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if I am God, why would I need to imagine anything? to imagine this reality, humans, me, Leo, or whatever? why not just be God and have pure nothingness as it was for infinity before?

This is life and death simultaneously. In your direct experience, see this. No one dies, because after death you’re either: dead and know it (not dead), or dead and not know it (not dead). There will not be an experience of nothingness, that’s for sure.

You did experience God and Love. It's just too radical for your mind to fathom it because you dove in too deep too fast. Rather than vaping 5-MeO, plug it instead and you will have a much better time and also deeper insight. Blasting yourself into Nothingness is not so helpful because you're not actually contemplating the nature of reality as you would do on a more gradual plugged trip. Lower your doses and contemplate reality.

Yūgen is an important concept in traditional Japanese aesthetics. The exact translation of the word depends on the context. Yūgen is not an allusion to another world. It is about this world, this experience… “To watch the sun sink behind a flower clad hill. To wander on in a huge forest without thought of return. To stand upon the shore and gaze after a boat that disappears behind distant islands. To contemplate the flight of wild geese seen and lost among the clouds…” –Zeami Motokiyo Japanese aesthetic ideals are most heavily influenced by Japanese Buddhism. In the Buddhist tradition, all things are considered as either evolving from or dissolving into nothingness. This “nothingness” is not empty space. It is rather a space of potentiality. If the seas represent potential then each thing is like a wave arising from it and returning to it. There are no permanent waves. There are no perfect waves. At no point is a wave complete, even at its peak. Nature is seen as a dynamic whole that is to be admired and appreciated. This appreciation of nature has been fundamental to many Japanese aesthetic ideals, “arts,” and other cultural elements. In this respect, the notion of “art” (or its conceptual equivalent) is also quite different from Western traditions.. Japanese aesthetics is a set of ancient ideals that include “wabi” (transient and stark beauty), “sabi” (the beauty of natural aging), and “yūgen.” These ideals, and others, underpin much of Japanese cultural and aesthetic norms.. Thus, while seen as a philosophy in Western societies, the concept of aesthetics in Japan is seen as an integral part of daily life.

I was thinking about how to survive jail. But then I thought - what I'm trying to survive ? I'm trying to survive nothingness. There is nothing to survive. When I was a child, I survived poverty. When I was an adult, I survived loss and pain. Loneliness. I don't like sunlight. It hurts my eyes. In jail, there's little light. I live in my chamber, locked away with little light coming in. I have to walk to the bars to be able to see light. This is an island. Very little activity here. My cell is placed away from the sun. So I hardly get sunlight. Only a few rays that enter through the slit at the side of the door. There's makeshift arrangement outside my cell that pretty much blocks a lot of the sunlight coming in. Some days they move the makeshift, and on those days there's ample sunlight coming in. I feel a bit abnormal sitting in this prison. Whatever you call it jail, prison. Prison seems like a strong word and a modern word. I prefer calling this jail. It's an old style of referring things. Before I can think of how my life will be after jail, let me think about how my life is being in jail... One thing....it feels like liberation. Nothing to worry. What can be a worse punishment than this, a worse form of ostracization ? They say I shouldn't torture myself. So I decided to torture myself in the worst manner possible.

I’m seeing more and less efficacy in my old patterns of limitations. What this loss of an ultimate working model over and over again to where what’s working can seem to somehow be less resistance than what came before. Ultimately any map of enlightenment is not the territory, unless you are using insight or concentration aspects to investigate the territory within the map which gives rise in some odd way to both the ability to hold religious God full-fledged, absolutely unobtainable new attainments in my focus long enough to investigate the pointed to sensate illusion outside of current sensate illusion that is the always YOU created thing. Jesus depends on you for relevancy at least as much as you rely on him. Trust me. You can forget the highest amazing live realms of Jesus over and over again because they simply do not produce lasting (permanent ground to reality being finally seen as FULL ILLUSION AND TRUTH ALWAYS IN SUPERPOSITION OF YOUR IMAGINATION OF LIMITATIONS WHICH CREATE YOUR WHOLE PERCEPTUAL CAPABILITIES IN WAYS WHICH WOULD MIND FUCK SKULL FUCK YOU IN SUCH A GRUESOME WAY THAT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THE NEW FRESHNESS THAT DUKKHA HAS SHOWN UP AS AGAIN. If you want the hottest girlfriend, realize that dukkha is the crazy chick who would never leave you whose love you don’t even deserve and avoid as you’re afraid of unopening your current illusion to another in the normal human experience of sex. I remember when I first attained to clairsentience & telepathy the first thing I wanted to create my now properly understood and appreciated aspect of the source of my longest lasting and deepest fear of aliens more powerful than me. Then I realized what they are on a self-love level and they can’t access enlightenment in their conception of self. They say it’s just a big black wall. They are formless god damn masters just as much as ANY born human ever is. A true self experience of a rock becoming enlightened or unenlightenment or the perspective of unenlightened beings is true and undeniable insight if that is the basis of perception your form has and the only door you have is impermanence. The form crumbles away. Gets thrown through a black hole, worm hole, and shat on by an omnidimensional formless seagull Godhead of nausea turning to rapture that pisses you off at it’s arising and passing away making you realize the unequanimous aspects of your power vs. non power feeling of achievement, greatness, and happiness which produces less aversion to bliss and dukkha as the same lover and hater of what makes you a human you and every YOU beyond human to produce the most imperceptible sense of something beyond just change to progress further in insight. Imagining how the unenlightenment of God process works in God Realization and enlightenment seems to be almost more fruitful than thinking of awakening as forward progress which does not last as an ultimate motion in some ever-present ultimate consciousness. Ultimate consciousness comes from a lack of even more wacky ultimate realities like hard formless Nothingness, neither perception nor nonperception, or the cessation of perception and feeling. If you haven’t lost the ability to stop or start the cessation of all consciousness, how do you describe that unimaginable sense of complete erasure and nonexistence which seems like where you might have come from? How do you knowingly design the unenlightenment process with this paradigm-locked false ultimate reality without ultimately becoming smaller and subtler WITHIN and outside of consciousness but even moreso in the superposition of ultimate faith of unknowing which is much more like true, effective knowledge of how to control reality comes from perceiving and dropping and coming back to every sensate experience ever held within your illusory character’s illusion of truth. That is the only starting point for the uncovering of the complex and ever-dependent interactions between the holon of Indra’s Web of superposition fluxing between all aspects of reality at once through imagination which is ultimately one of the best tools to actually do unimaginable and indescribable things. There’s a reason nondual teachings don’t work. You attach to a nondual reality which means all is self and that is the very process of investigation into direct no-self as the logical necessity of any self vs. non-self axis of phenomena which could be perception, experience or not. None of this will work for you unless you work hard, get lucky, or likely both. Luckily causal frameworks of reality are built into any true insight framework which solidifies the story from which to work from. That’s another way of saying, due to karma, you will experience the arising and passing away of enlightenment. You will become enlightened. It just is a bit more fun from the human perspective than the rock perspective for most people other than a mad yogi whose really going deep past the illusions of past humanness which would have given him aversion to incredibly subtle awareness like only really having impermanence in a way that life can perceive your experience. Then you have a problem of how you could be boundless consciousness or even infinite consciousness but not also be the consciousness that awakens the rock that you detune God Reality to be able to perceive in this special, human way. Humans want to find aliens more to understand the nature of what humans truly are rather than actually know what an alien is and forget humanness. This is the selfish perspective of the honest karmic relationship between seemingly different forms or non forms. You only really care about others to in some way help yourself as the intuition of true self/no self beyond a temporary illusion easily formed in consciousness is what makes up the process of enlightenment. Tearing down. Building. Change. Growth. New attainments overshadowing old. Giving you a new fresh experience of being even more directly controllable consciousness which is precisely what you are not ENTIRELY. This is the unspeakable part of teaching and insight. It’s how you can’t make better perfect from perfect other than perceiving bliss as a perfect dukkha nowhere which makes it seems lastingly satisfying.

@VeganAwake, @BipolarGrowth thank you! Good to hear I was traversing known territory. Before the sessions I set the intention to be taken as far as I could go in terms of understanding :). @Inliytened1 , logically though, the void to have the quality of love doesn't make sense as then it would not be nothingness. To experience the void and omniscience as one seems contradictory - amazing that you had such an experience.

I thought I would try and explain my mythology of existence. The narrative of a mythology is a useful device for both giving meaning and for understanding and which orient you in a particular way. Without these you are ignorant (literally: have no knowledge) and existence is incomprehensible (Latin: not perceived). What follows is my mythology which I have variously hinted at here and there on the forum. There are several basic players in my mythology. These are Time,, the Changing Aspect, the Unchanging Aspect, Distinctions, Unity and Narrative. They all interact with each other in various ways, no one is more primary than the other. I use the words God, universe, reality, experience, existence, everything, awareness and consciousness interchangeably below. Time Time doesn’t exist. It’s clear that once a thing has happened and is over, there’s no going back to it. There isn’t a chance to re-experience a past event in its fullness as if it were the present moment. We have memories, but these are not the same as the original event in quality. Equally with future events, we are yet to experience them in their fullness, even if they are likely to pass. With introspection it becomes clear that events in time only occur in our imaginations, time is just imagination. We experience time, but only by constructing it in our heads. The Changing Aspect Existence cannot keep still. Everywhere we care to look things come and things go. Even in the insubstantial world of thought and emotion there is constant flux if observed for any length of time. Why does this happen? Why isn’t everything static and unchanging for eternity? The reason is because the whole of existence has to be created from nothingness. If time existed then there only has to be one starting point or moment of conception, which sets in motion everything else. Conversely, if time does not exist then everything is collapsed into a single moment. No sooner has a universe been created from nothingness than it disappears back into nothingness. Each moment of creation is unique in quality. This is the source of the instability of existence, whatever process creates existence is free to do it as it wishes every moment. Put simply existence is being born and dies every moment. This process of birth and death of existence is instantaneous (because there is no time). Existence is in a superposition of both birth and death; our experience is both dead and alive. This is right, no sooner has something happened, than it has slipped into memory as if it had never existed. The Unchanging Aspect Despite all the change it is noteworthy that we experience a sense of continuity. Each moment of existence seems to be based on the previous one. We say that existence unfolds moment-by-moment. How can continuity be experienced in a universe that dies and is reborn constantly? By itself it cannot, this process is without a memory. Each new universe does not have to be related to the previous one. We can see that this is not the case. Each new moment is similar to the one that has gone before. There is a kind of “stickiness” to reality. This is the Unchanging Aspect. Like the Changing Aspect the Unchanging Aspect is fundamental to the process of creation. Whatever creates the universe likes to do it in a similar way each time. Without a brake on the process of creation of that happens each moment, eternity would happen in an instant. The Unchanging Aspect works in opposition to change to act as that brake and so that it unfolds at a finite pace. The interplay between the two forces of change and stillness is what creates our experience of steady change. From this balance we a free to construct time in our minds. The stillness within existence also gives us our memories. It makes previous incarnations of the universe stick around so that we can relive (in a reduced form) past events. It also confers our sense of continuity of both ourselves and existence itself. Yes we are created and destroyed every moment, but the Unchanging Aspect ensures that we don’t disappear forever. The Unchanging Aspect is also what creates order from the chaos of creation. It gives us meaning and narrative from an otherwise completely arbitrary existence. It is the thread of existence. Distinctions What does it mean for something to exist? On the face of it the thing is there, it is, we are aware of it. We could leave it at that and agree that awareness alone is enough to confer existence to phenomena in experience. This is true. But existence is also distinction. When we’re aware of the table we are sat at, it is distinct from all the other things around it. In some way the table is contrasted with everything else around it. Another way to look at it is to see the table has a boundary. There is a separation between table and not-table, with a kind of imaginary thin line or boundary separating the two. This idea of a boundary is important, because it demarcates where one thing ends and another begins. If you are God and begin with a blank canvas (nothingness), it has no boundaries contained within it at all. Nothing exists in nothingness (!) precisely because nothing is to be distinguished, because there are no boundaries drawn around anything. It is a moot point whether nothingness exists or not. Nothingness is always in superposition with somethingness because of the Changing Aspect and the non-existence of time. It exists because it is something. Fundamentally, there cannot be non-existence, existence doesn’t have an opposite. Sure, a particular phenomenon within experience can stop or disappear – and so it stops existing. But taken as a whole existence does not have an opposite. What is a distinction really? It is a manifestation of the Unchanging Aspect. It is a sensation or meaning or awareness that sticks around. So the table keeps on being the table. The nature of a distinction is that it stays around long enough to be useful. But because of the Changing Aspect, the distinctions themselves change over each iteration of the universe. The boundary making up a distinction envelops nothingness. Everything that can exist is brought about from nothingness by its distinctiveness. Existence is nothing but distinctions around nothingness. Qualia and the phenomena of consciousness is all about distinction. Sound is distinct from sight, red distinct from green, leaves distinct from stones. It is not incorrect to say that we are experiencing nothingness; both in the sense that something is being created from nothing constantly (and both are in superposition), but also because distinctions are drawn in nothingness. It is the Unchanging Aspect that draws the distinctions, the Changing Aspect which destroys them; but behind both there is nothingness. Distinctions and boundaries may confer existence to things, but there are no gaps between them. Fundamentally, a boundary demarcates a thing, and everything that is not that thing, it’s a binary choice. There’s nothing that’s half a thing or half existing. That’s not to say that boundaries don’t overlap, is a hand an arm for example? Language itself is digital and so it naturally also creates boundaries: a big flat stone can be a table for your coffee; the table is brought into existence through language demarcating it. Unity Hopefully I’ve made it clear that nothingness and existence are one and the same thing. Also, that both the Changing and Unchanging Aspects are universal to existence/experience. And, that the Unchanging Aspect drives distinctions which create existence itself. Indeed the constancy of change is also a product of the Unchanging Aspect. There is a unity in all the base phenomena of the universe of experience. Everything that can exist: the world, the body, thought, the self, the observer of all those things, is a function of the same process. That process is the ever present creation of something from nothing. Everything is both nothing and something. Everything is one. Narrative The finite pace of experience, allows for another constancy which is the stringing together of many changes into a cohesive story line. This is what gives meaning to existence. Meaning is simultaneously the recognition of the constancy of experience, and also the ability to see and then explain change happening around us. It is only through narrative that we can tell a consistent story of what is happening to us. It ties together ragbag assortment of experience and memories into a cohesive whole. It makes the world a place that can be known and understood. God plays a game of creation and then tries to explain to itself (through thought and words and narrative) why it is happening. This is exactly what I’m doing here. There is no difference between me and the engine of creation, I am synonymous with it. We all are.

good insights,, the only thing i'll add is that it seems you only became conscious of one facet of Truth, emptiness or that Truth is nothing. Emptiness/Pure Void/Nothingness is identical to Infinite Love/Beauty/Perfection. it is like a diamond with different facets that are ultimately one. Emptiness and Love are identical and are Absolute. Both (it) are (is) nowhere - for it be somewhere would mean there could be someplace it is not, but it is Infinity - which is omnipresent.

@BipolarGrowth Now that I read the text you spoke about, I have a better understanding of your own post itself. And to be honest, I think that the "Aware Space" I speak about is not related to the "Boundless Space" the text details. There is nothing objective about Aware Space as I understand it. Furthermore, it contains any notion of "nothingness" or "boundless consciousness". Aware Space, or at least as I experience it, has only subjective qualities, and it is not even a dim nothingness or perceptible void of any kind. It is the place where everything happens. It provides everything that is perceptible with a context in which to appear, and it is that which knows it.

You have developed an absolute identity with absolute space which ultimately makes it more real than your illusory self which will absolutely never stand to any serious enlightened master as an absolute. Here is a description of what your absolute space is as well as some of the most clear and concise writing made on how to develop absolute space into absolute consciousness then nothingness then true samadhi (neither perception nor nonperception) into the highest meditative attainment according to Buddhism which is nirodha samapatti or the cessation of perception and feeling. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/ If there is an absolute ground, you are falling for the formless aspect of boundless space in a formed experience or maybe even a completely true and hard boundless space. The idea that you are nothing but boundless space produces the very state which would allow you to experience further subtleties which would completely unravel any previously held notions of time, consciousness, imagination, what God Realization actually looks like and means at more effective levels… Psychedelics produce crazy brain states through a raising in the intensity and seeming permanence to consciousness as an absolute. This always incorporates formless aspects possible to be investigated, but the inability to completely detune form entirely such that there is no visual field limits your ability to capture harder to find subtleties which create better insight and concentration eventually. There is no sensation of a body in a hard interpretation of the inner essence to be found in investigating hard formless realms. This is where psychedelics can be much less effective as they give you more intensity than you are used to, but intensity shifts are not as radical as the shift between all sensations and cessation. The intensity is more concentration, but the ability to develop way higher states of consciousness does rely on your ability to have that ability to some extent whether you are on substances or not or even spiritually practicing or not.

A void with a conscious awareness sensation is not a true void. It is boundless consciousness with no noticeable formed aspects giving you illusion that formlessness does not depend on form to exist in any investigable way. Nothingness is more subtle than consciousness. It’s a lack of recognizance of an observer but the fine and hard to catch aspects of nothingness are the only sensate flickers that remain. Boundless consciousness absorption naturally leads to nothingness. You feel to be an awareness within all space which removes the 5th Jhana of boundless space by a gentle recognization or even intuition that something isn’t quite as absolute love fantastic as I wished. It can be really hard to tell the difference between the essence of boundless consciousness and nothingness. You might have insight into it that just is a specific mixed Jhana type thing which can be much trickier to handle.

Fucking beautiful read man. You had at least what sounds like a solid perception of rather hard formless jhanas, specifically boundless space, boundless consciousness, and nothingness. The sad thing is that all of these amazing, immersive, and seemingly permanent abodes are just fleeting experiences which make an unforgettable imprint on your karma and consciousness. It actually goes much deeper than this, but the best way to reach true samadhi (almost no one describing samadhi match it’s Theravada description of neither perception or lack of perception) was already paved as you have a lot of ability to go sequentially from each formless Jhana to the next. The best way from the Theravada schools to move forward is to cultivate the more amazing and impossible seeming formless Jhana of samadhi (8th Jhana) and nirodha samapatti (9th Jhana of cessation). Send me a message if you want to talk all things dharma. Here is the best source I’ve found for understanding and cultivating formless Jhana in a practical way that works. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/

All the many corpses begin to speak What ignorance is cannot be argued over anymore It is too late for pleading white picket dreams Print you off, the shemps, the world is shrinking Rooted in a trivial concern, in interconnectedness In the need to make face and keep up And drown out the many voices within Imagine a culture that has, at its root A more soulful connection to land and to loved ones But I can hear the lie before you speak There is nothing but progress to eat And we are so fat and so hungry And the black wrists are cuffed in the pig van While the white shirt and tie in the tube car, distractional picture Pictures of beer and guilt about urges Sexual distrust and abandoned to nothingness Give me something I can nail myself to Give me a sharply-dressed talking head Who has something about them I trust and despise And what of it, anyway? These windows don't open They were designed to stay closed Shower, smoothie, coffee, commute Check the internet, never stop, never stop There is a scar on the soul of the world and it needs you to look The blood of the past is here, it remains The blood of the murders, the bodies like sacks leaking brain All stacked, chest aback on the planes, it remains To acknowledge without guilt, to accept without condition And to listen when other people tell you how you have behaved Truth is, it's for us to feel and be moved But I hear the clatter of bone against steel, it is coming It will not be stilled, it is there In the air, scorched white The reflection of sunlight on glass bouncing back into sunlight And glass bouncing back, industrialized Denial, business as usual So roll your eyes, shake your head, turn away and call me names I'm okay with that, too proud Unable to listen, we keep speaking Moted by blood, unable to notice ourselves Unable to stop and unwilling to learn This song makes me think of global warming, extinction and mass immigration. People being stuck in areas that are flooding or too hot or won't produce crops and other countries won't let them in, and the refugee problem becomes out of control. There is unrest everywhere and only the rich are protected by their wealth. People move to northern climates, after that we work on ways to reduce what has happened and beyond that I don't know - maybe we learn how to manage the weather somehow? You know, the basics. : / How can we live in harmony with nature? Will there be a massive die off? Like one we have never seen before? Most likely. It is said the black death allowed society to flourish afterwards; it empowered the poor and helped society move towards freedom. High thoughts. Maybe the same thing will happen again? I wonder how everything will play out, no one can really predict. Imagine being someone in the future stuck in terrible conditions as the sea rises, and you have been keeping water out of a ramshackle home for a few years and the mold gets to you and then the weather hits and destroys everything and you cut your foot in the water and die of sepsis? And your whole life was just hunger and stress and survival and that's it. And then you die. Imagine having to ration water, and being hungry and thirsty all the time and living in a tent in the desert? Your country has turned into a barren wasteland. Humans will survive it, but it didn't have to be this way, and if it did, what will come of the mess caused by global warming for future inhabitants of Earth? As in, how would the new society structured improve future generations if we lost a lot of our population? As it is, global warming is going to make diseases spread much easier, faster. And we have seen how humans handle this. : / What if ... like... dramatic events in history like this are synonymous with the rapture and that after a quick death, these people go to heaven or something like that? How would you karmically die from one life and move into something like that one? What event would need to take place, I wonder? Maybe it is purgatory? To clean up karma for a lot of souls quite quickly? What is the long term reasoning, plan and justification for the pain humans have to go through? The wave of future suffering is going to be unbearably heartbreaking. Cities might metaphorically be possible to make from the bones of the dead. I wonder how much time we will have in between each major disaster on our way to this timeline? It will always be something out of left field of course... Go to youtube and this is the first in my notifications. Something I will keep watch over, then. Probably another chain.

I was doing some powerful Jhana work starting from the fifth to the seventh jhanas. After going into deeper and deeper absorption into these states, I would fight my way out with vipassana and focus on the three characteristics. The vipassana gave me a way to crush the pleasantness of the temporary experience and uncover it to where all three doors could be understood simultaneously. After the last switch into nothingness/7th Jhana, this aspect became fused with 5th and 6th Jhana elements continuously present. I stopped being able to breathe. I became the room which was a finite sensation of being in an enclosed space with direct access to the boundless aspect of space in sensation. I realized that the distinctions between space and being contained in a finite experience were based on the same exact sensate illusion. I eventually found out how to breathe in this new mixed Jhana with only formless aspects of forms remaining. I had to breathe through my bones. The non space sensation within my body after full exhalation was more profound and subtle than the nothingness in 7th Jhana previously. Many other strange and unspeakable experiences such as air turning to sand occurred, but they are too many to number or categorize. Every instant has within it infinite subtlety. I feel like this is never going to end. I'm constantly fluxing between jhanas as I've acquired a sort of automatic no-mind which contemplates the three characteristics even in intense absorbed and blissful states. Now petting a dog feels like a specific Jhana. Is the special desirable aspect of petting a soft dog on its face any different from the desirable formless aspects of typical jhanic sensations? In this way, you are not just changing nothingness and space but also all other sensate dimensions which could be investigated.

This was an interesting talk: This is how talking without debating looks like. One of the ideas presented of the past informing the present, fits in with what I posted about with Matryoshka dolls. In a way the past is telescoped into the present, the layer of the present moment constantly being laid over the past. Although I disagree that there is some sort of "past" per se - it's not in the same form as the present moment, but it is still within consciousness. I'm more of the persuasion that the present moment is constantly being generated from nothingness in all its full glory (hence Last Thursdayism). Consciousness is that powerful, it doesn't need a back story. I also notice the Lyall Watson books in the background. I always wanted to read Heaven's Breath, I'll go hunt for it. One thing leads to another. What I don't get and really want to know is, how does a philosopher stay alive? And how can I do it too.

You do spirituality to increase insight. Insight is a bridge between dualities. The deeper and more intrinsic a duality is, the more progress can be made from it. Leo is right. The ego does not get the power of God. By the time you can create whatever you want, you’ll realize the nature of experience and see that preferring anything over what you already have in front of you is pointless. If you are attached to manifesting one million dollars, you still would have to be under the illusion that there is a self who could benefit from one million dollars and believe that that money could somehow create anything other than an impermanent experience of suffering. The ego gets brought to its complete and final destruction through the three characteristics which are always baked into any experience. This is why Buddha called nirodha samapatti (the cessation of perception and feeling) nibbanic bliss. It’s the bliss of no longer existing. The most satisfying experience is no experience at all, and you can’t know that satisfaction until you have direct experience of going from samadhi, the ultimate absorption into the limits of experience, into the passing away of that most unimaginable experience into the impossibility which is the lack of consciousness, lack of existence, lack of God, lack of truth, lack of illusion, etc. If there wasn’t illusion, there’d be nothing at all. This isn’t the nothingness people talk about in spirituality. That nothingness is still a bundle of subtle sensations creating the possibility for experience. We’re talking about something so alien and plain that it could never be uncovered. There would be no distinctions in anything. Distinction and duality are the illusion, but without distinction, there would be no way to point to or even be truth. Nibbanic bliss is like being a Holocaust victim then going to deep sleep and having the relief of being completely detached from the miseries of your previous day except the enlightened person has the experience of ultimate reality and God which they are escaping from. They have reached the maximum temporary satisfaction that could be held in experience yet still want more. The only result is the complete loss of everything. It’s the dissolution of any possibility of self, suffering, and impermanence which is the best gift. Losing everything is the best gift. You can’t reach that dissolution experientially. After tasting that bliss, you realize that anything that could ever be real or formed or experienced is intrinsically tied to suffering. Any self you hold onto long enough to create a goal is guaranteed to create suffering. When fully enlightened, you become the arising and passing of everything simultaneously while also being absolutely certain there is no continuity that could ever accurately be called a self. You recognize that the present moment is itself an illusion. As soon as something can be perceived, it’s already gone. Even to say there is motion, activity, perception, distinction, consciousness, or truth is to imagine that any of these things could be defined in a way that lasts. There’s absolutely nothing to hold on to and no ability to choose whether to hold on or let go. A definition is a self. If whatever goal you want spiritually can still be defined, it isn’t the highest attainment.

I'm reading a book which heavily leans on the teaching of the course. I have not read ACIM itself, even though it's waiting on my bookself. It has this weirdly strong 'energy' to it and I'm not sure what to think of it. I feel like there is something extremely powerful going on there and I fear it a little. I know it's kind of stupid to ask anyone stuff like this, since it really seems to be the case that I can't in full honesty rely on any other source than my own authority. But here it is: It seems that the course explains the dream/reality in a very different manner than most other teachings. As I understand it, the course says that the dream/world/sensory experience is due to a single "thought" in the mind of God/Oneness, which is basically that of being separate. The thought of being separate is the "sin" and feels "guilt" for losing the unity with God. This then causes the Mind to divide itself to multiple parts, even though it never actually happens, but only seems like it. The course says that it is the guilt that creates the world, sensory experience itself, by projecting it's own guilt and fear on "the other", hence creating a world to "hide" in. Something in this 'explanation' resonates a lot, though it brings a weird anxiety. I always had this idea that the world would be a playground, a place for Love's expression, rather than a projection of this "guilt" or something. I don't know if it's just my own interpretation, but this seems very different from what I've heard others say. How come it is still possible for the world to exist, or for me to "create my own reality", if the guilt is recognized and made undone? I'm just weirded out on how different this seems to be from other sources. It makes it seem like Oneness/awakening would be just total nothingness and that's it. No creation, no 'experience', no fun and games in the dream world, no expression. Why do I feel like I'm missing on something super obvious and being really stupid?

This breaking vow rests so near my tongue Anchor of the cloud Shade upon the sun, you took my word for it The vanishing of doubt Will unfold my empty space Your time froze over I must lead the way to this conclusion I let you inherit these words I sing to you See how death will bestow seclusion The one you are looking for is hidden from view In my absence now, irrelevant time will pass In nothingness abide See the evening rise and take my word for it Focus is beyond your vision Will unfold my empty space Your time froze over I must lead the way to this conclusion I let you inherit these words I sing to you See how death will bestow seclusion The one you are looking for is hidden from view Do you remember when It didn't use to be so dark And everything was possible Still

It wasn't even an experience for me. Nothingness is different from that realisation!

People only like the fancy stuff. The Consciousness/Nothingness gets ignored. They go for nice experiences..

lay off the shrooms bro if you are saying nothingness is a bundle of sensations thats some mad-talk. The page is the page and will remain the page when the text is deleted.

The endless battle is the idea of when all feelings are introspected deep enough they arrive at the same point, Nothing. Nothingness maybe is a better description. Not the idea that I can't find it, but rather there is no ground to arrive at. There is no Absolute reason for the feeling itself to have manifested once it's out of the moment it was conceptualized. This nothingness has potential to be anythingness. It only remains "true" the moment it is felt. I can pretend like I have the answer as to why I felt something, but it is just a narrative my ego tells to me to validate my reality/existence. I don't disagree, but I have no reason to consider my past feelings is a better way of saying it. It's not that I can't contemplate, but rather the above statement I made will arise. This doesn't mean I will never again contemplate what I perceive as the past as if I think it is hopeless. It still has it's usefulness. It's not that I do allow feeling. I fully allow the feeling, the feeling will pass. There is no reason to latch onto it for I know attempting to understand it will either give me my ego's validation or nothing. There is no reason to purposely dismiss it for it's not seen as a threat or a blessing. I suppose if something extreme happened I wouldn't be able to hold this mindset. Though I suppose no matter what I do, even if I latch completely onto my feelings and spin the greatest of narratives, I'm still in the present moment. I don't discredit feeling at all. I just believe we should breath with it.

Nothing is permanent is a paradox just by stating it. If nothing is truly permanent then the concept of "nothing is permanent" is a permanent feature of reality. But, that is just playing word games. Nothingness is the concept of the cup being only as useful as it's emptiness. Without Nothiness, there could be no somethingness. It only "is" and it is not separate from you. Sensation is conceived from Nothiness. The idea of time, temporary is conceived from Nothingness. "Nothingness is the womb in which infinite possibilities are birthed from". But, "from" is not accurate for Nothing/Infinity are One.

There’s nothing that is permanent. Nothingness is a fine bundle of sensations, but it is a temporary experience and illusion nonetheless.