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Well the individual attempting to be free is an illusion. Freedom is the unconditional love for everything exactly the way it is which includes the judgments, the happiness, the fear, the confusion, the anger, the bliss..... Freedom is that free completely all inclusive. No it is not an illusion, if there is individual, trying to be free is real for him/her. Therefore, when individual loves everything there will be no more judgments, happiness, fear, confusion for the individual there will be only love there for him/her, which is the way to nothingness. Of course you can say you are already nothing. Yes it is true. However, as you mentioned above that if your house is burned or your sister is get raped, this is not even close to be nothing. These shows that your thought process is still so active. Because, you maybe never see the house burns or anyone getting raped. Just because of you learned and thought of it, therefore you suffer. So illusion is still is real for you and being free is real for you. Just an advice, Dont get me wrong but contemplate brother and meditate. This is stuff can not be learned by reading, you have to walk the path. Peace ☮️ much love !

Well the individual attempting to be free is an illusion. Freedom is the unconditional love for everything exactly the way it is which includes the judgments, the happiness, the fear, the confusion, the anger, the bliss..... Freedom is that free completely all inclusive. It's so close it seems hidden which is why Tony Parsons describes it as the Open Secret. ❤

Money and life are seen as good, and cancer and death are seen as bad for that which believes its alive. When suffering and bliss are seen as equal where can a problem arise and manifest. ❤

Oh you play with the balance. Play and play until your mind learns and basically gets molded into shape from learning that y happens when x is tweaked. For me it ended up being a very light touch of attention on the object with rather the majority of conscious power on the periphery — but then you use a sort of balancing act where you’re ready to change that balance depending on hindrances that arise. Basically, it’s incredibly 1. subtle, and 2. dynamic. Don’t be overwhelmed, this will develop in time rather automatically if you’re experiencing at least some joy/bliss and sitting an hour every single day.

Exactly, how about you ask others instead of assuming that they don't know? All I can tell you is what I know through an ego-death experience that I've had through LSD. Just imagine what it's like to exist, but you exist with no human senses. No thoughts, no feelings, no sense of touch, sight, sound, hearing, taste, smell. Lights off completely, and all that is left is your awareness. You exist but you don't exist as a human being, you exist as nothing. Your sense of self is completely non-existent. And since there's no human thoughts or feelings of suffering or needing anything, then what else could there be? People will say nothing, love, consciousness, infinity, or whatever else. But what I personally experienced through that recent experience of mine was just pure bliss. There was no memory or thought that physical life even existed, it all just disappeared as if it were just a dream that I had. How else can it be other than this? So, this is what I know. It's been a while since I've watched Leo's video on death, but I recommend that you watch it if you haven't. I believe he mentions in the video, the same exact thing that I just mentioned here.

I would recommend reading the book "The Mind Illuminated" which provides a long term road map of meditation progress across 10 progressively deeper stages of practice. As you progress across the stages, your experiences while meditating will become progressively more mystical and intrinsically rewarding. Once you're established at around stage 7 - 8, you can also start learning how to access jhana states, which are even more mystical. However it's worth mentioning this as well - as you start to reliably gain access to these mystical states with practice, their value starts to diminish. While on the one hand, it's utterly profound that the deepest states of emotional happiness and pleasure exist entirely from within, we do start to realize that this mundane, boring, fatigued, sober state as it is in this moment is just as mystical as the most profound mystical states you can achieve through meditation or even psychedelics. A mark of maturity on the path is recognizing an equilibrium across all states. This recognition of the 'divinity' of all states, all perceptions, all forms of suffering, bliss, dissatisfaction, and satisfaction, as they are, exactly as they appear, as an expression of the Absolute is where meditation practice leads in the long run. From this context, meditation is not about getting something or doing anything at all, it is merely about being exactly where you are. There is nothing to do and no where to go. Letting these profound mystical states carry you home, carry you nowhere at all is the path. I may also recommend practicing "do nothing" meditation in tandem with the techniques outlined in T.M.I., is it will help balance out some of the inevitable over-efforting goal based practice produces. When it comes to daily practice, I would establish a daily minimum, something so stupid easy you can't not do it. For me, it's 10 minutes per day. I know even when I feel my worst, I can sit down and do 10 minutes. When I first began practice, I would have made it something like 1 minute per day as my daily minimum. Daily consistency is the most important variable of practice when you're first starting out. Ideally, you want to work up to an hour per day. As far as motivation, this is why I recommend "The Mind Illuminated" as it gives you something extremely tangible to work towards while also facilitating absurdly deep states of consciousness. The skills you develop using that system will serve invaluable in pretty much all domains of life and every step along your own spiritual path. But more than that, meditation is an entry way into God, into what you really are. The amount of empowerment, fulfillment, wisdom, compassion you start to experience when being able to sit in your own being is ineffable. The skills you develop from meditation are THE keys to living a good life... Yes it's a fucking grind for the first few years. Hell maybe the first 10. But if you're serious about the work, it becomes magic, all of life becomes magic as the distinction between practice and every day life fall away. In my opinion, trust that feeling in your gut that's pulling you to turn within. The fact that we live in an age of such distraction and over-stimulation yet you feel a calling to turn your attention inward is beyond significant. It's only until you advance a long will you realize just how significant it really is. Hope this helps.

just read this jewel from nisargadatta so thought you would enjoy " When we concentrate our attention on the origin of thought, the thought process itself comes to an end; there is a stillness, which is pleasant, and again the process starts. Turning from the external world and enjoying the objectless bliss, the mind feels that the world of objects is not for it. Prior to this experience the unsatiating sense enjoyments constantly challenged the mind to satisfy them, but from the inward turn onwards then its interest in them begins to fade. Once the internal bliss is enjoyed, the external happiness will lose its charm. One who has tasted the inward bliss is naturally loving and free from envy, contented and happy with others' prosperity, friendly and innocent and free from deceit. He is full of the mystery and wonder of the bliss. One who has realised the Self could never inflict pain on other. In this way, with heartfelt love and devotion, the devotee turns to God; and when he is blessed with His vision and Grace, he feels ever happy in His presence. The constant presence establishes a virtual identity between the two. While seeking the presence of the supreme Soul, the devotee renounces all associations in his life, from the meanest to the best, and having purged his being of all associations, he automatically wins the association with the supreme Self. One who has attained to the position of unstinted emancipation will never be disliked by others, for the people themselves are the very Self-luminous soul, though ignorant of the fact. In this world of immense variety, different beings are suffering from different kinds of ailments, and yet they are not prepared to give up the physical frame, even when wailing under physical and mental pain. If this be so, then men will not be so shortsighted as to avoid their saviour, the enlightened soul. That overflowing reservoir of bliss, the beatific soul, does confer only bliss on the people by his loving light. Even the atmosphere around him heartens the suffering souls. He is like the waters of a lake that gives nourishment to the plants and trees around the brink and the grass and fields nearby. The saint gives joy and sustaining energy to the people around him. Spiritual thought is of the Highest. This seeking of the Highest is called the "first half" by the saints. A proper understanding of this results in the vision of God, and eventually matures into the certainty of the true nature of the Self in the "latter half". One who takes to the path of the spirit starts with contemplation and propitiation. It is here, for the first time, that he finds some joy in prayer and worship. At this preliminary stage he gets the company of co-aspirants. Reading of the lives and works of past incarnations of God, of rishis, of saints and sages, singing the glories of the Name, visiting temples, and a constant meditation on these result in the photic and phonic experiences of the mystic life; his desires are satisfied to an extent now. Thinking that he has had the vision of God, he intensifies his efforts of fondly remembering the name of God and His worship. In this state of the mind, the devotee quite frequently has a glimpse of his cherished Deity, which he takes to be the Divine vision and is satisfied with it. At this juncture, he is sure to come into contact with a saint. The saint, and now his preceptor, makes it plain to him that what he has had is not the Real vision, which is beyond the said experiences, and is only to be had through Self-realisation. At this point, the aspirant reaches the stage of the meditator. In the beginning, the aspirant [sadhaka] is instructed into the secrets of his own person, and of the indwelling spirit; the meaning and nature of prana, the various plexuses, and the nature and arousal of the kundalini, and the nature of the Self. Later on, he comes to know of the origin of the five elements, their activity, radiation, and merits and defects. Meanwhile his mind undergoes the process of purification and acquires composure, and this the aspirant experiences through the deep-laid subtle center of the Indweller; he also knows how and why it is there, only that the deiform element is kindled. This knowledge transforms him into the pure, eternal, and spiritual form of a Satguru who is now in a position to initiate others into the secrets of the spirit. The stage of sadhakahood ends here. As the great saint Tukarama said, the aspirant must put in ceaseless efforts in the pursuit of spiritual life. Thoughts must be utilised for Self-knowledge. He must be alert and watchful in ascertaining the nature of this "I" that is involved in the affairs of pleasure and pain arising out of sense experience. We must know the nature of the active principle lest its activities be led astray. We should not waste our energies in useless pursuits, but should use those energies in the pursuit of the Self and achieve identity with God. Spiritual life is so great, so deep, so immense, that energy pales into insignificance before it, yet this energy tries to understand it again and again. Those who try to understand it with the help of the intellect are lost to it. Rare is the one who, having concentrated on the source atom of the cosmic energy, enjoys the bliss of spiritual contemplation. But there are scores of those who take themselves to be spiritually inspired and perfect beings. They expect the common herd to honour and respect their every word. The ignorant people rush towards them for spiritual succour and do their bidding. In fact, the pseudo-saints are caught in a snare of greed, hence what the people get in return is not the blessings of satisfaction, but ashes. The self-styled man of God, speaking ad nauseum about spiritual matters, thinks himself to be perfect, but others are not so sure. As regards a saint, on the other hand, men are on the lookout for ways to serve him more and more, but as the ever contented soul, steeped in beatitude, desires nothing, they are left to serve in their own way, which they do with enthusiasm, and they never feel the pressure. Greatness is always humble, loving, silent and satisfied. Happiness, tolerance, forbearance, composure and other allied qualities must be known by everyone; just as one experiences bodily states such as hunger, thirst, etc., one. must, with equal ease, experience in oneself the characteristics connoted by the word "saint". As we know for certain that we need no more sleep, no more food, at a given moment, so too we can be sure of the above characteristics from direct experience. One can then recognise their presence in others with the same ease. This is the test and experience of a tried spiritual leader. "

@martins name Ah okay. Hope you get better! Thank you for the summary. ”1. Happiness is non-duality. It's important to know this experientially. Love and appreciate it wherever it's found.” I can see how it’s important to know this experientially. But it sounds really hard to do. What practices would you recommend to experience it? And how do you love and appreciate it wherever it is found? Where is it found? ”2. Open your second chakra, it's the ability to enjoy, feel pleasure and passion and to be connected with life. When you suppress desire you can feel a somatic contraction in your lower back and you go into a subtily painful and fearful state. It makes you feel separate from life which is dualistic. That's not a quality of an enlightened being. Bliss is the road to God.” Thanks martin. I will practice doing the techniques on your pleasure chakra post.

Have you started seeing the futility of this grand, bottomless project of trying to make yourself happy and secured? Has it worked? Are you completely at ease, bliss, secured, without fear and anxiety? If not, what's the percentage of progress you made in this grand project over your 10-20-30-40-50 years of lifetime? Do you see the impossibility of this game which is rigged against you? Why do you even try? Why do you still believe you can make yourself happy, secured, fulfilled permanently? Why not simply acknowledge and accept the utter fragility of yourself? Happiness and wellbeing is NOT something you deserve. When did you buy into this bullshit story? Have you lost your mind? Just look at you! If you were a Greek god with a lifetime of 10 billion years, who knows no physical or mental exhaustion, who possesses immense prowess and can survive even a planetary destruction; it would be rational to claim that such a being has legit high chance of deserving and claiming happiness, well being and permanent security. On the other hand look at you! How fragile and vulnerable you are! It takes a zillion things in proper place in your environment and psycholology to make a moment of respite for you while a minor little thing like a virus, temperature, gravity, accident, discomforting thought, tough emotion can legit screw you over. It takes like 15-20 years of healthy childhood, education and environment to have a decent, high esteemed self, while only one traumatic event or imagination can plant a deep imprint in you and screw you over badly for life! Can you simply let go and accept your vulnerability? Can you let go of this impossible project and assumption that you can actually secure yourself? Can you totally accept your fate for having pain, grief, fear, depression as your usual and natural condition and simply stop trying to make it otherwise? Just look at you trying so hard to build and maintain your sand castles in midst of a gigantic Tsunami. See how easy it is to disturb you and your fickle boundaries.. What happens if you simply give up on chasing this impossible dream? You are already bound to be screwed, right? How worse can it be? Maybe a new dimension will open up if you simply give up and accept your fate?

Wise; ^^ that is true in a sense — but get this, it is for that reason that the real power comes with the ability to produce as much joy (or bliss; peace; etc) as you want at any time. You don’t need to maintain anything! Also, there’s wholesome joy that has no cost in the way you describe — in fact it invigorates you further. And the following may be a bit harder to accept: even the lows can be appreciated and even enjoyed, in a way, for what they are, basically every bit as much as the highs.

There is no life in nirvana, just the moment, not being identified with the thoughts. You move with the moment therefore there is no movement nor you. If you want name the feeling as bliss, you can however as soon as you name it, it aint nirvana, because with naming And labeling self is still there because it comes from the so called mind.

Obviously, by definition. But I was directly answering your question, not making a general claim; you entirely misunderstood my point: Imagine being so imperturbably happy, at peace, and overflowing with causeless joy, that you no longer dream of wasting time thinking about getting more of it, since at any time, you can have as much of it as you want. If you think that’s not possible, well you’re simply about as far off as you could possibly be. Happiness is your nature and your birthright. Q: "...what's the percentage of progress you made in this grand project..." A: Immeasurably vast; total. If you are uninterested in as much bliss as you want, any time you want it, that's perfectly fine -- I can totally understand and respect that. Maybe you genuinely don't care about it, and that seriously is great! But IF the only reason you're uninterested is that you believe it's not possible for you? Well, all I'm doing is suggesting that's simply a false belief.

@preventingdiabetes @preventingdiabetes@preventingdiabetes I tried to last year but my physical health is too bad to be able to sit still for that amount of time without destroying my back. Maybe one day I'll try again when I've built up some finances and health. I'd like to summarize what I've been trying to communicate in my previous posts: 1. Happiness is non-duality. It's important to know this experientially. Love and appreciate it wherever it's found. 2. Open your second chakra, it's the ability to enjoy, feel pleasure and passion and to be connected with life. When you suppress desire you can feel a somatic contraction in your lower back and you go into a subtily painful and fearful state. It makes you feel separate from life which is dualistic. That's not a quality of an enlightened being. Bliss is the road to God.

Life is harder than just bliss. Some of us can't just go 'straight to bliss'. That makes no sense.

Doing more could look like following your bliss instead, for if you follow that which makes you happy, well you will be happier, and if something is relevant for you to look at in terms of past traumas etc, it will appear to you along the way. If you look at trauma from a blissful state, it's quite easy to dissolve, if you look at it from a not so blissful state, in general one simply start seeing more and more and more trauma and feels overwhelmed and trapped inside a life determined by event they didn't choose to experience and starts seeing how it affects them now in relationships or whatever, etc. So yeah, just do what makes you happy in each moment (it doesn't have to be big things, it can look like eating chocolate or going for a walk).

As long as there’s stillness, transformation, bright alertness, and bliss, you don’t need to tweak anything you’re currently doing — otherwise, you perhaps could. Researching the jhanas can be useful if you come across any sticking points or profound states that scare you and render you unsure of how to proceed — Daniel Ingram gets into probably the most technical detail of anyone; Rob Burbea provided complete info on it as well. Many other sources for kundalini progression. The gist of it can be found in Culadasa’s TMI. Keep on doing your practice though. Sounds like it’s going very well. Tailoring and tweaking your practice with increasing subtlety is the name of the game; a very beautiful part of practice. Perhaps begin with openness, and then develop each of the following: steadiness, sensitivity, patience, and play.

I made the mistake last autumn and started to basically force myself to do kriya sessions with a 'kill-the-ego' Jed McKenna'esque zeal. Did like 1h+ sessions. At first tried to be strict but then started to explore the technique and let intuition guide through it. Then learned some tidbits from SantataGamanas books. Breathing and focusing solely on point between eyebrows (head chakra) and 'knocking' on it with 6 oms every in and out breath. But I freestyled it and started to switch between head and crown chakra which had an orgasmic effect to it, pure bliss, but it was not lasting, and some sessions felt really painful emotionally, like I was going crazy inside before I came to that point. Finished sessions with yoni mudra, also recklessly focusing on crown chakra. I later learned that going too quickly towards crown can have serious negative effects. Throws your energy off balance, basically too much upper chakras focus and not enough lower chakras or something like that. Then again it produced some natural highs I can compare to peak psych experiences (ego death, 'falling into void or sky' that was very similar to 5meo breakthrough, and also energy focused on abdominal area and a powerful sense that I am the devil and that I had all the power of the world like I'm going to get what I want no matter the consequences - kind of stuff) right after yoni mudra (also done recklessly, I think like 3 yoni mudras in a row focused on crown chakra after having done 1h of pranayama got me those peaks) but more 'clean' so to speak, but still fleeting as I feel kriya can get you to peak states very quickly, but unless you deliberately remain there then it wont have much effect outside sessions. Negative side effects started coming, I did a deep dive into experimenting with kriya after 5meo breakthrough. But I started to feel extremely depressed, lots of mood swings, and weird bodily sensations, like a cracked out feeling in my head, etc. But also very profound peace, and ineffable states of pure bliss outside of kriya sessions in daily life aswell. But it was too uncontrolled, very rollercoastery with my emotional state, i started to become disfunctional with work, took a brake from school, made an irrational decision to move cities during covid and leave old study-career plan behind without much financial security, ended up as a bolt delivery driver for a fee months before returning). I went down some really really bad places emotionally, like 10/10 nihilistic depression holes. But they passed when I somehow accepted these places. And finally I stopped kriya sessions because I needed to start recovering from the symptoms which had become so unbearable I was basically suicidal for most of time. In hindsight I'd say I developed Kundalini syndrome symptoms and aggravated them further by forcing myself to do kriya even when i didnt feel like it. And being too reckless with it. And I let my daily life go through a rollercoaster, basically 1 year wasted i that regard, but lots of peaks and downs, lots of wisdom gathered. Lots of wisdom about the negatives of spiritual work mostly, and what can happen if you take it too quickly too far without having basic needs met and a healthy ego to begin with (finances, social life, sex, etcetc) but it waa covid and I was sick of life so whatever, guess i needed to smack my head against the wall until I decided to begin actually loving myself. Tbh I now kind of understand what probably Connor Murphy has gone through, I feel similar streaks of manic unhinged creativity but I can always control whether or not I let them amok or not. Anyways, lessons from me to you - intuitively working on it good, but don't stray from technique too much, mb they just need time and practice. Probably don't abuse yoni mudra and crown chakra, also kriya supreme fire is abuseable if you have heard from it. Heart chakra, good to focus on (read more from books about this). Also don't neglect basic needs etcetc. And probably the best advice from this response of mine - learn to actually enjoy and love kriya sessions (rather than force yourself to do it). But if your practice doesn't do much for you yet then maybe you need more gasoline to feed the flames so-to-speak (experiment with more powerful techniques, variations), just dont overdo it and learn when to stop. As far as books to have a much better understanding of kriya techniques and stuff read SantataGamanas books on it and def Ennio Nimis' book aswell. To counterbalance them if you do get some negative symptoms then Tara Springett is your gal to turn to (Enlightenment through the Path of Kundalini, Healing Kundalini Syndrome, Higher Consciousnes Healing books). Basically she's no1 person a jhana junkie crackhead like me needed to get myself out of this. But yeah, TLDR kriya yoga works, and doing it your own way is good, but best to read more, to make sure you arent making mistakes and fucking up your energy body.

Believe it or not, I actually agree with both of you. There is no external "goal" of a blissful state. It's about recognizing the bliss that's already available.

Oh yeah you wouldn’t pray like that unless you believed in a God outside of you. No such God exists. You are God (or there’s no you, only God), but if you haven’t recognized that, prayer can be used. Inquire into who it is that’s praying — that’s God wearing the ego mask. The point of prayer at the highest level is realization of union with God / lack of separation between you and God. Because if God exists, you are God, since God by the definition I’m referring to has no other. The means by which this happens is complete and utter stillness of mind. You may want to become skilled in meditation first, but really they’re kind of the same thing as long as you can produce at least some modest level of well-being at will (getting to that point is the hardest part so don’t worry, it’s normal if you can’t already) — this enables less restlessness and more stillness, which produces more pleasure, which produces more stillness, and so on to an inflection point called jhana where the bliss takes off exponentially and you feel so unimaginably good you basically won’t even believe it — it’s a different order of well-being; shocking, even. Then it’s all over — you’ll never search for happiness primarily outside yourself again. I’ve heard credible rumors that jhana may not be for everyone, but the important thing is bliss-on-demand, and that is in fact available to everyone with a bit of practice.

@m0hsen And progressing in jhana is about releasing attachment to the current level — the later Jhanas basically have no room for physical pleasure because it’s old news — it’s recognized that the ultimate reason you like the pleasure is the peace it provides, and then you essentially absorb into pure peace, which interestingly is immeasurably more sublime than pure pleasure. Though you can always revisit earlier Jhanas. You generally pass through each one distinctly on the way up and down — known as the jhanic arc. Letting that arc flow naturally is the best way to practice them. With great skill you can enter into specific jhanas without having to follow the arc, but again the best way to practice is to let them progress naturally: i.e. the mind naturally begins to sense that the overwhelming exhilarating body buzz of 1st jhana is less sublime than the bliss itself produced by that exhilaration and so it absorbs into the blissful happiness of 2nd jhana like a warm bath (ecstasy/exhilaration now in the background); then mind begins to tire still of the overwhelming orgasmic exhilaration and so turns away from it entirely, giving way to pure happiness completely divested of bodily-exhilaration (3rd jhana), which is almost certainly not something humans are capable of outside of jhana. Abandon pleasure for peace itself (4th), abandon materiality; space; consciousness; nothingness; perception-landing (8th)... Even 1st jhana will knock your socks off though, so don’t worry about the later ones. The best word for 1st jhana is probably YEE HAW!! ? ?

@DrewNows Yeah my habits are terrible, i'm banking on these neo advaita teachers paying off but i'm not so sure at this point even though I do think i'm progressing. The thing is, I know how deep a singular meditation session can be, albeit with psychidelics. I have felt so deeply into the sensations of my head that it literally wipes out suffering and leads to tremendous bliss and perceptual shifts. This stuff didn't come from clear eneergy, or life style changes... it was singular times of deeply sinking into the now and letting go of thinking and just focusing on being aware and conscious. I was thinking of working with a guy who talks about healing your inner child, I think of it as basically working on undoing your conditioning you got from your parents

Had my first experience of God on LSD in April and this song was playing in my headphones at the time (Sea of voices by Porter robinson). Earlier that day I'd taken one tab of LSD and about 8 hours had gone by at this point. I had some small insights during the lsd experience but nothing crazy. I smoked a little weed with some friends thinking that the trip was over. It wasn't. Once the weed hit my system it knocked the wind out of my lungs. I got an intense feeling that I should be alone in a dark, quiet place. I told my friends that I was being called to be alone and I went into an empty bedroom with my meditation cushion. I sat down on the cushion and waited. The room glowed and colors were vibrant. I looked at the large California king bed in front of me with its large solid oak frame. The lines in the wood wiggled and swirled around in a pretty way. Then all of a sudden the bed and I entered dharma transmission. Full on telepathy. It spoke to me directly without words and it told me its secrets. We engaged in dharma war. I don't know how to explain what that is, i don't think that there are words for this kind of thing. But essentially, I showed it my spiritual practice and it showed me how to deepen it. I deepened it, and met it on a deeper level and it showed me how to go deeper. We did this together time and time again and every time I met it on deeper levels it was happy and excited that I was able to do it! It was pleased that I was practicing this without psychedelics and that I had meditative insights without drugs. The bed and I engaged in telepathy until i was conscious enough to begin showing the bed how to go deeper and expand its understanding. It was so pleased! Suddenly my attention shifted. I looked around the room and began to notice that all of history has led me to this very moment. I saw the light come in through the blinds, the dust in the air, the little items on the bed frame and realized that everything that ever occurred in my life led me here. To this moment, in this place. I didn't know what was about to take place in the coming moments. I spent a while looking around at the room and noticing how beautiful it was. I would occasionally go into a dharma transmission (telepathy) with inanimate objects and liberate them. The world was pleased. Suddenly, Out of nowhere I put my hands in the prayer motion, It was as my body were being controlled and had no autonomy. Tears rolled down my cheeks but I didn't know why. I began to witness all of the things that I had done in my life (as a human), it passed me by in a single second yet I saw everything with profound clarity. The good and the bad, the ugly. The bad things that I had done struck me mercilessly to my very core. I felt so awful about myself and how ugly I was. Then suddenly, out of nowhere I bow as hard as I can. I pressed my face against the floor so hard I nearly broke my jaw. Then it happened to me. God. GOD. GOD!!! IT took one look at all of my ugliness, evil, self hatred, pity, envy, jealousy and all the things that make me terrible and before I could even speak a word, I was immediately forgiven. I let out a cry so hard it was as if I'd never breathed air before. I let out all the air in my lungs in a single breath I cried so hard. I've never felt acceptance like that. I didn't know love like that was even possible. I couldn't see God, I could only see white light but I knew it was there, just out of view. I dared not look, it was far too Holy to even dream of looking at directly. The divinity was so intense that I didn't' dare to even breathe. I let out all the air in my lungs and choked...then before I passed out, It breathed life into me and I breathed it out...choked till i almost passed out...etc. As I was nearly passing out again and again, it was pure ecstacy. Choking and nearly dying again and again was pure bliss. When I thought it couldn't get any better, a feeling came over me that said 'look at me!' and I looked up and I saw God Directly. I was shocked to my core. It wasn't a man in the clouds, not a ruler, a king, or a transcendent being. It was a bed, a blanket, the sun coming in through the blinds, the carpet, the walls. It was physical reality. I looked down at my hands, and saw that I was also it. I looked at my hands and saw that they were made of the same material as everything else. Suddenly I became one with the fabric of reality. I was alone, as my Self. No more tears, no more divinity, no more special-ness, just I AM. A thought appeared that said 'What is it?' and my attention focused so hard on a point in space, smaller than an atom. I focused so hard, yet effortlessly till space and time itself broke open and what was there? What was I made of? Nothing at all....NOTHING. Emptiness. Forever. I laughed harder than I'd ever laughed in my life. Of course its nothing! How could I have ever forgotten this?

@DrewNows I have a question for you. How come simply being aware isn't enough to bring happiness and bliss? I think I clearly understand the neo advaita teaching of bring attention to the simplicity of being aware or being conscious at all. And I can notice some energetic shifts when I do this, but I still haven't reached LSD levels of clarity and bliss, even though I'm pretty sure I am doing the techniques properly.

@Blackhawk terrifying the first time. Then after surrendering your life, completely extacy and bliss.

Agreed. Some of my best psychedelic trips came about when I completely let go of expecting any sort of experience and resulted in feeling bliss and euphoria on levels that were so incredibly powerful in my body that it almost felt unfair. I like reading and watching videos about all of this stuff, but sometimes I find myself digging too much or even just trying to digest too much at a time and is no longer enjoyable. I get back to the basics once I notice that happening.