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Since this post is so long, you can just read the summery in parentheses after each paragraph. We have experiences, build correlations, identify patters, materialize desires, externalize needs and project them onto objects, destinations, lifestyles. We wire our mind, connect one sensation onto another, intertwine it with emotions, project and create experiences, entangle ourselves in reality, connect dots, try to make sense, find out what stays consistent, pursue what we correlate with meaning, react based on our understanding, preference, model of reality. We go meta, analyze from a higher vantage point, take on new axioms, untangle one experience from the other, build new context, strive to be more objective, less biased, less self-indulgent, more understanding, more aware of the big picture, a holistic view of where we are, what we are, how we are, why we are, that we are, to see our assumptions as assumptions, identify our intent and its source, arising experience for what it is, figure out how to do that, continue to intuit, explore, experience, be. (Sensations form constellations) Reality has many dimensions, its a sphere we can subdivide, cut into pieces, we can use the pieces to create things, shapes, forms, objects, subjects, selves. The way we connect these things, the way we cognize and make sense, the way we wire sensations with desires, impulses, drives, the way those emerge higher understanding, models, realities. We construct reality, aware or unaware of how we do it. We move our body, choose our activities, consciously or unconsciously, there are many layers of understanding and interpretation, mechanics, explanations, sciences, consistencies, nature, invisible forces, perceived changes, cycles, repetitions, patterns. The conscious and unconscious inflect upon each other to polarize into individual experiences. (Their arrangement is arbitrary) Do we have control? What is control? Is there such a thing as control? Reality flows, we make decisions, we think we make decisions, something makes decisions, we feel the drives within us, the impulses that adjust behavior, manipulate reality. Are we the ones doing it? The self, a constellation, accumulation of patters, ideas, behaviors, acquired tendencies, a reflection of the world it is apart of and yet distinctly itself, creating reality inside out and entangling itself with it, holistically interacting across multiple domains? Do I make decisions or am I simply a conglomerate of the cells that make me deciding as a hive, gut, heart, brain, the personalities within me, the arising desires. Even so, the problem doesn't dissipate, if my cells make the decisions, even then, that which I believe myself to be would simply adjust to be their emergent property, in a way it doesn't matter, since I'd still be every single one of these cells and the emergent, us making decisions or me really becomes the same thing, if will is made on a lower substrate, then the higher is not without will but a more complex expression. But that's just a theory, idea, will is an axiom, ascribed, the self is an axiom, and science is figuring it out under the assumption that it exists, there is something of a gestalt. (The ego is a gestalt) Maybe the perceiver is an illusion, all these unique forces of nature align to create the gestalt I perceive, I believe myself to be. But the duality of a perceiver separates it from the perceived. Yet all it ever sees and knows and can experience is so by virtue of being an experience perceived, by definition not the perceiver. And yet, all of that appears to come out of the perceiver, or flow through it, it is entangled by virtue of being perceived. Let's collapse the duality of perceiver and perceived. In that case everything is perceived or perceiver, let's call it capital P Perception. Perception is being, experiencing, though what about the unperceived, unexperienced, the thoughts that pass through perception and disappear back into the subconscious/unconscious aether. (The duality of perceiver and perceived collapses) There is a duality of the present experience as Perception and on the other hand the known to exist potential unactualized, dematerialized, hidden away. Of all the possible experience, one possibility is currently the case in Perception. Imagine blue, imagine red, now blue is gone but its still in the local subconscious, we can bring it back out, shuffle those two, combine them, but there is much more in the yet unconscious, random ideas we can remember, associate, spawn, an elephant, where did it come from? It wasn't there, now it is. (There is a vast hidden reality beyond the current Experience) Nothingness is the guitar string at rest, in tension, in its original formlessness, without sound, without experience, no action, pure being, all contained, itself empty, Shiva. Objects, ideas, the omni-dimensional fabric of reality, unentangled, pure, detached, without form, without purpose, without assumption, axioms, impulses, unease, tension, drives creating conflict and pursuit, the feeling of separation, the duality of selfishness and selflessness, of love and hate and apathy, and the entropy towards Unity. The ultimate nothing, the nothing that excludes itself, the idea that goes meta, cuts its tail and self-annihilates. The kundalini that burns all karma, the freedom of being content, fulfilled, untangled, of being where one wants to be, more even, the collapse of all dualities create a no-space, no-distance, everything already is, nowhere to go, nowhere to be, a singularity that merges all and annihilates all distance. Now there is no story, no protagonist, no world, no being nor non-being, neither isness nor non-isness, when all dualities, all pointers collapse themselves. (Nothingness collapses all forms into the base state) Nothingness is the realization that any constellation of experience is possible, that any arrangement of forms is arbitrary. That any desire connects itself to other sensations creating a gestalt. Forms keep themselves afloat, they link and associate themselves to other forms, creating pathways, roads, directions, cycles, stories, experiences, dependent arising/origination whose contrast creates an actual Duality that correspondingly spawns the idea of itself, through identification of the inherent difference of perception, which is created inside out through sensory perception, but on a larger scale the universe really takes that form in order for it to become the experience of an individual to be processed and interpreted further. But that actuality is a higher form of the same phenomenon, invisible forces, laws of physics, dependent origination, complexifying and turning itself into self-perceiving observers made conscious through the perception of those more universal forms. There is consciousness and within it infinite forms. (The universe splits itself into dualities and experiences itself through entities) This isn't a reason to despair into nihilism, nihilism ultimately inflects upon itself and dissolves as well. Purpose is self-determined, socially expanded/contextualized/harmonized, God a dreamer across infinite dimensions, lifeforms arrange themselves creating tendencies and desires, exploring the universe. We use senses to create ourselves, cognition to understand ourselves explicitly, through intuition implicitly, our brain is both dual and non-dual, left and right hemisphere, order and chaos, form and creativity that arises from the formless. We are created and on a higher level create ourselves, our awareness of the process is variable, dualities form different interpretations and collapse into higher self-understanding. (We create and experience ourselves through dualities and exist independently in the formless) We build systems, sciences, mathematics, physics, biology, they are self-contained systems, maps, a conceptual reflection of reality, a variable progressing technical mechanistic understanding, we try to unite them through formulas, strive to achieve complete consistency. Reality is outside of that, it is Meta. We use these rules to understand correlations, to manipulate reality, but reality can always go meta, can always be more. In a new realization, it itself becomes the past, a lens of perception, interpretation, correlation, constellation. But it is cut off from the ever rejuvenating present that transcends it and expands itself non-linearly by creating new patterns that are retroactively integrated, universal intelligence, Chitta. (Systems are self-contained mechanically consistent models that correspond or correlate with specific aspects of reality, but reality is infinitely more meta) Pragmatically, we keep ideas, models, relations in our mind, but there is a force capable of instant understanding, the source of creation, a cosmic intelligence that leads one to understand what a thing is in itself, unmeasured by contrast, untainted by preference, bias, desire. I am attached to models, understanding, but there is a force that transcends and skips all that by going beyond and becoming the thing it seeks to understand, foregoing all the complicated dualistic calculations that try to understand a thing through its correlation with other things. An awareness, that sees and knows, an intuition that feels, a top-down understanding and the more I break away from creating systems, that more I access it, but its always beyond. If I want to create something in this dualistic world, then I conceptualize, associate and relate what I know, then use this knowledge to create. But to use this transcendent intelligence is go straight to the source of one's desire and work top down, breaking the top holon into the simplest pieces necessary to replicate it and discovering new patterns in the process. (There is a cosmic top-down intelligence that arises spontaneously to those with an empty mind) One has goals, dualities created for the pursuit of happiness, but the pursuit itself creates separation, and yet that pursuit itself is the result of a previous state of unhappiness, it is an attempt to solve it, but it is a separate overlay, a distinction created to externally resolve a corresponding projected image of an internal state. That internal state however is a result of one's own self-understanding and psyche, self-image, the belief that the external shall inform the internal, that internal feelings ought to correspond to external achievements or environments. This dichotomy itself is the problem, internal states are self-regulated, self-imposed, self-determined, it is simply the lack of consciousness that prevented one from seeing that all internal feelings are a self-determined correspondence to external reality. Wants and desires are subconsciously wired to the allowance of the experience of happiness, initially they are wired for survival, after this when a model of reality is constructed in childhood, reality is far more variable and flexible, but with oughts/shoulds and expectations a pattern of gratification, of conditioned happiness is developed, assumed objective, assumed real, believed into existence, a self-fulfilling prophecy, a blindspot, a mechanic system of beliefs but greater reality transcends the limitations that the ego loses itself in. (Happiness is natural state that the ego separates itself from through conditions) Unity -> Duality -> Arrangement -> Interpretation -> Systems -> Consistency -> Mechanics -> Knowledge -> "Facts" -> Ego Ego -> Adaptation -> Exploration -> Change -> Transience -> Dynamicism -> Awareness -> Ego-Death -> Non-Duality -> Unity The world we see is an arrangement of many patterns, physically seeming properties, idea constructs, but they're dynamic, they reference an ever morphing system. Any idea, word, sentence is an attempt, a pointer towards an aspect of reality, ideas are absolute by themselves as definitions but are really just a map, not the territory. There is a process that creates the very ideas separate from territory. There is a process that creates the very territory itself. And there is a process that correlates the territory with maps and brings those maps into awareness as a bridge, (The map is not the territory but the process that allows for the creation of maps is quite fascinating) Everything is actual but some things are more directly actual than others. Actual Nothing -> Actual Something -> (Actual) Idea of Something -> (Actual) Idea of Nothing Though this is still a duality, if the territory is the truth, then the map is part of the territory, The map is a subset of the territory that creates a systemized reflection through available mechanisms. And then there is the territory itself, an uninterpreted, unsystemized non-dual experience of something that can be described through a thousand lenses and gives rise to any and all interpretations and creates a dozen dualities. The experience itself: "Actuality", of course actuality is a duality, or it can be used as such, clearly by the very fact of the existence of a word, it points to something and by pointing to something it points away from somewhere else. Actuality as a duality points to that territory from which all maps arise, it points away from the maps and onto the thing itself left uninterpreted. The greater capital Actuality however encompasses the map and dissolves the duality, the focus dissipates, everything becomes experience, including the process of creating maps and the maps themselves, the duality and objectification of the separation disappears. Everything becomes the territory, but that fact can only be understood by transcending the journey from where one stands, which is often from inside the duality that is to dissolve. (The map is actually a subset of the territory and merges with it in Non-Duality) In summery, Non-Dual Nothingness is the fabric of all being, it takes forms creating dualities and distinctions, creating objects and subjects and maps that are a subset of reality, any one thing can be interpreted in a million ways by a million lenses through association, distinction, pattern recognition. When Non-Dual Nothingness is paired as a duality with Non-Dual Infinity, that duality itself can be dissolved into a larger Non-Duality. Where everything is only and ever itself, all contexts can arise and are themselves as well. A superposition of any thing, a superposition of any combination, a superposition of any interpretation. A superposition of every pattern, the combination of any pattern with any other pattern in any constellation in relation to any other constellation, in any form or time, or relation, or entropy, contextualized and actualized in the infinite dream. (Nothingness and Infinity are two sides of the same coin and that coin itself is a superposition of anything and everything in any context and every context infinitely interconnected and intermerged in relation and contrasted to any and all other possibilities. To go meta is to transcend and include and the ultimate meta is that which transcends and includes everything including nothing and itself)

These are all links that helped me on my Spiritual Journey (only including Actualized.org sources) there are other sources that I used in the past but I wanted to keep them exclusively to this site so we can stop having new people coming to this site having to ask the same questions over and over making Leo threads asking him the same stuff. We can all admit that Leo doesn't always give satisfying answers in some threads while in others he does (it might be fatigue not sure why) but these threads helped me in understanding my own trips and realizations (I'm blessed in that seeing through self-deception comes easy to me...many people on this forum are self-deceived and are stubbornly so). I do Spirituality in a Scientific way. I tripped multiple times, meditated, and compared and contrasted different trip reports and perspectives of various people on here and youtube and ancient teachings. At a certain point certain things keep repeating themselves. Also since my base line Consciousness is lived Soberly as Direct Consciousness I can absolutely agree that traditional Buddhist Teachings are deluded. All that exists is Universal Mind. This is what all is mind means. So anybody that makes their teachings using terms like No Mind will confuse people who are new because that language will deceive them that there is actually something that isn't mind. I know when they say that they are pointing to the human mind/ego mind/conditioned mind, but its better to just say that. Many people on this path are too dogmatic and too addicted in trying to sound profound that they destroy the clarity of Spiritual Teachings. If you are truly sincere you will only want to help spread proper understanding. Anyway just my two cents....here are the Threads where Leo Gura answers many questions that get repeated on this site. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15 16. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/15797-you-have-100-free-will-and-you-also-have-no-free-will-the-other-side-of-the-paradox/ I usually avoid threads that are attack threads of Leo because usually its some weak arguments devoid of any deep spiritual work (not always but usually) but I think this thread has some beautiful responses so I'll link it here. Now for some of Leo's blog posts...... 17. https://www.actualized.org/insights/thoughts-on-unconditional-love This next blog post is really the only reason I was able to find Spirituality and discover God. I was raised Christian, and even though Christianity is a corruption of God's message for humanity it was integral to my journey. As this blog post explains Religion only exists because God exists. 18. https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-126 Last but not least next link is a thread Flying Lotus did of Non Youtube Videos of Leo talking about various topics which can add to a deeper understanding of his content. Now understand all these threads are good for contemplation and integration but a couple of things need to be said. 1. Reading on the forums is NOT TRUE Spiritual Work towards awakening. It can be Spiritual Work as a SHARING but it is NOT Spiritual Work towards awakening. With that said...could you have a spontaneous awakening from consuming Spiritual Content? Yes!!! It has happened to me sober before so its possible as everything helps along your journey. But what is more effective in general is STATE CHANGE!!! You must focus on CHANGING YOUR STATE. The conditioned mind is VERY HARD to escape because you believe it to be you, it's really only a part of you, not the whole thing. It's funny because the conditioned mind blocks you from being able to perceive the PERFECTION of REALITY. REALITY is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, but its perfection is blocked by all your judgments. 2. The key to this work is Self-Honesty. YOU WILL NOT REACH GOD THROUGH LIES. Understand that ANYONE who denies the existence of God is a FOOL. And I am not just talking a kind of fool.....I am saying they are so supremely deluded they are the most deluded human walking on the planet. Why? Because they are God....believing that there is no God!!!! Do you know how deluded that is? It's like denying there is a present moment!!! If you see anyone on this forum denying the existence of God understand that they are a FOOL. 3. Now....this needs to be said.....and is VERY IMPORTANT!!!! Doubt everything I say, doubt everything Leo says, Doubt even your own self and ONLY TRUST DIRECT EXPERIENCE!! The only TRUE KNOWLEDGE you have in your possession is that which you have DIRECTLY VERIFIED. This is the key to not being deluded. If you have not directly verified something then you are IGNORANT BY DEFAULT and can only know it as a human imaginary concept. Human imaginary concept IS NOT TRUTH! So do not lie to yourself, if you haven't experienced something YOU DO NOT KNOW IT!!! Understand....God is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. God only adds to its understanding through EXPERIENCE!! Experience is the ONLY THING THAT IS TRUTH!!! This is the only way you can protect yourself from being lost in Self-Deception. . One thing you will discover if you do enough research is that each part of God experiences Reality differently but this includes God Realization. Yes Pure Consciousness is Nothingness so yes that part is universal, but it is also everything and that everythingness how it chooses to express itself is unique to the individual avatar. So you will ask...how do I know I reached what Leo is talking about? Well first and foremost the most important thing is to understand what was stated above, This video reinforces it. Now Leo had a quote in one of his videos where he said your sense of self will spill out into the surrounding area and everything will feel like you. So what does this mean? When you become aware of what PURE AWARENESS is (which is a feeling) you will become aware....that EVERYTHING is awareness. When this happens everything will feel as YOUR BODY. The wall, the insect, people, leaves, the veil of separation that people refer to....it actually isn't a veil....its subtlety. It was always there....but its so soft....so barely felt that you don't actually feel it. The true purpose of meditating is to make that subtlety NOT SUBTLE. When you do this....your mind will become UNIVERSAL and you will feel like you are IN everything. It really creates a whole new experiential world....and this is where you can start to feel alone...as your experience can change so drastically that nobody you know or listen to has that kind of wacky experience of reality. For example I don't watch cartoons...I AM CARTOONS THAT is how I experience them. I don't play video games...I AM THE VIDEO GAME. I'm not trying to brag here because I realize this is all possible for other humans. With that said....the process can and will probably be MESSY (it was for me) because my body had to CHANGE!!! My brain and neurons were changed and it was not always comfortable. This pursuit actually sent me to the psyche ward a couple of times because my brain started doing weird things. Anyway just know this path is not always straightforward. For example I once temporarily lost the ability to hear it corrected itself after like two minutes but it did scare me and I had to trust everything will pan out. The other scare I had was during the process of my reality becoming aware of its oneness I felt temporarily I had two bodies in one body (that felt extremely uncomfortable) when I would look at someone thankfully it corrected it after a couple of seconds where I was able to feel I was them but also my individual self at the same time. So weirdness can happen. 4. What I disagree with Leo on: Leo has stated his belief that genetics plays a big role in barring people from God Realization. This is where I disagree. God Realization is free for everyone if they TRULY WANT IT!! You have to want it so bad, that everything becomes inconsequential in comparison....even your own life as a human. You really do have to overcome fear of Death to reach God. I know its a tall task, but that is the only thing that TRULY stops you. With that said...yes your genetics do play a role. Some people are really Spiritually Super Human, but what I have learned through my communion with God.....and yes I know it sounds sappy but Love really does conquer all. If you have TRUE LOVE for your pursuit of the Infinite...it will take you and annihilate your conditioned mind. Because it is PURE LOVE, PURE TRUTH, and it loves you more than your human love could ever hope to compare too. It's actually quite funny when you discover TRUE LOVE within you, because it feels familiar like it was there the whole time....because....it was. The gift of true love is behind the passion of every Spiritual Teacher/Sharer. True Love is so beautiful....you realize all you want to do is share it and talk about it for eternity. It's grasp is so strong....you can't escape....which is why it makes sense why God has to hide from itself to create anything....because God is to good to be true....but it is....so it can only be something other if it deludes itself. I hope you discover you are TRUE LOVE!!!

Note: This document is a work-in-progress and will be improved and supplemented over time. ----------------------- So you wanna become enlightened, eh? Good! That's where this journey starts. A burning desire for TRUTH is essential to success in this. Don't let people confuse you with talk of how "desire is bad", "seeking is delusion". No! Seeking is essential to breakthrough. Don't burn your ship before you've crossed the ocean! That would be foolish. Rather than filling your mind with beliefs and ideas about enlightenment, let me give you a bare-bones structure for how to actually make progress towards enlightenment. There are at least 20 totally different ways that I know for how to get enlightened. What I'm going to share with you here is just ONE way out of dozens. It is however a very direct way. This method is highly effective. It may not work for everyone, but then again, no method works for everyone. I call this method self-observation or Leo's version of self-inquiry. "Self-inquiry" as classically taught by Ramana Maharishi is technically different. Anyways... First, let's be very clear what we're talking about when we speak of enlightenment. So... What this basically means is that YOU are deeply confused about who you think you are. Right now you think that you're a human being, sitting there, reading this text on your screen. This is false. Pure fantasy. You are in fact not that thing at all. What we have here is a case of mistaken identity. You think you're a body, but you're not. You think you're a mind, but you're not. You think you're an entity living inside your head, but you're not. You think you are a physical object but you are not! Take a moment to seriously consider the magnitude of my claim. IF I happen to be right, and you happen to be wrong, then what that means is: you are NOT a human being, or even a physical object! Not metaphorically-speaking; not as some philosophical curiosity; but literally! How could such an outrageous thing be possible?????? How could you be mistaken about what you actually are????? Very easily actually! Recall how you've met people in your life who you knew were indoctrinated from birth with silly religious beliefs about Jesus and all sorts of other nonsense. Recall how little children believe that Santa Claus exists because they don't know any better. Recall how terrorists believe they are killing civilians in the name of Allah and will go to heaven with 72 virgins waiting for them. Recall how racists insist they are right for persecuting minorities. Well... here's something you're not gonna like hearing: that same delusion mechanism which existed in them, is operating FULL-FORCE within you right now! Yup! You too have been indoctrinated by ignorant parents and teachers from birth into believing a fairy-tale. Except in this case, the indoctrinated idea was: you are a human being. What a mind fuck! Now, in this work of "self-observation", you will discover -- for yourself -- what you REALLY are. Important: I am not asking you to believe me. You will have to demonstrate empirically, for yourself, that what I say is accurate. You can be skeptical all you want here. It won't upset me. "Okay" you say. "So what am I then if I'm not a human being or a physical object?" Great question! Sorry to tell you this, but your ENTIRE identity and life story is just a giant optical illusion. Like this non-existent triangle: There's nothing really there! Although it sure seems convincing, doesn't it? The problem is that you cannot know what you are rationally or logically because the mind is the source of the confusion. See.... No matter how cleverly or deeply or long you think, all the mind can ever do is symbolize stuff. It can only create maps and models. But you are not a symbol or a map or a model! You are not an idea or a thought! So you have to directly experience what you are. This MAY take months or years of very careful self-investigation. Note: I am saying that you have NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ever experienced yourself before! You've only experienced phenomena, none of which is essentially YOU! So what is this mysterious "essential you"? Let me spoil the surprise because otherwise you will waste YEARS searching in the wrong places, thinking you've found yourself when you really just found another false belief. So... as directly as possible now: the entity who thinks it's reading this sentence does NOT exist! Again, please try to fathom the magnitude of what is being said. This is extremely radical (but nevertheless true). Since you are pure awareness, all your focus goes toward shining "light" on sensory phenomena so it's really hard to "see" yourself. Pure awareness is very subtle, which means you have to develop extraordinary mindfulness abilities to "see" yourself. "But Leo?! You can't be serious! This sounds like a crazy New Age hippy conspiracy!" Let me assure you it's not. I am no hippy. I'm probably more rational and logical than you are. But I do recognize the limits of logic and rationality. The problem here is that you've been so brainwashed by society that what I'm telling you right now sounds crazy. That's okay. Just keep your mind open to the possibility that what I'm claiming can be directly verified by you. Nothing here has to be believed. But you do have to be willing to take it on as a temporary hypothesis to be verified or falsified. Leo's Patented () Step-By-Step Process To Become Enlightened: Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit alone. (You don't need to sit cross-legged.) Turn off your smart phone and disconnect from all distractions Set a digital timer for 60 minutes Now sit silently and start to genuinely wonder: "What am I if I'm not the body?" Do NOT meditate! Sit and carefully observe your direct experience. Notice that direct experience is THE ONLY THING you have of reality. Nothing else is real. Realizing this should make you very "present". Try to locate yourself within direct experience. Be very specific and clear with yourself: What are you? Are you a foot? A hand? A face? A mind? A brain? The envelop of the skin? The picture of yourself in the mind's eye? A feeling in the chest? What? Seriously! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU????????????? Notice that anything you might point to as being "your true self" cannot be true, because that's just another experience arising. Here's the logic of it: Firstly, it isn't constant. It fades in and out throughout the day, so it cannot be you. Secondly, you are observing it, so it cannot be you because "you" are the one doing the observation. So again, WHAT ARE YOU? Open your mind to the possibility that you are mistaken about being a human body or mind. Just sit there and keep genuinely wondering about what you really could be. Try to locate the one who's perceiving things. Do not philosophize or come up with theories. Focus 100% on what your direct experience is telling you. This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL!!!!!!!! The bulk of the work happens right here at this step. You have to slowly become aware that all your thoughts and ideas and feelings about "you" are not really you. They are just symbols and stories. For example: notice that the image of your body that you have in your mind is NOT actually your body! It's just an image! And the same goes for the feelings that make up your body. Those feelings are real, but they are not actually you! As any theories arise of what you think you are, notice that what that is, is a thought! And no thought can be you because you are the one perceiving the thought, and also because your existence does not depend on any particular thought's existence. Notice you don't cease to exist in between thoughts. Just sit and keep doing this for 60 minutes without getting distracted in irrelevant thoughts. As your mind wanders off track (and it will wander a lot) don't beat yourself up. Just bring your focus back on the self-observation. After 60 minutes, stop and notice what happened. Notice if your mind feels "elevated" or more aware. Frustration and confusion are OF COURSE going to arise. Do NOT be discouraged by frustration or confusion. Believe it or not, these are signs of progress. Do not expect instant results. You must be very methodical and patient like a crocodile. Repeat this process every day for at least 60 minutes for the next few months. Be very patient. It will take several months just to start to get your bearings straight. And by that I don't mean you will become enlightened. I mean you merely begin to realize the magnitude of your ignorance. In this time span of 3 months -- let's say -- you will get a strong sense that it really isn't possible to locate yourself. This may seem like you've failed, but actually this is a huge advance. Now you've finally started to realize that you've never really met yourself before. Now the journey towards enlightenment can begin in earnest! Just keep doing the process without discouragement. At some point, your mind will crack and you will surrender to the realization that there's no one home. That life has always run with you. And BAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!! Enlightenment has occurred! Notice, I did not say YOU got enlightened. Rather, enlightenment has occurred. So who got enlightened? No one. Tips For Self-Observation: Don't just do this process mechanically, you MUST be genuinely curious about the truth of what you are. Try to establish a daily habit of self-observation. You need to build consistency and momentum. Be very careful about coming up with theories about what you are. We don't care about theories here. Every theory is NOT it. We only care about direct experience. REPEAT: ALL THEORIES AND IDEAS ARE DISTRACTIONS! Spend time asking yourself who you really believe that you are under the conventional worldview. Are you a body or are you the owner of the body? Are you inside the skull? If so, where exactly? The point of doing this is so you're clear and honest about your present beliefs, even if you intellectually know they are false. It's very important to get clear what exactly your false beliefs are. Do not be vague in your answers to the query of What are you? It's vital that you be precise and specific. Answers such as, "Well, I dunno, I'm just in the skull somewhere." are NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! What EXACTLY are you identifying with? Hint: it will either be a thought, a body sensation, an emotion, a visual perception, or a combination of the above. But all of those cannot be the true you because they are not constant. Create an active sense of doubt that you are a human being or a physical object Any belief, thought, or idea about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. Any sensory experience about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. All scientific theories or models are automatically FALSE! Drop it. All spiritual, New Age, or religious ideas about who you really are, are FALSE! Drop it. You are NOT a visible object or "thing" so stop looking for yourself like you would look for a missing dog. You are NOT located in any area of space, so stop looking for yourself as a point or hidden object somewhere. You are NOT located inside "your" head You are NOT located inside "your" body There is nothing magical to discover in this process. You are not some kind of unicorn or fairytale creature. There is nothing hidden. Everything you see before you is exactly what there is, nothing more, nothing less. It is not possible to find yourself, so this process is futile. But you need to realize that through doing the process. Not by believing me. You will get VERY frustrated during this process and want to quit. Just accept the frustration and keep going. This process will surface deep emotional issues from our subconscious mind. You will experience emotional turmoil and anguish. Just accept it and keep going. You will feel depressed at times. Just accept it and keep going. Your mind will use every excuse in the book to distract you and get you to stop looking. Stay vigilant to all these tricks and keep looking. DO NOT GET TRICKED INTO STOPPING! The truth of what you are is ever-present. It is always HERE and NOW. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to see it. You are you right now! Be prepared for this self-observation process to take several years if necessary. Understand that enlightenment happens always only in the NOW. Never in the future. You can be enlightened RIGHT THIS SECOND! You don't need to wait 3 years. Always intend to become enlightened right now! Enlightenment/Truth is NOT an emotional state. Enlightenment is occurring always, even when you're watching TV or sitting on the toilet. Meditation is NOT enlightenment. A psychedelic high is NOT enlightenment. A powerful energetic experience is NOT enlightenment. A vision or hallucination (however real it may feel) is NOT enlightenment. Enlightenment is what's absolutely true without ever changing. Don't forget the possibility that you may not be a thing! Don't forget the possibility that there might be nothing to find There is no you to become enlightened. When this is realized, that's enlightenment! Hint: it's MUCH simpler than you think. A HUGE HINT: The thing you're looking for but aren't finding... THAT'S YOU!!! Don't expect it to have any attributes. Don't expect the mind to have anything whatsoever to latch onto. You cannot grab NOTHINGNESS by the collar. You can only realize you're already it. Think of it this way: you are looking for a needle in a haystack, but this is no ordinary needle. In this case the needle is literally the realization there was no needle to begin with! A cosmic joke! You've been punked by God (yourself). Best Self-Observation Questions: What am I? No, seriously now... WHAT THE FUCK AM I????? No, cut the shit! What am I -- RIGHT NOW -- in my direct experience???? Who is aware of reality? Who is aware of me? Who is perceiving? Who is the owner of the body? Who is the owner of the mind? Who is feeling pain? Who is asking all these questions? What was I before I was born? What am I when I'm in deep sleep? What could I be if I'm not the human body/mind? What connects and unifies all of my different senses? What is true independent of ever-changing sense experience? What is true independent of my life and my death? Why do I believe I'm the body? Why do I believe I'm the mind? Where to do thoughts arise from? If I'm the body, what is everything else that I'm seeing? Why do I trust my feeling that I'm the body? Is a feeling really evidence of TRUTH? Why must I be an object? What if the "perciever" has no attributes or properties? When I close my eyes, where did the world disappear to? Where is sound occurring? Where are thoughts occurring? Where are body sensations occurring? What is the relationship between physical body sensations and my visual field? What if I don't exist? What if I can't locate myself because I am "empty" or without form or attribute? What if I'm addicted to looking only for objects or perceptions, but my true nature is neither of those? What if I'm just an idea? What if my entire paradigm of physical reality is just an idea? Could my body and brain just be ideas? Is any physical object actually permanent according to direct experience? What distinguishes one object from another? Do boundaries between things really exist, or are they ideas? What would happen if I stopped distinguishing existence from non-existence? How To Tell If You're Enlightened: This is very simple. Answer the following questions honesty: Did a major shift in awareness occur? Are you absolutely clear now of what you are? Are you the physical human body you've always thought you were? Do you feel infinite, without boundaries or location? Do you actually understand, or are you in a temporary meditative high? If you answered: "YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then there's a pretty good chance you're enlightened. If your answers were not: "YES! YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then chances are you aren't enlightened. Keep trying. If in doubt, find an enlightened master to help you verify the depth of your realization. Don't get cocky, remember, there is more than one enlightenment breakthrough to be had. You ain't gonna become Buddha with just a few years of self-observation. Is it worth the struggle? Abso-fucking-luty! Awakening is divine. Videos Explaining Enlightenment In More Depth: https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-intro https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-to-do-next-after-learning-about-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-3 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-1 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-become-enlightened https://www.actualized.org/articles/my-enlightenment-experience https://www.actualized.org/articles/being-a-spiritual-seeker-good-or-bad https://www.actualized.org/articles/radical-openmindedness https://www.actualized.org/articles/mindfulness-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-awareness https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-enlightened-self https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-benefits-of-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-your-mind-distorts-reality https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-guided-inquiry https://www.actualized.org/articles/grasping-the-illusory-nature-of-thought https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-is-god https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-dark-side-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/mystical-traditions-around-the-world https://www.actualized.org/articles/becoming-a-zen-devil List Of Enlightenment Exercises: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7587-list-of-enlightenment-exercises/

One who asks whether God is just another illusion is asking this within the illusory split consciousness. Truth cannot be proven in limitation; it comes when illusion is let go. To do this look through the world you see, to feel a presence that cannot be doubted, because it is what you are. Until then, all ‘realizations’ of nothingness, fullness, emptiness etc. are shadows dancing on a wall. Beyond them is a light that you did not invent and cannot deny. That is the experience of God, and always call to you.

Maybe they mean the regular reality as average human knows it. Reality of separation. Nothingness etc is beyond that

Yes but what I mean is, from the perspective: reality is an illusion that conciousness is creating, then any realization about nothingness, fullness, anything, would be just an image that conciousness creates. It's a weird perspective . Those who say: reality is an illusion, only god is real, how they know that god is not another illusion?

I can tell when my sense of self is still intact. But there have been moments when it has almost been absent. And it feels like you’re approaching a kind of nothingness. But it’s something you can’t really describe because it feels like the end of “something “. Then I wonder if there’s a different reality waiting on the other side of the self. If it would fully dissolve

Until you become Conscious of Nothingness you won't understand.

lol idk i felt kind of dumb. I saved it so i'll post it again Original post: I already know that the natural unfolding of God is imagining "expansion" (including all the change,etc.) for eternity. Everything that has ever came into imagination by it of this world, the universe, other universes, other dimensions, other minds, alien minds, the mind of an ant, human, tree, planet, mailbox in another dimension etc. (you get the point, everything) Really anything thats imagined by the "essence" to "exist" or "be" and all the layers embedded within all of it. I know its all coming from the same thing and human interpretation is whats coloring it in to be understood by a human lens and separating and categorizing things. But if you take it all away, then what are you left with? Void? nothing? possibility? The substrate of a mind that imagines things and realities? But what is the substrate of God? I'm still trying to understand "Why?" Why does it exist? why is there what it is and not other? or is that just being imagined by human mind? Why when i stare at my hands, why is that being imagined there by me? by god? If God is infinity, what is infinity encapsulated by? nothing? the things that are being imagined from it? If you take away all the imagination of god, everything in all forms/dimensions,etc., and you are left with nothing being imagined. what is that thing doing the imagining of all the things? And is that thing being imagined? No matter the content of what it imagines or the structure of how it unfolds, I want to know what that "vessel" or "essence" is . What is doing the imagining? where is "all things ever" spawning from? If you imagine an ever unfolding expansion of all things, including the infinite sea of things i am not aware of, what is doing the imagining and why is it doing it? Like why is the function of god to imagine infinity? Try to imagine the start of all imagination. If there is truly no end and no beginning to the imagination, then wtf is this thing and why is it? Why is the function of God to imagine things to infinity? Try to put yourself in Gods shoes. Where does it originate from? Why is it like that? I cannot get myself past the questions of why and where it comes from. where (where it started, how it started, if it even started at all, etc.) and then the "why". Someones answer might be "love, or for consciousness to become more intelligent, etc." But why? how do you even know that? How do you know youre not just trying to put something into human language to try and define it in a way you understand? If you took away everything and were just left with the void of nothingness, just pure god, not imagining anything. how can that actually be nothing if that same thing is whats spawning and birthing the imagination of everything? Like what is "that thing" thats doing it all? where did it come from, why is it? I hope I don't sound silly, I am genuinely just trying to grasp something that appears to be ungraspable. I'm trying to define it or understand it without diluting it just so I "can" understand it. I don't want my human experience diluting the truth of what it really is just so i can understand it.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #68 Wed July 30, 2025 6:55 AM Samadhi Lowers self: Hey, we need to talk about this voice in my head. What is it exactly? Higher Self: What voice? Lower self: This voice. This voice that I can hear inside of my head that is being heard by me and then being typed onto this screen. What is it? Higher self: I don't hear anything... Lower self: What do you mean? Of course you hear something, we both hear it. It's right here. Open your fucking ears. Higher Self: Nope. Lower self: Okay, whatever. Then I am hallucinating a voice inside of my own head Higher Self: Yep, that is correct. Lower self: What is a hallucination anyways? Higher self: A hallucination is something that is not real, it is completely fabricated and imagined. There is nothing tangible or concrete about it and therefore is no Truth behind it. Lower self: But the voice inside of my head feels so real to me. I can hear it speaking to me. Higher Self: Who is speaking to whom? Lower self: The voice is coming from me and is speaking to me... Ben... The voice is telling me what to do, how to behave, etc .. Higher Self: Why do you listen to this voice? Lower self: I listen to the voice because I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I cannot shut this voice off. Therefore, it just feels like it is a part of who I am. Higher Self: Why can't you shut it off? Lower self: I'm not sure. But I virtually have no control over it. I am at the mercy of this voice and therefore cannot get any peace and quiet. I just want this voice to shut the fuck up. Higher Self: You can shut it off actually. This is what a samdhi experience is like. All of your attention is pointed towards one thing. This eclipses everything else around it and you dissolve into the experience of that one thing that you are focusing on. In this state, there is no mind, no thoughts, no emotions, just pure experience, pure nothingness, pure samadhi. Lower self: Wowwwww, that sounds amazing. Higher Self: It is amazing, now get to work...

Is simply being, fundamentally comparable with silence, or nothingness, or not-knowingness? Like the true being before it’s artificially distorted by a thought, or an idea, or a concept?

@samijiben I understand the giving aspect. I have done it before, and it is a wonderful thing. However, if I approach it with the mindset of getting something out of it, I will fumble, and fumble hard. I'll want to avoid that to the best of my abilities as such a way of existence sucks. However, there are forms I want to give in and have simply been slacking on as of late. If I invest into these, things will naturally start to click as long as I'm consistent and stay tuned in. As for nothingness and your more advanced points, I'm aware and familiar of them, however, I'm at a stage where I don't feel like embracing them. Not yet. I was more spiritual when I was younger but neglected more egoic and human parts of myself that have needed to live. I face the consequences of that now, and seek to live, even in the face of my own ignorance so that I may be free of regret later.

In contrast to your poem, some logical description, let's see if you see it Absolute openness is not a thing, nor an entity, nor a form. It cannot be defined positively without betraying its nature, because every affirmation creates a limit, and absolute openness is precisely the absence of all limits. It is not a substance, nor a void, nor a being, nor a consciousness. It is nothing that can be conceived in opposition to anything else. It is not “nothing,” because nothingness is the negation of something, and this already establishes a conceptual border. Nor is it “something,” because something is differentiated from other things, and all differentiation implies relation and limitation. It is not emptiness, because emptiness only has meaning in contrast to fullness, and that duality is impossible at the level of the absolute. But it's the absence of lack, because the openess is absolute potential. Maybe you could call it God, but not because it's a creator, but because is the source of any possibility

In my opinion, he's approaching the issue backwards. He says: Infinity can only create logical things; anything illogical cannot exist. Rather, it would be: everything that manifests is relative, that is, relational. Every relation is logical, since they are two equivalent words. And that's it, there's no need of more. When he speaks of nothingness, it's the same. Nothingness is the absence of contrast or movement. Nothingness is ontologically the same as everything; nothingness is unmanifested reality, the absence of relationship, and "somethingness" is manifested reality, contrast. Since there are no limits, at some point there will be contrast, fluctuation, or relative movement. That moment is always, and its unfolding is unlimited.

OK I see . My point once again I can't conceive of the end of suffering as long as forms and limitations and lack and need exist In this world . If death is pure fucking eternal sleep then unfortunately that's the only way to escape suffering permanently. And unfortunately death is just like sleeping you take a pause to refresh and then start all over again =reincarnation. But buddhism actually teaches Nirvana or permanent nothingness if you conquer desire .

I can kinda confirm this. Because I’ve been in almost selfless states and it’s truly like there’s almost no center I resonate with this but why isn’t reality nothingness when there’s no center. Isn’t limitlessness nothingness?

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve I see, I thought getting your self dissolved to some degree would bring liberation, not hollowness and lack of richness. But maybe that depends on the person and their persona prior to it, dont know though. Could be something about development.

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve Thats amazing you found a reason! Yes it could be worse after death so better stay here so long we can somehow handle it

Below, I will post that which is considered archetypally Feminine and Masculine (respectively) to understand these polarities from a symbolic and energetic lens (which is very different from societal gender norms, which are often arbitrary... like women wearing pink, etc.) Keep in mind, this relates indirectly to human gender in general as the Masculine and Feminine are found interplaying in all living and non-living systems. But you will notice that men (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Masculine Principled qualities and that women (as a whole group) have a slight lean towards the Feminine Principled qualities. But keep in mind that these arcetypes/qualities were called Masculine and Feminine because of men and women's slight leans towards one energy or the other... but these qualities are only somewhat correlated to human gender expression. So, these polarities superseded yet inform human gender expressions. Here's the list (Feminine first/Masculine second) Being vs Doing Tangible vs Intangible Earthly vs Spiritual Physical vs Non-Physical Grounded vs Lofty Wisdom vs Truth Cycles vs Progressions Imperfection vs Perfection Contraction vs Expansion Emotions vs Thoughts Intuition vs Logic Chaos vs Order Organic vs Geometric The Unconscious Mind vs The Conscious Mind Relationship vs Singularity The Everthingness Facet of Infinity vs The Nothingness Facet of Infinity Sovereignty vs Leadership Internal Knowing vs External Knowledge Mystery vs Clarity Ordinariness vs Extraordinariness Mortality vs Immortality The Body vs The Mind Receptivity vs Radiation Receiving vs Giving Surrender vs Overcoming Inherent Worthiness vs Earning Collective vs Individual Connection vs Disconnection Intuitive Operation vs Algorithmic Operation Internal vs External The Fall and Winter vs The Spring and Summer The Moon vs The Sun The Roots vs The Branches/Fruit Limitation vs Unlimitedness

There ain't transcending pain as long as you live in this body made of bones and flesh which gets super hungry and thirsty and sleepy every 12 hours . When you die and (probably) play chess with God in his house called nothingness then there will be no pain. Buddhists call this nirvana . But you have to stop the reincarnation cycle by not giving a dam about anything under the sun aka detachment.

Consciousness (as fundamental) → manifests or dreams reality → creates spacetime, laws of physics, energy → Big Bang as a projection within consciousness → evolution of complexity → appearance of individual minds → mind retroactively interprets its current state as arising from a past material process → human consciousness (Infinite Mind) Nothingness (Materialistic kind) → spontaneous quantum fluctuation or unknown cause → Big Bang → formation of matter and energy → particles clashing and organizing → cosmic and planetary evolution → biological evolution → emergence of nervous systems → first human consciousness (Infinite Mind) → subjective experience and self-reflection (mind/consciousness) I don’t understand why the first initial mental Human consciousness would have to be equivalent to the same (Original Creator). Again, I can still imagine human consciousness being spawned separately from the beginning of nothingness and evolution, and once it spawns, sure, it may have infinite qualities and the ability to expand, observe, imagine, and understand, but I don’t see how that implies it’s the original creator. That’s the step I feel like I’m missing. Even if I accept that the fundamental properties of reality are 'mental' or metaphysical in nature, that could still refer to a mind separate from my own (i.e., human consciousness). It doesn't necessarily imply that the two are the same in any way. Just because the mind is infinite after being spawned doesn't imply the creator is infinite or even the same as the current consciousness. As I mentioned above, the requisite variety argument doesn't apply, since we do observe more complex things being created by less complex ones, like the example of a child genius being born from average parents. Also, infinity here works mostly as a concept. It's not like you experience infinite thoughts; you have distinct thoughts. You can only conceptualize that others could happen in infinite ways. But that’s just an insight; again, it doesn’t strictly imply a conscious creator or beginning. And the argument that “it’s all one” doesn’t feel satisfying to my brain, because we’re always trying to get to the source or root-cause property when we ask these questions. Even with the concept of God, we’re pointing to a characteristic of that “original creator.” So even if you say 'it's all one,' you'd still want to distinguish the root cause and the properties of that root cause, even if it implies all-encompassing unity.

Keep going, please. As of now, approximately 14,000 posts less than you in the relative same time period. Hmmm. That your mind needs to twist words and facts to make up lies about what was shared in reply to and with respect to your ‘life lived in relation’ says volumes. Yes, toxicity sounds about right. About 10-20% of the other words must have hit a soft spot, and your mind has been on a witch hunt since then... apparently. Yes, being that I only have 1-2 times a day to post, and that I'm usually amped on a STRONG cup of coffee doing it, it's likely that some of my longer convoluted posts are just stream-of-consciousness style. Apologies. Not that you even read them or ask questions for clarifying our differences in perception.... just trigger off disagreement and specific words, make assumptions, and build the consistent antagonistic ad hominem pattern that's in progress. Quite telling. If anyone remembered “Nothing” or recognized authentic “Nothingness” in reading anything I’ve shared, I’d be super-happy and hug/laugh with them!! More projection and games exemplifies a mind’s agenda. Is the split mind conscious of them? Bring on the carefully tailored Drama Triangle of victim (you and other board members), perpetrator (kbone), and savior (you) to sort it all out. Continue lashing out as/into Nothingness, exposing the illusions that bind. Are you aware of the tar baby argument in progress? I am. I'm hanging out, with at least one foot in the field beyond right/wrong (duality).... with Rumi Baba, whirling away.....

Oh, yeah, I was thinking about that too. Deep sleep = nothingness It is not an assumption, because I can witness newness right now. It is amazing, but terrifying too and not fully accepted by the world, far from it

It makes sense to go into nothingness. But then again, here in the eternal moment, right now, there is something going on and it comes out of nothing I will go Chances are high that something new will spring forth