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  1. It still doesn't address my central point, which is that it's obviously possible to experience direct consciousness and one's true nature without ever framing anything through the word God. Buddhism (and the Buddha, for that matter) never mention God, either as a metaphysical ground or as an aspect of reality. And yet if you look at the global landscape of awakened beings, Buddhism has seemingly produced a great many more than most religions that use the term God in any capacity. My point is, the language is frankly irrelevant. One does not need to employ the word God to reach full understanding of reality. It is one term among millions that may apply, based on one's cultural and religious fixations.
  2. Not sure what all the commotion is about. Human minds are very thick and dense, and in this case...the word God has to be used to get through all cleverly programmed defense mechanisms of the Ego. Language can only go so far, and this word (necessarily) pushes it to its limits. If you still identify as a human, you ain't woke..no matter how "awakened" you claim to be. Most of you don't want to take responsibility for constructing all of reality, especially your problems, neurosis, bad habits and people you resent/take issue with. Being God means you take full ownership of every aspect of reality. And that is hard for many Egos/dense human minds.
  3. It was what lead to the insight of the middle way ‐ that extreme deprivation was yet another survival drive. He didn't actually have his final dying breath while fasting. That was only when he finally awakened
  4. Conflate means to, on a basic level, muddy two concepts to the point where they are useless as individual terms. If someone conflates happiness with success, they have entangled the two definitions to the point where we can't use them properly in a rational discussion. Bear in mind that at this point in your path (you are just getting into it, yes?) you do not have to take anything on belief alone. If you have not verified that consciousness is the only thing that exists (it is apparent with a little bit of contemplation, yes, but we have not been taught that in school and culture), then don't worry about believing it on faith right now. What matters is your moment-to-moment investigation of what is always true for you. Stay with that. Don't worry about what any religion, teacher, doctrine, book, or video tells you. You are your own best detective in the matter of reality. If you can keep returning to stillness over... and over... and over... again, the words will fall away. The truth will be made evident on its own. Remember—the human brain is wired to try to understand reality in a neat, prepackaged way that it can use to help your body persist. Its only job is to keep you alive, not happy. Let the brain veg out for a while. Let it relax, unwind, get away from the searching. Then the whole notion of enlightenment will seem silly, because it will become clear that you have always been what you are, which is awake. Enlightenment is merely the recognition of this awakened nature. Edit: I am aware that my use of brain here is provisional. Yes, there is no such thing as a brain, it is a concept. We get that. I'm merely using this language since it will resonate with most of our materialist upbringings and preconceived frames of reality The map isn't the territory!
  5. You have more work to do. There is nobody to claim consciousness. Consciousness is sovereign, and you are speaking as a human being. "You" as javfly did not make a single thing. If you think your mind is real and everyone else is a figment of your mind, you're delusional, not awakened. Consciousness is impersonal—it created you as well as everything else. One wave does not make the entire ocean around it.
  6. From what I understand, and I can be wrong... Leo's videos are wide and sprawling and cover a full 'spectrum' of personal development advice. With the internet today there is no reason as far as I can tell that a creative individual can't make a lot of money and free themselves from wage slavery by creating a lot of value in a field they are passionate about. I know many people who are doing this. For example my ex girlfriend does Kundalini and reiki work with people and she makes at least 6 figures if not 7. Be mindful of the distinctions you make. The higher spiritual values can be embodied by anyone. Hmm, for example if you look at the Susan C's ego developmental models you see that the ego goes through phases of maturity. The lower stages such as the achiever stages are really important I think. I don't think spirituality and massive success are at odds with each other. In fact, we need highly integrous and awakened leaders who are in business in all sectors.
  7. @Giulio Bevilacqua I had pretty mild symptoms, the bliss was way better than any of the mild symptoms. Just don't drink too much coffeine or nicotine or anything that excites the nervous system. If you are on no-fap, you can try to release some energy. If you have physical symptoms, then go to a doctor. Kryias are not only a symptom from Kundalini, but also a sign of nervous system disease, so you should get that checked out. Relax, it will pass and enjoy the ride. I recommend the "Awakened kundalini support group" on facebook. They are truly gifted in telling you the right things you need to hear.
  8. I viewed many videos on consciousness. But how can anyone tell if they’ve awakened? I had an episode of what I thought was an “ah ha” moment, but actually I was sent to a psych ward for 2 weeks for bipolar psychosis back in March. Everything felt connected. Literally everything I perceived was connected to my inner train of thinking. I can’t really explain it. But at the time I thought I had an awakening. My family thought I was acting out of character and took me to the hospital. It took a week of meds in the ward to go back to my original way of thinking. Was it just information overload?
  9. Awakened or not is thought activity, and awakening is not a product or a result of thought activity. If ever in question that is not ‘it’. Letting go of any questioning of it, can only be of it.
  10. I assume your question is: "How can I know that (e.g.) a spiritual teacher is awakened?" I think, especially at the very beginning of your journey it's pure intuition and a good bullshit detector. Unfortunately the bullshit detector of many people will not work properly as it is blinded by the ego. Either they are paranoid "This person is after me and my money he/she, cannot be awakened". Or it's too trusting "This person is sooo fantastic he/she promises to materialize all my wishes in x amount of time". So at the end of the day my recommendation is to grow with the teachers you are following and always verify for yourself what they are communicating. Always assume (not in a paranoid way) that they could be completely wrong. I think it was the Buddha himself who told his disciples to not believe a word. Are you sure you haven't had an awakening when your parents told you, you acted out of character? From the "normal" mind's point of view awakening is, well, literally losing your mind.
  11. Keep in mind that my videos are about a lot more than awakening. There are insights my videos could provide even to an awakened person. There are many insights besides strict awakening.
  12. @fopylo by experiencing it myself. There's also a little bit more to it. I think I was 30 days nofap when my K awakened. Also no sex in case you aren't abstinent, not sure about that though. Meditate with one pointedness of mind, wait for the stinging in your spine to come up, and then place your focus on it. It'll explode. @The0Self I have experienced piti, but it wasn't as intense as kundalini. A few years ago I was able to enter the first jhana for a few minutes every day. Kundalini is definitely forst jhana on steroids. However I didn't have a crown opening. What happens during the crown opening?
  13. How does an awakened being experience decision making ? By appearing to.
  14. Thanks for the replies, to everyone. Well, I get what you are saying. The Self is the one who awakens inside the dream, and not the imaginary people (my ego is included of course). But what I mean is that an awakened "person" is capable of showing that they are realized. I was just wondering if other people, EVEN THOUGH they are conceptual and not actual, can show this sign of realization once you realize the True Self. I guess it's still a game of duality that my mind is playing. Nonetheless, I found it possible.
  15. @Etherial Cat What I can point you towards is doing consciousness work that leads to realizing the fact that you've never been born. Only after realizing that you will be able to get it. What's gonna happen after you get awakened to this = realizing that Reality is conscious of you and it's happening in the same Awareness as the very 'thing' that's being aware of it. That's when you will see 'others' exactly as they are. Which is Consciousness taking different forms and interacting with You/itself. You're teaching yourself the way to yourself.
  16. If reality is infinity and and we all are God, does that mean there are an infinite amount of Gods? (Before you get solipsistic on me and say there is only one God and I am him, if i was to burn you in gasoline it would be clear that there is a soul/consciousness that will feel that pain, You. Of course I imagine that to be. But it is undeniable that your consciousness is also conscious of the fact that the guy burning is conscious. If your more sure that you are God and the only thing that has ever existed over the fact that 'other' human beings aren't also conscious and aware in the same way you then your deluded and not awakened. Which one is more self evident from your perspective? As Leo said, consciousness can be conscious of itself to infinite degrees. If there are infinite amount of Gods, does that contradict the idea of one God? If Everything is infinity there must be infinite amount of Gods? But in one of Leos videos he said infinity is equal to zero. By that notion God will be Zero, not one. If anything infinity is equal to one. One is whole and infinity is whole. For instance 0.9 is not whole or complete if reality is one? The collapse between self and other creates one complete entity. Which is one thing. If there has only ever been one thing that was God, the idea of infinity can cant be be? This is complicated and language is of course limited when talking about infinity... I look forward to reading the way your consciousness interprets this...
  17. As i got a glimpse of the effortless state of action (wu wei/spontaniety) i'm stuck in a horror loop since months now. If let go of control or just relax my body, it wants me to constantly whirl along my axis. The fact in it's self is not a problem. The point is that i can not do anything else, i feel that evrything i do i so focerced and in contrast within myself. When i decide to go for a walk or simply swimming the pull of whirling is comes in and creates conflict against my will power. I decided to let the movement express, and it was quite relaxing because it was releasing a lot of tensions. As i start to let go, the spinning becomes more more violent and fast till the point where i can not hold the speed so i have to stop. But it does not leave. I made some research and found Spontenous Qi Gong as a teqnique to express emotional tensions. Many says that this is a very dangerous state when you can not control anymore the need for the action. If you let express totally the movement after some time another comes in and another and another till you are dead or 70 years old. Obviously i can stop them, but it feels like repessing the need to go to the toilet. I can not continue in this state anymore. All that i do is distracting myself with food and excessive sleep. Waking up in the morning is like hell As my kundalini awakened 5 months ago, i'm working with a energy teacher. He always tells me that i'm control of my self and i am the creator of my life, but at this point it looks so stupid hearing this things, if i control the movement i inevitably supress it with ego. So i decided to take a kundalini yoga class with him just to see if the energy that is stuck can move foward. This post is just more to express my self, i know that nothing can help me anymore, also if a asked for some help from you. I do not know if i can come out of this shit.
  18. In case anyone is wondering, this is a reference to the "seven factors of awakening". You should study these factors and make sure they are present and at balance in your life if you want to be awakened.
  19. @Leo Gura So it does not matter how awake you are, you'll end up going back to sleep eventually? And this cycle will repeat forever? A while ago you said this: When Ramana Maharshi got cancer his followers tried to get doctors to come look at him to heal him. His response was something along the lines of: "Who cares? It's just a body." When you are that awake you literally don't give a fuck about anything. No condition of life is better than any other. An fully awakened person cannot die. He is conscious forever, regardless of what happens to his body. So losing the body makes no difference. -- How can he be conscious forever if God is eternally playing this game of dreaming and waking up?
  20. @Etherial Cat It's not as simple as it sounds... There are various things to consider here that might explain why that desire can turn into action: This desire for variety is rarely talked about during the initial phases of a relationship. The woman usually assumes that the man will be loyal only to her without actually addressing his true authentic desires. The woman does not even want to admit that possibility to herself, let alone encouraging her partner to confess about it. What if polyamory was his true authentic desire? Does that mean the end of a potentially good relationship? Even worse, what if it he wasn't aware of his desire but she awakened him to it? Doesn't that sub-communicate a submission of some kind on her part? The man assumes that he will not need another woman next to the one he's committing to. He doesn't know himself fully yet. The average male is not conscious enough to know himself fully. Therefore, the desire for variety will manifest later after fulfilling the more basic desire for sex. Thanks to feminism, the norm nowadays is to have only one partner. This makes the discussion suggested above more awkward and less likely to happen. Even if that discussion takes place, the man won't likely be able to tell the truth (assuming he knows himself fully), because that'll hurt his chances with the current woman, and therefore take him from monogamy down to "no gamy" There are probably more points to consider, but that should be a good start for a discussion.
  21. You as God become God - full stop. It is usually a series of glimpses followed by full on awakenings...Becoming conscious that you are God is the death of the idea or illusion that you are a human. That was just an idea and you as the ego are an idea being imagined by you - God or Infinity. So what dies or falls away is the idea that you were this character you currently believe you are. The Absolute cannot die. Now you will remain in human form until all attachments to this world are truly dropped. So the Awakened One is one who has awakened from the dream and has fallen back asleep but is now lucid. Yet they are still attached to this dream.
  22. I’ve copied and pasted below some interesting comments from Osho regarding the Science of Idiotism. Osho on Gurdjieff's Science of Idiotism Gurdjieff certainly forced people to drink, but only the people who were against alcohol. He used to make toasts every night for all the kinds of idiots in the world. He had twenty-one categories of idiots. I don′t know to which category you would belong, but you must belong to some category. Unless you are awakened you are bound to belong to some category or other. An idiot is a person who is trying to find joy where joy does not exist at all, who is trying to search for something which he has never lost in the first place. The enlightened person is one who has looked into his being before searching for anything anywhere else. It is better to look in your own house. He has looked in and has found it there. Now his search has disappeared. The person who is interested in alcohol must be living in misery, in a kind of suffering. That′s why he wants somehow to forget it all. Alcohol is nothing but a chemical strategy to forget your miseries, anxieties, your problems, to forget yourself. My whole effort here is to help you to remember yourself - and you want to forget yourself. By forgetting yourself you will be creating more and more hell for yourself and for others. Remember, rather, remember yourself. My methods are different from George Gurdjieff′s. I am not in favor of any alcoholic beverages. I am not in favor of any psychedelic drugs either, because they all create illusory worlds for you and they all are distractions. They make you more and more oblivious of your own being, unaware of your own self. My work is based in awareness. The word ′awareness′ is the golden key here, the master key. You have to learn to be more aware. Howsoever painful it is in the beginning, be more aware, because it is by becoming more aware that one day you will become part of the celebration of the whole. Aes Dhammo Sanantano - this is the eternal inexhaustible law. taken from https://www.satrakshita.com/osho_on_the_science_of_idiotism.htm More here about the Science of Idiotism from the same website - https://www.satrakshita.com/the_science_of_idiotism.htm There are several discrepancies among those who are brave or foolish enough to offer ideas or facts about the Science of Idiotism. I’m still of the opinion that Bruno Martin’s book - The Realized Idiot - offers the most complete view of any one work.
  23. @Girzo For some reason i never got into Tool until recently and oh shit now i understand the hype Thanks for the raccomandation i'm gonna check them out, even though only instrumental music usally what i listen to (but i might dig it!). Anyway, if you like my previous pick, then i can raccomand: Black metal too has some awakened folks but i don't know if you dig it And if you explore the more experimental(wierder too) side of metal you can finde stuff like this:
  24. My dear friends, I thank you for inviting me into your consciousness. Action. Action is the heart of the sacred steps on The Path. Perhaps, arguably, even the most important step. It is such an important step that it is sometimes even called The Law of Action because there is a universal truth tied up with action. So let me begin by telling you about that. The law of action is as follows: What you do to Life, will be done to you by Life. Perhaps you have heard this expressed slightly differently? Perhaps you have heard it said: What you do to others, will be done to you also. I’m sure you must have heard this because the law of action is so pervasively true that it has found its way into every single religion and major philosophical system in the world today. It has been called The Golden Rule, as well. And, The Law of Karma. Most of those that believe in karma, actually misunderstand it. They seem to believe there is some kind of universal vengeance system. As if there is some deity that carries out punishment to the wicked. As if a life of hardship and torment is burdened upon you by some cruel being in retribution for past sins. Well, beloved friends, allow me to tell you there is no such thing. I will explain karma as I understand it in a future article. Back to Action. The first component in action is the thing that you are doing. The energy or INTENT behind your action is what fuels your action. If you genuinely desire to do a kind act for another being and then you go out and do something then it is kindness that you are enacting. It is kindness that you are putting out into the world. It doesn’t matter is the actual action is making a sandwich for a hungry stranger or if it is offering a friend a compassionate ear. What you are doing, then, is kindness. So that is the first component. The action carries out into the world around you the energy of the intention that is behind it. And just as with kindness, an underhanded, sneaky uncaring intention can be carried out into the world by, for example, trying to enrich yourself at the expense of your neighbor. And I use this word, neighbor, in the spiritual sense. Those that are around you. Your neighbor is other people; it is also the planet, it’s also the animals, the plants, the oceans, the air and so forth. Which brings me to the second component of the law of action. You might think you are being kind to this person right here to whom you are offering a sandwich. And it is true, you are. But when you act, you act upon the whole of life. A loving action done to any part of life, affects all of life. Because, All is One, remember. And the reverse is true. A negative, destructive action perpetrated upon any part of life, affects all of life. So, think about what your intention is, before you act. You are impacting the Oneness, not just the person, the neighbor, upon whom you are acting. Then there is the third component. This is, perhaps, the very least understood component. It is often not even mentioned when this law is discussed. It is the fact that your action is an ENERGY that is sent out into Life. It is like a signal that you are broadcasting. And then life takes that signal up and then reverberates it back to you. But it doesn’t simply return it to you. It multiplies your signal with Divine Will before it hands it back to you. Life is not just the sum of the parts: the people, animals, plants and things you see around you. Life is consciousness. And consciousness organizes itself. It has its own intention and will. Which is another way of say that behind everything you see around you, there is a divine spirit moving. That things are as they are because this divine spirit wills it thus. From one perspective there are many, many gods all co creating this reality. From another perspective all of these gods, of course, are One and these demi-gods together are part of the one great being - The One Great Spirit. Be aware that life will not simply reflect your choices back to you like a dumb machine. Or like a lifeless mirror. No. The actions that express intentions that are in alignment with universal will, will be massively empowered by that universal will. A small action that aligns with universal will, will be multiplied and amplified and will yield a great result. My friends, begin with acceptance. Then, choose your intention very, very carefully. Be still. Listen to your heart. Align with the divine will within. And only then, when you have a great choice that you can really align yourself with, only then it is recommended for you to begin empower it with action. Now, there is a fourth component to the law of action. It is time. In the absolute sense, of course, there is only THIS moment, The Eternal Moment of NOW. But, relatively, do you know what time is? Science has no definition for it. I will tell you what it is. It is the pause that occurs between cause and effect. I am saying that the energy that you have put out will take some time to come back to you. And this, right here, is why you have probably not noticed the law of action. If there was no gap at all, it would be as obvious to you as opening a faucet or switching on a light. You do not doubt that the action of opening a faucet causes water to flow, do you? You do not doubt that the action of turning on a switch on the wall causes a light bulb in the ceiling to glow, do you? There is not confusion or doubt because it is immediate. But think for a moment: how would it be if you opened a tap right now and nothing happened. Then, you turned on a switch and also nothing happened. Then you did twenty other such things before, in a week’s time the water suddenly began to flow. Perhaps, you had opened and closed the tap three times already before it began to flow. And then, after another week or two the light bulb inexplicably began to glow. And to confuse matters further, between now and then a number of doors had opened and shut, you motor vehicle had started up, the lawn mower did a lap around your garden and your neighbor’s dog bit you. You would have to be a great deal more observant than the average human being is, to notice the causation between the first tap opening and the water flowing. There would, perhaps be some spiritual precept about taps and water that you may or may not even conceive of. And to further complicate matters: do you know that time is not the same for everyone? Yes, certainly, everyone has the same number of seconds in a day. This is true. But that is the illusory external reality that you are co creating. That is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the gap between the causes that you personally instigate in life and the effects that come back to you, into your awareness. You see, the higher your consciousness, the shorter the gap between cause and effect for you. Eventually the gap is so short that it is nearly immediate. Then you are very close to mastery. Because your will is then, nearly instantly done. The vast majority of all those upon planet earth at this time are not at this level. At their level of awareness, you can enact a choice today that can come back to you in your next lifetime. Or the one after that. Or the one after that! When you have utterly and completely forgotten that you instigated that action - THAT'S when it returns to you! This is not a mistake. Neither is it a cruelty. This very effect, this very large gap between cause and effect is the only way you can forget your own true creator nature and reside, lifetime after lifetime in deep forgetting here in duality. It is the only way you can believe yourself to be a victim. It is the only way you can think fear to be a real and valid response to life. It is the only way you can co create disastrous and painful outcomes for yourself. And beloved friends, I know many of you simply will not be able to hear this from me, but I tell you it is true: you actually WANTED to be here to experience this. You wanted this deepest level of forgetting because it is only from this place of utter forgetting that you can create yourself anew. That you can rise, triumphant and magnificent, into a whole new creation of self. Which is what happens to the awakened, ascended souls that arise from duality. When you are ready to return, you will return transformed! You will return with vastly more than that which you departed with. It is a journey that every single returnee reports to be very challenging but WORTH IT over and over again. And when it is time, you WILL return. But what I wish you to understand is that the process of raising your consciousness IS the process of shortening the gap between your causative action and the effect of that action returning to you. And as this gap shortens, so you become a more and more powerful creator being. In great part this is because there is less chaos in your actions between the cause and the effect. Let me explain it like this. If you open and close the faucet ten times before the water flows, its flow might be very weak when it arrives in two weeks’ time. Because of all the opening and closing. Because of all the confusion in intention: do you want it open or do you want it closed? You have not clearly and firmly offered life only one intent strengthened with one action. You have offered many intentions and many actions. Much chaos. By contrast, if you firmly open the faucet today and do nothing else, the water will gush from the tap when it arrives perhaps, tomorrow, quite strongly. As you raise your consciousness, so you reduce the gap. As you reduce the gap, so you empower the effect. As you reduce the gap and empower the effect, so you become far more powerfully aware that you are creating your reality. As you become conscious of your creator nature so you become more mindful of your creations. As you become more mindful of yours creations, so you create in a more orderly, purposeful way. And as you do this, so you align yourself ever more with divine will. As you align yourself with divine will, so you raise your consciousness. As you raise your consciousness, so you reduce the gap between cause and effect. Do you see? A cycle begins! And that cycle leads you to be spiraling up into ever higher levels of consciousness, creating ever more powerfully. Beloved friends, the law of action is the engine room of the sacred steps. It is what drives creation in this reality. Yes. It is true, you can act without moving a muscle or saying a word. You can act in meditation. Or in imagination. This is possible. But do you know how to do this? There is perhaps a handful of people alive on the earth today who REALLY know how to do this. People who have spent vast energy and attention training their minds. Such beings can act upon the world while sitting still. Are you one of these beings? No? Then act using your hands, your body, your vocal chords, you pen, your computer keyboard. Act with action. And this brings me to the final point of our conversation on the law of action: Now that you understand the importance of action now you might ask, “Yes, but what then should I do?” The answer is to go back to your intention. What is the change that you wish to see in your world? You will recall when I spoke to you about intention. I said setting your intention is like putting a pin in the map. It is like saying “I am going there”. Well, your actions are akin to getting up and talking a step in that direction. So check with your intention that you have set. Now ask yourself, “What one thing can I do right now that takes me in the direction of the fulfillment of my intention?” People often feel overwhelmed at this point. “How can I do something that takes me to my desired outcome?” they ask. Perhaps you are desperately ill and your intention is wellness. Or perhaps you are swamped in debt and your intention is abundance. Or perhaps you are all alone and your intention is to find companionship. Whatever the case is. At this point, perhaps it feels as if you are a thousand miles from your desired outcome. Perhaps you cannot imagine how you could in a hundred lifetimes get to your desired goal. Well, that is perfectly okay. Only take one single step in that direction right now. Remind yourself of your intention. Repeat it to yourself until you feel it. Then check: what you can do right now towards that end? And please, let’s not lie to ourselves here. If your intention is great physical well being, you cannot say “I am going to eat a fudge sundae for my health”. You know what leads to good health and what detracts from it. Do something that is directly about the manifestation of your intention. One small step in the right direction. Perhaps you choose to research good and healthy eating habits. And then perhaps you choose to make something good and healthy to eat. There. You have taken a small step. You are on the path. So, be clear about what you are doing. Keep choosing actions that take you forwards, towards your desired outcome. Now, equally importantly, you must also cease taking steps in the opposite direction. It doesn’t help to take a step forward and to promptly turn around and run three steps backwards. This is not rocket science. If you cannot think of a single thing that you could possible do to move yourself in the right direction then the first thing for you to do is to set some time aside to meditate, to listen to your heart. If that doesn’t work, find a trusted person whose input you would value. Talk things over with them. In any case, find something constructive, positive and specific that you can do that takes you towards your desired goal. Then do it. It is good if you can do something like this regularly. If it works out that you can do something like this daily then that is good. Do this repetitively. Get into the habit of taking positive actions and you will find yourself walking towards your desired outcome step by step. Do this and you will be enacting the law of action. You will be bringing the desired outcome towards yourself. Stay the course and you WILL see it happening. A journey of a thousand miles will foreshorten as universal will assists you and gives you wings. You will find yourself actually walking the energetic equivalent of, perhaps, a hundred miles if you act constantly. And if you act powerfully and purposefully and you raise your consciousness you will walk perhaps a handful of miles only and you will find yourself magically arriving at your destination. Friends, when the universe contrives to bring your desires to you, you may truly expect the miraculous. It IS possible to empower it further. And these further empowerments, that further reducing of the gap in order to create instantaneously, that is what constitutes the remaining sacred steps along The Path. I look forward to sharing these with you. Until then, I wish for you that you love what you do and that you do what you love. Greg M.
  25. The freedom from the cycle of birth and death can be interpreted this way. If you become awakened and you become God in your direct experience, you as infinite love/God cannot be dead/alive. Thus you are free from the cycle of birth and death and have the choice to stay in non-existence for eternity, or until you, as God, want to experience existence again.