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Don't only rely on one source, otherwise it will really become a cult. Actualized.org is useful to understand reality and spirituality as a sort of deconstruction or cleaning up everything until nothing remains so you can have clean view, but you also need to combine this radical non-dual approach to spirituality with other things: religions, scriptures, psychology, art, science etc. etc etc Because if you only have nothingness then you will turn ideas that people share on this forum into dogmas. Because you need ground anyway, and its important to update ground all the time. Don't follow into reductionism trap, coz model is required to navigate, you just need to update your model, never settle for anything even if you are super-enlightened. And nonduality is quite useless without traditional spirituality, modern teachings are useless without ancient teachings. Because these all are signs, maps, some better some worse. And always think for yourself, deconstruct all of that and then intuitively integrate each in one another, nothing can really be thrown away, its all has reason for existence, even if seems like archaic non-sense to you. And do this not for entertainment but well to survive spiritually, and to live like you were designed to live, and to find what you lost, and for that you need to understand what our life is about, and what is the true way, what is the narrow gate? To do that one need to think like child (have no prejudices and have 'magical' or symbolic thinking) patient, humble and mindful to his ideas, thoughts, experiences, even his 'truth-realisations', feelings, emotions, and even mindful to his mindfulness, and of course follow your silent soul within heart, its like compass without form, words, voice, it can somehow show you the way if you are mindful enough to follow it. Life is a puzzle and we are here to undertake journey, we don't really know what we are seeking, and dedicate yourself fully to the path, make it your life and mind that spiritual path is not just techniques, it is life, it is quest of life, its not just to be better person, it is really a game, a quest, a transformation from Pinocchio into a real boy, Jesus said only few will find the narrow path. While most on the path will be deceived by themselves, by their own experiences, by their own happiness.

Suicide comes up a lot here, and understandably so, our lives are often difficult and unnatural as well (no living community, we even work more than we did back in our hunter-gatherer days, we live in cities/small boxes) etc. And suicide is even the goal you could say, but not of the body, but of our attachment to ourselves as a separate body. So here's why the body/physical universe from my understanding has a purpose: - It exists. - You cannot kill the mental body (www.evidenceforthesoul.weebly.com) - In a physical body you can experience the collective human path of transformation/awakening, live a unique enlightened physical life and help and love others. - If you kill the physical body, you will be faced with the still unresolved subconscious: like the potential you still have for bad dreams: So you will then be faced with yourself, a mind reality composed of the mental tendencies of bodily/mental identification of attachment and fear. So if you cannot let go of yourself, you will probably reincarnate anyways. Not as a judgment or punishment, but out of your choice to resist the fullness of God/Self, and you'll come into another body to complete your growth process. (I once asked before I went to sleep about why I shouldn't kill myself with the intent to learn more on this: I had a realistic nightmare of being in a cathedral. Yet I knew it was also a mental realm, so I could use my power to alter the dream. Though I didn't like it there all together, the cathedral reminded me of the fear of God I think, and the raw stone of the raw reality. Then I saw a guy, and I got scared, I thought maybe he would kill or hurt me. So I tried to burn/freeze him with my mind to scare him off/kill him. I got spooked by that realization of me being a killer and I tried to run, and the people came after me imagined. Then I chased women to have sex (though I never have to rape for it in my dreams), for pleasure and it was unsatisfactory because I was still not at ease/afraid.. When I asked this again later, I also had a dream of a grown man in a baby's body, but the man was looking unconscious and a bit dumb, bewildered, frozen in unconscious fear. Which explains why some children are born very bright, and some are not. and of course Buddhism/Hinduism also talk about reincarnating depending on your level of consciousness). One last thing, a teacher I trust based on direct experience as well, namely Bashar, also says that physical life has the purpose of shaping your spirit. You have the physical life experiences under your belt after the life, and that grows you into a unique being, 'like fire to solidify clay'. And so after the physical shaping you can live forth as an (evolved) human spirit. -- Here's a cool excerpt from an awakening and of really amazing life story: And I just heard: 'For this, you're born.' I think btw suicide is different if the body is like old and sick and stuff and you do it with consciousness, you can say your goodbyes and love properly too. After all, everything is Self created, there will never be an outside source judging you. Peace

@moon777light Way bak in the day in 2016 when I was starting with my healing transformation I tried this one. It was real cool. It started opening my subconscious mind after some time in front of the mirror. I recently herd Matt Kahn mention a similar practice where youd combien his I love you practice with the mirror. You basically just stare into your eyes in the mirror, with your hand on your heart, and telling to your heart "I love you." Over and over. This is very potent especially if youre starting in this and wanna see some results! :-)

@Leo Gura no Leo I think u didn't read the article properly. God is both you and something other than you that is related to you. To choose only one of this is to adopt rational understanding of god: it's either this or that, either A or B. But oneness is both A and B, it's one and also it has two within it and infinity within it. Article points to that there is no separation but yet there are relationships inside oneness. How do you explain this relativity of oneness? Full circle is to go back to duality but now it's transcendental duality within non-duality, it's no longer a separateness of you vs world but nondual relationship of you and the world or you and the god. It's like early childhood - you don't yet have sense of self, yet you relate to your parents, you relate to the other, you even try to satisfy the other. There is no you but there is other. Stage 2 of spiral dynamics. You are one with everything but yet there is other, the other is you but also you relate to it. Otherwise there is no dynamic aspect of god, only static, and for dynamics you need to have something to relate to another thing. And you can become aware of it,its third aspect of absolute truth, its not concepts. advaita Vedanta and Buddhism are not the highest forms of spirituality, but very limited because their purpose of achieving moksha is limited itself. To pray to yourself doesn't work at all, on the other hand praying and submission to supreme god works, and it alone can lead you to enlightenment. In my humble opinion, you neglect the phenomenas of faith, devotion, prayer and worshipping to supreme God as nonsensical, but yet they can extremely speed up your progress. And they are the highest and most natural form of spirituality humanity has ever found, higher than meditation and self inquiry, because you allow god to do it's evolutionary job of enlightening you and harmonising you with the reality while you just submit, surrender to him. Just like he transformed monkeys into humans without monkeys having self-awareness and doing anything particular for that transformation, he continues to transform us. You probably don't like such classical understanding of God and think about it as mere concepts and dogmas but maybe you will understand what I'm trying to say through your own experience later on your path.

Some quotes. "NOW THE DISCIPLINE OF YOGA" "YOGA IS THE CESSATION OF MIND" "Yoga is a jump into the unknown. It will not be right to say ”unknown”; rather, ”unknowable”." "Mind is activity" "THEN THE WITNESS IS ESTABLISHED IN ITSELF. IN THE OTHER STATES THERE IS IDENTIFICATION WITH THE MODIFICATIONS OF THE MIND." "Don't identify with the self." "Total hopelessness means now there is no hope. And when there is no hope there cannot be hopelessness." "Knowledge is the most subtle food for ego: you feel you are something. You know; you become somebody." "Yoga says ¨ and let it penetrate you very deeply because it will be very meaningful ¨C yoga says that the more you are impatient, the more time will be needed for your transformation. The more in hurry, the more you will be delayed. Hurry itself creates such a confusion that delay will result." "If you are infinitely patient, this very moment transformation can happen. If you are ready to wait forever, you may not wait even for the next moment. This very moment the thing can happen, because it is not a question of time, it is a question of your quality of the mind." "You have to drop into it, not to reach anywhere. And the dropping is possible only if you are totally patient."

15 years of the: Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Research Project (MAPS project) shows that this medicine can actually can be used to treat anxiety.... that said, if you go into the experience with a lot of worry, that may lead to a concerning journey... if you can go in with pure positive intention/ or total acceptance of anything, then the research shows that you can actually re-wire your brain to be less anxious.... Leo advocates for doing this solo... but in your case, perhaps you may want to consider volunteering for their study and have help and guidance from a psychologist? or prepping yourself for positive transformation another way? I don't know and can't "advise" you either way, but it's cool to check out their research regardless: http://psychedelicscience.org/conference/clinical/johns-hopkins-psilocybin-research-project-studies-of-mystical-experience-adverse-effects-meditation-in-healthy-volunteers-and-palliative-effects-in-cancer-patients-implications-for-spirituality-and-therapeutics http://www.maps.org/news/media/260-lsd-psilocybin-for-anxiety

Kundalini ist the primordial force present in the human organism which lies "coiled" three and half time in the sacrum of the spinal cord or the Muladhara Chakra. Once aroused through meditations, yoga or pranayama it begins it's ascend through the spinal cord or chakras until it reaches the crown chakra. Once it reaches the crown chakras the human individual consciousness merges with that of the universal. A human being is composed not only of the physical body but also the astral body and the emotional body. On the awakening of kundalini if your emotional and astral body are fully cleansed kundalini can pass through the chakras. But since no one has a pure astral and emotional body kundalini will start working to clear out your " shit". This is known as the cleansing phase or "hell". This phase is also called nigredo in spiritual alchemy where basic lead is transmuted into gold. The subtle meaning of alchemy is the transmutation of the "leaded consciousness into golden consciousness. So basically the esotericalchemists where using the pirma materia ( kundalini ) to acheive this. . Kundalini transformation is a physical process meaning that the whole entire biology of the organism changes in order to fit kundalini's regimen. Please do your research on the topic. The aim of this thread is to give you a direction on where to look. here are some links that would help : http://ourlightbody.com/ http://realitysandwich.com/92275/introduction_u_g_krishnamurti/ http://www.kundaliniconsortium.org/2017/03/kundalini-transformation-part-01.html https://manly-hall.blogspot.de/2013/09/spinal-column-and-kundalini.html

Deep, I am not a guru... I am just pointing out your tendency to advice everyone and tell them what they should do, when you yourself haven't seriously considered walking on the spiritual path. I repeat, you only know what you read in some books... And you just told me what I should do. I don't need somebody else's certificate for my transformation. Whether someone believes in what I say or not, whether someone disagrees with me or not doesn't really matter. I am only interested in communicating the truth and I will be harsh if I think that it is really needed. And I remind you what I said in another post: The first step in the spiritual path is realizing that you don't know. (remember, you might have read books and understood what is said there; that doesn't mean you know)... I was exactly like you when I was 10 years old. I had read everything about enlightenment that I can lay my hands on. I used to impress people by talking about ashtanga yoga and samadhi etc when I was only 10 years old... that was in 1993.And I was full of myself . But only in 2002, I realized that I knew nothing.. And only in 2014, there was actually a transformation. Your argument sounds like a blindman arguing about colors with someone who is not blind. Once, I was a blind man too.. You are not realizing that you are arguing with a mask or a persona that is reflected in your mind..

Here I am. It's infinite. Haha. Do you understand? It is infinite! It's fucking infinite! You are the only thing that ever existed. You are Hitler, you are Jesus, you are a child playing in the sand. The ego structure is all a big infinite matrix. The more you try to deconstruct it, the bigger it gets. What does really matter? No matter what you're doing, you're doing correctly. You are in the matrix! I am the matrix. I am you. I am infinite compassion, infinite guilt, infinite shame, infinite hatred, infinite lives, infinite language, infinite porn. It's all the same thing. If you study computers, you will understand that you are exactly it. What holds all this web? Nothing and everything. Life is a fucking paradox. Infinite compassion or infinite hatred? The idea I have about my life and all my petty problems are joke because I am you. I am my dog. I am the dust. I am the worst criminal. On a different time and space. IT IS ALL A FUCKING CYCLE! HAHAHA It is infinite! It never ends whether you want it or not. Consciousness is infinite. We are all made of the same fabric. The petty that I have, you have also. The self-censorship within myself is present in all human beings. I am just a fucking cell. The strangest thing is that you cannot grasp this. It is as if trying to stop time. I don't know, I am just confused here. It all starts with the first step. All huge successes started with a first step. Do it imperfectly but start. This realization of our true nature requires tons of responsibility and at the same time zero responsibility. In a way, I am just a tiny cell of the Manifestation of consciousness. I don't have any fucking responsibility, and at the same time I know that the animals that are getting slaughtered are ME! All the children that ever felt hurt, abandoned, or rejected are actually myself. As I mention, it is infinite. I am you, remember? Haha. All this idea of "my" life seemed like a joke. Of course I will born again. I am infinite. INFINITE! HAHAHA. I am all that ever was. I am so grateful to Leo for all his hard work. I am so grateful for everybody who spend hours and hours on this forum and feel like you're destroying your life. All I can say is: it is infinite. Infinite births and deaths. Infinite situations. Infinite possibilities of the mind. Infinite lifetimes. You were Cleopatra. Haha. It is all one hahaha. Infinite judgements. Infinite shame. Infinite tension. Infinite relaxation. Infinite infinity. Hahaha! I feel so fucking inspired. I feel like I had a glimpse of who I really am. It's so crazy to see that this lifetime is just a cycle. YOU ARE AN ILLUSION. There is no one who is writing here. My cells are like cars on a busy avenue. There isn't much I can do except engage in consciousness. It fucking is infinte hahaha When you notice that, you will start laughing. This is all a fucking structure. The moment you brake it, a larger, harder structure emerges immediately. HAHAH it's infinite. All people you walked by today are actually you. You are your cat. You are me. I feel fucking amazing. A HUGE pressure was lifted off my shoulders. Sure, i will forget this insight infinite times, but it is there. No matter the situation, here you are. You are everything that ever existed. Just on a different space and time. You are literally your mom and dad. I am my ancestors. If we trace down to the start, there is only one. We are leaves of the same tree. Infinite leaves. You cannot die. What dies is the structure. BOOM! Gone. I keep repeating "it's infinite" as if my life depended on this. Ha. Having the insight of no-self, a natural feeling compassion arises. You simply get people. You are like, "oh, why i am going to judge this person if I am that?" I have been quite selfish lately, and that doesn't make much sense. To reach these higher stages, you have to face infinite fear. The bigger the fear, the bigger the expansion. We are composed of polarities. I had a very beautiful image in my mind in which i recalled a conversation i had with a close friend this week. i could see from his point of view. and i could also feel that he had the insight of interbeing. it was as if he was seeing and sensing everything that i was feeling because he is extremely developed and has gone through infinite hells haha. It is so fucking obvious haha. I am beginning to lose it. But... did I ever had it? Gone. "Make me one with everything." HAHA, i remembered that joke during the trip. haha. life IS a trip. infinite trips. haha. infinite hatred. infinite egos. infinite fear. infinite courage. infinite repetition because it is right under your nose and you don't see it haha. "You keep wanting wanting so much, why not want EVERYTHING?" Jack Kornfield it doesn't make much sense writing this name since he is me. HAHAHA. I can't stop laughing. It is all a fucking matrix, infinite structure. My mind simply cannot graps what I have experienced. I felt for all the highly schizophrenic folks out there (actually, in here (:P). Language is infinite. I have been a pretty lazy-ass guy, but to Existence this doesn't fucking matter. It is a never ending process. You = Buddha = Hitler = Leo = Donald Trump Can you see that these are only names? Do you grasp how shallow "names" and "dates" are? It is a joke to plan because all we have is the now. hHAaha. if you still have checkboxes to check before remembering who you TRULY are, well, the checkboxes are infinite. Haha. It is a dark hole. I am Christopher Hitchens HAHAHA. It is so hilarious. For most part I think, "dude, I am going crazy." Good. Awareness is beyond everything. Because it is fucking infinite. I want to program that into your mind. It is all infinite. Anyway, thanks to all the Buddhas, thanks to all my reflections I come across. Pure joy awaits you. And pure pain awaits you. Pure monkey mind. Everything I wrote is monkey mind. It is pointing to something greater. It is possible to escape the matrix? No, you're part of it. It is like a cell trying to rebel against all the trillion cells haha. haha. it is so beyond you. I want you to experience this. We are very priviliged to get the ultimate knowledge from all these amazing people out there - matt kahn, infinite waters, leo. People waste so much time with traditional dual ways of worshipping a God as if there were gonna be a "reward". It is like this, a drop of water remember that it is water. it's infinite, remember? i warn you: once you get this experience, your ego will quickly get bored. It will come up with infinite thoughts, judgements, projections. It's ok but realize all this monkey mind is like a never-ending hole. The more you engage in thinking, the more content is generated. simple as that. so what activities can you do that will bring you back into harmony? actually. everything is in harmony. The thing is, "other thoughts cannot deeply change other thoughts." The key is expand your awareness. And psychedelics are a HUGE time-saver (haha, time is an illusion). life is a trip. that's all I can say. hahah At some point I wanted to take more ayahuasca, but then I thought, "shit! i want take more of myself." it is as if i was in lack, lacking the proper clothes, lacking... always lacking... dude, remember to fry the big fish. things take care of themselves. it's hard to trust, but that's it. you have no control. but You have all control. i feel very humble. i feel like listening to people. it is all so beautiful. even lower conscious behaviors. they all stem from the desire to be happy. yet we don't pay attention to the results we're getting. anyway, that's it dude or girl. I feel in a way like just a matter of recognizing who you are. it's infinite fun. it's infinite seriousness. poles. positivity or negativity. We are included in everything. I feel like I am a cell telling to other cells that there is a bigger body we're part of. And this body is part of the cells of the world. And the world is a cell. Micro and macro. You are your heart!! Even though you don't pay attention to it, it is working 24/7. can you imagine that? it never fucking stops till you're gone. Haha. you'll be gone soon hahahha. me too i am the youngest, i am the oldest, i am the billionaire, i am the poorest, i am the saint, i am everything in between also. including yourself. hah. it is funny to send messages to your other selves. people, if you feel stuck, please consider trying psychedelics. i can understand why I have been going through hell. It is not possible to expand your awareness otherwise. haha. because it includes everything. well, as you can read, it is a real mind boggler haha. if you can let yourself go for a moment, it happens. you'll go, "OH MY GOD! that's fucking obvious." my desire is to be ok with being part of this matrix. and really, no matter what I do is absolutely correct. it never ends. you don't have to throw away anything. you don't need to get rid of your overthinking, your bad habits. haha. the idea that you have any control at all is an illusion. let us remember lavoisier (a.k.a., yourself), "nothing can be created. nothing can be destroyed. everything is transformed." transformation. you are a metamorphosis of your dad and mom ahaha. i am laughing so hard at myself right now because "i exist as i am. that is enough." you don't to change the world. when you change yourself, the world *which is you* transforms. there are the individual level and the collective level of awakening. I love this word. Awakening. You are the Buddha. Dude, how did we stayed for 42 days meditating under that Boddhi tree? to me, the message is clear: you have no control over anything. have you seen what happens when a person drops a bad habit? a brand-new arises. in most cases, it is even a worse one. we are so stuck in this vortex of endless information that we forget what is beyond all this. The Silent Observer. actually, there is no observer. got it? probably not because it is ungraspabble. everything i wrote here is being repeated over and over. maybe it is time to take a deep breath. and learn how to surf. i feel like the more I write, the farther the Truth goes. Words are endless. Unfortunately it is not possible to feel it through words -- but only through direct experience. So I applaud you for being on this forum, watching Leo's content, and really educating yourself what is possible. Haha, there's nothing left to say. I feel like everything else is secondary. i'm curious to see my upcoming days. haha. that's a lie. haha. correct less, do more. dude, i feel so stuck right now. again, i am lost in this maze. i feel like i am slowly conquering my insanity. i am first accepting the truth that there is nothing wrong with me. i am perfectly fine. trust

@Deep Very good.. .. thats actually a pretty good decision That is a bold claim.. Good luck with that! Actually, it is better if you stay away from this forum. Because, you are right, you will end up in more confusion and more mental masturbation, based on how this forum is trending. So, your decision is right here. Not really sure what kind of experience you are talking about. If you explain a little bit about your experience, I can say something..But I still remember what you said in one of your posts here: And this is what you said in one of the posts: 'I'm not really seeking enlightenment. I'm just messing around because I have a lot of free time'...If someone says he is not seeking enlightenment, it only means two things: 1)His seeking has ended (he is enlightened) 2) He still has no concrete idea or even interest to pursue a spiritual path. So which one of the above is your case? Not everything in your mind happens with your conscious awareness. If that was the case, then everyone can be enlightened so easily. The reason why I even brought it up is because, it is very important to pay attention to your thought process objectively, when it comes to walking on the spiritual path. Do you think you can really read my intentions by just reading my words? Do you think that the words I have typed here somehow conveys the way I experience the reality? If you yourself are not enlightened, do you really think that you have the measuring scale to determine if someone is enlightened? My posts are not coming from the desire to be right. It is very easy to interpret it that way. I was just having an email conversation with a seeker today. And he asked me a question regarding the purpose behind my critical posts about some gurus. I will just paste my reply here; It answers the question you have asked: this question has a wrong assumption that my life is still driven by a personal purpose or a self-agenda. But all I know is, I do whatever that is required this moment. So, when I look at what happened in the past 3 years, one thing led to another and I finally ended up criticizing him, writing a book and maintaining a blog. I never thought that all this would happen and I couldn't have done all this before the transformation. Just think about a simple human nature. You see a person in the street who seems to have lost his way. He wants to go to 5th street in your neighborhood but he seems to be having trouble. A natural response of any human being here (who knows that neighborhood very well) is to ask him where he wants to go and guide him. Let us say you tell him "you are in the wrong place, 5th street is not here, you have to walk in the opposite direction and cross two more streets'; And the person replies, 'I think you must be wrong then. Because a person who knows this neighborhood in and out told me that 5th street is somewhere here'... What will you do here? You seem to be the only person who can help him. And you can't just walk away without telling him that the other person was wrong. You don't have to. I never asked anyone to believe in what I say. I only suggest two things: 1)open-mindedness 2)Skepticism My suggestion was only this, and I am stating this for the third time: Don't come to any conclusions yet. Because the nature of a human life itself is such that his conclusions get proved to be wrong again and again; and this happens a million times in the spiritual path. So, I am just telling you to proceed with an attitude of 'I don't know'... I usually remember the posts of a few members in this forum. And I can pretty much see how their thought process towards the whole thing is going. I still suspect that whatever you are saying is just 'bookish'... But let me tell you one thing if you are not aware: Enlightenment is pretty much a death. It is a psychological death that you have to go through... The words like kundalini, Brahman, Atman, God etc can be deceiving to the human mind and give hopes to the ego as if there is going to be some kind of achievement. But enlightenment is really not an achievement. Spiritual path is a game of losing. It is actually the most ordinary thing in the world. Just as a reminder, let me also quote what I told you in the other thread you created long back: "Don't come to conclusions yet... There is a long way to go.. The only sin that you can commit on the spiritual path is to coming to conclusions.. I am using the word 'sin' just to make a point, by the way. Don't conclude anything.. This is a rule of thumb you need to remember when it comes to spiritual path. You will come across many contradictions and confusions as you proceed further. There will be hundreds of moments when you will be tempted to conclude you are enlightened; and there will be hundreds of moments when you will be tempted to conclude that enlightenment is bullshit... You need to keep going non-stop, with no conclusions at all! Truth, God, Brahman, Atman, Self, Absolute, Tao etc are just different words that mean the same... It is just your true nature hidden behind the veil of ignorance." Finally, let me give you my comments on what you said in that same thread.. First, let me quote what you said: First of all, ideas about enlightenment are just ideas. The real question to ask here is 'Why do you want enlightenment? What are you actually seeking?' Seeking is actually venturing into the unknown. You are not sure what the end goal is, but all you know is that you are still seeking. That is all a seeker can really say until he is enlightened. Everything else you say are just 'ideas' that you pick up from books and other people. Enlightenment is not about just controlling the mind... Enlightenment is in one way like a peak where everything converges. You can't just define it in a paragraph... But the monkey mind indeed gets dissolved; it doesn't mean that there is a 'you' who has controlled it.. In fact, everything that you said in your message is actually true about enlightenment in some sense... But the first step in the spiritual path is, realizing that you don't know...

@BestSelf I see that the issue of self-acceptance is a recurring theme with people here. I was and still am guilty of it myself at times. You can't really do anything other than practice self-acceptance. You have to learn to love your flaws and be grateful for being able to identify them. If you can transform them into assets, do that. If not, accept them and see if you can improve on them in any way. Either way, you have to change from the inside out. If you try to just fix the external circumstances (your inadequacies) through different techniques and gimmicks, the insecurities and negative self talk will still be there after that. I was self-conscious about my sternum for most of my life. I have a condition called pectus carinatum (pidgeon chest). In the past, I wanted to do surgery in order to get rid it, but I figured I shouldn't just choose the easy way out, and thus only use it as a last resort. I started going to the gym and now, 4-5 years later, I don't have any problem with it. Personal growth has transformed the way I look at it and that's why it doesn't bother me. In the past I thought that people would laugh at me, saying that I have man boobs and things like that, but at this point in my development I wouldn't give a rat's ass about their opinion. I wouldn't want negative people like that in my life anyway. A change in mindset I think is required in order to provide lasting change. Adopt an Amor Fati attitude, as in, "one shall not want anything to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism should be mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it." For all your inadequacies are necessary. You must love them because they show you how you ought to do in the future. Do not judge them for guiding you in the right direction. In the future you will look back at your flaws smiling because they made you a stronger and better person in the present moment, they made you more equipped to handle life. Watch Leo's video on the power of self-acceptance (you can find it on youtube). Do the exercise there multiple times and you should start to see some positive change in your mental attitude. Finally, please realize that all outstanding growth comes only from a place of acceptance. A fat person shouldn't accept itself only when it has finally gotten fit. That's not transformation coming from a place of love for the body. A fat person should see the situation as it is, accept it to it's full extent, and start to change because that will lead them to having an outstanding life, not because they hate their current self and the way their body looks. I trust that you can spot the difference. Good luck!

@okulele Changing your diet radically will never work. It will just cause a yo-yo effect of binging and punishing yourself into eating less the next day. You have to find a way you can eat the foods you enjoy, eat out with friends and be able to drink alcohol without it affecting your fitness goals. You haven't learned the fundamentals yet. Let me give you an example. I am currently on a cutting phase. I want to go down about 8 kg of fat, while putting on muscle. Today, my first meal will be a chocolate cake that my roommate just brought me. And now I might hear you say.... "But Dan, how can you slim down by eating cake?". I can, because I know what energy expenditure is, because I track my calories and macros, because I do intermittent fasting and that allows me to have big, satisfying meals while still getting shredded. You have to learn the basics of nutrition, otherwise you are just banging your head against the wall. You don't have to only eat salad and lean chicken breast to get the body of your dreams. Read Eric Helm's Muscle and Strength Pyramid's books. In the picture below you can see an 8 week transformation from 2 years ago. I lost 10kg of fat there. I was eating fatty burritos every night, having a chocolate every single day, going out for drinks with my friends and much more. Once you learn the fundamentals of nutrition, you don't have to limit yourself to anything. You can eat whatever you want. Quantity is the key thing you need to track. There is no ONE healthy food. Almost no certain food is bad in and of itself. If you eat 80% clean, you can throw some candy in there. It won't make any difference. Consistency beats perfection. If you really want to eliminate specific foods from your nutrition, do it one at a time. Any more than that and it will backfire. Also, find alternatives. If you drink too many energy drinks, switch to sparkling water and so on. You get the gist. Read the books, apply what's there, maybe hop on a Kinobody program (search for that on google) and "Voila!", you have your dream body. Hope this helps. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck!

Regarding the idea that there's a lot of suffering vs a lot of non-suffering based on the pleasure-pain idea isn't entirely true. In the most central aspect, there is always absolute peace/joy/safety, no matter what arises, children and animals are closer to this, the natural state is true happiness it self. Then in the relative, there is pleasure and pain, which are truly are quite dismal. - Humans are just so ignorant of source that we think our the pleasure's/pain's are what it's about, completely overlooking our self created tornado of mind suffering, which is really the issue, and which is like a self-created dream, based on the fear of the imagined future. - And experiencing incarnation(s) of forgetting of Self serve a purpose, for the unique experience of being able to experience awakening out of suffering because it makes you grow as the particular linear being. Once you are finished with the human experience, it has grown you as a spirit, being wiser, greater, unique. Also, I've had 2 glimpses of animal consciousness and it truly great: natural, free, feeling at home. So don't worry about suffering, focus on your own transformation process, the universe is you, you are good.

Everyones journey is different but typically when someone dedicates themselves towards a releasing practice, a lot of dense or gross emotions/energy can be processed first as opposed to more subtle stuff. It can feel more physical and in the body. The process is the systematic undoing of the root of the ego. The emotional reservoirs which fuel unwanted feelings and behaviors can take some time to be fully released. They come under the appearance of challenges. I say appearance because while they may seem deep and enduring, often the depth of our problems are illusions of the ego which seeks to preserve itself. Use challenges as an opportunity to marshal your focus and reaffirm your intentions of transformation. Focus on your gains and keep at it. You will experience shifts that will inspire and motivate your journey.

Meditation: The First and Last Freedom by Osho Osho's words on the discipline of meditation. Meditation is an adventure, the greatest adventure the human mind can undertake. Meditation is just to be, not doing anything--no action, no thought, no emotion. You just are and it is a sheer delight. From where does this delight come when you are not doing anything? It comes from nowhere, or it comes from everywhere. It is uncaused, because existence is made of the stuff called joy! Meditation is not an Indian method; it is not simply a technique. You cannot learn it. It is a growth: a growth of your total living, out of your total living. Meditation is not something that can be added to you as you are. It cannot be added to you; it can only come to you through a basic transformation, a mutation. It is a flowering, a growth. Growth is always from the total' it is not an addition. Just like love, it cannot be added to you. It grows out of you, out of your totality. You must grow toward meditation. https://www.oshorajneesh.com/download/osho-books/Meditation/Meditation_The_First_And_Last_Freedom.pdf (Download in pdf)

He is great for beginners and also very great for understanding mythological symbolism and archetypes - this is his true strength, but in terms of advice to life, on some point on the path you will realise that you should throw away ALL advices made by psychologists. They are useless coz psychologists have zero big pic understanding of human-being and reality so they don’t know how to really grow, they can only fix some tiny problems here and there, give you instant short-term relief pills but they can’t really change psychology of human-being. Only TRUE spiritual path can. Also, JBP relies too much on his intellect, typical obstacle, Jesus didn’t use his own brains when he gave people real deal wisdom on how to be transformed, he received all the wisdom from higher planes of consciousness. That something JBP should do too in order to understand depths of human-being and life. See this is typical problem of all great scientists and artists, JBP is ready to undertake spiritual transformation but he doesn’t do it because he can’t stop his thinking process because he thinks that true knowledge about human life can be found inside his own limited mind but it’s not the case.

Everyone: A few weeks ago I made a run of some pretty scathing and barbed posts. No excuse. I was lonely on the path and looking for fellowship. Regular old monkey stuff, but here there's no excuse for things like hurting feelings or worse yet scaring off or discouraging younger folks from the most rewarding but challenging persuit within or outside of life itself. Mr. Gura said, "The horrid times are the best of times [for development]." but we must strive to prevent our defilements from leaking out and damaging others (whether you believe in such things as others/defilements or not). What I'm learning is that honest irresponsibility is still irresponsible and it has kamma (if you believe there are such things as "actions" and such). If anything, the need for not only a few little insights, but also the notion that transformation is a valuable tier of growth has been reinforced. This forum has a nice bumper crop of "beginner's mind" and we all need more of that....especially myself. Thank you and no need to accept any apology, but I can only hope it is witnessed. I just want to contribute...and share...and learn, and it is my dream that some day, i might point in some direction that could provide some much needed peace for a bunch of impermanent sensations. Here's hoping you all find relief from the pain of falsely perceiving duality. ...or worse yet, oscillation. -

@Shanmugam Jesus was enlightened but his teachings are ultimately about salvation, while enlightened life is just one important aspect of the path towards salvation. Mind that salvation in Christianity and Islam is something different than moksha, it’s salvation from Judgement day. And I will stop here because it will take way too long to explain that and my English might not be good enough to write on such nuanced topics. But it’s all about never-ending process of evolution. And it’s all really simple but very nuanced. Check out Sri Aurobindo and his disciple Mira Alfassa. They wrote tones of very dense and nuanced works on Jesus and so called ‘supramental’ transformation/evolution of humanity, and they base everything on their direct experience. If we take sources in English, I think pretty much no one, except real deal saints of the past, has understood Jesus and the whole point of spirituality and where humanity is heading to, better than Aurobindo and Alfassa.

@Jack_Clark Take it easy, love yourself more than ever before, relax into the process and know that the less you fight with it and the more you follow your intuition and what your body desires the quicker the transformation will be possible. It is going to change you on the deepest level only to make you into a divine diamond. I wish you relaxation on your journey.

The reason I ask is that I did 150 mics of LSD recently. I booked an air bnb specifically for the trip. I went into it with pretty serious intentions for personal growth and transformation. That's why I do psychedelics. And I noticed at a few points throughout the trip, this fear came up. I remember trying to rationalize why I was there. "Oh yeah, I'm John. I'm here to explore non duality and personally develop". I kept reminding myself of stuff like that. It felt like if I didn't I would get lost. I was in an air bnb on my own. There was another apartment above me. What if I got lost and started laughing too loud that they heard? Or started playing music too loud? Or you know, something like that? Also there were certain trains of thought I found myself going down that potentially led to a negative place and in turn a negative trip. Should we be willing to explore them fully? Or should we manipulate the trip a bit more to make sure it is positive?

@Saumaya I have questioned until I break all questions down to the one question..who am I? My belief is that I am soul energy expressed in a human form in this dimension. I believe that I am a piece of God or a piece of the Universe, whatever anyone wants to call it...Source Energy. I also believe that we are all one, but on this plane, we are expressed to look like individual people in a human form. I don't believe i was born in the sense people think of birth and I don't believe I will die. I believe it can be summed up that I am purely a part of the universe expressed as slow moving energy that is currently embodied as a human being. Everything is about transformation, being birthed into this human life, dying from this human form. Its just simply a transformation back into universal energy, source energy or God in it's infinite formlessness. This is my ultimate belief.....but I am open obviously to other views or ideas as not many humans that have ever lived as one have had 100% knowing to the core of their being, the answers they were seeking..

Earlier you referred to terrorists and school shootings as far more sinister than SJWs. I would definitely agree, but this propping up of one over the other is a criticism. Clearly infinity loves terrorists. Sure, alright. So let's just accept terrorism? There is no way we can consciously make a transformation here? Even acceptance and compassion can AFFECT CHANGE. So is that self agenda? Are all forms of self agenda bad? Yeah, terrorists conflict with my self agenda. Yeah, SJWs conflict with my self agenda too. I'm conscious of it, but I also believe I'm here to exercise my self agenda. Clearly infinity loves when we play out our agendas. Infinity loves to play games. So what if Jordan Peterson doesn't look happy when he's ranting against SJWs? Who said the point of life is to be happy all the time? There's also something called delayed gratification. Even if you believe happiness is the ultimate goal, the reason why you sit there struggling through meditation in the beginning is for some pay off down the line. Delayed gratification is the birth of spirituality. I'm challenging some of your points, but I'm legit working through these questions myself.

@John Iverson With man, the natural, automatic process of evolution ends. Man is the last product of unconscious evolution. With man, conscious evolution begins. Many things are to be taken into account. First, unconscious evolution is mechanical and natural. It happens by itself. Through this type of evolution, consciousness evolves. But the moment consciousness comes into being, unconscious evolution stops because its purpose has been fulfilled. Unconscious evolution is needed only up to the point where the conscious comes into being. Man has become conscious. In a way, he has transcended nature. Now nature cannot do anything; the last product that was possible through natural evolution has come into being. Now man becomes free to decide whether to evolve or not to evolve. Secondly, unconscious evolution is collective, but the moment evolution becomes conscious it becomes individual. No collective, automatic evolution proceeds further than mankind. From now on, evolution becomes an individual process. Consciousness creates individuality. Before consciousness evolves, there is no individuality. Only species exist, not individuality. When evolution is still unconscious, it is an automatic process; there is no uncertainty about it. Things happen through the law of cause and effect. Existence is mechanical and certain. But with man, with consciousness, uncertainty comes into existence. Now, nothing is certain. Evolution may take place or it may not. The potential is there, but the choice will rest entirely with each individual. That is why anxiety is a human phenomenon. Below man there is no anxiety because there is no choice. Everything happens as it must. There is no choice so there is no chooser, and in the absence of the chooser, anxiety is impossible. Who is to be anxious? Who is to be tense? With the possibility of choice, anxiety follows like a shadow. Everything has to be chosen now; everything is a conscious effort. You alone are responsible. If you fail, you fail. It is your responsibility. If you succeed, you succeed. It is again your responsibility. And every choice is ultimate in a sense. You cannot undo it, you cannot forget it, you cannot go back on it. Your choice becomes your destiny. It will remain with you and be a part of you; you cannot deny it. But your choice is always a gamble. Every choice is made in darkness because nothing is certain. That is why man suffers from anxiety. He is anxious to his very roots. What torments him, to begin with, is: to be or not to be? to do or not to do? to do this or to do that? “No choice” is not possible. If you do not choose, then you are choosing not to choose; it is a choice. So you are forced to choose; you are not free not to choose. Not choosing will have as much effect as any other choice. The dignity, the beauty and the glory of man is this consciousness. But it is a burden also. The glory and the burden come simultaneously the minute you become conscious. Every step is a movement between the two. With man, choice and conscious individuality come into existence. You can evolve, but your evolution will be an individual endeavor. You may evolve to become a buddha or you may not. The choice is yours. So there are two types of evolution: collective evolution and individual, conscious evolution. `Evolution’ implies unconscious, collective progress, so it would be better to use the word `revolution’ in talking about man. With man, revolution becomes possible. Revolution, as I am using the word here, means a conscious, individual effort toward evolution. It is bringing individual responsibility to a peak. Only you are responsible for your own evolution. Ordinarily, man tries to escape from his responsibility for his own evolution, from the responsibility of freedom of choice. There is a great fear of freedom. When you are a slave the responsibility for your life is never yours; someone else is responsible. So in a way, slavery is a very comfortable thing. There is no burden. In this respect, slavery is a freedom: freedom from conscious choice. The moment you become completely free, you have to make your own choices. No one forces you to do anything; all alternatives are open to you. Then the struggle with the mind begins. So one becomes afraid of freedom. Part of the appeal of ideologies such as communism and fascism is that they provide an escape from individual freedom and a shirking of individual responsibility. The burden of responsibility is taken away from the individual; the society becomes responsible. When something goes wrong, you can always point to the state, the organization. Man becomes just a part of the collective structure. But in denying individual freedom, fascism and communism also deny the possibility of human evolution. It is a falling back from the great possibility that revolution offers: the total transformation of human beings. When this happens, you destroy the possibility of achieving the ultimate. You fall back; you again become like animals. To me, further evolution is possible only with individual responsibility. You alone are responsible! This responsibility is a great blessing in disguise. With this individual responsibility comes the struggle that ultimately leads to choiceless awareness. The old pattern of unconscious evolution has ended for us. You can fall back into it, but you cannot remain in it. Your being will revolt. Man has become conscious; he has to remain conscious. There is no other way. Unconscious evolution ends with man and conscious evolution — revolution — begins. But conscious evolution does not necessarily begin in any particular man. It begins only if you choose it to begin. If you do not choose it — as most people do not — you will be in a very tense condition. And present-day humanity is like this: nowhere to go, nothing to be achieved. Nothing can be achieved now without conscious effort. You cannot go back to a state of unconsciousness. The door has closed; the bridge has been broken. – OSHO [The Psychology of the Esoteric – 1]

Dear all, I successfully published my first book 'The Truth About Spiritual Enlightenment: Bridging Science, Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta' in Amazon. It is available in both kindle and paperback versions. I am able to provide the kindle book for free for five days using KDP select. The kindle book will be available for free from 24th Nov, 2017 to 28th Nov, 2017. I invite the members of this forum to take advantage of this free promotion. Kindle version: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078494FQB Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1973364549 Here is the description of the book: "Spiritual enlightenment is becoming a buzzword. Enlightenment is a popular niche for people who write or read about self-help, meditation, healing, psychology and more. But do you really understand what enlightenment is? Is it some kind of altered state of consciousness, a solution to get high without drugs, a way to live life in 24/7 bliss, a myth or a complete scam? Is there any scientific basis to enlightenment or spiritual awakenings? This book has the answer for these questions. This book attempts to bridge spiritual teachings of Vedanta and Buddhism with science. It gives you a practical and reasonable path to end your suffering and live a peaceful, satisfied and happy life. Above all, it will help you to find your own way and follow your own light. The book will also introduce you to some important concepts in psychology, which are related to spiritual awakening. The concepts and solution presented in this book are based on the author’s own experience. It also has a chapter that narrates author’s own spiritual journey which led to a complete spiritual transformation. The book also has a separate chapter which talks about scientific research done on spiritual enlightenment."

Only you can say for sure if your seeking has ended. Is there still a craving for 'becoming'? What kind of self-agenda or to-do list you have for future? Do you still feel that you have to get somewhere? What @Saumaya has stated in his thread 'Post enlightenment observations' is the same as what I would have described if someone has asked for my observations on my own transformation. You can recognize such reports easily even though they are being conveyed in different words. The feeling of lightness in the body, the absence of distinction between inside and outside, a complete sense of freedom and fulfillment etc are some of the things which are common among such reports. But anyway, once the seeking is over, you will be sure that your 'personal' journey is over; Your story will completely lose its significance and you will not need any external confirmation. Also, since you mentioned about smoking weed, I can tell you that weed can sometimes give you a sense of fake enlightenment. If you smoke weed very frequently like once in a day and also meditating, it may be very convincing but it only lasts until the effects of the weed completely fades away.That may take about a month, sometimes.. So it is also very important to see how long it has been since you stopped smoking weed. Above all, one thing is very important! Enlightenment doesn't require an external confirmation.