego structure. Ego structure gives the ego-self the sense of being an autonomous and unique individual. But this structure is constructed through fixed mental impressions in the soul; hence it both dissociates her from her essential ground and limits her development because of its rigidity and fixation. The essential pearl provides the soul with a sense of individuality and personhood that does not depend on fixed impressions, but on spontaneously arising forms of essential presence that structure her experience of herself and give her the capacity to function as a person. The soul matures and transforms into a person of essence. However, the qualities and actions of this person are quite fluid and flexible and are objective responses resonant to the needs and inputs of the environment. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 223 The Pearl is an Ontological Presence The pearl is the real, complete, balanced, and rounded personality that psychologists believe they are talking about when they are discussing the ego. We must remember that the ego is a structure, or structured process, whereas the pearl is Essence, which means the pearl is an ontological Presence. We call it the Personal Essence because among all the essential aspects it alone is personal. It is experienced as having a personal flavor to it, in contradistinction to impersonal. All aspects of Essence, even love and kindness, are impersonal. But the pearl is personal. And this is its miraculous quality, totally unexpected and unfathomable. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 162 The Pearl is the Actualized Individuation of Your Soul When you are who you are, when you are just precisely yourself, you are your “point.” Just that. This has nothing to do with any qualities, functions, capacities, and skills you may have. It has nothing to do with your status in the world, and nothing to do with living this life in a body or not in a body. It is your nature. The Pearl Beyond Price is the connection between this genuine center and all the capacities, skills, and understanding that are a part of your growth as a human being. It allows your capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of your spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who you are. This is your genuine personal life, your own development, your own growth. The pearl is the actualized individuation of your Soul. So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life. Everyone is born with the true self, with the point. Although we feel that the point is unique in each of us, the quality of the point is universal. Then how do people become so different in their personal lives? This is due to the particular development of their personal essence. Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 66 note: Almaas refers to the soul with the feminine pronoun 'she'.

The thing with the LOA is that you don't get what you want, you get what you are (here I am talking about you the personality, not the true self), If someone wants money, you'll have to built the personality of someone who has a lot of money, even if you don't have, you can start to adopt this personality, in the begging you'll have to fake it, but then money will start to show up, and then eventually you'll start to believe it, so you won't have to fake anymore, Without knowing anything about LOA, I did exactly this when I went to college, My high school years sucked, I was shy and introverted, had very few friends and no girls, and when I graduated I had enough of that, I decided that when I went to college I would be someone different, I Had observed the popular guys from school, so I had an idea of how they act. When I went to college, since my first day I started to pretend that I was cool and popular, nobody knew me anyway so nobody would know that I was faking it. In one month my life was totally different, I had friends and girls, I was invited to parties all the time, it was like these things came from nowhere to me, I couldn't believe that, such a great transformation in such a short period of time.