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Keep in mind that I'm no psychologist. My knowledge doesn't extend further than a general interest in psychology, philosophy and self-help, so take what I say with a grain of salt. First of all, it seems like your mind is juts very cluttered, with overlaying stressors and internalized feelings of believing you are unworthy of love. Feeling like your inherently unlovable seems to be a recurring theme, between fatherly abandonment, feeling like nobody supports you and generally being lonely. This could explain why you are hung up on your mother scolding you for molesting your younger sibling, even though it would be normal to freak out over that kind of sibling abuse, objectively speaking. It's an old wound. It might be worth going through and explicating what is objectively your fault VS what is theirs for each issue you've had for every major relationship you've had in a kind of list style. A = incident B = what your responsible for in this incident C = what they are responsible for in this incident This way you can make it clear in your mind what is theirs and what is yours in a more objective manner. The truth is that a lot of abuse is not about you anymore than the fact that you where vulnerable at that moment and the abusers very own psychology. You also seem to tend to interpret things in a very negative way. Like with the example of your mom scolding you earlier. It is a fact that she freaked out. It is a subjective interpretation that that means your inherently unworthy of love. I believe it is a symptom of BPD to ruminate and catastrophize. This tendency towards a negative and implicitly self-defeating thinking could be contributing to your feelings of suicidality, which is in my understanding the consequence of prolonged distress and not being able to see a way out. Suicide is a symptom of not being able to imagine a way out of distress. One technique you could try, if you feel so inclined, is softening your language. Softening one's language lets you negotiate with negative thinking. For example, you recently experienced a bunch of set-backs, like losing your job, losing money, drugs not working, etc. The first obvious example is to think of these as set-backs as opposed to failures. Or another example, "the medical system exploited me" to "they don't know what they are doing". Or "life is really hard" to "life is challenging". However you choose to interpret a situation, you'll be right. It's not about gas lighting yourself but dialing how you interpret events. In reality, this events don't actually mean anything. Your mind creates meaning in order to deal with this situations in order to survive, but one's interpretations aren't always constructive and solution-oriented.

Meaning is a projection of the mind. As a tribesman, you have very little individuality and the tribe equips you with all meaning. This is also fundamentally true of modern societies, but you have way more wiggle room as an individual as the scale of society expanded. But there is something to be said about the meaninglessness of modern society. We live in a highly material society which has rejected the religious spirituality of the past, but didn't replace that with anything beyond a vague pursuit of happiness. It is one of the downsides of stage orange and likely an aspect which will exhaust the population of it. People are missing meaning in their life. The other day, I learn of a violent prank called the "Blue Whale" which are a series of challenges which illicit young people to partake in a series of increasingly violent forms of self-harm, culminating in suicide. I can easily imagine young and very lost people being drawn to something like that just because it gives them a purpose. But it is not the case that modernity is exclusively meaningless, you just have too be more proactive about it. There are plenty of examples of people who live meaningful lives today. Arguably humans are adapted for tribal life. So we would naturally "slot in" to that kind of lifestyle and easily find meaning in our lives. But you can't compare modernity to tribal life without acknowledging that being a hunter-gatherer was an extremely hard life with very little room for self-dignity. Modern life is the current peak of humanism in comparison. There is no denying it. It is not possible to find a better time alive to be "useless" and have self-dignity, or the best you can get at least, be it as gay, elderly, sick or as a child. In a tribe, the elderly and children are particularly vulnerable. Child mortality is high and the elderly are often killed or left for dead if they can't up. There's an account of an Acho man who used to sneak up to older aunts and kill them with an axe. And he was proud of it too. Greenland, whose culture is closely rooted to a stone-age culture due to being a nomadic hunter-gatherer society up until colonization only a few hundred years, tend to see children as somewhat disposable, with sexual abuse of children being rampant (about every third child). In part due to the liberal tradition being less rooted in their culture as well as other factors like rampant alcoholism. That is not to say that modern society doesn't have any evils of its own, like pollution (I would be tempted to say war too, but that would actually not be accurate. Relatively, we live in the most peaceful era of human history). There also the factor of depth. The meaning you would find being a tribesman is obvious and immediately enrapturing, but it is also limited by how harsh life is. Most of your thoughts go to "food" and "danger". Compared to modernity, you can create and discover incredible purpose and meaning that can change other people's lives. Just look at any great musician or philosopher. It's like, would you rather have the tastes and hobbies of a dog or a wine connoisseur? The latter is easily pleased, but doesn't enjoy nearly the same depth. Technology is just an extension of natural means through ingenuity and generational knowledge. Humans have always used technology to survive better and to better themselves. Because it improves our survival it contributes significantly to the development of our consciousness overall.

@Basman this is brilliant. Yes. I have been conditioned with the belief that I should be happy and I should love myself. I have had this seared into my brain since I was a young child. I felt that the fact that I was unable to love myself because of these things were further proof of my failure and inadequacy. This is also likely why I put purpose on a pedestal as it has to do with being self made and successful as if it would make me happy. I never actually managed to undo these kinds of beliefs and dispositions. I guess I can try to talk about these more openly as they tie into some of my existential problems and questions which ultimately led me to actualized.org. Why do I believe I need to be happy? Why do I believe unhappiness makes me inadequate? What does success mean to me? Why do I believe being successful will make me adequate? Starting out, the belief that I needed to be happy seems to have started when I went to the doctor with my mom as a young child. The doctors started asking me if I was happy. I didn't know why they were asking these questions. Apparently they knew I was at a higher risk of suicide because of my father abandoning me. When asked these questions I would pause and seem confused. I wasn't sure what it meant to be happy. Part of me felt deeply uncomfortable and didn't want to tell them no. Therefore I ended up just smiling and laughing and then saying "well I'm happy now. So now what?" They ended up accepting this answer. Now that I think about it, they were completely full of shit because it should be obvious that something is up here if the child is hesitant and unclear as to what is meant by happiness. Basically they were teaching me to mask. At the same time it made me think along the lines of them wanting me to feel satisfied in life in general, but they never told me what that would look like. They probably didn't want to tell me that satisfaction in life would be having a loving and present father along with my mother. That would make me happy in life, but I never had that. At the same time I got the impression like I was supposed to be happy because they wanted me to. They never told me what I should be looking for in a happy life. It left me with this sense that being unhappy was somehow unacceptable but they never told me why they suspected I would be unhappy, so I was deeply confused by this. I never had the experience of a present and loving father, so how would I know that that is what I wanted and needed? I thought it was normal for fathers to abandon their kids and leave them with single mothers given the example I saw in my parents. But the belief that I should be happy seemed to stem from this. It was a means of denying my misery of my father's abandonment. They knew from the beginning that I was a higher risk of suicide but did not tell me anything about what they were getting at, leaving me lost and confused as to what happiness means. To me happiness means having present and loving parents who respect each other and set a good example for their children so I can grow up to be like them rather than being lost in life by being forced to figure out everything myself. I had no real guidance and I am so fucking tired of trying to figure out everything myself without the guidance of a close decent human being who I can trust. This would then tie into why I think unhappiness makes me inadequate. I was left with the impression that my mom wanted me to happy and that it was somehow wrong if I was unhappy. They never told me why though. It was likely because they knew I would be more likely to die by suicide because of this. Therefore, the reason I cannot be unhappy is because it means that I would have no reason to live and I would be suffering to the point that I would be better off dying by suicide. Unhappiness to me means suicidal depression. I think it is fair to say that I don't want to live my life with this depression and unhappiness. This would be unacceptable to my mother because it would make her unhappy which in turn might make her angry with me leading to punishment or negative consequences. At the same time, the reality is that I cannot have happiness in the form of a loving family to be present for me. Therefore I need to invent some other form of happiness that doesn't involve my family. I was also afraid of starting a family because I felt that I was unworthy of existence and people would not love me if they knew who I was on the inside. I was afraid that my mother might abandon me as well like my father. To me I start to crave intimacy and connection but I simultaneously avoid it because I feel that I would not be wanted. I repeated the inappropriate sexual behavior my uncle did with children when I was six with my sister once I was exposed to it and I felt it made me unworthy of love as my mom thought I was an irredeemable bastard. I felt I was stupid for not knowing better and repeating this behavior. I felt that I was fundamentally a bad person who needed redemption even though it was already decided to be impossible. I can never be happy in life because I am not wanted. To this day I want a romantic partner who will be there for me and see me for who I am. However I doubt I would be wanted because of my mental health problems like bipolar disorder, PTSD, and others. I now lost my job and struggle to maintain consistent income. I tried getting medical help but the medical system exploited me with ineffective treatment and drained my money. I try to redeem myself through life purpose but it is impossible. Therefore I want to kill myself. What are your thoughts?

I didn't mean to attack you, so I apologize for sounding too harsh. I'm really open to many different things and I watch many testimonies of people with unique faculties, so I approached this one with real curiosity. But the story of this man doesn't sound true, despite the confident way he speaks. He didn't mention anything like the astral or other dimensions; he literally claims that he is 17 000 years old in this human body, remaining physically unchanged for thousand of years thanks to the philosopher's stone. He also claims that he was born in Atlantis, that his parents were three times the size of humans, and that he has literally visited Mars. According to his biography, he was an orphan who grew up in the care of social services, he commited crimes as a youngster and he went seven years to prison as an adult for thefts. So this background suggests at least a difficult upbringing. And he commited suicide after running into legal and financial troubles because he had threathened a debtor with a weapon. So, no, I wasn't denying the video before watching it. There are true accounts of paranormal abilities, but nothing in this particular case seems legit.

If it decriminlized supply in a single area. Of course it will. But I am not arguing that: You are trying to rationalise an irrational state and apply fear to it. I’ve seen, met and heard of many people from that life. All my personal experience gave me was experience and focus. There is no amount of fear that will work against a long time heroin user. No amount of loss. Prison doesn’t either, as drugs are rife in prison If you catch them early enough, maybe. I did meet a friend of his who got out of it early and heard about others. I couldn't tell you what the breaking point is, the bottom for a long-time user, I don't think there is one. Its just random luck and random variables. In this small village there was recently a chain of events, overdose – relapse/suicide – murder - suicide, that left four people dead. It's like a constant wound in that person; it doesn’t go away. You can rationalise the supply and production being criminalised, the sale, because that’s a business and it's one that is responsible for a great deal of misery and suffering for money. What you are trying to put fear over is the method someone has chosen to avoid their own personal trauma a lot of the time. Which is essentially a small childish part of themselves. So tell me does locking that up help society? That's the only point to argue at the end of it. If they are not stealing to support it: You might as well lock me up for comfort eating and disappearing into fantasy worlds. My brother just chose a much more difficult painful path to deal with things, and ultimately we both ended up in similar places in life. - Though I would argue, we are different people as a result of me dealing with my past and him avoiding it.

Attachment. You are attached to the contents of your mind because that's how you survive. You are not attached to the survival of others. Questioning yourself forces you to surrender parts of your mind. It's like suicide bit by bit. If you cut off a piece of your brain it hurts. Likewise if you cut off a piece of your mind/self.

Disclaimer: I understand that the following criticisms, objections, and opinions are just projections of my and the collective shadow and that all of this is untenable. Even if @vanish is a troll and didn't actually kill himself, my heavy emotional reaction is real and the lessons learned from this - maybe hypothetical - situation still hold true. For those of you who are unaware, @vanish posted some radical things on this forum - hopefully so far. He holds/held the view that awakening may only come from physical death, aka suicide. He wrote about living a life-threatening lifestyle - being in the dark, only drinking water for multiple weeks. He went into a bath full of ice almost killing himself which he announced earlier as killing "him"self. On March 26th, he wrote about the two lifestyles - self-development and self-destruction - and two days later he wrote a post saying that after he finished writing this post he is gonna shoot himself. Alot of people - including myself - started following him after this - he hasn't been online ever since. Now, I hate to say this but from an absolute perspective, every choice is equal. Fundamentally there is no difference between saving 100 lives and torturing yourself and committing suicide. I was shocked that even though I may grasp this on an intellectual level but not an emotional level - and I won't until my psychological death as @vanish would put it. The wording used by @Leo Gura and other spiritual teachers can be very easily misinterpreted: Because Leo didn't react until @vanish mentioned taking his life and almost complimented him for fasting and almost dying in that ice bath, many people accused him of talking @vanish to suicide. I would argue against this on some level; any symbol could be a trigger for any action. In theory, you could train a person to rape anyone if you say the word "peanuts". But Leo - also everybody who encouraged him, everybody who remained passive including me and for that matter everybody -, still, how the fuck didn't you stop him earlier? He was seriously playing with his health; he could have died from that ice bath. I want to discuss this issue - I think others may be also worried about this. @vanish, if you are reading this, come back and say "it was just a prank, bro!". What can we do about this? How to prevent or limit such misinterpretations in the future?

Well I was lirerally dead and after some time despite how mich being dead lasted I returned to life euphoric .Maybe Leo doesn't want to confirms it because he is afraid some of these people are nuts and commit suicide. Death is best experience you can have. You are also all knowing not in sense knowing everything but knowing how dream works . You guys are Infinite just not able to realize it because you are pre ocupied with human BS.

Camus said the first philosophical question is whether or not to commit suicide. I’ve been thinking about this deeply. From my own perspective I experience life as profoundly painful and alienating — I often feel hatred toward the human condition and wish I’d never been born. Philosophically and ethically, should someone who feels this way but isn’t terminally ill have the right to opt out through legal assisted dying? Should antinatalism be taken more seriously as a policy position? I’m interested in hearing thoughtful perspectives on this rather than platitudes.

There's corruption everywhere. Hamas is a stage purple, homophobic, death to all infidels, Islamic Jihadist suicide cult. I would suggest that Israel is slightly less corrupt and the Jihadist pissed off the wrong guy. The real corruption is that Oct 7th is Putin's birthday and Israel took the bait which was ment to distract from the Ukraine war.

Idk are you hinting at suicide ? Just don't do it. Death ain't a joke .and fuck solipsism btw.

That actually has been empirically studied recently. I'll see if I can track down the study. According to the study there is a decent amount more right-wing political violence. If memory serves, there are roughly twice as many instances of right wing political violence compared to left wing political violence. (I was wrong... there's about 5 times more right wing violence than leftwing violence) But that's only if we're keeping score, of course. And because of the observation of stochastically violence-inducing rhetoric from the far right in its current form over the past 10 years, I think it would be a fair assessment of the sentiment behind a lot of the far right values... which boils down to the suppression and annihilation of the "scapegoated other." And this rhetoric gets more and more normalized in the Overton Window month by month. So, I would be contextually more inclined to see the violent targeting of a leftwing political figure as simply the logical expression of those far right authoritarian values as carried out by violent actors on that side of the aisle who have been inflamed by that rhetoric... which is the ultimate intention of stochastic terrorist rhetoric. I wouldn't see it as an aberration of some rogue actor... but as the intention and the logical conclusion of the popular far right propaganda and rhetoric. It's sort of like how, when Matt Walsh claimed some children's hospital was genitally mutilating small children and forcibly "transing" them... and then the most violent listeners of his went and called in all sorts of bomb threats to that children's hospital. Or like when Alex Jones claimed that the parents of the Sandy Hook shooting victims were paid actors. And the craziest among his viewers went and harassed and threatened violence against them... and one of the fathers even committed suicide because of it. I see that kind of violence as the logical conclusion of that rhetoric... as the rhetoric itself is about inducing a crowd to commit violence. It would be like if a popular rock band refused to play their set until a the crowd murders and dismembers a specific member of the audience. In a crowd of 10,000 probably about 99% of them would refuse and 75% of people would be appalled. But there would be about 100 people in that crowd that would be bee-lining their way to the victim to tear them limb from limb because the band told them to. And then, 25% of people would be secretly or openly glad that those 100 people tore the audience member to pieces... because they really like the band. So, I think it's perfectly fair to say that the intention of the popular far right wing rhetoric is to have the most violent people in the base go into vigilante mode and enact political violence. It's not just a looney toon doing a looney toon thing. The intention is to ignite the looney toons of the base into doing violence. And the left has no such equivalent to that... at least in our current time among popular leftwing pundits and political figures. I'm not saying that it couldn't' happen. But I'm saying that leftwing violence is not normalized or institutionalized in any way. And most far lefties that would be advocating for such things would be pushed back on vehemently by other lefties. So, if some rogue extreme leftie kills a right winger, I'm more likely to chalk it up to perhaps being in a very fringe militant echo chamber that the vast majority of people on the left disagree with. If some rogue extremist righty kills a left winger, I'm going to assume that they're being influenced by extremely popular right wing sentiments that many people on the right agree with but probably wouldn't act on in that way unless they were following orders by someone in power... but would absolutely act on if someone in power allowed them to. I would see it as the logical conclusion of the popular rhetoric... because it is. Edit: I couldn't find the study because the US DOJ scrubbed it from their website after Charlie Kirk was shot... But here's a link that talks about the article and the scrubbing of it... https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/17/justice-department-study-far-right-extremist-violence And here's a quote to share the findings of the study... "The vanished study opened with: “Since 1990, far-right extremists have committed far more ideologically motivated homicides than far-left or radical Islamist extremists, including 227 events that took more than 520 lives. In this same period, far-left extremists committed 42 ideologically motivated attacks that took 78 lives.”"

GPT: Yes — dolphins can experience something very much like depression. While it’s hard to measure their inner emotional states the same way we do in humans, there’s strong scientific and observational evidence that dolphins are capable of complex emotions, including sadness, grief, and even depressive-like behavior. Why Scientists Think Dolphins Can Get Depressed Complex Brains Dolphins have large, highly developed brains with structures linked to emotion and social bonding (like the limbic system). Their intelligence and self-awareness (they recognize themselves in mirrors) make them more vulnerable to psychological stress. Behavior in Captivity Dolphins in aquariums or marine parks sometimes show signs similar to depression: Lethargy (floating listlessly, lack of play) Loss of appetite Self-harm behaviors (e.g., ramming walls) Some researchers suggest that confined, unstimulating environments lead to stress and mental decline. Grief & Mourning Wild dolphins have been observed carrying and guarding the bodies of dead calves for days — interpreted as mourning. Social animals that form deep bonds are more prone to psychological suffering when those bonds break. Voluntary Breathing & Suicide Debate Dolphins must consciously breathe (unlike humans, where it’s automatic). Some trainers and scientists have reported dolphins refusing to surface, effectively suffocating themselves — described as a possible form of suicide linked to depression or trauma. This idea is debated, but it highlights how unusual their biology is compared to ours. ✅ Conclusion: While we can’t diagnose dolphins with human depression, there’s good evidence that they do experience depressive-like states, especially in captivity or after trauma. In the wild, their social lives and mental stimulation seem to protect them better.

I don't touch this subject much because it's so sensitive and i have to be careful not to hit some nerves but as far as suicidal thoughts, they're just thoughts like every other thought. I will guarantee you that every single human on the face of the earth will have suicidal thoughts in their lifetime. Guaranteed. Some may have them more frequently, some may be more intense, all depends just as how other thoughts are. You may be walking down the road and a crazy thought appear of strangling the woman walking by, or kissing that cute girl up the street or eating a banana or about your mother or a student in math class, or a red car, or a forest fire, or how broke you are, or your brother, or a video game, or about watching porn, or the government......or suicide. Walking down the street again tomorrow or making breakfast....same thing, thoughts about everything under the sun then one on suicide. The next hr more thoughts(mind you, thoughts are always arising your entire life for years on end), a thought about tap water, about concrete, about the old lady next door, about sushi.....bing, about suicide. Why not. Everything else under the sun, why not that. Do we pay attention to all the 60, 000 thoughts we have a day; does every thought require your attention, no but suicidal ones do and are taken seriously than about the spider in the attic. Now we are suicidal. Imo leave this here.

Yes . I'm of course aware of the multidimensional nature of suicide . It's not just that people believe life is pointless. Some people are suicidal because they have chronic diseases or disorders or unbearable physical pain. And I'm sorry that I didn't cover this point in my post ..because I don't have an experience with this so I chose to refrain from addressing this kind of situations that could make a person wants to kill himself/herself. Thanks for your comment .

Leo says that people who are not “awake” are unhappy. Is that true? If it is, why? And since, there’s no free will, why would God let billions of people be unhappy — would that make God a sadist? Most people are miserable, but I’ve also seen non-spiritual people who seem content, especially those with a good solid position on the social pyramid. Any thoughts? If people didn't find any happiness, there would be a lot more suicide going on. Peter Ralston says that even normal people can be happy, if they work. Many normies derive happiness from simply working and then meeting their basic needs. Also what about children? They seem quite happy too, even though they are not awake.

How do you guys go about processing a friend's suicide?

Can't say for exactly the topic suicide, but what resonates is the "You can't BS them .these melodramas and self-help platitudes won't work on them" Something sucks? yeah, it sucks. Let's recognize this, and then we can move on.

Two lynchings in Mississippi yesterday, not a peep on here from the progressives consumed with sympathy for Kirk and MAGA. One homeless man, after fox news calls for their murder. Don't call fox news nazis though! https://m.economictimes.com/news/international/us/trey-reed-death-is-racial-murder-or-suicide-ask-social-media-users-21-year-old-student-found-hanging-from-a-tree-delta-state-university-tragedy-in-mississippi-no-foul-play-cleveland-police-department-investigators/articleshow/123923844.cms https://vicksburgnews.com/man-found-hanging-from-tree-in-vicksburg-identified/

I fucking told you Leo. I warned you of the threat of the extreme right and you brushed me off as “not being committed to the truth.” Well “the truth” just shot Charlie Kirk through the jugular for not being hateful to Jews and blacks enough. Fascism is an ideological cancer. It’s pure brainrot. It’s a suicide cult, and a pure corrosive force on democratic politics. There is no “debating” or “reasoning” your way out of it. You kill it in its crib, because otherwise things like this happen. And Trump has coddled them the entire time. When I say “Trump is a fascist”, it’s because he’s a fascist - he courts the Nick Fuentes and Stephen Millers and Steve Bannons of the world to hold onto power. It doesn’t matter if he, personally, doesn’t hate black people as much as they do. The fact that hes willing to use them in the first place is enough to prove he’s compromised. He has to go.

The Scandinavian right is generally quiet libertarian in my opinion. They justification for cutting wealth taxes in text book trickle-down economics. Trickle-down economics is just a rationalization for widening the wealth gap. More resources to lower/middle-class people does in fact create a prosperous society overall. The thing is, being outwardly libertarian is political suicide in Scandinavia due to a legacy of economic/social solidarity and welfare. So what this libertarians do is that they adopt a socialist mask to not alarm voters too much, then they work to slowly erode the welfare state, boiling frog style. Prime example is with the Social democrats here in Denmark, who have recently been cutting on education (in a knowledge based economy). Libertarians with a socialist mask. I can't think of a more obnoxious combo.

What does a Solipsist thinks about that? Can a Solipsist kill himself?

Leo blog mentions this channel and I hate to admit it but I fiind it to be a pretty good steal-man explanation of the right. It gives compelling arguments to why depression and suicide are up. Why people don't want kids. It also points out the hypocrisies and contradictions of the left. Any thoughts? Here's a quote and a video from the channel

@cistanche_enjoyer so you can check out my Instagram for more about me and my walk with Jesus. There’s basically a lot to say. I started pursuing him with an open heart a few months ago as a last ditch effort to solve a spiritual problem that started developing after several ayahuasca ceremonies. I was encountering a lot of darkness. And yeah he literally just saved me. Like one day was normal the next I was crying, so in love with him and everything he did on the cross for me. I turned into a Jesus freak literally overnight. I had a problem of idealizing suicide and bad depression even after years of spiritual work and trying to heal. Things would get better for a bit but then would get much worse and I would become more and more hopeless about life as time went on. All that was eradicated o v e r n i g h t. Like I wish I was making this up because then you guys would probably believe me lol but nope. It was Jesus. And yeah now as I keep drawing closer to him my life continues to come together in all the ways I wanted it too in the 15 years I was on the spiritual path but could never seem to get right no matter how much stuff I did. Laziness, addictions, self worth and confidence issues are all being healed.

Yes, they began first building illegal settlements as early as 1967. The West Bank Palestinians were so passive they took the abuse with barely a reaction for decades, finally there was a reaction with the first intifada which israel responded with far more violence. Then when israel still refused to truly engage in peace instead using lies and games to make it seem like the Palestinians were the rejectionists to push for endless occupation did the suicide bombings happen.