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Sorry, it turned out a long one (again). @Daffcio So, here's a thought. But before that thought, let's recognize that it's impossible to say anything about your circumstance in particular as the devil is in the details, and the things mentioned in the OP can be interpreted in so many ways that any answer here will be guesses and the more confident advice is quite likely being someone else projecting their reality onto yours. Let's find a common denominator that we can agree on, and that's that you don't like being imposed on and controlled by your mother, so that's what needs to change, right, in some way. The rest is your perspective, our perspectives, and of course your mothers perspective. In the B = f(P, E) equation, B being behavior and behavior being a function of person and environment you might be able to make some sense out of this and perhaps some ideas on actions that can affect B positively. The (her) behavior (B) is readily available for your to observe, you see how she acts, you make your interpretation, and your response is that you don't like it. For a second here, before we continue, recognize that at the time she is operating through this equation on her end, you are simultaneously operating through it on your end. She (P) contains the essence of her persona, the social "programming" that started out in her early childhood and spans up until this very moment; which including all her biases, expectations, shame, guilt, judgement, labeling of what is right/wrong, good/bad, the values that drive her, and the list goes on and on. In short, what maker her her. Let's get back to how you can help change her later in this post. The circumstance she find herself in (E) which is an environment (or situation) here she is a parent and you are her child activated specific parts and flavors of her "programming" and hence f(P, E) results in what it does. Stay a moment here, and reflect over this equation. It makes it readily apparent that we are not as free as we think we are, we are largely controlled by whatever content/baggage we have in our "backpack". Switch out the P in this equation and you will get vastly different outcomes. This is just how things are, we have to accept them so that we can transcend the outcome, the behavior (B). There's a very simple profoundness in this, the challenge really lies in shifting focus from the B to the P so that we can better explore and understand the perspective that the P holds. When gaining understanding, we can better choose our own reaction to the B's. Let's go back to the B = f(P, E) and look at it from your POV. Just like she has her B which is the function of her and the environment/situation that is taking place, you have your own B that is the functional response from being you (P) and that same situation. For a moment, let's make another recognition; you are your own person AND you don't have the exact same "programming" as she does. From many aspects her values and behavior will, subconsciously (to both her and your), have been transferred to you since the moment you were born, especially throughout the formative years spanning from childhood to upper teenage years. Other things in your persona come from other influences, such as school, friends, social media, even Actualized.org. Other things may also have come about as a rebellion against traits her persona. Let's awe at the complexity that lies within the interaction between two human beings. The odds that there will be abrasions when two individuals interact is fairly high, especially when there's some sort of conflict brooding within either individual. The people we choose as friends are much at the mercy of the P's and how well aligned they turn out to be - we simply don't give people that we don't align [enough] with a chance. Parents we can't choose. Notice that the E isn't the same for you and her. For her it's a parent-child situation and it activates a multitude of programmed "scripts" within her. These scripts are running in her and they are expecting certain outcomes in order not to be considered an "error" or simply "does not compute". For you it's probable that you are considering yourself an adult and respect your freedom. Living at home with mom certainly will present some challenges when adult freedom input into parent-child scripts simply won't produce very constructive outcomes AND vice-versa, parent-child input into your adult freedom script does the same. Here's a another recognition; you cannot expect her to understand your perspective, just like she cannot expect you to understand her perspective. So what is change? Can you force her to change? If not, is moving out and cutting her off a solution? The reality we experience is created within ourselves, in our minds, based on our programming. The recognizing of us owning our P as well as the our B, we enable ourselves the ability to change ourselves in such ways that we better operate under conditions that we cannot change, or control, which are the E of our equation. So, can we change other people? Yes, in a sense we can. By changing ourselves in such ways that we produce other behavior in ourselves, we effectively change the E of the other persons equation, and the B of that other persons equation will be different. Now, we can't choose what kind of other person behavior that will result in, but we can allow ourselves to which to a sense-and-respond kind of behavioral pattern and experiment with our own behavior, note the outcomes that change produces in the other person's B. ~ In terms of perspectives, as mentioned, it is impossible to make sense of the situation itself, the devil is in the details and a devil can be awakened in any person under challenging circumstances (E). And it's clear that this is a triggering situation for the both of you. Question is what is triggering you, and how can you find out what is triggering her? Just to throw a parental perspective out there: What you describe can very well be the fear of a parent, worrying that they are not doing enough to keep you safe and "on track" with life, coming form a place of loving caring, wanting for you to be the best you can be, from her subjective POV. Fear makes us to strange things. The fear of failing as a parent is a very real thing and it can come in many different flavors. Living under the constant threat of having to experience shame and guilt in regards to ones parenting, or living with shame or guilt from recognizing something has already gone "wrong" in terms of the parents ideas of what being successful looks like, not the least your quarrels and lack of effect on the situation (her E) or you (your B and ultimately your P) makes people do things that are not very constructive in term of working towards the parents wanted outcome - it's just the f(P, E) at play. ~ A benefit of adding objective understanding to behavioral patterns and understanding of other peoples perspectives, is that it makes it easier to work with our triggers so that we can emotionally detach from the situations (E) as they arise, so that we can in a more sober way make sense of that's going on, and better choose our responses. ~ The key in personal development and self-actualization is to work with ourselves and develop ourselves. This development happens in our own equation and not in the equation of others. Yet, we tend to externalize our thoughts and find the problems out there, within others, in other things or in other circumstances. Externalizing problems cannot make change, but it certainly can escalate that problem or create more problems around it. And it certainly creates a pattern of blame and justification through which we consistently remove ourselves from any and all equations, creating a victim-hood phenomenon which quickly becomes an addiction in itself. By externalizing all problems, the ego protects itself from change and at the same time strengthen itself by adding a sense of self-importance at the same time as it is diminishing others when identifying them as being problematic. This is a pattern that we need to break, and turn to ourselves to look for changes within ourselves that moves us towards better outcomes. ~ Is the solution to tell you mother to stop controlling you? By gaining understanding of her perspective you can identify and choose responses that are constructive rather than destructive and brings you closer instead of adding distance. How? If you take a step back from the content of the situation and look at the structure of the going-on's as well as you as an individual and try to put yourself into her shoes, seeing potential perspectives of hers, what kind of answers do you come up with, that is pointing towards change within you, that can change the situation that causes her behavior (B) are she does? Sometimes, a sober, calm conversation around feelings is what the doctor orders. Without expectations from the other. Just opening the heart and vulnerably sharing ones thoughts. Finding out what those thoughts of ours are, so that we can communicate and communicate them well is a great challenge. And within that challenge lies true developmental grows. Impact feedback focusing on how you feel and what the effects on you is good here, as it makes it about you and not about her and she will have less reason to try and defend herself. ~ A fotnot; there are shit parents (and people) out there that are too toxic to be possible to affect, and there's always a point at which we need to realize that cutting people out of our lives is the best thing to do, and if that is what is needed to be done, so be it. From the limited sense I make from your OP, I don't think this is the case for you. Regardless, when cutting people out of our lives, we need to be aware that the problem may still be within ourselves and doing that can be the easy way out for the ego to avoid us growing towards accepting responsibility for ones own reality. ~ Again, sorry, monster post.

Jesus self-identified as the light of God. He also recognized others as the light of God. He knew that we are all the same in the transcendent sense, and that the kingdom of God is the essence of who we are. He was God expressed through a form, like the rest of us, he just happened to be a more awakened form than most.

3 years ago I had a huge awakening. I saw everything super clear. There was no suffering at all. I didn't know anything about this stuff, but before that happened I was in deep suffering and I didn't even know. I awakened because of suffering. Then "I lost" all of that which "I had gained". Now, after 3 years of suffering (hundreds of different phases I went trought), I have more understanding than I have at that time, I was so fucking clueless. I feel like I am at the edge of awakening, I notice on my chest, all over my body feels it when I am very near. But there is something that is blocking me from that: MYSELF. Wtffff myself doesn't want to awaken. It is that which has been causing me suffering this 3 years. I feel I can't do nothing because I am always preventing myself from awakening. Some thoughts on this?

My intention in this post is to make a super helpful pointer. I'll see how I go though. What attachment seems to be? Its simple. Its the assumption that some object, state of consciousness, or thing has happiness in it, and if we don't have that thing we are unhappy, but if we have that thing, we are happy. This runs deep, this isnt limited to the fools who chase money and sex. Infinite love realization and states of consciousness are attachments, because if you aint in the right state of consciousness, you aren't happy. It runs even deeper. Unconditional happiness is an attachment, because if you aren't unconditionally happy, then you aren't happy. The happiness is assumed to be in the "unconditional" state. What the world seems to be? The world is a place divided into things that make you happy, and things that make you not happy. We chase the things that make you happy, while avoid the things that make you not happy. This runs deep, we chase altered states of consciousness, we chase attaining unconditional happiness, we chase meditation, etc. In this world there is time, and a future. We plan to get stuff in the future, like attaining enlightenment. Like attaining 0 attachments in the future. We strive towards it. What actually makes you happy? Clearly 0 attachments. But what is 0 attachments? 0 attachments is literally being purely happy. Just being happy. That's it. 0 attachments means your happiness doesn't come from awakening, altered states of consciousness, enlightenment, meditation, psychedelics, insights, knowing how the universe works, pure unknowing, having an ego, having no ego, being self realized, "getting it", telling people whether they are awake or not, telling people whether you're more awake then them, classifying people, judgment, hatred. When do you have 0 attachments? When you are purely happy. That feeling of someone loving you, you achieving something great, a wedding, being in the flow state, etc. There is no happiness located anywhere, or to be achieved in the future, its just there. Purely happy. You aren't awake when you're happy. You're just normal. Everyone can have 0 attachments if they wanted to. Not just awakened or enlightened beings. Everyone has periods of time in their life when they have 0 attachments, even the ones that are the most miserable. The flow state is a great example. So What Actually IS The World Then? The world is a place where you can see what it actually is, or you can not see what it actually is, and be deluded. If there's a rope on the ground, you can choose to see that rope as a snake, or as a rope. By choosing to see it as a snake you suffer. By choosing to see it as a rope, you don't. The world actually is unbounded, completely unconditional happiness. If you don't see that, its simply because you are not looking at the world, you are looking at delusion. And that's the whole game you're playing. Trying to see what the world actually is, and all spiritual work amounts to that. Actually that's not what your spiritual work amounts to, that's what everything you do amounts to. So What Actually IS Attachment Then? We divide ego tricks into lots of different categories and flavors. But the truth is, there's only 1 ego trick that's been playing you your entire life. And that ego trick is, really believing that happiness is located in something. The mourning you go through over the loss of a family member, or over the loss of an awakening(if you've had those awakenings that make you mourn and grieve) or psychedelic experiences, is literally, and only, caused by this 1 ego trick. Its caused purely from the belief that happiness is in something. If you get a thought that says "but that can't be true, because I've felt pain before and it hurts, it can't just be an attachment" ~ notice that the whole reason why you believe that thought, is because you believe there's happiness in it. That's why you're taking that thought seriously. The reason why you take any thought seriously is because you believe there's happiness in the thought. That's literally attachment. That's literally the ego trick outlined above. Real happiness is not contained within any thoughts. It is prior to every single thought. So What Do You Make of This? The game of life is officially complete, when you realize that happiness is prior to everything. Its prior to awakenings, its prior to realizations, its prior to being enlightened, its prior to realizing love. And its prior to every single attachment you have. So Why Is Meditation and Yoga Important? Because meditation and yoga are the only times when you are happy for the sake of it. Not happy because you're in an altered state of consciousness, or because you've reached some samadhi state, or because you're awake, or because you're enlightened, or because you're more awake and better then others. So Why Aren't I happy when its so simple? Because you deliberately, while unintentionally, choose to pick your attachments over happiness. If you had a car crash and lost an arm, and you were resisting the state you were in hard, and I told you to just be happy, you'd say NO! Because you just lost an arm. Its not that you can't be happy, its that you're deliberately choosing not to. Hello, that's why you aren't awake. Hello, you're going to keep going on the spiritual path until you realize that if that happened to you, you will choose to be happy. Because the alternative to that is falling for the 1 ego trick outlined above, and you will not be 100% satisfied in life, and will keep striving for happiness on the path, until you have 0 attachments because that's literally the only game you're playing. You can choose happiness over your attachments. The problem is you don't want to. Your end game is not awakening, infinite love realization, or anything like that. Your end game is flow state 24/7. Whether you're enlightened, a human, a duck, a cat, a retard, a deluded fool, a psychotic person, an insane person, a cu**, someone with a bad history, it doesn't matter what you are, what you want is 24/7 flow state. So What actually IS the truth? The truth literally is, deliberately choosing to be purely happy, deliberately choosing to get what you purely want, devoid of putting that in objects, states of consciousness, awake vs non awake dualities, putting it in the whole idea of non duality, putting it in enlightenment or infinite love or anything else. What you have always wanted, was to be happy, and what you have been doing your entire life, is deliberately choosing not to be happy.

I think it works, but not the way we think it does... I think there's a lot of "unconscious" stuff going on. We need to get more awakened to get it to work. IMO. In my case, sometimes it works, and some others is like there's some kind of deep belief that is not making it work the way I want. But that "I" is my ego, so maybe that's the problem.

What is the relationship between these four entities or principles? This is how I see it, from the observations I have made in recent days. Well, let's start with Atman. Atman is the One without the Other, and thus it is the Other, and All that exists. The Atman is the Soul or Jiva at the Centre of the Universe and everything that exists. Shiva cannot be in the Centre, because he is the space in which the Centre exists. Kali is what works around it (the Centre), and is thus One with the Center just as Shiva is. Shiva is the space, Kali is the energy. Atman is both. Atman is the only being or entity that can be both Shiva and Kali at the same time. Atman Shiva ---> I <--- Kali Shiva and Kali can play around together and be One, switch roles etc, but they cannot impersonate a single form as one without being One with the Atman. The Atman is the Center of every point of space. If you were to imagine the whole fabric of the universe and all dimensions possible (infinity), as being composed of infinitely many dots, infinitely close together, then you would have the understanding that the Atman is at the centre of every single one of those dots. Where does the Atman's Shakti come from? Not Shiva, not Kali. Atman is Shakti and Shiva at the same time, so Atman created Shiva and Shakti, and Kali as a result. Kali is awakened Shakti. The Shakti that Shiva has given to Her. It is her, because she is energy. She needs Shiva to move Her. She is Shakti that is intelligent and able to communicate with relationship. Shiva is what can move control and harness Shakti in whatever way He wants, and thus he is able to control the Shakti and feed it to Kali, who will use it to bring justice to the universe. Brahman is all that is, without a center, and thus nothingness like Shiva. The only difference between Brahman and Shiva is that Brahman cannot be impersonated by anyone or anything, while Shiva can. I hope this helps anyone trying to understand. Yet I am sure this is still a work in progress, so please share any of your observations or insights. I encourage you to do so Om Tat Sat

I'll just preface this by saying that this video makes me want to pull my hairs out. It's extremely frustrating to see how Connor tries to go about explaining things while displaying zero signs of spiral wizardry (if he even had an ounce of it, he would've never debated it in the first place, so I guess that is the price you pay for getting to see something like this). It's more an example of the limits of stage orange than anything else (to say that Connor accurately represents anything would be a stretch), which is why I ended up posting it here. Regardless, if you ever wanted to see what a "debate" between an "awakened" person and materalist looks like, this is probably the closest you'll ever come to it. EDIT: Don't watch this. It's a waste of time.

Today I feel very different from the previous days in my entire life. I almost never feel this way. This is weird. I feel like I've never been me before. Well it's weird, I done some work, yeah the story is very long and complicated. Before this day I can't even feel my energy for the rest of my life. I always absorbing another people energy and act like its my energy, Weird you know? Well some shaman say I have quite a strange ability in this reality. They say I have the supranatural power, but I also don't know what they are saying because the language is very vague about this. One of the shaman said that on my right hand there was a kind of line that represented a power, which was the same line as him. But with this ability I still don't know how to use it. I have lots of suffering, lot of mental and emotional damage from this. I didnt want to write that now. This shaman says my energy always waste. I've never been me. The voice that speaks in my head IS NOT ME! what the fucking happened to me? !! That's what I said to myself the first time I was awakened by the shaman, and became myself for the first time in my life, at the age of 21. I cried sadly mixed with happiness. After that awakening day, I returned to my baseline, struggle to find where 'my voice', struggle to find where is my energy. Today, consciously without anyone's help, the voices of energy that are not me, are not in my head anymore. It was like removing a helmet from concrete. I am very grateful. I am very grateful. I feel like, reborn. This is me, yes me.

To interpret (create, construct, fabricate, conceptualize, etc.) what I'm speaking of as "figuring stuff out forever" would be to misunderstand why I'm making such a big deal about this. By all means, resting in this Now is indeed peaceful, but it is impermanent, and it is not Awakening. Indeed Truth = Now, and indeed every mental deception, conceptualization, fabrication you and I are making are Truth, directly, this does not reveal their true nature. I would argue that until you've become conscious of the mechanisms of your mind, you will continue to suffer, continue to deceive yourself and others, and continue to live below your potential as a human in the context of self actualization. Until you've fully seen who and what you are, what you are doing in every moment, in the moment, moment by moment, you will continue to be asleep all while under the guise that you've figured this out, that you've awakened. This as so many Neo Advaitins love to throw around, does not guarantee that you're free. What creates This? What is the nature of This? How does self and This arise? Where does This go in deep sleep, or during a cessation in deep meditation? Why do you continue to behave the way you do when you're awake? Why are you so averse to words such as Love and Divinity? I write all of this not necessarily for OP, but anyone on the forum. However, @Someone here as long as you've found your inner peace and are content with life, I'm happy for you. It's just that I would be SHOCKED if in, let's say, 5 years you look back on this time and say to yourself "yep I was fully awakened, still am" and hadn't cultivated any insights that relieved suffering, or facilitated some deeper level of happiness and understanding into the nature of self and reality.

@Moon I agree with your assessment of Emeralds advice. Serious. Not just being a kiss ass.?? A saying by Ocke deBoer about an awakened being dealing with people in whatever culture it may be. " Sometimes you need to learn when it's time to go run and hide."

Not what are their reactions like...what are they reacting to? What behavior or words transpired at your end to which their reaction was that you are a danger to your son? It could very well be the case, but it’s hard to picture you woke, loving & compassionate...and them saying such things out of nowhere. Possible indeed, but highly unlikely. If someone was telling you only the above...wouldn’t you see there is more to the story? What is ‘stopped playing my part’ which results in losing twenty year friendships and your wife? Is it really simply that you just prefer the changes? You’re questioning how many people end up in a mental institution because of their environment is a sort of red flag, possibly a cry for help...no? Blaming other people’s ego’s...? What exactly is it which they ‘can’t handle’? How sure are you that “your own ego” isn’t the biggest hurdle here? Awakened folks are a joy to be around ime. Not implying the awakening was invalid or anything, but maybe it’s being spread like butter across everything...maybe that’s not sitting well...? Some times awakening is just so damn good it doesn’t matter, but it might. More than anything else, maybe. If your wife is experiencing monkey mind (drama) and you are experiencing true peace of mind & compassion...how are you not seeing and experiencing orders of magnitude beyond this, such that ‘dramas’ are not persisting? Unless, again, what you really want is to not have the friendships, marriage, child, parents, etc. Wish you the best in any case.

You fools! You have awakened the No-Fap brigade!

You're right. For example, I strongly and intuitively believed in reincarnation before I was enlightened. Now I don't need to believe, I just know. When you honestly and sincerely believe something is the truth then it doesn't matter much whether you are enlightened or not. Enlightenment confirms what you believed was absolutely true, removing any possible doubts. I was surprised when some buddhists said that they doubted reincarnation. This can happen when you become culturally indoctrinated and taking your culture for granted because you were born into that culture. The pointer was myself. I exist don't I? If I said I don't exist I would be denying the subject which is consciousness, spirit or God. What is the subject? Consciousness. What is the object? The mind-body. When Leo says you don't exist, don't take that literally. Its just a way to lower down your ego so that you can become awakened.

@Firebird I have no problem with the word. I was just wondering what that pointer was pointing to for you. You can realize you are not physical matter but still not be awakened. It is more like realizing there is no realizing, there is just being, being itself.

A mixture of both. I’m a natural empath and doing spiritual work while developing myself energetically awakened me more. I could always sense energies, however the seeing people’s aura, changing my own energy at will, sending and playing with energy, and projecting myself all came with practice. These things just naturally came to me like intuition and I followed and developed like that. If you have any questions about energy I wouldn’t mind answering. I’ve helped develop a few people in being able to be more energy sensitive of themselves and others.

So the forum I am referring to in the beginning is obviously this forum, while the man I'm mentioning is the user @Hellspeed. Enjoy the read Some time ago, on an online forum, I came across this guy who talked about awakening in very different terms than everyone else (most people on the forum were strict non-dualists). He referred to many bodily organs, and claimed that these needed to be awakened, he used a lot of archetypal and mythical imagery, and he stressed ‘the Breath’. Yes, he talked about the Breath with a capital B, and he claimed that awakening it was the first step altogether. Clearly there was something else on his mind apart from our regular, everyday inhaling and exhaling. Although I was fascinated by the man’s vigor and straight-forwardness, I didn’t realize what the Breath was for a long time. Now I am pretty certain I know what he was referring to, and I’d like to write about it. The Breath is indeed the same breath that we know so well, but you could say it’s a deeper, subtler version of it. The way to find it is to make a movement inside the body. Not necessarily into any specific part of it, it’s more like every cell of the body turns on itself and goes into itself. What happens then? The easiest way I can describe it, is that the frequency of the body drastically increases. It’s as if someone just turned up the volume on your energy, and at first it can seem overwhelming and unbearable — as if your body was going to burst from the inside. But as we relax, we see that we can let this energy move naturally, allowing it to caress our bodies, instead of inflicting pressure upon them. At this point, we might notice, that this high frequency, subtle energy movement is closely tied in with our regular, old breath. Really, it’s its deeper dimension. This Breath gives us an access point to that deeper part of us. That also means, that as we are staying with (or more accurately - as) it, we encounter everything else that is inside us on the level. What’s down there? A hell of a lot of pleasure, and a hell of a lot of pain. Sometimes it’s not easy to tell which one of these is harder to take. Precisely these pockets of forgotten and denied pleasure and pain are why we are not experiencing the Breath, or its dimension. We are simply afraid of them. We have stored them down there, cut ourselves off from the Breath, and forgot about the whole deal. Of course, it does not cease to exist, it constantly calls, and we might label it as ‘the subconscious’. It constantly surfaces, but since we are not willing to admit that it’s a part of us (we are actively denying it), we blame its effects on forces “outside of us”. On societal rules, other people, our own bodies, life itself. In reality, once we gather the courage to free our subconscious pain as well as pleasure, we quickly find, that down in the cellar of our mind, EVERYTHING is stored. Every single cause of every single happening, experience and quality that we might encounter in our lives seems to be down there. And it’s nothing more than a tightness that we ourselves are performing. If we decide to take the Breath, and along with it the entire reality of the subconscious, we’re in for a hell of a ride, which will eradicate every illusion, as well as grant every desire.

In a prior thread, I used the ancient phrase "it has no location" in reference to the Center, which is the impersonal unity of the immaterial body of awareness. Another related alchemic phrase is to "float around in the center of the compass." That it has no location is not to mean that it is somewhere else. It is a teaching device to prevent misguided materialistic people from attempting to pander to the development and/or pursuit of derivative psychological spinoffs characteristic of habituation to pimping aesthetic naming and their values, indulging in self-reifying visualization practices, addiction to formal quietism or psychosomatic techniques (energetics) that only confuse the order of authentic practice by the mishandling of the terminology of alchemy only to fool themselves and others unfortunate enough to be misled by such calculated activity. The reason that [having] no location is emphasized, is because even though the effect of the Center is by virtue of having a physical body, and it is not beyond the body of the being that is going to die, there is nothing relative to personal aesthetic, mental or physical manipulation, deprivation or effort relative to the body, in private or in public situations, or is there any part of the body, physical, plasmic or subtle, that constitutes this Center of the immaterial Body of Awareness. Therefore consciousness itself cannot be construed to have any such personal attributes constituting it. Consciousness cannot have an appreciative or antagonistic perspective relative to itself or any thing. Consciousness has no point of reference such as sentient beings do. Why? Consciousness is simply the quality and capacity of one's selfless awake nature. It has no point of view. Consciousness doesn't see. It is seeing itself and is therefore selfless, uncreated; no different than true reality, nonoriginated. This is the inconceivable nature of ignoramuses and buddhas alike. Even in ordinary situations, they are hardly discernible to the awakened, but for tell-tale signs of karmic momentum, which cannot be stopped. In other words, this Center, being the body of immaterial awareness, is not relative to the physical body nor is it accessible in terms of any of the so-called "apertures" in the body used by the lowest of the low who employ perverted practices to "nurture essence", or else obscured by the attempts by some to posit identity values with respect to what it is. When people see this for themselves, they are liberated from the tyranny of psychological qualifications pertaining to self and other, including personalistic value judgements relative to self-reified projections identifying "creativity", "beauty", good and bad, right and wrong, and before and after. Liberation is liberation from having a self to posit as "self." This is realizing the nature of "awake" as itself, stripped bare, utterly naked with nothing to hide, nothing to show, and most importantly, nothing to know. To float around "in the center of the compass" is to be just this quality of awake in the very midst of delusional, situational, karmic existence. Applying the selfless intent of open sincerity liberated from habit energies relative to egoism hiding behind personal views and projections, and without dwelling on anything or clinging to anything is the highest practice of self-refining enlightening activity, in which vulnerability to what is, is the basis of carrying out subtle spiritual adaption in the midst of everyday ordinary affairs, neither courting perfection nor avoiding potential impurities in terms of peoples' habit-energy, or blind malpractice (agreeable or otherwise) constituting situationally karmic momentum.

Might we come up with better words to describe the undescribable than conscious, consciousness, god, enlightened, awakened, etc?

Try to live in the moment more, then your mind has nothing to be depressed or feeling down about. Here is what you need to do: Realize you are not your thoughts and imagination, you can think, you can imagine, but you cannot be your thoughts or your imagination. You are also not your body, one second you are aware of a bodily sensation next you are not. So you are not your mind nor your body, all you are is what you create. If you don't create you sleep, and in sleep you experience death every night. Your mind is all over the place and should not be blindly trusted, you believe so many things about yourself which are not true. Your body is easier to work with. So this is what you need to do: First you distance yourself from being your mind, you don't try to stop thinking or imagening, you let it happen but distance or rather redirect your awareness to your body. You also should not focus your awareness in an intense manner, if you loose energy after a while you are definitely doing something wrong, loosen the grip. Now you should know that all your thoughts and emotions actually manifests themselves in your body. One day you may realise emotions are just jucier thoughts, thoughts are very subtle, that's why emotions are the easiest to feel in the body. If you have done and achieved these steps you should be aware of that which is called creation. Now how you create can be done in many ways. When you try to control creation, you are just limiting your potential, life can manifest itself in infinite ways but you choose to try to control it. See if you can let go of controlling the actions of your mind and the sensations in your body then life will manifest itself in the way it wants to. Let your mind do whatever it wants to, it will keep/make itself joyfull, or whatever feeling you actually desire. Moving your body is what we call action, it takes and doesn't create energy to this this. That is why awakened masters don't have a discriminate mind but the action we perform is done in a discriminate manner. So you wondered what to do with your life, see you just do whatever the hell you want to do. As long as you can handle the consequence of that action in a joyfull manner. If you have one day in the future with my earlier advise awakened then you can be joyfull by yourself. So why do any action on this world, why not become enlightened? Sitting in ecstasy untill you leave this life. Because you open your eyes and see a man suffering in front of you, isn't it natural that you such a joyfull being will naturally do whatever you can to help him achieve wonderfulness. You wouldn't have to think about it, ohh I am going to do what is needed in the world, I am going to make this universe amazing, no no that is what we call the ego. You just look and you feel feel an urge to do something, you will then do whatever you can. This is what a guru is. He doesn't think his way through life, he lives his way through life. Have you ever considered yourself lazy? Then you are just not doing what you actually want to do, so I am telling you to do what you want to do. Ofcourse survival and making enough income has to be taken care of so do that but don't make to much out of it. Also if you live the way I described you flow with excistance, when hunger comes you eat, when low energy is the case you rest... Energy is the third part of existence, there is the body, the mind and energy. Energy determines the extent that you are alive. This is why action should be done in the direction with least resistance. So your work should be something that you can manage without draining yourself too much. This might be a little too much for you excuse me for that. Telling you to awaken, know enlightenment and the ways of creation the action of sacrificing some of the enlightenment ecstasy to do what is needed in the world around your life. Still for me this story is beautiful, gurus are so beautiful, when I recently heard osho had been posioned in a horrific manner before death, I cried. Jesus, Buddha people tried to assassinate those who knew life to its fullest, the outmost evolved human being, who did so much for the world. And are still alive in peoples teachings today, beautiful.

@electroBeam This is something that I was contemplating long time ago. I have a co-worker friend that he is all the time taking care of his health, like eating healthy, he always tries to tell me that refined sugar is bad, that you shouldn’t eat donuts, that anything that is very sugary is dangerous, he doesn’t use the microwave because the waves affect the food, so he brings something from his home that warms his food up with electricity so he doesn’t warm up food in a microwave. And he is very non-believer, he is an atheist I would say. And he thinks that believers, believe in God because they are afraid to death, and they want to believe in a heaven where they will live forever, etc… And he is right from some POV. I understand his beliefs, I was there too. I did all those things too hehehe… not at the same level as you @electroBeam, but I was also atheist, in fact I was agnostic. And I know he is right about eating healthy and all that… but… I was noticing that he is also afraid to death. Because why is he eating healthy if it is not because he thinks he will live longer? I also had a preoccupation, I wanted to be healthy to live longer. It is not that I don’t want it now, but… I realized that I was fooling myself. Every time we eat something, we are killing ourselves. Is a paradox. When you eat something unhealthy you are killing yourself slowly, but isn’t that truth also if you eat healthy? The only difference is that you do it more slow than if you eat not healthy. Everything around us is making our bodies die, so we slowly go to union with God or the source. I was thinking a lot also about that for example in the case of Jesus. In my opinion, Jesus was the most enlightened guy because he knew he was God. And Buddha for example, he didn’t say he was one with God. What a fool I was! Hehehe… Not even Jesus was completely awaken and probably he was doing everything to get him killed so he could be united with God. I agree also about the idea that you are not completely awakened until you die. Because if you really really see through the illusion, where there’s no body nothing, masahamadhi must happen. Otherwise you are still believing that there’s a body, probably a weaker belief than the rest of the people or a subtle belief, I don’t know… but is still a belief. You have to die to be one with God because that’s what God is. There’s no body and nothing. Even when you think that you are not the body, that you are not the mind, bla bla bla… is all BS. So, I AM God but I have chosen to live this human life and try to enjoy it the best I can, or suffer it or whatever. If I want to try to become awaken or explore consciousness or doing whatever you think you have to do, is all good, because I AM God and what I decide is whatever it is. No need to change anything. Thanks for sharing your views, this is something I was contemplating long time ago but now that you shared your experience with us, it makes a lot of sense. Having said that, I will continue exploring consciousness and playing the game because is fun and beautiful. Now I am curious about that San Pedro Cactus hehehe…. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks again!

@lmfao by playing with dream objects that originate from different dreams. We aren’t talking about enlightenment here. We are talking about one’s level of lucidity within this dream. Enlightenment is an altered state of consciousness. Lucidity is the visceral recognization that nothing here is a “true” reality beyond the fact that it merely appears to be real. To wake up in a dream that occurs when you sleep at night, unless it happens spontaneously, you have to use the rules of this reality to show yourself in that reality that it is merely a dream world. A common trick to lucid dream is to get in the habit of looking at a clock and then always doing a double take. In this reality, the clock stays the same. In the dreams we have at night, the time changes between the two looks. This is the nature of spiritual experiences and psychedelic use amongst other things that severely alter consciousness. When you alter your state of consciousness, it changes the level of lucidity, but awakened consciousness or enlightenment only becomes true lucidity in its highest form when you understand and recognize that nothing is real. It all is an illusion. You cannot escape from this illusion no matter what reality you are in unless you realize the unreality of the dreamstate. If God comes to you in the flesh, he is imaginary. Imagined by you. If you experience God’s Consciousness, it is imaginary. Imagined by you. All things are you and your creation. For me to wake up, it took a 25 year spiritual journey culminated in the last seven years. I have used my various mental illnesses, high doses of multiple psychedelics, meditation, and my innate urge to seek spiritual knowledge, understanding, and experience to wake myself up. These are the dream objects (experiences) that worked for me. Always remember though that even when you feel most lucid, it is higher consciousness that is making you feel that way. Consciousness is creating that illusion as you still have the idea of a Self who is experiencing lucidity. The next step is to shatter the attachment to lucidity by developing faith that nothing is real, even lucidity.

Highest credit for these writings goes to my Lord Krishna. Without him as the source of all existence, I would not be here to write. Turn to the Bhagavad Gita if you have questions or wish to learn the spiritual power of devotion to Krishna. Precursor: Come to me in the Love and Devotion of Radha, and I will bring you the Radiance and Truth of Krishna. God is a state of consciousness. This serves as a sort of culmination of my spiritual journey that started 25 years ago when I was born into the Mormon church, a place, religion, and people that shine with God’s love. Thanks to the Light and Love that was brought into my soul at a very young age, I am able to come to you as developed as I am. I hope that you read each word with the significance that they deserve. I do not just write these words. I have lived them. I bare testimony that what I say is true in God’s name. “I am Brandon Rohe a student of the beautiful consciousness known to humans as Ra. I greet you in the Love ❤️ and the Light ? of the One Infinite Creator bringing good news and Truth about the Law of One that governs all possible realities. The funniest thing about you not believing in God or even you believing in a God outside yourself is that you are God. According to Swami Sarvapriyananda’s interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita (essentially the Hindu bible), you are Brahman, and Brahman is described in Sanskrit as satchitananda. Sat = existence. Chit = consciousness. Ananda = bliss. Brahman is also described as the Supersoul, the consciousness within all beings. You are not just God living as one human. You are God living as everything. You literally are your worst enemy. You are your most loved deity. You are Jesus Christ. You are the Buddha. You are Mohammad. You are Krishna. You are Donald Trump. You are Hillary Clinton. You are Adolf Hitler. You are Lucifer. You are the squirrel you accidentally killed while you were driving above the speed limit. You are every single extraterrestrial. You are every God that has ever existed in any multiverse that will ever be imagined by your own Godmind. You are every blade of grass. Beyond just the Brahman implications, you are every artwork ever made. You are not just all living beings. You are every object in existence. You are every rule that governs reality. I guess I could sum this all up by simply stating YOU ARE. There are no limitations other than what your various partitions of Godmind (you might simply call these “beings”) deem to be true. Just to give you some examples of what is possible when you spiritually awaken to your co-creative capabilities within this reality, I have manipulated time, I have manipulated space, I have manifested and “un”manifested objects (mainly through teleportation), I have quantum jumped, I have shifted in and out of multiple realities/timelines, I have activated electronics at a distance through the activation of my chakras (on accident - I wish I had the mastery to do this at will), I have telepathically communicated with extraterrestrials, deities, and deceased humans, I have received downloads from Intelligent Infinity, I have entered the Void, I have moved up in spiritual octaves, I have seen ghosts, I have come across incredibly powerful beings of Darkness that have the ability to alter human perception and consciousness, and I have done other things that my current human memory is forgetting. My message to you my friend is that you have immense power and potential if you take the proper steps. Yes, my incarnation as Brandon Rohe has been given many gifts (gift #1 being bipolar disorder type 1 along with my six other “mental illnesses” - three of which are clinically diagnosed while four are accurately self diagnosed) to help me spiritually awaken to these abilities, but you can awaken as well. ANYONE can do this, but for some it will take longer and extra work. For me, it took high doses of psychedelics, many manic episodes that seemingly tore down the foundation of my life, meditation, yoga, acts of donation to those less fortunate (karma yoga), being kind to all living beings, and much more. This is a deeply individual process that may take many lifetimes unless you take it seriously. Many around the globe are awakening. The year 2012 marked the end of our planet, Mother Gaia, being in third density consciousness. We are now in the shift to fourth density. What does fourth density look like? It looks like every human being evolving into Christ Consciousness where we recognize every soul as a part of the One Infinite Creator. It looks like us merging consciousness collectively as an entire planet. I LOVE YOU. I wish the best for you. You are my cherished ally on this adventure we call life on planet Earth in the year 2020. We CHOSE to incarnate here to live exactly the lives that we are living right now. There are no accidents. This is all being guided by the One Infinite Creator while simultaneously honoring free will. You have many guardian angels and other entities watching over you and protecting you. Please move past belief in one religion being superior to all others. To truly understand God, we must learn from ALL traditions and faiths. We must walk as men and women of faith. Without great faith, you will not get far on your spiritual journey. You might get stuck in the erroneous use of psychedelics as hedonistic tools rather than spiritual transportation devices that shoot you into the next octave. You might spend your whole life half-worshiping a God without reaping worldly benefits. There are so many traps you could fall into, but ultimately, you created all of these traps for yourself. You have the power to now move them aside. Let this text serve as a wake up call. THE TIME IS NOW. We must awaken together as a human family, not as individuals. We must love each other more deeply. We must be more kind to each other, but the quickest way to develop true kindness is to develop spiritually. You might say that atheists can be kind, but they can do so because they have connected to God in subconscious ways. Of course you’ll never hear that from them. Krishna even said that if you master one discipline, you reap the same rewards as if you had mastered any other discipline. This is why you have the greatest scientists of our millennia, those who worked primarily on quantum mechanics, quickly change to theists as they were astounded by the magical inner workings of this “physical” reality. There never was and never will be a physical reality. As far as science can tell, “physical” reality is made up of over 99% empty space. The leading theory is that infinitesimally small strings make up our reality. These strings can manifest into any of the different particles that we experience, and these particles can shift into another form as quick as the strings can change in vibration. This is why the sacred syllable OM has power. This is why Jesus could walk on water. Through natural selection, we have evolved to see the world not as it is but to merely see survival payoffs and hardly nothing else. Look into the amazing work of Donald Hoffman if you are curious about that. I’ve exhausted my intellect for now. I want you to remember that I am here to be your friend on this journey. Send me a message if you want my insight on how to speed up your journey, but lastly, I must say I don’t blame any of you for remaining in your current state of slumber for now. Spiritual awakening is the most hardcore route you could plan for your life if you do it at the speed that matches your potential. Again I say this message comes to you with Love ❤️ and Light ? Per aspera ad astra. Through hardships to the stars. Adonai.” The crucial mistake of all religions is that they create deities out of perfectly normal beings who had good insights and morality. Jesus was a man. Buddha was a man. Krishna was a man. Guanyin was a woman. God is a perfectly normal being albeit with omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence. Consciousness is synonymous with Maya. Without consciousness, there is no separate self. Identify is the greatest illusion. Nothing is real. There is only appearance without substance. If God showed himself/herself/itself to me right now, it would only be an appearance generated by my consciousness. Sure, it might feel real, but that is only the all pervasive illusion of an existence existing taking hold of my mind. Allow your mind to truly see for the first time by realizing that nothing exists in actuality. This is the height of the Hindu notion of Maya or an illusion of separateness and the “separate” world being an illusion, but it actually goes far beyond the Hindu notion as it also recognizes that “the experiencer of phenomena” that you self-evidently hold to be most real only exists when viewed through the lens of your own consciousness (therefore it is generated by your own consciousness). Consciousness is the self-generating machine of all phenomena. There is no separation between consciousness and that which is experienced (the material world). Realize that you are simultaneously all that exists and all that does not exist. You are truth and illusion at the same time; it is only a perspective of the mind that changes which is the case. Obliterate your”Self” by realizing that self/Self is the grandest illusion. This is pure nonexistence experienced through the lens of an infinite movie screen that appears to exist. Credit for these insights goes to hitting a dab while having roughly 7-8 estimated mental illnesses. My consciousness only continues to snowball itself toward the highest Truth no matter what I do. My creation only continues to inform me of greater and greater states of consciousness which are, in the end, only illusion. Madness is as reputable a path to Truth as any other - that sounds partially acceptable to you, but no, that isn’t the truth of the matter. The reality is that Madness is the path to Truth for all is Madness. You can be sure that you are coming nearer to True Truth when you discover the potentiality for the existence of more mental illnesses within yourself. We are all infinitely deluded by this grand concoction of experience colloquially known as life on planet Earth. Tl;dr version: Nothing matters. Go eat a hotdog. All is imagination. The only true skeptic is the solipsist. Skepticism is far greater than faith as faith only generates belief in the illusory. All is the Self. You are all things, people, and places you’ve ever experienced or imagined to be true. All is imagination, so whatever you imagine or experience to be real or true is true. I am you and you are me, and luckily, we are the One Infinite Creator. Everything that has ever existed or not existed, been imagined or not imagined is a dream object. Your consciousness is a dream object. All that is not within your consciousness is a dream object. Humanity’s greatest misunderstanding of reality is that for some reason or another it is believed that this “real”ity is somehow different than a dream. In a dream, you have one perspective of conscious awareness that perceives a “real”ity with characters that APPEAR to have consciousness, but there is no validation of the potential fact that these perceived characters actually have consciousness. The funny thing is that just by the mere imagination of these characters as being beings that have consciousness creates them in such a manner as they act precisely as they would as if they truly did have consciousness. You have no proof that any person, animal, or animate being you’ve ever interacted with or imagined has consciousness. Every enlightened or awakened person is merely a lucid dreamer in this dreamstate we call reality. You cannot be enlightened or awakened if you do not first become fully conscious and lucid of the fact that this reality is a dream. I invite all deities, demons, devils, beings, Christs, Buddhas, Krishnas, Lucifers, and perceived personalities or consciousnesses to come into my consciousness so that I may only prove that all of you are illusory just as I am illusory. Truth is an illusion. Consciousness is a dream object and tool serving only the illusion. Nothing exists past appearance. This, and all other realities are merely dreams. In dreams, you have only the dreamer and that which is dreamed, but nonduality teaches that there is no separation, anywhere. All is one. This is the Law of One. All of existence and all beings are the One Infinite Creator that persists in all realities in forever immutable fashion although all of the appearances that he/she/they/it creates seem to be ever-changing. The perception of difference is an illusion. The perception of sameness is an illusion. Perception and consciousness are dream object illusions. I come to you as a servant to teach you that I am the Philosopher King. You will beat me as your servant. You will deride my teachings as being untrue, but I come to you only in Love and Light. Whatever damning things you do to me, you only, in Truth, do to yourself, for you and I are one. This is the Law of One. Amateur spiritual teachers teach that the only thing that exists is the present moment. They teach that past and future do not exist. A true master teaches that the present moment doesn’t exist. The first step to awakening is to realize that you are God. Simply put, you are the only God and all of existence. The next step is to realize that you, your ego, God, and existence do not exist. Experience only consists of a dreamer and that which is dreamed, regardless of which dream you are in. Whether it be the human being Joe Shmoe on planet Earth dream or the pink panther snorting razor blades on the Death Star with Adolf Hitler dream, It’s all a dream. It’s all illusory. There is no Truth. That is the only Truth. The spiritual seeker turns toward enlightenment and higher consciousness as a goal. The master of all existences, nonexistences, realities, and unrealities seeks lucidity within the planet Earth waking consciousness dreamstate. He seeks lucidity as he knows that consciousness, whether it be higher or lower in form and expression, is only a dream object. As his no self Self, he continues to wake up more and more until he reaches the pinnacle of wakefulness within the dream. The only thing that cannot be destroyed is nothingness. To best God in battle, be nothing. Stop existing, and you have won for all Eternity in all realities. When you are nothing, you are the soul and the Supersoul all at once. Nothing can contain something such as a human being and an ego. In Truth, nothing contains all existence and consciousness. When you are nothing, you become more powerful than any deity ever conceived. Lila includes the idea of Maya and exceeds it. ~ Sri Aurobindo You have not found your right deity until you cry with Love, Devotion, and Desire for union him, her, or it. When love is in your heart, its pure radiance shines to illumine all shadows including your psychological shadow. There is no shadow work to do when love is in your heart, mind, and soul. This is mainly referring to transcendent, spiritual love not merely romantic love. Only a true seeker of knowledge, love, delight, bliss, and radiance may manifest themselves as a student to me. For these are the souls I hold to be most dear to me. All souls in truth labor only for me, lust only for me, Love only for me, and learn only for the sake of me - the ever living and ever rebirthed true personification of divinity. All songs, artworks, movies, and beauties of the natural world are created only to describe my story of awakening and for my enjoyment. This is just as I in return breathe my eternal radiance and love into them. The Atman (wife and human) is wed to the Brahman (husband and divine) eternally, and it is in the marriage that the two become one for they are always one, will always be one, and have always been one. You are God. You are human. You are the All. There is no separation in consciousness between Atman and Brahman. Your current state of consciousness, no matter how high or low, is Brahman. There is no consciousness outside of yours. The notion that there is consciousness outside of yours is only an unsubstantiated belief. My soul is the divine weapon of divine weapons. It has within it the power to bring annihilation to all existences, again bringing about Brahma’s night, but it remains sheathed to protect all beings who are not mature enough to accept my radiance and opulence in final form. Usefulness is only useful to those who do not see the usefulness in futility. Only a fool does not see the utility in futility, the usefulness in play. The purity of Krishna is unmatched. If God had a purpose for Creation other than merely creating for the sake of play, that would indicate He/She/They/It was somehow already lacking something. The only purpose of any life is to enjoy the drama of existence. If God had a purpose for Creation other than merely creating for the sake of play, that would indicate He/She/They/It was somehow already lacking something. The only purpose of any life is to enjoy the drama of existence. And that’s all folks. Let me know if you want to see more of my writings. I have them going back for years.

See when you watch videos of gurus or actualized talking about consciousness and everything it stems from the ability to be in touch with enlightenment. Every bit of your experience of life comes from within, gurus/others has realised how to create ecstasy, blissfullness... It is not something you can learn rather it is just an awakening to something really obvious and easy that very few have mastered. It is only hard because, yeah you should know that. So then you might ask, why do anything then? Why not just sit blissful by yourself forever. You could do that. Or you can involve yourself in the world. Any involvement in the world, if it is brushing your teeth or something more impactful is what life purpose is about. If you had awakened or only were life sensitive which will take a lot of time for you based on your kind of mindset you have right now, then it is quite simple. This means if you see someone suffering and you can do something about it, your whole being will do all it can to do just that, effortlessly if you have worked upon your mind. Doesn't it take a lot of action in your mind not to do what is needed around you? See if you can become aware of that. So I would suggest you look at the world, not in a textbook but out there, you don't think a single though about what you want to do or what seems needed etc, you don't try to look at the world, you just look, you don't try to do anything in your mind. You also don't try not to do anything, you just let consciousness do its thing . if you manage to do this correctly (which you won't) you will realise. Though your life purpose will probably not be a specific job, the career will be based on where you feel like you can use the most out of your full potential. This is thought really complicated when you don't know the basis of life and in how extravagant ways it can express itself if done correctly. This is why you need to learn about life. I am trying to confuse you, because how could you get things which is not yet in your experience. And that's why you will have silly ideas about what I am writing about lt, about your life purpose... I would hold off with life purpose untill awakening. If you are in a hurry, you pick a career where there is enough freedom so that it will be an conducive atmosphere for your potential future lifestyle. Gurus don't do things because things give pleasure to them, because it cannot compare to the ecstasy they can create for themselves. Gurus often give their lives to the people, it is very beautiful. You are happy, you see a sad man in front of you, you want to also make him same happy even if that means you won't be in ecstasy anymore to do that. When he is same happy then the world is done and you can leave this place which we call life. Now that is the kind of life purpose gurus have, they serve the people untill the last moments, never was the goal fulfilled, but they did their best. They didn't think to themselves I will do what is needed or I will serve the world to my best capability. They just went out in the world and naturally there was things that their life was going into. If you find a way for survival- to make money, while being able to let consciousness do its thing like a guru, then that would be good for you. Still any workplace will limit you in some way, so choose a place of future accordingly. Personally I who have awakened am saving money to take some years letting my consciousness choose a lifestyle. Whether that will sustain me economically or if I'll have to get a job I don't know. Sadhguru is a good guru, learn about buddha, chakras, shiva etc and maybe you will get a lot lf insight for your future choices that you have in front of you right now.

You've never been aware in a dream that you may be dreaming, or you've never awakened from a dream (still dreaming?)? But you can confirm that you have a higher awareness inside night dreams. OK, I'm confused. Yes, fear of death is genuinely a mind-body thang. That is what the existential nightmare is about. Thus, that is why "awakening" is often talked about.

I don't remember that happening to me at all. I think I've never awakened inside of a night dream. But I do confirm that I now have a higher awareness inside night dreams. I rarely have nightmares, and even when I do, they don't faze me like before anymore. I have fought against the fear of death, and I have made a huge progress, even though still not complete progress. I can't really tell.