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I am sure there are people here who could assist me with the idea of material matters. It is definitely my weakest pursuit in life. I have no income at all. Money seems to have always come to me by happen stance so that I have enough to buy whatever I desire, such as trips overseas, computers or good food. But for many years now, I have long desired to find a place to live by myself, alone, and have been working on many projects to see to it that it does happen some time in the future. In the waking world, I am totally at peace with the situation as is, because I always internalize every situation as being spiritually useful and it has indeed allowed me to find an astonishing degree of personal happiness, bliss, and fearlessness in all situations. Yet, within the subconscious plane, I basically just lied to you. There are the occasional times when I dream, I am met face to face with a true inadequacy— voices that say I am "lazy", or "stupid", a strange energy of underachievement mixed with doubt, that i am doing the "right" thing. When I wake up from such intense energy, I meditate and this energy of doubt goes away. Hm, how convenient for me? I strongly desire more spiritual realization and freedom to do as I please. This is the crux of my bind, that needs illuminated (and I will probably challenge you on anything you suggest so be careful!) Everyday, I happen to be able to do whatever I want with absolutely no obligations to anyone. I don't have to meet or talk with anyone unless I am absolutely certain they will raise my vibration (so to speak), which also means that I can end conversations short if I feel so inclined. So is the case, that when I work longer than an hour or two on my projects I feel my bliss starting to leave me. Thus, I never work more than my bliss allows. But, no further am I, in fulfilling that small (yet still persuasive) desire for a home of my own. With no real focus on any particular project, so far my plan is to continue at the pace I have been going, and simply trust that eventually my work will improve or (by the grace of the universe) my work will simply start catching on. In this way, I can focus on my enlightenment as primary and burn through the belief I need more instead of the karma of desiring more. Perhaps your perspective could grant me additional insight on the matter.

I would like to share something written by my guru's guru, Yogeshwar Muni. Many knew him as Charles Berner, the originator of the Enlightenment Intensive retreat, but what not everyone knows is that he went on to be an accomplished yogi. After having many peak experiences to only face a dead end, his guru, Swami Kripalu, gave him the key to achieving God realization. This is a rare path, and I would like to share an introduction to that here. Chapter 1 Introduction to Natural Yoga In the Western world it is not considered very important to be guided by the heart. We would all like to be more able to love and be loved, but we have learned to trust our heads. We have been educated, not only in our educational system, but also in our society as a whole to use our heads. It has brought us a certain degree of material success, but it has not succeeded in giving us the happiness, the peace, the consciousness, and the love that we all want. The teaching of Natural Yoga is the way of natural union with God. From my spiritual teacher Master Kripalvananda, I learned a method of opening my heart, a method of surrender. This is not to say that knowledge is a bad thing, because it is not. But it is not enough; nor is just opening your heart. We are so much more advanced in our heads than in our hearts. What we need is to learn to open the heart and surrender. But surrender to what? In Natural Yoga one surrenders only to the Truth. Another name for the Truth is God. God is the Absolute; the Absolute is Perfection; and Perfection is Truth. Natural Yoga is about knowing God not just intellectually, but consciously and directly; it is about surrender to God. It is necessary to re-release the energy captured by the closed heart. The heart, in turn, has been captured by the mind; and the mind controls it. It is not possible to figure out how to re-release or to liberate the life energy that has been entrapped. The more you use your will to make it happen, the more life energy gets captured. But when the heart is re-opened, the mind loses its grip on the previously captured energy, and life begins to flow again. If you surrender to anything and everything, your life becomes a complete waste. Your desires run wild and you run into incredible difficulties. In Natural Yoga, by surrendering to God, by surrendering to the Truth, the suppressed energy is released and transformed. Then liberation is achieved. Once you surrender the body, feelings and mind to God, the purification process begins. But the ego resists it. It says, “Oh, no, you don’t. This surrender business is not for me!” If you have a lot of toxins in your body, there will be a strong reaction. If you are sickly, overweight, use drugs, smoke cigarettes, or drink coffee or alcohol, the body will react very strongly and make it very difficult for you to continue surrendering. If you sincerely want to do Natural Meditation, you need to work through these difficulties and prepare for the process of full surrender, of completely giving over your body, feelings and mind to God. Then as you continue to surrender, your mind begins to purify spontaneously. There are four ways to awaken or liberate the life energy. One of them is by physical exercise; another is by understanding the Truth; the third is through devotion; and the fourth is through the transmission of divine energy form teacher to student. If you do a lot of exercise, stop using drugs and eat a pure diet, your body will become purer. And when it purifies, the life energy will be liberated. My life energy was liberated by understanding the Truth. I had a realization of the Truth of life. As a result, the life energy in my body went “whoooosh.” I rolled all over the floor and acted crazy. I didn’t know what to do with it! I tried to figure out what it was all about. For years I tried to find out what to do with it and how to handle it. I did not succeed until I met Master Kripalvananda, affectionately called Kripalu. He is the only one I ever met who really knew what to do with the vital energy. He was a great yogi from the great tradition of Natural Yoga. Something led me to his feet. He had the knowledge, method, and power to transform the life energy; and he could teach and transmit it to others. And finally, if you devote yourself to whatever is divine to you and open your heart and serve it, through great love, your life energy will be liberated In Natural Yoga, the life energy is awakened through the transmission of divine energy from teacher to student. The transference is a gift of life energy from the teacher to the student. The great advantage of transmission of divine energy from teacher to student is that you know what is happening; you how it has come about; and you know you have someone to guide you. Once the divine energy is transferred, the rest happens spontaneously and automatically as you continue to surrender. 1. You begin to treat people better, not because you are forcing yourself, but just because you want to. 2. The body performs purifying actions, moving spontaneously into yoga postures whether you have ever heard of them or not. The postures occur in the exact way necessary for your body to purify. 3. The life energy becomes restrained and elevated. 4. The attention withdraws from the senses. 5. You go into deep concentration. 6. You go into spontaneous meditation. 7. You go into equanimity or union with God. This does not happen in two or three seconds; it takes a while. It may take days, weeks, months or years; but it happens according to the grace of God and Truth, according to the wisdom of the divine energy that guides you. The process of Natural Yoga proceeds according to your degree of surrender, the previous work that you have done in this life and others, and the wisdom of your spiritual teacher. Divine union is the ultimate outcome of Natural Yoga. Your own true, divine nature comes into union with God or Truth. Natural Yoga brings not only bliss, but also consciousness, Truth, health and happiness. It brings natural humility and saintly behavior. Impurities are transformed into Divine Love for others. Eventually a complete and permanent transformation of one’s human nature takes place. This is a long-term project; yet it is the promise of Natural Yoga. Chapter 2 Surrender The key to Natural Yoga is surrender. By surrendering in meditation you achieve union with God or Truth. There are many names and ways of thinking about the Ultimate. Choose the way that has meaning for you, then surrender and go into union with it. Natural Yoga is natural union, a union that happens naturally without the use of willful direction or guidance. Natural Meditation means following the natural path, the path that is automatic and spontaneous. But this can only come through surrender. This is why surrender is the key. Without surrender, the will is involved. When the will is involved, nothing happens naturally. There are a lot of advantages to meditating naturally. You might say that surrender is “letting it be.” Letting things be the way they are, is a form of surrender. The dictionary defines surrender as the opposite of victory; surrender is yielding or giving in. It implies being forced to give in, to give in against your will. In Natural Yoga surrender means giving in by your own choice and letting the will of something other than you have its way. In Natural Yoga, you not only surrender, but you also surrender to the Truth; you surrender to Perfection; you surrender to the Absolute; you surrender to the Ultimate. You surrender to the cosmic finality. Call it whatever you like. You don’t just surrender. You surrender to an Ultimate. You have the choice to surrender or not. In Natural Yoga you choose to give in to the Divine. This is the key principle of Natural Yoga. You don’t need to know anything else. Everything else supports this key principle. So you need to understand it well. It is not easy to surrender, but it is the key to spiritual growth. If you surrender to the Divine, then automatically and spontaneously, you are on the path to the Truth, to the feet of the Lord, to Divine Love, without having to plan, to know, to force or to concern yourself in any way. The difficulty is that when you choose to surrender, there is a reaction. Therefore, you can only surrender to a certain degree. If you could surrender to the Truth totally, all at once, you would experience the Truth and you would have complete union with the Truth. Some people refuse to surrender at all. They say, “I’m using my will and that’s it. I’m not surrendering at all!” A few have surrendered totally. We call them God. Most of us are in between with some degree of surrender. When you have a reaction to surrender, don’t stop surrendering. Simply surrender more. Even if you don’t want to, go ahead and do it anyway. Perhaps you pull back your surrender to some degree. But if you do surrender, a little bit of purification takes place. Not only do concerns go away, but also the body and the mind purify to some degree. So when you surrender that much again, the reaction is not so strong. And as you continue, your capacity to surrender grows deeper and deeper because the reactions are less. It would take a lifetime to sort out the best way to have a supremely happy life, achieve complete liberation, attain absolute freedom, and reach total union with God. By the time I found Natural Yoga, my life had been spent trying to work this out. I had assembled about fifty different, quite excellent methods of dealing with the body and mind, like massage, Polarity Therapy, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Hatha Yoga, breath restraint, good diet, Gestalt Therapy, Mind Clearing, Emotional Trauma Release, praying to God, and many others. I was trying to design an assessment method to test every person who came to our spiritual growth center and then direct them to the techniques they needed. I had an elaborate plan worked out with a marvelous testing system so that each person’s plan could be adjusted to just the combination they needed and varied as their needs changed. I was excited by all of this and was beginning to make some sense out of it even though it was a fairly complex subject. Then one day I met my beloved spiritual teacher, Kripalu. He taught me Natural Meditation. With Natural Yoga all you have to do is surrender to God. And the perfect thing happens to you at just the right time with the correct intensity to do exactly what is necessary for you whether it be in your mind, your body or your feelings. It brings about the exact degree of purification you need. And then the process continues naturally without any need to ask questions or make plans! What a relief! What a Godsend! Unfortunately not everyone can surrender to God. First of all, many have not found God. Others have no absolute anywhere in their life. It’s difficult for them to find anything to surrender to. Secondly, many are so impure and toxified that if they do surrender even a little bit, their ego can’t stand it. They clamp their will down with all their might. These people must find Truth, through some other method, through Enlightenment Intensives, for example. They need techniques to remove their mental and communicative obstacles. Once their minds become purer as a result of techniques such as the Enlightenment Intensive, then surrender is possible for them. For those who are ready, for those who have prepared themselves, the path of Natural Yoga is open. Natural Yoga is an option if they so choose! Many have had deep experiences of God, Truth or Divine Love. But these experiences fade with time. All willful techniques are limited because you can only know God in a surrendered state. As soon as the will is re-activated by arising desire, the deep experience lost. Many people are sincerely driven time and time again into the realm of peak experiences only to fall back again when desire arises. Some have sought experiences using drugs, only to crash again. Taking drugs is certainly willful; and you cannot willfully maintain union. Only in the state of surrender to the Truth can the Ultimate goal be continually experienced. It’s a gradual process. Where willful techniques leave off, surrender begins. This is not to say that willful techniques have no value. They do! It is necessary for almost everyone to participate in them to get themselves to the place where they can surrender meaningfully to the Truth. To do Natural Yoga, one must be able to surrender and let the will another be done. It is God who is the doer in Natural Yoga. In Natural Yoga you release the body from willful acts. You allow the life energy in the body to do what it wants instead of willfully trying to do something. If your body gets tired, let it fall over or just collapse on the floor. Once the body rests for awhile, it wants to move again. Whereas ordinary meditation uses the will, in Natural Yoga you let the life energy, guided by the divine, move the body in whatever way it sees fit. Do not try to concentrate your mind or attention on any particular thing. In willful meditation you concentrate on one subject or willfully try to maintain a state of openness. In the case of Natural Yoga, you let the attention go wherever it wants. It might go onto anything. You surrender the control of your attention to the divine and letting it do what it wants. The divine directs the energy that guides the attention. It will go where it needs to go in order for you to make the most rapid progress in your meditation. Meditation may not always be what you want; and often, it is not. Sometimes it is boring. Sometimes it does seemingly pointless things like the grocery list. But that is what needs to be done. The energy is trying to release your attention from the “grocery list” so it can go on to other things. You say, “Oh, I shouldn’t be thinking about the grocery list; so I’m not going to think about it. I should be thinking about God.” You are using your will. It is all very well to think about God; but if you are using your will to direct your attention, then you are defeating the method of natural union with God. If you surrender your attention to God, the life energy in the body and mind will be guided appropriately. In meditation you go through what you need to go through. No one has to tell you anything. God is the only therapist. If you have God or the Truth as your therapist, you can not do better. The only fee God wants is surrender to Him. You can say Her if you prefer. The Goddess is Truth. Truth is the way things actually are no matter what perspective you take. You just let meditation happen whatever way it wants. Let His will be done, not yours. Surrender, then, is to choose to let God, the Truth, or whatever you want to call it, guide your body, feelings, and mind, your thoughts and attention. You will be lead you through the most fascinating, exciting, sometimes boring and even terrifying journey to to union with the Truth. By surrendering to the life energy, the body can naturally go through what it needs to go through in Natural Yoga. It does not become tired. The mind goes through what it needs to go through so it does not become stuck or frustrated trying to control the attention. And the feelings can flow when they are ready; when they are not ready, nothing happens. So just let it be. One can do many hours of Natural Yoga over long periods of months and years. The serious aspirant can devote his or her whole life to this activity. Four to eight hours a day spent in meditation is not unusual for a serious practitioner of Natural Yoga. Generally, the energy in meditation moves a lot at first, then slows down to nothing and the aspirant goes into yogic sleep. You may think that you should be alert and busy. Your will tells you, “I think I should be awake, active and busy.” And there is God’s will. Sleep is coming on naturally. If you have truly surrendered, you let sleep come. If a hand wants to move, let it move. Whatever happens let it happen! There is only one condition, surrender your body, mind and feelings to the Truth,. If you have done that, there is no error. Whatever occurs, including sleep or anything else, happens properly and automatically. Why doesn’t everybody do Natural Yoga? It’s so easy! I mentioned the obstacle of reaction. Many people are attached to the ego; that is, their ego wants to be in charge. It wants to be the doer and wants to cause things to happen. “If I do this, then I want that result. And I want the fruits of my actions.” Following the ego is the ordinary Western way of proceeding. It is also the Oriental way of proceeding to some extent. When you willfully act, God responds to a degree, if you have acted ethically. You can get bound to the ego and get stuck in the role of the doer. You are the one who is doing it, rather than surrendering. Following the ego can only take you so far. But most people are not ready to give up the role of “doership.” They are not ready to go on to Natural Yoga. God is the doer of all things. Imagine a slave master who has many slaves and who wants to build himself a nice house. He sits up on his dais and says, “Slave, you come over here and you carry these stones. And you slaves there, you pile them up. And you mix the mortar. And you design it. Come on, jump!” And they start jumping and carrying stones and they build the palace. When the palace is finished, the slave master invites his neighbor over. And he says, “Look! See the palace I built! See what I did!” The slave master is the ego and the slaves are God. God is the doer of all things that appear in the form of nature. God in the form of nature does all things. The ego sits back and says, “Look what I’m doing! See what I did!” The ego thinks it is the doer. But the ego does not create anything; it does nothing! The body is part of nature; the mind, feelings and thoughts are part of nature. The entire physical universe is part of nature. All that happens is done by God working in and through nature. Surrender releases the divine energy that makes everything work. The divine energy is what guides your body, mind and feelings in Natural Yoga. If you are strongly identified with doership, surrender will not occur. But you can give up the ego and say, “God, I surrender to you.” It would be like the slave master saying, “Slave, I surrender to you. I realize that you have been doing the work anyway and I’ve just been taking credit for it.” It is not just a matter of stopping what you were doing; it is a matter of realizing that you never were and are not the doer. God in the form of nature does all things. The act of surrender is simply the gradual realization of the Truth. As long as you are attached to the fruits of action, you are held in a trap. You hold on to the idea that you are the doer. “I did it. I worked all day. I want my pay.” So if you are attached to the fruits, you are automatically the doer. But it is not true. The fruits do not belong to you. They are all God’s. You are not the doer. God does it all. So what are you? You are the one who either surrenders to that fact, or resists it. You are the one who can make the choice. You can either surrender to the natural way which brings about union with Truth or you can fight it, saying, “No! No! No! I’m going to do it the way I want!” Sometimes people feel that if they decide to stop doing something, nothing will happen. They think that not doing anything is surrender. This is not true. They think, “I won’t think any thought; I won’t move a finger; I won’t breathe.” There is a very simple way to test this. “ Well since I’m the breather, I’ll stop breathing.” But it is not you who starts breathing again because it was not you who was breathing in the first place. God in the form of nature is causing the body to breathe, not you. And in the same way, nature causes the brain to think, the hunger to come, the sexual urge to arise. All these things happen by the will of nature. Thus it is the ego that stops people from doing Natural Meditation. Everyone has an ego. However, if you can just yield some of your doership, some of your attachment to the fruits of action, then you can open the door to Natural Yoga. Natural Yoga liberates you from both pleasure and pain. You protest, “Wait a minute, don’t you take my pleasure away! I’ll put up with some pain as long as I get some pleasure.” By surrendering to the Truth, you gradually get over the suffering of pain and the enjoyment of pleasure. In life, pain is the payment, pleasure is the reward. It is the fruit. Getting caught in this endless cycle of pain and pleasure is ordinary human life. An individual who wants liberation seeks to transcend this cycle. A practitioner of Natural Yoga, instead of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain, seeks only union with Truth, perfect awareness of the way things really are. He or she becomes more and more detached. Both pleasure and pain become the same. A sincere meditator seeks pure consciousness of the way it is. The ‘way it is’ is often called ‘That’ in yogic scripture. Pure consciousness of ‘That’ is bliss. Pure consciousness of the “way it is” (‘that’) may be called direct knowledge. When you have direct knowledge of ‘That’ which is true, you are in bliss. This is union with God. A liberated individual having transcended pleasure and pain comes to know God directly. If someone just talks to you about Truth, it tends to be dry. If someone just talks about God, you may feel belittled. But when you are the one that ends up knowing the Truth directly, you are in the state of bliss. Bliss is not the same as pleasure. Bliss is pure consciousness of Truth. The state you are in when you go into union is bliss. Bliss is not the titillation of a nerve ending; that is pleasure. If that nerve is not titillated, then it is painful. “Oh I feel so lonesome and left out. I feel depressed and hurt.” This happens because the nerve fiber did not get its electrical stimulus. But if you have pure consciousness of God or Truth, it is bliss. It is union with God. How do you to reach bliss? By the realizing that you are not the doer. By surrendering to the Truth. This leads to pure consciousness of the Truth and you have bliss. I speak not from theory, but from experience that this is the case. Surrender even in the early stages of the process of union with God, leads to bliss and to God. By the grace of my spiritual teacher it has happened to me. I can say that direct knowledge of Truth is God, beyond doubt, beyond certainty. There are many schools of thought, many religions and teachers who teach surrender to God in the form of the divine energy. The Christians on the day of the Pentecost were invested with the Holy Spirit which is the same thing as divine energy. They spoke in tongues and rolled on the floor, called out to God, cried, and laughed with joy. The purification had begun. The Holy Spirit had descended upon them. Chi is another name for the divine energy. Tai Chi tries directs this energy. The name is ‘Orgone’ to the Reichians. They permit the energy to flow and to surrender to it. These are all steps in the right direction. They are all excellent techniques. In Natural Mediation, we deal with the same energy. In yogic tradition, the guru gives Shaktipat initiation awakening the divine energy in his or her students. My spiritual teacher has provided us with a broad perspective of the spiritual growth process based on his experience in Natural Yoga. He practiced ten hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year for over thirty years. His life was Natural Yoga. He understood and practiced Natural Yoga in the context of ancient scripture. He was taught by his teacher, Lord Lakulisha, who achieved divine body through Natural Yoga. Natural Yoga has a history of thousands of years of sincere meditators experimenting, going up blind alleys, finding the way and then staying on course. They continued until they achieved the highest state of union with God, the development of the divine body, and the fulfillment of life. There are many names for this meditation. When I was in India, Swami Kripalvananda called me back into his room and wrote something his chalkboard in Hindi. I had to ask the translator to come back. Kripalu wrote, “The name of this yoga is love.” I did not know what he meant at the time. Now I have a good idea. Love and surrender are the same. One’s most outstanding quality is love. And God is love. So when you surrender to God, to Perfection, to Truth, you love Him so He can love you. This is what leads to union. Without love none of it is possible. Love does not mean surrendering to people’s personalities, weaknesses, inabilities, failures, or impurities. You surrender to the Divine, the Divine that is everywhere and in everything. You should not surrender to imperfections, disease, insanity and false knowledge. Surrender only to the Divine Truth which is in the heart of everyone. This is the act of love. Kripalu told me that for thousands of years, it has been the custom in India when greeting or parting to say, “Victory to God!” Jai Bhagawan If you like to read the remaining parts of his small book, you can find it here: http://www.naturalmeditation.net/Design/nmdocument.html

Thanks. Yeah..my perspective on life is constantly changing, but awakenings can often happen spontaneously, so how you spend your time and even your awareness and perception of reality can change dramatically. These are often very profound experiences, but you can expect many awakenings in a lifetime. Yet life goes on. But You are reborn. You do not “shift,” and go on from there, with a new, ‘spiritual’ perspective of life. “You” are gone. 100% stark, non-existent and gone. The “character” continues to move around. Things continue to happen. Tasks continue to get done. Movement moves. But “you” are not there. Life flows. But there is no longer a ”you” that watches, analyzes, judges or even participates in the flow of Life. You are the Flow of Life. You can no longer separate “yourself” from Now, from the flow, from Reality, as if you are this separate ‘entity’ that is the “liver” of this life. You are Life. As Life, you have no concern for ‘how “you” feel.’ Life doesn’t think about, or stop to alter, how It “feels.” It just Is. It just goes on. You just are. So there’s no “you” looking to see how you can make yourself “feel” better across your day. Nor is there an “enlightened” you “feeling” permanent Oneness and bliss. As Life, you have no thought called “I’m awakened/enlightened.” You’re just Life, Reality. Feelings come and go, phenomena seem to rise and fall, but “you” are gone. So You must just be a part of this One Thing. And of course that's just one facet of awakening aka no self.

For me, it started after I had a complete breakdown (the Dark Night of the Soul) in which I lost everything - I sank into a deep depression and lost my will to live. I underwent intense therapy. Then, after a little of unbelievable suffering, Iditating and all of a sudden I felt like my mind was expanding and I was in a different dimension. I felt completely alive and free and at peace. I felt like I was looking down on earth and I could see anything and everything. I saw limitless dimensions that I knew to be different levels of consciousness, like layers around the earth. I could see and be anywhere and everywhere in the world instantly and I could see and be with anyone, living or dead and I felt at complete peace. I felt that I was in heaven and like I had seen the other side after life and it was exhilarating. I came to truly understand incredibly profound things, including things that I had read before, but had never truly comprehended until that moment. I had the overwhelming realisation that when you want nothing you have everything. I felt overwhelming joy. I felt like I had everything, because I wanted nothing. I can’t describe the state of bliss, completion and peace that I felt. It truly was an awakening.

If you want to achieve endless orgasms one after another for hours, without ejaculating, try massaging your prostate. But it's a very hard thing to achieve. Although, you might be one of the guys that gets it quick. Look up Super-O. This is the Holy Grail of men's orgasms. I've read stories of guys having enlightenment experiences from these types of orgasms. Like having DMT-like experiences, or witnessing white light or eternal bliss, amazing stuff like that. It really sounds surreal. I've been trying for 5 years now and can only get an ejaculatory orgasm (still very very great, compared to a regular orgasm). But it's a mind reprogramming thing, which I haven't figured it out yet. Wonder if I ever will. There's a subreddit named ProstatePlay, you can check it out. Edit: Just read again the thing about your addiction to fapping. Yeah, I've read stories where guys would become addicted to this too. Why go out if you can have orgasms for 4 hours straight, one after another, each one building on top of the previous one. Fuck. I still want to do it though.

Yes .I no longer have any goals .everything is perfect just the way it is .nothing needs to be achieved. I'm perfect love and harmony. Eternal bliss .

I have begun recording my journey of Enlightenment in audio and writing format. You can find my writings here: https://jaronfund.com/phoenix-tome/ I have decided to post my journal in this forum as well. To paraphrase what I have written so far, I expound what I find useful information in my self-knowledge journey and what I have discovered to be of service in life. When I discovered this type of information it was understood that following one's passion is the point of existence. People's passion's vary, and most individuals do not follow their passion because of the pressure of society or others. For me, I always had an enjoyment of video games so I felt that perhaps I could pursue that as my passion. I created one such game titled "Path of Vidya" which I felt was good because it was a game that focused on non-violence, communication, and Enlightenment. The story is closely tied to my "awakening" experience into what I usually call "the greater reality", that had me in states of negative mystical experiences (sometimes labeled as schizophrenia). I had expectations that my work was going to allow me to earn a living and be self-sufficient, but I soon discovered that this was a misalignment to have any expectations at all, because it creates a desire that may be better left unfulfilled. This has shifted me away from lofty material goals and rooted firmly in the energy of self-realization. In addition to creating two video games, I have written two books, created animations, comics, digital art, music, and a podcast. Perhaps, one day I will find something that helps me become self-sufficient, but luckily through this external work I can realize that self-realization is before everything else, and what work I do feel personally guided to do, comes with the bliss of having zero expectations for its material success. So this means in every moment I focus on the energy field within my body, away from trivial thoughts, or even creative thoughts. Naturally, if I need to create, it comes through without the need for the incessant banter, and this allows my life to flow with relative ease and conviction. Though, only if I can focus on that, and not get swept up in the idea that I have to force myself to become better than what I already know I am capable of. The idea is that if I were to know I could be better now, I would have already decided to do so, instead of think about the possibility. In 2019, I became more heavily focused on politics than I ever had before. It is the single most dividing factor in our lives, and is a topic I am endeavoring to keep within its own domain because I discovered I received very little in allowing someone to represent my views and direct my life. While this may assume Anarchy or Apathy, it does not. I just know there is a path that goes right through the dividing lines, and meets with everyone's needs within the realm of free will. As well, as the free will for individuals to vote for a representative if they choose. Grasping these multiplicity of views (whether spiritual, scientific, political or otherwise) is definitely the whole of it, from my perspective. It made me go completely insane on a number of occasion. I have only recently been able to balance it to a rather stable degree. So many assume the objectivity of their reality without connecting to the expansiveness within their own potential. And so, I find my biggest challenge is often with the words I am using. Our words have to follow one after the other, and so much is left out or not focused upon because they have to appear to have a coherent trajectory in their logic or will be left open to being more easily misinterpreted and can then cause others to feel disempowered in their potential. (This is not an ideal expression, since all of us are capable of great conscious power, whether or not they presently appear to be misaligned in their endeavor to Enlightenment) When I was younger, I was completely imbalanced in my perception. Yet, during this most unusual experience, there was a small child who simply looked at me and said "He is a spiritual teacher". Certainly, that idea is quite attractive to me, and at the same time seems far away. I would not like to sound as if I know something more than what another already knows for themself, because truly the individual grows in awareness through their own volition and not through anything outside their own self. So it is probably something for the distant future, perhaps another life? There is still this matter of Enlightenment that continues to itch at my sense of total well-being. Which brings me back to the path of which contains a multiplicity of understanding. Often I find myself quitting all endeavors and just sitting down meditating. I make it an enjoyment to meditate for 1-4 hours a day, rarely, though sometimes, it is longer than that. Doing so has brought me far more peace and expansive experiences than anything else. And yet, I can understand that some have pointed out; meditation itself being a trap. Still, I can say that it is my passion to do so, and a passion to speak about matters that involve higher consciousness. I find myself constantly wondering if I am qualified to speak on such matters, since I myself, haven't fully realized how these principles are interacting in my personal life. For those who know channeled material, they will often point out that this does not matter. The exploration of these ideas, and the discussing of them, and understanding of them are one of the same. So one might as well speak with God realization now, because that is the truth of the matter in the present moment. I endeavor to embody that ideal more and more, and trust the process unfolds as it needs to. I will post more entries as needed. I only wish for humanity to find itself better adapted towards more enlightened endeavors in the future. And I do see, that this begins with how we interact with one another by way of the amount of bliss, love, and wisdom we allow our self to receive.

Ignorance is bliss.

@Godishere I just listened to Leo's solipsism video. It was by no exaggeration the best video he ever made .its a shams that he took it down. It guided me directly to myself as God. And I've also contemplated this stuff for myself for years. It's all clear to me right now. Im the only conscious thing In existence and everything is my dream .I'm eternal bliss and goodness that there are no words to describe. But you can get there through many ways psychedelics, meditative exercises. Or simply questioning the hell out of everything until you completely deconstruct your mind and sense of reality. There is only one Dreamer. YOU. YOU are imagining your parents .but not just them. The entire physical universe is your own imagining at work .

@Ulax practcie kriya yoga.kriya yoga gives amazing intoxicating states/ecstacy/bliss for hours.i had the best moments of my life from kriya yoga.no amount of money and woman will make u happy like kriya yoga

@Kalki Avatar Bliss tears and cosmic giggles. What more you want?

Hello! I wanted to share a note I took from Leo's video. I still love watching his relatively old, motivational type videos as much as i love his newer, deep, metaphysical videos. The video's called: “A Vision for the Self-actualized life - Get Yo Ass Inspired!” (part 1) Self-actualization is: The realization of one’s potentials, capacities, and talents The fulfillment of one’s mission in life A fuller knowledge of one’s intrinsic nature Getting really in touch with your authentic self Becoming a whole human being An unceasing trend towards unity and integration within oneself Maslow's two types of pleasures: Scarcity pleasure - relief that one gets from loss of tension and anxiety Abundance pleasure - ecstasy of functioning at one’s prime; the bliss you get from living an excellent, virtuous life, acing life Self-actualization is an unceasing trend/pursuit of: Humanity Creativity Knowledge Fairness Rationality Playfulness Authentic love Virtue Truth Beauty Feeling of joy Deep gratitude & fulfillment with life What’s possible for you: To feel Creatively alive every single day To turn your work into your top passion To make the most meaningful contribution that you can possibly make to the world To be a leader and be someone who’s inspirational to others To free yourself of your neurosis, fears, and other limitations To learn and master all the key areas of life (career, health, wealth, friendships, intimate relationships, self-esteem) To learn and master emotional development To learn and master family life ----------------------------- It continues though. I'll post the part 2 of my note later.

"The relative self keeps existing but you're not identified with it" is an accurate statement, but it doesn't capture the seriousness of the situation. It makes it seem like it's something trivial that you can shrug off. No, from the perspective of the relative self who transitions into this state, it feels like absolute death, and the ramifications are obvious: you will be dead forever and you will never come back, or even more accurately, you will be perpetually dying. Of course the upshot to that means immense bliss and peace, but it's by no means a joke. You're framing it as a failure to communicate while it's more a difference of emphasis. Enlightenment is not a joke. When you're given the opportunity to surrender, the question of dating or not dating should've been decided a long time ago.

I think the UK is similar to this, they love their monarch, no matter how many scandals the monarchy is involved in. I personally do not see a problem with Czar-ship or dictatorship as long as people are benefitting from it. These days I'm increasingly against democracy, not that I actively favor a dictatorship as I'm aware of the trouble, yet, democracy has huge holes in it and America is a prime example of these holes, it basically causes a bipartisan system difficult to control, there is more homogeneity in a dictatorship at least, since dissent is discouraged, it's like this forum, if you have too much democracy here, even trolls will get to survive and proliferate unattended, you'd need some degree of tyranny( although it's leadership not tyranny but it will appear like tyranny) in order to maintain peace by throwing out the trolls. Similarly positive dictators will be able to sort out the gold from the dirt much better than democracies and this can stop internal chaos. Democracy gives an illusion of goodness. But ignorance is always bliss.

Entry 12: Chaos with some bliss. This week I've been a bit of a mess. I wasn't used to working eight hours a day and waking up early. This messed up my sleep, made me sluggish throughout the day and when I got home, I barely had any energy to work on personal developement work. Only two out of the four days I read Limitless. The other two days I yielded to my brother wanted to play magic: The Gathering which I used the excuse of it being a experience that I was doing consciously. It was partially true however, as I now know I treated it in the same way I do with movies. A escape from reality for a little bit of dopamine that quickly fades away. I'll only play to bond with him if I have time, but other than that I will abstant from the low concious activity. Yesturday I watched Leo's Video on Being a strategic Motherfu.... (that word I dare not to say) - The 7 Pillars Of Strategic Thinking. It made me plan ahead and quite lilterally, force me to spend hours planning my future 20 years ahead. Now though, I know what I'll do as I planned it for more or less what I want to do. First I'll complete high school, get into a social science program, get a bachelor in psychology, get a masters and a doctorate in counselling psychology to become a counselling psycohlogist. I'll then work to pay off the debts of this. while doing so with part time jobs during my study and afterwards as well. I'll try moving as soon as my finacial situation allows, getting a roomate to cut costs. Finally, once I have accumulated enough wealth, I'll use it to get a life coach certification (if needed) and then start my company which will be healing people, followed by improving them once there healed. I'll do this until I retire, which I will delay as much as possible. However, when I do, my life purpose will be complete. This is probably the time where I'll discover the truth and take Leo's course on discoever it, which I hope he'll release within 40 years. Note: This is a rough sketch of my life plan, I neglected a lot such as relationships and the small, details plans to not write this all day. It is though, a solid plan for me up to now. Other than that, from Friday and forward, I've been reading and preparing to go back to school. The readings definitely helped me out, as it made me gain a insight/reminder of something I forgotten. I love to read! I've gotten a little stale because I wasn't reading and I feel like that made my days working as a janitor harder as I wasn't advance, making my life stale. Now I know though, I'll make sure to always read when I'm down, especially french fantasy books as it lifts my spirits as much as personal developement. (a little side hobby of mine to boost my morale from time to time when needed) That is all though, so see you next week!

My direct awakening experiences around reincarnation came from a few years ago after getting very sick, and while exploring memento mori, they have given me personally tailored truths, that reincarnation is the name of the game. If you have not experienced proof of this, don't worry about it - each person's path is unique and we are each given different pieces of the puzzle. The less you conceptualize it and the more you actually face your fears around death, if you have any, you'll be more likely to have a direct awakening into reincarnation. The process is called memento mori, and by learning about different cultures, by practicing dying before you die, what can happen is that you can get a download aka awakening into the nature of reincarnation. You are really just "here" and always were, but the outside layer changes. This is what goes on after death: Break me in don't break me down Swimming in these empty towns I wonder if it's all so master planned Diving into sweeter bliss Falling fair before we miss Taste the taste before it's gone and you're too late Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything Breaking out beyond the night Reeling in the quieter times Saving all the flavors of my mind Reflecting on the lessons learned The broken bonds and bridges burned Take the taste of hate and throw it away Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything Some sources on reincarnation: Jane Robert's Seth Speaks books and Sri Aurobindo's book "The Psychic Being" along with the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Check out NDE's as well, and listen to people who are going through the dying process. Get very comfortable with it. Start a journal. Live, breath and feel it = what is inevitable, the body will pass on... go through every emotion that comes up with bravery - nature respects and rewards bravery - and offer gratitude and Love. Love combined with surrender can wake a person up if they practice this. You have to go on your own path to find the truth of reincarnation and not what me or anybody tells you. Awakening experiences happen when a person is ready usually, when they have inquired into something with an honesty and a curiosity. The answers to whether reincarnation exists rests within this research, spiritual practice, honesty, open heartedness and bravery. Some questions to get a person started: Am I afraid of death? If so why? What do I think will happen? And then go from there. There's a whole rabbit hole when it comes to exploring this kind of stuff, most people that genuinely have insight into reincarnation got there through going through some form of a death, be it an NDE or a spiritual death, an ego death, even when someone close dies, they can experience loved ones giving them messages about the other side.

Burn through your karma. Shadow work. The best way to grow up the ladder is to do as much shadow work as possible. Really get to know everything about yourself as the human that you are, for this incarnation. Treat yourself as soul that is on a journey and is growing as much as possible. The Seth material by Jane Roberts and the Psychic Being by Sri Aurobindo are both good reading material that can teach you how to do this from a yellow/turquoise perspective. You'll have to do a lot of learning, detaching, and meditation. You will want to get to the point where you can see/feel the screen, where you are above your emotions and thoughts as the witness. When you die, you can imagine whatever you want. Nahm's dreamboard idea helps bring positive things into your life, and the actions you take will carry over. What do you want out of this life, deeply, feel into your soul. Love. Deeply. Do good things that feel in alignment with who you are and your purpose. Rather than worrying about the next life, make this one the best you can. This carries over, not the feelings of not wanting to be human - as the soul actually loves learning and being all sorts of things - what you can do is direct your life in a way that includes the next life. Do you have a goal that you would like to accomplish that would take more than one lifetime? Often, martial arts teaches that it takes a few lifetimes to become a master - and so people learning think in terms of next life aptitude. You can direct your soul in any way you like. But the best way is to open your heart and follow what that intuition tells you. Also, Love. Love deeply, as Love is what opens the doors. Practice Love. The soul has an inherent direction to move towards, and it is all just about uncovering that soul and moving in what feels most 'right' to you. Reincarnation is like a katamari, you pick up as much stuff as you can (learn as much) and when you die, you get to "make" your next world based on what you have learned. Maybe you will want to be human again, maybe something else. Think of yourself as an archeologist uncovering hidden aspects of your deep psyche. Practice your death, pretend you are dying right n ow and go through all of the experiences - do you feel complete, or that more needs to be done? Do those things, practice your death again - until you are at peace. ^Take what feels right and throw away the rest, or set it aside - follow what works for you. Break me in don't break me down Swimming in these empty towns I wonder if it's all so master planned Diving into sweeter bliss Falling fair before we miss Taste the taste before it's gone and you're too late Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything Breaking out beyond the night Reeling in the quieter times Saving all the flavors of my mind Reflecting on the lessons learned The broken bonds and bridges burned Take the taste of hate and throw it away Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything

@Koeke I'll provide some source materials, and then I give a few comments. Information regarding Khecarimudra can be found in most Yogic scriptures, such as Dattatreya Yoga Sastram, Goraksha Samhita, Hatharatnavali, Hatha Yoga Pradipika, Shiva Samhita, Khecarividya, and the Yoga Upanishads, as well as many others. I don't know of many contemporary writers that really have anything to add beyond what can be found in the source texts. In the past, this teaching was considered secret, and it was only given from guru to disciple. I was fortunate enough to have a guru who was well versed in the subject. In the scriptures, there are details about how to prepare for the practice, how to perform it, and what are the fruits of the practice. Usually the preparation involves cutting and stretching. I honestly would not recommend this path unless you are being guided directly by a knowledgeable guru. I will say that there is another way that does not involve knives, which is Sahaja Yoga. The creative force or energy of Consciousness is called Shakti. In the body, this energy is referred to as Prana. Prana is responsible for maintaining all the functions of the body, and this energy is subdivided into 5 vayus (literally "winds"). The two most important are Prana vayu and Apana vayu. There are thousands of energy channels, or nadis, in the body, but the 3 most important ones are the Ida (to the left of center), Pingala (to the right), and the Sushumna (in the middle). Prana vayu, warm in nature, normally flows up the Ida nadi, and Apana vayu, cold in nature, flows down the Pingala nadi. In Yoga, the Prana vayu must reverse it's flow and meet Apana in the Mooladhara, or root chakra. This is the meaning of "Hatha Yoga," which translates as Sun-Moon union. This generates a great deal of heat, which disturbs the Goddess Kundalini, awakens her, and ultimately motivates her to move up through the Sushumna nadi, pulling Prana along with it. When this energy reaches beyond the throat chakra, Kecharimudra is the technique that takes it to the next level, which is the Ajna chakra between the eyebrows. All of the physical postures, movements, and breathing exercises in Hatha Yoga are for the purpose of purifying the energy channels, uniting the vayus, and raising the energy through the Sushumna to the Sahasara chakra above the head. At the stage where Khecarimudra manifests, your whole relationship to sexuality is transformed. You'll begin to understand what true union and bliss really are. It's not the final stage, but it is very advanced. I apologize for only scratching the surface, but this is a very deep science. Perhaps if there are specific questions, I can attempt to address those.

@axiom His fear could be deeper than that. An existential fear of Russia losing its identity when the West gets too much influence over Russia. He already saw Ukraine slowly 'westernizing' and feared the same thing happening to Russia. That the westerfication of Russia will make it lose its identity, and in turn, makes Putin lose his identity. Because Russian culture is the only thing he truly trusts, and if that slips away, Putin will have nothing to hold onto any longer. A fear of change can be pretty brutal on some people, even if that change is for the better. A lot of people rather have familiar misery, than uncertain bliss.

Goals: Practicing yoga every single day. Full time yoga teacher. Building a 6 figure income through teaching yoga. Highly proficient Mandarin Chinese fluency. 10,000+ word vocabulary. Radiant health and strength. Be a multi millionaire. Buying a house. Buying a Tesla. Realizing God. Self-Actualizing. Happiness. Bliss. Peace. Calm. Joy. Attracting my Dream girlfriend and high quality intimate relationship. Starting a concious awakened family in 10 or so years from now.

@Raptorsin7 In hindsight yes. The journey has been difficult. Kriya brings up A LOT from the subconscious. No spiritual journey is a linear easy path. Kriya is a powerful path but you will have to face your self again and again. Deep rooted memories, emotions, traumas, kriya brings ALL that shit to the surface, no hiding. But after 6 years, now the fruits are truly being reaped. Was worth all the struggle. Life is Bliss. Life is Love. Life is Joy. Life is Peace. You are all beautiful.

The character you're experiencing is a character, i.e. an imaginary construct, that only seems 'concrete' and 'real' because you simultaneously imagine 'time', 'space', 'brain', 'physical world', 'other', 'self' etc. Consider that everything you "know" about yourself, i.e. age, education, friends, parents, siblings, job, country, year & date & time, girlfriends, life events, personality, that your body is 'yours' , every fucking thing in reality is nothing else than a story, a serious story, sure, but still in the end just social conditioning, programming. You're hard-coded by your genes and upbringing to believe you are 'a person that was born and that can and will die' ... The most fascinating thing we do to our children is we tell them 'please, Thomas(ine), be a good boy/girl and be it by yourself, not because we told you to!'... You see? We tell our children they should be loving, good, tolerant, well-behaved adults, while simultaneously telling them that if they don't feel that naturally, they are still sinning. You see how fucked up that is? It's called a "double-bind" (google the term). We are basically programming souls (our true most essential nature) into socially survival-oriented robots (ego) without telling these souls that we did it. Dude, all of your beliefs, age, history: it's all code. And you didn't code it yourself (most of it not, at least). Age? Who gives a fuck about age. Career? Who gives a fuck about your career. Beliefs? Who gives a fuck about what you believe in. Success, money, your outward fake appearance? Who gives a damn. Well, dude, I don't, cos I'm not sleeping in ego anymore, but most people actually seen to take all these 'statistics'/stories very, very seriously, and they seem to be happy with it (being robots, being asleep). But when it dawns on you one day, that the whole of your life has been nothing but code/programming, well that fucking hurts. That fucking hurts. Ignorance is Bliss as they say. But when you have that realization, you are basically beginning to wake up. And when you are completely tired of fake games and inauthenticity, well, then you're gonna wake up. But it takes time. You can't fuck around with ego or survival. It takes time. You are already completely perfect in the eyes of God. Reality is an eternal Infinite process/movement; and you're right in the middle of that process.

As @Tim R said, nothing really changed. The dream is still the same. If you could enjoy it before, you can enjoy it now. And as others mentioned, when you have a complete and balanced awakening, it's not negative, but perfect and blissful. You woke up from the dream, but maybe you didn't realize the other facets of awakening equally deeply. Every kind of negativity or depression comes from the ego. It wants it one way rather than another way. With a full ego death, there is no depression. But yeah I understand, right now you probably aren't interested in dissolving your ego more, in order to be happy with Truth, but rather to get back some of the illusion to enjoy the dream as before, the way your ego was used to enjoying it. If you want to go back, forget about spirituality and immerse yourself in the dream, after some weeks you will probably have regained a lot of the illusion (unless you went seriously deep). Or you try to deal with it, integrate it. After some time, which can take months, it will be the new normal. You had a deep awakening, but there is more to understand. Realizing how Creation is perfect, how Oneness is perfect, realizing that it is the best way it could be. Because it means that God is Whole, One and not seperated. You are literally all of Infinity, all of God right now, If you realize this on deeper levels you will realize the Perfectness and Love and Bliss and Beauty that Leo mentioned. Also, You are Infinity, so every person that could ever exist within Infinity is right here. Every possible human, animal, alien and universe shapeshifted into your bubble, became the substance of your bubble, become you, is you. You as God will keep dreaming and shapeshifting for ever, so from a relative perspective, all these other dreams, all these other forms exist too, and from that perspective you also aren't alone.

Sometimes i feel like "ok, i'm god , i can relax and enjoy" but then is that i remember how i created my gf looking at her. Like i designed it my whole to life to this moment, she told me i was god and everything collapsed into me!!! Time, space, her,everything. i gave life to her, and everthing else!! I have 0 idea how to life just life next, everything lost all mystery and meaning to it, instead of pure bliss. I can't tell it to anyone, because everyone is me, just a fragment of my infinite imagination. I'm all alone.

I know this, I feel this now. I am sometimes feel like almost 80% healed and it feels amazing. It is feel.. healthy and I dont need to go any further. I can function very well. Knowing this, I am excited to doing more inner work! Thanks. Need to feel the 90%! YES. Suffering in other side is bliss from God.