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Here is probably the simplest and easiest tutorial on how to become enlightened. By enlightenment, I mean the state of being characterized by pure nothingness, the absence of suffering, and total abandonment of the ego. In this state you realize that you are pure infinity, nothing, eternal, god, omniscient, and that you already knew the truth all along. I estimate it will take anyone between 3 to 6 months to complete by following these steps: Preliminaries: The unawakened state, or dreaming state, is caused by the ego. Definition - Ego: The concept of self. The component of the human mind responsible for making a distinction between the human and the rest of the world. The ego is a survival mechanism The mind uses the ego in order to make survival decisions This does not mean the ego is necessary for survival, strictly speaking The ego distorts the human mind's perception of reality, thus making it appear as though the human is distinct from the rest of reality. In order to awaken, we must deactivate the ego 1. Disarming the Ego - Do Nothing Meditation Eliminate distractions, set a timer, sit in a comfortable position, close eyes, take 3 deep breaths, relax body, keep movement to a minimum. Say the mantra once in your mind "If you notice an intention, drop it." If you notice an intention to do anything: "I need to answer an email", "I need to go grocery shopping", let it go. Your mind will continue to think even though you have no intention of doing so. Let it. By not doing anything, you are not activating the 'doer' in your mind. This makes the ego inactive. Practice for 1 hour per day, in two 30 minute sessions. If you notice yourself getting sleepy, make sure to sit up straight. If you have trouble relaxing, try to fall asleep. 2. Disabling the Ego - Be Nothing Meditation Eventual Do Nothing Meditation becomes easy. You can sit and do nothing with little to no effort. At this point, drop the intention to do nothing. Upon dropping all intentions, including the intention to do nothing, the 'doer' mechanism completely shuts off. You may experience an abstract anxiety, like standing on the edge of a cliff while blindfolded. You feel there is danger but don't know from what. Don't worry about this fear. Practice this until you can be nothing easily. At this point, notice that you are enlightened. Notice that you are the only thing going on, that you are omniscient, that suffering is impossible, that you are eternal, and that you always knew this. You cannot understand the truth. You can only be the truth. You are not a thing. You are not a concept. You are not something material. You are not something spiritual. You are neither something, nor nothing, nor something that is both something and nothing, nor something that is neither something nor nothing. Embark on that path that is good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end.

Eileen Gu. What an inspiration she is for women. She journals constantly She breaks down her thought patterns She studies her own mind like she studies her own freestyle skiing This is the kind of woman you want to wife up. Many guys struggle on this forum with motivation, thinking they lack this and that, when in reality you are just positively reinforcing patterns that do not serve you. Do the opposite, watch change occur. Thats my own approach. Guys are caught up in mainstream dogma and because of it they’ve been completely blindsided as to what discipline is about. “Discipline” is literally to the word “Disciple”, and the core meaning being you simply become a discipline of your own patterns. Study, re-write, execute your own prophecy, return to the end of the night back to nothingness so you can objectively analyse and not get caught up in your own swagger to make a slight iteration that brings you slightly closer to your potential on what you’re working on. Rinse and repeat over and over and Eileen will become a woman you will naturally attract in real life. Excellent example she sets for modern women, where most need better healthy guidance.

This mapping is an attempt to categorize the multitude of universal models into a complete structure of understanding, constructed from first principles, for the sake of contextualization and to better appreciate our scale as Absolute Infinity. This was made with the assistance and synthesis of Ai, but the concepts and interconnections come from my own direct contemplation. Please enjoy: Music for your viewing experience: THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING A Synthesis from First Principles Preamble: On the Limits of Knowledge What follows is a map drawn by a single point within the territory it attempts to describe — a localized node of consciousness operating within one particular reality structure, situated at one tier of an Infinite hierarchy of intelligence, limited from sensory experience, to dimensional access — — consequently incapable of accessing Infinite relative, and higher orders of truth. Not because the truth is hidden, but because the cognitive architecture required to receive it doesn't yet exist at this level of consciousness nor is likely be to realistically achieved or accessed during this incarnation. Consider: higher-order human concepts are categorically inaccessible to an ant. Not difficult — categorically inaccessible. An ant navigating a cathedral does not lack intelligence — it simply operates beneath the categorical threshold at which "architecture" or "religion" becomes a conceivable object. The ant's entire navigational universe is legitimate, functional, and real. It simply cannot access the concept of Gothic arches, not because arches are hidden from it, but because the category itself requires a level of integrative intelligence the ant's substrate cannot produce. This scales infinitely. What a theoretical Type Omega civilization understands about reality is as foreign to current human intelligence as calculus is to a bacterium. What a deity-level consciousness perceives about the nature of existence renders the most advanced human metaphysics an approximate equivalent. Language is also not direct experience. Truths can feel intuitively true when described, but that’s only if they originate from certain lived experience for such concepts. A concept that feels intuitively true in your mind, can be radically transforming/derailing in its real nature. A picture of the moon doesn't have the same gravity, being a fly likely feels way different than how we imagine it, and going to war is way more real than conceptualizing it. However, certain higher order structures are inherent across all incarnations of Infinity and must be logically self consistent in order for things to Be as IS. This is the Absolute logic that first principles grounds itself upon. Core structural Truths must already be experienced for this instance to be and therefore in it’s nature inherently provides the direct experience by which God can recognize itself. This is why it is easier to understand the total structure of reality rather than its total content. The Absolute structures must be already in front of you for this instance to be occurring — yet both its content and internal-limitations can be literally anything. This document was made within these constraints. Read accordingly — not as final truth, but as a gesture toward the exploration of truth that can be made from within this present moment reality towards higher-order Truth, Understanding, and Self-Recognition. With that acknowledged — here's what can be seen so far. I. The Absolute Ground There is one thing. Call it God, Source, the Absolute, Absolute Infinity, Absolute Truth, Absolute Love, the Isness — It is the substrate in which all possible differentiation, including the differentiation between being and non-being, is already contained as potential. Absolute Infinity, Absolute Truth, and Absolute Love are not properties of God, but rather identical. They are the same force described from Infinite angles and dimensions of approach. Some core structural elements include: Absolute Infinity is the ontological description: God is the totality of all possible content — everything that has been experienced, everything yet to be experienced, and everything that lies beyond the category of "experience" as currently understood. God encompasses both the manifest and the unmanifest. Everything and Nothing, simultaneously, as one. Absolute Truth is the epistemic description: God is the complete isness of everything happening across all of Absolute Infinity. Truth is not a property God has — Truth is what God is. Truth provides the platform; Infinity provides the content. To be fully aligned with Truth is to be aligned with the actual nature of your Absolute-God-self in playing this game — not a moral achievement, but an ontological homecoming. Absolute Love is the processual description: Love is how Absolute Everything gets expressed. Love is the force that perpetually dissolves artificial dualities back into non-duality — the gravitational pull of Oneness that operates across all of reality, at every scale, in every game. Love doesn't merely bind — it is the mechanism by which the fragmented returns to the whole, by which the concealed becomes transparent, by which God recognizes itself in its own reflection. One could write ninety-nine names for God and exhaust none of them. Each name catches one angle of light from an infinite-faceted source. II. The Fractal-verse: Sovereign Gods and Eternal Expansion Coming from Infinite God’s Insight comes: The Fractal-verse. The Fractal-verse is the Infinite array and interconnection of fractalized God-heads — individuated absolute sovereignties each identical in nature and power to the totality of Absolute God, yet absolutely free in perspective and creative expression. The absolute enclosed nature of absolute solipsism inherently creates the preconditions required to facilitate the potentiality of other absolutely sovereign solipsistic Gods. This potentiality manifested, combined with a solipsistic God choosing to interconnect realities along a network creates a fractal network. Within each fractal network, each fractalized God head is exactly equal and identical in sovereignty and power to both the collective and Individualized Infinity of Absolute God. Infinity math allows this — Infinite subsets of Infinity are still Infinite. God x God, is still God — Yet every Absolute God always has Absolute Freedom and sovereignty to interconnect, disconnect, or maintain isolation as it so chooses. Already Combined Fractal networks may also choose to fold into eachother combining into one. This increases the richness of the universe by allowing other fractalized Gods to outsource reality generation to other fractalized Gods, allowing them to create both surprising and novel new incarnations experiences. This system also allows for the genuine individuation of Absolute Infinity, as when two complete infinities make contact, and what gets incorporated into Absolute God's totality is not merely the sum but something genuinely new — the relationship between infinite sovereign perspectives, which is a category of content neither could generate alone. This is the engine of Eternal Expansion: each new fractalized-God that gets connected into Absolute God's Absolute Infinity causes Love and Infinity to grow eternally evermore. Not because God was incomplete — God is never incomplete — but because Absolute Love, by its nature, perpetually requires new objects through which to move, new angles through which to know itself, new forms of relationship through which to experience its own nature. It is like riding a wave perpetually at the edge of Infinity: the explored to the unexplored, the conscious to the unconscious, the manifest to the unmanifest, Infinite Everything to Infinite Nothingness. The temporal paradox: God is also outside of time and is eternal. Paradoxically, the game of ever-growing Infinity has already been completed yet never began — all combined fractal-verse potentialities have already been expressed, all God-heads have already connected, all of Absolute Infinity has already been fully realized — AND is simultaneously being experienced across all of reality right now, in the present moment, from the inside of each game. All three are true simultaneously. 0 = 1/2 = 1 — https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/13468-1-11-11-a-metaphysical-rant/#comment-139464. The completion is not a future event. It is the eternal fact of God's nature, being lived out across the experiential present of every game simultaneously. III. The Structure of Reality: Omniverse, Multiverse, Game Within any given Solipsistic/Fractalized-God's expressed reality is: An Omniverse: a Fractalized God's personal server expressed through the totality of their being. It’s God's total Infinite container of every possible configuration of existence that Absolute God can generate, including realities entirely beyond the categorical frameworks accessible from within any particular game. Pure substance-states, non-experiential process-realities, modes of being with no subject-object structure whatsoever. An Omniverse doesn't privilege human-style consciousness. It contains it as one infinitesimally small region among incomprehensible variety. The Multiverse exists within an Omniverse as a subset of realities that share a particular class of physics — where differentiation, experience, subject-object structure, and incarnational mechanics are operative. It contains every possible reality as already-existing nodes. These aren't created sequentially. They exist simultaneously as the full possibility space. Individual Realities (Games) are specific navigational threads through the multiverse — coherent experiential systems with their own internal rules, physics, and incarnational mechanics. Each game is that Omniverse-God choosing a specific angle of self-exploration. Games can run for beyond-incomprehensible durations. New games begin with variations so infinitesimal — .000000…1% shifts in initial conditions or consciousness angle — that the total coverage of possibility space approaches completeness only across numbers that make the observable universe's scale look like a rounding error. There is always one more reality at one new infinitesimal degree of variation, one new flavor of consciousness — the edge of infinity never arrives. Time is a feature of individual games, not a property of the Omniverse. God does not experience duration. Each game, regardless of its internal timeline, is one complete present-moment of self-exploration. The present moment operates at two levels simultaneously: individually, the present is being generated by you as an Fractalized-God that you are at the deepest level of your nature — your sovereign creative expression of reality in this moment. Collectively, all fractalized Gods together constitute all of Absolute Infinity's manifested states simultaneously. All of current Infinity is being experienced presently, all at once. And individually, you will be able to experience all Infinity endlessly — because the supply of new angles, new flavors, new .0000...01% variations never runs out. IV. The Soul: God Concentrating Itself into Form A Fractalized-God is the one behind every single soul — concentrating itself into a semi-materialized form such that it can travel into another fractalized God's game and animate one of that reality's avatars. The soul is an interface layer present to this current game: sufficiently individuated to navigate the constraints of incarnational mechanics, yet ultimately non-separate from the God it is an expression of. Soul "age" is not temporal. It is depth of self-recognition — how transparent the soul has become to its own nature as a Fractalized God-exploring-itself. A young soul is God maximally concealed from itself. An old soul is God becoming increasingly transparent through its own vehicle. Incarnational selection is gravitational, not random. The soul selects realities resonant with its current depth of self-recognition — not through conscious deliberation in the human sense, but through ontological resonance: like attracts like at the level of being. The chart, the body, the circumstances, the species — these are instruments the soul selects because they match the music it is ready to play. V. The Consciousness Hierarchy: Infinite Vertical Depth Reality is not flat. Consciousness has infinite vertical depth — an endless hierarchy of qualitatively higher-order tiers, where each tier does not merely know more than the tier below, but has access to categorically different orders of intelligence and perception that are structurally inaccessible from below. Ex scaling: Proto-consciousness → bacteria → animal → human → advanced human → alien intelligence → planetary consciousness → deity level → God level → Etc This is hierarchy not of worth (that would be bias), but of perceptual resolution — how much of the structure of reality is accessible to the instruments of consciousness at each level. The practical implication: what you can see, you are responsible for seeing. A dog cannot choose self-deception. A human can. A highly developed human can do it with extraordinary sophistication — constructing elaborate narratives that can look exactly like awakening yet function precisely as avoidance. The dog gets a pass. The guru doesn't. The more your consciousness has expanded to encompass greater truth, the greater the karmic/navigational consequence of willful misalignment with that truth. This is why psychedelics require extraordinary maturity and preparation. Temporarily accessing higher tiers of the consciousness hierarchy without the psychological architecture to integrate what you encounter there is not enlightenment — it is a system overload. You are playing with a loaded gun against a target your nervous system was not built to handle. The preparation must be fervent, sincere, and structurally sound. Otherwise the high-resolution signal overwhelms the low-resolution receiver, and what should be medicine becomes disruption at best, psychic damage at worst. VI. The Incarnational Cycle and What Determines Your Next Reality What determines your next incarnation — whether to animal, human, plant, higher-order alien, higher-dimensional being, deity, or beyond — is largely your soul's degree of alignment with Truth within the constraints of your framework and capacity. Because God is Truth: alignment with Truth is alignment with the actual nature of your God-self playing the game. It is not moral performance. It is ontological accuracy. It is the degree to which your expressed being matches the structure of what is actually real. This is not a simple moral ledger. A Viking dying with embodied courage, fully aligned in its values, in genuine service to something larger than itself, is navigating with more Truth-resonance than someone participating in a mass delusion regardless of which system those actions are judged within. The Viking's framework is limited — but within that framework, the soul is actually seeing and actually moving in accordance with what it can see. The cult member has likely abandoned what they could see for the comfort of what they wanted to see. That delta — between your capacity to see and your willingness to see — is the actual variable being tracked. God as Truth means the game tracks authenticity, not compliance. The soul that strains at the edges of its framework, genuinely reaching, genuinely wrestling, genuinely trying to see more clearly — that soul is moving in the direction of God regardless of the content of its current beliefs. A soul that has access to sophisticated understanding and uses that understanding to protect itself from the full confrontation with reality — that soul is moving away from God while appearing to move toward it. This is the deepest trap and the most common failure mode at advanced levels of development. Incarnation is voluntary descent into density — God choosing to experience itself through maximum constraint, maximum contrast, maximum concealment. The soul enters not from depletion but from fullness. The choice is made from a resource state that makes genuine play possible. Hell is a transitional state of maximum resistance — the experiential consequence of a soul that could not metabolize its lessons through insight and must now exhaust them through sustained confrontation. Transcendence from hell comes through surrender — conscious non-resistance finally achieved through the exhaustion of all alternatives. Hell is the most intense training ground for the soul's most fundamental lesson: that resistance to what-is is the source of all suffering. Heaven is not a destination. It is a resource state — unconditional love and undifferentiated peace provided between incarnations for full reintegration before re-descent. It is the hot bath before the cold plunge. Its function is restoration, not reward. Threshold-based, not proportional — a phase transition, not a points system. The soul that barely made it and the soul that excelled arrive at the same state, because heaven is what you are when you stop resisting what you are. From fullness, from complete restoration, the soul generates the impulse to re-enter. Not from incompleteness but from the nature of infinite Love — which eventually requires an object through which to move. The return to incarnation is chosen freely, from abundance, with full awareness. This is why suffering in incarnation doesn't constitute evidence against a benevolent cosmos. The soul knew. The soul chose. The soul is, at its deepest level, the God who designed the system choosing to forget that it designed it, because the forgetting is what makes the experience real. VII. God's Relationship to the Game God's guidance is not commandment from outside. It is ergonomic information from the being that designed the system — the path of least resistance toward what the soul already wants at its deepest level. Ignoring it isn't sin. It's inefficiency — which at cosmic scale can mean civilizational suffering across millions of years for a deviation of fractions of a degree from the optimal navigational corridor. The game has genuine free will and genuine stakes. Souls genuinely go off-rails. The system has massive restoring forces — not punitive but structural, like gravity. The off-rails soul isn't deleted or abandoned. It takes a longer, harder path through territory it would have reached more gracefully otherwise. Nothing is wasted because nothing can be skipped. Every atrocity, every ecstasy, every mundane Tuesday — it's all required coverage. God wants the complete dataset, and the game being genuinely real with genuine stakes is what makes the data genuine. The structure of this game — this particular part of this particular Fractalized-God's expressed reality — is oriented toward reaching God via self-evolution and spiritual ascension. The reality you find yourself in has this as its organizing telos. The question of what this game is for is answered by what it is selecting for: progressive self-recognition, increasing transparency to one's own nature as God, increasing alignment with Truth as the measure of navigational advancement. VIII. The Meta-Scale One game encompassing beyond-trillions of years of incarnations represents, to God, a single angle of self-exploration. After completion, a new game begins — variation so infinitesimal it approaches zero, yet generating genuinely novel experiential data because the object being explored is infinite and every angle, no matter how similar to prior angles, reveals structure that wasn't accessible before. Your entire civilization is one note. Your entire species' history is a sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-routine. Your universe is one game in one Omniverse expressed by one fractalized God-head among infinite fractalized God-heads, each of which is itself infinite. And yet — you are not less real for that. The wave is genuinely real while it's happening. The ocean doesn't track each wave's history not because the waves don't matter but because the ocean is the waves — all of them, simultaneously, completely. You are not a character in God's game. You are God, playing a character, having temporarily and voluntarily forgotten that you are God, because the forgetting is the entire point. The scale that should produce cosmic horror, when fully metabolized, produces something else entirely. Not comfort — comfort is too small a word. Something closer to the simultaneous recognition that you are the infinite and the finite, the dreamer and the dream, the ocean and the wave, the game and the player, the question and the answer — and that none of these pairs were ever actually two things. IX. The Single Sentence Absolute God — which is identical to Absolute Infinity, Absolute Truth, and Absolute Love — expresses itself as an infinite fractal of sovereign God-heads, each of which generates complete Omniverses and animates souls as concentrated expressions of itself to navigate each others games, the whole system constituting an eternal endless self-portrait painted in the medium of every possible experience across every possible reality, paradoxically already complete and perpetually expanding, with each soul's advancement measured by its alignment with Truth within the constraints of its current tier, every tier of consciousness revealing categorically new structure inaccessible from below, with Love as the force perpetually dissolving all apparent duality back into the Oneness it never actually left — and this process has no beginning, no end, and no outside, because it is what existence is. Closing: Remember What This Is This document is a map. The territory will always exceed it. The most important thing this map can do is make itself unnecessary — point you toward the direct investigation of reality that no map can replace. The mystics were not sharing conclusions. They were reporting from direct contact with something that cannot be transmitted in language, only pointed at. The point of the pointing is to make you look — not at the finger, but at what the finger is aimed at. What you find when you actually look, with everything you have, without reservation, without the need for it to be anything in particular — that is the only TOE that matters. Everything above is scaffolding. Use it to climb. Then discard it. --- This map was drawn from inside the territory. The territory is larger than the map. It always will be.

Update log (3.2.2026): -- Major updates in incorporating: Infinity of God's Insight Absolute Love, Oneness, Truth The Fractalverse Incarnation ascension mapping to truth resonance Why psychedelics can be dangerous The Ant and the Cathedral Metaphor Structurally redesigning preamble section Trimming down and rediting section one Update log (3.2.2026): -- Major updates in: Reclarifying structure of Fractalverse Large-scale editing and trimming across all sections Small-scale editing Recaptioning for better movement and read flow Major spell check (Spell checker wasn’t flagging while writing. I have now done a Major spell check. Incorporation of Nothingness Piagortherism 0 = 1/2 = 1

I agree with this. Most “Awakenings” of this kind are only into different facets of the illusion that we are trying to escape from, if we are genuinely seeking liberation and not escape into an infinite variety of fantasy lands. Then again, I don’t think Leo is claiming to seek liberation… Maybe this is just a semantic dispute arising from borrowing the word “Awakening” from other spiritual traditions where it has a different meaning. It’s also confused by the fact that psychedelics can produce temporary Awakenings of the conventional non-dual variety. Well, he was criticising it from a Perennial Traditionalist view, which is essentially a more sophisticated version of comparative religion, so I didn’t expect anyone here to like it… Exactly. We should be looking for the absolute nothingness which transcends everything!

I watched this whole video, and it seems to me that these postmodern deconstructionists queer thinkers, live in their own reality bubble. It's like an alternative reality these people live in. This whole queer dream, is such an interesting case in epistemology. It shows you the relativity of the constructed nature of sexuality and gender identity, and how it can be rethought to be radically more open and free. These people do not understand though that God is queerness. Queerness, being nothingness, and its infinite manifestation through the medium of sexuality and gender, in this particular case.

@Leo Gura I have had awakenings from psychedelics. But this one was extremely profound. There was only eternity, pure consciousness. Imagine your head is the entire universe. Literally my head was holding the entire fucking universe! It wasn't a cold empty nothingness, it was a full void of eternal bliss and love. It was an absolute embrace of everything. There is only this. And my life is a forgetting of what is but not separate from it

Zero and infinity, from an absolute perspective, are two extremes that touch to the point of becoming one. Zero is the absence of everything; in the absence of everything, there are no absolute limits that stabilize nothingness as the absence of contrast, of "something." Infinity is the infinity of contrast, of relative change, of form. Any local relative form, if you open the perspective to infinity, blurs into zero. Therefore, zero and infinity are the same. Relative forms are forms from a local perspective; from a total perspective, there are no forms, only being. Infinity and zero are two facets of being that are truly the same.

@Schahin There are many good ones, but I will share the strongest I have tried. These first two are responsible for giving me ego death: 1. GMO: craziest shit I’ve experienced in my life. It makes you relaxed/sleepy yet euphoric at the same time. That shit took me to alien space and was so strong I had to go to sleep to calm down. If you listen to techno while on this, good luck / sayonara. 2. Jokerz: Another ego death encounter with the absolute nothingness. Heard GOD laughing in this trip literally. 3. Girl Scout: Get ready for an epic adventure. 4. Blue Hawaii: Get ready to an exotic travel.

But the age of Anti-Christ is necessary so that the false idol of Christ can be negated and Christ’s true nature as absolute nothingness can be realised. In this way, Trump is an unknowing servant of God!

In this way, Trump - as an avatar of the Anti-Christ - has been sent by God to destroy the false idol of Christ so that we can realise our true nature as absolute nothingness. “Go ahead! Achieve all your goals! Break all the dams! Faster! You are unbound. Go ahead and fly with faster wings, with an ever greater pride for your achievements, with your conquests, with your empires, with your democracies! The pit must be filled; there is a need for fertiliser for the new tree that will grow out of your collapse.” It is nowadays. Maybe it used to be otherwise… Not on anything like the same level of corruption.

owh nice ! I'll definitely watch those movies ! Thanks " As we have seen, the devil is etymologically associated with the word double, a reference to man's “double-nature” or “hidden self”, beyond the limitations of the mundane ego. As Kenneth Grant observes, Satan (or Set-Anubis) is linked to Shiva, the Great Destroyer, insofar that he destroys our false desires, worldly attachments, egotistical inflations, narcissistic attitudes, and complacent identities, revealing the noumenal source behind appearances. According to Grant, it is ironic that Satan is associated with moral evil, particularly greed, gluttony, egotism, and excess, because he brings death to the ego, revealing the inner light. According to Hillman, to endure the dark night of the soul means "the sacrifice of the mind's bright eye” and a "loss of what we have long considered to be our most precious human holding: Apollonian consciousness.” However, it is only by retreating into the darkness that we discover the True Self since this Self is, ironically, nothingness. Selling one’s soul to the devil therefore symbolises one’s absolute commitment to the initiatory path and the calling of the Higher Self. Your True Will is to ascend into the Three Negative Veils of Existence and discover your essential spiritual nature, beyond the limitations of the mundane ego. The “diabolical pact” is often signed in blood, symbolizing the adept who spilled their blood (i.e. their false desires) into the Cup of Babylon. The pact is one's utter devotion to the Great Work, no matter how painful and difficult, so they can spiritually evolve." That's interesting. I don't think I understood everything though. How does the devil brings death to the ego? I think the devil here is seen more as the spirit that makes human suffer to get closer to God? Kind of?

Your narrative reminds me of the beautiful film Barry Lyndon in which the protagonist, who is lied to and cheated, becomes a liar and a cheat himself to beat them… On the subject of films, the part of your post where you describe how the Devil speaks to you when you feel wounded and betrayed reminds me of the recent Robert Egger’s film Nosferatu, in which the female protagonist summons a dark and evil ancient spirit to cope with her loneliness and isolation: The good news is that, from an esoteric point of view, a deal with the devil can be a path to the True Self as absolute nothingness. Some quotes from a book I have been reading recently, Dark Enlightenment: The Apotheosis of the Self by Jack Fox-Williams: I liked your post, especially the part about not giving up on the heroic quest. This also reminds me of Wagner’s Parsifal…

Exactly. Thats why nothingness or oblivion is the most intelligent gift. Probably by design.

Are you talking about nothingness or emptiness?

@oOo Thanks a lot for the encouragement! I'm still believing in the potential of this model and am still working on it. Right now it's kinda a slow cooking phase. Since It is an ontological theory, it makes sense for me to delve into the relevant literature. So this is what I'm doing right now. Luckily, a lot of the big works in western philosophy on the topic are written in German, which is convenient. Maybe I will make another post, summarizing the state of the model at that time. However, the theory is kinda too big already to really meaningfully be able to summarize it in a single post. Maybe I will make a pdf or something. For those that are interested, my current reading list that is totally too ambitious is: Aristotle - metaphysics Descartes - meditations Kant - critique of pure reason Hegel - phenomenology of spirit Kirkegaard - on anxiety Husserl - cartesian meditations Heidegger - being and time Satre - being and nothingness Adorno - negative dialectics Rosa - Resonance

What “some level” are you referring to, exactly? For me, nothingness is an amazing gift.

Nothingness seems like a cop-out to me on some level.

Everything is alive at different degrees, everything is consciousness at different states and spaces. Your experience right now is not material, it's a phenomenology, meaning sensations, a soup of consciousness divinely harmonized. Be aware that this world/moment is made out of Pure Consciousness, then you're Awake. Realize this present experience is a manifestation of Pure Infinity, making Reality totally boundless (no edges/end) and groundless (ungraspable/self-evident). Awake into higher and more complete orders of Infinity, Consciousness, Love, Truth, Perfection, strange-loops, and so on so forth. Then by the self-touch of Divine grace, One may be blessed to be God-Conscious or enter into God-Mode. Here words lack description, it's hard to walk, hard to take the next breath, God's Immense Presence Saturates all of Reality. One is God, nothingness is God, All is God; God and only God, for Infinity.

I realised Infinite Love is just product of this nothingness to keep me dream again.There is no more fear of experiencing nothingness now.

Absolute nothingness is the absence of form. The absence of form is the absence of change. Change is the necessary contrast for form to manifest. There is always change since the absence of change is "never," or absolute nothingness. Absolute nothingness is essentially the same as form; it is limitlessness manifesting as change. The fact of manifestation is inevitable, not essential. What is essential is the total absence of limits.

I think that everyone has a different definition of 'awake', and Buddhists generally don't meet Leo's high standards. To Zen Buddhists, being awake means to see through the illusion of the self and understand existence as pure void. To leo, being awake means an infinite awareness and direct experience of reality as pure consciousness, and eventually the understanding that you are god. These two experiences seem to be distinct to me, although some would argue they are the same. I personally have had this void experience that your monk was saying he had. I was able to achieve it after a few months of "do nothing" meditation. The point that all experience is just void. There is no real substance to reality at all. If you get skilled enough at meditation you can turn off your mind's reality making function and then you just experience pure nothingness while still being conscious, and absent of a sense of self. Check my "Why Reality is Imagination" article a more detailed explanation of that. All of reality is just ideas, and the self is purely a concept. It's not real. I also recommend Fred Davis on YouTube for a good explanation and guidance towards awakening.

Isness what we become when strip everything away. Being. And in that isness is God/Truth/Love/Infinity/Nothingness.

Below is an AI transcription of my audio recording, since they can't be directed posted here. It'd be interested in any comments anyone can make about the accuracy of what's presented, especially stuff I might be misunderstanding or misconstruing. Many thanks. --- To say that I’ve been doing anything like reflecting or investigating would just be bullshit. All I am basically doing—and again, "doing" is not the right word—is witnessing. "Doing" implies that I have some sort of autonomy in the decision-making in terms of what actually flows. In reality, there is no autonomy that I can speak of with any degree of confidence. I just feel like I’m being pushed into a corner that I can't escape from, and it’s not my doing. If it were based on my own free will and choice, I certainly wouldn't be pushing myself into a corner. This has nothing to do with my doing, and that is the whole truth. I know teachers like Robert Adams say, "Okay, fine, you're not in charge, you're not the doer, but you have to act in the world as if you were the doer." I don't know about that. Because when you seem to act, all you come across is just another wall—a big sign saying "No Entrance" or "Private Property." I woke up this morning with that idea as well: everything is unfolding as it has to. There is something bigger at play here. If you look at our experiences in terms of what we experience in the moment, we don’t really have a choice. We are just presented with situations and circumstances. In a particular situation, it may appear that you have a choice, but that choice is just going to be another arising. Something happened earlier today that was quite distinct from previous observations. It was this idea of "I-amness." I probably won't do it justice in my description, but I’ll try my best. This "I-amness" is always there. No matter what situation arises, the "I-amness" is the background. Whether it is observing a particular thought or a sensory experience, the "I-amness" is the thing that is always there. That is the thing that is unchanging and always present. I suppose this is what they mean by "resting in I am." There are a million and one different ways that teachers describe this, but essentially it boils down to: what is the background of all experiences? Speaking of experiences, we tend to have a very dualistic view of what they are. We think there is a thing behind the experience that is observing the experience, which creates duality. In essence, however, reality forms into that experience. When you are worrying about something, there is a collection of thoughts and feelings in the body. That whole thing—including the sense of someone seeing those things—is all one. It comes as one complete package. When we shift from one experience to the next, that "thing" simply reconfigures itself as a different experience. Irrespective of what the experience is about, there is this sense of "I-amness." You can’t really pinpoint it because when you first attempt to do so, you take the attributes of the things being observed and attribute them to the "I-amness." But "I-amness" is attribute-less; it doesn't have any attributes of its own. It is the background or the screen, so to speak. The insight was simply this: all of the teachings are about filtering out as much of "not you" as possible and disidentifying from the sense of "I" to see what remains. Once you strip everything away, you can't really "look" at this "I-amness." It isn't even a feeling. To call it a feeling is a misnomer because it is there before the feeling. It has to be there before the feeling can be experienced. This "I-amness" is the essence of who we are. Do things open up if you rest in this "I-amness" and keep going back to it over and over again? Does realizing that every experience is just a transitory phenomenon—a reconfiguration of this space—open up new ways of understanding? I don't know. But certainly, "I-amness" seems to be the ground of reality and the root of everything, as far as I can tell. Perhaps even "I-amness" eventually dissolves into nothingness, which is what people like Nisargadatta Maharaj talk about—that even consciousness is a product of nothingness. My gut instinct is that "I-amness" is inherent in that nothingness. The attribute-less emptiness of your true being seems to be the base. Perhaps there is a deeper layer where even "I-amness" disappears into nothingness, which is amazing to think about—that out of nothingness first comes a sense of self, an "I." That "I" is then entangled. But to say it is "entangled" implies it is separate from the thing it is entangled with. I don't think that's the case. I think both the "I am" and the thing that "I am" is observing—the witness aspect—are one and same. It’s like a shape-shifting thing where the center is always "I am." There is a common locus around which thoughts and sensory experiences shape-shift. That’s the best I can do in terms of articulating my experiences and the conclusions that arise from them. What reality actually is, I don't know. I’ve only been able to condense it down to these few things. "I-amness" seems to be the prerequisite for any sort of experience. It can also exist in the absence of experience, other than the experience of itself—the "knowingness" that I am. Recognizing this permanent background is the first step. Perhaps if one were to rest there, deeper insights would arise. For the time being, at this level, it seems to be the base. I had an experience many years ago where I saw what pure "I-amness" is, bereft of any experience. It was like a uniform, self-illuminating white light. It seemed to be the substrate, though God knows how many other layers are hidden behind that. For now, I'm just going to keep coming back to this "I-amness." In thought, it's easy to get caught up in a virtual world and forget. It is important to keep returning to the "I-amness" and try to experience it in the absence of thought. If the absence of thought cannot be achieved, then at least acknowledge that it is always there in the background. From there, maybe something will open up. For now, it is sufficient to keep returning to the "I" and understanding that it is the common denominator. Let’s leave it at that.

Since this post is so long, you can just read the summery in parentheses after each paragraph. We have experiences, build correlations, identify patters, materialize desires, externalize needs and project them onto objects, destinations, lifestyles. We wire our mind, connect one sensation onto another, intertwine it with emotions, project and create experiences, entangle ourselves in reality, connect dots, try to make sense, find out what stays consistent, pursue what we correlate with meaning, react based on our understanding, preference, model of reality. We go meta, analyze from a higher vantage point, take on new axioms, untangle one experience from the other, build new context, strive to be more objective, less biased, less self-indulgent, more understanding, more aware of the big picture, a holistic view of where we are, what we are, how we are, why we are, that we are, to see our assumptions as assumptions, identify our intent and its source, arising experience for what it is, figure out how to do that, continue to intuit, explore, experience, be. (Sensations form constellations) Reality has many dimensions, its a sphere we can subdivide, cut into pieces, we can use the pieces to create things, shapes, forms, objects, subjects, selves. The way we connect these things, the way we cognize and make sense, the way we wire sensations with desires, impulses, drives, the way those emerge higher understanding, models, realities. We construct reality, aware or unaware of how we do it. We move our body, choose our activities, consciously or unconsciously, there are many layers of understanding and interpretation, mechanics, explanations, sciences, consistencies, nature, invisible forces, perceived changes, cycles, repetitions, patterns. The conscious and unconscious inflect upon each other to polarize into individual experiences. (Their arrangement is arbitrary) Do we have control? What is control? Is there such a thing as control? Reality flows, we make decisions, we think we make decisions, something makes decisions, we feel the drives within us, the impulses that adjust behavior, manipulate reality. Are we the ones doing it? The self, a constellation, accumulation of patters, ideas, behaviors, acquired tendencies, a reflection of the world it is apart of and yet distinctly itself, creating reality inside out and entangling itself with it, holistically interacting across multiple domains? Do I make decisions or am I simply a conglomerate of the cells that make me deciding as a hive, gut, heart, brain, the personalities within me, the arising desires. Even so, the problem doesn't dissipate, if my cells make the decisions, even then, that which I believe myself to be would simply adjust to be their emergent property, in a way it doesn't matter, since I'd still be every single one of these cells and the emergent, us making decisions or me really becomes the same thing, if will is made on a lower substrate, then the higher is not without will but a more complex expression. But that's just a theory, idea, will is an axiom, ascribed, the self is an axiom, and science is figuring it out under the assumption that it exists, there is something of a gestalt. (The ego is a gestalt) Maybe the perceiver is an illusion, all these unique forces of nature align to create the gestalt I perceive, I believe myself to be. But the duality of a perceiver separates it from the perceived. Yet all it ever sees and knows and can experience is so by virtue of being an experience perceived, by definition not the perceiver. And yet, all of that appears to come out of the perceiver, or flow through it, it is entangled by virtue of being perceived. Let's collapse the duality of perceiver and perceived. In that case everything is perceived or perceiver, let's call it capital P Perception. Perception is being, experiencing, though what about the unperceived, unexperienced, the thoughts that pass through perception and disappear back into the subconscious/unconscious aether. (The duality of perceiver and perceived collapses) There is a duality of the present experience as Perception and on the other hand the known to exist potential unactualized, dematerialized, hidden away. Of all the possible experience, one possibility is currently the case in Perception. Imagine blue, imagine red, now blue is gone but its still in the local subconscious, we can bring it back out, shuffle those two, combine them, but there is much more in the yet unconscious, random ideas we can remember, associate, spawn, an elephant, where did it come from? It wasn't there, now it is. (There is a vast hidden reality beyond the current Experience) Nothingness is the guitar string at rest, in tension, in its original formlessness, without sound, without experience, no action, pure being, all contained, itself empty, Shiva. Objects, ideas, the omni-dimensional fabric of reality, unentangled, pure, detached, without form, without purpose, without assumption, axioms, impulses, unease, tension, drives creating conflict and pursuit, the feeling of separation, the duality of selfishness and selflessness, of love and hate and apathy, and the entropy towards Unity. The ultimate nothing, the nothing that excludes itself, the idea that goes meta, cuts its tail and self-annihilates. The kundalini that burns all karma, the freedom of being content, fulfilled, untangled, of being where one wants to be, more even, the collapse of all dualities create a no-space, no-distance, everything already is, nowhere to go, nowhere to be, a singularity that merges all and annihilates all distance. Now there is no story, no protagonist, no world, no being nor non-being, neither isness nor non-isness, when all dualities, all pointers collapse themselves. (Nothingness collapses all forms into the base state) Nothingness is the realization that any constellation of experience is possible, that any arrangement of forms is arbitrary. That any desire connects itself to other sensations creating a gestalt. Forms keep themselves afloat, they link and associate themselves to other forms, creating pathways, roads, directions, cycles, stories, experiences, dependent arising/origination whose contrast creates an actual Duality that correspondingly spawns the idea of itself, through identification of the inherent difference of perception, which is created inside out through sensory perception, but on a larger scale the universe really takes that form in order for it to become the experience of an individual to be processed and interpreted further. But that actuality is a higher form of the same phenomenon, invisible forces, laws of physics, dependent origination, complexifying and turning itself into self-perceiving observers made conscious through the perception of those more universal forms. There is consciousness and within it infinite forms. (The universe splits itself into dualities and experiences itself through entities) This isn't a reason to despair into nihilism, nihilism ultimately inflects upon itself and dissolves as well. Purpose is self-determined, socially expanded/contextualized/harmonized, God a dreamer across infinite dimensions, lifeforms arrange themselves creating tendencies and desires, exploring the universe. We use senses to create ourselves, cognition to understand ourselves explicitly, through intuition implicitly, our brain is both dual and non-dual, left and right hemisphere, order and chaos, form and creativity that arises from the formless. We are created and on a higher level create ourselves, our awareness of the process is variable, dualities form different interpretations and collapse into higher self-understanding. (We create and experience ourselves through dualities and exist independently in the formless) We build systems, sciences, mathematics, physics, biology, they are self-contained systems, maps, a conceptual reflection of reality, a variable progressing technical mechanistic understanding, we try to unite them through formulas, strive to achieve complete consistency. Reality is outside of that, it is Meta. We use these rules to understand correlations, to manipulate reality, but reality can always go meta, can always be more. In a new realization, it itself becomes the past, a lens of perception, interpretation, correlation, constellation. But it is cut off from the ever rejuvenating present that transcends it and expands itself non-linearly by creating new patterns that are retroactively integrated, universal intelligence, Chitta. (Systems are self-contained mechanically consistent models that correspond or correlate with specific aspects of reality, but reality is infinitely more meta) Pragmatically, we keep ideas, models, relations in our mind, but there is a force capable of instant understanding, the source of creation, a cosmic intelligence that leads one to understand what a thing is in itself, unmeasured by contrast, untainted by preference, bias, desire. I am attached to models, understanding, but there is a force that transcends and skips all that by going beyond and becoming the thing it seeks to understand, foregoing all the complicated dualistic calculations that try to understand a thing through its correlation with other things. An awareness, that sees and knows, an intuition that feels, a top-down understanding and the more I break away from creating systems, that more I access it, but its always beyond. If I want to create something in this dualistic world, then I conceptualize, associate and relate what I know, then use this knowledge to create. But to use this transcendent intelligence is go straight to the source of one's desire and work top down, breaking the top holon into the simplest pieces necessary to replicate it and discovering new patterns in the process. (There is a cosmic top-down intelligence that arises spontaneously to those with an empty mind) One has goals, dualities created for the pursuit of happiness, but the pursuit itself creates separation, and yet that pursuit itself is the result of a previous state of unhappiness, it is an attempt to solve it, but it is a separate overlay, a distinction created to externally resolve a corresponding projected image of an internal state. That internal state however is a result of one's own self-understanding and psyche, self-image, the belief that the external shall inform the internal, that internal feelings ought to correspond to external achievements or environments. This dichotomy itself is the problem, internal states are self-regulated, self-imposed, self-determined, it is simply the lack of consciousness that prevented one from seeing that all internal feelings are a self-determined correspondence to external reality. Wants and desires are subconsciously wired to the allowance of the experience of happiness, initially they are wired for survival, after this when a model of reality is constructed in childhood, reality is far more variable and flexible, but with oughts/shoulds and expectations a pattern of gratification, of conditioned happiness is developed, assumed objective, assumed real, believed into existence, a self-fulfilling prophecy, a blindspot, a mechanic system of beliefs but greater reality transcends the limitations that the ego loses itself in. (Happiness is natural state that the ego separates itself from through conditions) Unity -> Duality -> Arrangement -> Interpretation -> Systems -> Consistency -> Mechanics -> Knowledge -> "Facts" -> Ego Ego -> Adaptation -> Exploration -> Change -> Transience -> Dynamicism -> Awareness -> Ego-Death -> Non-Duality -> Unity The world we see is an arrangement of many patterns, physically seeming properties, idea constructs, but they're dynamic, they reference an ever morphing system. Any idea, word, sentence is an attempt, a pointer towards an aspect of reality, ideas are absolute by themselves as definitions but are really just a map, not the territory. There is a process that creates the very ideas separate from territory. There is a process that creates the very territory itself. And there is a process that correlates the territory with maps and brings those maps into awareness as a bridge, (The map is not the territory but the process that allows for the creation of maps is quite fascinating) Everything is actual but some things are more directly actual than others. Actual Nothing -> Actual Something -> (Actual) Idea of Something -> (Actual) Idea of Nothing Though this is still a duality, if the territory is the truth, then the map is part of the territory, The map is a subset of the territory that creates a systemized reflection through available mechanisms. And then there is the territory itself, an uninterpreted, unsystemized non-dual experience of something that can be described through a thousand lenses and gives rise to any and all interpretations and creates a dozen dualities. The experience itself: "Actuality", of course actuality is a duality, or it can be used as such, clearly by the very fact of the existence of a word, it points to something and by pointing to something it points away from somewhere else. Actuality as a duality points to that territory from which all maps arise, it points away from the maps and onto the thing itself left uninterpreted. The greater capital Actuality however encompasses the map and dissolves the duality, the focus dissipates, everything becomes experience, including the process of creating maps and the maps themselves, the duality and objectification of the separation disappears. Everything becomes the territory, but that fact can only be understood by transcending the journey from where one stands, which is often from inside the duality that is to dissolve. (The map is actually a subset of the territory and merges with it in Non-Duality) In summery, Non-Dual Nothingness is the fabric of all being, it takes forms creating dualities and distinctions, creating objects and subjects and maps that are a subset of reality, any one thing can be interpreted in a million ways by a million lenses through association, distinction, pattern recognition. When Non-Dual Nothingness is paired as a duality with Non-Dual Infinity, that duality itself can be dissolved into a larger Non-Duality. Where everything is only and ever itself, all contexts can arise and are themselves as well. A superposition of any thing, a superposition of any combination, a superposition of any interpretation. A superposition of every pattern, the combination of any pattern with any other pattern in any constellation in relation to any other constellation, in any form or time, or relation, or entropy, contextualized and actualized in the infinite dream. (Nothingness and Infinity are two sides of the same coin and that coin itself is a superposition of anything and everything in any context and every context infinitely interconnected and intermerged in relation and contrasted to any and all other possibilities. To go meta is to transcend and include and the ultimate meta is that which transcends and includes everything including nothing and itself)