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I think one of the reasons I didn't commit suicide is because I had pledged o my dad that I would do my absolute best to live a good life. His last words were that I should look after myself He was always worried about me because he thought I was too naive to be to survive in this world.

First off sorry to hear of the loss. I don’t know enough about the guy to make any comments on his state of mind or his reasons. Only what I’ve read. The blame game doesn’t work for me though. There’s such a variety of states of mind following actualized that it’s impossible to cater for all. I’ve seen a fair bit aimed towards the latest video, but let’s not forget the guy never watched that video he took his life before its release. Everybody here has their own agenda of what they want out of spirituality. For me personally it’s pure understanding of reality, what I am and what the hell im upto. And then to live in physical reality with the deepest understanding I can of what it is, how it’s working etc. To enjoy the creation. Whilst understanding it. Understanding myself. To it’s bitter end, it’s natural end. It’s obviously tricky to teach at such a scale, again because of the wide variety of individuals, everyone unique in their own way. It is down to the individual to try to gauge where they are at, to be wise and use common sense. Maybe if a video says ‘advanced’ in the title, then think maybe this isn’t quite for me yet, I’ll put viewing that aside for the time being an study other areas. The thing with it is, Leo is going to teach from where he’s at. New releases are not going to backtrack, dumb down or be watered down. Because those videos are already there. So from his perspective it makes no sense it’s pointless and a waste of time. It’s down to an individual to backtrack themselves through the catalogue of work and take up the teachings from where they honestly feel they’re at. If that’s his early self development videos then that’s where ya at. No point taking in his latest video if your in a position of just working out physical reality through quantum mechanics or something. For me personally I got a lot out of the latest video, and the long deep videos are right up my street. But the same applies where as he isn’t just teaching to suit my wants and needs. It’s on a grand scale and if things need altering in some form I’m sure he will. Let’s also not forget Soonhei will no doubt have taken in other teachings, the likes of tolle, spira, sadguru, yang, loads of the spiritual practices out there, to culminate in that final choice of suicide. Ya know people have hung themselves and committed suicide because their sports team have lost, this is true there’s many cases that can be searched up. But ya don’t blame the team for losing, or a couple of the individual players because maybe ya think they could have put in a little more effort that game. Or ya don’t stop going to watch your team if one of the fans has hung himself because the team got beat. These oddities do happen in all walks of life. It’s tragic and sad. And my heart goes out to those affected. Truth is truth in the end though. And if truth is to be taught, it’s needs to be taught as close to the truth as is possible. Or there’s no point in teaching it. You may as well say your teaching lies ??‍♂️

I have had the thought run through my mind in the past that goes something like this: "This is all a Dream, and all that exist is in my direct experience right here right now (as per Leo's Guided Exercise for Realizing You Are God video). Therefore if I kill myself there will be no family and friends that I leave behind who will grieve me because they are just an illusion, and they will cease to exist once the dream of Tucker dies. Therefore, my suicide will not cause any pain or suffering because there is literally no one else to experience this pain and suffering." A part of me still wonders if this line of thinking has aspects of truth or not. I'm sharing this so that it can be discussed and hopefully clarified rather than me just repressing these half-baked ideas into my shadow. Thank you.

I'm very sad and shocked to hear this happened. I have somewhat similiar experience with the mind getting tangled up with spirituality, death and suicide. I can see how the mind gets caught up with such stories. Nasty stuff. It seems that this is not that rare for some reason. This needs to be addressed more. If anyone wishes to gain insight in how these thought-stories are formed, I'm happy to share my story and experiences.

Don't overthink. You look at an ant. Does it think its way to a suicide? If you pluck out one wing/leg, does it kill itself or fight to survive?

I used to work for the Police. Even if a victim had no family, someone has to deal with the trauma of the aftermath of a suicide, irrespective of how they did it. I saw suicides too much, perhaps one a week over 16 years in the job. I never knew a single time that it didn't affect someone.

When doing spiritual work it is important to ground yourself in Shakti. If he had studied Buddhism and then come to New age spirituality I believe he wouldn't committed suicide. Leo's teachings are dangerous to airy fairy type of people. I read the dudes post and he comes across as such. It is very easy to misinterpret Leo's teachings if the person is airy fairy. Spirituality should go hand in hand with grounding and integrating. Otherwise nasty stuff can happen.

From a utilitarian view it was a bad move, because he wasn't even suffering. So he added a massive amount of extra suffering into the world, unfortunately. I'm all for suicide if it doesn't cause suffering to others. If it means that the total amount of suffering decreases.

I'm not about to take the time to find it all and quote it, but there has been just a bit of shall I say an overly positive response in some posts in regards to this good man's suicide IMHO. Even if I'm completely wrong about that others looking for justification and encouragement to take their own lives may well read what you or I see as compassion as glorification. I read new posts in this forum daily by people toying with the idea to seriously contemplating to truly considering suicide. As I've said, it is an organic part of spiritual development work. In addition self-help and spiritual work draws distraught suicidal people in the first place. This forum if full to the brim of those with death, ego death, and bodily death on their mind. I'm willing to be a bit of an asshole and say slightly offensive things if it means keeping even one person reading this thread from thinking suicide is the answer to their worldly and/or spiritual challenges. It's not personal to you, the deceased, his loved ones, or anyone.

I don’t think this was much of a case of depression or suffering based on what I’ve seen. If it was a case of mental health issues or you’re going to read it that way, disregard this post. The real danger here was intense optimism. He saw everything in the way it could go right rather than how it could go wrong. I literally heard the same words said to me by my much older atheistic friend when he was referring to how I kept experiencing mental health issues due to my intense spiritual practices. I see this sad event like he was a passionate astronaut thinking that using 100% of his fuel to continue exploring twice as far rather than returning home is worth it because the prize of discovery and adventure is that important to him. Is it foolish? It depends on what you value. We don’t consider deaths on Mt. Everest suicide. Climbing up a mountain seems like a much more foolish thing to die for than what he was envisioning if he’s even 1% correct in his projections. Jesus could’ve toned it down and lived. Yet we cherish him for facing death for his cause. Many other mystics experienced similar fates at their own choice through the hands of others. Your mention of Braveheart comes to mind as a more secular example. Our problem with this whole issue is we disagree with how Sunny placed his values into a hierarchy and was willing to take a gigantic gamble for something we personally wouldn’t — at least not in the same way or degree. This whole thread is filled with a stench. And that is the stench of mostly politely concealed judgment and arrogance. So many are looking down at him while giving earnest condolences. Foolish, stupid, overzealous, reckless, inconsiderate, selfish, immoral, the list goes on. Whether held mostly subconsciously or with true intention, many of you had one of these words or a synonym in mind when thinking of his decision and maybe even him. Remember him how you see fit. I’ll remember him as a true devotee with more courage than I. RIP to my brother who I hardly knew ❤️. The Holy Spirit already showed me you’re still here. I only wish his family could receive this confirmation rather than me.

Showing compassion and understanding to the deceased is not glorification of suicide. Glorification would be if people did not feel sorry or if they cheered such an act and encouraged others to do the same. However I didn't see that on the thread. Most people expressed regret that it happened. I don't see this as glorification but condemnation and disappointment expressed in a compassionate way.

@Preety_India I'm sorry Preety. I mean no disrespect to him, his family and friends, you, or anyone. All I'm saying is that for the sake of preserving human life and this community we must condemn and not glorify suicide.

@Leo Gura it is not natural to kill one's body nor is it natural to die prematurely. I do not approve of it whether you like it or not. Remember, existence is a natural phenomenon. And nature is not masochistic. Nature does not condone suicide that easily. There is a natural way and there is an unnatural way. And I swear these people in spirituality who are being masochistic to awaken are the most dangerous people. Speaking of the mahatmas, christian monks, and buddhist saints... etc. And especially what has plagued the world are those people who infect others with such presuppositions about Nature. And people cheer on them, unfortunately, so they are easy to propagate. People love masochistic people, because if they see anyone taking care of themselves in a loving way, they feel jealous. I am sure Nature despises such things, to say the least.

This is very sad news indeed. Thoughts with the family But the unfortunate truth is that after actualized has millions upon millions of views, it was inevitable that someone who committed suicide was somehow linked to actualized. but of course someone who commited suicide could be identified as a ‘forum member’ but could have also been anything else going on in his life. someone mentioned that Leo should put out a video mentioning SoonHei’s name. I don’t think there’s need for this. I remember once someone read an e book I wrote and then blamed me for their depression. It was a long mess of small court, lawyers etc For some reason, people are waiting in the wings for Leo and something like this will be exactly what some people have waited for to tear him down. It could be blown out of proportion and risk everything.

The fact of the matter is that the contemplation of suicide simply goes with the territory of spiritual development. It is a challenge that most every serious seeker must wrestle with and transcend, and some will face it long-term and/or repeatedly; and some will fail to win Freedom without falling bodily by their own hand. This is the case in all awakening work in every tradition and type of teaching. Absolute Life is what we aspire to and to become One with it we must face relative death. To well understand that this is Not a Call or a Cause to Commit Suicide even in the darkest night of the soul when it is very tempting is why a strong disciplined mind must be developed before undertaking hard-core spiritual practices of any sort, including with psychedelics. It is important that everyone here recognize that the path to enlightenment is both beautifully light and dark. It is strewn with the dead in traps that can bind and snare and kill you too both metaphorically and literally. Learn well the lesson SoonHei died to teach us. His death must be firmly condemned least we risk it being glorified and worse case scenario such death becomes a theme here. It gives me no pleasure to say he was a deluded fool, a victim of his own spiritualized ego, and it ended his life out of pure fear disguised as lofty spirituality. Know that for a minor turn of fate it could have happened to any of us. Those who Know know it did happen to us. It is loss. It is pain. It is grief and hardship and remorse. Be wise. Learn from this mistake and don't repeat it.

@Bojan V No I don't plan to suicide, I just sometimes have suicidal thoughts when my life goes unexpected ways. @Roy The negative thoughts seem very persuasive even if it's the partial truth, a perspective/worldview. I realised that the thoughts can be the source of my suffering, but on the other hand living without thoughts can cause suffering too. To indulge the feeling of leaving this earth is probably the most horrifying thing there is. And I've seen an attempt of suicide, it was devastating to watch and don't wish anyone to experience that.

Anyways, anyone blaming Actualized.org for his death must be absurd. I already can feel the energy of this forum people trying to pull that shit off saying it is somewhat Leo's responsibility. Compassion to the man who is deceased but I don't condone any of his actions and it is an undeniable fact that suicide is not necessarily the wisest choice, and that is a fact! But at the same time, out of anyone here, I am of the opinion, it is completely one's choice to commit such acts and no one should or should not tell him what to do and control him, indefinitely! I still, will tell him and others, do not feel bad or be angry just because someone has trodden the road of his own, in which in this case, suicide. I don't blame him for committing suicide. I will help him get there and be with him in that lonely road. Any of you blaming others for his suicide and encouraging him and saying his choice is something to be completely accepted and never to be challenged upon is tredding on a path of nihilism: I can be sure. To tell another person one should be indefinitely be in agreement to one's path is the most arrogant thing and this sort of force over power only breeds more nihilism and hatred. This sort of attitude only demonstrates how much you don't accept other's going on their own path, and you just want everyone to agree with your own. This includes our friend who has just died! I can already feel the energy gliding towards this path, and it is dangerous. A real person who supports our friend's path will right away be honest and truthful to him in the most friendly way. Only a person who does not support the deceased person's path will lie and pretend like what he has done was a very wise choice both for himself and others! I'll give you this simple rule for those who think I'm an asshole, don't lie or pretend to the person you love dearly! And do not force others to lie or pretend just to show an appearance of support! That is not truly supporting the journey the other is going through! If you truly want to support wherever the other person is trying to go to, never pretend or lie to them. Do not force the other person to agree with you. That is nihilism and bondage. Do not force people to think like you.

Neither is suicide a cowardly act nor a selfish one. And it is not some romantic fantasy either It's just hard and cold.

"I think to call suicide a cowardly act is to severely downplay the illness of the one who left this world. Their pain must have been so great, their despair so colossal, their path so dark that the only way out they saw was to end their own life." Hope his family and friends find strength in these dark times.

@Preety_India I'm saying this is not Leo's fault. I never said don't kill yourself. Suicide is your choice. I'm saying we have no responsibility over it, including Leo. People blaming Leo for this is utter fucking nonsense. It's so fucking stupid. I feel this energy in this forum where people are blaming Leo. Fuck you. And saying fuck you to these people, people then associate people like me who say, "fuck you" as saying "fuck you" to the deceased guy. We weren't saying "fuck you" to the deceased soul, we were saying "fuck you" to you specifically who blame people who had no responsibility over it.

@sda look suicide is not a matter of judgement. If I died the last thing I would want is people discussing whether it was right or wrong I would simply want people to empathize with my situation and offer compassion for my soul. That's all. Is this hard ? Who are we to decide if what the person did is right or wrong ? Most likely it's wrong because it's hurtful But the point is not about deciding whether it's right or wrong but understanding why and how it happened and how it could have been prevented and offering understanding, love and compassion and respect to the deceased for their action. Nobody likes to die. Suicide is just another cry for help, the ultimate cry for help when it's too late. Can we judge someone for crying ?

Do self empowerment exercises. This forum will completely forget the Suicide. Don't I know this ?

I really don't think Leo should take this guy seriously. This guy was on the verge of suicide anyways. It happened to be that he was associated with actualized.org in this specific point of time. To be honest with you, @Leo Gura , I don't think this guy was intelligent in the first place if he actually killed himself thinking it will help him spiritually. That's about the most dumbest shit I've ever heard of. He is in fact irresponsible to leave his children and wife like that. Very nonspiritual, in my opinion. A real man of spiritual essence would dedicate his life to dying before dying. In what world do you think your ego will die if you kill yourself? Your body will die, but your ego will be left! Your dreams, your past experiences will not die, just because your body has died! You will be the same suffering idiot that you were before. Huh.... I know I should be compassionate to him. I don't know if he did this out of spiritual pursuit or out of deep suffering. If it is from suffering, he should be clear that this was not because of actualized.org. If it was for spiritual pursuit, I cannot take him seriously. I know what it is like to want to kill yourself because of deep suffering! I know it! huh.... I may not criticize him so harshly if this was the case, but still, I will never try and encourage such behavior............. One must look at the muse, his dreams, his love of life, and pursue that muse to the end of the universe, however so painful and full of suffering it might be. That's what makes life so beautiful.... I really say this out of compassion and sadness to the man who had killed himself People like Leo who proposes advanced spiritual concepts are met with two kinds of people usually. One are really fucked up psychologically ill people and the other are people who have relatively healthy minds craving for something more essential than their superficial lives. People in between do not come to Leo because they are usually occupied with their jobs, family, and relationships. They don't have time to think about love, happiness, or philosophy. Psychologically ill people need love, happiness, and support, so they leech onto people like Leo. This guy who died is obviously the latter. I know what it feels like to suffer and really consider killing yourself. I've been there. I was fucking close, yet I solved it because of one attitude. It was mental. All mental. I had a health problem called Chronic pelvic pain syndrome. Search it up, and you'll know how painful it is. I solved it by doing what Eckhart Tolle, OSHO had said. Be loving towards the world, only then can happiness come. How can there be happiness if you hate yourself and the world you live in? The compassionate thing to do is not encourage this man's suicidal behavior. Yes, one is sad about it. One wishes it would have been different. Yes, one can feel the suffering of the deceased one. However, do not encourage the behavior of being unloving towards himself and others. In my assessment of the man, he hasn't been so compassionate to himself or the world. Whether the reason was to kill himself for his spiritual quest or to just end his suffering I don't know. If it was the former, I have no words but "tough luck", but if it was the latter, I will have to say, "I wish I could have done better for you even if I never knew you." Whatever reason, I feel he should've been more aware of his surroundings and most importantly himself. Consequences follow when one is unaware of the world and himself and is unloving of the world and himself. Let us learn from this man... but not take him too seriously like we are now!

With all due respect to his family, friends and this community. It's nobody's fault... nobody's. Like Leo said, nobody really knows what was going on there. Often times this sort of thing is long planned and hidden very well so it won't be interrupted unfortunately. In 2013 we lost a friend that was playing poker with us the very night before he shot himself in the armory the next morning... literally no one saw it coming, it was absolutely mind-boggling and tragic at the time. There are lots of Suicide Prevention programs available nowadays.... the one they taught us was called ACT. A-ask C-care T-treat ❤

I always think of Kurt Cobain whenever I think of suicide. He was born on February 20 and I was born on February 21. We are both Pisces. We can go into deep dark moods when things are going wrong