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An awakened French woman asked: "In this materialistic age the real feeling of love is disappearing from our life, Most of the love we receive from others and express to others is superficial. How can we reinforce the real feeling of love in our own life and in others." False prophet says:

I would imagine all of the above honestly... there's no real telling. I have heard everything from, major life transformation to nothing really noticeable externally changing at all. It is very radical and fun to talk about so it does seem that there are quite a few that find a way to earn an income by sharing their communication whether by writing books, holding retreats and online discussion groups with those who are open-minded and interested in the message.... but it's obviously easier to find these people because of their popularity. Simultaneously I would imagine it must happen all over the world and I'm sure some don't really discuss it that much at all.... I heard a story about an awakened guy discussing it with some people at a bar and his longtime friend grabbed him by the neck because he was so frustrated with what he was talking about.... So one probably should be aware of the company he or she is talking to...lol. When Awakening occurred here for example I still had three years left in the military before getting a retirement pension for the rest of my life. It just made sense financially for our family for me to finish up and get that retirement. Just simply can't tell it's fair game afterwards ❤

Any awakened being will tell you that Truth is the ultimate mystery. We can experience it nonconceptually, but it is impossible to comprehend.

Just because an awakened being tells you that the world is a dream or an illusion, doesn´t mean that you know what he really means with that. You are still thinking that the Truth about reality is just a view like materialism. You guys are not getting how radical this is. Truth is NOT a paradigm or a belief. You awaken to it. There are perspectives, views, paradigms, beliefs, and then there is the Truth.

Yes❤️ thought I just wonder how exemples of existence looks like. For example do these people typically get food by people for free or are there some that has had to work for it, what work? And what did they do for survival/bodily needs or preservation besides that? How/where did they sleep? And are there some great awakened leaders and what means did they use to lead people? Also do they forget to eat/sleep etc sometimes? Let's say you wander around the world aimlessly sharing joy on your way. Are there awakened people who has slept in the wild or is the preferred way sleeping in other people's homes. Or do the majority choose to stay in one place. I would be happy for any answer? thanks for your precious time?

@VeganAwake I wonder what historically people who have "liberated" awakened what they choose to do. Did some only do meditation, did some wander the world, did some be a leader or a teacher etc.

I would have never Awakened if it was not for Her

Thank you for the contribution and follow-up, mr Origins~ yes it is pretty cool, after all, and you are too, but… How much did all that have in context with the OP? Free-wheeling through what you thought you read isn't cool.. However good your points may be, you completely misunderstand the context of "get rid of", so going off on tangents in terms of the aspects of conditioned perception illustrated by the conceptual aid you employed as the "lens", goes far afield. I can't believe you actually studied the poem to have come up with your long responses relative to someone else who also missed the point of the OP. Please make note: the issue is not a question of a quality of perceptive breadth, or a need for a compensatory action, it is the evidence of The StarGuitarist's failure to grasp the point of the 500 year old and famously conveyed message— or else he was too much in a hurry to actually articulate anything at all relevant to the topic, hence the graphic throw-away. It is essentially a cheap post. He's whining. WTF. TheStarGuitarist posted a cartoon that laments an ever present condition being loneliness. The Solitary Bird is a Master Class on the benefits of aloneness. Actually, it is a consice treatise which cuts through to the marrow on how to live one's life audaciously, in terms of accessing one's inherent potential. Obviously, in complaining about such an existential affliction, one can easily deduce that the author of the post didn't get the point of the poem in the first place, and that the complaint is obviously a priori, a persistent object of aversion. Therefore, it is beyond obvious that most people are of the mind to get rid of such afflictions. I did not bring up the idea of getting rid of even the object of aversion. I said to get rid of the source of the aversion— which is, the TheStarGuitarist's perspective based on habit-patterned conditioned awareness. Therefore loneliness, or even working with such affliction per se, has nothing to do with the content of the subject of this thread. This thread is about the message embedded in the poem, which is a study on enlightening activity. Please keep comments on-topic and avoid drifting off on unrelated tangents. Nothing on this thread pertains to therapeutic technique(s) nor those who need fixing. The subject is the OP. TheStarGuitarist's post is utterly off-topic in terms of the thrust of the teaching employed by San Juan de la Cruz in his The Solitary Bird because the post's content shows a complete ignorance of the obvious enlightening, uplifting, inspirational and self-empowering knowledge embedded in its few short lines. The purpose of the thread is to extoll the obvious enlightening, uplifting, inspirational and self-empowering knowledge embedded in its few short lines, and to provide a venue for relevant commentary on the specifics introduced in the poem. You did not even attempt that much, hence the expression of my displeasure in your off-topic post. The source of the off-topic lament is the cartoon's insinuation by way of the the self-importance of ego-consciousness masquerading as melancholy, or existential self-consciousness. THIS is what is to be gotten rid of. There is no need to employ a lens— one must completely forget to come up with such garbage in the first place, non? Whereas the ignorant are, for the most part, barely cognizant of the sources of such affliction in their conditioned self-conscious awareness— they only want the affliction to stay "under the radar" and are incapable of addressing the root issues involved in attaining conscious enlightening liberation. The deluded are such by virtue of their penchant for habitually responding only to the seeds of ever-recurring growths of habit-energies cloying the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. To be liberated, as such, would be as if stripped of one's imaginary role in life, which is attachment to appearances and following thoughts relative to ego-consciousness unawares. That's karmic bondage. Otherwise what is the point of SELF realization? To be stripped bare of such habits. Yes! Again, let's not use this thread as a point of departure relative to therapeutic fixes for the deluded. This is not a provisional teaching. Do you know? What's my point? There is such a thing as advance practice beyond the reach of most people on a grand scale. You did not address any aspect of that in your posts. There is nothing lacking in the way of life of a solitary bird. Period. That which is advocated in the lines of The Solitary Bird is for those who do not lament existential process. That would be those who have awakened to inherent enlightening being. Why? Because existential process is where reality is found. The Solitary Bird is for those who carry on without bothering about such trifles as lamenting that which is, ie: existential process. That which is worthy of minimization and refinement until it dies out completely is the conditioned human mentality that obscures the innate enlightening function of selfless spiritual adaption to WHAT IS. A lens of any manufacture or design that can render reality in terms of the viewer's perspective, regardless of its angle of view is a provisional adjunct. Why? Because ultimately, there is no inside or outside— no viewer or viewed; beyond self and other, where would there be a lens to employ? For the initiated, this is not a metaphor. What is left when one succeeds in the (never ending) process of self-refinement (in terms of sudden enlightenment when one's spiritual potential is released for the first time) is the nonoriginated mind-ground void of self. This is the absolute. Advance practice for those who have subsequently awakened to their innate enlightening potential relative to endless self-refinement, is impersonally harmonizing the all-at-once Absolute with the incremental quality of conditioned karmic evolution, ie: the Creative. Ultimately these two are not different (for buddhas). Harmonizing the light of awareness to delusional self-consciousness is a thing (not really). It's buddhahood. Actually, in terms of buddhahood's application, it is called the "middle way" or, the Supreme Vehicle of Buddhas (Buddhism did not invent this. I'm just using buddhist terminology.) So even though the "middle way" has its place in terms of provisional teaching, as does your contribution— ultimately, enlightening practice (selfless spiritual adaption) is not a personal endeavor relatively based on even conventional ideals. There is no "technique" employed, simply due to the fact that one does not do it. In other words, one does not rely on one's own power. Such potential is inherent in the situation itself. It's not the person. So there is absolutely nothing cool about it. I want you to reflect on this fact. It's NOT cool. Why? What this is, is everyday ordinary entry into inconceivability by having realized inherent enlightening being's impersonal potential as one's spiritual function in terms of adapting to endless karmic cycles of birth and death without being subject to the laws of (karmic) creation. There is no other creation. Creation, karma, eternity, endless cycles of yin and yang are all different names for the same delusional quality of existence. Those who are deluded within delusion are buddhas. Those who experience realization upon realization are the deluded. You might not understand that. If not, please feel free to PM me. We all have our part to work out in this seamless continuum. The process of clarifying the foundation of perceptive qualities may very well include aspects of your contribution to this thread, but your point of address relative to "getting rid of…" is perhaps irrelevant (to this thread) because the comment implying there is something to get rid of (the affliction — and more to the point, the implied complaint in the first place) has no basis in fact with the point of the OP. Let's raise our game, mr Origins! Presence is automatic impersonal adaption to what is, not off-topic interjections of pet theories, however relevant they may be, or actually are, to applications of general enlightening practice. Why? Because, for the initiated, the first four conditions epressed in the OP address fundamentals for practicing the Science of Essence, not the dual aspect of the Science of Life, which is only addressed in the last condition (singing softly). Both sciences of essence and life are specific to taoist spiritual alchemy, not unrelated to profound penetration of the teaching embedded in The Conditions of a Solitary Bird. All such study of works by prior illuminates are conducive to talismanic receptivity. This means that only those who can look back, as such, and see the sign-posts in reverse, as it were, are on the dusty path of authentic entry and penetration into the mystery. What's so cool about that? It's not cool, mr Origins, unless you see the reality, and you don't . You should see that reality isn't a matter of technique; it's just real, nothing more, nothing less. At any rate, the point you wished to address had more to do with a quality of perception which would be well to pursue in appropriate contexts and not much at all to do with the subject of this thread which is The Conditions of a Solitary Bird. Please try to keep comments limited to: a thorough understanding of who said what, what was said, and most importantly, please strive to employ contextual adherence with the actual topic, however well intentioned and well expressed they may otherwise be. Please feel free to address the OP as soon as you want to, but please keep your content on-topic. Please read and reflect on the poem itself. I welcome your good points and skillfully written content in the future— really!!❤︎ ed note: typo paragraph 9

I want to let you know that I am really resonating with your posts around here and I am gaining valuable insights. I cannot add anything to what you wrote, I just wanted to let you know its not falling on deaf ears. Wish more join hearts and we have an awakened humanity, awakened to love. Yeah I am loving the not-knowing element, I believe it to be quite essential to life. <3 But this VR movie bit is out of my experience. I am a mere human in love in not knowing, able to feel deeply. If it was VR for me, I would not be able to feel like this, I don't think. And I would be able to do unspeakable things. Sounds to me like a trap! I don't know! That's the point hahah I let love guide me

man “Well, I came home, like a stone, and I fell heavy into your arms”. I could no longer carry this weight of living without you, and in my surrender, you opened my eyes. source These days of dust, which we have known, will blow away with this new sun. We were never apart, and now we are one in a world made anew. “But I'll kneel down, wait for now”. And I'll kneel down, know my ground. “And I will wait, I will wait for you.“ And I will wait, I will wait for you. man “So break my step, and relent, Well, you forgave and I won't forget.” Break my patterns, and do so in your name & in your nature. It is recognized you are ever-loving, I must let go the past. source Know what we've seen, and (know) him with less, now in some way shake the excess. Know this world as yourself, as I. Know others as yourself, as I. Recognize the suffering & inequality, discard your attachments. “And I will wait, I will wait for you.“ And I will wait, I will wait for you. So says man awakened: “Now I'll be bold, as well as strong, and use my head alongside my heart.” Fearless in spirit, determined in physicality; feeling shall lead, thought shall follow. And so says his source: So tame my flesh, and fix my eyes, a tethered mind freed from the lies. And thus shall you change, as I am liberation. “And I'll kneel down, wait for now”. And I'll kneel down, and know My ground. Raise My hands, paint My spirit gold! Bow My head, keep My heart slow! “Cause I will wait, I will wait for you“. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

You're welcome, sorry I can't explain this better but I've never been good with words. You were displaying a passive aggressive attitude which is not cool. Like Someone here said, you make it sound like there is a battle between you and others since you mentioned repeatedly about Leo, me and Nahm like we belong to some group lol. I actually don't agree with everything they say and Leo would say that I'm not awakened and I'm a devil. We're here to discuss, not to agree or disagree.

I'm not awakened, just very aware of self-deception mechanisms. If I can fool myself that I'm awake in my dreams, I don't see why I couldn't fool myself right now. The question you ask won't make sense until you awaken though, it's not the kind of question you can just believe from someone else answer, it's not really gonna answer it

If you’ve awakened then why are you still here in the same life you lived before?

"If I was awakened, and I didn’t have a Life Purpose or mastery in anything, would I be motivated to cultivate one simply because I would prefer it and for the fun of it? As if I was playing with lego? " Exactly, and you inspiration would be free to choose something that could make this life incredible.

I think you missed some words in the sentences, I don’t understand. Someone asked Eckhart Tolle “What gives enlightened people motive to change?” Eckhart used an analogy of sitting in a bus. Where he was currently seated, there was someone bothering him by making a lot of noise, coughing, etc. But there was a free seat across where he was sitting. So he didn’t just accept sitting where it was inconvenient, he preferred to sit on the free seat so he did so. But if there was no free seat, then he would just accept that there was no option and be content with that. Could that example be used here? If I was awakened, and I didn’t have a Life Purpose or mastery in anything, would I be motivated to cultivate one simply because I would prefer it and for the fun of it? As if I was playing with lego? If so, would it be a good strategy to continue putting my all into my Life Purpose right now, so I can save a lot of work for when I do awaken? Because I’d likely want to cultivate it even after awakening?

Make a search (ctrl+f) of the word existence on this page. Now check how many times I said existence. You're arguing with yourself. You have not grasped what I am saying, I never talked about existence. I was talking about awareness, the space in which this experience appears, undeniably. And beyond which space, undeniably, I cannot know, that something exists - nor that it doesn't exist. MU If I see a PC, I know that it has a hard drive and some mechanisms that make the PC work, without my conscious awareness of them. You say there is nothing in your computer. Bruh! That's like flat earth talk right there, but coming from a perceived enlightnd1 pov About your last statement: You are asleep. How do I know? An awakened being would not be talking to me about lust, but about love. Check yourself, my friend. Get in line and humble yourself, because Love is the highest power. You lost all meaning due to brainwashing of gurus, instead of listening to your own pure heart. Do not fail yourself, kind sir. Know that you don't know, or else you are just blissfully ignorant. Open yourself to something bigger than yourself. Literally

I will never be as Awakened as a Tree

The user DOtheWork recently created a thread, and unfortunately it got locked as soon as I posted my reply, so I have to post it here: @DoTheWork This is NOT "total awakening". When one is always living in the present in the moment, boredom simply doesn't exist. This is a classic example of ego thinking it totally "awakened". Take a break from psychedelics and work on observing your own ego-mechanism. This is a very serious issue, because a lot of people with big "spiritual" egos who start doing powerful psychedelics, very frequently delude themselves during the trips. What happens? The ego sneaks through the backdoor and starts to overtake the narrative. People report "channeling", talking with "entities", , living in many different dimensions at the same time, etc - not recognizing the imagery that they see and experience during the trips is just part of divine imagination. Because of this, a lot of people including LEO, delude themselves very heavily and think that they have "directly" experience something, when it was just their ego operating. (example: Channeling God, keyword "channeling" ) This is coming from somebody who has done a lot of psychedelics (including 20 5-MEO DMT trips and 40+ N, N-DMT). It is a huge trap (one of many), that even LEO as you can see is not immune to. whoareyou Posted September 17, 2019 (edited)

The truth is, no one knows anything. Even Leo and the most hard-core psychedelics users say themselves: "there are infinite levels of awakening left, no matter how deep you have already awakened". AKA I know nothing.

If you have awakened you should be able to maintain ecstatic states of being for a long time. And it will come naturally. Also you won't desire anything because you desire everything and you get everything so you're completely fulfilled. "I don't feel love, compassion and such, just blank "apathy", calmness, placidity, neutrality" There's a big difference between awakening and detachment from life. But if you are in apathy only about doing things then that's another thing. Also do you really want to get enlightened, even if that means death? Or do you want to experience enlightenment from time to time with lots of joy always in your day to day life. Isn't there anything you want to do for this world before you leave it? I now read your post carefully, you should not try anything with your mind trying to become unitive. "I can stop monkey mind in few seconds just by staring at it. Still, I cannot break through and I don't know what's happening." I don't understand, you shouldn't stop your mind or body consciously, breaking through is just letting go of body and mind? Not using it to do something. Your body/mind/energy should be as alive as possible but at the same time completely at ease. Did this answer anything for you?

Do nothing but what your body / mind want to naturally. Don't have any grip on your experience of life, just let things happen and you will experience it to the fullest. Explain to me what advice you want, what are you suggesting exactly? If you want to do something on this world, eating survival etc. You can't be enlightened, but you can be pretty blissful. When you have awakened you can always let go of ego and experience bliss. Every now and then you might see a kid laugh his head of what is the energy that that children is giving in to at that moment? You need to give in to that too, always give in to what you are feeling (when not in survival situations) and you will create a pleasant experience for yourself if you become one with it.

@Vittorio hahahahah be lucky I am here, I have awakened recently. This is how I did it when I was ready. See if I tell you to sit down and do nothing, there is the body, the mind and energy. You can control all of them. So I turned everything off and you become a dead man, like an old man without any life energy left that rests all the time. Now It became clear how energy is created, so all the time I create energy and spend as little as possible for survival or "the greater good". You don't control anything, let your body and mind do what takes the least energy or willpower or what you will call it. Your experience of life will not be set to what happens only in the mind. Sometimes a thought or fantasy will come, your awareness will be a little everywhere. Your mind and body will definitely give you the most ecstatic experience because when the body/mind without spending energy will choose to give you the most pleasant experience. All you need to do is focus on energy which is not something you really focus on it's more what's there when you let go of suffering. It's not in the body or mind. I don't know how deep you can go, probably enlightenment and death might happen. I have things to do in this world so I haven't a single day been able to try and see how enlightened I can become. You laugh a lot and probably cry every day out of joy if you do this. You go deep into pleasantness. Did that do?

RECAP Problem, challenge, obstacle Feeling depressed, suicidal, negative thinking of sufferable effort (Ego stories and games?) Having to suffer through work, grind, assignments in college Having to suffer through sufferable effort in general (throughout my history and life, although this may be a common problem) The "actual" (?) problem of Sufferable effort How do you solve sufferable effort? Solutions (Direct Methods) Outlook, perspective, optimism Consider your perspectives aren't necessarily the highest perspective Eliminate (or be careful of) nihilistic, pessimistic points of views, beliefs (on effort, sufferable effort, life, etc.) Incorporate/understand positive, optimistic, differing perspectives, points of view (on effort, sufferable effort, life, etc.) Be careful of the ego's stories Stop, eliminate, be careful of victim mentality, Don't be close-minded, don't give up, always try to find a solution, be a problem-solver, be a fighter, be a creator Don't overcomplicate it, Don't ruminate to much Pondering, contemplation, journaling Ask yourself question, question your beliefs, perspectives, interpretation Try to enjoy your current work, see what aspects you love Make the best of current work, effort, try to enjoy current effort/work Consider using supplements/drugs, consider using music, high energy music This can be ineffective if it is high level, high difficulty, a certain level difficulty of intellectual work Take breaks Work in teams and groups Consider, explore other types of work, ways to acquire basic needs Consider Part-Time work, minimalistic lifestyle, low-expense minimalistic lifestyle Choose a job (college or manner of creating money for basic needs) that is less stressful and suited to your needs Consider a trade Take a break, try something different, a physical job where you can have high energy with drugs/supplements and music Financial Freedom / Financial Independence Reduce expenses/liabilities (affordable housing, pay down debts) Create additional sources of income Find ways to be efficient Find ways to create efficient value, create immense value while being efficient, ultra-efficient Pursue what you love, find your passion, high-level interests If you love what you do, you won't feel like its work Make a living doing what you love, with enjoyable effort Awakening/Enlightenment, Dis-identify from the mind, Liberation from the mind It is speaking on your behalf and causing untold misery Self-experimentation Experiment with the solutions offered, experiment with your own solutions, experiment with solutions, experiment Acceptance, Understanding That work, effort, the sufferable effort is an inevitable part of life Know that life is a shitty deal, life is a shitty deal for not just me but everyone, understand/accept that perspective, "Just deal with it" Stop being a bitch, stop being a pussy (Indirect Methods / Worthy Endeavors / Solutions to other, related problems) Seek help Engage in therapy Using your mind to change your perspective is futile for some people (especially for those who live in their head), you need to engage your emotions strongly as well Engage in energy work Understand meaning Question, ponder, contemplate, learn, research, think about, etc. meaning Be careful for meanings surrounding meaning Eliminate video games, sex/masturbation (maybe just limit sex?~), alcohol, too much sugar, too much food indulgence, consuming too much media (especially social media), too much recreational drugs (weed included), too much partying/gossiping Eliminate all lower consciousness activities All this shit numbs you and lowers motivation levels Focus on your health, neurotransmitters, eliminate, replace, fix badly functioning neurotransmitters Focus on experiencing joy Find ways to enjoy life Engage in fun activities Ideas/Perspectives Death may not be an option (due to reincarnation, having to restart, karma, etc.) Consider "sufferable", unpleasant after-death experiences due to suicide Consider taking suicide off the cards It may override your higher purpose Find and focus on your higher purpose People who live to old age often comment that the time passes crazy fast anyway This is how it is, welcome to the human world. You don't have many options. You either own a business or have a job. In both, you need to work. Most people know life is hard, people with the highest levels of self-love are not willing to passively accept common outcomes Pursue what you love, don't overcomplicate Love is the magic ingredient that makes work not feel like work. You only call it "work" when you don't love what you're doing, Consider that modern life may expect to much intellectual work from us Consider that physical work can be therapeutic It can be healthy, exercise See the benefits, see the positive You may just take a break from your work and come back, take a break and work on physical work then come back Some forms of financial agency/security/independence are liberating though it is easier said than done Finances can be hard to get right if there is no external source of support ?~~~ (Victim mentality?~) Surviving on part-time work might be a more achievable goal Not working may cause mental issues, not working may be suboptimal There may be a certain kind of lethargy caused by a lack of positive engagement with people and challenges If you are involved in the right goals, it may not be an issue Your mind frame controls you, you look at reality in one way, while not being conscious that reality is how you see it Your mind creates the problems in interpreting the world See the deceptive nature of your thoughts, Do not trust your thoughts That’s the beauty of advanced personal development and spirituality, that’s why I watch actualized.org videos You will understand how reframing can solve the problem, only when you realize how your current framing has created the problem in the first place Its not always about re-framing, sometimes its about practice, past-experience, skill, strategy Have a positive mindset, think like naruto, think like anime characters, never give up (but I think still investigate, it can't all just be baseless) The effort you put in depends on your creativity, level of creativity Consider that you are in depression, that this is depression Possibly start to fear "meaninglessness" Go back to stage orange, lower level, previous perspective and see how I would see myself from there ?~~ My country has the most opportunities for whatever work I want to be doing, my country has the best ratio of self-made? people across the world I seem to be complacent and I am spoiled by my country and the conditions I was born in It can be challenging growing up with privelege because you are given a lot of things that other's work their whole lives for, and you see the emptiness in them and other pursuits You may lack motivation because your life is too comfortable right now Why does one lack motivation if their life is to comfortable? Isn't the lack of motivation a problem which is uncomfortable? Isn't the lack of results a problem which is uncomfortable? Life may take on more meaning if someone depends on you, such as a pet, child or student Why might this be meaningful? Awaken, enlighten, More spirit in your life means more presence, joy and lightness Awakening will let you sink into effortlessness, awakening is ultimate laziness With awakening, there isn't anyone owning the pain/suffering, which is a quantum leap Consider whether you should awaken, go down the awakening route Know it is an option if all else fails Only truthful activities remain when one awakens Directed energy to sustain activity dissipates if there is no point, purpose, it is non-truthful activity, a non-truthful activity, All activities done on behalf of a sperate self will eventually fall away as one treads along the path What these activities are in your particular case is something you'll discover as you go Further Questions / Challenges What is effort? What is sufferable effort? What is enjoyable effort? What is sufferable vs enjoyable effort? Is sufferable effort inevitable? Is sufferable 'emotional labor' inevitable? Is there are solution to this problem? Is their a way to eliminate this problem completely? Is suffering inevitable? Can you actually solve the problem of "having to put effort in life"? How do you handle, deal with sufferable effort while you working on solutions for it? How do you deal with having to grind in college (How do you deal with the suffering from sufferable effort? (boring, uninteresting, grueling, sufferable effort/effortful homework, assignments, zoom calls, etc.?) How do you handle suffering? Do you just sit and suffer (or fight and suffer)? Do you have to suffer? Is suffering inevitable? Is the sufferable effort of life worth it? Is the sufferable effort to eliminate sufferable effort worth it? Do you have to do sufferable effort in order to eliminate sufferable effort? What is the point/purpose of it all? Is that question voided, based on false assumptions? What are the perspectives, outlooks, viewpoints surrounding this? Is there something I am missing? Is the idea, perception, feeling of doing, effort an illusion? What level (or progress) of awakening does one have to be to realize this? (Is this full awakening?) does one have to be fully awakened to realize this? How do you love what you are doing? How do you create a love for what you are doing? Can we just see the world however we want? Can we create whatever framing we want? Can we interpret the world however we want? Why do anything? Why is it important to challenge yourself? Why is it important to grow? Isn't this sense of accomplishment based of false meaning and untenable? What is personal truth? What is subjective truth? Isn't meaning just bullshit? Isn't all meaning just bullshit? What is meaning? How does one understand meaning completely? Is having no meaning bad? Is meaning-less bad? What is the point/meaning of meaninglessness? What are the implications of meaninglessness? Is meaninglessness a bad thing? What is meant by meaninglessness? Is all meaning untenable? Can you still hold meaning even if all meaning is untenable? How can you enjoy meaning if all meaning is untenable? If all meaning is untenable what the hell? Feel free to answer all or a few of the questions above. Feel free to share your perspective, ideas, comments.

How I became the "human trash" of society: uncovering past traumas and a flawed upbringing During my upbringing I was always made to feel like I am someone special who doesn't need to work as hard as others do. This came from the fact that my parents actually believed I was specially gifted, and also the belief that since I am their child, and that means I am the most important thing to them, I will or should be be the most important for society and in other people's eyes. This made them never check up on me because they were so sure I was doing well. Even if I was lazy and did nothing, my parents didn't check up on me and how do I finish my homework. Sometimes I believe that growing up through communism they weren't aware of the fact that this materialism-oriented capitalist world has different expectations from its individuals then it had back then, so I won't be automatically taken care of by society if I somehow fail at life. This made them not teach me how to live in the real world. Because they didn't know how either. They're all retired, so they had money all the time. They provided to me all my needs, not thinking about the fact that I'll have to work someday. They never taught me that as an adult I will have to work, and that to work I have to have a diploma or the knowledge to survive in capitalism. They didn't know how to survive in capitalism either because my grandparents grew up in communism, so they didn't have any information or experience about the modern world. Mainly because they are so conservative that they don't interact with others outside the family. And that taught me in the early childhood years that making friends is "bad". So I didn't have any information either because I had no friends. I only had my small 4 member family, who didn't teach me anything about being responsible, spoiled me, never taught me to even make a meal for myself, never taught me to clean my room often, in the early years I didn't even know how to dress up alone or even tie my shoelaces (!!!), and they didn't teach me basic manners. And since I was without any friends, I didn't learn social skills either. I was a very neglected child. I remember my family watched television everyday after they finished doing house chores. The second generation of my family (parents) is and was always unemployed, the one born through communism.. The first generation (grandparents) had great success in life and expected the same from the second generation, or their children. I don't know why the second generation failed to achieve success. My uncle had great academic success but couldn't apply it to the real world. He was too comfortable and chose comfort continually. He claims he has a mental illness, but I simply believe he is reckless and immature, also irresponsible. But also fails to take care of himself and can not survive in the real world. That's not a mental illness, but serious character flaws. It does appear like mental illness though. So in a sense he deserves to be retired, but it's also a choice. Because if he wanted he could have great success. But he didn't have it. Maybe he didn't know how. Or had no motivation. Or didn't think it was possible for him.. But he gave me advice in my early years and during my teens. I thought the advice was good, but it was coming from someone who had a very unsuccessful past. His advice only made me weak and handicapped like him. For example, I'm physically healthy, more than healthy!, but he convinced me that I should never have a child because I will never be able to take care of him, abortion is traumatic, and poor child will be born handicapped if I decide to get pregnant. And he gave me a lot of advice that were about avoiding things. So that was one of the starting points that led me believe that there is something wrong with me as a person. That I'm somehow unhealthy, and I should avoid things that other normal humans do because I'm not like them, I'm just a handicap, a freak. So I became avoidant. I avoided tasks that needed responsibility because I believed I am not able to work them through. Or that I am not deserving to such "high" tasks, that I'm a lower human, a trash, so I should stay away from important tasks because I will only delay the progress of the community. Or that I'm not allowed to do things that are actually healthy and normal, so I avoided a lot of social activities because of that. And after some time people really treated me that way, and I really became a trash of society. Later on I made good friends that awakened me that I am more than normal. And recently I realized others are not better than me, or more healthy or normal than me. Actually most people came from worse pasts than me, had less talents, less intellect and problem-solving skills... yet they lived a healthier and happier life than me. We are all unique, with some strengths and weaknesses. And some of the weaknesses I was led to believe about myself weren't even true. Sometimes the opposite was true. Mom married, so she had the comforts of being financially provided. No one expected her to provide financially for herself. No one ever had expectations of her, of any sorts. But anyway.. She had me, the marriage got ruined for whatever reason, maybe physical and emotional abuse from my dad's part. I don't know, they never talk about it. So she divorced and licked her wounds for almost 20 years. But life goes on and in capitalist society no one cares if you have had problems of the sorts, you're just viewed as a handicap if you cannot find a job or maintain yourself. So she lives in the role of the mentally handicapped person. She didn't teach me anything about life. She is too self-absorbed. So what's my point with talking bad about my family members, you ask? I'm just analyzing the situation with a critical mind so I can get to the next point. I don't mean to sound like I hate them, I'm just being as objective as possible, or else I couldn't be radically honest. Some truths are ugly, even if it's about our loved ones. We have to recognize toxic behavior without bullshitting ourselves or minimizing the seriousness of the problem. So how did I become irresponsible about my life? I wasn't taught basic self-maintenance and survival stuff from an early age and I was spoiled I had no friends in my early years from whom I could've learned how to survive in the real world, besides, as a teen, all your needs get taken care of Family being retired and having no experience in capitalism could never teach me about the realities of living in the modern world My uncle made me believe I'm a futile trash. (indirectly of course) My mom still lives in the role of the big child, so she never taught me anything useful. She kinda neglected me actually, and I never got motherly advice about how to be a real woman. Both unemployed since ever, and retired, so never had to worry about financial issues, thus, they couldn't teach me how to make money myself. Or how to get a job. Because they had no experience in the modern world. My grandparents lived through communism, they had no information about how to live in capitalism, because when the country became capitalist they were retired already. So they couldn't teach me about the realities of capitalism either. But they didn't teach my mom either. All of them are living in an isolated way, because they have an ideology that everyone that is not a family member is a "stranger". Maybe that's a communist value? Or a Christian one? Or just a bad family-level trait? We have no family-friends, and acquaintances are kept at a distance, probably because they are ashamed of having no success in society. They think everyone is a stranger forever (unless they have the same kind of problems of course). So me not being exposed to many adult people early, and this way not having something to learn from or someone as a mentor that is also a healthy adult, I became unable to function in society. I couldn't learn it because there was nohow. The internet doesn't always talk about these things.. or maybe I wasn't even interested in the first place. Because I was taught that if I get a diploma, then I get accepted to university (false! you don't get accepted to university with a high school diploma only, you need to first apply to the university and take a test, which I didn't know in my teens! no one told me, because everyone knew, it was natural.. but I had no friends, so no one talked to me about it), and with the university diploma I automatically get a job (again false, you don't necessarily get a job, and if you get one, it might not even be in that domain! but nobody told me about this!). Nobody in my family knows anything about capitalism or the stage Orange society we live in. They're stuck at a conservative stage Blue. They never taught me anything about money, finances, jobs, relationships, sex, status, work ethic, success principles.. nothing that's a stage Orange value! I only in the recent years became aware of the importance of Orange values and integrating stage Orange. And this was by seeing my friends evolve and have success out there. I was lucky to have made friends that were actually hard-working and trust-worthy. I also had a 4 year relationship that taught me a loooot. Of course it was toxic from both parts so we had to end it.. but I was very lucky. And now I'm working on stage Orange integration. It's a bit late for it, I'm already in my early twenties and I have no real success in the real world. This will be a long road...

What the heck am I reading. Ofcourse your whole experience comes from within and all that you know is created there. Everyone knows that to some extent. You write it in such a way that unawakened people wouldn't understand and awakened thinks its bullshit to write it because it's obvious. Then every human creates a lot of suffering by themselves within themselves and it was completely their making. Me writing here is ego and suffering (same thing) and it is needed to do survival process and to be in the highest states of unselfishness. This is why saying everything is me is bullshit because it isn't in the interest of the reader, is it self satisfaction for you? Or perhaps you did this unselfishly for some higher meaning, I do not know. When you have awakened Survival and unselfishness is the only ego we tend to use? . Otherwise many have chosen to let go of all suffering and has gone so deep into ecstasy that you die, often referred to reaching enlightenment. Also everything isn't the way it should be. Yes in a way it is, life is what it is in your experience right now, when you are conscious you realise how you created this experience. Everything should not only be the highest experience for you but every human, most doesn't actually want suffering yet they created it. So everything shouldn't be the way it is.