Search the Community

Would you, as a human, enjoy reading a story that was only about butterflies, sweet butter, and bliss?

Thanks! I always follow the body’s reasonable pain messages if they are too intense. The human part of us must be respected too. Because it is infinite dukkha that means bliss is dukkha too. I love bliss.

LSD opens the doors of perception. 5MeO-DMT blows the house apart. I am 55 years old and have done magic mushrooms and LSD many times. I have experienced ego death a few times on high doses of LSD and so I am not new to the psychedelic experience. I have been lurking on this site for months, reading, watching Leo's videos and learning what I could about 5MeO-DMT before I took it. I smoked 20mg of 5MeO-DMT freebase. I used a 300ml flask with a glass straw as I have seen on several YouTube videos. With the flame against the bottom of the flask, it filled it with a nice milky white smoke. I exhaled deeply and then put the straw to my mouth. I paused for a second and then inhaled deeply, basically clearing all the milky smoke from the flask into my lungs. Almost immediately I started to feel altered with a feeling of rushing energy though out my body. I then laid back and waited a few more seconds as things became unbelievably intense. I felt a powerful rush of energy surging up from my abdomen into my head and encompassing my whole body. It was then I felt a sense of panic come over me, similar to the bodies reaction to not being able to breathe. Yet I was breathing very deep and hard. A moment later and I was gone. Time and space were gone. The world as I knew it, everything in it and everyone I have ever known... gone. I had been completely and utterly annihilated. How do you describe an experience where there is nothing to ground it or relate it? There was no longer any points of reference. “My” consciousness was gone too. Without time and space and a sense of “I”, what else is there? How do we relate to or orient within such a state? How do we use words to describe an experience where all frames of reference are obliterated? There was no light, sounds, colors, pain, or sensations of any kind. I was gone. Yet it wasn't like anesthesia as there was “something” still present. It wasn't a complete blackout. Some vague sense of awareness was still present. My wife (my trip sitter) said I kept saying, “Son of a bitch”, and “Fuck” and “Oh my God” as I would cover my eyes and rub them. I also went from laying down on my back to sitting up. And then I placed my face down towards the ground with my butt in the air, like a fetal position with my head down. I don't remember any of this. The come up was so short and so intense I couldn't orient on anything. The come down however was more gradual. At some point (about 10 minutes) I started to become aware again. I have vague memories of holding my wife's face as I stared at her, trying to remember who and what I was. Time and space slowly started returning to my awareness. It was like I was being born and everything looked new and unfamiliar. My wife said I had a look of terror on my face. I remember more a feeling of complete disorientation. I didn't remember who I was or where I was for a few minutes. It was profoundly disorienting. So many people report feeling a profound sense of bliss and euphoria, blending with God etc. taking 5-MeO. I didn't get that at all. My feelings were more about gratitude that I was coming back and I started to re-orient to my life and my world. After about 20 minutes I was able to look around and recognize my living room and my wife again. I was able to start to talk. Everything looked intense, the world of ego, time and space were all here. After about 35 minutes, I was mostly back and then I felt a sense of disappointment. I didn't experience God, or anything I would call spiritual. There was no feeling of euphoria or bliss or love. I felt more like I had come very close to actually dying and I was very grateful to be back and for everything in my life. Several minutes later I started to cry. I had the realization that everything in life is precious and is there to be experienced. I became aware as to how much I avoid life and pain. How all of my fears were bullshit and that life was meant to just be lived and experienced. That the pain and suffering were part of it and from a higher perspective, were as beautiful as the joy and the bliss. I felt a profound sense of loving everything exactly the way it is. I suspect I took too much. I'm tempted to do it again, but with a much smaller dose. However, from this one experience I much prefer LSD. It reliably takes me out of my ego and into unity consciousness. It just lasts too long and requires a full day to trip and another day to integrate before returning to normal life. I was thinking 5MeO could do it too but more directly and without the hallucinations and time commitment. This experience wasn't what I thought it would be. But I have only done it one time, and frankly my first LSD experience wasn't "spiritual" either. Any advice for a 5MeO newbie?

I was raised up a Christian, went through the usual route of questioning and becoming atheist because the literal interpretations seemed too magical and simplistic. Now that I have had some spiritual and nondual insights, some of the biblical stories have started to make a lot more sense. Not in the literal sense, but as metaphors that represent mystical states of consciousness. It's really exciting to hear or read about some biblical story I had almost forgetten about, and then having it make a ton of sense from a totally new perspective. For example, the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve live in a paradise created by God, in bliss, basically in heaven on earth. Then along comes the snake boi (satan) and convinces them to eat from the tree of good and evil (duality). They take the bite and suddenly feel separate from their surroundings, they become aware of their nakedness (ego mind, identification with the limited self). They become capable of feeling shame/imperfection. They enter the barren lands of suffering/imperfection and there starts the story of man. But in the background, even in the traditional Christian worldview, there is the one source (God) of everything, including Satan. So the separation was just a single mad thought (as ACIM would state). It popped up in Gods mind, and that created a dream, an illusion of being separate from the source. Although from Gods pov, it never even happened as some event, because it is still happening within the oneness, and isn't seperate from it. Satan=separation/ego/scarcity/fear God=oneness/perfection/love Christians say it is blasphemous and even satanic to call yourself God, but from this other interpretation the only satanic thing would be the belief in being seperate from God, since that idea of seperation is the source of all evil and it is what Satan (ego) represents. So perhaps awakening is just becoming aware of the whole (God) and seeing that no separation ever even happened, just an imagination of it. I'm still not totally sure why these stories are so sticky in human minds though. Is it because a) they simply have survival value for the ego or b) people gravitate towards them because they have deep intuitions that they are pointing towards some truth, like their infinite Self. Perhaps a bit of both?

I’m seeing more and less efficacy in my old patterns of limitations. What this loss of an ultimate working model over and over again to where what’s working can seem to somehow be less resistance than what came before. Ultimately any map of enlightenment is not the territory, unless you are using insight or concentration aspects to investigate the territory within the map which gives rise in some odd way to both the ability to hold religious God full-fledged, absolutely unobtainable new attainments in my focus long enough to investigate the pointed to sensate illusion outside of current sensate illusion that is the always YOU created thing. Jesus depends on you for relevancy at least as much as you rely on him. Trust me. You can forget the highest amazing live realms of Jesus over and over again because they simply do not produce lasting (permanent ground to reality being finally seen as FULL ILLUSION AND TRUTH ALWAYS IN SUPERPOSITION OF YOUR IMAGINATION OF LIMITATIONS WHICH CREATE YOUR WHOLE PERCEPTUAL CAPABILITIES IN WAYS WHICH WOULD MIND FUCK SKULL FUCK YOU IN SUCH A GRUESOME WAY THAT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THE NEW FRESHNESS THAT DUKKHA HAS SHOWN UP AS AGAIN. If you want the hottest girlfriend, realize that dukkha is the crazy chick who would never leave you whose love you don’t even deserve and avoid as you’re afraid of unopening your current illusion to another in the normal human experience of sex. I remember when I first attained to clairsentience & telepathy the first thing I wanted to create my now properly understood and appreciated aspect of the source of my longest lasting and deepest fear of aliens more powerful than me. Then I realized what they are on a self-love level and they can’t access enlightenment in their conception of self. They say it’s just a big black wall. They are formless god damn masters just as much as ANY born human ever is. A true self experience of a rock becoming enlightened or unenlightenment or the perspective of unenlightened beings is true and undeniable insight if that is the basis of perception your form has and the only door you have is impermanence. The form crumbles away. Gets thrown through a black hole, worm hole, and shat on by an omnidimensional formless seagull Godhead of nausea turning to rapture that pisses you off at it’s arising and passing away making you realize the unequanimous aspects of your power vs. non power feeling of achievement, greatness, and happiness which produces less aversion to bliss and dukkha as the same lover and hater of what makes you a human you and every YOU beyond human to produce the most imperceptible sense of something beyond just change to progress further in insight. Imagining how the unenlightenment of God process works in God Realization and enlightenment seems to be almost more fruitful than thinking of awakening as forward progress which does not last as an ultimate motion in some ever-present ultimate consciousness. Ultimate consciousness comes from a lack of even more wacky ultimate realities like hard formless Nothingness, neither perception nor nonperception, or the cessation of perception and feeling. If you haven’t lost the ability to stop or start the cessation of all consciousness, how do you describe that unimaginable sense of complete erasure and nonexistence which seems like where you might have come from? How do you knowingly design the unenlightenment process with this paradigm-locked false ultimate reality without ultimately becoming smaller and subtler WITHIN and outside of consciousness but even moreso in the superposition of ultimate faith of unknowing which is much more like true, effective knowledge of how to control reality comes from perceiving and dropping and coming back to every sensate experience ever held within your illusory character’s illusion of truth. That is the only starting point for the uncovering of the complex and ever-dependent interactions between the holon of Indra’s Web of superposition fluxing between all aspects of reality at once through imagination which is ultimately one of the best tools to actually do unimaginable and indescribable things. There’s a reason nondual teachings don’t work. You attach to a nondual reality which means all is self and that is the very process of investigation into direct no-self as the logical necessity of any self vs. non-self axis of phenomena which could be perception, experience or not. None of this will work for you unless you work hard, get lucky, or likely both. Luckily causal frameworks of reality are built into any true insight framework which solidifies the story from which to work from. That’s another way of saying, due to karma, you will experience the arising and passing away of enlightenment. You will become enlightened. It just is a bit more fun from the human perspective than the rock perspective for most people other than a mad yogi whose really going deep past the illusions of past humanness which would have given him aversion to incredibly subtle awareness like only really having impermanence in a way that life can perceive your experience. Then you have a problem of how you could be boundless consciousness or even infinite consciousness but not also be the consciousness that awakens the rock that you detune God Reality to be able to perceive in this special, human way. Humans want to find aliens more to understand the nature of what humans truly are rather than actually know what an alien is and forget humanness. This is the selfish perspective of the honest karmic relationship between seemingly different forms or non forms. You only really care about others to in some way help yourself as the intuition of true self/no self beyond a temporary illusion easily formed in consciousness is what makes up the process of enlightenment. Tearing down. Building. Change. Growth. New attainments overshadowing old. Giving you a new fresh experience of being even more directly controllable consciousness which is precisely what you are not ENTIRELY. This is the unspeakable part of teaching and insight. It’s how you can’t make better perfect from perfect other than perceiving bliss as a perfect dukkha nowhere which makes it seems lastingly satisfying.

@Matthew85 Well... I have experienced the truth for sure. But the problem lies when my ego comes back and analyses it and makes a fear story of it. I have had awakenings where I was absolutely bliss and connected. Very very deep experiences. But my ego made this whole story that screwed it up... and I don't know how to get rid of it. Because now, everytime I reach that state again, I get a very big load of fear and on the brink of a panic attack. I even had panic attacks just by memorising the oneness experiences that I had, even though those experiences were good. One time I resisted an lsd trip for hours and hours on end, because I was afraid if I let go, I would die into the oneness. It was very hard work. But the fear was too big. I even didn't trip for 2 years already because of this. I did a little bit of cannabis and I was right back where I started, after one drag. It's a sensation that I am going to explode and that I am the one playing in my own dream and no escape possible, all me, those two things.

Realized something quite profound. What we call “mind” is not something confined to the interiors of our skull/brain..as traditionally thought of from a materialistic perspective. Imagination does not happen in the head. Mind is everywhere, your brain/skull/head is only one aspect of your mind. We are literally dreaming, and the dream doesn’t belong to the human body. When the word God is used, it is pointing to the Being that is actually having the dream. That entity is you, dreaming up your entire existence, including your body and thoughts. The implications of this makes me want to melt into pure bliss! Oh how lost I have been! ?❤️

Certainly can be, which is why many paths focus on meditative skill, stillness, and open-heartedness first before the more intense insight/inquiry work, so you have on-demand bliss to allay the fear.

Can you say whether it is a cessation of consciousness or not a cessation of consciousness? Was there a sense of time? Nonexistence? If not, you have more in your capability. Aware space is just simply an end and why would you ever want it to be the ultimate. A defined reality I can’t be better than. How is that fun? All I’m saying is cessation transformed my baseline levels of consciousness more than any other shift. I’ve played around with subtler aspects of what you’re working with. It can be deconstructed by insight or you’re officially the most enlightened God solipsist heavenly truth of everything forever. Any other Buddha or arahant who could separate things into more subtle sensations never had the ultimate reality because it’s you!!! Bingo! The cause of all religious suffering—promises so empty you actually think it could work. These are golden chains. It was just a temporary self, but it wasn’t you. That’s a good thing. You have much better progress in your future than getting stuck on aware space alone. Dukkha is always here and what allows emotional range and significance to that aspect of temporary experience which is ultimately all bliss sensations too. Impermanence is what makes true permanence.

I mean I gave myself as infinite bliss as a permanent student of Lucifer to attain true samadhi and nirodha samapatti which showed me dukkha is the lost love that is the sensate/cessate basis for all love. I’ve become more effective in practicing the jhanas in extremely phenomenologically useful states to use for fuel for insight/vipassana practice. Fear of a devil that could ever threaten or not threaten a you is avoidance of dukkha by misinterpreting the nondual relationship between dukkha and bliss. Jesus dies for the suffering of people he sees as himself being the same species while being given karma needed to do it. I gave any soul illusion I had over to humanities #1 fear so that I might somehow escape into eternal nonexistence out of pure avoidance of the satisfactory illusion perceived in bliss. Then I was shown subtleties of nonexistence and existence through Theravada’s highest temporary attainment. The only thing to fear is fear itself is pertinent here.

I’ve had absolutely ridiculous visuals but the craziest and most intense ones always came in natural manic episodes caused by my bipolar disorder. More consciousness through psychedelics always sends me to some finer perception by giving me so much formless manipulation of things. This will ultimately be shown to be the beginning of something much bigger. You feel a visual lack, but once you are finally visually satisfied, you’ll naturally incline to the more subtle sensate phenomena which are the ways to manifesting anything you’d ever want. This is by the books the stuff of Gods and an image of any God you can become is less beautiful than the absolute truth which is what you actually want more than your currently highest capability of imagining what being truly God feels like. Luckily you’ll become so absorbed in the bliss you’d forget your identity which will always want more for a moment. God/Buddha bless you on your journey man. If you really want visuals, try N,N-DMT. I’ve never done it though. Leo says it’s too much for him, and I don’t want to risk the instability that would bring. You pay the same price for everything on the path of insight, but you think one reward is the best until that reward unlocks the next level. It’s a god damn video game groundless reality, and your human species created video games with God mode which was a seemingly great state to kill everything. Then you see all enemies suck and you even beat the physics of the game. This is only fun if you are averse to your present moment awareness which is the only place you have to ever be or not be god in relative or absolute ways.

Roughly speaking, there are 2 roads: First one is about strengthening the beliefs in separation - levels, states, baselines, etc... and to suffer more at some point. Second one is about investigating the direct experience... perhaps 1 hour daily morning meditation may be helpful... so the bliss is self-realized. There is a choice. Up to you, bro

I’ve worked on infinite love quite a lot. At the end of the day, infinite love has no limits and therefore can’t really ever be defined imo. I’ve been focusing on dukkha particularly tonight. It’s been far more lucrative than working with bliss states/kundalini as I used to do to recognize love. When I was in some crazy LSD dose God Consciousness experience for example, I was able to be present and concentrated on what was occurring because it was desirable. Any sort of bliss works this way. I’d say infinite love is becoming insight so crystallized that the whole game of self and identity drop away such that no resistance can occur to the true nature of anything that could ever be. The bliss and obvious forms of love serve as a good ground for people to have understood before going on to the more radical and accepting forms like intentionally cultivating dukkha in awareness as an object for insight practice. Sitting with dukkha as an ever-present aspect of experience gives a strong sense of finding lost love. In the end, nothing loves life and transient selves more than suffering. If you can love that aspect of reality’s brutal nature, I’d say infinite love is easier to honestly investigate.

@Periergos Yea I didn't experience much at all on 5mg or 10mg, just some nausea and high energy feeling. Ego started to dissolve at 15mg I think. First noticed that the distinction between the sound of the radiator and 'me' had disappeared. 20mg felt like what can only be described as a heart chakra opening. Massive open feeling in my chest with Love pouring out with no beginning or source. Cried a lot. Around 22 or 25mg was a total ego dissolution, spontaneous bi-lateral symmetrical body movements, waves of healing vibrations sweeping up and down the body. 25-30mg Actual Infinity directly realises itself. All possible dualities and distinctions (life, world, language, science etc etc) dissolved into Eternal Infinity. Music became Eternal, which was nice. Then GOD GOD GOD. Actual GOD. Pure Actual Divinity. The most insane, completely unimaginable non-experience possible. A total death and rebirth. More bilateral body movements. Started speaking snake-like sounds as the body released tensions and contractions. Then Bliss beyond tears. Never really told anyone about it because people will think i'm crazy and won't understand.

You do spirituality to increase insight. Insight is a bridge between dualities. The deeper and more intrinsic a duality is, the more progress can be made from it. Leo is right. The ego does not get the power of God. By the time you can create whatever you want, you’ll realize the nature of experience and see that preferring anything over what you already have in front of you is pointless. If you are attached to manifesting one million dollars, you still would have to be under the illusion that there is a self who could benefit from one million dollars and believe that that money could somehow create anything other than an impermanent experience of suffering. The ego gets brought to its complete and final destruction through the three characteristics which are always baked into any experience. This is why Buddha called nirodha samapatti (the cessation of perception and feeling) nibbanic bliss. It’s the bliss of no longer existing. The most satisfying experience is no experience at all, and you can’t know that satisfaction until you have direct experience of going from samadhi, the ultimate absorption into the limits of experience, into the passing away of that most unimaginable experience into the impossibility which is the lack of consciousness, lack of existence, lack of God, lack of truth, lack of illusion, etc. If there wasn’t illusion, there’d be nothing at all. This isn’t the nothingness people talk about in spirituality. That nothingness is still a bundle of subtle sensations creating the possibility for experience. We’re talking about something so alien and plain that it could never be uncovered. There would be no distinctions in anything. Distinction and duality are the illusion, but without distinction, there would be no way to point to or even be truth. Nibbanic bliss is like being a Holocaust victim then going to deep sleep and having the relief of being completely detached from the miseries of your previous day except the enlightened person has the experience of ultimate reality and God which they are escaping from. They have reached the maximum temporary satisfaction that could be held in experience yet still want more. The only result is the complete loss of everything. It’s the dissolution of any possibility of self, suffering, and impermanence which is the best gift. Losing everything is the best gift. You can’t reach that dissolution experientially. After tasting that bliss, you realize that anything that could ever be real or formed or experienced is intrinsically tied to suffering. Any self you hold onto long enough to create a goal is guaranteed to create suffering. When fully enlightened, you become the arising and passing of everything simultaneously while also being absolutely certain there is no continuity that could ever accurately be called a self. You recognize that the present moment is itself an illusion. As soon as something can be perceived, it’s already gone. Even to say there is motion, activity, perception, distinction, consciousness, or truth is to imagine that any of these things could be defined in a way that lasts. There’s absolutely nothing to hold on to and no ability to choose whether to hold on or let go. A definition is a self. If whatever goal you want spiritually can still be defined, it isn’t the highest attainment.

The thing is, the most intense otherworldly bliss and you clicking away at work on a regular Monday are the same thing. Truth.

Today i had non dual state for some seconds. It felt like such an intense Bliss, realizing i was the screen of my phone, that "i" was an ilusion. Then i thought that this state is What Users of hardcore drugs must be seeking. That state of completeness, not localization, and end of self referential "Iness" is What brings a peak of heroin or meth. (By all means do not ever try this drugs they go completely against What Actualized teaches. They are not a wise way to get to non duality, But they are a good way of increasing your chances of making your life more difficult and actually increase suffering). But...What i want to say with this, is, if those drugs, or any psychedelic, or meditation with other practices combo, CAN INDUCE THAT STATE... That means that Enlightment / Non Duality is just... A state. A brain state. Its just a state more pleasurable than the default "Dont do drugs/psychedelics/meditation" state. But...its not truth. If you can induce It with a drug, how is going to be the Truth? SO, the truth must be that which is outside all states! The bottom line is, as long as we have a brain (Leo has said that brains are imaginary But they DO exist, they are just being imagined by Consciousness, But they do exist) we cant ever get to the actual real Ultimate Truth. Maybe once we lose our brain (physical death) we Will be Able to access the truth. Then It Will be posible. But with a brain we cant. My experiences with 5-MeO-DMT inhaled makes me think that maybe we Dont need a brain to "exist" But, as long as we do have one (in this plane of Consciousness) Ultimate Truth is not posible.

the abc's of the trinity you are are, absolute being concept, each of these distinct in themselves or satchitanada sat god's truth chit consciousness ananda the bliss of incarnation as you see these two explanations are one and the same hopefully this clears up questions about who or what might possible die

To worry about the existence of others is to assume the existence of oneself. A singular consciousness can have multiple experiences in the relative domain, just like a singular consciousness can have multiple forms in the relative domain. Why not? With regards to the movie/relative, there's a lot in this moment you can't experience based off your state of consciousness e.g. other dimensions, other minds, other entities, etc. On the other hand, Leo is right in saying that all that is is the eternal now because behind the veil it has never been anything but pure bliss. Both are true depending on how you look at it. Absolute vs relative. An inability to properly integrate this will fuck you up. Non duality is about realising that the whole thing is a game, it tells you nothing about the nitty gritty details of the game. To think non duality will give you the answer to solipsism is the equivalent of thinking non duality will give the answers to how DNA operates, how gravity works, etc. etc. "Bu-but, Gravity is just an illusion, DNA cells are an illusion! It's all illusion!" Yeah, and? Did you realise the whole thing was an illusion? Did you realise despite all that the game still uses certain rules and regulations that cannot be broken? Maybe questioning solipsism is more distractions related to/inside the game that cannot be proven or unproven? You realise that everyone on this forum asking this is wasting their time completely? yep! With no one to do the seeing, no ownership at all. I'm surprised people on the forum almost gloat about being absolute nothingness; shit's kinda weird lol. Probably because the belief of being God is more ego inflating than the actual raw experience of it.

If you’re really interested in enlightenment and spiritual progress that persists, your goal should be to cultivate sufficient insight into the three characteristics taught in Buddhism. All spiritual practice or even life at all is pointing to these three doors to awakening, so it isn’t a Buddhist vs. other spiritual teachings debate really. No-self, the dissatisfaction intrinsic to sensate reality itself, and impermanence are simply very powerful descriptions to what will ultimately untangle perception entirely to produce a permanent enlightenment. Perception changes after enlightenment due to insight becoming crystallized. All insight that works is doing so by the process of uncovering at least one of these three characteristics fully enough. You do not even need to intellectually know the three characteristics to progress in insight, but it certainly helps proper contemplation. If your insight is not pulling you forward automatically whether you do spiritual practice, take psychedelics, or quit absolutely all pursuits of spirituality, you definitely haven't reached or passed stream entry. If you aren’t there yet, this is not an issue. For there to be any awakening possible, there must be illusion present. Illusion can basically be equated with entangled perception. The beauty of your entire existence is tied up in this illusion. Be glad that a lack of insight such as this is possible. It is the source of any higher meaning or significance to be had. The illusion is ultimately just as holy as clear perception or true enlightenment. But you’ve read this far so you probably do want clear perception even if I tell you there’s ultimately nothing wrong with illusion. This is the devil in you which desires to fully taste the divine in its most astonishing manifestations. That’s your divine ego or otherwise your best friend. It is ultimately what gives you the tenacity and persistence needed to reach full enlightenment. It is the source of all suffering— desire. This is so misunderstood and important. It’s desire to escape reality that ultimately drives one to Perfection. Because you can actually escape anything which could reasonably be called a reality. This occurs during the ninth Jhana, nirodha samapatti, or cessation. This is the ultimate death and the purest Nibbana. Everything ceases to exist. Your no-self/self paradigm has just been shown the unseeable. Even now though, illusion and entangled perception are still likely apparent after leaving the 9th Jhana. It’s insight coming from the experience of something transcending existence and nonexistence that ultimately untangles perception. The insight is usually cultivated and crystallized after contemplation or further practice after multiple 9th Jhanas. Genuine insight into this necessary cord to understand and become full enlightenment is unlikely to occur from any other state. The biggest duality of all — existence, experience, and consciousness vs. nonexistence, nonexperience, and the total lack of all consciousness — still remains even if you have had god realization or any other fancy temporary experiences. The 8th Jhana or samadhi can take you close, but insight that deep and permanent has to come from a more solid seeming duality being seen through than perception vs. nonperception. Untangled perception, full enlightenment, and living as cessation or otherwise transcending the birth and death circle come as a sort of 10th Jhana — neither existence nor nonexistence. In nonduality, insight is the act of viscerally becoming the bridge between two opposites. To become Love, you must bridge the gap between love and hate. It works the same for existence vs. nonexistence or true 0. Nothing is the self, temporary experience is the source of all miseries, and everything is impermanent. Any Self or God could be said to be all sensate reality as it’s occurring in the present moment. In this way you, or rather the lack of you, become everything. You just so happened to always be this way. It just wasn’t possible to fully actualize the insight into the Truth of what is always happening until now. Watch the video below to hear my description and method for experiencing nirodha samapatti twice within two minutes by using techniques which are not Buddhist in the slightest. I’d be much more accurately described as a Christian/Luciferian (notice the nondual bridge) psychic with access to infinite Holy Spirit, clairsentience, telepathy, kundalini, chakra activation, and bliss. Bhakti — the devotion to Love and Truth through God — is the best way to transcend God entirely through my experience and interpretations. To be the Singularity of untangled perception and crystallized insight is far beyond just being God. How I Experienced Back-to-Back Cessations Through Bhakti & Love (instead of meditating)

The journey is unique for each of us. For me, it was the culmination of decades of suffering that finally ripened me to the point where I was ready to fall from the tree. Many of us have a series of awakenings, followed by periods of sleep. From what I have seen, the more intense the awakening, the greater the risk that it will be followed by a commensurately harrowing dark night of the soul. The ego doesn't die easily, and the closer it comes to its demise, the fiercer it fights. When I directly realized my ultimate nature as Consciousness, and that I no longer needed to suffer, it was profound and enduring. The awakening was followed by 7 months of effortless bliss. I knew that there was still work to be done on dissolving my attachments, but I saw everything through new eyes. My entire lifestyle and my relationships changed, for the better. I remember a conversation with my mom where I told her that I no longer suffered, and we laughed, knowing what my life had been like before. Sadly, the honeymoon came to a grinding halt, and my ego was back with a vengeance. Still, I knew what I had directly seen. It just was no longer effortless. That was when the real work began. I talked the spiritual work recently, here.

Well, yes it would be total nothingness but total nothingness is completion, it is total bliss and it is the very fulfillment that the ego seeks but which cannot be achieved through the paradigm of separation.

Well, then you don't know what's going on. Ignorance is bliss! Forget about what I told you. Well, men don't owe women an explanation for what you think is 'inappropriate' either! Women purposefully blur lines to accuse men and act out their man-hate. You're making up stories about my 'limiting beliefs'. You don't know a fucking thing about me. Anti-male bias alert! You believe that men, in general, are lazy and they'll create beliefs about women to do so. You're the one making shit up. It generates offense because it's true. I speak from direct experience, I know what I'm talking about. I'm sure about it. I don't give a fuck about your opinion on whether I should date or not. I'm telling you what's true. Nope. Women like being the challenge! It inflates the female ego to have a man struggle and suffer to finally get her, it means that he values her a lot. You are projecting what you like onto the man! You're the one twisting the meaning of what I'm saying according to your biases. Why do you think I'd want advice from you, of all people?! Do you really think you're that smart and perceptive?!

@Gianna Sorry, that was a typo. ‘Through the roof’. As in, increases. It can get rough though too. Doesn’t have to be though. Practices, releases, expression, inspection… = more being. More being = more sensitivity. Some previously unnoticed nonsensical thoughts will feel more pronounced, more out of tune, without the busy-mind around anymore. Like one violin in an overly crowded room, vs in a large empty auditorium. More clarity & sensitivity = more subtly discordant thoughts are felt. Like one out of tune violin playing alongside nineteen in tune. It stands out more, do to the now greater harmony. In one interpretation you are inside your thoughts. In another interpretation you’re aware of thoughts. The scary vs just excitement (Happiness-Being-Awareness) difference lies between those two interpretations. Come back to being yourself even more, by letting subtle layers of thought activity go, via realizing they are occurring, and instead just directly feel… aka, meditatively return attention to breathing and grounding in feeling / the body. The interpretation is what feels off, imo, not the content (excitement, said to be the object). It is as if there are four subjects there thought wise. The one actually saying it… the I that feels an I, the I that gets overwhelmed, and the excitement which is said to be other or not me, asserting upon me. Inspect… where is this excitement? Where is it coming from? What is this I which is said to be affected by it? Where is that I? The more ‘either’ is inspected in direct experience, like pointing to it, the more it is seen it’s only transpiring in the thoughts, and thus the more the activity settles, and the even-more-feeling, being, there is, and the more sensitivity there is. Feel expansively, in the body, and then outwardly. Start with an inch all around. When you really feel it, then another inch, & so on. When the bliss is too much, dial it down.

I suggest you to first start getting in actual control of what you focus your mind on, where your attention goes throughout the day and what emotion you're acting upon. Learn to choose consciously and deliberately what direction your mind is taking and you will get your hands on the wheel regarding what direction your whole life is going as well. Then, as you become 'your own boss' in regards to 'your dream', it all gets better, it's like in a lucid dream. Once you get in control by becoming more and more aware & awake, you finally start enjoying the surprises and 'easter eggs' that your cultivated surrender enables you to experience. To properly enjoy the spontaneity of life you have become your own master. That's when you're truly free. In order to surrender to 'the flow of life' you have to learn self-mastery first. Once you learn how to control it properly, then everything starts flowing smoothly & 'magically' and you get to actually relax and surrender. It's like driving a car. First, you have to master everything about how it works. The you're ready to go and enjoy the ride. That's when you truly get to enjoy the amazing, divine scenery that's in front of you. It's like walking. You are in control now, you know how to do it so you get to soak up the sun and admire the beauty and magnificence of the park as 'you' •walk the path•() as the walking 'happens by itself'. Feel the waves of bliss & "dance your dance". ❤