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Learn The Keys To Development From Master Map of Success Seminar By Eben Pagan Key points: • There is a danger with having horizontal categories. Having a through explanation of our behavior can in turn, limit it, and lead to an excuse to behave in less than ideal ways. • In the vertical typology, you climb the ladder in stages. • Structure, Level, Wave. • Structure indicates that each stage has a holistic pattern which blends all of its elements into a structured whole. • Level means these patterns tend to unfold in a relational sequence with each senior wave transcending but including its junior. • Wave indicates that these levels are fluid and flowing affairs. • Change occurs simultaneously in four dimensions. • When making a map of behavior you can study the individual, the group, the inside behavior or the external behavior. • Management by objective. Quantifying from the outside efficiency and productivity. • System view. If you have a problem, it’s in the system. It won’t matter how good the people are if the system is flawed. • Cultural view. Edgar Shine said “Culture is the shared tacit assumptions of a group. That it is learned in coping with external tasks and dealing with internal relationships. Although culture manifests itself in overt behavior, rituals, artifacts, climate, and expressed values, its essence is the shared tacit assumptions. As a responsible leader you must be aware of these assumptions and manage them or they will manage you. • Personality view. The view that emotional cognizance is twice as important as cognitive ability Being able to calibrate your own emotions. Control your own emotions. Being able to read other people’s emotions. Being able to influence other people’s emotions. Tracing evolution in its four quadrants. 1) Objective Consciousness. • Facts, Brain, Simple Location. 2) Inter-Objective Consciousness. • Society, Social structures, Modes of techno-economic production. 3) Inter-subjective Consciousness. • Culture, Group meaning, Mutual understanding. 4) Subjective Consciousness. • Mind, Individual awareness, Self. • A common drawback to each of the maps is ignoring the other branches. • Evaluating claims in each of the four quadrants. 1) Truth. 2) Functional fit / Ecology. 3) Justness / Cultural fit. 4) Truthfulness. • We live in these value systems or holons (whole parts), and through evolution everything is constantly changing. • In this program we will be focusing on deep structure and the elements that drive change. • Development Happens. From physical, to emotional, to intellectual. Unique to humans is the fact that we can develop ourselves. • Master Key To Development: Contemplation. Reflection. “Going meta”. º Contemplation is the key to transformation. • Previous levels are integral to the development of the next level. They are used as the cornerstone of the next level. • Triune Brain. 1) Reptilian Brain: Responsible for territory, space, fight or flight response. 2) Emotional/Mammalian Brain: Emotional center, love. 3) Logical Brain: In charge of logic, reason, abstract thinking. • There is always a further. No matter how much you develop, learn, evolve, there is always more to go. • It is difficult to understand the other levels because you will see them through the filter of your own filter. º Looking at the behavior of the other levels through your own filter makes it appear to be either criminal or insane! • Pre-conventional, Conventional, and Post-conventional.

Eben Pagan Course Master map of Success Thing don't get better by chance, they get better by change. Thing to change you have to change. Think about word " Transform". Master key to development. It's master key to master map. This is one concept or idea you can used from which level you are at to the next level. The key is "Contemplation", "Reflection", "thinking about something." "Objectify your demons"-Ken wilber Which means turn your demons into a object. So you can step outside and look out from here. Because when you inside of it you just reacting, responding and then they hitting you. You can't see that, it just a process. When you outside and then you think about them, they become not so terrible. Contemplation is the key to transformation . In order to understand human development. We sort with matter and then we go into life and then we go Evolution, Growth and Development Key point: The key to change is becoming NOT ME. You must change yourself. • Change is not random. It follows patterns, and Wyatt will give you the map to change over the course of the program. • Two main concepts for today, the universe and everything in it evolves. • Change is not arbitrary, it happens in stages/pattern. 1. We can not resolve the problems of our existence at the same level of thinking that created them - Albert Einstein. • The Master Maps will give you a key to all conflict and disagreement. • Transformation: It’s a process. Going beyond your current form. • It has three main aspect. 1) Letting Go of the Old (beliefs). 2) Having a Path to the new. 3) Including, incorporating, and integrating everything that's come before. • We reach a point in our lives when we realize the way we are doing things will not get us the things that we want. • Brief overview of the Graves Model. EXERCISE: The Major Transformations in Life • Graves was a contemporary of Abraham Maslow. Graves was an empirical researcher his whole life. He was the first to combine many of the developmental models and added his own observations as well. • In this program will also be studying some of the theories by Ken Wilbur. Began career as a transpersonal psychologist. Transpersonal psychology is founded upon the principle that human development moves through the following stages: • Matter, life, Mind, should, and spirit. • Wilbur had the ability to change states, and retain consciousness through different states, including sleep in scientifically measurable ways. • Evolution occurs in stages, and one cannot skip a stage to get to the next. • Wilbur suggests that evolution occurs in 4 stages or tetra-evolution. • Brief introduction to Typologies. • There are two types: Horizontal and vertical. Horizontal typologies are structured around the idea that people fit into certain categories. • Vertical says we go through various stages, waves, or levels. • The most common are the Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram

So, I feel calm ALL the time. I must have some deep transformation because I no longer feel agitated or depressed on the daily. No suffering, just calmness. But here is the trick, I dropped the anti depressants but Im still under their effect. No side effects, just the effect of numbness. I still have thoughts but no thoughts that create suffering, could it be Im at inner peace? Could someone be it with thoughts?

If you can try to feel what it is to not feel, and go deeply into that experience then you have an opportunity for transformation more powerful than any psychedelic can offer you. It's a fascinating and exciting opportunity.

Yeah But when He came down down in the flesh, God the Son, He didn't condone the sin. His whole message was to bring us back to the bottom line, "Love the Lord your God, and Love you neighbor as yourself Oh boy lol Please keep in mind that I am no expert here, I can only speak off of what I know, feel, an believe First, I already have agreed in my other posts that Life requires transformation. We can't just stick with one thing, what you believe today can't be what you will believe in 10 years because, hopefully, you will have learned , more at that point. I can't speak for why or what Jews believe. I wasn't there, I can only base my beliefs off of what I learn and feel. What I read one was that the reason they found it hard to believe was because, at the time, they were under hard ruler ship (like many times in the past) and when they heard the prophecies of the coming of The Messiah, they took the whole "King on Earth", "He shall bring the kingdom of God down to Earth and rule over it all" stuff as a literal thing, and when He revealed Himself as this humble carpenter that's whole mission was to spread the Word of God and Love, they were disappointed and hurt. Makes some sense, but again, I wasn't there so I won't try to say "this is what happened". I already gave my belief on this in my previous post lol We believe in the Trinity, Three in one. Now, I am not 100% sure if my way of viewing this is the way most Christians view it, but I see it as Three separate parts, with their own functions and jobs in the Divine plan, but all part of the same overall "greater power". Although, I am still open to that viewpoint changing in the future as I learn more. God the Father I guess this is the one most think of as the "main one". This is the part of the trinity that was responsible for the Creation of all things. Whether you believe it was the way it was written in the Bible, or you believe in the Big Bang or Evolution, we believe God the Father did it. This part does not know sin and cannot "look upon it". In the Old Testament, it was required for the Jewish people to offer up a blood sacrifice for the payment of their sin I guess you could consider this a characteristic of the "ego"), because our sin is too great for us to take away on our own, we had to offer something up. "For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23 but He wanted to have a real connection and relationship with us, like He did "in the beginning" so he sent: God the Son "...but the gift of God is eternal life, through Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23 This parts job was to come down as God in the flesh, to live a human life, while spreading the true message of God, Love. He was not all God come down, or all human, nor was he a demigod (half human, half god). He was all God come down in all flesh. He was just as much God as human, so He knew everything that was going to happen and everything the He needed to do, but He still had to fight with His flesh. This part of the Trinity did not just come into existence at the Virgin birth. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God, and the Word was with God" John 1:1 Jesus is considered the "Word" to us because He is the physical Word of God come down, just for us. He was there since the beginning through it all. Now, Jesus had to suffer. It is stated through out the Bible that His purpose was to come and spread the news, that we may spread it to the ends of the earth. He also had to die. Once Jesus paid our debt for sin, "death", there was no more need for blood sacrifices. He was the ultimate and final blood sacrifice. And with Him going through all of the needless disrespect and unjustified torture, because He broke no laws (even Pilot "washes his hands of this mess because he couldn't see what He did wrong). He experienced the absolute worst parts of the human nature, and still loved us enough to beg the Father's forgiveness for them. Now, when you accept Jesus as your Savior, you will receive: God the Holy Spirit This is the part of the Trinity that lives insides us and guides us to love and follow God's Plan. This does not save us from temptation or turn us into perfection like God. This is the part that gives us our conviction of sin and our fire for the glory of God. This part was also in the beginning: "The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters." Geneses 1:2 I'm not sure what else I can add without repeating myself lol but please feel free to keep asking anything you want. I do apologize for the long ass post and the delayed response

There are countless ways to meditate, but only 1 takes a person to the deepest states of Spiritual Enlightenment. Let the channeled Higher Self Consciousness guide you to your deepest Truth Consciousness Bliss state. Since the beginning of human history, meditation has been the most popular method that practiced to give a person deeper knowledge of themselves and reality. Meditation opens up a person's mind for self-examination and personal transformation. Meditation removes stress, anxiety, fear and all undesirable emotions. Meditation creates peace and happiness. The final goal of meditation is direct experience of one's Eternal Self and God Consciousness. Meditation creates so many powerful benefits. But which meditation method should a person practice for the deepest states of Spiritual Enlightenment to be reached? This Channel Higher Self videos features a channeled teaching from the interdimensional Higher Self Consciousness. You will learn how to correctly meditate. Instruction is given for spiritual students new to meditation. The entire path of meditation is examined and discussed. Many different popular meditation methods are examined and their shortcomings identified. Ultimately one meditation method is chosen to be the single most effective method of meditation for God Consciousness Self Realization. We live in the information age, where too much information is available to us. Self-proclaimed experts and self-determined gurus are teaching methods that will not lead to genuine Spiritual Enlightenment, but instead will create confusion, suffering and a stronger ego structure. The truth is very simple and ever-present. Let this direct, precise and clear Higher Self video teaching help you practice meditation correctly and effectively. May you achieve genuine Spiritual Enlightenment, Self-Realization, and God Consciousness within yourself. -Lincol Gergar

It you christian conditioning that you see things in this way. The Christian is conditioned in one way, the Hindu is conditioned in another way, but they are all conditioned. Life needs transformation, and transformation is a great work upon oneself. It is not a child's play, that: "Just believe in Jesus Christ, go on reading the Bible again and again, and you are saved." Saved from what? Saved from transformation! Jews never accepted Jesus, not even today. There was a reason why they crucified him: if on the cross he can manage to provoke God to help him, then they will be able to see whether he is the messiah or not , God will save him. If God is not even bothering about saving His own son on the cross, then what to say about others? And if Jesus cannot provoke God to save him, how can he provoke God to save others? The crucifixion was going to be a criterion. They had forced him to carry his own cross. Three times he fell on the way; the cross was too heavy. Jesus said that "those who have such faith can move mountains". He could not carry his own cross and he was trying to carry the crosses of the whole of humanity. On the cross he himself feels shaken up. He cries to God,"Have you forsaken me?" , because he sees that the crucifixion is happening and there is no miracle. And when he says, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." that is surrender, but not true , with reluctance, just a face-saving device. Nothing is happening, all is finished. After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, said, “I thirst!” Now, this is the man who used to walk on water. This is the man who used to turn water into wine. He cannot even manage a glass of water , and he was able to change stones into bread! Why can't he change the air into water? Christians go on, all over the world, saving people. They don't even understand what it means to save. In the East, no religion has ever proclaimed that anybody can save you except yourself.

Of course I have heard about deities ( your spelling is wrong) and multiple gods, the question is - In all pantheistic systems , why to use God and existence interchangeably . Well, to be fair pantheism is exactly the belief that God and existence are the same thing so that is why those two words are being used interchangeably, but I was talking about pantheistic systems like this actualized.org, whose sole agenda is not to convince people that God is not the christian God but existence (which is the agenda of pantheism) but the sole purpose of actualized.org is to show and make understand the true nature of reality, and the non-material core of reality. In all this picture, why to speak of it as God? Why not just stick with nothingeness? Why to say- God is existence? That is not a useful sentence, as it only describes the nature of God , but we are not interested in God, we are interested in the nature of reality. The useful sentence is- Existence is nothingness. Existence is immateriality, consciousness. The goal of actualized.org is not to realize God (as it is in no way a religious organization that believes in God) , it's goal is to realize the true nature of existence so as to bring about a radical positive transformation in an individual's life which allows him to live an extraordinary life (which is what it's true goal is). Secondly, I asked - IF existence is god, why to call God God and not call God existence (which as I have already said , I was talking in the context of pantheistic system) and you said because there are multiple gods?Seriously? Because there ARE multiple gods, god is called god? So it is obvious? Well yes it is obvious IF just like you I was also believing that there ARE multiple Gods, but what is fascinating is how you cannot see that here in actualized.org, most people are not believers in the existence of multiple gods, most are believer in god= existence, so why do you think that just like you everyone is a believer in multiple gods (specially in this place)? Yes it would be obvious that God is called God if people believed in MULTIPLE gods ( let alone ONE), but how is it not obvious to you that here in actualized.org most people do not hold that belief? 1st question to you - Do you believe that multiple gods exist? Why? Second question - If yes, what the hell are you doing here if you don't even know the basic premise that this website is founded upon?

I agree with you. That's what happens in most cases. No one really wants to wake up from a dream until it starts to become a nightmare. Also we can see that the wisest, transcendent of all people usually have a very dark/unsatisfying past which compelled them to the journey of understanding and transformation

Sadhguru is probably the one enlightened being that has the highest probability of bringing you to self realization and long lasting transformation and empowerement. I am still waiting for Leo to show what he attained during this month but so far I am far from convinced that psychedelics are the way to go.

Excerpts from Eckhart Tolle - https://www.eckharttolle.com/newsletter/october-2011 "The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time. Yes, I have also experienced it. It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything........ ...... What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity. Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self. .....You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness. Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on. Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning. It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything..... to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence. You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness. Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore." Eckhart Tolle suggests one examines the world without a frame of reference. I can't find further explanations on the net with regard to how one should make the transition to realisation of truth. If anyone knows of any, please paste here.

Yesterday I had been thinking about this pyramidal structure of development where you work in everything through stages. The last stage or the tip of the pyramid is perfection. Work through all the stages or layers and build it up. That's the way to go forward until you get too old to do anything. But this is like a life long journey of transformation and it should just go on like that till it reaches a level of contentment and satisfaction. Also along the way is the practice of contentment since this plays a huge role in how we perceive our life and how much it motivates us to live.

what does this concept "absolute nothingness" point to, and how do you know that it exists? well, obviously you dont know if it exists, but lets be openminded and consider an option that there is some transformation of consciousness that does SOMETHING, we dont know what. how does that happen to an individual? how to trigger it? since we hit an intellectual ceiling, we cant think our way there. what can we do? according to material i've read and listened to all you have to do is to be the observer for a long enough time. what I guess would increase the chances of a consciousness jump even more is destroying beliefs, that means not to focus on "what is this absolute nothingness, i have to understand it", but to focus on "what do i believe and dont know that i believe", question everything in other words. do you agree?

I have nothing against this guy but if you really took your growth and transformation seriously, you would ignore him. He talks about awareness and present moment which is fine, but after that....uh yeah.

Cause we take our growth and transformation seriously. We don't give a shit about some bullshit fear of schizophrenia. That fear prevents us from exploring and finding the real tools that can make a massive impact on our lives and the lives of other people.

I have realized that those who speak of coming out from the dark night of the soul as soemthing transformed for the better were likely lying. I think they didn’t really grasp the lesson from it. That everything is meaningless and void. Accounts of positive transformations from it are just ego defense to not have to deal with the reality of our existence. No matter what we do or what we decide it is all meaningless and void. It’s paralyzing and soul sapping to realize that, so we make up metaphors of it being a cocoon to make it seem like some transformation rather than the reality of existence .

So, I got myself involved in 5-MeO-DMT. But before I start this post, I'd like to point out that if you wanna know a little bit about my psychedelic background and another fun trip report, you might wanna read my report on shrooms first - if you haven't. There I describe my background with this etc. You can find it here. +++ Research, Planning And a Fun Experiment +++ So, how did it all start? Let's go back in time. Roughly two months ago when Leo released his mushroom videos I wrote with him here on the forum about my experiences with psychedelics, told him about one bad trip that I had and so on. In this conversation he said I should checkout 5-MeO-DMT and that nothing really compares to that. I gotta say I was kind of skeptical at first. I had done regular n,n-DMT and thought that this would be as "high as it gets". Little did I know. So I did some research over the weeks into MeO, asked some friends who had done it and read a lot. After a few weeks I forgot about it mostly because I had exams to learn for and interesting projects at work. Then Leo released his video about becoming God. I still remember how I listened to that in the morning while eating breakfast and I'm like: "This can only be MeO." So I waited a week until he made his video about it. So I thought, I better get involved in this. This sounds transformational and scary and I'm up for super-charging my progress. I did some more research and got me 250mg of 5-MeO-DMT, lab-tested with a minimum of 98% purity in HCL form. Don't ask me where I got it, if you can't do the research, don't do it. Onions might have been involved in this process, one rumors. So, I basically set up an experiment that I was going to undertake. The question I want to solve is: "Can a habitual use of 5-MeO-DMT used 1-2 a month raise my awareness permanently if used for 6-12 months?" This is the question I wanna investigate with this. To do that, I will do the tripping and document what happens with me. I plan to release I'd say at least 1 post per month here on the forum on my experiences - but more importantly on the development that happens in me. This is why I do this. I am actually thinking about making this in a video form (me telling this to you instead of writing). I might do that if the changes that occur are as deep as I expect them to be so that the cost of exposure and the investment in time and effort will be worth it. We'll see. If you like this whole experiment, like the posts and comment, ask questions and so on, so that I see that you guys are interested. If not, I'll document this just privately for me or later purposes. So, I got all this down and last Thursday, the 6th of October was the day it should all begin. So let's jump right into it. +++ The First Two Dosages: Light and Medium +++ How do you prepare to die? That's the question I asked myself before I did the first trip. And you really can't. You can just try to be at peace with whatever happens as much as you can be. This is rather difficult, because your mind can simply not come up with any framework that brings it at peace with non-existence. You have to let that go. I was pretty scared and nervous before the first trip, to be honest with you. I did all the stuff I had to do on that day, so that I had time to prepare, to do and integrate the first experiences with this beast of a drug. Before I started, I laid on my bed, closed my eyes and went deep inside. I talked to my unconscious and asked it whether it really wants to do this kind of experience and whether I could accept to die into it, so that it could become everything. I listened to my intuition that was in for it. That calmed me down a lot and was the basis for the surrendering I had to do here. I would've quit the whole thing if something in me would've not wanted this authentically. The following is a sum-up of three light-to-medium trips I took on Thursday and Saturday. They are based on 1x 15mg and 2x 20mg of MeO and had similar effects. I weighted the dosage on my scale, made two halves out of it, turned on my tripping music very quietly and snorted the powder in with a third of a straw. You basically wanna sniff it in with the least energy to get it inside, so that it stays in the nostrils. Then you hold a finger on the nostril opening, do the other nostril, cover that and sit down on your couch / bed. I sat down on my bed, tilted my head upside down and massaged the MeO into my nostrils. It burns a little bit but not very much in my experience. After 3-5 minutes my reality would get wanky and I would lie down on my bed very openly. I tried to focus on my breathing that got slower and slower while my pulse would be shooting through the top. And I mean through the the motherfucking top. You have not experienced this kind of pulse ever before in your life (if you weren't confronted with a death-like situation). I knew this would be coming, but man. You begin to worry a little bit if you can even physically take this. Then my bodily tensions and pressures slowly vanished, I closed my eyes and all I could feel is my pulse, a feeling of terror in my abdomen and a very slow breath. I mainly focused on keeping my breath going because it felt like it would stop any second if don't consciously breathe. (This is a known feature of the MeO-experience that it feels like your breath stops, however it doesn't. One does not have to be afraid of this. However, if you feel this the first time it is very heavy to say the least. Me whole body gave me signals that I'm going to die right now and it felt like I was on the edge for a good twenty minutes. So what did I do? How do you face such a situation? With eyes closed I just tried to get in contact with this force that birthed me into life and that makes and shapes me every moment. I actually kinda got hold of this and it felt very much like home and that I could just surrender into it. I was on the verge of psychological death. I totally gave in. In these 20 minutes it felt like I purged 10 years of emotional baggage. Every fear and every fight that I ever had with myself just vanished and disappeared as I faced my own death here. It is - to say the least - transformational and scary. After 30 minutes the terror kind of went away, I opened my eyes and was just bathed in this clearness. I laid on my bed for I don't know how long and was just there. No thoughts, no interpretation, no worries, no hopes, no fears. Just stillness and clearness. It was sick, I gotta say. After it, a lot of the heightened awareness actually stayed and is still present. It cut out in the last couple of days a lot of unnecessary thoughts. My meditation practice feels super-charged and my unwanted desires mostly went away. I'm not in a meditative state, but just really grounded and authentic. I don't resist myself anymore - at least in the last few days - and every kind of conflict or negative association just melts because of what happened there. Like, you don't have to do anything to stay grounded and aware, you just are because even if a earthly worry would come up it just is not equipped to hypnotize you anymore, because you have faced your own death. And nothing is greater then that. You faced your personal ever-nearing apocalypse - and nothing else compares. That's it. But that should just be the beginning. +++ The strong semi-breakthrough dosage +++ For Saturday evening I had planned the last initial dosage. 30mg. Boy, I wouldn't have dreamed in my wildest dreams that 10 godly milligrams could do such a difference. I had expected that I would go from near-death to a kind of void and that this is it. Yeah, think again. So I followed up on the normal procedure I described above, sat down on the bed massaging my nostrils. 3 minutes in the reality would get wanky again. So I laid down on my bed and expected the upcome to take at least a few more minutes. I don't know how long it actually took but I suspect 5-10 seconds when I laid down and opened up I was just gone. My mind just started collapsing in on itself. Indescribable. Pulse through the top, breath on the verge of being existent, bodily tensions and feelings not there unless a big, mother... god-fucking big existential terror in my abdomen. It felt like my whole nervous system collapsed in on itself, my mind tried to wrap its head around it and just every frame of reference vanished. You don't even remotely suspect how deep your ego shapes your perception. Every experience you have, everything you take in and make sense out of is combined with your web of beliefs. Even the most little thing like taking a breath is carrying years and years of your ego in it. Every little cell in your body. And now imagine all of this goes down to zero, nada, nothing. Just collapses in on yourself. It is by far the deepest kind of transformation you could ever experience. You are just blown away and every tool that your mind uses to come up with a calming solution of "you can handle that in a certain way" just isn't there. You're basically going insane while you are dying while it feels like every two seconds you are flushed with the doubled amount of awareness you just had. Very, very intense experience, guys. Very intense. This is such an physical experience that I actually thought I gotta vomit. It felt like my body would explode and implode every few moments. So I ran to the toilet, put a finger in my throat and tried to vomit. Nothing happened. And I'm like: "What the fuck?" I never in my life was so certain that I gotta vomit and I never put my finger so deep into my throat to get me to do this. But I just didn't. So I laid back down in my bed for about 10 seconds and then got up because I thought I gotta vomit again. Didn't happen. The second time hanging over the toilet I realized that I'm completely transforming right now and that this is probably the cause of me thinking I gotta vomit. This was one of the only thoughts I had in these moments. Dear, dear thought. I was happy that you were around, buddy. At least a little calm. So I got back to my bed, laid down again, opened up, massaged my navel a little bit (which a friend of mine - a Qigong practitioner - recommended to me to get my awareness from my head into my abdomen which calms you down) and closed my eyes. In that moment all tensions, the existential terror and the complete shock I was in just exploded in this ever-still moment that expanded in all directions while not moving at all. I was that for a brief time and then were birthed again into my ego, were ripped out of again and then were the stillness again. This occurred for some time. God is a beast, man. A fucking beast. After having this for some time I managed to surrender into this birthing and dying every few moments and flowed with it for a few moments. It was the most majestic, horrifying, loving, still and moving I don't know what to call it that I have ever seen. Completely impossible. In the process I actually thought I died because there was no indication left that I was alive. Having done that it birthed and destroyed me for some more time, like 10 minutes and I opened my eyes and surrendered to the process. I merged with everything I could see, I was the room, the thing itself and the viewer of it. I was still being pumped with tremendous amounts of awareness every few seconds. Fuck me man, this is nuts I thought. By looking at the things in my room they changed their boundaries like every few seconds. Like the shelve and the wall would now be one thing, then everything would blur out and then they formed a different object again. No hallucinations, but just every kind of way you could perceive an object in like 30 seconds. I didn't even try to understand this. After 45 minutes I slowly came out and by that time didn't even care anymore whether I was breathing, my pulse was going through the top or whatever just happened. I was completely wiped clean, bathing in this stillness and nothingness and slowly saw how my ego began to put my world together again. After that I smoked a cigarette and took a walk. My head was surprisingly still and cool with what just happened and was happy to have even greater amounts of awareness and stillness, no bad thoughts coming up, feeling very authentic. I asked myself whether I wanna do this again for 6-12 months on a bi-weekly basis and my intuition was still in for it. Why do I call this a semi-breakthrough and not a genuine breakthrough? I think that if I do this a couple of times and increase the dosage 3-5mg I would be leaving most of the terror behind and bath more consistently in the absolute. I was kind of going in and out here the whole time which was kind of crazy. So we'll see next time. +++ The Aftermath +++ So, I guess you read all of this and just think: "What the fuck, how could anyone ever do something like that to himself?" Let me tell you why. In this moment of complete shock, terror and then dissolving into the absolute you are shown your own birth and death. You actually see how you die every few moments and then are born again a moment later. You see how you are this collection of thoughts, perceptions and emotions and how they spontaneously arise out of an infinite pool of possibilities. I'd guess that if you do that for a few times you can surrender so deeply into it that most of the terror dissolves and you just die into the beauty and majesty of it. Of your own divine nature. I also guess from the aftermath that I experience right now that your own mind has to rebuild itself in a higher order after these experiences because it has no framework to handle it with your limited view. Besides that, I guess that this will lead to the most mature emotionality a human being can have because you learn to accept dying here. That means that over some time nothing really can bug you anymore, because you have experienced and surrendered to your death and have seen beyond it. This I would conclude can lead to tremendous psychological changes that could cause an permanent awakening because nothing else can really handle such an experience. No framework of a normal sleeping mind can do that. Also, the feeling and awareness you get after these experiences are amazing. It feels like being reborn again, clean. It feels like I have done 3 years of daily meditation in 45 minutes, 3 years of talking and fighting and adjusting myself. It is that powerful. I think that it just gets more powerful the more you do it, although it is scary and horrifying to a degree. But you also see that there is really nothing that can really destroy you. And that itself is transforming. So yeah, that's my take on the first experiences. If you are interested in me posting more of this and documenting my journey here on the forum, like this, comment and let me now. I'll go through that and see where I end up. I think it's gonna be a good place. The last few days were the most exciting, refreshing and calm days I had in my entire life. Cheers to 5-MeO-DMT, Azrael

I changed my brain and my life changed to match it. This is what I did ... The speaker, me,is the actual evidence of what he is talking about. He successfully found and practiced a method to get more awareness (not meditation or mindfulness). He then intentional and consciously employed techniques to rewire his brain (neuroplasticity) and as a result, was able to write himself new default programs (dominant neural networks) of thought, speech, behavior and emotion. And when his brain changed, his life changed to match it. The evidence of his successful collaboration with his brain is his life transformation: from heroin/crack/meth addict to therapist, teacher, example.

How i've been looking at the process as it keeps evolving is that we are undeniably dependant on our conditioning, you reap what you sow. Beginning new habits, instilling new ideas of gratitude and respect sets in motion a new conditioning that you can continue to cultivate and be a part of. Your ego runs on the momentum of your whole life, so this will take some time to undergo a complete transformation because "you" are more than the concious aspect of awareness.

What I tried to get from meditation, I got faster with technology. This is what happened ...The speaker, me, is the actual evidence of what he is talking about. He successfully found and practiced a method to get more awareness (not meditation or mindfulness). He then intentional and consciously employed techniques to rewire his brain (neuroplasticity) and as a result, was able to write himself new default programs (dominant neural networks) of thought, speech, behavior and emotion. And when his brain changed, his life changed to match it. The evidence of his successful collaboration with his brain is his life transformation: from heroin/crack/meth addict to therapist, teacher, example.

@Leo Gura I saw that you mentioned to someone who said that they have little free time so they should just do the most potent and effective techniques such as psychedelics, etc. What might some other techniques be if psychedelics weren't the route I wanted to go? Kriya? Contemplation? Holotropic Breathwork? Self-Inquiry? I guess all I'm asking is what techniques are the most powerful to do if one is short on time, yet not overpowering for a person with an intermediate amount of consciousness practices under their belt. I'm not a complete beginner, but I still have a long way to go, and throughout the few years that I've been practicing consciousness work I've seen very little results. I can still see the benefits of meditation, concentration, etc., but they're just long processes and I'm willing to delve inward and partake in a transformation of how I see the world, I just need to know how and what practices might I try to see which are the most effective for my mind.

When I was 4 years old I received my first video game console with my all time favorite game included. I stopped counting how many times I had completed the game because I did it multiple times a season. This was none other than "Kingdom Hearts". The story was of a young 14 year old boy named Sora who one day was caught in a storm on his nearby island, losing his two friends Riku and Kairi. He woke up in another world, and sought to find his friends because he loved them dearly. And this is what got me hooked. Especially at the climax where (spoilers) Sora sacrifices himself so that Kairi can regain consciousness by her heart returning to her body. It was beautiful. The Disney worlds in between the main story were fun, but the friendship aspect is what made this game phenomenal. And so began my video game addiction in general... What I have realized is that, even with the most emotional and enchanting game I have played in my life, the feeling of connection, safety, and love you receive from genuine friends far outweighs this artificial world. It doesn't matter what the game is, in the end it is still pixels flashing on a screen generating a physiological response inside of us to the stimuli. Humans however have something special that I've learnt and experienced: We have layers. A mental, emotional, and physical body. In human to human conversation our emotional bodies can interact, and this isn't possible in the video game world, thus it will always lack that layer of connection. Anything in nature can create genuine feelings in us too, as long as it is living. So why don't people choose to be with themselves, or people or nature instead of plugging into the video game matrix? Why do I still feel attracted to play through these old games? First the second question! The time when I played Kingdom Hearts and some older video games was when I was a child. As a child I was a ball of energy, my consciousness leaps and bounds higher in vibration. Due to this relationship my adult self wants to connect with the high vibe of my child self, not the video game. Secondly, video games represent key pillars of our modern society. That is instant gratification (through rewards and achievements), and escape from bad emotions (away from a manipulative family in the real world is prevalent), and the sedentary, lazy lifestyle. Video games therefore contribute to the perpetual loop of staying in the same vibratory state of a largely shattered ego, by providing yet another place to escape from our hearts. Our hearts are calling for our attention, that is all it wants. The heart doesn't want you to pursue a life purpose, or "do" anything, it wants to be listened to. And funnily enough, that is the fastest way to spiritually evolve. So what is most of modern society built around then if we aren't all enlightened? It must mean that it is built around avoiding our heart. Television (Tell lies to your vision), video games, the internet, junk food, the belief that we need to achieve external goals to have self-worth are all meant to direct our attention outwards when turning our attention inwards is rather uncomfortable. Discomfort is the ego falling apart, and being reintegrated into the light in real-time; and as we can see the matrix we are in called society has made this belief ass backwards to, "if I feel uncomfortable then I must have done something wrong in the past to cause this". No my lovelies, you did nothing wrong at all, you are just experiencing a deep deep inner transformation. And if you made friends with discomfort, instead of running to an artificial world or an unnatural one and committed to your heart (the source of all of existence) you would see a greater reality unfold before your very eyes. Life would become peaceful, as your heart becomes content that you are there, not elsewhere. Realize too, that even meditation can disconnect us from our hearts. Well can't video games connect us to our hearts? Never. Only we can connect to our hearts, the video games do not do it for us. No matter the circumstances, what we see right in front of our faces, it never is the source of our inner connection. My darlings, we are the awareness that connects with our heart, and that is the eternal truth. So yes, while playing a video game you could be connected with your heart in brief emotional scenes, that force our attention to it, but 99% of the time, our attention is glued to a screen, not inside of us, for that is how you play a video game. You can't 100% focus on your heart and focus on a video game. You can still play, but not consciously. It's like when we talk without knowing the next word we are going to say, and in that case we can 100% consciously focus on our heart and talk, but not focus on talking and focus on our heart. We want to become as heart centered as possible. It's so simple. You don't need any routine when you have a heart that knows the best thing for you to do in each and every moment. A compass that points to the true north of your journey, where you become the parent to yourself that you never had. The world we live in darlings is designed to hard wire us to be thought centered beings in our minds, and it has a very external focus. So the effort or resistance we find in having our attention in our hearts is over coming our own social conditioning, and that which surrounds us. Be warned too, that this new center of attention accelerates the healing of old social conditioning achetypes as we become more conscious of what we have ignored. This is why I ask everyone to take it easy, start slow, and just put your attention there. Just Be in your heart space, and all of life will flow towards love at the rate you feel your heart. (btw, feeling=listening=attention in heart space). I wrote this today after what happened. Two days ago I impulsively bought a used graphics card to play some video games from this really strange guy. Long story short, the card has died, and I have the option to bring it back and get a refund of $100.00, but I decided not to because all of the money he said was going to widows in the Philippines. It was always meant to be. God gave me the most amazing contrast of my life by making that card die. I came from feeling heavy in the head, and frustrated; to, when knowing I couldn't play PC games, feeling a great joy in my heart arise. My heart was saying, "Yes!! Thank you God! Now Solace, can you give me your attention? I only ask for a little bit, just so I know that you love me". And I heard it, and responded by giving it what it wanted, and apologizing for almost falling back into video games after a year of sobriety. That is life's eternal choice, the quintessential question. To listen to my heart; or to listen to my ego (subconscious thoughts), or the egos of others? My heart, or my ego? My heart, or my ego? Infinite love. The journey is the heart, and the heart is the journey.

Reality hides in plain sight. The more conceptual you are, the more you have to deprogram from conceptual-truth to find it — and then ultimately be it. There’s a personal transformation that accompanies this. It’s like looking all over for a pair of glasses that have been placed backwards on your head. Reality hides in plain sight. It’s tricky. Using psychedelics especially LSD helped me see the obvious, as I’m a pretty conceptual person too. Sometimes you’re so smart, your brain leaks out of your head — and this definitely applies to Enlightenment! Leo’s gonna conduct his experiment and tell us his results. I get it. Go for it! Explore! That’s what I’m all about. I say go for it Leo! — full tilt! See what happens. Until you do it, it’s just speculation. After you do it, you’ll know something. And that will be a notch in your belt — an item to be placed in your shore of reference. Science is all about exploration and seeing and testing stuff for yourself. Science doesn’t just sit back and rely on complascent and lazy speculation — Science actually goes out here and sees for itself! I love that approach and attitude to everything, including Enlightenment. Be an explorer! Then come back and give us a report on your findings. How could that be a bad thing? Think about it. It’s a great thing.

Video Game Bonanza When I was 4 years old I received my first video game console with my all time favorite game included. I stopped counting how many times I had completed the game because I did it multiple times a season. This was none other than "Kingdom Hearts". The story was of a young 14 year old boy named Sora who one day was caught in a storm on his nearby island, losing his two friends Riku and Kairi. He woke up in another world, and sought to find his friends because he loved them dearly. And this is what got me hooked. Especially at the climax where (spoilers) Sora sacrifices himself so that Kairi can regain consciousness by her heart returning to her body. It was beautiful. The Disney worlds in between the main story were fun, but the friendship aspect is what made this game phenomenal. And so began my video game addiction in general... What I have realized is that, even with the most emotional and enchanting game I have played in my life, the feeling of connection, safety, and love you receive from genuine friends far outweighs this artificial world. It doesn't matter what the game is, in the end it is still pixels flashing on a screen generating a physiological response inside of us to the stimuli. Humans however have something special that I've learnt and experienced: We have layers. A mental, emotional, and physical body. In human to human conversation our emotional bodies can interact, and this isn't possible in the video game world, thus it will always lack that layer of connection. Anything in nature can create genuine feelings in us too, as long as it is living. So why don't people choose to be with themselves, or people or nature instead of plugging into the video game matrix? Why do I still feel attracted to play through these old games? First the second question! The time when I played Kingdom Hearts and some older video games was when I was a child. As a child I was a ball of energy, my consciousness leaps and bounds higher in vibration. Due to this relationship my adult self wants to connect with the high vibe of my child self, not the video game. Secondly, video games represent key pillars of our modern society. That is instant gratification (through rewards and achievements), and escape from bad emotions (away from a manipulative family in the real world is prevalent), and the sedentary, lazy lifestyle. Video games therefore contribute to the perpetual loop of staying in the same vibratory state of a largely shattered ego, by providing yet another place to escape from our hearts. Our hearts are calling for our attention, that is all it wants. The heart doesn't want you to pursue a life purpose, or "do" anything, it wants to be listened to. And funnily enough, that is the fastest way to spiritually evolve. So what is most of modern society built around then if we aren't all enlightened? It must mean that it is built around avoiding our heart. Television (Tell lies to your vision), video games, the internet, junk food, the belief that we need to achieve external goals to have self-worth are all meant to direct our attention outwards when turning our attention inwards is rather uncomfortable. Discomfort is the ego falling apart, and being reintegrated into the light in real-time; and as we can see the matrix we are in called society has made this belief ass backwards to, "if I feel uncomfortable then I must have done something wrong in the past to cause this". No my lovelies, you did nothing wrong at all, you are just experiencing a deep deep inner transformation. And if you made friends with discomfort, instead of running to an artificial world or an unnatural one and committed to your heart (the source of all of existence) you would see a greater reality unfold before your very eyes. Life would become peaceful, as your heart becomes content that you are there, not elsewhere. Realize too, that even meditation can disconnect us from our hearts. Well can't video games connect us to our hearts? Never. Only we can connect to our hearts, the video games do not do it for us. No matter the circumstances, what we see right in front of our faces, it never is the source of our inner connection. My darlings, we are the awareness that connects with our heart, and that is the eternal truth. So yes, while playing a video game you could be connected with your heart in brief emotional scenes, that force our attention to it, but 99% of the time, our attention is glued to a screen, not inside of us, for that is how you play a video game. You can't 100% focus on your heart and focus on a video game. You can still play, but not consciously. It's like when we talk without knowing the next word we are going to say, and in that case we can 100% consciously focus on our heart and talk, but not focus on talking and focus on our heart. We want to become as heart centered as possible. It's so simple. You don't need any routine when you have a heart that knows the best thing for you to do in each and every moment. A compass that points to the true north of your journey, where you become the parent to yourself that you never had. The world we live in darlings is designed to hard wire us to be thought centered beings in our minds, and it has a very external focus. So the effort or resistance we find in having our attention in our hearts is over coming our own social conditioning, and that which surrounds us. Be warned too, that this new center of attention accelerates the healing of old social conditioning achetypes as we become more conscious of what we have ignored. This is why I ask everyone to take it easy, start slow, and just put your attention there. Just Be in your heart space, and all of life will flow towards love at the rate you feel your heart. (btw, feeling=listening=attention in heart space). I wrote this today after what happened. Two days ago I impulsively bought a used graphics card to play some video games from this really strange guy. Long story short, the card has died, and I have the option to bring it back and get a refund of $100.00, but I decided not to because all of the money he said was going to widows in the Philippines. It was always meant to be. God gave me the most amazing contrast of my life by making that card die. I came from feeling heavy in the head, and frustrated; to, when knowing I couldn't play PC games, feeling a great joy in my heart arise. My heart was saying, "Yes!! Thank you God! Now Solace, can you give me your attention? I only ask for a little bit, just so I know that you love me". And I heard it, and responded by giving it what it wanted, and apologizing for almost falling back into video games after a year of sobriety. That is life's eternal choice, the quintessential question. To listen to my heart; or to listen to my ego (subconscious thoughts), or the egos of others? My heart, or my ego? My heart, or my ego? Infinite love. The journey is the heart, and the heart is the journey.

Hi! I'm sorry you are at a low, because it feels bad, but it is the beginning of something new. I understand why people do pick-up, but ultimately, it will not fulfill you. It is an external source of validation and happiness. It is competition, deceit, and concern for the shallow side of life. If this is your sole strategy for achieving contentment and ease, it is doomed to failure. You say that you do 10 minutes of meditation per day and, to be frank, that's not enough. That's nothing. That's for some relaxation and a little focus, not transformation. The 6 Pillars sentence stems are meant to bring your awareness to the center, and to write down what is observed/learned through heightened awareness. If your awareness is not heightened through techniques such as meditation, and you are doing the sentence stem exercise in a mechanical way with disbelief, then yes, it could be useless. Start anew, do something different.