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Beatiful way of describing it! I know the feeling ? Beatiful as fuck but at the same time radical and a bit disturbing haha, reality/you is pure magic. Almost feels like melting, everything becomes you and not you and everything in between, bliss

Hey Guys, This is my first post on here but I will give you guys a little background on myself. I have been feeling a profound feeling of connection with the universe since I was about 16. I started noticing distinct feelings of change in my energy, which would directly change the reality around me, synchronicities etc.. I never completely devoted my life to the pursuit of these answers but it would always be at the forefront of my mind. I was in the military for a while which kept me pretty limited as far as pursuit of this knowledge and dabbling with different ideas that I had about them, but it taught me a lot of lessons in other fields. I got out of the military in February of 2020 and currently own a Real Estate Investment business to sustain my human needs for money and resources, but I have always wanted to reach my full universal potential, and I never thought that materialism or anything similar was the way I would do that (maybe the pooling of money and resources could help me REACH that potential through leverage, but not be the potential itself). Anyways, I'd like to briefly touch on two major "awakenings" as they call them that I have had since February of 2020. I just watched Leo's video on God Realization and after my second experience, I have no doubt in my mind that I am God, and my lack of Omnipotence and Omnipresence are simply me removing the power from myself. I will go into more detail on the actual experiences I have had that led me to believe this. So let's start with the first story. My Ex-Girlfriend and I had just started dating. She was my first love and the first two months of being with her were BY FAR the most blissful two months of my life. Like I had mentioned before, I had always noticed that when my energy shifted (what people might call a "higher vibration"), that I noticed a LOT more synchronicities, signs etc.. So when my Ex and I first started dating, these were actually ridiculously profound. I would be walking passed people at the grocery store and they would finish my sentence for me with their passing conversation, I would be having an internal dialogue and some funny scenario that I was thinking of would happen right in front of me. Things like this would constantly happen. I started to feel in tune with the universe and at the time, it felt like I had truly connected with the Divine Feminine, and there was even a point where her and I were having sex where I thought "if I finish, the universe is literally going to implode and reset" because I thought it was the most bliss that could ever be created and that it would be the "grand finale of the play" per se. Anyways, we had been dating for about 2 months and I had just gotten officially out of the Army. I am with the love of my life, I am finally out of the military, I have money, and I am ready to start my business. I am feeling the highest energy I had ever felt in my life. I start to feel like song lyrics are all speaking to me, and I get this intense urge to go to New York City. It's Valentine's Day and my Ex and I are spending the day together, we have a good time but the synchronicities are getting so intense at this point that I must be sounding like a crazy person to anyone not understanding what's happening. If I had to explain it, I would say that it felt like everyone was part of a giant hive mind and they were all apart of this story that I was creating. Anyways, I am just going with the flow at this point and we have Valentine's Dinner, and decide to invite my friend along because his wife is overseas. This is where I get the bright idea to ask all 3 of them if they want to drive to New York in the middle of the night. They, for whatever reason, agree. We meet up about an hour later to drive to New York. Pay attention to these details, because they will become important later for the point I am trying to make. As we're driving, there's this feeling in the air that my friend is "in on it", that being all of the synchronicities and universal connections, and that my Ex wasn't. This part of the story I have a hard time remembering because it was so long ago but it was as if my friend was guiding me through this spiritual journey, but the thing is, it was really like a Hive-Mind scenario because he would shift from not understanding anything, to speaking as if he had complete awareness of all of the concepts I would bring up. My Ex just seemed to be completely oblivious to everything but her innocence was so cute to me and I wanted to help her grow so she could be "enlightened" along side of me. Anyways, something I will mention briefly, is that she kept jokingly talking about police and calling them "coppers" and I would overhear her saying they're going to give us a problem on the way back. Well a lot of stuff happened in between this, but to save some time, on our way back from New York, we get pulled over. There's a TON more to this story if anyone wants to private message me about it, it's just too much to put here. So anyways, after I get pulled over, I was actually put into a mental hospital, because of the things I was saying, but I was really just having a spiritual experience, I am convinced of this. I had lived 22 years up to this point without experiencing anything remotely close to mental illness, and have lived almost 2 years since without anything happening (until this next story). The next story is about 2 months after my Ex and I broke up, which was exactly a month ago from when I am writing this post. I decided to book an Ayahuasca retreat at Arkana Spiritual Center in the Amazon of Peru. There's probably a lot that I will leave out of this story but bear with me. As soon as I get to the hotel for the Introductory Meeting, all of the people I meet seem so familiar. It's like I have known them forever. I start to notice all of these synchronicities just like what happened before. This is before any of us have even touched Ayahuasca. So we get to the retreat and it starts to get more and more intense, this feeling of connectedness with the universe. Finally, I take my first and only cup of Ayahuasca that I drank the entire week. During this ceremony I came to the solid conclusion that everything is one, and that this physical reality we live in isn't everything. I didn't exactly know immediately what this knowledge meant, but I decided to let it marinate, so I didn't drink ANY more Ayahuasca for the rest of the retreat. I started to dabble with the idea that my conscious mind is so much more powerful than I had originally thought. I would manifest things happening to me in almost real-time, within a certain level of realism. I noticed that things I would try to manifest, like a fireball in my hand, or something of that nature, was impossible to me because I still had self-doubt of the possibility of it. However, if I created a scenario that was plausible, like dinner getting done right when I started to think about it, that it was possible, and it WAS manifesting a good majority of the time. So I start to play with this concept and achieve very intense results. I even tested my consciousness when we did the Sapo ceremony (5-MEO DMT). I had set the intention after the first ceremony that I have come to terms with being an infinite consciousness and all of that, but for now, I would like to test what I am capable of in my human manifestation. I decided that I would put things to the test by trying to smoke the 5-MEO DMT without falling backwards and seeing patterns and all of that. When I went into the ceremony I had this intense confidence that I would be able to smoke it and just stay the same, because I felt like I had willed the fact that I am as far enlightened as I want to be at the time. Well of course, I smoke the DMT, and I had been doing a lot of breathwork throughout the week so I was able to get a REALLY GOOD inhale, I hold it in for as long as I can, I breath out and look at the facilitator and tell him "I can control this", granted I had some slight dizziness, but I stood up immediately and walked out of the room, and what substituted any "DMT Effects" as I had previously heard about them, was what I can only explain as complete God-Realization. I had no visuals, I was able to stand completely normally and walk around, as a matter of fact it felt like all of the noise dropped and I was able to finally talk to my true godly self. I look around and KNOW, not think, but really KNOW that I created all of this. It didn't feel like I was an extension of god, as I had envisioned it when thinking about everyone being "One". No, I KNEW that I was God, like God with a capital G. It's funny because after watching Leo's video about God-Realization, this completely encapsulates what I thought at the time. I said to myself "Yeah, I get it, I'm God, but I kinda like being human right now, and being the only one is kinda lonely and scary, so I'd rather work on becoming really powerful as a human, so let's go back down for now". Of course, I ground myself after a few minutes, get some lunch, and damn if that wasn't the tastiest lunch I'd had in a minute. I am feeling so good at this point and feel like I have my purpose figured out. I decide that I am going to paint this picture for my human life and go for it, because it's my story, why wouldn't it work out? I decided I was going to find my soul mate (at this point in time I was convinced I would awaken my ex girlfriend and get back with her) and we were going to push our human limits together. I wanted to learn how to maximize my consciousness, discover new abilities that I might be able to unlock, etc.. Basically I had this fantasy of my Ex and I just conquering the Universe together (like the actual universe, interplanetary type shit). I still think this is all possible by the way, I just think my self-imposed limits are currently stopping me from being able to right now. The retreat ends and here's the weirdest thing that happens that, I think proves a point that I'd like to talk about at the end. When we get back from the retreat, the people at the hotel tell me I had "Cocaine and Hookers in my room", and for that reason I could not stay, this was obviously not true by the way, but you'll just have to take my word for that. After that, some of the facilitators take me to a room in a different hotel, and they ask me about the cocaine and hookers, and then they accuse me of buying drugs from this tour guide who was showing me around Iquitos before I got to the retreat. It all seemed to be trying to paint this picture that I was doing something bad and that I wasn't in my right mind. Well, I hadn't done any substances for 4 days at this point! I smoked Sapo on Wednesday and we left the retreat on a Saturday. I was completely in my right mind but everyone around me was acting super weird. Those 2 accusations were the first weird thing that happened, then it seemed like everyone at any hotel, store, restaurant etc.. was behaving like what you'd picture a broke robot to behave like. For example, we would talk to them and they would just seem so confused and would communicate in such a peculiar way. I start to get this paranoia, but rightly so at this point, people have accused me of things I didn't do, and people are acting very strange. Skip to a couple days later, I get to the airport and things are WACKED OUT at this point. It feels like time is non-existent, it feels like everyone around me is a bot trying to keep me from getting back home, and there were things happening that supported that. These airport employees were just staring off into space for MINUTES AT A TIME until I looked them dead in the eyes and willed them to respond to me. People were just standing around the airport looking more confused than I've ever seen a person look. I got to the place to turn in my boarding pass and the lady just started scribbling on my paper and gave it back to me. Nothing made sense. The times on the clocks kept changing from 1730 to 1530 to 1230, it was like I was in this timeless zone that didn't make sense anymore. I honestly felt like I broke reality. Anyways, as I get on the plane and start to feel this intense pain in my body, and I have never been a christian but I felt the need to scream to god and ask him for help, it was this image I had of a christian god and "the light" and it felt like I was dying right there on the airplane and the only thing that could save me was telling everyone to come to the light on the airplane. So obviously I get kicked off of this airplane, and at some point one of the facilitators that was with me slipped a Xanax in my drink and that was the start of my Descent from this insanely high level of consciousness (obviously too high for me to handle at the time). Taking this back to the God-Realization though. I genuinely think that as God, I have a fail-safe for when I start to learn too much too fast, and that's what has happened in both of those scenarios. Now there's self-doubt about my true power. Am I crazy and that was all a "psychotic break" or am I God and I briefly got a glimpse of some of my power? I guess the story will tell. All I know is that I remember too much of it for any of it to be a coincedence. None of what I am saying was a hallucination. These were real people that I knew from the retreat. I am not sure about hallucinations but I don't think you can hallucinate a real persons lips to move and speak to you in a way that they did. I never heard voices, never saw things that weren't there. This is all reality around me that I interpreted in a certain way. I guess my question here is, has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this? Has anyone figured out how to stay up and not get taken back down by the "fail-safes"? Anyone have a take on what happened to me? I know if the God-Realization concept is true, which I think it is, I am just talking to myself, but it's part of the fun to interact with "other people" to gain ideas haha. Anyways, hope everyone has a good night!

Mahakali's origin is contained in various Puranic and Tantric Hindu Scriptures (Shastra). In these, she is variously portrayed as the Adi-Shakti-Goddess Durga, the Primeval Force of the Universe, identical with the Ultimate Reality or Brahman. She is also known as the (female) Prakriti or World as opposed to the (male) Purusha or Consciousness, or as one of three manifestations of Mahadevi Durga (The Great Goddess) that represent the three Gunas or attributes in Samkhya philosophy. In this interpretation Mahakali represents Tamas or the force of inertia. A common understanding of the Devi Mahatmya ("Greatness of the Goddess") text, a later interpolation into the Markandeya Purana, considered a core text of Shaktism (the branch of Hinduism which considers Devi Durga to be the highest aspect of Godhead), assigns a different form of the Goddess (Mahasaraswati, Mahalakshmi, and Mahakali) to each of the three episodes therein. Here Mahakali is assigned to the first episode. She is described as an abstract energy, the yoganidra of Vishnu. Brahma invokes her and she emerges from Vishnu and he awakens. She is the Goddess of time. Her ten headed (dashamukhi) image is known as the 10 Mahavidyas Mahakali, and in this form she is said to represent the ten Mahavidyas or "Great Wisdom (Goddess)s". She is sometimes shown sitting on a flaming grave or a rotting corpse. Her complexion is described as that of the night sky, devoid of stars. She is depicted in this form as having ten heads, thirty flaming eyes, ten arms, and ten legs but otherwise usually conforms to the four armed icon in other respects. Each of her ten hands is carrying an implement which varies in different accounts, but each of these represent the power of one of the Devas or Hindu Gods and are often the identifying weapon or ritual item of a given Deva. The implication is that Mahakali subsumes and is responsible for the powers that these deities possess and this is in line with the interpretation that Mahakali is identical with Brahman. While not displaying ten heads, an "ekamukhi" or one headed image may be displayed with ten arms, signifying the same concept: the powers of the various Gods come only through her grace. In either one of these images she is shown standing on the prone, inert body of Shiva. This is interpreted in various ways but the most common is that Mahakali represents Shakti, the power of pure creation in the universe, and Shiva represents pure Consciousness which is inert in and of itself. While this is an advanced concept in monistic Shaktism, it also agrees with the Nondual Trika philosophy of Kashmir, popularly known as Kashmir Shaivism and associated most famously with Abhinavagupta. There is a colloquial saying that "Shiva without Shakti is Shava" which means that without the power of action (Shakti) that is Mahakali (represented as the short "i" in Devanagari) Shiva (or consciousness itself) is inactive; Shava means corpse in Sanskrit and the play on words is that all Sanskrit consonants are assumed to be followed by a short letter "a" unless otherwise noted. The short letter "i" represents the female power or Shakti that activates Creation. This is often the explanation for why she is standing on Shiva, who is her husband in Shaktism, and also the Supreme Godhead in Shaivism. Another understanding is that the wild destructive Mahakali can only stop her fury in the presence of Shiva the God of Consciousness, so that the balance of life is not completely overrun over by wild nature. In Kashmir Shaivism the highest form of Kali is Kalasankarshini who is nirguna, formless and is often show as a flame above the head of Guhya Kali the highest gross form of Kali. In Nepali Newar arts, both form and formless attributes of Kali is often envisioned in a single art form showing the hierarchy of goddesses in their tradition. In it Guhyakali image culminates in flame, with Kalasankarshini, the highest deity in the sequence, who consumes time within herself and is envisioned solely as a flame representing Para Brahman. She is like a divine actress in her own universal play who assumes the form/role of Sristi Kali, Rakta Kali, Yama Kali, Samhara Kali, Mrityu Kali, Rudra Kali, Mahakaala Kali, Paramaraka Kali, Kalagnirudra Kali, Martanda Kali, Sthitinasha Kali and Mahabhairavaghorachanda Kali who is none other than Kalasankarshini Kali Break me in don’t break me down Swimming in these empty towns I wonder if it’s all some master plan Diving into sweeter bliss Fallin’ before we miss Taste the taste before it’s gone and you’re too late Won’t change what I am To find who you are Can’t stay in these lines When I’m bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream I could be anything Param Brahma (Sanskrit: परब्रह्म, romanized: parabrahma) in Hindu philosophy is the "Supreme Brahman" that which is beyond all descriptions and conceptualisations. It is described as the formless (in the sense that it is devoid of Maya) that eternally pervades everything, everywhere in the universe and whatever is beyond. Param Brahma is conceptualised in diverse ways. In the Advaita Vedanta tradition, the Param Brahma is a synonym of nirguna brahman, i.e., the attribute-less Absolute. Para is a Sanskrit word that means "higher" in some contexts, and "highest or supreme" in others. Brahman in Hinduism connotes the Absolute, the Ultimate Reality in the universe. In major schools of Hindu philosophy it is the material, efficient, formal and final cause of all that exists. Brahman is a key concept found in the Vedas and is extensively discussed in the early Upanishads and in Advaita Vedanta literature.

@Tim R I can give an example. During a bunch of psych trips I've managed to clear my nasal passage of whatever is blocking it. It feels like someone is cracking and disfiguring my nose when I feel into the sensation, and then at a certain point my nose goes from congested to completely cleared and I get in touch with waves of bliss in every breathe. I can't speak for every health problems, but I am almost certain that in the case of someone like Leo it is directly related. I've had stomach problems as well my whole life and on psych trips the peaks always come with a certain cleansing of the stomach and other parts of the body. Did you know you can literally cleanse nausea and headaches completely from the system if you feel into the proper energy channels? And whatever guy you worked with wasn't that advanced in his practice if he had serious health problems like that.

The guy hasn't even cleared his nasal passage from the congestion associated with the suffering. Amateur. This guy's a devil imo. There's bliss to be had in every breathe and he aint getting it yet

There is something scary and non appealing in your discourse. It basically match the modern athetistic narrative because: 1. Since there are something called Cessation where 0 consciousness happens, it is logit to assume that that is what will happen after we die, forever. 2. It reduces God and Love insights to temporary and interemdiate levels. They are not ultimate reality. They are basically fireworks that occur in your mind, as a modern atheist would say. I know that your permanent 24/7 experience is incredibly bliss but what you say sounds fucking depressing from outside haha.

It is good to eradicate thourghts, but the most profound way to do it is, by entering samadhi states of consciousness. Samadhi is also referred to as “concentration”, and it bring the senses to a complete still. That it may happen through a state of bliss and divine love.

@nistake I'm a big fan of loch kelly, I really liked his effortless mindfulness pointers. But even he fails to really nail down what it means for effortless mindfulness to transform your experience of the body, and how energetic blocks get released. I really wish I could talk to Loch 1-1, but he's too big at this point. Like I have a clear understanding of loch's teachings, and I can follow him step for step, but it's still no where near where I can reach with psychidelics. One of my favorite pointers is, what's here now when there's no problem to solve. And it really points to the sensations and feelings of the body. But then there's still the process of going from this here now, to this feeling like bliss and the energetic knots of the body being released

For me who is on a feeling, loving, surrendering to life path, I deeply resonate with Anna. Just listening to her and looking into her eyes, I often have crazy shivers and profound shifts in consciousness, with intense emotional releases and bliss states. In my opinion It is not what she says that matters the most, but her energy and presence.

Well, here we go again... may I present my personal all time favorite ego death hymn: (Make sure to put on part 2 right after this video - it's a shame that you cannot find the whole thing as one long video on Youtube anymore..) No other composer expressed that melting point where yearning and fulfillment, pain and bliss, agony and ecstasy all merge into one big rapture so vividly and passionately through music as Richard Wagner did!

Of course I’m focusing on the bad stuff of the spiritual work here on purpose as I want people to really be aware of the dangers but every time you finally overcome one of your demons, you will feel bliss. You’ll feel the quality of your life improve a lot, you will have a big relief until the next demon you’ll have to face.. The spiritual process is like vomiting really, the second before vomiting is awful the moment you vomit is awful. The second that follows the vomiting is bliss ^^ but warning not to vomit too much as you can find yourself in hell choking

Dear actualized family, Long story short - I have been doing consciousness work for over 5 years and one of my trusted sources on the topic of enlightenment, self-development and spirituality has been Actualized.org. During the last weeks I have had a breakthrough in consciousness resulting in apparently miraculous healing abilities. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Which is why my value proposition is very simple - I offer to you and your loved ones as a showing of my infinite love instant remote healing. This loving energy cures both physical and emotional diseases and symptoms - all pain disappears in seconds and warm pure bliss envelops your whole being. As a concurring ability I am able to scan and permanently raise your level of consciousness (as per Hawkins' scale of consiousness). From my perspective this is the easiest thing in the world - all I have to do is concentrate for 5 seconds and healing occurs. All you have to do is say to whom you which the healing (no names, pictures or other info required) and whether you wish your LOC to be raised. E.g. "Please heal me and my mother and raise my LOC." I will reply to your post after the healing is complete and LOC scanned and raised. I will post the number of your LOC too if you wish. All I ask in return is a so called "trip report" for feedback I have a special offer for @Leo Gura - as I have watched almost all of your videos I am aware of your health condition (SIBO, chronic fatigue) I offer you 100% guarantee that the healing alleviates your suffering! All my love to you dear friends,

Dont bother, is useless. I watched a lot of leos videos, did lots of Psychedelics, a lot of them i stopepd myself to even have fun (like putting music during the trip) so i could Focus on awareness trying to get enlightened. Did too lots of Boring meditations and self inquiry which really never solved Any of my problems (except one single awakening with self inquiry which lasted 1 day and i was at peace) Im not saying God aint real or awakening is not posible, It clealry IS for some genetic freaks. But not for 99% of people. So chances are, you are going to waste your time, energy, and hopes pursuing something that anyways you Will have when you die. I advice you to focus on material achievements (this includes making your mind more calm and powerful sure) and forget Any Hope of trying to achieve satisfaction , happiness, or Bliss, just because.

@Strangeloop Hahaha, I like how you shifted gears real quick from "yeah, a bunch of demons entered of demons" to "focus on material development". It's not meditation in particular which lead me to this today, or what lead me to my experience 2 days ago of focus on nothingness. What it was, was that a conversation with a friend of mine where I talked about my feelings revealed something to me I had been ignoring/denying to trying to forget. At the age of about 13, I had some crisis of faith about Islam ( the religion I grew up). I went on a rollercoaster of belief and disbelief. I would stare at the ceiling at night and be in terror, contemplating the prospect of living forever in Heaven. When in belief, I felt very mystically high and in bliss. But I eventually realised Islam was false, logically and morally, and went into a depression about it. That crisis of faith and meaning, it's remained unresolved. "It left a massive hole in me ontologically". One year ago I had a random seeing of Absolute Nothingness, but I ran away. My entire life, I've spent it distracting myself from this "hole". I've spent it distracting myself from this nihilism and nothingness, despite those things being so palpable in experience. That I exist at all! That is insanity inducing enough! Stark, raving mad. Don't you feel it too? But I denied and ignored that feeling, trying to make myself forget. The only bigger insanity than that though is the pretending I'm not insane. And so, it was the realisation that I run away from myself that induced all this, not meditation. A psychological breakdown, I have no sanity left, although I can give the appearance of it to others somehow. I think it's maybe because I simply don't wish to talk to anyone, that would be self defeating if I'm trying to reclaim all authority to myself and be an adult, and stop projecting. I'm on a journey from absolutely nowhere to no thing; life is pointless. Urinate on everything sacred. Enlightenment is a myth, everything is false. Even if it's futile, I'll keep going, because it's the same either way

A still mind. Yet while the recognition I speak of is bliss, it’s not a bliss that anyone feels. There just is bliss. The existential questions that plague the mind can drop. Am I a good person? / Am I on the right path? There’s no need for that at all.

@Endangered-EGO Yeah first jhana is not kundalini awakening. Kundalini activation is required for it though. 2nd jhana is closely associated with kundalini awakening though. Kundalini awakening is simply the experience associated with the collapse of competing intentions in the mind — causes a feeling of absolute effortlessness and an explosion of exhilarating bliss.

@The0Self I had that same energy shooting up the entire Body as if it was an explosion of bliss (rapture) shooting up the chimney (my Body) when going from Access concentration into the first Jhana. I also used to call that "Kundalini Awakening", but it's a different "kind" of energy. You can call that energy, like every other energy, Kundalini. However the first Jhana bliss explosion in the Body, is a very distinct experience from an actual Kundalini awakening. It feels different, moves differently, lasts longer and has actual physical symptoms, like kryias (involuntary movements) and intense changes in perception that lasts for weeks, that can even lead to psychosis. Concerning the 2nd Jhana, I thought that the rapture from the first jhana changed to "emotional bliss". I don't practice Jhanas anymore because I lack prana and concentration atm.

@CameronsExploring There is a misappropriation, a mislabeling or miscategorizing of emptiness. Emptiness is the greatest feeling possible, and all things are possible in emptiness, and inspiration runs through your veins like electric love-bliss. What you’re experiencing is not emptiness, it is the reluctance to ‘empty your cup’. The expedited route is to do some things selflessly for others. Then you will realize the goodness of feeling sought is not coming from somewhere or something else, but arising in, as, you, because you are awesome. Unthinkably awesome. The emptiness of the sky is not reoccurring, but the clouds (thoughts) make it seem so.

@The0Self How do you go from recognizing this as it is... to this feeling like bliss

Running. You get the runners high and incredibly sharp clarity of thought, almost as if you're channeling. It pays huge dividends back to your work. You do not have to run very far, anything like 1.5 miles to 8 miles or so. Running 5 miles totally puts me in bliss like lala land, and I start being less effective but 2 miles is a good daily routine. I'm sure it varies for others.

I can speak based on what I experienced with LSD and what Leo said in his "What is death?" video. What you're saying is probably the most accurate outcome of life after death. Leo says it, forum users say it, other sources say it, and LSD showed me it. It's completely lights out. No mind, no thoughts, no feelings, no attachments, no memories of life on earth, no human senses, no self. You cease to exist. One thing you're missing here though is that, with non-existence there's this state of pure bliss. Leo mentions this in the video, and it happened in my LSD trip as well. This is probably the best thing that ever happened to me, it was so peaceful that I actually wanted it to last for eternity. This is probably where the concept of heaven came from. Another thing to add is that, in a way its similar to us as humans, being asleep. But when we're sleeping, we don't really know we're asleep. We sleep on our bed, have some dreams then a couple hours later we're awake in our human body. And so, from what I experienced in my trip, you have complete awareness, awareness of nothingness. As humans we're aware that we exist as humans, but through ego-death you're aware that you exist as nothing. I wouldn't know if this lasts for eternity when we literally physically die and if we reincarnate into another living being but I would say there's nothing to fear if our memory of our current life is completely gone. Of course we don't have our current thoughts and feelings after we die, so there's no regret or wishing that we came back to life after we die lol, those thoughts don't exist anymore. Nothing is permanent. People talk about being afraid of death because they have so much to live for but what does all that matter if the illusion of life just completely disappears as if it were just a human's dream? That's like a human in his dream saying he's afraid to wake up because he has so much left to do in his dream.

Combine shadow work with bliss/satisfaction work, see Leo's latest two videos.

This isn't my first rodeo. I'm not new to transcendence, psychedelics or working with "the void". My 5MeO experience was not about "the void" for me. It was about being so severely out of it I basically blacked out. I was chasing something. What thought I was chasing was ego death and oneness with the Absolute. What I got was a drug induced spanking and my only realization was that I was chasing an escape from being human, but the whole point of being human is to be human. If doing all this spiritual work does not manifest in your life, in maya, in the human realm of duality, time, space and ego, then what is the point? If all you want is to have a perpetual bliss of divine love etc, just kill yourself, take psychedelics everyday or go meditate in a cave someplace for the rest of your life. But then suicide and chronic drug use and decades of isolation are all just attempts to escape being human. Why not just embrace it? Be fully present and mindful / conscious of each moment AS a human? Why focus so much on transcendence? What are you trying to transcend, and why? Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that occasional experiences of transcendence, divine love, unity with all time and space etc. isn't worth pursuing. My realization is that these experiences are not what this life is about. For occasional use only. We need to stay grounded and integrate these experiences with the here and now of human experience. Otherwise it is spiritual narcissism and can lead to losing touch with this reality, psychosis and even suicide. Be here now people!

Hey my first real suicide attempt was actually doing shrooms I had before a few times but it wasn't all the way like shrooms. I sat in a puddle of blood in utter bliss knowing it's all over truly and I had latched onto thoughts of my mother and me when I was a child. I really learned my lesson when I got up and realized I wasn't going to die, I just sat still for a long time. I calmed down and contemplated what the actual fuuuck happened. Basically man it's like understanding you can choose to surrender or to resist, that's all it is. I know it's sooo simple to say this but it's really just having the awareness that with certain waves of feeling (although in the present moment of being in that state it can feel unbearable) it's actually mostly the resistance causing your freakout because you're still clinging onto your model of reality. Just surrender yourself into whatever happens, make a vow. Practice laying down and meditate by surrendering to everything whatever it is you're feeling no matter how horrible, just sink into it. Like stick your face into it and be with it, you'll see you can become meditative like this and have a lot more confidence knowing you won't get caught up in the trip and make it hell for yourself. But I must say I have built a lot of confidence by the traditional stuff rather than the insanely high states of consciousness psychedelics can put you in, I have spent a looooooot of time reading watching and thinking, practicing the more traditional stuff from buddhism, yogic practices etc and the ratio of traditional layed out brick by brick stuff that's all out there right now to doing psychedelics imo should be like 10:1 So I think if you're doing fuck all inbetween your trips to resolve stuff you will constantly be in that terror of not trusting yourself to let go fully.

Perhaps. The realization for me however was that this experience of being a human being, bound in time and space and illusion IS the reason we are having this experience of being human. This consensus realty we all experience may be the true hallucination, we are still having it. While it can have some value to peer beyond the veil to see maya for what it is, the purpose of being alive as a human is to experience being human, not flirt with nothingness. If you really think that a perpetual experience of Nothingness / God / Absolute truth is the goal, then suicide is likely the best option. But that is not why we are having a human experience. It is to live our lives, have experiences (both good and bad) within the relative matrix, share love and human connection and to value the beauty of this experience of being alive. There will be plenty of time for Eternity when we surrender back into the Void. But can you cook your dinner? Can you protect a hurt child? Can you make this worldly experience better for those around you? If not, then spirituality is really just narcissistic escapism. Being fully present and conscious in the ordinary is the goal of a spiritual practice IMO. Holding the hand of a dying loved one and letting the experience totally in, working on helping society and the Earth be better for everyone is the goal. Not experience transcendent states, live in bliss all the time or preach about solipsism, nihilism and spiritual narcissism.