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I have noticed this as well. Only twice– and one was teal swan haha– but there is something deep I can see in their eyes that I can't explain. If I were to explain it, I would call it nothingness. But this one guy I have seen it in is not consciously 'awake' or 'enlightened'– just has taken a shit ton of psychedelics. I tried to help him realize his essential nature because he is struggling, suffering even. Yet, I see nothingness deep within his eyes??? Btw, I love that you refer to it as the causal body. Oh, and this quote below is just perfect. Absolutely beautiful.

Is it really a pointer if the pointer makes no sense. Or to put it better: Is it the right pointer? How do you know if there's a right pointer in a certain situation. Does anyone feel ready to make a spiritual assessment for me? Ask me question or lead me towards the next "step". Also feel free to write "There's no I that needs to follow a path". And "The I that's following a path is not there etc." I'm going to answer everything. Feel free to continue the assessment, here's the student asking the teacher for help: ----------------------------------------------------- I had glimpses, or awakenings, I had DPDR nothingness in the past. I've lived from the dissociated dreamstate. Afterwards I still suffered and even more. It was the most terrifying, intense time of my life. How do I experience life now? Anhedonia. I don't feel anything really. It's depression with a lot of anhedonia. What am I? Fundamentally, I am in every percept and object, but I also have a sense of self. The combination of feeling my head, and seeing things. My head feels like the HQ of control. I also have memories and fantasies. Memories happened, because I can try to remember something, and I'll have memories about it, and until now bieving my memories always worked. When I just stop, or let go (during meditation) there's a deep knowing that consciousness exists. "I know that I am" even before I ask the question. However, I dont experience eternity anymore, I very very rarely merge with the object of perception, and I suffer, which is the worst thing I want to get rid of. Sometimes it's really bad, and I'm not even able to compare it or quantify it. My life is not about beauty or pleasure or curiosity, it's mainly about escape, finding a solution to suffering and freeing myself from the burden of existence/incarnation. It's all about preventing suffering for tomorrow and truth. If truth was we're in Hell I want to know that we're in hell. I sometimes even consciously inflict suffering with cold showers, sauna and SDS, just to inquiry about suffering and how to transcend it once and for all. ---------------------------–-------------------––--------- I've never had a spiritual assessment done to me, and I know that a 1on1 IS necessary, but I guess that if I start to do it here it could be useful for everybody.

First of all, 5-meo is not a neurotransmitter but a neuromodulator of similar tryptamine activity - you don't claim one needs to take heroin to truly understand what pleasure feels like, so why claim such for 5meo and insight? For all we know, it is an overload of serotonergic circuits that mediate feelings of affection, social bonding and insight. With our current limited understanding of neurology, to simply claim it is all imaginary is just as naive as Ancient Greeks assigining differential weather activity to Gods - hence the title of this topic 'admitting I don't know'. Leo doesn't claim to have a model, but an objective claim of Absolute Truth. That's a hell of a difference. Bro seriously? I see you're learning gaslighting already, it's not fear but only critical thinking of one's self accord instead of blind belief, which would in turn greatly influence the result of any psychedelic experience. Leo wholeheartedly believes his interpretation of experiences, conflating God with Infinity and love that could, for all one knows, be a result of an overactive brain activity. If you claim otherwise, please do back it up with your understanding of neuroscience, I do love me some discussion. None of the circular loop of 'you're imagining it', because that's not an explanation. For all one knows, it could be a psychotic break that us mere 'mortals' cannot comprehend. Enlightenment occurs only after cessation of attachment to a concept of enlightment - it's 'nothingness', as in there is nothing there to be found. No ultimate high, greatest awakenings - those are ironically the greatest obstacles in the pathway to enlightenment and peace. I don't see much of positive values of awakened masters in Leo, despite the mass of contribution in many fields on his channel. There's little compassion, respect, understanding. He parrots his own 'findings' as absolute truth, where the truth could be that all his experiences are subjective, particularly in the cause of nuclear bomb that is 5meo. He's self-absorbed to the point of not realizing so, anyone wiht a background in psychology can see so. And I say this with greatest love and respect for the guy, because he helped me loads and is a great guy and I wish him all the best. EDIT: Qualia Institute argues for an opposite perspective of Leo's, and overall psychedelic, experience. It seems far more likely and makes sense in a thorough, logical manner, attaching the link here: 5-MeO-DMT Awakenings: From Naïve Realism to Symmetrical Enlightenment | Qualia Computing And no, leo did not dismantle science. Leo has a very limited understanding of what Science actually entails, and masks it behind 'it's all very complicated and requires years of understanding and dying multiple times to grasp it'.

Assuming you speak of enlightenment meaning buddhahood, tathagatahood etc, well you generally can't tell if someone is enlightened in such a way at all because their mode of being will appear very ordinary, they have gone beyond personhood a long long time ago and are not even interested in using spirituality to gain or avoid something. They will just behave like humans. If they are not teaching spirituality in some form, you will totally overlook them. If you speak of lower levels of spiritual advancement, you can tell to an extent. For example, it is easy to tell if someone has realized what people like to describe as "nothingness" (it would be more accurate to call it the causal body but let's just roll with nothingness as it's a popular word haha). You can see it in their eyes, or perceive it in the way they say certain things, because you've been there and you know someone will not be making a certain point, in a nuanced way, unless one has realized this or that. And therefore who is a good teacher? A teacher is someone who appears to have valuable stuff to teach, regardless of their own journey.

It is literally impossible for me to not have the most developed understanding of Anakin that exists in any verifiable way, and unless absolute solipsism at face value is true, the same truth about Anakin’s nature is true for you. My understanding of True Nature runs through every sensate micron of consciousness/nothingness/māhāparinibbana you ever could not even be capable of imagining.

Imagine where you were before your conception. You've always been there. It never stopped existing. "But complete nothingness, darkness, void surely doesn't exist, does it?" YES IT DOES!!

Not quite. I'm aware of the Void. I'm a student of Taoism and so "objective reality" is fuzzy at best. The ego lives in the world of dualism and the "ten thousand things". I guess what I am looking to avoid is the nihilism that the ego generates in the face of nothingness. Because I recognize the paradox that from nothingness arrives the world. Yet the void of nothingness is absolute love. Impossible to describe with words of course. But experiencing it, it becomes self evident. Damn. Got me there. LOL

I have been following Leo since 2015 and I have watched hundreds of his videos and got immense help from his videos. But I almost always misunderstand his spiritual teachings. For example the notion of “Nothingness” is not easy to understand. I don’t seem to understand it at all. At one point I thought it means total annihilation of existence and total black darkness of the physical world. And I know it’s not what I think. It can’t be anything I think. I have to experience it by actually doing the consciousness self-actualization work. How to not misunderstand Leo’s advanced spiritual teachings?

I would agree in this scenario. Knowledge is a very broad notion that can be used for understanding for survival reasons, for Truth's own sake, and only able becoming conscious of Nothingness because it's not an object of knowledge.

Psychedelics are helpful for spiritual process for regular human being. however, whatever you experience, or becoming infinite, love, infinite love or nothingness, after enlightenment realization happens that they were just all thoughts, there was no experiencer whatsoever, you are always what you are and where you are not even moved nor began. Thats how beyond the enlightenment is. Every psychedelic trip people experiences different stuff vsvs. However Truth can never change, which has nothing to do with words, thoughts, experience or becoming, those are variables.

I am really not concerned what Leo has, or has not. Nothingness cannot be an object of knowledge.

@tsuki Leo has said that using the mind to understand the mind doesn't work but don't just take his word for it either. There's probably something higher I'm unaware of. Using the mind to understand Nothingness also applies here. Btw, how do I use a box of text to respond to? I can even just use the part of what you said about the mind in which understanding occurs with. If Leo is against with just having beliefs, are you saying that he is deluded? He's still falable, but just as Tim R said, don't make such simple answers which applies with the relative and the Absolute (although you do have to start somewhere with phychadelics and make sure not to spend too much time with perfecting your personal development before taking them).

Nothingness is impossible to understand. Understanding is a process that occurs with the mind, which is relative. Nothingness is not relative. This is another name for the Absolute. Again: it is not possible to understand it. You can make beliefs about it, you can partially represent the experience of it, but it is not it.

I've recently been inspired to watch some Actualized.org content after several months away. I found myself today pondering the question of "how is reality even here?". I just watched the Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? video. According to Leo, Nothingness is the substance of reality, so to speak. Reality is no when, no where, no how. Nothingness is God, Love, Consciousness, Infinity. They are one and the same. Now, I know it says right there that reality is "no how". Yet I find myself still asking HOW. How is it possible for Nothingness to manifest itself and interact with itself? In a world that's so obviously intelligently designed and constructed, no less. Why does Nothingness exist? Why is it not just nothing? What exists outside Nothingness? Nothing, I assume. It's just absolutely incredible. It's insane. Not actually insane but like shocking insane. It's completely bonkers. As I'm writing this I find all my questions being answered, and it's slightly maddening. I suppose it can be summed up as "it just is". I yearn for more than that though. How can it be that there is this infinite, formless, loving God running the show? And that's it! It begs the question "Well what came before this?" and that question is answered by God, Nothingness and Infinity being One. It's always been here and always will be. Manifesting itself again and again... All for a laugh? Fucking hell. Hilarious. Astounding. Wonderful. Today has been a massive headfuck.

This is just my experience, I have felt like there are levels to the realization for no self... for myself, as ironic as that sounds. But if you have a full blown awakening to it, this is what it might feel like for you. I've personally not seen a definitive answer for this here, and it's something I was so curious about before awakening to it. What I will say, is there is no rush, the universe will guide you along your journey and when the time is right this radical truth and insight will reveal itself to you. For me personally, it was when I upped the dose (170ug), my ego completely died. You, your consciousness or what you imagined you were as a human will merge so much with external reality, that you literally fully awaken and understand that you are the external. It's as if for what will seem like the first time you look around the room and fully understand instantaneously you are looking at yourself. The ego will feel so entirely dead, for me it felt like wind was blowing through me but there was no one there. I literally became the breeze through the cracks in the window. The wave of the infinite ocean of Love. You will literally die, literally! And will be the most amazing experience of your entire life because you are still conscious and Aware. The thing that shocked me the most, was the divinity of how every moment that lead up to this moment was intelligently designed. Every single moment that lead up to that exact moment was all meant to be. Pure perfection. At the same 'time' when you realize you have no self, you ask yourself what am I? Then the true Self which is what you have always been. Infinity, nothingness, GOD reveals itself to you. This is how it happened for me. 170ug was alot for me and personally the most I have done. And I built upto this, so I would suggest starting low(half a tab). Wow. What a ride life has been. Leo, Nahm, Inlightened1 and everyone else who has guided me on this journey indirectly or directly. thank you all. You were all definitely a catalyst to enlightenment. Namaste and love to you all.

After many years of soaking in this spirituality stuff and what Leo and others teach in general, something is bubbling away beneath the surface. I'll spell it out, it's my unease at nihilism and talk of the void and nothingness and getting rid of the ego. I'll call it zeroism the sake of lumping it altogether. I understand at a tacit level what all this zeroism is about. Quickly: being attached to a something creates suffering, and a something is pure illusion or more accurately it is not at the root of reality. Firstly, suffering is the human condition, there is suffering and all the things associated with it at all levels, great and small, simple and complex. Pushing past suffering is one of the greatest means for actualising yourself. Secondly, there appears to be more to reality than meets the eye, the immediate sensation of a material world with objects and people is not to be trusted - it is a house of cards which can be toppled over and it should be toppled over - so that you can truly be spiritually actualised - enlightened or awakened. Non-dual speak frankly bores me. For every person that says something is occuring, there is someone that says nothing is occuring. I've even argued myself for nothing going on, using logical thought. It's like eating strawberry ice cream and then someone saying "you're wrong there is no strawberry ice cream, there's nothing there". This is just rubbish. I can't vouch for the experiences of others, because I'm not them (yes I am a separate sentient human being), but strawberry ice cream exists. If I go to my local shop and buy it, I can experience it any time I want. And that's my point. Consciousness or whatever this is exists in all its glory, it is here, right here, right now. To deny that existence or argue against it or to say it's anything different to what it is, is utter delusion. There is meaning to reality, there is something, there is movement and colour, there is ice cream - because reality is all of it, it's allowable, it's not illusion, it's not maya, it's not nothingness or whatever. I exist, because I experience myself existing. Stuff is happening because I experience it (I can feel you all cringing now). I can accept that reality is just experiencing itself and that an "I" is unnecessary, but the fact remains that there is an "I" right here at this moment. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of delusion and ignorance but this is to all to do with the content of reality. However, reality itself is not delusion, illusion, nothingness, or anything else. Reality is exactly as it presents itself right now. If reality presents itself differently in ten minutes' time then that is reality. It's really very very simple. Why all the unnecessary misdirection of zeroism? Trying to overcome suffering is really about utility and actualisation. Actualisation is 99% about the content of reality and deconstructing everything, so it is all utility. You're actualising because it serves you. You are the one that wants to get enlightened, telling yourself otherwise is silly. After a while it should become blatantly obvious that everything is constructed in some way: it's made of parts, it has rules, it fits within a greater whole. Most of human drama stems from the inability to extricate itself from its constructions. But the fact remains that constructions are reality, they're not illusions, they are simply things that can be shown to be arbitrary - that being the greatest single realisation to have. Yes the content of reality is completely arbitrary, but it still exists, I'm here to witness it. You get me?

It´s interesting, how everyone is looking for something special for them before getting on the path of awakening. Some look for love, the others for happyness. For Leo it´s truth. Truth. What is truth? Something static and unchangeable. Never was ineterested in such a thing in a constantly changing world. Well you can apply truth on something like Nothingness/ Everything. Bit what is a point of it, if you can never embrace the truth? I knew this since I has been a kid and learned a concept of 0 and infinity. Like every child I wanted to be a math master by knowing the highest possible number. I can remember my mum not being able to answer this simple question. You can always add one and get the next number, even if there is no name for it , you can always add one. This is the moment when I lost interest in truth, philosophy, math.. Doesn´t make any sense - you can always add one.. I was also skeptical about love. What I knew from the books - love is blind. I wasn´t blind. Well I learned to understand the concept of love better when it got physical. It started to make sense for me. What I was always looking for was freedom. But I found love or let´s say a special kind of love. I met someone.. let´s say.. not the same understanding or development level, but.. the word "perception" would probably fit. With the same perception. I really had long dialogues with him sitting in his kitchen and drinking tea and me being elsewhere. Not sure if we were really speaking in astral or I sensed his nature so good that I knew all his responces. But anyways during our live meeting he repeated sometimes the whole passages of that conversations. It drove me crazy. Never experienced something like that - thi skind of closeness. I thought that it is it. The miracle of love. Fuck! He was my mirror but not of my chocolaty side. And then I met someone with whom I also shared a perception in the same miraculeous way but he was a mirror of my better side. I know, it´s a very simplified interpretation, but I have no other explanation at the moment. And you think you can experience something like that once in 10 lifes if at all, and then you have this shit just one after another. The other thing that I found was truth, or rather... lies. and illusions. Which I started to see more clearly. Not that I didn´t see them before. Just... the universe, in which you can always add one, needs to be filled with some shit, shouldn´t it? But what I started to see was, that it shouldn´t be necessarily filled with shit.. It is even stupid and absurd what we are doing.

Muted, distant, unrecognizable sounds... The city, the people, the kitchen, the bathroom Places I managed to recognize after several days But not by smell I can't smell anything It feels like I'm not breathing My sense of taste also ruthlessly vanished somewhere The last thing I had in my mouth left a metallic aftertaste But it was ages ago I see nothing Gravity is nonexistent Where the hell am I? And how did it happen? Nothingness Why can't I remember who I am, what I am? After a minute I realize I don't remember anything What was yesterday, what's today I'm suspended in a smudgy, fuzzy, vague... I'm swallowed, my world shrinked And keeps getting smaller like it's trying to devour me Then again I have a strong sense of assured safety

Right now, simply try to find the edge to your visual field. In your peripheral, try to find where the colors and shapes truly come to an end. Try to actually really do this before you continue reading. You will have noticed that actually, there is no such thing as an edge to your visual perception. Because what an edge is, is actually two things contrasting each other. Human minds have a tendency to view the world through such edges and limitations, even their own visual field they probably thought for their entire life to have an edge to it, a limit to itself. Yet, where is this limit? People ask themselves, what is at the edge of the universe? This presupposes the nature of the universe to be that of limitation. And for limitation, what is required is contrast. An edge can only exist if there is something contrasting that edge. The very nature of an edge and limitation is two things opposing each other. Ask yourself, where is the limitation in that? You say when you are on one side, that this line is where things end, yet when you cross it, you have just found yourself on a different ground. I can tell you with certainty, that if you find what is the "edge" of your visual perception, you will come to know what is the "edge" of the universe. Again, sit down and truly focus on this right now and come back reading when you have made a great effort. Reality does not work through limitation, reality is nestled in nothingness. The edge of your visual field bleeds into true nothingness. It is coming from nothingness, and it is dissolving into nothingness. True nothingness has no edge. It is no thingness, and it is present right here, at the "edge" of your visual field. The mind views reality as a contrast between limitation and infinitude, but yet reality clearly works in a paradoxial and arational manner. See, your visual perception is not infinite, yet it is not limited either. How can this be? It can be because reality is not that which is possible, but that which is impossible. Study any aspect of your own existence, any one of it, and you will come to realize this undeniable truth. In it's own way, your visual perception is self-contained. It is not like a division of two things, but it is it's own complete circle. There is no visual perception and then the "beyond visual perception". Your visual perception is as grand as the entirety of this universe, you simply are not paying attention to that. The beyond is the Nothingness, and that is what self-containment is. It is Nothingness. This is the most obvious thing, yet our minds work day in day out to blind itself from this truth. It is so transparent and undeniable, that the ability to look past this actuality itself is a miracle, a miracle equally as impossible as anything else in existence. The Edge itself is Nothingness, which means that it is no Edge at all. Sense the presence of the Nothingness all around you, in which all of substance is nestled in and of which it is made of. Look with sober clarity at existence. If you are not grounded in clear seeing, this path will create nothing but delusion for you.

there is an individual, as a pattern, limited construction, temporary limitation of reality to perceive itself. this individual can perceived himself as unreal in the sense of seeing the limitation of all his experience, like a feeling of unreality, and therefore seeks the real, transcendence. the substance of this individual is the substance of reality, only that the individual has a temporary form and reality is formless. with practices and or psychedelics the individual can momentarily dissolve his form / limitation and become the whole. the whole is not an individual, but it is one, even being nothing. when this happens the individual realizes what it is. it is the whole reality, so the nothingness being. bottomless, so infinite. shapeless but with an unmistakably familiar quality, substance, identity: love. but the individual also exists as an individual, a very specific pattern that the totality creates in order to become limited and perceive (for example, especulating). it is unreal in terms of its projections, its idea of itself before to understand what is him, but it is real as a limited entity, a set of brackets in nothingness that creates a specific shape. So you could call it illusion since the absolute point of view, like only a shape, but since your point of view you are absolutely real

Get on it then, chop chop Notice that you are still creating a subtle duality between nothingness and somethingness, formlessness and form. Realize something is nothing. Notice there is no edge between something and nothing.

@Scholar Yes, excellent! And also one more thing: the contents of the visual field are all Nothingness too, such that there is no outside or inside.

There is always something. Emptiness is a state of fullness. Nothingness is a state of being nothing in a wast space of omni presence. Soo you could say, that the emptiness is full of nothingness. Like the air, or gravitation, it is there, but not noticeable. however it is not a constant state, one fluctuate, and that is the baeuty of enlightenment, to always be in a dynamic state.

Everything Leo speaks in this video in regards to awakening and god i have personally encountered, the difference is I don't call it God or Love or Consciousness. And I stopped giving them importances. Awakening is the most extraordinary thing one can imagine yes it is absolutely mind blowing, so infinite that there is no more mind. No more levels consciousness. No more form or emptiness. Even Awakenings and Realizations and even enlightenment itself are perceived to be the stuff of the dream. Of course all these "experiences" will make you shit in your pants, physically dying, being so blown away you're no longer human, and they are all encountered on the Path. But eventually they are all absorbed and transcended. The more ordinary the more Divine. The better way to put IT is that it transcends even the notion of extraordinary vs. ordinary. On no Self being a "minor" Realization: Temporary experience of no Self on meditation or psychedelic is not the same as Realization of no Self. Realization is deeper than a transcendental experience and both are "minor" sure. But the permanent dropping away of self/Self is on another dimension altogether. After self/Self drops away there is nothing but God and Infinity 24 7. There is a quantum difference between a self perceiving God in the center vs. permanently dropping away of any center or vintage point, and there's only Godhead Comprehending and Creating Itself ad Infinite. Now I can only speak from personal experience but before self/Self permanently drops, even the most mind blowing experiences still comes from a self. If you had a Realization or an "experience", then you find yourself shifting back to separated state then it's a temporary experience of a self and not a Realization, let along the permanent dropping away of center, which is beyond any teachings of contemporary Neo Advida or most mainstream or new age spirituality teachings. In fact it's beyond spirituality altogether. There's absolutely no reference point to the "experience" of permanently dropping away of self/Self. There is no words to describe it. It robs everything away from you, even Consciousness itself and all of your previous Realization. There is no perceiver, no agency, no center at all times. The enlightened self sitting on his throne of Nirvana is the final layer of the dream. edit: Buddha didn't teach Absolute Self. He taught no-self AND No-Self, which is the middle way, the merging and transcendence of Being/Non-Being, Absolute Infinity and Absolute Nothingness. But No Self IS True Self, so let's not get bogged down to terminologies. But I see way too many people on the Path getting stuck in the identification to an Absolute Self. Cessation is 0 consciousness. Complete black out. Which makes this Insight extremely valuable because non existence is in a totally different order than existence. No consciousness is in a totally different order than levels of consciousness. YET they're also exactly the same because 2 sides of the extremes eventually cancel each other out and become 0 when they meet as death is Love/life. But I'm still on the fence whether it's necessary for awakening. In my direct experience it's the ultimate no experience that truly truly re-wires the brain permanently. It takes 5 to 10 years of meditation to get your first cessation. After awakening you can get 10 cessations in 30 mins of sitting. (What I'm more interested in is permanent shifts. It doesn't matter how many awakenings one's had, but if moment to moment perception isn't permanently altered, say shifting from 720 to 1080 to 4K 360 and 8k 360 or the self dissolving from solidity to liquid to air, then there is no Realization). Enlightenment is not a state of consciousness. It's 0 if you want to put a number on the dial, which also makes it Infinite and in-quantifiable. All "levels of consciousness" belongs to the dream and are the by products of "peeling away of separation/conditions". Enlightenment is deeper than consciousness or even awareness. As krishnamurti said "The moment you are aware of Awareness, you are not aware of Awareness" It's deeper than total unity and Oneness. As Adyshanti said, you eventually "wake up out of Oneness". You could say it's the _______ prior to unity and all states of consciousness. Prior to and it's what manifest the dial on the awakening scale. Shinzen young describes the path as going from surface level consciousness to Source. And many people on the Path got diverted from going directly to Source to sidetracking themselves to the content/manifestation of Source mid path (although Source is Appearance. Content IS context. But this cannot be Realized unless one's abiding in Source as Source). But what happens AFTER Source is Realized? Sure one can continue to explore. There is no end to the Infinitude of Reality. But as I've emphasized many times, there is a event horizon you cross before and after enlightenment. Ramana Maharishi and many other sages on that level all point to the fact that enlightenment itself has no levels. You're either there or you're not. And it's not a process happening anywhere. The question of whether or not it's a brain/mind State becomes completely irrelevant.

I decided I am going to keep a journal of each of the "personalities" within me. I am doing this to keep track of the needs, desires, fears, and level of consciousness of each so I can release them. I will release each cluster of thought patterns until I eradicate myself back to nothingness. Leaving myself everything. 11: This dominating part of me doesn't want to be responsible for anything. The part of me just wants to go from experience to experience, worry-free and unattached. This part wants to be completely detached from everything and everyone. The only thing this part wants anything to do with is nothing. Nothing but whatever comes up and then leaves. No attachments. Not to anything, not to anyone. Not even to itself. This part just wants constant change, growth, realization, and then new ones. This part doesn't even want to be a part. It just wants to live. 22: This part has seen past the nonsense, the chaos. This part recognizes patterns and wants to 'level up' out of these patterns so as to create positive change. This part of me agrees with 11 in wanting new and better experiences. But how can you level up your experience if you are mindlessly engaging in the same behavioral patterns/loops/cycles? 22 wants creation. Crow: This part represents change and transformation. So, like 11, this part wants change and doesn't want to be committed to anything. Except, it does want to be committed to itself. That is what makes this part different from 11. 11's non-attachment goes so deep it doesn't even want to be attached to itself. But Crow wants to track progress. And in order to track anything, it needs to develop a solid and separate sense of self. Crow wants individuality. Because of this, it cares about where it perceives itself in life and outside of life. It considers all angles. Cleopatra: This part is dangerous. It's a dominating aspect that does not consider what's outside of her desires– probably because she doesn't recognize it. This part scares the other parts because it is untamed, ruthless, thoughtless, and action-based. She comes off as a dictator but doesn't mean to be that way even though she is. She is not evil she is unconscious. If you get close to this part, she will sexually blind you, distort your reality, and fulfill your needs unless they interfere with her own. She will do this naturally as she sexually blinds and distorts herself, fulfilling all of her own needs. She's addicted to the sense of oneness but is trapped in her separation. She's controlling. Eva: This part is Cleopatra's opposite. She doesn't want to control she wants to be controlled. The idea of being controlled releases stress for Eva. She actually interprets it as love. It's sick and fucked up and she causes a lot of tension for 11 and Crow who despise controlling environments. Things being handled and done for Eva is something she dreams about. She has a deep-seated belief that she has to do everything herself in life. Unlike the other parts, she does not get off on this belief. She gets off on the idea of someone completely taking over and controlling her. Completely surrendering to life and letting go of everything including herself. She doesn't care what happens to her, she fancies it. She doesn't believe anything comes easily in life. She doesn't believe in other people. She is suffering; she is in a constant state of pain. She's a child. She deserves her needs to be met but cannot meet them on her own.